It’s actually not nearly as gross as it sounds. There are a lot of different Papier-mâché recipes. I too have my ‘own special mixture’ for smooth surfacing in the final layer of large Papier-mâché projects.
On my screen I didn’t see any of the pics while I read the description and was cringing as I hit page down. I was actually shocked at just how well done this was for what it is. The skin actually does look smooth and not like papier-mâché at all. Kudos to the artist.
I kind of like the fish part. He did a goof job with cans. They kind of look like real scales. The face is creepy though. Does she have that trout pout? Whit h I guess is appropriate if you’re a mermaid.
I thought the same thing. After looking at the first pic, I thought “Okay. Looks more like a sex doll converted into a mermaid, but interesting nonetheless…” And then I saw the second pic. Compounded by the fourth pic.
Thank you, I was wondering what form my nightmares would be taking tonight.
Good heavens, get a lawyer. I don’t know how it is in Malibu but San Diego you can hire a lawyer for a hundred bucks. The lawyer goes to court for you, twice. If they don’t win your case, you get your one hundred dollars back. They can win or negotiate a better deal than you. I’ve done it, it works!
Aquaman’s ’cause he would be the one sporting the dolphin display case. Wonderwoman’s display cases would be made out of invisible glass… going over to her place would be interesting. nevermind.
We’re just lucky Darth Vader and the Emperor were already dead when W took office, otherwise they’d be walking the streets today. Choking and zapping to their heart’s content.
See, I can see the resemblance.
Do you think the artist drank all the beer in one sitting, looked at the cans and thought… hmm, I know what I should use these for!
I thought something like that, too, but not exactly. My thought included a lot of cringing and hope that the sculpture comes with a case of Bandaids and a giant tub of Neosporin. *SHUDDER*
If I had a pool I would definitely buy this as decoration. Set her up on a pedestal in the middle…maybe with a fountain and color changing lights. I would do it for the sole pleasure of displeasing my tomato-stealing neighbors. (Fo realz….they stole mah tomatoes!)
I never paid my Screen Actor’s Guild dues, so they gave my old fake Hollywood number to someone else. I’m current now, so I’ve got a new fake Hollywood number.
askmeaboutmyexplosivediarehea
September 17, 2012 at 10:55 am
Man do I ever wish I wasn’t a ninety-nine percenter right now and could buy this thing. I would put it on my apartment balconey and dress it up for the various holidays. She just wouldn’t be able to be dressed up for the Jewish holidays cause of the whole shellfish thing…
Okay, so, the Ambien, Lortab and fact that it’s 3:30am may be affecting my vision and thinking skills right now, but isn’t she holding a cell phone? I kept trying to figure out what it was and came to the conclusion that MerPam was taking a picture of herself with her phone.
My God, I didn’t notice the location. That’s only a short drive from my relatives. I should tell one of them. Though I doubt his girlfriend would be happy about the $2800 or, you know, everything else.
Since Ladysmith BC is Ms. Anderson’s home town, perhaps it could be offered to the city fathers? It would look great in the middle of the traffic circle. Or perhaps in the Community Centre.
Or her mum and dad might appreciate it.
Full disclosure, my daughter used to teach sex ed in Ladysmith. Nice town but hilly.
September 17, 2012 at 9:32 am
What, doesn’t it fit in with their classy decor?
Someone needs to alert The Bloggess, because I can’t see her turning this one down.
September 17, 2012 at 9:33 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 17, 2012 at 9:33 am
You know what that would go perfectly with?
My giant dolphin display shelves, bitches!
September 17, 2012 at 9:35 am
Darn it, you beat me to it!
September 17, 2012 at 9:33 am
Um, what exactly does he mean by “my own mixture”?
September 17, 2012 at 9:51 am
You can’t say “actual human skin harvested from murdered craigslist personals responders” on craigslist, it’s in their terms of service.
September 17, 2012 at 10:12 am
They’re so uptight over there at craigslist.
