This is bullshit. If I’m buying 12 legs, you could at least throw in biscuits and mashed potatoes.
Oh for the love of crap…
Yes. People do love crap. That is why Etsy is the internets fanciest garage sale.
Yes. People do love crap. Which is why Etsy is the internet’s largest garage sale.
I am very afraid as to why this person even has these???
I mean, you’ve posted some lunatics in your time with us here, April, but wow…
Having that big bay window finally pays off?
You just have to be faster than the cats. *thump*+speed=$
but that still leaves the actual process of removing the legs…
OK, be there slightly after the cats.
Think of what he’s saving on wild bird feed now!
Especially as House Sparrows are protected in the UK.
is that true? If so, isn’t it illegal to sell these? Or at least against the etsy “ToS”? There was quite the pile of bunched panties on the forum at one point over someone selling endangered eagle feathers…
The seller’s in the US where English Sparrows are IMMIGRANTS who’re TAEKIN’ AR JEHBS!! If our jobs are being native birds.
Yeah, but they’re just taking the jobs that Americans don’t want, like sitting on electrical wires, sitting under highway overpasses, shitting on everything, etc.
You mean, there are jobs where you can get paid to shit on stuff? Damn, I’m in the wrong business.
What, you’ve forgotten the butt painter already? Not only does he have a job, he makes ART!
These are English sparrows, mate. That’s “shite.”
I shit on highways from electrical wires for a living, and it is a very specialized niche market! I don’t appreciate having my job taken by a sparrow who is willing to do it for free!
Especially by a sparrow with a stuck-up, snooty English accent. I hate that.
When they immigrated, did they carry coconuts with them?
I just keep seeing “who’re” as a different word… lol
Soplame – Those were swallows (the birds not what your throat does with stuff).
African or European?
If sparrow legs are outlawed, only outlaws will have sparrow legs.
You can have my sparrow legs when you pry them from my cold, dead sparrows.
Sparrow legs don’t kill people, people showing pictures of disgusting sparrow legs to people kill people.
A free sparrow ought to be legged.
They are not protected in the US. Here they are an invasive species, and you can destroy/kill as many as you like. (House sparrows and starlings are aggressive cavity nesters. They will out compete and kill birds like the Eastern Bluebird and Prothonotary Warbler.) Crows and grackles are on the other hand protected.
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I kill a handful of european house sparrows myself every year. Instead of just dumping their corpses in the field behind my house, I guess I should have saved their parts for crafting. Up next, what to do about all the stray / feral cats I also shoot.
I’m a bluebirder – so, apparently controlling pests in my yard that destroy or kill an actual native species would make me an asshole. Go ahead and feel self righteous the next time you take a book to a daddy long legs, cat people.
No judginess here. We also have a cat/starling problem. Shame they don’t do each other in.
Feral cats are one thing, although feral cat populations are notoriously stable so I wouldn’t harbor any hope that you’re making progress there. But stray cats are pets. Please don’t kill them. Get a humane trap and turn them over to a rescue where they stand a chance of being reunited with their owners or adopted into a loving home.
Not a judgment so much as a plea for kindness.
Wow, could you get any more ignorant about feral cats? Probably. Plus, you’re going to defend your actions no matter what…
Personally I don’t kill any living creature, native or otherwise, I catch and release spiders, beetles and all the other critters that wander into my house.
Oh and just because, feral cats don’t kill nearly as many birds as disease does, at least here in California.
Do you brush your teeth? Cause you’re like, killing organisms.
Cats kill far more birds than disease does. Not necessarily feral cats only, though. Domestic cats as well.
Most birds don’t live anywhere near long enough to get diseases.
Dumbass and dipshit are really the only 2 words that come to mind when feral cats are discussed.
If you cannot be bothered to chase down your cat after it walks away from your house, it’s not my duty to waste my money or my time doing it for you. Grow the fuck up and keep tabs on your pets.
Better yet, get educated and only feed the native species when it comes to birds. They’re a lot more desirable than cats. Don’t buy that shit with millet in it, those fucking European house sparrows love that shit about as much as they love destroying the nests of native birds. So, ditch your cat and go take care of some birds, they have way more personality.
Not your duty? I don’t know where you live, but I’m pretty sure killing other people’s pets is illegal in most states. And animal control will give you a humane cat trap for free, so that excuse doesn’t wash, either.
I don’t know why you think treating animals humanely is such a big goddamn chore that you can’t be bothered. I’m able to go about my day on a regular basis without shooting any living creatures. It’s damn near effortless.
“If you cannot be bothered to chase down your cat after it walks away from your house, it’s not my duty to waste my money or my time doing it for you.”
…you’ve never actually tried to “chase down” a cat before, have you. Notice this is not a question; it is a statement.
It’s easier just to wait until they’re hungry and lure them back in with food. I know this, because I have owned many a cat.
