Is there anything more relaxing than the scent of clams? Sometimes I go down to Red Lobster and take a nap by the dumpster.
I just hang out at Bodega Bay at low tide. Refreshing!
Jam out with your clam out.
the gay man in me is shuddering at the thought… and the shellfish allergic part of me concurs indubitably.
OK, so gay men don’t like it. I still think it will be a great hit with the bi-valve curious.
I agree with Ursusknittus.
But beware! Clams & other bi-valves are only gonna call too much attention to themselves and before you know it, there’s gonna be some octopuses coming in for a kill.
Not to mention squids squirting their ejaculate about the place!
I’ll stick to the piers & waterfronts where the semen are.
Hel-LO Sailor! You can dock in my harbor any old time, as long as you don’t have barnacles.
And remember to swab your poopdeck
Thank you for explaining why the boardwalk is always so sticky. I used to think it was just soda and cotton candy.
If you think the boardwalk is sticky, definitely don’t go under it.
Tell us more about this gay man who is in you…
I think the same store has a Clamato shampoo.
is that what they’re calling bajingo wash these days?
That one’s designed for the cocktail-party set.
wow, I never knew you could use Cocktail sauce to clean your cooter.
It’s ideal for those bloody Mary days.
And especially Shark Week.
Tomato juice gets rid of skunk smell. I’m just saying
better lobster it over there, so it doesn’t stink up the entire house!
Is that what you use if you get sprayed by a Mexican skunk?
I have no idea what that means, but I thumbed it up just because it’s so weird.
Mmmmmm – picante!
The Bearded Clams would be a great name for a woman’s roller derby team
Sorry your joke is going over so many heads, vicogin. I got it.
Is Clamato Mexican? I get the Tomato juice as skunk spray treatment reference, but after that I got confused.
There is a very popular drink that involves mixing cheap beer with clamato, it is popular in Mexico and can actually now be purchased premixed. It also smells like a yeast infection on a Themysciran Fishing Trolly during a sea goddess festival….
Wow. I did not know that. Sounds absolutely disgusting.
Although I’m sure a Big Mac is totally disgusting to them. It is to me.
Funfact: it’s called a “Michelada” or a “Chelada”… It’s supposed to be a good hangover remedy. It can also contain chamoy, various peppers and chili powders, and seasonings, like Maggi and Worcestershire sauce.
Basically, all of the ingredients make me gag.
It motts be because it isn’t cocktail hour yet.
It’s clam o’clock somewhere, Zip.
I didn’ wanna come acrosh as an algae-holic. *hic*
Share it with all your friends: don’t be shellfish!
You’ll have them clam-bering for more.
I mollusk them to be patient!
It’s this season’s mussel have!
Warning: Do not use if suffering from Clamydia.
Don’t walk, scallop down and get some!
You’ve worked hard, you’re en-tidaled.
All these puns are making me crabby!
Aww, you must have a soft shell.
How many clams for this? Men say women smell like fish anyways. Hmmmm.. i need to find a guy that likes to eat seafood!
I know just the guy for you. He lives in a pineapple under the sea. Ask for SPONGE BOB NO PANTS
I detect something fishy here. Just where is the equal opportunity? I demand some that are cockle scented as well!
That would go perfectly with my clam-scented aromatherapy candles.
I love just slipping into a nice hot butter-bath after a long hard day at the docks. It really softens the ol’ shell, you know?
That’s what you get for not realizing it was a TRAAAAAP!
I wrote that with Dr. Zoidberg’s voice in my head.
Now ZOIDBERG is the popular one!
NOW the shoe is on the other CLAW!
I read this entire post in Dr. Zoidberg’s voice in my head.
Purchased at Bed, Boat and Beyond or Yankee Chowder?
I’m burning my favorite clam incense now as a matter of fact, Summer Mollusk. And yes, I am soooo relaxed.
Summer Mollusk? I thought that was the product for that “not so fresh fish feeling?”
No – that’s Massengill
So perfect for the Clamorous life as sung by Fergie…
…Salty, Salty, fuckin’ CLAMOROUS
Red Lobster has clams?
You’ve never been to their “All you can eat soup n’ clam buffet”?
NO but a guy I knew who worked there had crabs and was a hermit
The scent of clam is relaxing?
Oh, so that’s why I get so sleepy after an orgy.
The rufies are supposed to kick in BEFORE the orgy. I think you’re doing it wrong.
…or so I’ve heard.
As clams are relaxing ,rainbow trout will cure your pout
I want to know how you sew rice and flaxseed together. Not to mention the lavender.
And I didn’t know terry pillows were so persnickity about getting their innards washed. No wonder my pillows hate me.
Unless you want dinner. Then it’s keep clam and carry a bucket and rake.
Carp, I gotta get me some of that!
I sea what you did there.
I guess you misspelled ‘see’ just for the halibut?
She did it on Porpoise.
I bet she’s harboring some other puns.
No, I think she’s finished.
She had to stop fjord dinner.
No finished so much as coasting on her previous achievements.
I don’t usually stop until I’ve gone overboard.
It’s got me hooked!
Where did you dig up this fishy listing?
It does seem suspect, but it will have to tide us over until the next crafting disaster floats to the surface.
I sea where this is going.
