70

Milk and Cookies

Sorry, I’m on a diet. I can’t even look at cookies without putting on 20cc.

70 comments on Milk and Cookies

  1. Princess Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    September 15, 2012 at 5:32 pm

    what’s in them besides oatmeal to encourage lactation?

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

    • jeninmaine
      September 15, 2012 at 5:33 pm

      Brewer’s yeast and flaxseed meal, usually. I made tons of these when I was nursing my kids and they really did help!

      Thumb up Thumb down +60

    • xskatebakerrx
      September 15, 2012 at 5:33 pm

      People usually put brewer’s yeast, flax, and sometimes fenugreek in them to encourage production.

      Thumb up Thumb down +14

    • Park
      September 16, 2012 at 9:05 am

      You mean they’re to MAKE milk?
      Aw, man. Boring.

      Thumb up Thumb down +11

  2. xskatebakerrx
    September 15, 2012 at 5:32 pm

    This is actually a thing. It’s actually really helpful for moms, and they taste great too! Basically just oatmeal cookies with other ingredients that help boost milk supply.

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

    • AmberOdd
      September 15, 2012 at 6:42 pm

      Something can be a real thing and still be a strange concept.

      Like the platypus.

      Thumb up Thumb down +130

      • lanilanilani
        September 16, 2012 at 7:16 am

        They don’t do much.

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

      • rushgirl2112
        September 16, 2012 at 11:54 am

        Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

        Thumb up Thumb down -3

  3. Orange You Nice
    September 15, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    How wonderful. When I was lactating, one of my biggest concerns was my inability to create baked goods.

    Thumb up Thumb down +128

    • aliceblue
      September 15, 2012 at 11:08 pm

      Just as well. It would have hurt like hell to express cookies.

      Thumb up Thumb down +34

      • Cockamamie Jamie
        September 16, 2012 at 7:35 am

        Is the only possible connection that she burnt a tittie when taking them out of the oven?

        Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • rushgirl2112
      September 16, 2012 at 11:51 am

      You’re lucky if you actually felt like baking while you were nursing a newborn.

      I for one barely found time to eat, much less bake something.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

  4. Stiflers Mom
    September 15, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    Isn’t ALL food required by the FDA to be labeled with exact ingredients, calories etc.?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • PaganChick
      September 15, 2012 at 5:51 pm

      Hmmmm. I’d better go and make sure that the bread rolls I baked today have a label endorsed by the FDA, listing all the right ingredients and caloric count on it.

      Oh. Wait.

      Thumb up Thumb down +35

      • Orange You Nice
        September 15, 2012 at 5:52 pm

        Do you have a link to your sale listing? We’d love to see your baking skills!

        Thumb up Thumb down +3

        • PaganChick
          September 15, 2012 at 6:00 pm

          LMAO Orange, hon, I know better than to list baked goods on Etsy. They’d never survive the photo shoot. I have two sons and a husband who’d see to that.

          Though I have toyed with the idea of listing my 16 flavors of homemade fudge for sale.

          Thumb up Thumb down +17

          • TheLegwarmerCrusader
            September 15, 2012 at 6:38 pm

            Don’t know if that was a joke, but if it wasn’t, I do love home-made fudge. But are there really 16 ways to make it that all taste different? It all sorta tastes the same to me.

            Thumb up Thumb down +5

            • PaganChick
              September 15, 2012 at 6:52 pm

              No joke. Back when I had funds to do it (before my husband got laid off and our whole household budget went kerflooie), I would make the following flavors:

              1. Milk Chocolate

              2. Dark Chocolate

              3. Lemon

              4. Milk Chocolate Mint

              5. Dark Chocolate Mint

              6. Maple

              7. Peanut Butter

              8. Peanut Butter Cup (a layer of peanut butter fudge between two layers of milk chocolate fudge)

              9. Raspberry White Chocolate

              10. Dark Chocolate Raspberry

              11. Milk Chocolate Chipotlé

              12. White Chocolate

              13. Black and White (Extra Dark Chocolate fudge layered on top of White Chocolate fudge)

              14. Butterscotch

              15. Vanilla

              16. Chocolate Orange

              Of course, you’ve also got the “nuts or no nuts” option. I would usually use walnuts upon request in most flavors, though peanuts worked great in the peanut butter flavor, and slivered almonds would work well in some of the others.

              Thumb up Thumb down +33

              • avatarofchaos
                September 15, 2012 at 7:15 pm

                You had me at maple.

