244 comments on Still More Women with Stupid Shit on Their Heads
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September 18, 2012 at 9:35 am
That first girl emphatically does NOT look like she “loves quirky accessories”.
September 18, 2012 at 9:36 am
she doesn’t look like she enjoys life in general
September 18, 2012 at 9:39 am
Well, would you really be able to manage much enthusiasm after you’d just eaten a pack of highlighter pens?
September 18, 2012 at 11:17 am
daisyj, I wish i could give you 20 thumbs up! I all but lost my breath laughing! Comment of the day quality!
September 19, 2012 at 9:20 am
She? Cute young man.
September 18, 2012 at 9:44 am
Well at least you know she has a strong neck, what with that elephant on her head.
September 18, 2012 at 1:06 pm
*elepant
September 18, 2012 at 2:15 pm
She has more than that on her head. This one seems to have taken this category to heart.
September 18, 2012 at 6:56 pm
Nice blending of the eyebrows!
September 18, 2012 at 10:06 pm
Is that a Polly Pocket up in that “thing” on her head? Someone really, really loathes her.
September 18, 2012 at 10:08 am
I think she… [whispers] has thrown up bile in her mouth a little.
September 18, 2012 at 10:17 am
Are talking about the girl with the bile all over her lips?
September 18, 2012 at 12:17 pm
I thought we were talking about e girl with baby poo on her lips.
September 18, 2012 at 1:46 pm
They all look like they’re pissed off to have their photo taken with stupid shit on their heads. Except the horse. The horse is like “Yeah, I have this felt puke on my head. And?”
September 18, 2012 at 5:07 pm
God I seriously thought she was Mr Bean when I first glanced at this bag of crazy
October 7, 2012 at 12:14 am
Holy crap! I know this girl! Shes actually a really fantastic person and absolutely doesn’t take her odd headdresses seriously. She does dress like this every single day though, but at least she’s not trying to sell shit she wouldn’t actually wear.
September 18, 2012 at 9:36 am
Shove your head up a koala’s anus?
FASHION!
September 18, 2012 at 6:49 pm
For $500 that koala had better be alive when it arrives.
September 18, 2012 at 9:36 am
I believe the giraffe also has stupid shit on it’s head. Bonus stupid shit on a head of stupid shit on a head.
September 18, 2012 at 10:02 am
Headshitception?
September 18, 2012 at 10:03 am
The giraffe also has stupid shit on it’s arse.
September 18, 2012 at 10:04 am
apostrophe hell
September 18, 2012 at 10:10 am
No, the giraffe has stupid shit under it’s feet!
September 18, 2012 at 1:09 pm
Yo dawg, we heard …
September 18, 2012 at 3:18 pm
That concept is exponentially shitty.
September 18, 2012 at 9:37 am
Tomorrow’s headlines: Mad Cat Lady Found Dead, Believed Gored By Knitted Unicorn
September 18, 2012 at 10:44 am
If someone tried to strap a pink penis hat to my cats head he would rip their face off. The cat in that photo is extremely tolerant . Or drugged.
September 18, 2012 at 10:51 am
Actually…he looks to me like he’s about to rip the photographer’s face off. So thumbs-up to you!
P.S. I feel so BOLD today.
September 18, 2012 at 2:38 pm
Never mind the cat ripping off my face (which would also happen), my horse would kick me in the teeth and then stomp on my guts for good measure if I tried to put ANY hat on him!
September 18, 2012 at 10:55 am
I vote for tolerant. I have one cat that would purr while wearing this, one that would take it off within 5 seconds, and one that would rip your face off for even THINKING of putting a hat on her.
The third one has all her accessories photoshopped on for the annual holiday card.
September 18, 2012 at 12:44 pm
is the third one black by chance?
September 18, 2012 at 2:03 pm
It overall reminded me of this comic:
http://nerf-this.com/wild-and-free/
So your comment about the penis/vibrator headpiece was exactly what I was thinking.
September 18, 2012 at 11:22 am
I hope the
kittehkitty is plotting. I’d hate to think his spirit is broken by Crazy Hat Lady.September 18, 2012 at 2:36 pm
Aka Crazy Cat Hat Lady
September 18, 2012 at 6:35 pm
Oh he is. Let’s just say she’s going to be in for a big surprise when she wakes up tomorrow with a mutilated unicorn hat in bed next to her.
September 18, 2012 at 9:37 am
Wow. Not even I would wear any of these.
And considering my past comments on past posts like this, we all know I’m the target market for this bullshit.
September 18, 2012 at 9:54 am
I actually kind of like the horse hat. Maybe.
September 18, 2012 at 10:13 am
No. No. There is better out there.
