I’m worried my slighted, nude-photographing ex will one day decide to open an Etsy account when he runs low on money to buy weed. At least I had great tits then.
I doubt the kids say that – it’s beautifully spelled and punctuated. They may say “pix or it dint happen”, or similar, allowing for ergional variations.
Kiki is right. I’ve been doing a lot of Extra work (look for me on episode three of the new season of Two Broke girls as a construction worker standing next to the Broke Girls on the subway) and when you are sitting in Holding there is always one or two people stating they were next to so-and-so in this episode, or crossed in front of _________ in this movie. “Do you have clips to show us” and the response is no. In this age of smart phones and YouTube it’s pix (or vid clips)or it didnt happen.
Well, and what would be the point of buying a “clean” print? So that you can hang it in your living room and discuss the artistic choices of the photographer and the historical tradition of subjugating women by having them nude under the watchful gaze of a clothed male? Can you imagine what it would be like if someone decided that nude paintings at the Met had to be “cleaned” up for the innocent eyes of school children?
And why is a censored image considered “clean” anyway? The implication being that erotica and sex are dirty. Of course, maybe he just means that the pubic area has been shaved so that the wine is clean, but then you’d think that they’d just shoot that alternate on the same day, in which case I don’t know why they’d need extra time for shipping and handling.
I assume he’s already signed the one he printed, and it will be a couple of weeks before the shifts align and he can’t print another without his boss at Deck the Walls finding out.
I always understood “clean print” to mean no watermark (though your guess is as good as mine as to why he needs that much turn-around time).
That being said, I don’t think there’s any way they can make that wine clean again…
I am such a dunce! I was wondering what the hell they had spilled on the pic and why would anyone not want it clean! I blame lack of sleep and lack of intoxication.
this just makes me think of a cross between menstruation and holy communion, which is amazingly, unhappily wrong on every available level. And also, very Etsy.
I’d rather have a Pricasso if I’m going to hang any erotic art in my house. And why do I need to specifically ask for a clean copy? What did the photographer do to it?
I want to get married again, just to have a hen party and get Pricasso over. Course, I would really rather go to Australia myself, but hey – I have friends who would really, really appreciate him!
It it just me or does the dude in this photo seem really out of place? It’s like, either be naked or wearing full bondage gear or something. He’s just wearing khakis??
He just looks really disappointed in them. Like their wine-pouring technique is just HORRIBLE or something. And why can’t the guy at least be topless if we’re going to be throwing nudity around? Not that I especially WANT to see him naked, but equality, you know.
Like no-one told him it was going to be THAT sort of party and he’s wondering if he should take of his clothes, and wondering why he wore the underpants with Homer Simpson on them.
Is it bad that my first thought was, “Dammit, that wine’s gonna stain the HELL outta that hardwood floor! Why didn’t they put down some plastic sheeting??”
Of course, my second thought was, “Yay! They aren’t using anorexic stick-figure models!”
There was this big white snake at the Criminal Minds shoot I did Monday and everybody was going crazy about it. Whats the big deal I see a big white snake every time I go to the bathroom…
This makes me think of the Curb Your Enthusiasm episode where Larry develops an annoying cough and goes to the doctor because he has a pube stuck in his throat.
Could somebody please photoshop them in a field and make the guy look like a skinny, annoyed Bacchus? I feel this would make great Greek-inspired fuckery.
The look on that guys face says, *sigh* “this is what I get for moving in with an ‘artist’, when the fucker can’t pay his rent shit gets weird and my wine get pubes.”
Looking through her shop she’s got some stuff that’s really very good. I’d have to wait till the kid’s out of the house, but I would hang quite a few of them up.
This screams Game of Thrones to me for some reason. Gratuitous amounts of boobage with wine maybe? Wouldn’t be surprised to see a scene like this added in Season 3…
I\m not exactly sure about how erotic art is supposed to look like, but I do know for sure what this person does is nor erotic, nor art. It’s like wtf, would this turn anyone on? It’s just simply GROSS. And since when are pubic bushes back “in”?