Please stop shooting them. Seriously, some of them are bound to be escapees who’ve done nothing more than get curious about the outdoors. By all means scare them off if you want, but seriously, stop killing them.
Are they that rare? Here they just a tad above pigeons and those damn starlings.
Actually, recent evidence shows house sparrow populations are declining in North America.
Let’s blame the starlings – hate those things.
In the UK, they are. Or at least were, I haven’t checked on it recently. When we lived in England, we had lots of them in our garden. But we lived in the middle of nowhere. We found them delightful and were greatly entertained by them. We also had a lot of other bird species in our garden and they never seemed to be chased away by the House Sparrows.
I’m going with “generous cat who eats the rest.”
Because anything else creeps me out.
These sparrows are no more, they have ceased to be. they’ve expired and gone to meet their maker! They are stiff! Bereft of life, They rest in peace! If you hadn’t nailed them to the perch they’d be pushing up the daisies! their metabolic processes are now history! they’re off the twig! They’ve kicked the bucket, they have shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-Sparrow!!
I am waiting for the half fish myself. Oh and your mother smelt of elderberries.
Same here. But then, my cat does like to leave the legs, beaks, and feathers in a nice neat pile on the carpet so I’d say the cat theory is plausible. They probably list the beaks and feathers separately.
Makes me wonder what they did with the rest of the carcasses. I mean, they don’t have much meat on them.
This looks like something that would be featured on Bizarre Foods.
And if they’re salt cured, we can eat them, right?
I think this guy needs those feet…
But then wherever will he find shoes that fit?
Is this ill eagle?
HOLY. SHIT. Is this for real??? I love the guy’s face! It’s like he’s saying “Only a real man can wear a wolf-turkey hat, muthafucka!”
whoops! i saw that post immediately after i wrote this. now i feel dumb.
That guy looks stoned out of his mind! Now I know how to get others to model for me! One word: Ruffies!
Here we are! You’re right; the legs are a big improvement.
This is the kind of … Astonishingly awful.
(If I were to take an English name could be Peter Astonishing-More)
Woo-hoo! I am so going to win the talon show now!
Beak-areful, Zippy. You’re over egg-cited. You’re not cock-of-the-walk yet.
Before you go any feather I’ll have you know I’m not to be flocked with. Who’s nest?
Oh no you’re not going to worm your way into the top spot!
Dont peck on me or I ‘ll have to bill you.
Nobody’s robin me! I’ve quilled for less!
I cannot believe that someone is hawking this stuff. And I finch to imagine that there is someone out there gull-ible enough to buy it.
These feet fail now.
Reading the blurb that goes with it just makes it worse..
there’s a fine line in believing that no part of an animal should be wasted, and a really creepy craft cupboard that one day will be featured on some cop show looking into serial murderers.
So many dead birds to cry for.
*single glitter tear*
I know, I know, I’m mixing my butthurt metaphors but can you really blame me?
Do they offer a couple dozen thumbs in another listing? Because I’m gonna need those now.
not in matched pairs? well what’s the friggin’ point if i can’t produce an anatomically correct Franken-bird?
Or an army of them.
Wouldn’t you also need a bunch of beaks and buttholes to do that correctly?
You also need those to run an English courtroom, I’ve heard.
Wasn’t “Beaks n’ Buttholes” an old courtroom comedy show?
I think Dame Judy Finch was in that.
I think Robin Williams was in it, too.
Don’t forget Dame Magpie Smith plus those great guest appearances by Jay Leno and a young Russel Crow.
It was pretty much one of the greatest coops of broadcasting history.
What series of events results in someone being in possession of 12 bird legs, 7 right and 5 left?
Oh, that’s easy.
The scenario involved 33 dead birds, a crazy cat lady, an even crazier starving neighbor who was raised by wolves, one hoarder, an umbrella, and a rampaging hippopotamus.
The rest should be easy to sort out.
I’ve thought about it (and had some beer), and the answer is clear now: Sparrow Poker.
Let’s say you open with 1 sparrow leg. If you have an odd number of players, and someone “ups the ante”, you then could end up with an odd number of sparrow legs if you win at some point.
I’m picturing this game being played in a rural locale, like Scrotum, Arkansas or someplace similar.
You gotta know when to hold a bird in the hand and when to fold 2 birds in the kitty.
Sparrow poker is where the common term “I’m all legs in” comes from.
Also, “I’ve gotta claw my way outta this”.
Before you get your eyes pecked out! (cock jokes, pecker jokes, this is going well)!
You gotta know when to run away and not walk. Like when you’re in Scrotum, Arkansas, for example.
A couple of cats and lots of nests near a nuclear plant?
Bird that good, you can’t eat it all at once.
