3rd Annual Mother of All 9/11 Posts
If there is one thing in this life that I truly appreciate, it’s misguided self-expression. From bad crafting to terrible singing to hideous tattoos, I love it all. The only caveat for me is that it has to be sincere. It can’t just be horrible, it has to mean it. Otherwise, it’s just parody. Which is something else entirely.
At no time in our history has here been a finer context for the creation of such heartfelt obliviousness as the yearly commemoration of 9/11. And so, for the third year in a row, I’m going to subject you to an extensive, handpicked assortment of Nine-Elevenalia.
Now, I realize that this pushes the envelope for some of you, and I can only say that I am not minimizing the event. Instead, I’m focusing on the strange and often inappropriate ways that people express themselves in situations like these. Like every Regretsy post, I’m only the curator of this exhibit.
Because there’s so much to look at, I’ve taken the liberty of grouping these things into the following categories:
GIFS
Sparkly gifs are probably one of the most prolific areas of 9-11 Tragicrafting, and I’m not surprised. After all, everyone needs a fun way to say, “America is awesome!” or “Sorry your friends died in that building thingy.”
While there are thousands of glittery memorial snowglobes and weeping eagles on the internet, I only have the stomach to show you a handful. Please download them and put them all over your Facebook today, if only to annoy the terrorists in your extended network.
The Day America Cried™
Or wait, maybe it was The Day the Angels Cried™
Or The Day Eagles Sat on Snow Globes That Covered New York™
Damn, the eagles were really busy that day
Oh, I remember all right. Giant eagles, swooping down with flags.
Freaked me right the fuck out.
They weren’t blown up, they were “escorted.” Come on, it was fun!
God even gave them corsages.
Classy. I think Cafe Press has this on a thong.
NEVER FORGET THE ROSE IN THE WATER
NEVER FORGET YOUR NAME
NEVER FORGET THE HARRY POTTER FONT
NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO READ THAT
Hey all you dead guys checking your Facebook in heaven?
Wait for us, ok? kthxbai!
Who doesn’t remember where they were on the 6th anniversary of 9/11?
Best wishes on this special day! There’s cake in the break room!
BONUS: After showing you these hideous gifs last year, I asked you to come up with your own sparkly way to salute 9/11, preferably using Justin Bieber, kitties and piano keys. Here are my favorites.
- Click thumbnails for a larger image and to leave a comment
MUSIC
Of all the tragedies that came out of 9/11, nothing is sadder than these.
TATTOOS
When selecting a tattoo design, it’s important to choose something you would enjoy looking at for the rest of your life.
Unless you put it on your back. Then it’s your wife’s problem.
- See many more in the American Pride Gallery
MERCHANDISE
PERSONAL EXPRESSION
And of course, this.
INADVERTENTLY OFFENSIVE
You could make the argument that some of these images were designed to provoke an emotional response, but I think they stop short of pure trolling, which is the gold standard. I also think some of this was pure stupidity, which is not the same as being an asshole.
Also, a few of these were created long before 9/11, and are just creepy, all things considered.
DELIBERATELY OFFENSIVE
I’m sure there are many hundreds of files I missed, but this is all I have the stomach for, and it’s almost 9/12.
I hope you see at least one new thing here, and that you never forget whatever it was that you were supposed to remember.
September 11, 2012 at 11:13 am
You had me at “Because there’s so much to look at, I’ve taken the liberty of grouping these things into the following categories”.
September 11, 2012 at 11:19 am
You had me at “inadvertently offensive”. I live for that shit.
September 11, 2012 at 12:11 pm
Can I take you for a ride on the deliberately offensive side of life?
September 11, 2012 at 12:14 pm
Somebody wasted time making that stupid thing? Even if it only took 2 minutes, that’s 2 minutes they’ll never get back.
September 11, 2012 at 12:32 pm
September 11, 2012 at 1:53 pm
Oh, was that your design? I thought you posted something you found.
September 11, 2012 at 2:01 pm
Stop ruining 9/11 for people, Matt!
September 11, 2012 at 2:10 pm
Never forget: Matt ruined 911 for everybody.
September 11, 2012 at 4:29 pm
…But there’s no sexual harassment there to make the panda sad…
September 11, 2012 at 9:18 pm
Consider yourself virtually groped.
September 12, 2012 at 8:18 am
A friend of mine posted this on his FB. Apparently one of the cosmetology students wanted to pay tribute to the victims of 9/11 in their own way…
September 11, 2012 at 11:14 am
I was waiting for this
What took so long??
September 11, 2012 at 12:49 pm
I know it wasn’t because she forgot. That’s the one take-away from all this.
September 11, 2012 at 1:26 pm
That one always gets me. Who the hell is going to forget something that enormously tragic? Stop telling me not to forget!