September 19, 2012 at 3:05 pm
I am always worried one of these weird “erotica” prints will have me in it. In my defense, I do it for the money.
September 19, 2012 at 3:15 pm
I’m worried my slighted, nude-photographing ex will one day decide to open an Etsy account when he runs low on money to buy weed. At least I had great tits then.
September 19, 2012 at 5:47 pm
Money? I only got paid in wine.
September 19, 2012 at 8:49 pm
Wine? I only got paid with a copy of this crappy photo.
September 19, 2012 at 10:14 pm
I was young and I really needed the latex stockings
September 19, 2012 at 3:05 pm
It’s like someone found an old “stag” magazine picture in my weird uncle’s basement bar.
September 19, 2012 at 3:05 pm
I can’t think of anything funnier to say than what you’ve already got there, HK!
September 19, 2012 at 3:35 pm
I can’t take credit for this one.
September 19, 2012 at 10:24 pm
How about the wine and the women are both full bodied?!
September 20, 2012 at 9:13 am
Sweet, full-bodied… and the wine isn’t bad either!
September 19, 2012 at 3:05 pm
and doesn’t that guy just look thrilled?
September 19, 2012 at 3:11 pm
“Pube wine AGAIN? Dammit, can’t we just drink at a table like normal polygamists?”
September 19, 2012 at 3:25 pm
He looks like more of a beer guy. AND WHY ISN’T HE NAKED?
September 19, 2012 at 3:30 pm
Maybe that isn’t really wine.
Maybe it’s the blood of the last khaki wearing virgin who delivered pizza to that loft.
September 19, 2012 at 3:32 pm
I love you for revolutionizing the way I view this photograph. Effin’ brilliance!
September 19, 2012 at 9:50 pm
They start with the red, then onto some penis noir
September 19, 2012 at 3:52 pm
If it’s Tom Cruise (whom the poor guy seems to be a dead ringer for), I can see how naked women wouldn’t necessarily get his rocks a-rollin’.
September 19, 2012 at 3:05 pm
I dont always drink wine off strangers’ tits, but when I do, I prefer it when said strangers have recently shaved or waxed.
September 19, 2012 at 9:52 pm
and you, are The Most Interesting Gumdrop in the World
September 19, 2012 at 3:05 pm
I do the makeup for this shit. No srsly. FML.
September 19, 2012 at 3:32 pm
Horror stories, PLEEEAAASE?!?!!
September 19, 2012 at 3:46 pm
I think, “pics or it didn’t happen” is what the kids say.
September 19, 2012 at 4:22 pm
I doubt the kids say that – it’s beautifully spelled and punctuated. They may say “pix or it dint happen”, or similar, allowing for ergional variations.
September 19, 2012 at 4:22 pm
Hehehe. “regional”. See, I’m a kid at heart!
September 20, 2012 at 12:05 am
For a second I thought “ergional” was just a smart people word I didn’t know.
September 19, 2012 at 6:50 pm
Haha, that is true. I also make the egregious error of texting in complete sentences. Oh, the humanity!
September 19, 2012 at 10:05 pm
Kiki is right. I’ve been doing a lot of Extra work (look for me on episode three of the new season of Two Broke girls as a construction worker standing next to the Broke Girls on the subway) and when you are sitting in Holding there is always one or two people stating they were next to so-and-so in this episode, or crossed in front of _________ in this movie. “Do you have clips to show us” and the response is no. In this age of smart phones and YouTube it’s pix (or vid clips)or it didnt happen.
September 19, 2012 at 10:08 pm
Steven (Wings) Weber is also on my “Two Broke Girls” episode as further identification. Stretch has the pix to show it happened
September 19, 2012 at 3:06 pm
Does the “clean” print have undies or black rectangles?
September 19, 2012 at 3:34 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 19, 2012 at 3:40 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 19, 2012 at 3:44 pm
I assumed that a “clean” print is one which is not signed and/or numbered. . .