September 17, 2012 at 10:25 am
Come on now, don’t be so disgusting. It probably just means he came a little in the paint.
Jesus, some people can be so immature.
September 17, 2012 at 11:31 am
It’s probably silicone, collagen and botox. He can’t really call it his own, though.
September 17, 2012 at 11:42 am
Don’t forget the key ingredient: hepatitis C!
September 17, 2012 at 11:47 am
That was his own.
September 17, 2012 at 12:59 pm
Yes it is the same stuff half the faces in Hollywood are made from now so don’t worry.
September 17, 2012 at 12:06 pm
Ah Regretsy, how you’ve filthied our minds…
It’s actually not nearly as gross as it sounds. There are a lot of different Papier-mâché recipes. I too have my ‘own special mixture’ for smooth surfacing in the final layer of large Papier-mâché projects.
September 17, 2012 at 12:08 pm
Damn it, I just read my response and it sounds disgusting.
September 17, 2012 at 12:17 pm
nah, just pretentious because you used the accent marks.
September 17, 2012 at 12:24 pm
Touché
September 17, 2012 at 5:19 pm
Mâché.
September 17, 2012 at 5:31 pm
Too much!
September 17, 2012 at 9:34 am
This would look awesome near the dolphin bookcase.
September 17, 2012 at 10:04 am
Great minds.
September 17, 2012 at 9:34 am
On my screen I didn’t see any of the pics while I read the description and was cringing as I hit page down. I was actually shocked at just how well done this was for what it is. The skin actually does look smooth and not like papier-mâché at all. Kudos to the artist.
September 17, 2012 at 9:37 am
And it does kinda look like her.
September 17, 2012 at 10:23 am
And it completely explains why my asshole clenched in fear.
September 17, 2012 at 11:49 am
except the breasts are way too small.
September 17, 2012 at 1:05 pm
I kind of like the fish part. He did a goof job with cans. They kind of look like real scales. The face is creepy though. Does she have that trout pout? Whit h I guess is appropriate if you’re a mermaid.
September 18, 2012 at 6:01 am
I thought the same thing. After looking at the first pic, I thought “Okay. Looks more like a sex doll converted into a mermaid, but interesting nonetheless…” And then I saw the second pic. Compounded by the fourth pic.
Thank you, I was wondering what form my nightmares would be taking tonight.
September 25, 2012 at 9:07 pm
She looks a bit Jocelyn Wildenstein
September 17, 2012 at 9:35 am
“On top of the papier mache is MY VERY OWN MIXTURE to make the skin smooth.”
EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
September 17, 2012 at 9:49 am
“Special sauce” should never be alluded to when talking about something like this.
September 17, 2012 at 10:19 am
That’s because it was tartar sauce?
September 17, 2012 at 10:20 am
I know … if my partner were here, he’d say, “Hush puppy”.
September 17, 2012 at 11:48 am
Or “Save me a cod piece!”
September 17, 2012 at 10:11 am
He rubs the lotion on it.
September 17, 2012 at 10:13 am
And then he tends to his aluminum can wounds.
September 17, 2012 at 11:49 am
“Foiled again!”
September 17, 2012 at 11:21 am
At least he changed it from “my very own concoction”.
September 17, 2012 at 9:35 am
Yeah, this would look great outside the Malibu Courthouse. Evertime I go there is fight a ticket. I could rub a nipple for good luck.
September 18, 2012 at 1:27 pm
Good heavens, get a lawyer. I don’t know how it is in Malibu but San Diego you can hire a lawyer for a hundred bucks. The lawyer goes to court for you, twice. If they don’t win your case, you get your one hundred dollars back. They can win or negotiate a better deal than you. I’ve done it, it works!
September 17, 2012 at 9:35 am
Would you just look at those cans!
September 17, 2012 at 11:32 am
Recycling just got sexy!
September 17, 2012 at 9:35 am
Fuck, if I had $2800, it would already be sold!!!