I’m just impressed that there’s been a hat or two I’d actually buy or wear in every episode of this so far – except this one.
I really like ridiculous hats and nothing here passes muster. It’s just… weird by the numbers, no actual creativity, artistry or genuine strangeness involved. A cynical attempt at quirky rather than producing something gloriously, beautifully insane.
Except for that cat hat, but anyone who puts a unicorn hat on a cat is asking to lose their face in the middle of the night.
September 18, 2012 at 10:37 am
My dogs get dressed up for Halloween, it’s a thing we do, dress up and enter costume contests (we have ALWAYS placed) So, someone found out I have cats and I was asked, “Why don’t you do this with your cats too?”
My reply: “Because I don’t want to be suffocated in my sleep.”
September 18, 2012 at 11:20 am
You only get away with playing dress with the cat if you are under ten years old.
September 18, 2012 at 10:09 pm
So, would that be that be “The Hat in the Cat” or should be “The Hat Soon to Be in the Human Who Angered the Cat”?
September 18, 2012 at 10:52 am
If you buy a horse that hat, you have to rename it “Mrs. Darjeeling” and refer to its headwear as its “Sunday-go-to-meetin’ outfit.” Also, it must be your partner for the ladies’ bridge night you will never get invited back to.
September 18, 2012 at 2:29 pm
One minute you’re defending the whole galaxy, and, suddenly, you find yourself sucking down Darjeeling with Marie Antoinette… and her little sister.
September 18, 2012 at 3:13 pm
I’m so glad you got where I was going with that.
September 18, 2012 at 8:02 pm
I heart you all. I always crack up at that scene.
September 18, 2012 at 9:37 am
Kitty unicorn my ass. That’s a strap-on meant for, uh…pussies.
I’m sorry. I had to.
September 18, 2012 at 9:42 am
You’re not alone, a strap on was my first thought too.
September 18, 2012 at 9:43 am
This is why I love reading the comments on here
September 18, 2012 at 10:24 am
I feel much better knowing there are at least 2 other pervs out there who had the same thought as I did.
September 18, 2012 at 10:38 am
Three, there are three. Of course, it probably doesn’t help that the horn is a fleshy pink color. ^_^;;;
September 18, 2012 at 10:52 am
Four.
September 18, 2012 at 11:46 am
Oh, it’s way more than four. Who didn’t think it looks like a penis hat?
September 18, 2012 at 1:07 pm
heck even people walking by my cubicle think it’s a penis hat.
September 18, 2012 at 2:27 pm
Anyone?
*crickets chirping*
Didn’t think so.
September 18, 2012 at 11:59 am
I think we’ve reached a quorum.
September 18, 2012 at 10:06 am
At least they made the kitty head-dildo soft otherwise the revenge-poking would really hurt. It would happen while you slept so the cat could reach your eye.
September 18, 2012 at 9:38 am
I wish I had a cat to
tortureaccessorizeSeptember 18, 2012 at 10:11 am
I have three.
And all three would definitely kill me slowly in my sleep if I attemtped this.
September 18, 2012 at 10:54 am
Four. I have four.
I have four of a lot of things.
And yes, they’d all kill me if I strapped a dildo to their heads.
September 18, 2012 at 12:49 pm
kittys are such a joy!
September 18, 2012 at 10:18 am
I have contected the seller to see if she will make one for my dog for Halloween. Much better than the witches hat I had planned…..
September 18, 2012 at 10:49 am
If she doesn’t, I may be able to. Not knitted though, probably fleece. I’m pretty good at dog costuming. http://www.flickr.com/photos/17648366@N03/sets/72157602863283800/
September 18, 2012 at 10:57 am
In every shot, the mortification is so evident in their eyes…except for the dragon costume. The bernard seems to really be enjoying that one (and who wouldn’t?)
September 18, 2012 at 11:09 am
I would say it’s more exhaustion than mortification, most of these were taken after staying up all night getting them done (The one of Delilah, the Saint, in the Native American costume, she literally fell asleep sitting up and fell over right after the picture was taken) And believe or not, the black dog (Sham) likes to wear clothes. He doesn’t get too very often because I think he would look silly, but he does like them. (It’s okay to look silly for Halloween, IMO)
September 18, 2012 at 11:33 am
Your dog costumes are really cute. My sister in law does this every year. All of us look forward to her Christmas cards every year. A couple of years ago she made and sold calenders with the photos to help pay for her dog’s surgery.
September 18, 2012 at 11:58 am
My doberman used to love to wear clothes. come winter, he usually got his wish with a fleece jacket when the temperatures dropped.
We made him a ninja one year for Halloween, and he LOVED it.
