Wed Buttons
This post first appeared on Regretsy in September of 2011
You know where this would work? A pretend wedding in a mental hospital. You can carry a bouquet of buttons, and the groom can wear a top hat made out of an oatmeal box. Then you can exchange onion rings and spend the night in your couch fort.
Here’s an idea; just throw $100 in singles at your bridesmaids. You save $25 and there’s less chance of blinding someone.
September 15, 2012 at 9:34 am
Man, the mental hospital I went to didn’t have any pretend weddings, just ranting old guys threatening to call the government and a roommate who always opened the door on me when I was in the bathroom. I feel cheated.
September 15, 2012 at 12:46 pm
i’m intrigued. more, please.
September 15, 2012 at 9:35 am
I don’t think this completely horrible… might actually be cute with some tweeks. I just think it’s way overpriced.
September 15, 2012 at 9:50 am
Overpriced and yugly compared to what else is out there now there…
I gave up at page 17 doing a google search for wedding button bouquet – then again, this person was evidently ahead of the trend. http://alturl.com/nkdqp
September 15, 2012 at 9:54 am
Some of those really make me want to scream. Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
September 15, 2012 at 10:41 am
I don’t think it’s terrible. But after I saw those on your link, it kind of makes me think of those “Nailed it” pics.
September 15, 2012 at 5:54 pm
Some of those are actually pretty. I knew the idea had potential, lol. Now the original one from this post looks even sadder in comparison though.
September 15, 2012 at 10:00 am
“I don’t think this is completely horrible… might actually be cute if I were tweeking. I just think it’s way overpriced.”
I fixed it.
September 15, 2012 at 10:15 am
You fixed it AND made a meth of it.
September 15, 2012 at 11:18 am
Someone needs to start cracking down on this.
September 15, 2012 at 10:26 am
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September 15, 2012 at 5:51 pm
Perhaps that’s what the person was doing when they made it?
September 18, 2012 at 6:23 am
oooh… thank you for explaining, rather than just thumbing me down for asking.
September 15, 2012 at 10:25 am
it’s a cute idea, but that looks like the budget version of some of the other options out there (and it costs the same). Definitely wouldn’t pay $125 for that.
September 15, 2012 at 9:37 am
It’s nice to see the city from “The Jetsons” getting work after all these years.
September 15, 2012 at 11:00 am
Times have been tough since Spacely Sprockets outsourced to Neptune.
No one knows what happened to Mr. Spacely. Rumour has it he snapped after one too many zany misunderstanding-filled dinners at George Jetson’s house.
September 15, 2012 at 11:03 am
I heard he got romantically involved with Rosie the Robot and was pincer-ed to within an inch of his life.
September 15, 2012 at 11:05 am
I heard Jane Jetson took off to the mall with George’s wallet one day and never came back.
September 15, 2012 at 11:32 am
I remember that scene. She dropped til she shopped.
September 15, 2012 at 9:38 am
I dunno. Not the worst thing I have seen here by any stretch. At least its not hobo chic and made with rusty soup cans and 40 oz caps.
Besides…might be great for brides with severe allergies or who live in bubbles due to severe immune-suppression. Or psychos. Whatevs.
September 15, 2012 at 10:29 am
you just gave me an idea: 40oz cap bouquets for hobo weddings. NOBODY STEAL MY IDEA, OK?!
September 15, 2012 at 10:31 am
I’m cornering the market on velcro and zipper bouquets.
September 15, 2012 at 11:07 am
I think I’ll provide the hubcap “picture” hats for the women of the wedding party. They will be upcycled, recycled, AND multipurpose since they are much sturdier than tinfoil for deflecting the government’s mind control rays!
September 15, 2012 at 9:43 am
This peyote-inspired bouquet is better than the ‘shroom-inspired toadstools one but the heroin poppies one is still the best.
September 15, 2012 at 9:44 am
These are actually super trendy right now with the hipsters.
September 15, 2012 at 9:45 am
Aaaaaaand we just found the problem.
September 15, 2012 at 9:54 am
Hipsters need to zip it.
September 15, 2012 at 9:57 am
A bouquet made of zippers?
Hmmm….
September 15, 2012 at 3:48 pm
…and it exists.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/78055779
It’s like Rule 34 of the internet, but instead of porn, it’s that, if it exists, there is a craft of it (probably on Etsy).
September 16, 2012 at 11:37 am
I…..actually kind of like that 8/
September 15, 2012 at 11:00 am
Dammit. I was going to say that a few of these might be cute stuck in a frog (floral frog, not amphibian frog) in a posy bowl, but I wouldn’t want anyone to accuse me of being a hipster.
