Meh… Oil (baby, olive, whatever) breaks down the adhesive, so such things can be removed painlessly. Annnd that’s all the sharing I’m willing to do on the Internet today!
It is so thoughtful of the seller to include the twist-tie in the bag. That way after you sweat your balls off you can pop them in the sack and with just a twist, they’ll be secure. Would think that it would be rather itchy to wear though.
I’d rather the duct tape/band aid option over the uncomfortable shame that would come with draining the sweat from my plastic bag underwear every couple of hours.
This shop also contains a Flintstones-esque loin cloth and various pairs of underwear modeled on mannequins with very prominent erections. It could not have been easy deciding which one to post.
How have I managed to live for 52 years without knowing they make mannequins with prominent erections? Once again, Regretsy lets me know that my whole life has been a lie and without purpose.
Wow! I kind of want to get one so I can try to get my husband to wear it. Not because I think it’s very hot, but more because it’s hilarious.
Not pink, though. Gotta give him his manliness.
The part I like is where is a “family owned business.” I’m buying my oldest daughter a sewing machine for Christmas this year to teach her to sew on, and this is a great model for mother-daughter projects…
I’m sorry, but if I were with someone I’d finally decided to have sex with, and he said “I just need to go into the bathroom for a moment” and came out wearing something that looked like my granny’s chair arm covers, I would be laughing too hard to continue. He’d probably end up leaving in a huff, though I hope he’d put his pants back on before he did.
Something Wild In California! Now located in Pennsylvania. WTF, seller, WTF?
And why do the models have such…*pointy* dongs? I mean, we’re talking literal needle dicks here. If I saw something like that coming for me, I’d be expecting it to be for a biopsy.
Seriously, if you want a male bikini-type bottom that makes you look like a camel-toe cutie, complete with a steel ring around your bunghole for “easy access,” there ain’t no place better.
I would wear that during winter here in New England. While the rest of me is cold and dry, my sack will be enjoying the steamy sweaty heat of a trip to the jungles of Panama. How exotic!
September 20, 2012 at 5:02 pm
You had me at sweaty nutsack
September 20, 2012 at 5:27 pm
Just wait till you see the matching taint pastie.
Spoiler, it’s duct tape and twist ties.
September 20, 2012 at 6:14 pm
I cringe when I see women duct tape their nipples.
September 21, 2012 at 8:06 am
Meh… Oil (baby, olive, whatever) breaks down the adhesive, so such things can be removed painlessly. Annnd that’s all the sharing I’m willing to do on the Internet today!The More You Know! (*Ding!*)
September 21, 2012 at 12:14 pm
They WHAT? WHY??
September 21, 2012 at 4:37 pm
Who uses duct tape? I’ve seen lots of electrical tape used for this purpose though (that adhesive isn’t much worse than a bandaid).
September 21, 2012 at 12:16 pm
It is so thoughtful of the seller to include the twist-tie in the bag. That way after you sweat your balls off you can pop them in the sack and with just a twist, they’ll be secure. Would think that it would be rather itchy to wear though.
September 20, 2012 at 5:02 pm
Sexy, yes, but is it resistant to freezer burn?
September 21, 2012 at 7:58 am
The freezer-safe version costs extra.
September 20, 2012 at 5:02 pm
Oh yeah. Wear for five seconds to entice your partner, then TAKE THAT SHIT OFF QUICK before your dick faints. Mr. Johnson needs oxygen too!
September 20, 2012 at 5:10 pm
So wait, you don’t want your partner to give Mr. Johnson “rescue breaths”?
September 20, 2012 at 5:17 pm
Depends on the flavor of your sweat and your partner’s tolerance for it…
September 20, 2012 at 6:42 pm
Actually, a recent study determined that arousal lowers the “ick”/disgust factor in women.
http://www.scientificamerican.com/podcast/episode.cfm?id=sexually-aroused-women-are-harder-t-12-09-17
September 20, 2012 at 7:37 pm
Science Triumphs!