September 19, 2012 at 4:20 am
Pictures! I need to see a ninja doberman!
September 19, 2012 at 4:22 am
I love Sham as a little 1920s mobster and as a samurai.
September 19, 2012 at 8:12 am
Oh wow! You are officially awesome. I usually have to explain what he’s dressed up as. I loved the mobster and flapper girl costumes, though Sham’s hat was hard to make.
September 18, 2012 at 11:43 am
The cat in Sham’s photos is clearly thinking “thank the feline goddess I’m not a dog…”
September 18, 2012 at 1:57 pm
Delilah looks quite fetching in her Indian Maiden costume!
September 19, 2012 at 6:32 am
Love the knight and the dragon! Methinks ‘twould be fun to
tormentdress my dogs as such.Too bad I would never get them to sit still long enough to get anything on them.
September 19, 2012 at 11:20 am
Thank you. I was lucky with Sham, with him already liking to be dressed. Delilah was so even-tempered, she let me do whatever. Since this is an annual production with us, when Delilah died, I made sure to expose her successor to clothes. The other dog, Kairi (geisha and Prince Charming’s horse) I made sure to dress her every so often so she would be used to it, just every few days, I put a shirt on her for an hour or so, gave her some treats, and then took it off. It worked great, she’s really good about wearing the costumes.
September 18, 2012 at 10:33 am
You also need a really good health insurance policy, because most of these adventures end up with a trip to the emergency room.
September 18, 2012 at 9:38 am
That first woman needs a serious style intervention. The stupid shit on her head is the least of her problems.
September 18, 2012 at 10:04 am
Looks like she needs anti-depressants first.
I’ve always been told that green lipstick is a silent cry for help.
September 18, 2012 at 10:15 am
I personally love when I can match my shirt to my lipstick. Best I can do is just walk around nude though.
September 18, 2012 at 10:58 am
I don’t have a problem with that
September 18, 2012 at 12:15 pm
Winning at coordinating!
September 18, 2012 at 1:53 pm
Agreed. I’m less worried about the plastic giraffe and more about the radioactive mold that seems to be growing on her mouth.
September 18, 2012 at 9:39 am
That looks like part of a real koala, set on fire at some point toward the end of its life.
September 18, 2012 at 10:14 am
I said “The stove needs more coal, Ollie”!
September 18, 2012 at 9:39 am
I used to think ballet fucking pink was the stupidest, most unattractive lip color ever. I also believed that chartreuse yellow lip paint wasn’t actually a thing.
Two illusions shattered on a Tuesday morning in one swell foop. That DEMANDS liquor.
September 18, 2012 at 9:39 am
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September 18, 2012 at 9:44 am
No. No. There are much better examples of ridiculous headwear out there. That just looks like you’ve shoved your head up a dead Koala.
2.5/10, at best.
(Yours, a connossieur of ridiculous hats)
September 18, 2012 at 10:16 am
No, it is NOT fabulous! Haven’t koalas suffered enough bad press lately, with that One Direction dipshit accusing one of our beloved marsupials of giving him chlamydia?
And now some girl has her head up one’s ass!? Ohhhhh, maybe THAT’S how it gave him chlamydia!
September 18, 2012 at 10:30 am
You have me intrigued with this whole Unidirectional Chlamydia thing. Must check internet for veracity. Too good to be true.
September 18, 2012 at 10:32 am
Oh my… finding a HuffPo article on it is like Christmas!
September 18, 2012 at 1:53 pm
OK, now I need need NEED to google 1 direction koala chlamydia. And I stand by the fabulousness of the koala hat. It even has eucalyptus, which means I am right, because eucalyptus wins. It’s a rule.
September 19, 2012 at 9:11 am
Aw, ducks, I liked the koala, too. Red thumbs for us.
September 18, 2012 at 9:39 am
I’ll give the giraffe girl one thing…at least her bizarre headpiece isn’t *grossly* overpriced. It’s like she’s saying, “Yeah, okay, this shit is weird. And I’m wearing yellow lipstick. And for absolutely no fucking reason there is a giraffe on my head. But, come on. Do you really think I’d try to sell this for more than $30?? I may be a fucking freak show, but I’m not crazy.” And I like that about her.
September 18, 2012 at 9:39 am
Oh, God, the look in that horse’s eye. What else but that hat could make a horse pine for the glue factory?
September 18, 2012 at 10:05 am
As long as it isn’t pining for the fjords.
September 18, 2012 at 10:59 am
I do so love a good MPFC reference
September 18, 2012 at 9:41 am
Marina Abramovic just called to say that you are doing it completely wrong, and she sobbingly apologized to the rest of the world.
