For my money, there’s nothing sexier than a sweaty nutsack and a flaccid cock in a sandwich bag.
You had me at sweaty nutsack
Just wait till you see the matching taint pastie.
Spoiler, it’s duct tape and twist ties.
I cringe when I see women duct tape their nipples.
Meh… Oil (baby, olive, whatever) breaks down the adhesive, so such things can be removed painlessly. Annnd that’s all the sharing I’m willing to do on the Internet today!
The More You Know! (*Ding!*)
They WHAT? WHY??
Who uses duct tape? I’ve seen lots of electrical tape used for this purpose though (that adhesive isn’t much worse than a bandaid).
It is so thoughtful of the seller to include the twist-tie in the bag. That way after you sweat your balls off you can pop them in the sack and with just a twist, they’ll be secure. Would think that it would be rather itchy to wear though.
Sexy, yes, but is it resistant to freezer burn?
The freezer-safe version costs extra.
Oh yeah. Wear for five seconds to entice your partner, then TAKE THAT SHIT OFF QUICK before your dick faints. Mr. Johnson needs oxygen too!
So wait, you don’t want your partner to give Mr. Johnson “rescue breaths”?
Depends on the flavor of your sweat and your partner’s tolerance for it…
Actually, a recent study determined that arousal lowers the “ick”/disgust factor in women.
That explains a lot.
Oh, wow, the comment discussion…0_o
Just a wild guess–you’re new here. Trust me, this is nothing. Now run screaming into the night while you still have a chance…
Would any of us be here if it didn’t?
It’s not women I’m concerned with…
Also, with all the sweating going on, there’s also a potential issue with chafing. Not fun or sexy to walk around bowlegged and wincing at every step.
Lowers it, not annihilates it. Ziploc undies drop below my “ick-bar.”
Does it come with a supply of Gold Bond powder?
Also, won’t the clear plastic fog up?
You could just fill it with the Gold Bond, and nestle right into it. Full Gold Bond immersion. All day.
yes a wonderful smelling thing. A nut sweat reservoir.
Now if they installed a tiny tap at the bottom to drain the sweat THAT would be sexy.
Mmmm, sealed for freshness!
There’s a lid for every pot. It’s got to hurt less to take off after it’s all sticky and sweaty than removing, say, a bandaid or duct tape.
I’d rather the duct tape/band aid option over the uncomfortable shame that would come with draining the sweat from my plastic bag underwear every couple of hours.
“Have your heard about Schwetty balls?”
Mmmm, Schwetty balls.
“Have you tried my Schwetty wiener?”
I got a whole Schwetty ball sack for Christmas!
Hey I love hot salty nuts!
“Suck on my choc – late salty ba-alls….. Just stick em in yo mouth and suck em…”
I will never be able to use a sandwich bag without wincing and laughing
Especially if you are bagging carrot sticks or pickles
Just be happy it’s not shrink wrapped.
But with a hair-dryer it can be…
I always related shrinkage to the cold. Hmm…
The shrink will be needed by the person who has to see this thing in action.
This shop also contains a Flintstones-esque loin cloth and various pairs of underwear modeled on mannequins with very prominent erections. It could not have been easy deciding which one to post.
How have I managed to live for 52 years without knowing they make mannequins with prominent erections? Once again, Regretsy lets me know that my whole life has been a lie and without purpose.
On the plus side, you now know what to ask for this Christmas/birthday.
This looks like it is being modelled by an x -rated Ken doll.
I thought you were lying.
Why would a mannequin even NEED an erection? What on earth is it supposed to be modelling? No, don’t answer that.
Oh god. Imagine finding a bunch of those thrown haphazardly into a dusty old storage building somewhere.
Want! Imagine the fuckery you could get up to with those.
The male mannequins need erections for the same reason that some female mannequins need sexy sexy large breasts. To best show off the merchandise…
Maybe the seller has coordinating cock rings upcycled from shower curtain rings, trimmed with the same lace.
Lace is glue gunned on, right?
Twilight Zone episode just waiting to be made. Mannequin Qrgies at night
How else to display your merchandise for fall condom fashion week? The live models are so unreliable.
This shop is also called Something Wild in California; despite not being located in California!
“Welcome to Something Wild in California! (SWIC) Now located in Pennsylvania”
I guess if you had a thing for those supermarket trays of meat . . .
Why do I get the feeling that some idiot that buys this is going to try and use it as a condom?
Why is that I ask?
I keep looking at the picture (whoopes, accidentally typed ‘pricture’) and seeing a reservoir tip.