September 20, 2012 at 7:57 pm
That explains a lot.
September 20, 2012 at 9:44 pm
Oh, wow, the comment discussion…0_o
September 20, 2012 at 10:27 pm
Just a wild guess–you’re new here. Trust me, this is nothing. Now run screaming into the night while you still have a chance…
September 21, 2012 at 1:28 am
Would any of us be here if it didn’t?
September 21, 2012 at 6:01 am
It’s not women I’m concerned with…
Also, with all the sweating going on, there’s also a potential issue with chafing. Not fun or sexy to walk around bowlegged and wincing at every step.
September 21, 2012 at 12:00 pm
Lowers it, not annihilates it. Ziploc undies drop below my “ick-bar.”
September 20, 2012 at 5:14 pm
September 20, 2012 at 5:02 pm
Does it come with a supply of Gold Bond powder?
Also, won’t the clear plastic fog up?
September 21, 2012 at 4:46 am
You could just fill it with the Gold Bond, and nestle right into it. Full Gold Bond immersion. All day.
September 21, 2012 at 6:40 am
yes a wonderful smelling thing. A nut sweat reservoir.
September 21, 2012 at 9:00 am
Now if they installed a tiny tap at the bottom to drain the sweat THAT would be sexy.
September 20, 2012 at 5:03 pm
Mmmm, sealed for freshness!
September 20, 2012 at 5:04 pm
There’s a lid for every pot. It’s got to hurt less to take off after it’s all sticky and sweaty than removing, say, a bandaid or duct tape.
September 21, 2012 at 4:35 am
I’d rather the duct tape/band aid option over the uncomfortable shame that would come with draining the sweat from my plastic bag underwear every couple of hours.
September 20, 2012 at 5:05 pm
“Have your heard about Schwetty balls?”
September 20, 2012 at 5:14 pm
Mmmm, Schwetty balls.
September 20, 2012 at 5:25 pm
“Have you tried my Schwetty wiener?”
September 20, 2012 at 5:57 pm
I got a whole Schwetty ball sack for Christmas!
September 20, 2012 at 5:05 pm
Hey I love hot salty nuts!
September 20, 2012 at 6:52 pm
“Suck on my choc – late salty ba-alls….. Just stick em in yo mouth and suck em…”
September 20, 2012 at 5:06 pm
I will never be able to use a sandwich bag without wincing and laughing
September 21, 2012 at 12:02 pm
Especially if you are bagging carrot sticks or pickles
September 20, 2012 at 5:09 pm
Just be happy it’s not shrink wrapped.
September 20, 2012 at 5:58 pm
But with a hair-dryer it can be…
September 20, 2012 at 6:13 pm
I always related shrinkage to the cold. Hmm…
September 20, 2012 at 11:45 pm
The shrink will be needed by the person who has to see this thing in action.
September 20, 2012 at 5:17 pm
This shop also contains a Flintstones-esque loin cloth and various pairs of underwear modeled on mannequins with very prominent erections. It could not have been easy deciding which one to post.
September 20, 2012 at 5:21 pm
How have I managed to live for 52 years without knowing they make mannequins with prominent erections? Once again, Regretsy lets me know that my whole life has been a lie and without purpose.
September 21, 2012 at 12:08 pm
On the plus side, you now know what to ask for this Christmas/birthday.
September 20, 2012 at 5:39 pm
This looks like it is being modelled by an x -rated Ken doll.
September 20, 2012 at 5:48 pm
I thought you were lying.
Why would a mannequin even NEED an erection? What on earth is it supposed to be modelling? No, don’t answer that.
Oh god. Imagine finding a bunch of those thrown haphazardly into a dusty old storage building somewhere.
September 20, 2012 at 6:57 pm
Want! Imagine the fuckery you could get up to with those.
September 20, 2012 at 7:24 pm
The male mannequins need erections for the same reason that some female mannequins need sexy sexy large breasts. To best show off the merchandise…
Maybe the seller has coordinating cock rings upcycled from shower curtain rings, trimmed with the same lace.