September 11, 2012 at 11:29 pm
And how COULD one forget, when it’s all over the place? There was even some old guy on a street corner in town with a big-ass wooden cross propped against one shoulder and a “9-11 NEVER FORGET PRAY sign at his feet (there were more signs behind it, but that was the only one I could read.) You’d have to be pretty damn oblivious to not notice any of the ballyhoo.
September 12, 2012 at 8:40 pm
Had it not been for “Remember the Alamo,” I’d have forgotten it.
September 16, 2012 at 4:55 pm
and whatever happened on the 5th of november. i remember remember that, too.
(my fav part of making this comment is i was married on 5th of nov and live in england.)
September 11, 2012 at 1:29 pm
You forgot- you can also take-away a free medium fries from Burger King, Zippy.
September 11, 2012 at 2:05 pm
I will never fryget to get fries! Especially now that I have that awesome mnemonic device!
September 11, 2012 at 3:05 pm
Those medium fries will go great with my free bowl of soup!
And dammit, why only medium fries, why not large fries? This is merka, our boys are dying for our freedom! This is an insult! You know what? Keep your dirty commie fries, Ima take my bowl of good ole merkin soup and go!
September 11, 2012 at 5:07 pm
Damn you “french” (socialist/terrorist) fries!!
September 11, 2012 at 10:00 pm
Mmmmmmmmm, merkin soup.
September 11, 2012 at 11:16 am
Did I just forget the one of Jesus consoling Santa or is that a recent find? Good lord that’s sacrilawesome.
September 11, 2012 at 11:23 am
A lot of Santa’s family members were escorted to heaven on that day.
September 11, 2012 at 12:11 pm
Blitzen, Donner (he was with an entire party that went down that day), Cupid and Comet. Oh, and I almost forgot- Rudolph was lost that day as well. A baker’s dozen of elves died, too. My point is, Santa certainly has good reason to hug Jesus.
September 11, 2012 at 6:02 pm
Psh! Still not a good excuse for not bringing me the red bike I asked for.
September 11, 2012 at 11:26 am
I’m with ya there. Of all of these, that one was, IMHO, one of the most mind boggling of the “not intentionally stupid, but nonetheless…” catagory
WTF does Santa have to do with ANY of this???
September 11, 2012 at 11:26 am
I that one is the most WTF. Given this line up, I think that says something.
September 11, 2012 at 12:50 pm
Never forget!!
September 11, 2012 at 12:56 pm
I bet the Jesus-Santa one sent lots of kids right from having a few doubts about one guy delivering presents all over the world in one night, straight into full-on godless atheism, without even a “I believe in a higher power but don’t go to church” stage.
September 11, 2012 at 11:21 pm
I love the fuck out of this comment…. Just throwin that out there.
September 11, 2012 at 1:09 pm
Not just regular, plain old Jesus. That was Hunchback Jesus, related to the Notre Dame Hunchbacks and Igor family.
September 11, 2012 at 2:08 pm
Quasimartyr?
September 11, 2012 at 11:16 am
I’m still having seizures from the sparkling gifs. Hang on…
September 11, 2012 at 11:33 pm
I hear ya. By the time I got through all the gifs and looked at another browser tab, I’d forgotten that the rest of the world wasn’t coated in glitter, and the visual silence was glorious.
September 11, 2012 at 11:16 am
I have been waiting for this all DAY!
Time to lose some friends on facebook
September 11, 2012 at 11:58 am
Someone from my Facebook who is VERY VERY into talking about 9-11 and how she was there (supposedly since her story of where exactly changes frequently) has been posting very sincere crying eagle pictures all day.
The kicker is the text she sent a mutual friend: “Sometimes I am amazed that my name is not on the 9/11 memorial. I don’t know how I got out from under that tower without getting killed.”
September 11, 2012 at 12:16 pm
One of my Facebook friends posted a photo of some rescue dogs from 9/11. The comment below it said, “They ate heroes in their own way” Spell check anyone?
September 11, 2012 at 12:18 pm
Ouch. That’s ruff.
September 11, 2012 at 12:57 pm
I guess they will Never Fur-get
September 11, 2012 at 1:08 pm
And we should also paws to remember.
September 11, 2012 at 2:09 pm
K9-11
September 11, 2012 at 9:38 pm
Zippy, you are such a wag.
September 11, 2012 at 10:38 pm
It all doesn’t sit well with me. It makes me shake and roll over
September 11, 2012 at 1:46 pm
There’s certain ways to eat a hero?
I can just imagine overhearing a streetwalker say, “I don’t give a fugk if you’re Supaman. Twenty dollah only gits you ’round the world’ once!”