Ok it’s the lace part that bugs me. If I am going to display Gigantor in a sandwich bag I’m gonna need more than lace.
It would be the seam in the PVC that would be the deal-breaker, I’d think. That crap’s gonna chafe…
NEW – with wings!
I thought it was rickrack. Nothing hotter than rickrack and sandwich bags on the privates.
The lace is supposed to be dainty – for contrast.
Contrast like sanity vs insanity, sexy vs dick shriveling? but I bet you are right
Nothing’s sexier than a sweaty, shriveled dick surrounded by lace.
I admit was curious if this actually had sold (it has) and went onto their store and found this. I am now very very confused and disturbed. (warning. some things once seen, cannot be unseen)
So THAT’S what happened to Grandma’s decorative sofa-arm covers!
Wow! I kind of want to get one so I can try to get my husband to wear it. Not because I think it’s very hot, but more because it’s hilarious.
Not pink, though. Gotta give him his manliness.
Pink. Lace. Nut-panties. For… occasions where your boys want to feel pretty too?
No, it’s to encourage their feminine side, although, that may not be the time and place
It’s actually quite practical. The “sock” is made from what’s left of… someone’s… lace panties after the crotch rots out.
Is it BPA-free?
Keeps your sack and your snacks in one convenient package.
I like a couple of nuts thrown in with my Goldfish crackers.
This ain’t me cause I’m Hefty Hefty Hefty
and I’m wearing your CINCH-SACK
The part I like is where is a “family owned business.” I’m buying my oldest daughter a sewing machine for Christmas this year to teach her to sew on, and this is a great model for mother-daughter projects…
Sorry. I only stick sausages with all-natural casings in my mouth.
Woah, sexy. Mmm yeah….show me your leftovers baby.
I’m sorry, but if I were with someone I’d finally decided to have sex with, and he said “I just need to go into the bathroom for a moment” and came out wearing something that looked like my granny’s chair arm covers, I would be laughing too hard to continue. He’d probably end up leaving in a huff, though I hope he’d put his pants back on before he did.
Come on, let the neighbors have some good laughs too.
Norvin C. “Sweaty” Nutsack was the star Catcher for the St. Louis Browns in the 1903-1906 seasons.
There’s a Bubble Boy joke in here somewhere.
Why is that man wearing a tampon, and how many tampons are included? Does it come with the vintage tampon case? So many questions…
Something Wild In California! Now located in Pennsylvania. WTF, seller, WTF?
And why do the models have such…*pointy* dongs? I mean, we’re talking literal needle dicks here. If I saw something like that coming for me, I’d be expecting it to be for a biopsy.
I take a break from Regretsy and get sweaty balls in a sandwich baggie.
Should I laugh, cry, or just look through the backlog of missed links?
Do you burp it before you seal it?
I’d love a Glad Bag. Where’s the zipper lock?
Jesus H Christ… THE SMELL.
I can’t help but cringe at the thought of the moist ballhair clinging limply to the scrote.
Like a bag of drowned spiders.
I salute you, you win the internet today!!
There is enough room in there for some blue water, a castle and a few goldfish.
Don’t forget the treasure chest that opens and closes!
I think this is what they call ‘seal a meal’.
Boil in the bag?
Let’s just resurrect this link, because it’s so much fun:
Seriously, if you want a male bikini-type bottom that makes you look like a camel-toe cutie, complete with a steel ring around your bunghole for “easy access,” there ain’t no place better.
I will not click the link. I will not click the link. I will not click the ….. Oh, God, my eyes!
Why did I click the link?
Oh great. Look what you started:
“Small, standard or large pouch”, so…snack size, sandwich size or quart size?
Quart size would give you a handy place to keep your keys and wallet.
What dude harbors a deep longing to display their wang n’ sack in a terrarium?
I would wear that during winter here in New England. While the rest of me is cold and dry, my sack will be enjoying the steamy sweaty heat of a trip to the jungles of Panama. How exotic!
Plastic ball-bags: because nothing brings a couple together like mutual yeast infections.
I believe my guy will be getting a cotton cock cozy for Christmas.
This seems like the kind of thing I might have attempted myself, for fun, when I was maybe 13 and still with the first-ever boyfriend.
Presumably, the person running this store is an adult. They have no excuse.
I wish they hadn’t priced it ending in “.97″ That just cheapens it. Clearly.
I imagine it’s something like standing with your face pressed against the car wash window watching a big sausage going through.
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