                Thumb up Thumb down +19

              • lettucego
                September 15, 2012 at 8:05 pm

                Maple? She had me at milk chocolate. You don’t want to see how much I was salivating by the time I read maple.

                Thumb up Thumb down +17

              • PaganChick
                September 15, 2012 at 8:25 pm

                Hey, what can I say? There’s a REASON I’m a FAT jealous loser :) Bitch.. can COOK.

                Thumb up Thumb down +28

              • Angel Laveaux
                September 15, 2012 at 8:31 pm

                WANT!

                Thumb up Thumb down +5

              • babzilla
                September 15, 2012 at 9:41 pm

                My dad always said ‘never trust a skinny cook’

                Thumb up Thumb down +17

              • mingamonga
                September 15, 2012 at 10:25 pm

                I vote that you create a fudge cookbook to sell on Etsy! You know us fat, jealous losers would be crazy for it.
                And maple is my absolute favorite fudge!

                Thumb up Thumb down +20

              • aliceblue
                September 15, 2012 at 11:05 pm

                Does the chipotle have a touch of cinnamon? Chocolate Orange sounds incredible.

                Thumb up Thumb down +10

              • NatGo
                September 16, 2012 at 12:23 am

                Damn you, woman. Now I must make fudge.

                You know, something about that doesn’t sound right….

                Thumb up Thumb down +13

              • PaganChick
                September 16, 2012 at 9:48 am

                Alice, no, not cinnamon (hubby doesn’t like cinnamon), but there is a little something extra in there ;) I use a bit of nutmeg to round out the chipotlé.

                Thumb up Thumb down +3

              • Zippy
                September 16, 2012 at 11:48 am

                Chocolate, chocolate, eggs, baked beans, sausage and chocolate?

                Thumb up Thumb down +3

          • Cockamamie Jamie
            September 16, 2012 at 3:26 pm

            PaganChick, if you do..please let us know! I don’t buy food on etsy, but would happily buy fudge from you!

            Thumb up Thumb down +1

            • Stretch65
              September 16, 2012 at 4:34 pm

              What Zippy no Spam? Spam,Spam,Spam,Spam,Spam, lactation cookies, Spam,Spam, and Spam

              Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • Chicken Slammer
      September 15, 2012 at 6:45 pm

      Technically food sold is supposed to have listings of ingredients, but in this case, I’d rather know the correct breast size cookies.

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • Stretch65
      September 15, 2012 at 8:54 pm

      Yes! it becomes lactation without representation (I am such a boob)

      Thumb up Thumb down +32

      • aliceblue
        September 15, 2012 at 10:30 pm

        That’s ok, now that you’ve acknowledged the problem you can make the breast of it.

        Thumb up Thumb down +14

  5. Dick Puncher
    September 15, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    *Insert obligatory Milf and Cookies joke here.*

    Thumb up Thumb down +52

  6. jaiejohnson
    September 15, 2012 at 5:43 pm

    How about *these* cookies sugar?!?!

    10 points if you get it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

    • TheLegwarmerCrusader
      September 15, 2012 at 6:41 pm

      I’m here to claim my points!
      Me want snu-snu, out me way!

      Thumb up Thumb down +17

    • Sour_Melissa87
      September 16, 2012 at 7:12 am

      Yes, I’m a delivery boy!

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • kyso42
      September 16, 2012 at 8:38 am

      I did do the nasty in the past-y.

      Verily.

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

  7. itdependsjen
    September 15, 2012 at 5:49 pm

    I had to read it twice since I first thought this had to do with using breast milk IN the cookies. Long night.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

    • Glasgow
      September 15, 2012 at 6:49 pm

      Dont feel bad I thought the same thing. That would be totally gross baked goods with a strangers breastmilk in them. Bleccch!

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

      • SiliconeSunflower
        September 16, 2012 at 4:06 am

        Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

        Thumb up Thumb down -13

        • rushgirl2112
          September 16, 2012 at 11:44 am

          Pasteurized, tested for safety, required to conform to strict FDA guidelines – you’re right, that’s SO much more gross than some random stranger’s bodily fluids.

          Thumb up Thumb down +11

        • Bronc Drywall
          September 22, 2012 at 11:36 am

          Tedious.

          Thumb up Thumb down 0

    • fairlight
      September 22, 2012 at 11:30 am

      I thought the same thing, but then I have an ex-friend who is a militant lactivist, and she actually did that to people and wondered why they were mad at her.