September 11, 2012 at 9:42 pm
Of course, grab it firmly with both hands, squeeze hard, open your mouth reeall wide, and sink your teeth into it, riip and ….Oh, why are you guys cringing? We ARE talking the sandwich, right?
September 12, 2012 at 7:34 am
In New England, we call them “grinders”. My favorite “grinder” is Martin Luther King, Jr.
September 12, 2012 at 1:16 am
Are you sure that’s accidental?
September 15, 2012 at 10:55 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 11, 2012 at 3:46 pm
Urg. Frustrating, but I’d go easy on her. It’s possible that over the years she has genuinely convinced herself that she was actually there, which can be just as traumatizing as a real memory (see: people who are convinced of alien abductions or past child molestation via poorly handled regression therapy)
September 11, 2012 at 8:14 pm
As soon as she stops posting new pictures of the towers (we’re at 37 today so far) I’ll cut her some slack.
September 12, 2012 at 1:45 pm
Thats…I….wow.
September 11, 2012 at 10:51 pm
I have a Facebook friend like that… Kinda wish he made onto the memorial after all the douchebag, self important bullshit he’s posted all day. Also a claim he was “there” and helped dig survivors out. True story is, he drove to NY, had no special glittery gifts to bring to the table and so they sent him on his merry way. He now claims he has the “9/11 syndrome” that some of the long term rescuers are dealing with now. Dude, you might have dug through a dumpster at a rest stop in Pennsylvania, but ya weren’t digging through ground zero.
September 11, 2012 at 12:01 pm
Why is it that when I’m about to post something here, someone else has already said it?
Am I that much a follower?
September 11, 2012 at 1:02 pm
I hate when (looking for) work gets in the way of important stuff.
September 11, 2012 at 11:17 am
911 made Batman cry? YOU BASTARDS!!!!!!!!
September 11, 2012 at 11:28 am
And gave him cameltoe.
September 11, 2012 at 12:47 pm
You made me look
September 11, 2012 at 2:42 pm
The Bat Cave just took on a new meaning.
September 11, 2012 at 8:12 pm
Oh boy. I looked too.
Those bitches also made Santa cry!
September 11, 2012 at 3:56 pm
I can’t decide if that tattoo or the one with the skeleton arm bursting out of the guy’s bicep and waving an American flag is my favorite.
September 11, 2012 at 11:44 pm
My favorite is the one with Calvin. His smile makes it look like he was responsible, and there’s logically no other reason for that particular version of him to have been included.
Unless Calvin was there first, then 9/11 happened, and the guy though “…I just had the most brilliant idea for a tattoo ever”. Which could just go to show that profoundly bad ideas will continue to snowball if left untreated.
September 11, 2012 at 11:17 am
Is that Santa Claus in Jesus’ arms crying over a decapitated child/elf, or do I need new glasses?
September 11, 2012 at 11:22 am
Maybe it’s Chuck Norris dressed like Jesus. They put out Halloween AND Christmas stuff about now in stores….
September 11, 2012 at 3:15 pm
I had to blow it up to about 200% to see for myself but it’s his hat on the left and his gloves on the right. They painted the fur a blonde color so it looks like hair. It’s quite the unfortunate color for a Santa hat!
September 11, 2012 at 11:18 am
No Chuck Norris. What a letdown.
September 11, 2012 at 11:21 am
How exactly does tea commemorate 911?
“Sorry about your loss. Here’s some tea.”
September 11, 2012 at 11:30 am
That would probably work if we were British.
September 11, 2012 at 11:38 am
I don’t know about the rest of the world, but in the UK tea solves any problem.
September 11, 2012 at 5:31 pm
This is ‘MERIKA, we don’t want no sissy tea.
Only Four-Loko can solve this.
September 11, 2012 at 7:42 pm
And I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I chung energy beer.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.
And I gladly stand up,
next to you and get shitfaced still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.
September 11, 2012 at 7:43 pm
*chug
dammit
September 11, 2012 at 9:05 pm
You just made me buy a Chevy truck, you fuck!
September 11, 2012 at 9:43 pm
I can hear the eagles crying in the distance.
September 11, 2012 at 11:39 am
Have you learned nothing from Sheldon Cooper? “social protocol states when a friend is upset, you offer them a hot beverage, such as tea.”
September 11, 2012 at 3:16 pm
Remember, this is also not an option
September 11, 2012 at 11:40 am
“Celebrate the moments of your life!”
Okay, so that’s International Coffees, and not tea, but still..
September 11, 2012 at 11:41 am
Or soup. Don’t forget the free soup. Grief must be healed with hot liquids, I guess.
September 11, 2012 at 11:57 am
They’re comforting!
September 11, 2012 at 9:44 pm
As long as it it chicken soup – that cures all; even 9-11
September 11, 2012 at 4:25 pm
What? Never heard of the Boston Tea Party? Although, I doubt that was in the mind of the seller.