Here’s the thing. I can see how you could end up with a dead animal and go “ooh, potential off-beat craft!” I occasionally save butterfly wings and stuff when I find them. But I’m really creeped out that this person managed to collect a whole twelve unmatched bird feet. Euuuuugh.
So when I clicked on the facebook link, I was like “please don’t be something dead, please don’t be something dead.” My pleas weren’t answered.
Finally. I have been looking for these FOREVER!
What are your plans? Are lederhosen involved?
All I can think of is 12 sparrows in tiny wheelchairs, somewhere in England, plotting revenge.
I was wondering what the seller did with the rest of the dead birds. I now feel much better, being able to believe the birds are actually still alive.
Or maybe I don’t.
Stephen Hawking is going to love this!
I picture little birds on those little wheeled platforms like Eddie Murphy had in Trading Places. A whole bunch of them.
Maybe the lil’ legs were the leftover parts from an experiment that turned some ordinary sparrows into super-robo-sparrows, capable of amazing feats regular birds only dream of. Like they could sit on things and shit on things at super speed.
A modern remake of “The Birds?”
Coming to an Etsy shop near you…bird foot headdress. You can paint the tiny talons to match your outfit. Add tiny watch gears to each one and call it steampunk.
I actually know quite a few people who use dead bird legs for metal-casting, creating really badass looking metal claw pendants and the like. Although they do have their uses, I gotta admit seeing a whole huge pile of salt preserved sparrow feet jerky does look kind of fucked up. It’s like behind the scenes at a “Chinese restaurant” in a strip mall by the Walmart.
Thanks alot CinderellaPop, now I’ll never be able to eat at Poo Ping Palace again (and yes, this is really the name of the place~many potty jokes have been made).
There’s a Phu King Vietnamese restaurant near my house. I don’t know how the staff can get through the day.
Why sell it? We don’t want it. Even the vultures crap this stuff out.
Oh man…is this vulture shit?
It might be found in pellets spat out by an owl. If it was a steampunk owl and people turn these legs into steampunk craft, we get double-meta-steampunkfuckery.
“You are purchasing 12 English house sparrow legs.”
No, I’m not.
Not now, not later, pretty much never am I doing that.
But are they voodoo quality? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to cast a spell with some overpriced crap from the Popeye’s dumpster..
If you have to pay anything for stuff in a dumpster it seems overpriced. Eliminate the middle man!
You can’t practice voodoo with regular Popeye’s, but you can with extra-spicy. That might’ve been your mistake.
Also good for performing doo-doo.
Highbrow. I like it.
Just the tiniest bit more work on the composition of the photo would have made the difference between “Here are some bird legs I’ve carefully preserved for your artistic needs.” and “Whoops, the ferret got into the bird cage.”
There’s such a fine line between “art supplies” and “decomposing body parts”, you know?
Barn wood. It fixes everything.
That would be a nice backdrop. Or Kristen Stewart.
Wait, there’s a difference?
“Position of the feet varies, as I really ‘mixed it up’ stylistically while murdering these creatures.”
“Some cowered in fear, some assumed attack poses, while others simply tried to run. The result is a smorgasbord of dramatically artistic sparrow leg poses. I really hope you enjoy this unbelievably creepy offering.”
God, please kill ‘em all and let me sort ‘em out. Amen.
I reeeeeeeeally don’t want to think about why a bird would try to run, and not fly. Of course, the OCD is gonna kick in and make the not only think about it, but obsess on it.
Times like these, I wish I knew how to paint. I mean with brushes.
They look like someone just sort of… RIPPED THEM RIGHT THE FUCK OFF OF SOME POOR, UNSUSPECTING BIRD(s).
I’m thinking that earrings made from house sparrows in advanced stages of rigor mortis would be the ideal accessory for my dalmation puppy fur coat.
See my vest, see my vest
Made from real gorilla chest…
- Monty Burns
Musty aroma included?
Somehwere a bunch of really drunk college kids are finally gonna have some answers reguarding a birds ability to carry a coconut…
What the fuck kind of biscuits do you get with an order like that, anyway?
And what soda do you get? Would baked beans be better than mashed potatoes?
I’m thinking mashed potatoes. Something soft to make the claws go down more easily.
No, no dessert for me, thanks.
Somewhere a bunch of really drunk college kids are finally gonna have some answers regarding a birds ability to carry a coconut…
I feel like I should be singing about itty bitty birdy feet right about now.
This is where I mention that, although I certainly don’t think it should be: possession of any part of a sparrow is a violation of the federal Migratory Bird Treaty Act, at one violation per bird, a crime worth up to 6 months in prison per violation.
Since the feet are unmatched, this listing could be worth six years in federal prison.
If you are in the US, you can trap and dispose of house sparrows with impunity – they are not protected by law, as they are introduced exotic species that have been wreaking havoc on our ecosystem. They are largely responsible for the decline in bluebird and purple martin numbers over the past decades.