September 19, 2012 at 3:50 pm
The extra two weeks for that is puzzling.
September 19, 2012 at 4:05 pm
They have to reassemble the team and somebody might have “trimmed the shrubbery” and needs time to grow it back.
September 19, 2012 at 8:11 pm
I figure the un-clean prints are covered in wine and the clean ones will take time to wash a dry. at least I hope it is wine that make them unclean
September 19, 2012 at 8:43 pm
I assume he’s already signed the one he printed, and it will be a couple of weeks before the shifts align and he can’t print another without his boss at Deck the Walls finding out.
September 20, 2012 at 6:23 pm
I always understood “clean print” to mean no watermark (though your guess is as good as mine as to why he needs that much turn-around time).
That being said, I don’t think there’s any way they can make that wine clean again…
September 19, 2012 at 9:06 pm
Take a breather, Art History 101. College is going to blow your mind in many more and much larger ways– get it under control now before it gets worse.
September 19, 2012 at 4:22 pm
I think it would have a rube goldberg contraption covering the naughty bits
September 19, 2012 at 4:32 pm
…or did you mean Pube Goldberg? (<—you see what I did there?)
September 20, 2012 at 11:39 am
I see it, I see it!
September 19, 2012 at 5:09 pm
I thought a clean print was one the seller hadn’t got too, erm, enthusiastic about yet.
September 19, 2012 at 6:49 pm
I assumed a “clean print” would not have wine stains or pubic hair stuck to it.
September 19, 2012 at 6:55 pm
No the “clean” print simply doesn’t have wine all over people’s bodies.
September 19, 2012 at 8:08 pm
I am such a dunce! I was wondering what the hell they had spilled on the pic and why would anyone not want it clean! I blame lack of sleep and lack of intoxication.
September 19, 2012 at 10:10 pm
no just a shot of penicillin
September 24, 2012 at 2:42 pm
The cleanest thing about this print is the fact that they didn’t get a drop of wine on the floor.
September 19, 2012 at 3:06 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 19, 2012 at 3:06 pm
this just makes me think of a cross between menstruation and holy communion, which is amazingly, unhappily wrong on every available level. And also, very Etsy.
September 19, 2012 at 3:15 pm
That’s because wine is usually darker than this. Looks like they were too cheap to use real wine, so they used Kool-Aid.
September 19, 2012 at 6:29 pm
Reminds me of Irish Rose. It was $2 for a bottle. It tasted like ass and rubbing alcohol with red food coloring added to it.
September 19, 2012 at 6:56 pm
i wouldn’t waste wine on a pubic prop. i’d drink the wine to get up the nerve to be IN the shot!
September 19, 2012 at 5:44 pm
They’d go nuts for it over at the Temple of Wombn, though.
September 19, 2012 at 3:08 pm
This is how I envision Lady Gaga’s wedding would go down.
September 19, 2012 at 3:21 pm
But there’s not a single piece of stupid headwear anywhere in that picture, and the one person who IS dressed looks more-or-less normal.
September 19, 2012 at 3:08 pm
I’d rather have a Pricasso if I’m going to hang any erotic art in my house. And why do I need to specifically ask for a clean copy? What did the photographer do to it?
September 19, 2012 at 4:19 pm
I don’t remember learning how to paint like that in MY highschool art classes! Unless maybe I missed that day.
September 20, 2012 at 1:54 am
I want to get married again, just to have a hen party and get Pricasso over. Course, I would really rather go to Australia myself, but hey – I have friends who would really, really appreciate him!
September 19, 2012 at 3:08 pm
It it just me or does the dude in this photo seem really out of place? It’s like, either be naked or wearing full bondage gear or something. He’s just wearing khakis??
September 19, 2012 at 3:11 pm
It was Casual Friday
September 19, 2012 at 3:12 pm
Consensual Friday.
September 20, 2012 at 4:40 am
Maybe it was “Take your dorky friend to work” day.
September 19, 2012 at 3:16 pm
That’s what gets me. You spend all this time setting up an artistic nude scene, and the dude looks like he just rolled in from Old Navy.