September 21, 2012 at 12:04 pm
Lace is glue gunned on, right?
September 20, 2012 at 8:33 pm
Twilight Zone episode just waiting to be made. Mannequin Qrgies at night
September 21, 2012 at 12:07 pm
How else to display your merchandise for fall condom fashion week? The live models are so unreliable.
September 21, 2012 at 11:17 am
This shop is also called Something Wild in California; despite not being located in California!
“Welcome to Something Wild in California! (SWIC) Now located in Pennsylvania”
September 20, 2012 at 5:20 pm
I guess if you had a thing for those supermarket trays of meat . . .
September 20, 2012 at 5:21 pm
Why do I get the feeling that some idiot that buys this is going to try and use it as a condom?
Why is that I ask?
September 20, 2012 at 6:59 pm
I keep looking at the picture (whoopes, accidentally typed ‘pricture’) and seeing a reservoir tip.
September 20, 2012 at 5:23 pm
Ok it’s the lace part that bugs me. If I am going to display Gigantor in a sandwich bag I’m gonna need more than lace.
September 20, 2012 at 5:41 pm
It would be the seam in the PVC that would be the deal-breaker, I’d think. That crap’s gonna chafe…
September 20, 2012 at 5:42 pm
NEW – with wings!
September 20, 2012 at 6:09 pm
I thought it was rickrack. Nothing hotter than rickrack and sandwich bags on the privates.
September 20, 2012 at 6:54 pm
The lace is supposed to be dainty – for contrast.
September 20, 2012 at 8:36 pm
Contrast like sanity vs insanity, sexy vs dick shriveling? but I bet you are right
September 21, 2012 at 8:01 am
Nothing’s sexier than a sweaty, shriveled dick surrounded by lace.
September 20, 2012 at 5:27 pm
I admit was curious if this actually had sold (it has) and went onto their store and found this. I am now very very confused and disturbed. (warning. some things once seen, cannot be unseen)
http://www.etsy.com/listing/103698107/mens-strapless-backless-sock-ball-hugger
September 20, 2012 at 5:29 pm
So THAT’S what happened to Grandma’s decorative sofa-arm covers!
September 20, 2012 at 5:43 pm
Wow! I kind of want to get one so I can try to get my husband to wear it. Not because I think it’s very hot, but more because it’s hilarious.
Not pink, though. Gotta give him his manliness.
September 20, 2012 at 6:02 pm
Pink. Lace. Nut-panties. For… occasions where your boys want to feel pretty too?
September 20, 2012 at 6:11 pm
No, it’s to encourage their feminine side, although, that may not be the time and place
September 20, 2012 at 10:51 pm
It’s actually quite practical. The “sock” is made from what’s left of… someone’s… lace panties after the crotch rots out.
September 20, 2012 at 5:27 pm
Is it BPA-free?
September 20, 2012 at 5:30 pm
Keeps your sack and your snacks in one convenient package.
September 20, 2012 at 6:31 pm
I like a couple of nuts thrown in with my Goldfish crackers.
September 20, 2012 at 5:34 pm
This ain’t me cause I’m Hefty Hefty Hefty
September 20, 2012 at 8:39 pm
and I’m wearing your CINCH-SACK
Hefty-Hefty-Hefty -whimpy-whimpy-whimpy
September 20, 2012 at 5:37 pm
The part I like is where is a “family owned business.” I’m buying my oldest daughter a sewing machine for Christmas this year to teach her to sew on, and this is a great model for mother-daughter projects…
September 20, 2012 at 5:55 pm
Sorry. I only stick sausages with all-natural casings in my mouth.
September 20, 2012 at 6:17 pm
PermaCondom™
September 20, 2012 at 6:25 pm
Woah, sexy. Mmm yeah….show me your leftovers baby.