September 18, 2012 at 9:41 am
A fucking floor plan worn on your face? How did that get past the drunk/high idea phase?
Even Mies Van Der Rohe wasn’t THAT pretentious.
September 18, 2012 at 9:47 am
Who is John Galt?
(Spoken in the form of an answer.)
September 18, 2012 at 10:58 am
I dunno. [shrugs] Who.
September 18, 2012 at 2:04 pm
*beepbeepbeep*
Alex: The correct response is, “Who is Harold Roark?”
September 18, 2012 at 9:54 am
Le Corbusier was that pretentious.
September 18, 2012 at 5:10 pm
being able to see out of both eyes is so mainstream…
September 18, 2012 at 9:42 am
honestly, though, the horse one is kind of cute/funny…but probably not to the horse
September 18, 2012 at 10:08 am
It could be funny to the people watching as the person who put it on the horse then tries to ride the horse while the horse then discovers that the HORSE EATING THING on its head isn’t going away
September 18, 2012 at 10:51 am
We used to put gloves on our horses ears. Made him look lima a baby moose.
September 18, 2012 at 10:59 am
You left auto-correct on.
September 18, 2012 at 9:30 pm
and I think the horse wins most sane looking model
September 18, 2012 at 9:43 am
Who else thinks the girl in photo #1 lost a bet?
September 18, 2012 at 1:16 pm
If you look at the rest of the shop, you’ll see she appears to have lost several bets.
September 18, 2012 at 9:44 am
“Does your cat love wearing crocheted hard-ons on its head?”
September 18, 2012 at 10:23 am
I’ve noticed that whenever you strap or otherwise attach anything to a cat it goes through kitty paroxysms of utter joy.
September 18, 2012 at 11:56 am
Or it freezes. I once had the brilliant idea to take my cat for a walk on a lease. I put the harness on him, carried him outside, set him down and gently pulled on the lease. He stood stock still and then, as I gently encouraged him to walk with me, he fell over. After that, we called it taking the cat for a drag.
September 18, 2012 at 12:03 pm
So when the lease is up, you have to return the cat? What are the monthly payments on a cat lease?
September 18, 2012 at 12:17 pm
I sometimes crack myself up. What an idiot!
September 18, 2012 at 12:24 pm
I was hoping that you just misspelled, and weren’t from some country where “lease” actually IS how you spell “leash” and I would be the asshole all over again. I’m usually the asshole when I don’t know any of the historically “classic” regretsy things or when I’m unaware of common internet jokes (this happens weekly).
September 18, 2012 at 12:34 pm
I’m a long time lurker but I’ve always loved the Matt and Zippy show
September 18, 2012 at 1:03 pm
Zip- since we apparently have a “show”, I think we should eventually have a very public falling out, not trade jokes for like a year or two, and then host a triumphant comeback live from Hawaii with dancers, robots, lazerbeams, Rob White, Bea Arthur, Webster, Alf, etc.
WE’LL MAKE MILLIONS, MAN!!!!!!
September 18, 2012 at 2:34 pm
Let’s plan it for the Worldwide Regretsy Meetup “Petapalooza IV” in Hawaii. We’ll approach each other across the ballroom, go for our gift bag knives, then laugh and do a dance with April ala Romy and Michelle. Don’t tell anyone!
September 18, 2012 at 5:19 pm
If you produce Bea Arthur you will make millions because I think she is dead. Produce Elvis while you’re at it you will make billions.
September 18, 2012 at 12:23 pm
You’re really better off paying full price for a used cat than leasing a new one. I know you’d miss that new kitten smell and the high-performance but until cats start making themselves or falling out of trees, what are you going to do?
September 18, 2012 at 12:25 pm
FACT: Cats lose 50% of their value when you walk them off the lot.
September 18, 2012 at 12:30 pm
Drag them off the lot
September 18, 2012 at 12:34 pm
They walk until you get them off the lot, where they begin the resistance and you’re forced to drag. That’s why they lose 50% of their value.
September 18, 2012 at 12:27 pm
Leasing a litter box is an awesome decision, however. Who wants to OWN a box of shit?
September 18, 2012 at 12:31 pm
If only the warranty covered scooping
September 18, 2012 at 3:24 pm
People who buy from Etsy sellers like these.
September 18, 2012 at 3:57 pm
If you make a living gluing shit to other shit you need a warehouse.
September 18, 2012 at 4:33 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 18, 2012 at 9:44 am
Now let’s try imagining where they are going in these:
#1: Job interview
#2: Seance.
#3: Auto show.
#4: Optometry school exam.
#5: Walmart.
#6: To kill.
#7: Glue factory.