September 15, 2012 at 9:44 am
Well, now that they’ve buttoned up the market on the worst example of this trend….
September 15, 2012 at 9:45 am
ANd the groom and groomsmen could wear these.
I Googled them as a joke, but why am I not surprised they actually exist.
September 15, 2012 at 10:33 am
Awh, that’s actually really cute. Not for a wedding, but it’s cute to wear on a regular day.
September 15, 2012 at 10:40 am
I’d rather get my wiener caught in a regular fly 10 times than that one even once.
September 15, 2012 at 10:38 am
See? I totally knew you could do a bouquet out of zips.
Vintage ones of course.
September 15, 2012 at 6:43 pm
I’ve made a bunch of these, actually. They’re really easy to make, so I always feel productive when I’ve finished. Then I go looking for places to put them or people to give them to. >.> http://www.flickr.com/photos/27091316@N03/5157597808/in/set-72157625212867555/
September 16, 2012 at 11:39 am
Those are neat!
September 15, 2012 at 9:46 am
Let’s throw a hard pointy thing most likely to shatter into a zillion pieces into a group of drunk single women moments after an event guaranteed to emphasize how single they feel.
What could possibly go wrong?
September 15, 2012 at 11:10 am
That is what I was thinking. Regular buttons would be bad enough but ceramic are going to be heavy to carry and really increases the chance of injury. Anyone know if the seller is a lawyer or maybe a plastic surgeon?
September 16, 2012 at 12:01 am
Not every bride throws her bouquet.
I’m not defending this, though. While I have seen button bouquets that look cool and that I like – I was a regular on Offbeat Bride when planning my own wedding – I can’t say I care for this one. It’s just not that well-made.
But don’t assume that the bride is sure to throw it her bouquet.
I didn’t throw mine (I had a fan – a fan I rather liked – and didn’t want to chuck it into a crowd. Also, stupid tradition).
September 15, 2012 at 9:58 am
I think it’s kind of cute – or I did think that until I read vicogin’s comment and realized the ramifications. You could poke somebody’s EYE out with that thing!
September 15, 2012 at 10:05 am
This is true. It is one thing to decide ” cute or not cute ” and another thing to see it flying through the air by someone flinging it over their shoulder. Into a pack of women who are scrambling for it. Should come with insurance. Besides how do you press it? Or don’t they do that anymore?
September 15, 2012 at 10:08 am
You sew them all over your shirt like a TGI Fridays waitress!
September 15, 2012 at 10:26 am
That’s what weddings need – more pieces of “Flair”! At least 37.
September 15, 2012 at 10:59 am
Zippy, I see what you did there. Love the “Office Space” reference!
September 15, 2012 at 11:07 am
The bride and groom could launch off a “Jump to Conclusions Mat” and over a broom.
September 15, 2012 at 10:33 am
I’m guessing since it’s not perishable, you wouldn’t need to press it. Ditto on the “could poke an eye out” thing.
If I saw that thing sailing through the air, I’d probably be the only bridesmaid running the other way (then again, I usually am anyway).
September 15, 2012 at 11:13 am
I vote for pressing with a steamroller. Wonder if wedding planners provide that service?
September 15, 2012 at 10:05 am
I will say, I used something like this at my divorce. Prefer not to say how.
September 15, 2012 at 10:09 am
I’m almost positive in involved a butt.
September 15, 2012 at 10:10 am
“it” not “in”
September 15, 2012 at 10:14 am
I’m sure “in” happened there somewhere too.
September 15, 2012 at 10:59 am
I thought it might involve a urethra.. but what do I know?
September 15, 2012 at 10:06 am
I foresee “button, button, who’s got the button” game being included in the reception festivities.
September 15, 2012 at 10:07 am
The groom wore a boutonniere made from Legos.
September 15, 2012 at 10:35 am
that is a much cooler idea. button bouquets have gotten so mainstream, you know?
September 15, 2012 at 10:15 am
Weddings are awful.
I do not understand why young people get married, if you do not have property or children.
That is a whole bouquet hilarious.
September 15, 2012 at 11:00 am
I want to marry my husband, Petja. Just one more thing to piss of the religious right.
September 16, 2012 at 5:42 am
Then the pink zipper bouquet is for you (no offense – I’ve grown up around gay men, with the kind of humour that made us buy a man-sized bright pink fake xmas tree)
September 15, 2012 at 10:16 am
I just registered for the sole purpose of commenting on this post..