There is no hunting season – hunters are actively encouraged to kill them all year round. They are also edible and apparently tasty.
You’re right. According to http://www.npwrc.usgs.gov/about/faqs/birds/feathers.htm the house sparrow is exempt. So if these are indeed house sparrow legs, yes, the seller is safe. Totally my bad on that one.
Other breeds of sparrow are not exempt, however (unless they are non-migratory).
Yeah, well… the seller may be within his rights to legally sell sparrow legs, but that doesn’t make it any less creepy.
Who am I to judge though? Half the shit in my etsy store is kinda creepy.
Don’t forget that habitat destruction, domestic cats, and collisions with buildings are larger factors in bird mortality. Bluebird populations have recovered significantly, but cats still kill 500 million bird species per year. Lots of people love to hate house sparrows, but they’re still living things that have inherent rights, if not legal rights.
If she was in the US. But she also has red squirrel parts in her store, which are found in the UK. And while sparrows are found all over the world, she very clearly says English sparrows. I have looked, but I can’t see that sparrows migrate across the ocean.
I also can’t see that it is illegal to buy or own sparrow parts, though it is illegal to kill them. So I am not sure if she is breaking the law.
American Red Squirrels are found mainly in North America, also they’re annoying little things. I used to think they were cuter smaller versions of the “regular” black and grey squirrels. But apparently as soon as you leave the city you find out they’re waaaay more destructive.
Oh, so they are. But I think my other point might stand. I suppose she is most likely American, but the distinction “English” is odd since sparrows are found naturally across Europe and Asia.
“English sparrow” is the US name for the particular species called “house sparrow” in the UK. It doesn’t mean these individual birds necessarily came from England.
You have to ask your self, ‘Do you really want biscuits and mashed potatoes made by this person?” I am going to hazard a guess and say the answer is no.
I was WONDERING when you were gonna do a Phyllis Diller tragicrafting episode…
The wigs, the cigarette holders, the bling!
Why aren’t the legs in matched pairs? Did she decide it was more humane to only tear one leg off per sparrow? Does she keep the lefties for her private collection? My mind is reeling.
She probably has several dozen and can’t be bothered to sort them.
I hate lazy sellers. They really cast a pall on the quality sellers of Etsy, the ones who proudly sell nothing less than matched sparrow legs from the same sparrow.
Is this steampunk?
This is fowl.
What in the shell were they thinking?
Must be birdbrains.
It’s really got my feathers in a ruffle.
“Crochet Guevara”? Did I miss a new member of the Regretsy family?
You will be hearing more from him soon!
His yarns are so liberating!
I didn’t realize that’s a dude.
You always pop in at odd intervals, April.
This is but one of many pies she has her fingers in. That sounds naughty and tasty!
I’m the same way, only there’s no pie and no fingers. Well, I guess I’m not the same way.
He’s got “Chet” right there in his name!
I’m slow, Zippy. I’ve got a room temperature IQ, so it’s a miracle I’ve made it this far.
I just have to wonder how this person might have gotten hold of these legs.
With meat still attached to the top of them.
I’m going to need a new keyboard soon…unless I can pry these keys out of my forehead without damaging them.
This is like the Muffin Stumps on Seinfeld. Where is the rest?
I, for one, am indignant that I am being told that I AM BUYING 12 BIRD LEGS. And not only am I buying 12 bird legs, I am buying 12 MISMATCHED bird legs.
Seriously, if the seller is going to tell me what I am going to buy from them, at least make the demand a little more attractive by MATCHING THE DAMNED BIRD LEGS UP. And maybe festoon each pair with pretty ribbons and photograph them on barnwood.
I’m all for using dead things for art or whatever, being one of those creepy skull-collecting types. But disembodied bird feet are just really, really freaky looking. Particularly when they look at all like this.
*sobs* Finally…finally I can fulfill my dream of an all-sparrow leg tribute to the Rockettes!
This reminds me of the abstract art pieces my cat used to display on our front lawn.
Thankfully he’s recently started applying his gift to the canvas. – http://www.missmoss.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/why-cats-paint.jpg
I think I’ve got an answer to that “Why do cats paint?” question: to wipe the paint off their paws. Hope that stuff’s non-toxic.
Google that book
I own that book. It’s fantastic.
That’s the LAST time I get the Chicken at Safeway.
my 8yr old says freaky but then again he just used the word ‘groovy’, so I wouldn’t trust his judgement or anything…
I would’ve preferred the heads myself.
Little dirty birdy feet…isn’t that a song?
I’ve seen this before! The seller, Sarina, is a taxidermist, and these are professionally preserved. Don’t worry; she doesn’t kill anything for her work. She also doesn’t like to waste any part of the animal, out of respect.
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