September 18, 2012 at 10:25 am
#5 could also be Voodoo ceremony
September 18, 2012 at 11:02 am
#1: SSDI Eligibility Evaluation
September 18, 2012 at 11:03 am
That is a lot more fun than the real world answer, which would be more like
#1: Halloween party.
#2: Halloween party
#3: Halloween party
#4: Halloween party
#5: Halloween party
#6: Halloween party
#7: Halloween party
September 18, 2012 at 12:34 pm
#1: Pantone Convention
#2: Dingo-hunting blind
#3: Breaking into a car
#4: Planking in Atlantic City
#5: Thanksgiving in Japan
#6: To kill
#7: To a bridle shower
September 18, 2012 at 12:47 pm
Ethel looked so much like a horse, no-one thought she would ever get married.
September 19, 2012 at 4:58 am
A big thumbs-up for you, just for “Pantone convention”.
September 18, 2012 at 5:40 pm
I’ve got what each model is thinking:
#1: YOU WILL TAKE ME SERIOUSLY, DAMMIT!
#2: Wow, I sure hope nobody saw me pass out here… Is there something on my head?
#3: What? Is there something on my head?
#4: Being able to see out of both eyes is so mainstream…
#5: Only a real man can wear a wolf-turky hat muthafucka!
#6: Be patient… she has to sleep sometime…
#7: Is there something on my head? There is, isn’t there?
September 18, 2012 at 9:44 am
How does one with that color lipstick and those flowers and that giraffe on one’s head STILL LOOK SO PISSED OFF? Damn angry hipster head-crap wearer.
September 18, 2012 at 9:46 am
If I was wearing that outfit I’d look so gleeful you couldn’t imagine. What’s the point in dressing like a mad person if you don’t enjoy it?
September 18, 2012 at 9:52 am
Exactly!
September 18, 2012 at 9:52 am
Someone needs to turn her into a meme. YELLOW LIPSTICK GIRL IS NOT IMPRESSED. She needs to be observing various points in history. The storming of the Bastille, the sinking of the Titanic, etc…
September 18, 2012 at 10:27 am
Yellow lipstick will jam a toy giraffe up your ass if you so much as snicker.
September 18, 2012 at 11:05 am
I had to leave “girl” out so I could use it on LeeLoo’s comment, below.
September 18, 2012 at 11:27 am
September 18, 2012 at 11:35 am
September 18, 2012 at 9:47 am
Until now I’d never seen an accessory for a horse that made it look totally unintelligent. What an odd concept that is.
September 18, 2012 at 10:06 am
Like, I’ve seen “dumb” looking horses on cartoons, but never a horse in real life that appears to be a moron. It’s the hat. Otherwise, it would be a beautiful horse. But nope.
September 18, 2012 at 10:13 am
There is this: Horse in pink
September 18, 2012 at 10:14 am
September 18, 2012 at 10:16 am
“One day I will break free. One day. And then the pink will deepend. To red. Blood red. Yes. Soon.”
I’ve never seen a horse with a thousand yard stare before.
September 18, 2012 at 10:19 am
See, in this case, the horse looks smarter than her. Embarrassed, but smarter.
September 18, 2012 at 10:20 am
I hope she was charged with animal cruelty!
Oh fuck, even it’s HOOVES are fucking PINK! So wrong!
September 18, 2012 at 11:14 am
Now, you, too, can dress up your horsie like Barbie’s stiff plastic mount! (Not Ken, the other one.)
Yes, this is the business website of the Katie a.k.a. Jordan in the photo above.
http://www.kpequestrian.com/
September 18, 2012 at 10:30 am
The blanket was fine. Pink hooves? Bad but not worth kicking over. The fur-trimmed pink leggings? Stop – trample time.
September 18, 2012 at 11:06 am
I like the pink pitchfork. Haying – not just for men any more!
September 18, 2012 at 12:35 pm
That’s for pitching “Haaaaaaaaay!”
September 18, 2012 at 12:15 pm
The pink leggings on the horse in the photo are polo wraps and quite common in use. Pink is not my color of choise, but meh? To each his own. The blanket doesn’t fit or it would be closed in the front.
Looks like Katie is hoping someone would grab the whip next to the pitchfork and spank her with it. Ooooh…
September 18, 2012 at 12:51 pm
The leggings on the pony are actually polo wraps and quite common. Pink is not my color of choice, but whatevs.
I wonder if Katie is hoping someone picks up her dressage whip (next to the pitchfork) and spanks her with it?
September 18, 2012 at 1:42 pm
She must really hate that horse to embarrass it like that.
September 18, 2012 at 1:46 pm
My response to women like this is, “Oh, give it a rest. You think you’re the hottest, girliest girl in tits, we get it.”