September 20, 2012 at 6:30 pm
I’m sorry, but if I were with someone I’d finally decided to have sex with, and he said “I just need to go into the bathroom for a moment” and came out wearing something that looked like my granny’s chair arm covers, I would be laughing too hard to continue. He’d probably end up leaving in a huff, though I hope he’d put his pants back on before he did.
September 21, 2012 at 12:11 pm
Come on, let the neighbors have some good laughs too.
September 20, 2012 at 6:32 pm
Norvin C. “Sweaty” Nutsack was the star Catcher for the St. Louis Browns in the 1903-1906 seasons.
September 20, 2012 at 6:49 pm
There’s a Bubble Boy joke in here somewhere.
September 20, 2012 at 7:05 pm
Why is that man wearing a tampon, and how many tampons are included? Does it come with the vintage tampon case? So many questions…
September 20, 2012 at 7:08 pm
Something Wild In California! Now located in Pennsylvania. WTF, seller, WTF?
And why do the models have such…*pointy* dongs? I mean, we’re talking literal needle dicks here. If I saw something like that coming for me, I’d be expecting it to be for a biopsy.
September 20, 2012 at 7:40 pm
I take a break from Regretsy and get sweaty balls in a sandwich baggie.
Should I laugh, cry, or just look through the backlog of missed links?
September 20, 2012 at 7:51 pm
Do you burp it before you seal it?
September 20, 2012 at 7:55 pm
I’d love a Glad Bag. Where’s the zipper lock?
September 20, 2012 at 8:13 pm
Jesus H Christ… THE SMELL.
I can’t help but cringe at the thought of the moist ballhair clinging limply to the scrote.
Like a bag of drowned spiders.
September 21, 2012 at 1:18 am
I salute you, you win the internet today!!
September 20, 2012 at 9:36 pm
There is enough room in there for some blue water, a castle and a few goldfish.
September 21, 2012 at 8:18 am
Don’t forget the treasure chest that opens and closes!
September 20, 2012 at 9:37 pm
I think this is what they call ‘seal a meal’.
erf.
September 21, 2012 at 9:04 am
Boil in the bag?
September 20, 2012 at 10:31 pm
Let’s just resurrect this link, because it’s so much fun:
http://koalaswim.com
Seriously, if you want a male bikini-type bottom that makes you look like a camel-toe cutie, complete with a steel ring around your bunghole for “easy access,” there ain’t no place better.
September 21, 2012 at 8:04 am
I will not click the link. I will not click the link. I will not click the ….. Oh, God, my eyes!
Why did I click the link?
September 20, 2012 at 10:41 pm
Oh great. Look what you started:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/20/billa-peeled-bananas-plastic-wrap_n_1900267.html
September 20, 2012 at 10:55 pm
“Small, standard or large pouch”, so…snack size, sandwich size or quart size?
September 21, 2012 at 8:05 am
Quart size would give you a handy place to keep your keys and wallet.
September 21, 2012 at 4:44 am
What dude harbors a deep longing to display their wang n’ sack in a terrarium?
September 21, 2012 at 12:13 pm
Aquaman?
September 21, 2012 at 4:51 am
I would wear that during winter here in New England. While the rest of me is cold and dry, my sack will be enjoying the steamy sweaty heat of a trip to the jungles of Panama. How exotic!
September 21, 2012 at 9:34 am
Plastic ball-bags: because nothing brings a couple together like mutual yeast infections.
September 21, 2012 at 9:43 am
I believe my guy will be getting a cotton cock cozy for Christmas.
September 21, 2012 at 2:46 pm
This seems like the kind of thing I might have attempted myself, for fun, when I was maybe 13 and still with the first-ever boyfriend.
Presumably, the person running this store is an adult. They have no excuse.
September 21, 2012 at 4:35 pm
I wish they hadn’t priced it ending in “.97″ That just cheapens it. Clearly.
September 22, 2012 at 2:07 pm
I imagine it’s something like standing with your face pressed against the car wash window watching a big sausage going through.