(seriously, that is just FUN!)
September 17, 2012 at 9:36 am
This must be “viewed in a room,” preferably Aquaman’s. Or Wonderwoman’s.
September 17, 2012 at 11:48 am
Aquaman’s ’cause he would be the one sporting the dolphin display case. Wonderwoman’s display cases would be made out of invisible glass… going over to her place would be interesting. nevermind.
September 17, 2012 at 9:36 am
That would look awesome in the serial killer basement I’m constructing.
September 17, 2012 at 9:46 am
Nobody else is getting a serious “Buffalo Bill” vibe off of this thing?
September 17, 2012 at 9:50 am
This is kind of thing Captain Crunch would have in his serial killer basement. Whoops, I mean cereal. But with a nautical theme.
September 17, 2012 at 9:53 am
I hate correcting people, but it’s “Cap’n” Crunch. He never passed the test to actually be a Captain. It’s more of an honorary title.
September 17, 2012 at 10:01 am
WHAT?, this means the wedding he performed for us is invalid! *kicks adulterous whore of a “wife” out, uses this as an excuse to marry secretary.*
September 17, 2012 at 10:03 am
I know, I know. Think of all the scurvy dogs who walked the plank under false pretenses.
September 17, 2012 at 11:35 am
A whole bunch of shark poop just got exonerated.
September 17, 2012 at 11:42 am
I’m pretty sure George W. Bush pardoned Cap’n Crunch right before he left office.
He also pardoned the Noid from Domino’s for ruining all those pizzas.
September 17, 2012 at 11:54 am
We’re just lucky Darth Vader and the Emperor were already dead when W took office, otherwise they’d be walking the streets today. Choking and zapping to their heart’s content.
September 17, 2012 at 12:52 pm
Not to mention Bluto and his jealous sabotaging of Popeye. No pardon! No pardon!
September 17, 2012 at 12:53 pm
Was the Emperor really dead, though? I’ve never seen him and Dick Cheney in the same room….
September 17, 2012 at 11:44 pm
But what if Bob doesn’t want to marry you? And damn you, now I really want PB Capt. Crunch.
September 17, 2012 at 9:36 am
Huh. That’s not a terrible sculpture, I thought to myself.
Then I saw the face.
September 17, 2012 at 9:45 am
I briefly had the same thought, but the rest of it is so mind-bendingly awesomely tacky (tackily awesome?) that I think the face can be forgiven.
September 17, 2012 at 10:21 am
“The scales are made of cans” = SHARP EDGES!!!
Dunno about you, but I hates it when seafood is sharper than I am.
September 17, 2012 at 5:02 pm
I actually think the face looks quite a lot like Pamela A.
September 17, 2012 at 9:37 am
I can’t believe some women still fall for that “my own mixture will make your skin smooth” line.
September 17, 2012 at 9:38 am
It looks so fake, maybe it really IS Pamela Anderson.
September 17, 2012 at 9:38 am
My only criticism? The breasts look too real.
September 17, 2012 at 10:47 am
Totally my thought too. It obviously isn’t to actual scale. Come on, artists!
September 17, 2012 at 9:39 am
Oddly enough, these breasts are more organic than the originals.
September 18, 2012 at 1:56 pm
Ha! Great minds, ekobunko!
September 17, 2012 at 9:40 am
I’m not sure why they felt the need to mention they lived in a mobile home. I thought that was implied.
September 17, 2012 at 9:42 am
This statue is a gay conspiracy.
September 17, 2012 at 9:42 am
I bet she has crabs.
September 17, 2012 at 9:44 am
I am honestly pretty impressed by the aluminum can hair and scales.
BADASS
September 17, 2012 at 11:50 am
I just wouldn’t want to run into that thing in the middle of the night. I’d look like I had a run-in with Freddy Krueger.