September 18, 2012 at 9:47 am
The Grinch should file with Etsy for copyright infringement by the “Renovar” lady.
September 18, 2012 at 9:53 am
It’s nice to know I’m not the only person who thought that.
September 18, 2012 at 9:49 am
No one and I mean no one – not the woman who got into the cleaning supplies, the woman who is obviously the illegitimate love child of Edie Sedgwick and THX-1138, the post-modern pirate, or even the cat or the horse – appears to be enjoying themselves.
September 18, 2012 at 9:52 am
The “Mama Wolf” guy seems to be anticipating something fun, like maybe they promised him a pizza party if he let them put that thing on his head.
September 18, 2012 at 10:23 am
Hehehe, I think “Mama Wolf” is seriously baked, man! He would have worn the fucking giraffe on his head AND the green lippy for a crack at a pizza I reckon!
September 18, 2012 at 11:00 am
The best part is, I read the title as meaning, “when you wear this, you will then be able to more effectively hit on women who would appreciate being called ‘mama wolf.’” And that completely explains the photo.
September 18, 2012 at 2:10 pm
“..love child of Edie Sedgwick and THX-1138..” I think I love you…..
September 18, 2012 at 9:50 am
Good news, everyone!
There’s a Farnsworth house!
September 18, 2012 at 10:33 am
Hugo, girl!
September 18, 2012 at 10:38 am
Is the floorplan eyepatch for house-invasion pirates so they can find their way around in the dark?
September 18, 2012 at 11:07 am
And then use it to make a plank for walking?
September 18, 2012 at 11:28 am
It’s their escape route in 3-D, so they don’t forget.
September 18, 2012 at 12:41 pm
It sure keeps the user from seeing 3D so I guess it makes up for it? I mean, if I strap this on I’d have trouble seeing where I’m going. Well, WOODEN EYE???
September 18, 2012 at 12:54 pm
I think that floor plan face thing would be a great disguise for a bank robber. If someone came up to me in something that crazy, I would give them everything in my possession, no problem.
September 18, 2012 at 9:50 am
The Artist with the Upcycled Sculpture Art has had her Classroom Globe stolen.
September 18, 2012 at 9:51 am
OK, I can sorta see how someone (read: not me) might wear this shit for fun, say for a show or for hardcore binge drinking, but I am having trouble with how serious their faces are (at least on the human models). Come on, this is not couture. I just can’t abide. If you’re gonna wear something ridiculous on your head, at least have the decency to appear madder than a hatter.
September 18, 2012 at 9:54 am
When someone in Finland annoying thing so much, it is said, “To grow a dick on the forehead” Kasvattaa kyrpä otsaan.
September 18, 2012 at 10:19 am
Petja, you make me want to learn Finnish so badly.
September 18, 2012 at 11:27 am
Beat me to it, Petja – forgive me, little pussy, but when I saw that hat all I could think was “dildo head.” Poor kitty.
September 18, 2012 at 12:08 pm
What is the difference,
whether the politician dick?
whether a politician dildo?
September 18, 2012 at 12:43 pm
Either way, you are fucked.
September 18, 2012 at 1:21 pm
Dick have a personality.
September 18, 2012 at 12:16 pm
I think it’s hilarious. And really people, a DICK!?!?
Short, pointy and pink…!?!?
Haha please go see a doctor if you’re (sic) dick looks like that!
September 18, 2012 at 12:57 pm
The blue balls seem appropriate, though
September 18, 2012 at 9:57 am
I don’t know, I think that horse felted hat might get some studs into the stable, but the one with all the feathers is ridiculous, something the pre-school makes at Thanksgiving type thing!
September 18, 2012 at 9:58 am
I’m honored that Petja is on top of me!
September 18, 2012 at 10:15 am
We all long for Petja on top of us.
September 18, 2012 at 11:04 am
well…
September 18, 2012 at 12:33 pm
He always Finnishes first.
September 18, 2012 at 10:01 am
OK, brilliant idea. Make a head thingie with a doll head with its own head thingie with a smaller doll head that has a head thingie with a smaller doll head…just keep going. I would love to see that. Someone make one.
September 18, 2012 at 10:02 am
At least the giraffe is placed in something resembling its natural habitat. Otherwise, it would just look silly.
September 18, 2012 at 10:04 am
At least stupid shit on heads is not gender or species exclusive, yay progressivism!
September 18, 2012 at 10:04 am
To run through them all:
Girl #1 looks like she’s about to slap the person who made this. Or whoever forced her to use that stupid shade of lipstick.
Girl #2 looks embarrassed, has a sort of “doing something stupid as a favor for a friend” air.