September 11, 2012 at 8:59 pm
Surely that wasn’t a HOT liquid? I mean, I’m not really up on US history, not being merkin, but…
September 11, 2012 at 10:43 pm
Because 3,000 took their final Nestea plunge?!
September 11, 2012 at 11:22 am
I’m surprised this one didn’t make the cut –
September 11, 2012 at 11:27 am
It will next year
September 11, 2012 at 12:19 pm
Wow, that’s klassy.
September 11, 2012 at 12:57 pm
She looks really bored. Just another day at the office, I guess.
September 11, 2012 at 1:11 pm
I thought it was bad enough that porn had raised pizza delivery boy job expectations to unrealistic heights.
September 11, 2012 at 1:31 pm
Plumbers, too.
September 11, 2012 at 3:18 pm
And cable installers….
September 11, 2012 at 5:11 pm
But not Regretsy comment writers.
September 11, 2012 at 5:36 pm
“Hmm, you can’t afford that two-headed giraffe? Perhaps we can come to some other arrangement.”
September 11, 2012 at 5:54 pm
Yeah, we get nothing but the satisfaction that comes with completely impersonal random joke attempts. The camaraderie is underwhelming.
September 11, 2012 at 7:16 pm
That’s right, never misunderestimate our sheer dedication to the cause of sn*rk.
September 11, 2012 at 9:10 pm
It’s not impromptu threesomes in pudding but it will do.
September 12, 2012 at 7:29 am
You triangles and your threesomes
September 12, 2012 at 1:22 pm
Octorgy at Melegrana’s!
September 11, 2012 at 11:28 am
Helen,what the hell is a “slow globe?” I guess if it was a fast globe the eagle couldnt land on it.
September 11, 2012 at 11:34 am
GOD DAMN IT
September 11, 2012 at 11:39 am
ah, ya fixed it.
September 11, 2012 at 1:13 pm
This is going onto your performance review, Missy! If it happens again it might be reflected in your pay adjustment this year. too.
September 11, 2012 at 1:33 pm
Just don’t report it to Al Gore. He might just shut down the whole internet over this one.
September 11, 2012 at 7:45 pm
They prefer the term “challenged globes” or “special needs globes” thankyouverymuch.
September 11, 2012 at 11:28 am
How did I miss the Twin Towers Tetris before?!?!? That was fantastic!
September 11, 2012 at 4:03 pm
That is one of my favorites. Whenever I see it I just HAVE to watch. Get’s me every time.
September 11, 2012 at 11:29 am
Does that video NEVER end???
September 11, 2012 at 11:32 am
I watched it, got bored, started scrolling, then couldn’t find it again to pause it so I just muted my computer. It has to stop eventually, right?
September 11, 2012 at 12:58 pm
I honestly could’t last any longer than the point where he was standing in American-flag-colored toxic spillage.
September 11, 2012 at 1:16 pm
He just keeps on singing forever, yet half the run time is credits!
September 11, 2012 at 11:29 am
Oh gawd yes. Like I said yesterday, comedy is supposed to be transgressive. And boy, is this shit ever.
September 11, 2012 at 12:32 pm
And that music video…good grief…the guy’s sincere and on Youtube a lot of people seem to be taking it 100% seriously…but holy shit, that’s like an Onion parody of beat-it-over-your-head patriotism. It’s so tacky, maudlin, self-important, and openly manipulative that it’s hard not to laugh at it.
September 11, 2012 at 4:09 pm
Yep. The leftover ’80s hair, the terrible visual effects, the constipated look he gets when he sings, the overwrought lyrics–if you told me it was a parody, I’d believe you.
September 11, 2012 at 11:31 am
I think the category for the smoking/nature ones is “expecting you to find us profound and clever when actually we’re just assholes.”
September 11, 2012 at 11:32 am
The .gifs made me giggle. And then I felt bad. And then I scrolled down…
And now I’ve decided it will never be too early to start drinking today.
September 11, 2012 at 4:06 pm
I started at 1 p.m. because that’s 5 p.m. in New York.
September 11, 2012 at 9:14 pm
You waited til the P.M. numbers? That’s crazy will power!
September 11, 2012 at 11:32 am
“Timmy, what would you like for your birthday?”
“I want to be able to hug Uncle Bob again.”
“I’m so sorry. I can’t make that happen, sweetheart. He’s in heaven. Is there anything else you might want? Anything at all?”
“I guess a free medium fries from Burger King would help numb the pain.”