September 19, 2012 at 4:02 pm
The invitation said “Dress to Impress” and each person interprets that their own way.
September 19, 2012 at 10:19 pm
or Tiny Banana Republic. When the length of the banana is smaller than the width of the tatas pictured, you stay in your khakis
September 19, 2012 at 3:08 pm
wow. none of them want to be there. and he just hiked in from 1998.
September 19, 2012 at 10:21 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 19, 2012 at 3:08 pm
Although the wine is pleasantly passable, whatever you do, do NOT order the cheese plate.
September 19, 2012 at 4:21 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 19, 2012 at 10:04 pm
The cheese plate is ok. It’s the fondu you want to avoid.
September 19, 2012 at 10:22 pm
Isn’t yeast used in the fermentation process
September 19, 2012 at 11:31 pm
If they can do it from yeast found in beards, I suppose it could come from other places as well…
September 20, 2012 at 2:47 pm
Yes it is.
special yeast
September 19, 2012 at 3:09 pm
“This sommalier’s school is bullshit, man. I don’t believe any of these chicks have been to France.”
September 19, 2012 at 4:20 pm
“And box wine is so California.”
September 19, 2012 at 10:27 pm
FTW Zippy!!
September 19, 2012 at 3:10 pm
The “clean” print is still fully nude but they use white wine and the preppy dude takes whatever is causing the bulge out of his right pants pocket.
September 19, 2012 at 3:11 pm
He just looks really disappointed in them. Like their wine-pouring technique is just HORRIBLE or something. And why can’t the guy at least be topless if we’re going to be throwing nudity around? Not that I especially WANT to see him naked, but equality, you know.
September 19, 2012 at 5:01 pm
“I’m not drinking any fucking Merlot!”
September 19, 2012 at 3:11 pm
Who the fuck wears khakis in an erotic photo?
September 19, 2012 at 4:20 pm
One of the Romney sons?
September 19, 2012 at 4:22 pm
“Tagg! You’re it!”
“Awwwwww…”
September 19, 2012 at 3:11 pm
Three nude chicks, and booze, and that guy looks incredibly unimpressed. It is either a bad vintage or he’s just enthusiastic about nude women.
Probably both.
September 19, 2012 at 3:13 pm
I SWEAR TO GOD IT’S HIS PANTS.
It bothers me so much now. I’m beside myself.
September 19, 2012 at 5:59 pm
I think it’s a pocket knife. Maybe that IS blood that they’re pouring.
September 19, 2012 at 3:12 pm
I understand “Red Snapper” is what they call the girl holding the glass.
September 19, 2012 at 4:52 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 19, 2012 at 3:12 pm
He looks super awkward.
Like no-one told him it was going to be THAT sort of party and he’s wondering if he should take of his clothes, and wondering why he wore the underpants with Homer Simpson on them.
September 19, 2012 at 3:13 pm
Can’t wait for the next print in the series – Sushi made on her ass.
September 19, 2012 at 3:13 pm
And I thought Dr. Bronner’s peppermint wash irritated my junk. I’m burning just looking at this.
September 20, 2012 at 8:50 pm
That stuff is evil.
September 25, 2012 at 11:59 pm
…isn’t Dr. Bronner’s stuff super concentrated?
…aren’t you supposed to water it down before use?
Just Sayin’.
September 19, 2012 at 3:14 pm
They’ve clearly already aerated the wine in that pot. This is just blatantly inefficient.
September 19, 2012 at 8:57 pm
They have aerated the wine and now they are areolating it.
September 20, 2012 at 6:44 am
All of these puns are quite titillating.
September 19, 2012 at 3:15 pm
GODDAMIT I OPENED IT ANYWAY! DX
September 19, 2012 at 3:19 pm
There is nothing worse in life than naked women pouring wine down each other’s tits when you’re a gay teetotaler.
September 19, 2012 at 3:20 pm
I’m just glad to see they offer combined shipping.