Girl #3 simply looks mortified.
Girl #4 looks sad and resigned. Is she a victim of abuse? Does that freaky head thing cover a black eye?
The guy looks stoned.
The cat looks furious.
The horse looks hungry.
September 18, 2012 at 10:40 am
It’s the first time I think I’ve seen this many things where none of the “artists” had themselves modelling the art-rocities. The cat’s ready to perform some additional artistry on its, though.
September 18, 2012 at 10:06 am
Frightently enough, I could see a few of those on runway models. I like quirky and weird, and sometimes I wish I had that gaunt runway model look that seems to be able to pull off a lot of weird… but then I remember that I like food, and I’m about 6 inches too short for the runway. As much as I like the quirky look, I’d also to look a least a little bit sane. Clearly I don’t understand fashion At All.
September 18, 2012 at 10:06 am
bleh – “frighteningly”
September 18, 2012 at 10:10 am
Etsy hats make mammals sad.
September 18, 2012 at 10:10 am
That cat is plotting some serious upholstery revenge. You can see it on his face. This is the “Before” image. “After” will be the bareheaded cat sitting calmly, licking a paw, next to a hill of sofa-colored mulch topped with a wad of pastel yarn.
September 18, 2012 at 10:12 am
Now that I think about it, pic #3 gives me a Halloween costume idea. Person who was killed by a falling chandelier.
September 18, 2012 at 10:16 am
“This wolf headpiece was completely handcrafted using wire, batting, felt, AND OF COURSE, FEATHERS.”
Is this a new thing? Why do “wolf” themed things require FEATHERS? They say it like “Duh! Of course there’s feathers! It’s a wolf, remember?”
September 18, 2012 at 11:08 am
I think what they mean is that you can plainly see the feathers and, so, it’s obvious.
But then again, you know, spirit wolves ALL have feathers, DUH!
*don’t they?*
September 18, 2012 at 12:11 pm
Damn. That was going to be my comment so I had to scroll through all of them thus far to see if anyone else had said it. Curse you, Matt Johnson, for thinking the same thing I was!
September 18, 2012 at 1:15 pm
This will definitely be the first time I’ve ever said “Sorry, Old Sperm Bank”.
September 18, 2012 at 10:20 am
Is it just me, or does the guy with the faux-wolf-peacock on his head look like the young, stoned, and obviously mentally disturbed cousin of Nicolas Cage?
September 18, 2012 at 10:22 am
You’re right. I think it’s Derek Cage.
September 18, 2012 at 4:01 pm
I think that he looks like a biker who had a high-speed collision with a turkey.
September 18, 2012 at 10:21 am
I don’t know what you people are complaining about. Most of those hats are not only stylish, but practical. For example, after the great Koala Up-rising coming Dec 20th, (check your Mayan calendar.) you’ll want to blend in. Koalas are vicious, but they are not that bright.
Or that art hat. Let’s stay that you are on the high seas, and your modern GPS craps out. Just align the the tallest prong with the North Star and face the rising moon. Then it’s just a few quick measurements and calculus equations and you know both your latitude and longitude.
And let’s say you are annoyed that you have depth perception and wish the world was flat. Then farnsworth fence eye-patch/hatch is perfect for you.
And the wolf hat is perfect if you want to piss off native americans while trivializing their culture, all while keeping your hipster credentials.
September 18, 2012 at 10:35 am
OH MY GOD I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH THE FIRST GIRL!
Really though. I remember because she wore a flower in her hair every day and talked really slowly to the German exchange students.
September 18, 2012 at 11:09 am
LOL, please tell me this is true
September 18, 2012 at 11:26 am
She’s also a dead ringer for my second-cousin Charles, a.k.a. “Chip.”
September 18, 2012 at 10:36 am
Just remember to save the first picture for your post “Women With Stupid Shit on Their Lips”
September 18, 2012 at 10:37 am
I am rather infamous in extremely small an obscure circles as an aficionado of “funny hats”. And I would not wear any of these. Not on a bet. (Well a LARGE bet. With at least 5 zeroes)
September 18, 2012 at 11:26 am
I’ll bet you $.000001 that you just lost a bet.
September 18, 2012 at 12:46 pm
Just take penny now and adjust for the next few years of inflation.
September 18, 2012 at 1:28 pm
You know I’ll just blow that penny on fast living, Zippy.
Do they sell single Werther’s Originals, or do you have to buy the whole bag?
September 18, 2012 at 10:38 am
I’ve become so used to seeing all this stuff that I was more interested in trying to determine whether or not the horse should actually be classified as a pony. That is what my life has come to here.
September 18, 2012 at 10:40 am
I want to know where the first seller buys her lipstick. I’ve never seen puke green lipstick before.