      I’m just glad I wasn’t AT that party.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  8. thecreightonberyl
    September 15, 2012 at 6:22 pm

    “And they taste GREAT with a big glass of Breast Milk!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • aliceblue
      September 15, 2012 at 10:32 pm

      Liquid gold, Texas tea,

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • Zippy
        September 16, 2012 at 11:51 am

        Mammary manna, nipple tipple

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

  9. lemon_bombs
    September 15, 2012 at 6:43 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -22

    • rushgirl2112
      September 16, 2012 at 11:48 am

      Nursing moms need lots of calories. That is not the time to go on a diet.

      If cookies help with milk production and keeping Mommy happy, I say BRING ON THE SUGAR.

      Thumb up Thumb down +11

      • KiaraSera
        September 16, 2012 at 7:08 pm

        Also, I think that people may not realize that breastfeeding is itself an excellent weight loss technique.

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

  10. iamthelaw
    September 15, 2012 at 6:53 pm

    Wait, who is Edith PeedOff?

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  11. chinesereseller
    September 15, 2012 at 7:18 pm

    The breast tasting lactation cookies on Etsy!

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  12. Tante
    September 15, 2012 at 8:39 pm

    I don’t have a Baby, so if I eat them can I sell the milk I produce on Etsy???
    Providing I label it correctly of course.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • realitycheque
      September 16, 2012 at 5:53 am

      I’d like to see what happens when the woman’s husband finds a tub of them in the pantry and devours the lot…..

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • realitycheque
        September 16, 2012 at 5:55 am

        *Disclaimer: Not suitable for children’s school lunchboxes.

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • lettucego
      September 16, 2012 at 10:37 am

      Why, yes. Yes, you can. But Etsy would really prefer that you make artwork with it instead.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • Triscuits
      September 16, 2012 at 8:34 pm

      I don’t actually *have* breasts, but if I eat these I’m sure there’s some really crazy niche porn I could start doing. If my shaky grasp of economics is right, if something is rare then it *must* be valuable. I could make a fortune!

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  13. aliceblue
    September 15, 2012 at 11:06 pm

    “They provide many vitamins, and tasteful to anyone who wants to consume them!”

    I do like a tasteful cookie, most of them nowadays are just so vulgar.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

    • Tante
      September 16, 2012 at 1:14 am

      I saw a cookie that was wearing white shoes. AFTER Labor day!

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • aliceblue
        September 16, 2012 at 9:47 am

        The crumb! Must have a fashion chip on its shoulder.

        Thumb up Thumb down +3

        • Zippy
          September 16, 2012 at 11:53 am

          That was quite the fashion doughn’t.

          Thumb up Thumb down +3

  14. TheSadGirl
    September 16, 2012 at 12:38 am

    Can’t she just give out the recipe, instead of having to go through all of that trouble to deliver titty cookies? Then again, I like to order pens that look like TARDIS, so what do I know?

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

    • All Aboard the Failboat!
      September 16, 2012 at 1:16 am

      TARDIS PEN? WHERE?

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

      • Zippy
        September 16, 2012 at 11:54 am

        You won’t believe how much ink those suckers hold!

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

      • vorpalbunny
        September 26, 2012 at 12:30 am

        I’d laugh at you, but… I’m right there with you.

        I’m pretty sure it’s a real, licensed product actually. At least, I could swear the little “British Shoppe” downtown had something like that. Google around, I’m sure it’ll pop up. ;)

        Frankly though, I’m more interested in the TARDIS cookie jar. And yes, that it is totally a real thing. And licensed! Official and everything! It even makes the VWORP VWORP noise when you open it! :D

        Thumb up Thumb down +1

  15. bschooled
    September 16, 2012 at 9:35 am

    Yummy! I’ll take 2 batches. No, wait…better make that one.

    My areol-eyes are bigger than my stomach.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  16. aliceblue
    September 16, 2012 at 9:49 am

    I’m afraid that these posts have made me look a Cookie Monster in a much less benevolent light.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  17. Tanaquil
    September 16, 2012 at 11:34 pm

    The word “yummy” has been so overused on Etsy that it actually made me mad when it cropped up in this listing, even though it’s actually a legitimate use (as opposed to describing something as YUMMY SOFT or YUMMY VOMIT GREEN or whatever they usually say).

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

Leave a Reply