September 17, 2012 at 9:44 am
That awkward moment when the buyer comes to pick up the sculpture and you realize there’s no way it’s fitting through the trailer door.
September 17, 2012 at 9:47 am
I’m guessing the awkward moments start WAY earlier.
September 17, 2012 at 11:38 am
“Honey, those nipples look fine, stop fiddling with them. And look, you just got “mixture” on the carpet! Again!”
September 17, 2012 at 9:45 am
Long time lurker, first time poster, can anyone tell me what it is in the window in the third picture?
September 17, 2012 at 9:53 am
September 17, 2012 at 9:55 am
Albino Hexapus!!!!!! (Not shown: tentacles)
September 17, 2012 at 11:53 am
Suckers!
September 17, 2012 at 11:55 am
That’s what you ink!
September 17, 2012 at 12:43 pm
I’m mollusc sure of it!
September 17, 2012 at 12:54 pm
No squidding?
September 17, 2012 at 1:04 pm
I go nothin. *ejects cloud of ink, hides, sadly swims away*
September 17, 2012 at 1:05 pm
now with t!
September 17, 2012 at 1:11 pm
Cuttle it out you guys.
September 17, 2012 at 9:55 am
Is that Charlie Sheen?
September 17, 2012 at 10:23 am
Apologies for the poor photoshopping
September 17, 2012 at 12:36 pm
I was wondering when Borat would surface.
September 17, 2012 at 10:41 am
Thank you so much for this. XD My crappy day just got a lot better.
September 17, 2012 at 7:28 pm
September 17, 2012 at 9:53 am
Submarine headlights?
September 17, 2012 at 9:57 am
I think it’s their partner’s car. “I’m leaving, and I’m not coming back until you get rid of that thing.”
September 17, 2012 at 10:11 am
I’m pretty sure it’s Jodie the pig from The Amityville Horror.
September 17, 2012 at 12:21 pm
It’s a car’s tail lights.
September 17, 2012 at 9:47 am
See, I can see the resemblance.
Do you think the artist drank all the beer in one sitting, looked at the cans and thought… hmm, I know what I should use these for!
September 17, 2012 at 9:50 am
Looks slashy! I can’t wait to drunkenly stumble face-first into this thing in the night.
September 17, 2012 at 10:19 am
I thought something like that, too, but not exactly. My thought included a lot of cringing and hope that the sculpture comes with a case of Bandaids and a giant tub of Neosporin. *SHUDDER*
September 17, 2012 at 10:45 am
I was thinking the same thing. I’d hate to be the one to have to carry it.
September 17, 2012 at 9:52 am
It’s stylistically inconsistent. I’m a little surprised that it doesn’t have an open mouth.
September 17, 2012 at 10:12 am
awesome call on that, Matt, but it still wouldn’t have enough holes for…ummm…obvious reasons.
September 17, 2012 at 10:14 am
Therein lies the fantasy, I think.
September 18, 2012 at 1:32 pm
and that is the real reason Ariel wanted legs.
September 17, 2012 at 9:53 am
Too bad. It seems like a mobile home is the *perfect* place for it.
September 17, 2012 at 9:55 am
I have to give the artist credit, that blank staring face is a dead match to pam’s!
September 17, 2012 at 9:56 am
If I had a pool I would definitely buy this as decoration. Set her up on a pedestal in the middle…maybe with a fountain and color changing lights. I would do it for the sole pleasure of displeasing my tomato-stealing neighbors. (Fo realz….they stole mah tomatoes!)
September 17, 2012 at 10:32 am
At least they didn’t steal your okra.
September 17, 2012 at 11:53 am
’cause we all know how much okra resembles hash.
September 17, 2012 at 5:35 pm
I hope they don’t kelp themselves to your seaweed.
September 17, 2012 at 10:52 pm
Tomato stealin’ is srs bsns.
September 17, 2012 at 10:06 am
Actually, I think you’re going to need an intervention. Because we care about your addiction. And your wallet.