September 18, 2012 at 11:11 am
Try here
September 18, 2012 at 12:22 pm
Found it.
http://www.utrechtart.com/Liquitex-Heavy-Body-Acrylic-Paint–Brilliant-Yellow-Green-MP45840-i1002281.utrecht
September 18, 2012 at 2:49 pm
I used to have a Gremlin in that color…I loved that car. Maybe I’ll paint my Volvo…
September 18, 2012 at 10:41 am
“As a safety note !! Please be kind to your pet. Not all animals enjoy being dressed up. If your cat is one of them, do not stress your cat out by forcing him/her to wear something they do not want to wear. Limit dress up time to special occasions only and short periods of time. Always make sure kitty is supervised while wearing any items.”
And always have a safe word.
September 18, 2012 at 11:11 am
Does *tail thrash* “wrrrrrrrrrr” count?
September 18, 2012 at 10:52 am
Pic #2. The poor koala died during a breech birth.
Pic #4. She was the first to pass out, so her friends glued her forehead to the floor. Later they decided to sell it as a hat to fund the next beer run.
September 18, 2012 at 11:13 am
$500 dollars to stretch out the back end of a koala bear seems pretty reasonable to me, as long as she’s charging for the whole night. Koala Bear Hookers: they are a real thing; cute, cuddly and riddled with herpes.
I think my optometrist would love the stylish Popsicle stick eye patch. Eye exams can be fashionable and fun!
September 18, 2012 at 11:14 am
Well, that would explain why the horse has such a long face.
*ba-dum ching*
September 18, 2012 at 11:58 am
ching? I think your cymbal has a crack in it. I’m enjoying the veal, however.
September 18, 2012 at 11:28 am
Scrolled all the way to the bottom in eager anticipation of photoshop fuckery with some of these hats. You people are a great disappointment today.
September 18, 2012 at 11:43 am
It’s an odd day here on regretsy.
September 18, 2012 at 1:26 pm
I would hate for you to be disappointed.
WARHOL WOULD CRY
September 18, 2012 at 1:30 pm
It actually has a nice Carmen Miranda vibe when you do it like that.
September 18, 2012 at 1:41 pm
That’s really quite beautiful.
September 18, 2012 at 2:35 pm
Thank you both! I think maybe even the shop owner herself might like it!
September 18, 2012 at 2:52 pm
Now I want a banana.
September 18, 2012 at 12:20 pm
The first gal is clearly trying to follow the rule about achieving balance through emphasis using makeup. Her eyebrows, while magnificent on their own, would otherwise completely take over her face were it not for the lime green lipstick and the giraffe on her head. At a certain point though, she needs to ask herself at what point she should consider some eyeliner, shadow, and mascara, to bring her eyes back out. Then, of course, at a certain point she will have accentuated all of her facial features to such an extent that her head will simply disappear behind it, or, better yet, she can just become a living Mrs. Potatohead doll.
September 18, 2012 at 4:47 pm
Honestly, the makeup fail in these examples is as bad as the crazy hats. #3 and #4 look pretty bad too.
September 19, 2012 at 5:06 am
Well, she does say “coordinates with many colours”. And just wants to prove that MANY does not equal ALL.
September 18, 2012 at 12:28 pm
I think I need a Pinterest folder/ board for “Stuff that made me laugh out loud”. The cat unicorne still brings tears to my eyes!
September 18, 2012 at 12:31 pm
If there were ever to be a “regretsy commenter meet n’ greet”, I would think that these ridiculous hats would be mandatory attire.
September 18, 2012 at 12:33 pm
So disappointed to read the description. I was thinking, “I want that, MY cat is a dickhead, too!
September 18, 2012 at 12:52 pm
Giraffe-Head at least proves that the Toxic Avenger is still getting some love.
September 18, 2012 at 3:32 pm
I SO want to see what revenge that cat perpetrated. I can tell it’s plotting something really sadistic in that photo.
September 18, 2012 at 3:46 pm
I’d wear the headband before I’d put on the chartreuse lipstick.
The pony looks OK with things, but that cat is going to kill someone (not that I blame it).
September 18, 2012 at 4:21 pm
I doubt these can be called “fascinators.” More like “mortifiers.”
September 18, 2012 at 5:07 pm
I think maybe you’re meant to wear floor plan on top of your head and maybe put some little furniture up there. Then you can have tiny people over (head).
September 18, 2012 at 5:31 pm
Fluffy horse!
September 19, 2012 at 3:07 pm
That one on the cat looks EXACTLY like this hat that they make people wear on their birthdays at The Unicorn bar in Seattle, sans the dildo.