September 19, 2012 at 4:12 pm
I though placenta was coming next, scrolled down and saw this. Great minds…
September 19, 2012 at 4:13 pm
Yeah, “great minds” but I can’t remember the fucking “t”
*thought
September 19, 2012 at 3:21 pm
That’s one way to add yeast to the must.
September 19, 2012 at 3:21 pm
I’m surprised at how clean the floor is below the wine-luge. The red head has a promising career as a living menstrual cup.
September 19, 2012 at 3:22 pm
I hope I am never in another situation where “living menstrual cup” fits perfectly into conversation.
September 19, 2012 at 3:22 pm
3 girls, 1 decanter.
September 19, 2012 at 3:28 pm
Chicks With Bricks.
September 19, 2012 at 4:07 pm
SoHo Ho’s
September 19, 2012 at 5:59 pm
Decanter or ewwwwwwer?
September 19, 2012 at 6:00 pm
Or dec*nter??
September 19, 2012 at 6:17 pm
Someone mentioned “Box wine” above… I think that wins.
September 20, 2012 at 2:04 am
and it should have more thumbs up by now
September 19, 2012 at 3:29 pm
Is it bad that my first thought was, “Dammit, that wine’s gonna stain the HELL outta that hardwood floor! Why didn’t they put down some plastic sheeting??”
Of course, my second thought was, “Yay! They aren’t using anorexic stick-figure models!”
September 19, 2012 at 4:17 pm
I am pleasantly surprised to see that at least they used women with normal looking bodies. No stick figures no giant silicone looking boobs…
September 20, 2012 at 2:06 am
Is that what normal looking women look like now? I have had The Gay so long its hard DIFFICULT to remember
September 20, 2012 at 4:45 am
You know, I’ve heard that there’s a method of “praying” The Gay away. I’m not sure if snake-handling is also involved, though.
September 20, 2012 at 8:21 pm
There was this big white snake at the Criminal Minds shoot I did Monday and everybody was going crazy about it. Whats the big deal I see a big white snake every time I go to the bathroom…
September 19, 2012 at 3:37 pm
I doubt this what he expected when he answered that personal ad on Craigslist.
September 19, 2012 at 3:42 pm
“For the next tasting may I present a full-bodied yet transparent red aged 28 days in a hand knit snood. Notice the slight khaki aftertaste.”
September 19, 2012 at 3:43 pm
Put a cork in it!
September 19, 2012 at 3:44 pm
I want to know why he’s wearing his muddy shoes in the house.
September 19, 2012 at 3:48 pm
Brought to you by Wookie Bush Wineries.
September 19, 2012 at 4:38 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 19, 2012 at 3:56 pm
I wonder how they serve Guinness.
[brain inserts mental image]
Damn it, brain! WTF is wrong with you?
September 19, 2012 at 4:55 pm
Just don’t ask how they mix their cocktails.
September 20, 2012 at 4:53 am
Guinness is more of an “ass-crack” beverage.
September 20, 2012 at 4:17 pm
GET OUT OF MY HEAD
September 19, 2012 at 4:14 pm
“Have you got anything besides Riohoohaw?”
September 19, 2012 at 4:20 pm
I dunno, I kinda like it. Her other prints are quirky too. It’s almost like she’s poking fun at the erotic art industry.
September 19, 2012 at 4:22 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 19, 2012 at 5:04 pm
This wine has legs,… and tits and a bajingo.
September 19, 2012 at 5:08 pm
Aaaand the cranberry juice I was just about to sip from is going back in the fridge.
September 19, 2012 at 5:11 pm
This is completely confusing to me.
Do people find this erotic? Or artistic?
It’s weird and has naked people in it… is that all it takes?
September 19, 2012 at 5:16 pm
As weird as it is, I love the idea of this one. Very cheeky:
September 19, 2012 at 8:28 pm
Me too.. I was laughing at some of these, I think she might be a fairly pro troll.
September 20, 2012 at 7:16 am
It looks like the girl in the background is offering him a stalk of brocolli.