September 11, 2012 at 11:34 am
I actually like the Lego one under the Self Expression category. However the Lego ad was just wrong. >_<
September 11, 2012 at 3:49 pm
I found quite a lot of the self expression ones kinda moving, in their way. I mean, all jokes aside*, it is a huge emotional burden on our culture and it’s interesting to see the different constructive ways that people have chosen to deal with it.
(*of course, the jokes and mockery are our way of dealing with it
)
September 12, 2012 at 5:54 am
I agree, the Lego model is stunning (in a good way).
September 11, 2012 at 11:35 am
If we don’t make sparkle GIFs the terrorists win
September 11, 2012 at 11:39 am
Thank you.
Some of this was absolutely amazing shit.
So horrible crap, I could not even if I tried the worse.
Case studies that prove the bad taste and
unworthiness of vitality.
Is there hope for mankind?
Plague would be a blessing.
September 11, 2012 at 11:46 am
I remember poem…
Remembered a poem, which I learned at school
When came to vomit
I woke up
I aimed dish
fuck, it was not in the
I was trying to hit a guinea pig cage.
but messed carpets
Perkele, I was badly again.
September 11, 2012 at 1:20 pm
I’m almost positive this is a track on a Frank Zappa album word-for-fucking-word!
September 11, 2012 at 1:34 pm
Now you’re talkin’ my language!
September 11, 2012 at 2:35 pm
Oh, yes, I remember the nuns teaching us that poem in third grade.
Perkele, indeed.
September 11, 2012 at 10:47 pm
I have seen a nun.
I was then 27 years old.
September 12, 2012 at 2:47 am
I checked.
There are 14 Catholic nuns.
September 11, 2012 at 10:51 pm
On the positive side, if 9/11 can be treated with humor. It shows that people become healthy, the attack, which they are faced. Humour is a good way to deal with difficult issues.
But then, Santa Claus and Jesus in the same weeping together, it is not a comedy, although it is ridiculous. It’s just bad taste.
September 11, 2012 at 11:48 am
The “inadvertently offensive” come off waaay more offensive to me for some reason.
September 11, 2012 at 4:02 pm
It’s because you can tune out the deliberately offensive. “Yep, he’s trying to be offensive. Whatever.” But the inadvertantly offensive? It takes you by surprise. It tackles you from behind, forces you down and rubs your nose in its offensiveness, all the time yelling, “THERE’S NOTHING WRONG HERE!” Just like that one guy in college.
September 11, 2012 at 9:54 pm
But, but, it’s Cookie Monster. He’s not offensive, just a bit greedy.
September 12, 2012 at 6:00 am
I’d say the Cookie Monster one isn’t even inadvertently offensive, unless you’re deliberately looking for something to be offended by. The magazine’s dated 1976, fergawdsake.
The PIA airline ad is from 1979. Not offensive either, but weirdly prescient.
September 11, 2012 at 11:48 am
Kenneth Cole used September 11th as a spring board for for an ad campaign. There was a full sized ad in a magazine that read “On September 12th 2001, we were all reminded that life is not a dress rehearsal.” That’s clever KC. Playing off the word ‘dress’ for a clothing and accessory company. I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE!
September 11, 2012 at 3:27 pm
Yeah, it was actually a billboard I thought. Nothing like a skinny chick in a tight dress eating strawberries and “On Sept. 12th, families returned to the dining room table. TODAY IS NOT A DRESS REHEARSAL.” to bring it home! I did, however, love the equality billboard they put up a few months ago.
http://queerty-prodweb.s3.amazonaws.com/wp/docs/2011/08/kenneth_cole_billboard.jpg
September 11, 2012 at 3:31 pm
Yeah, it was actually a billboard I thought. Nothing like a skinny chick in a tight dress eating strawberries and “On Sept. 12th, families returned to the dining room table. TODAY IS NOT A DRESS REHEARSAL.” to bring it home! I did, however, love the equality billboard they put up a few months ago.
September 11, 2012 at 12:02 pm
I will never forget the day my screen name changed. Thanks to this post, 2 years ago…
September 11, 2012 at 12:04 pm
Never forget your name. Never.
September 11, 2012 at 12:06 pm
Also, if it’s not too much trouble, don’t forget my name as well.
September 11, 2012 at 1:23 pm
Never, eaglet!
September 11, 2012 at 8:30 pm
With a name like Johnson, it has to be good.
Wait…
September 11, 2012 at 10:51 pm
Perkelele hope I used that correctly
September 11, 2012 at 12:11 pm
I knew Will Smith had something to do with it. I’ve been hearing those theories for years; I was sold back in ’02 when someone said they went to the wreckage site and found the Fresh Prints.
September 11, 2012 at 7:59 pm
It only confirms my steady insistence that Will Smith is actually the root of ALL evil.
If people go see his movies, the terrorists win.
September 11, 2012 at 10:52 pm
9/11 is Independence Day?