September 17, 2012 at 10:13 am
“…made of metal armature, covered in chicken wire then covered in several layers of papier mache.” Much like Pamela Anderson herself.
September 17, 2012 at 10:15 am
What is she sitting on? I can’t figure out if it’s a toilet or cinder blocks.
September 17, 2012 at 10:18 am
It’s in a trailer, so you know, potato/potahto.
September 17, 2012 at 11:35 am
I think it is a toilet made entirely of faux finishes…
September 17, 2012 at 10:23 am
She may have Pamela Anderson’s bod . . . but she’s got Jocelyn Wildenstein’s face.
September 17, 2012 at 10:29 am
Thank you! That was my first thought and thanks also for not posting a photo. Really. THANK YOU.
September 18, 2012 at 8:12 pm
My pleasure. Or should I say, my absence of pain? In any case, you’re welcome.
September 17, 2012 at 10:24 am
That would look great next to my sculpture of Dom DeLouise made out of Chef Boyardee cans.
September 17, 2012 at 11:32 am
now that I would buy!
September 17, 2012 at 11:44 am
I made his nipples ultra-realistic, too, so they’d totally go together.
September 17, 2012 at 11:51 am
Pictures, or you are a pants-on-fire liar.
September 17, 2012 at 12:17 pm
Give me a call, and I’ll send you pictures. My number is: 555-6673. If you don’t get an answer, just keep trying.
September 17, 2012 at 12:30 pm
Matt, you told ME that your number was 555-7784. I’m beginning to think that you don’t want to hear from me.
September 17, 2012 at 12:47 pm
I never paid my Screen Actor’s Guild dues, so they gave my old fake Hollywood number to someone else. I’m current now, so I’ve got a new fake Hollywood number.
September 17, 2012 at 12:49 pm
OR- Answer #2:
That chick means NOTHING to me! You know I love you, baby! It’s always been you!
September 17, 2012 at 12:54 pm
After all that smooth “sure baby, you can call me” line you gave me, sounding all presidential and shit, and this is what’s really going on?
September 17, 2012 at 1:27 pm
He told ME I wasn’t his bitch and to buy my own fries.
September 17, 2012 at 2:34 pm
His shit is going to get complicated
September 17, 2012 at 10:29 am
Have this made into a cake and I’LL buy it!
September 17, 2012 at 10:31 am
I just want to know, did they build it inside the mobile home, and if so, how are they going to get it OUT???
September 17, 2012 at 10:33 am
Is it just me or are the boobs too small?
September 17, 2012 at 10:52 am
I don’t know, what cup size are you?
September 17, 2012 at 10:54 am
I certainly hope no dolishins were harmed in the making of this statue.
September 17, 2012 at 10:55 am
Man do I ever wish I wasn’t a ninety-nine percenter right now and could buy this thing. I would put it on my apartment balconey and dress it up for the various holidays. She just wouldn’t be able to be dressed up for the Jewish holidays cause of the whole shellfish thing…
September 17, 2012 at 11:52 am
She just can’t eat shellfish. I don’t recall any restrictions about wearing them. YOU try taking pearls away from my Jewish mother!
September 17, 2012 at 11:10 am
In the first picture I thought she was holding a cell phone.
It would be an interesting piece to put out in the yard though…
September 18, 2012 at 1:35 am
Okay, so, the Ambien, Lortab and fact that it’s 3:30am may be affecting my vision and thinking skills right now, but isn’t she holding a cell phone? I kept trying to figure out what it was and came to the conclusion that MerPam was taking a picture of herself with her phone.
September 17, 2012 at 11:23 am
I’m tempted to make a remark about Clamato, but probably shouldn’t.
September 17, 2012 at 11:26 am
What trailer has built-in bookcases that nice? I know I shouldn’t be jealous…
September 17, 2012 at 3:38 pm
Notice there are no actual books…
September 17, 2012 at 11:29 am
It’s gotta go to make room for the other one with the fish part on top and the lady part on the bottom. As per the request of Philip J. Fry.