September 19, 2012 at 6:18 pm
I’m pretty sure that’s supposed to be paired with white wine.
September 19, 2012 at 6:56 pm
It’s supposed to be wine and CHEESE, people, not wine and cheeseCAKE.
September 19, 2012 at 7:20 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 19, 2012 at 7:24 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 19, 2012 at 7:47 pm
It never ceases to amaze me that people think someone wants to by prints from their instagram feed for $20.
September 20, 2012 at 12:05 am
that was my thoughts.
Naked weird and awkward…sure that is the artist’s idea
but that they look like snap shots from a crappy camera just kills them for me
September 20, 2012 at 5:38 am
Yup I totally agree. The ideas are interesting, composition and photographic talent not so much.
September 19, 2012 at 8:13 pm
Is this a metaphor for periods? Does she need a hand-knitted organic cotton moon pad? Because I know a website..
September 19, 2012 at 9:51 pm
I think I recognize these 3 girls:
“Leg of sparrow, chartreuse lips
Essence that from Twi-tards drips
Pamela Anderson’s scraped-off scales
Gratuitous Nudity for Etsy sales
Dribble dribble, to bush from nipple
Hey Khaki Slacks, come have a tipple”
September 19, 2012 at 11:06 pm
“Where hast thou been, sister?”
“Swilling wine”
September 20, 2012 at 4:15 am
There are not enough up-thumbs for you.
September 20, 2012 at 4:17 am
Well at least we know it’s not pr0n, not one pair of clear acrylic heels.
September 20, 2012 at 4:50 am
It looks like the women brought wine, acid and sex to the party, and the dude showed up with some tax forms, gluten-free cookies and ear medicine.
September 22, 2012 at 10:37 pm
Not enough thumbs in the universe!
September 20, 2012 at 5:23 am
Yeah, the wine tasting does nothing for me, but her “Gnome Liberation Front” print is seriously turning me on.
I’ll be in my tiny bunk.
September 20, 2012 at 10:01 am
I think I know that gnome
September 20, 2012 at 8:25 pm
Travelocity out takes?!
September 20, 2012 at 7:17 am
This makes me think of the Curb Your Enthusiasm episode where Larry develops an annoying cough and goes to the doctor because he has a pube stuck in his throat.
September 20, 2012 at 8:59 am
Best running gag ever (cough)
September 20, 2012 at 7:25 am
vinum, urina est iterum?
September 20, 2012 at 8:10 am
It took me quite a while to figure out that the picture is what they are actually selling. Christ Almightly….
September 20, 2012 at 9:11 am
Aren’t we supposed to be offended that the women are nekkid and the man is fully clothed, à la Renoir? I can’t keep track anymore.
September 20, 2012 at 11:48 am
Look, Ma! Nobody is storming an embassy and killing people for this one!
September 20, 2012 at 12:07 pm
Regretsy, why is the mystery hate-spreading troll given to be male? XD Oh You.
September 20, 2012 at 12:09 pm
and what is up with posting this to the wrong thread entirely?!
More wine!
September 20, 2012 at 12:37 pm
Can I ask for a clean print a couple of weeks AFTER I receive it?
September 20, 2012 at 1:40 pm
Could somebody please photoshop them in a field and make the guy look like a skinny, annoyed Bacchus? I feel this would make great Greek-inspired fuckery.
September 20, 2012 at 3:03 pm
The look on that guys face says, *sigh* “this is what I get for moving in with an ‘artist’, when the fucker can’t pay his rent shit gets weird and my wine get pubes.”
September 20, 2012 at 5:04 pm
Quaffable, but far from transcendent.
Looking through her shop she’s got some stuff that’s really very good. I’d have to wait till the kid’s out of the house, but I would hang quite a few of them up.
September 20, 2012 at 6:46 pm
This screams Game of Thrones to me for some reason. Gratuitous amounts of boobage with wine maybe? Wouldn’t be surprised to see a scene like this added in Season 3…
September 23, 2012 at 8:31 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.