September 11, 2012 at 12:12 pm
Gotta laugh a little. Otherwise I’ll scream. Thanks for this. I hate this day!
September 11, 2012 at 12:17 pm
Jesus comforting Santa is the point where I started crying with laughter, and that’s a good thing. Laughter is as much of a relief as drinking, and we don’t have to worry about knocking over any glasses. Then again, drinking is the reason a friend of mine didn’t show up for work that morning and is twitchy with survivor guilt now instead of dead or injured, so I guess drinking wins because a hangover can save your life.
September 11, 2012 at 1:24 pm
Here’s to alcohol; the solution to, and cause of, all the world’s problems.
-Homer
You know which one I mean.
September 11, 2012 at 1:35 pm
He said that right after he encountered the Sirens?
September 11, 2012 at 2:52 pm
He heard Sirens and pulled his Odyssey over but, Psyche!
September 11, 2012 at 3:01 pm
You would, too.
September 11, 2012 at 12:18 pm
I have never been more excited to click on a link entitled ‘these’(or anything else for that matter)in all of my life. I was not disappointed.
September 11, 2012 at 12:28 pm
I cry on this day every year… with laughter, thanks to Regretsy. Never Forgetsy!!
September 11, 2012 at 1:28 pm
I just hope that, with every passing year, a few more 9/11 sheet cakes go unsold until there are no more 9/11 sheet cakes.
September 11, 2012 at 1:38 pm
Honestly. People grieve in strange ways. A 911 cake is perfectly appropriate to some people. I don’t know any of these people, but I guess they do exist.
September 11, 2012 at 1:54 pm
September 11, 2012 at 2:22 pm
Needs more River Song swan-diving off a collapsing tower.
September 11, 2012 at 3:28 pm
Shit. It really does.
September 11, 2012 at 10:53 pm
Melody Pond FTW!!!
September 12, 2012 at 5:25 am
Too subtle.
September 11, 2012 at 2:08 pm
For the holiday season of 2011 I was working in an urban mall. One day my boss and I were going to the food court when we walked by the Frederick’s of Hollywood. My boss dropped to her knees laughing so hard she started hyperventilating. I asked what was wrong and she kept pointing to the window display.
There, on a mannequin, was a g-string with an American flag and the phrase “Never Forget 9-11-2001″
She bought a pair as a Christmas gift for her 75 year old mother.
September 11, 2012 at 2:35 pm
The other thing I’d never forget was seeing a 75 year-old wearing a (pair of?) g-string. But I would try really, really hard.
September 12, 2012 at 4:34 pm
Well, that’s one way to make towers fall, I guess.
…I can’t believe that was all I could think of in reply.
September 11, 2012 at 2:17 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 11, 2012 at 3:11 pm
IS that Gotye singing in that video? Something about the teeth…
September 11, 2012 at 3:54 pm
Not kidding they really did serve cake and icecream at work for it today…
September 11, 2012 at 4:02 pm
I was stationed at Ft. Carson, CO on 9/11/2001. Just a few days after, I remember it was the national day of mourning declared by Pres. Bush….my husband’s unit was having a “Mandatory Fun Day.” I’m NOT shitting you. Everyone and their families were required to show up and play ball, stupid games, and BBQ.
On the national day of mourning…..Everyone else on the whole damn base was observing that, and here WE are playing volleyball…because it was mandatory.
September 11, 2012 at 4:43 pm
Actually this is how I’ve always wanted my funeral to be. The only obstacle is how to hide what they’re there for up to the end of the evening, but I’ll think of a way.
September 15, 2012 at 11:05 am
something about the phrase “mandatory fun” seems oxymoronic.
September 11, 2012 at 4:06 pm
I’m going to quote a post I saw today, because it’s so freaking on the ball
my guess is if people lost a loved one they don’t need overblown, shallow memorials to remind them of what they had. I could be wrong, but the “joke” isn’t that people died, it’s that peolpe have turned 9/11 into a way of saying “I’m more patriotic than you”
September 11, 2012 at 10:23 pm
This is where I got the quote from – in the comments section from this article in The Onion https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151190905719497&set=a.71757474496.64600.20950654496&type=1
Flouncers galore!
September 11, 2012 at 10:57 pm
must
grow
more
thumbs!
September 12, 2012 at 1:27 am
Yep; they’re saying the “memorial” is going to cost $60 million per year to run. It looks like they not only didn’t learn the lessons of Vietnam, they didn’t learn the lessons of the Vietnam memorial.
Also, they ripped off the name of the day from Patriots’ Day, which is April 19 (the anniversary of the Battles of Lexington & Concord). It’s a state holiday in Massachusetts and Maine.
September 14, 2012 at 12:02 pm
See, the April Patriots’ Day is actually celebrating literal patriots.