September 17, 2012 at 1:43 pm
It’ll likely look something like this.
September 17, 2012 at 3:25 pm
Reasons I avoid Atlanta.
September 17, 2012 at 4:48 pm
For me the reasons are:
1) The airport and
2) It’s completely surrounded by Georgia
September 17, 2012 at 11:47 pm
Two excellent reasons.
September 18, 2012 at 11:17 am
My family swears that when you die and go to hell there’s a layover in Atlanta.
September 17, 2012 at 11:38 am
I m only a short ferry ride from her. Eat your heart out!
September 17, 2012 at 11:44 am
Is that like a short bus?
September 17, 2012 at 11:44 am
You don’t even need to take the ferry. Just ask her to swim over to your place.
September 17, 2012 at 11:45 am
I would sell my house to get that if it could really swim! I’d make the money back x10 at Vegas!
September 17, 2012 at 12:19 pm
Have you ever thought about getting into investment consulting, Zippy? You seem to have an intuitive sense about money.
September 17, 2012 at 1:06 pm
I have a sure-fire get-rich scheme for sale for $100.
September 17, 2012 at 11:46 am
I’d be worried that the sculptor would eat YOUR heart out.
September 17, 2012 at 11:47 am
srsly. And use the other parts to make another scary, scary statue.
September 17, 2012 at 11:53 am
My God, I didn’t notice the location. That’s only a short drive from my relatives. I should tell one of them. Though I doubt his girlfriend would be happy about the $2800 or, you know, everything else.
September 19, 2012 at 8:13 am
Since Ladysmith BC is Ms. Anderson’s home town, perhaps it could be offered to the city fathers? It would look great in the middle of the traffic circle. Or perhaps in the Community Centre.
Or her mum and dad might appreciate it.
Full disclosure, my daughter used to teach sex ed in Ladysmith. Nice town but hilly.
September 17, 2012 at 11:56 am
That thing has way too many razor-sharp edges for my liking.
September 17, 2012 at 12:05 pm
Sea World just got an 18 or over attraction!
September 17, 2012 at 12:24 pm
Before, you had to haze your eyes and imagine the manatees in bikinis.
September 17, 2012 at 4:50 pm
Is it too early for me to say “Oh, the huge manatee” again? Yes? I won’t, then.
September 17, 2012 at 12:21 pm
It seems a little incongruous, given that her only claims to fame are “regular brazilian waxes” and “running along the beach”.
September 17, 2012 at 12:26 pm
You forgot “Fucking her way to the middle”.
September 17, 2012 at 1:20 pm
And “sleeping with Tommy Lee “which not more than 30 or 40 thousand other women can say.
September 17, 2012 at 2:10 pm
What about “Barb Wire”? Or are we all drinking to forget that? (I haven’t drunk enough yet)
September 17, 2012 at 2:09 pm
How the hell did he do her hair? Last time I cut pop cans in spirals, I sliced my hand open. THROUGH the welding gloves.
September 17, 2012 at 5:40 pm
The answer is always; Product!
September 17, 2012 at 5:44 pm
She shaves steel shards by the Schmidt Shack
Heh-heh, you said “sack”.
September 17, 2012 at 11:19 pm
Can someone not yet dead haunt something? I’m getting vibes of blow-up sex doll inhabited by the spirit of Jackie Stallone.
September 18, 2012 at 2:00 pm
The blow-up doll who will examine your ass instead of the other way around…
September 17, 2012 at 11:37 pm
Pamela’s breasts don’t look anything near that natural.
(Also, I’m pretty sure there’s a “sea kittens” joke in there somewhere…)
September 18, 2012 at 5:59 am
I love it. I’m in love I’m in love I’m in love and I don’t care who knows about it! There. I said it.
September 18, 2012 at 11:21 am
There are some excellent dives in Key West that need to be told about this catch.