I actually work at a mental hospital as a counselor and when we get the psychotic patients that are heavily religious, we sometimes DO hold fake weddings between staff members in which the religious psychotic person marries us. It’s awesome because the patient’s get really into it and all the staff members are banging each other anyway, so, when a psychotic person that alternately believes that they are jesus christ and everybody but them are nazi’s, terrorists, robots, aliens, etc, marries us, at least we can say that we’re not living in sin anymore! Our parents would be so proud…
It’s also a nice break from being baptized constantly. Though not as hilarious as when there are TWO religious psychotics that stand around and bless each other constantly.
Someone needs to make a Mental Hospital Wedding treasury, STAT!!!
September 15, 2012 at 10:37 am
so would you consider this bouquet for such an occasion, or are there too many sharp objects that can be crafted into weapons?
September 15, 2012 at 11:06 am
Well, considering that the patients make us equally shitty bouquets for way less money, I think we’ll stick with the current method.
Though that gives me an idea….. Mental hospital sweat shop? Mass production of shitty paper mache bouquets, totally steampunk, perfect for any occasion, made by a government certified crazy person! Only $100 each! ETSY, HERE WE COME!
September 15, 2012 at 11:19 am
If you include a certificate of authentication that the crafter is insane and put it in a barnwood frame your could charge $200.
September 18, 2012 at 5:58 pm
don’t forget the spray-painted gears!
September 15, 2012 at 10:17 am
At the (ahem) institution I was at, the cushions didn’t come off the couch, so we didn’t get to have forts. We didn’t have toilet seats, either, I think for the same reason.
And no one wanted to be the bride.
September 15, 2012 at 10:35 am
No toilet seats? How did you… never mind.
September 15, 2012 at 6:30 pm
Having Been hospitalized in the psychiatric ward a couple of times, let’s just say-very carefully.
September 15, 2012 at 10:23 am
If I ever get married, I am going to have a couch fort and an oatmeal hat. And onion rings. For everyone.
September 15, 2012 at 10:38 am
yay! can I come to your wedding? I have a whole outfit made entirely of buttons that I want to wear somewhere fancy
September 15, 2012 at 12:27 pm
Sure. You could even be the bride if you want. I’m single.
September 15, 2012 at 11:01 am
and dancing boys wearing kilts regimentally.
September 15, 2012 at 10:32 am
I see Zooey Deschanel having one of these at her wedding
September 15, 2012 at 11:03 am
That’s because she’s America’s Hipster Sweetheart.
September 15, 2012 at 10:36 am
Look out, Hobo Wedding – here comes Hoarders Wedding! Somethings old, somethings new, somethings borrowed, somethings blue, and some other things. Many, many other things.
September 15, 2012 at 11:46 am
All in big piles covering the reception tables, and all flammable.
September 15, 2012 at 1:53 pm
We’re registered at Storables and The Container Store.
September 16, 2012 at 10:45 am
And PetSmart, I hope.
September 15, 2012 at 10:57 am
Why not go down the aisle in matching White Paper Painter’s Overalls while you’re at it?
September 15, 2012 at 11:35 am
Call me weird but I think this thing is actually kinda cute! I wouldn’t use it as a wedding bouquet (nor would I pay $125 for it) but I would put it in a little vase and set it on a table for decoration.
September 15, 2012 at 3:48 pm
Weird.
You’re welcome.
September 15, 2012 at 9:19 pm
Thank you! XD
September 15, 2012 at 1:39 pm
Am I the only person who thinks this looks like it fell out of a Dr. Seuss book?
Yes, I am the Wedding Planner who speaks for good taste, which this seller seems to be ignoring with haste. A button bouquet such as this is very bad; as will be the lawsuits of blinded bridesmaids– quite mad.
September 16, 2012 at 11:44 am
Nope, that was my very first thought. And now I can’t decide whether “Dr. Seuss-themed Wedding” is a terrible idea, or the greatest idea ever. 8/
September 16, 2012 at 12:06 am
You all knew it would have to come to this…
September 16, 2012 at 10:05 am
Steampunk button bouqet? LOL. Rule 34-E of the interenet is satisfied (E of course standing for Etsy and all the cupcake fuckery that is crafted there).
September 16, 2012 at 10:44 am
That’s no moon… it’s a bouquet!
September 16, 2012 at 9:53 pm
I think the pins make the bouquet throw much more exciting! Unless of course, everyone has protective eyewear…