It’s like this Patriots’ Day is called Patriot’s Day because they didn’t know what else to call it. “Twin Tower & Pentagon & Field in Pennsylvania Day” doesn’t have the same ring as “Pearl Harbor Day.” Calling September 11th “9/11 Day” is ridiculous. Name it Survivor Day, what about the victims? Name it Victim’s Day, what about the survivors? Terror Day?
I’m guessing “America Day” came up in the round-table discussion on what to call the “holiday”.
September 11, 2012 at 4:25 pm
We are one year closer to a long 9/11 weekend with BBQs,sparklers and roadtrips! It’s like 2 Memorial Days!
September 12, 2012 at 6:33 pm
Isn’t it nice to know that we’ll likely still be alive to hear the following conversation at least once?
“Happy Nine Eleven! Did you check out the sale at the GAP? OMFG. EVERYTHING’S NINE DOLLARS AND ELEVEN CENTS! Man, I’m so glad nine eleven falls on a Monday this year. Road trip baby!”
September 11, 2012 at 4:43 pm
Here’s an unintentionally awful act of solidarity from Ecuador (the visuals alone are all you need to enjoy this, though the lyrics are a treat to those of you who know Spanish).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NecoBo0BhEk
September 11, 2012 at 5:47 pm
I tried to watch, but I’m apparently still bothered by the real videos of that time, even if presented with upbeat sounding Ecuadorian music.
However,
NO PUEDE SER – NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
September 11, 2012 at 5:14 pm
I know it’s not a 9/11 video but Dennis Madelone’s video reminded me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=–Vaz9jW054
September 11, 2012 at 5:28 pm
I guess they didn’t need to obsess that much about 12-7-41 and make T-shirts and sheet cakes and other tragicrafts because they just had too much fucking moxie.
September 11, 2012 at 9:08 pm
And yet, Americans still think the war started in 1941…
September 12, 2012 at 1:29 pm
Well, the rest of the world was pretty much keeping it to themselves up until that date. Seems a little selfish but we were able to live without it.
September 12, 2012 at 5:30 am
I seem to remember some Pearl Harbor commemorative pineapple upside-down cakes and Hawaiian print shirts with dive bombing airplanes on them. But maybe I dreamed that.
September 12, 2012 at 7:40 am
Or maybe that was the time I took that shitty Carnival Cruise with all those douchebags.
September 12, 2012 at 1:33 pm
Was that on the “Carnival Hentai”?
September 12, 2012 at 4:44 pm
Man, what do you drink before bed? I want your dreams. You can’t go wrong with Hawaiian shirts.
September 11, 2012 at 6:09 pm
Etsy’s front page is semi-patriotic right now … inspiring more items for our viewing pleasure next year I guess
September 11, 2012 at 7:12 pm
This is me and my baby last year in front of a real live 9-11 GINGERBREAD HOUSE.
Here it is close-up. Shit like this is the only good thing about living in Arizona. Conservative bakers. Eating it could make you fat, Jealous Losers.
September 11, 2012 at 7:18 pm
Love the side-eye expression on your child!
September 11, 2012 at 7:23 pm
Why the hell did this post make me hungry?
September 11, 2012 at 8:24 pm
I love the 9/11 Regretsy posts. It makes things awkward when someone mentions 9/11 and I just have images of sparkling Justin Biebers and glittery crying eagles in my head though. Smiling and trying not to giggle is not an appropriate response to someone talking about a tragedy. Just FYI.
September 11, 2012 at 8:31 pm
I am ending two and a half years of lurking to tell you all that I just listened to 8 minutes and 41 seconds of a song called “Unborn Baby of Tower One.”
September 12, 2012 at 5:37 am
“I am ending two and a half years of lurking to tell you [...]”
Some very fine kitsch line has just been crossed, isn’t it?
September 11, 2012 at 9:42 pm
REGRETSY IS AN INSIDE JOB!
September 11, 2012 at 10:47 pm
So my best friend that I lost at the Pentagon that day would be looking at this page saying ‘Holy Hell! Thank God they are only posting New York shit!’
September 19, 2012 at 3:46 pm
My uncle and two cousins who died in the first tower, would probably laugh their heads off at this then kick the shit out of the idiots who say that 911 was done by the Jews because in fact, we’re all Jewish on that side of my family. I have to shake my head at all this idiocy that people throw out and the fact of the matter was, if you were there at Ground Zero when it happened, there is a very slim chance you lived. But thats entirely another point.