Oops! *gives Pagan Chick a guilty wave*
I can’t sea reef you did that.
I am now one calm mother shucker! Thanks, Etsy!
At least she didn’t say it was filled with Muslims.
My comment was in reference to a sign a saw that called Obama a “socialist Muslin.”
Buying any fish-based product off Etsy is definately “caviar empto”
shoot. I swear I didn’t see this before my comment WAYYYYY down there…
I really should learn to read ALL the posts before commenting…
on the other hand, GMTA!
What kind of fucking flavor can it be?
Is there also cod aroma?
Tuna is next seasons hot seller.
I heard something’s afoot with sole.
Follow clam I vote for octopussy.
Salmon, scent and color.
Dont pick the wrong scent or you will be scrod.
Isn’t herring the official smell of Finland?
I hear tell they’re coming out with a Bearded Clam scent…it has a much more genitalia aroma.
Where have you been?! Wet-felted cooters came out years ago.
Close your eyes and think of clams
Tipping the Velvet was a great little BBC miniseries, now that you mention it. Mmm, hot lesbian kinky steampunk oyster shuckers…
Is that a little jar of blam next to the mask? To give yourself a plam job with?
For people with mermaid fetishes?
Oh the huge manatee!
“Inside is a muslin bag filled with all the soothing ingredients you’d find at a relaxing New England clambake: lobster, crabs, codfish, oysters, clams, corn, potatoes and seaweed. It’s been sewn in permanently which, upon purchase, becomes your problem.”
I think I would need to “lose” that down a heating vent at my local Bank of America or Comcast office.
But then you’d be shelling out 12 clams for nothing.
I wouldn’t care atoll.
This has inspired me. I had never thought of using the kitty litter box as photo prop before.
Hey, at least the rice, flaxseed, and lavender are in a MUSLIN bag…
With her proofreading skills, that could have gone badly too
Maybe clams are good for her peace of mind.
They help with mine.
I prefer the new England scent to the Manhattan variety. Soothing and creamy.
Wear it while enjoying a “Clambana Split”, the classic New England ice cream treat.
See, you think “Clambana Split” is a joke…just watch it start appearing on menus in Bar Harbor.
I’m such a trendsetter. That’s why I’m so incredibly wealthy.
People pay a lot of clams for my ideas.
Careful, you’re beginning to flounder!
Whale sea about that, Zippy. I’ve still cod it.
You’re krilling it!
On the otter hand, it’s best not to be too conch-y.
That’s usin’ the ol’ brine!
SIGH, you two urchins stop shucking around and bewave yourselves.
Careful, you don’t want us as anemones!
From the makers of the “Tuna Melt Heating Pad” and “Liver N’ Onions Compression Bandages”.
Don’t forget the cabbage scented essential oils.
And “Icy/Hot Anchovie Paste”.
Whats better then a clamoto stained dollar store washcloth? A clamoto stained dollar store washcloth sewn into the shape of a Shucked clam and filled with shit that’s what! You can thank me now, I’ve just invented awesome…
You need to open a Kickstarter campaign to fund getting that description put into a Kickstarter campaign for the product.
I do…I do need to do that… It would make me spend 12 bucks on that shit, but only if she misspelled the word calm on the washcloth too
Something smells fishy…
You’ve got to be squidding!
I harbor a deep sus-fish-ion that an ocean of puns are on the horizon.
You mean that you have an eeling that cod soon?
Wow, looking at posts above, I sea you shore were right.
The clam before the strom.
Just wondering, do they make white one for New Englanders and red ones for those living in Manhattan?
Oh,and even if there wasn’t the typo, WTF does “calm” smell like? (and can they change its size)?
I imagine its like a roasted turkey-scented L-tryptophan fog…. lovely.
Damn it. I saw this at that precarious time of day when my impressionable mind can only think about what to have for laters (read: 2pm – 6pm) and now I MUST HAVE CLAMS.
“Sewn together so you can remove it for the terry pillow to wash.” What means this? Did Yoda write ir?
it was personalized with calm..now it’s not? I think you can put your calm away, I don’t want to know where it’s been.
It means that YOU remove the bag so it can be washed BY the terry cloth. The terry cloth can’t remove the bag because it (the terry cloth) lacks opposable thumbs and doesn’t like to be reminded of that fact.
Terry Cloth is like the wimpier cousin to the Brawny Paper Towel lumberjack.
I don’t CaribBEAN what they say, when you surf Regretsy you learn more than in any school.
Before putting on your lovely scented eye mask you may want to glance at this poster:
Somebody’s been to Ivar’s!
Puns aside, which oFISHally I think are great…
… “Hi there! Is it possible for you to do the scented masks in just the herb scent without the clam? I’m shopping for my mum, and she is allergic to shellfish. Thank you!”
I am a bad, bad girl. XD
Yeah right, this was keep clam and someone posted it a few comments above. Remind me to spend the evenings drinking instead of working from now on, and I’ll oblige.
Oh various deities save me I am bad!
“Hello ,l can make you this mask
Without the embroidered clam on it ..it would be 10.00 and not.12..if u still want it just buy it and l will refund your two dollars back ..it will be 7to 10 days
Thank you (seller)”
Bless her heart, she has no idea! NOW what?
Reo’s going to the dark side…
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