September 11, 2012 at 11:17 pm
Damn it… I’ve been waiting all damn year for this special edition of “we will never forgetsy”!! Instead l, I had to go play ER nurse for 12 hours and fight back the zombie apocalypse that was our lobby tonight, or at least that’s the game I was playing in my head to keep from losing my shit and walking out. This, though, was totally worth the wait!! I laughed so hard I snorted at the Taliban cat .gif and the gigantic rose in the harbor. And oh, the horror of the tattoos… Props for making that your permanent body art, but you really DO get what you pay for. This whole post made up for most of my horrific night of being screamed at, puked on, threatened, and having to institute a new policy mid shift, with an overflowing ER, and computers that were going down intermittently. This mostly made up for it… Thanks Helen!!!
September 12, 2012 at 1:38 pm
Taliban Cat gets 83 Unspayed Persians in Paradise.
September 11, 2012 at 11:18 pm
http://youtu.be/NecoBo0BhEk
Have you seen this yet? It’s in Spanish, but the cheesiness is universal. It is about a FICTICIOUS girlfriend this twerp had that worked somewhere in the twin towers.
September 11, 2012 at 11:39 pm
[(Awful) computer voice]
Tuesday, September 11th 2001
Being 8 and 46 in the morning
United STates suffered the biggest offensive of its history
that culminated in the destruction of the Twin Towers of New York
[Delfin]
It can’t be!
No!
All the world confulted
My god
Help me
When I went to look for you
I didn’t believe what I was seeing
The towers in flames
filled with black smoke
and you in that place
Oh my God
Ay, ay, ay.
From Ecuador, South America, Delfin sings for you.
When I went to New York
I thought of finding my love
A call, I received it
She only said “goodbye, my love”
Who knows the truth? who did it? And why did they do it?
It cannot be, my god.
Help me.
In that moment, [nothing] could save her, not money nor religion.
I know you rest buried in the rubble of [the] Twin Towers.
How much I wanted to be with you
I never thought you would die
September 11, 2012 at 11:39 pm
Lovely god, it cannot be
only crying I will be able to forget
I want to pay tribute to all the fellow countrymen who lost their lives on September 11th 2001
looking for an american dream
Ay, ay, ay.
For all the friends in the United States, listen to it, strong, compadre.
From Ecuador with a lot of love.
Delfin to the end.
See you, ciao.
September 12, 2012 at 12:44 am
And, the true WIN of all this is that I fell asleep reading this post, and GUESS WHO came to make a guests appearance in my dreams?!?! Crying glitter tears bald eagle!!! YES!! I begged him not to go, because then “the terrorists would win”, but alas, with a large, pixelated glitter tear in his eye, he flew out of my misguided dreams. I can only hope for next year…
Wow, you guys have seriously FUCKED UP my subconscious!!! If that wasn’t a serious cry for help, I don’t know what is!!
September 12, 2012 at 12:46 am
I’m certain I’ll be receiving a “cease and desist” Order shortly.
September 12, 2012 at 1:46 am
Okay, I’ll admit that I’m not wearing my glasses, so I could be way off base here, but in the third tattoo down on the right hand side, why is the woman in the green shirt vomiting on the fireman’s head?
September 12, 2012 at 6:05 am
Well spotted.
September 12, 2012 at 6:11 am
I have to admit that — not being in the US — I did in fact forget. I was well aware of September 11th coming up, but only because it was a work deadline.
Then again, when I see “9/11″ I automatically think it’s the 9th of November.
September 12, 2012 at 8:37 am
my favorite is Facepalm Batman®
September 12, 2012 at 8:48 pm
I think this stuff just gets funnier every year, which I guess is healthy?
This year, I didn’t “celebrate” 9/11 because a friend of mine was killed the day before. So laughs are oh-so welcome at the moment.
September 12, 2012 at 9:48 pm
“This cake commemorates the day the towers were destroyed by a rain of giant spiders from the sky.”
September 13, 2012 at 4:54 am
I wondered why the flag was at half staff the other day, then I realized: we have to do this forever. Like, a thousand years from now, we’ll still have half staff on 9/11.
Is there a recognized time limit for grieving? I’m not pissed, just curious.
September 13, 2012 at 7:08 am
Coming in a little late, but – the Bayeux Tapestry mock-up had me in tears. Save-as to my HD for future reference, and many thanks who whoever made this.
September 15, 2012 at 11:17 am
well, I’ll probably get thumbed-down, but I don’t think the jenga one was all that offensive. Seems like it was meant to be satirical, which is better than all the tragi-crafting and faux-patriotism going on.
I thought the anti-smoking ads were far worse “Hey, all you people who lost loved ones in a senseless attack! That really sucked, but you know what’s worse? SMOKING. And now we’re going to exploit your grief for our own purposes by using insensitive visuals placed next to impossible-to-prove statistics!”
September 18, 2012 at 5:12 am
Well, now that I’m going to hell for looking at all of those…who’s up for 9/11 soup at the EconoLodge?