Vanilla vodka, pizza, and beer? I dunno, that sounds like a sure-fire recipe for vomit if I ever saw one. Individually they’d be pretty good, but together… eh.
Then again, I used to think Guinness, Doritos, and Marb lights were the best combination ever, so maybe I shouldn’t talk.
The translation on the source page is a little rough, but somewhat readable, and it makes me really like these guys. I wonder how much it would cost to commission a bunch of Hellephant candies?
I’m in Tokyo and there is a dentist who uses a very Hellephant-esque (pre-ear accident) elephant in his advertisements. I keep on meaning to take a picture to share with the class here, but the point is the idea is already here so they should have no problems turning it into candy.
I thought it looked like a tray full of Che Guevara candies. But what I really want is that first slice cut off the end of the roll with the eyes all bugged out!
I was wondering what the rainbow cream filling flavors on the Gay Pride Oreos were but they aren’t real. Plus the Westboro Baptist Church said eating them would give me the gayabetus.
This passage. Classic snark.
“Having made chunks of candy in each color, it’s time to put together the fine parts while consulting the blueprint. While it may not be entirely intuitive to a lay person’s eye what is going on at this point, THE WHOLE THING WILL BE WHACKED OUT OF BALANCE IF THEY BOTCH THIS CRITICAL STEP.
original text:
“ざっくりと色毎の飴の塊が出来上がってきたところで、いよいよ設計図を見ながら飴を細かなパーツに分けつつ成形していきます。この段階は何をどう作っているのか部外者にはよくわからない段階ではありますが、ここでしくじると全体のバランスが崩れて大変なことになります。”
And seeing as some of you mentioned it, they do commissions. No Goatse, though. We already asked, but they’re afraid of alienating corporate clients. I don’t work with/for them, I just love their stuff.
September 7, 2012 at 4:34 pm
I let out a nasty fat girl laugh at those last few pictures….
September 7, 2012 at 4:36 pm
And I thought the Meiji Restoration was a big deal.
September 7, 2012 at 4:38 pm
mmm…. sacrilicious… *homer drool*
September 7, 2012 at 4:39 pm
I thought they were making handcrafted vagina sex toys until I got to the last picture…
September 7, 2012 at 4:39 pm
Me: Huh, I wonder what this is going to be. *scroll scroll* Goatse? *scroll scroll* Weird sushi thing? *scroll, get to end* BAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
September 7, 2012 at 4:40 pm
Fantastic! I love the source site’s “plan” picture too — they thought this out nicely.
September 7, 2012 at 4:41 pm
I’m not getting Jesus with a beard so much as Isabella Rosellini with a scarf.
September 7, 2012 at 5:09 pm
I’m with you, Zippy. That bitch has a serious reputation for garroting people with her scarf.
September 7, 2012 at 9:05 pm
I-Ro gonna choke a bitch!
September 7, 2012 at 4:43 pm
Mmmmm that Jesus candy looks tasty.
September 7, 2012 at 4:43 pm
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September 7, 2012 at 4:44 pm
Best communion wafers ever.
September 7, 2012 at 4:47 pm
Reading that sentence damned my soul to eternal torment. Thanks for that.
September 7, 2012 at 5:07 pm
Wait, wait! We’ll all be following you there.
At least you won’t be alone.
September 7, 2012 at 5:10 pm
I’ll bring the vanilla vodka. Who’s bringing the mini pizzas beer? Our basket is going to be THE bestest all of them.
September 7, 2012 at 5:19 pm
mini pizzas AND beer. No, I haven’t started drinking (*hiccups*) already!
September 7, 2012 at 5:55 pm
666 Lake of Fire Lane. The grill will be hot by the time you get there.
September 7, 2012 at 6:48 pm
I’ve already put down a deposite on the Extra-Large Group-sized handbasket.
September 7, 2012 at 7:15 pm
Wicked wicker!
September 7, 2012 at 7:24 pm
devil’s food cake anyone?
September 8, 2012 at 12:12 pm
I’ll pull in my asbestos yacht…
September 8, 2012 at 7:50 am
Vanilla vodka, pizza, and beer? I dunno, that sounds like a sure-fire recipe for vomit if I ever saw one. Individually they’d be pretty good, but together… eh.
Then again, I used to think Guinness, Doritos, and Marb lights were the best combination ever, so maybe I shouldn’t talk.
September 7, 2012 at 4:49 pm
Am I the only one who thought that the first photo showed a tube coming out of someone’s stomach emptying the contents onto a conveyor belt?
September 7, 2012 at 5:29 pm
My mind didn’t quite go in that direction, but it was a definite WTF moment.
September 7, 2012 at 4:50 pm
I’m not sure if this counts as eating Jesus. Looks more like eating a 5th grade’s drawing of a lady.
September 7, 2012 at 4:52 pm
I dunno.. the design on the finished candy looks a little too Jewish to me.
September 7, 2012 at 4:53 pm
When I saw the third photo I thought it was supposed to be bacon.
September 7, 2012 at 4:53 pm
Keep that Spanish grandm out of the kitchen or the candy will look like Andre the Giant.
September 7, 2012 at 6:28 pm
THANK YOU. Andre the Giant is who I kept seeing!
September 7, 2012 at 4:54 pm
I saw the first pic, thought it was a morgue table, and was scared to scroll down.
Needless to say, after scrolling down- I was disappointed.
September 7, 2012 at 5:20 pm
The translation on the source page is a little rough, but somewhat readable, and it makes me really like these guys. I wonder how much it would cost to commission a bunch of Hellephant candies?
September 7, 2012 at 9:47 pm
I’d love to taste Hellephant in ramune flavor myself. I commented on the original article w/ mention of your request. We shall see what happens…
September 7, 2012 at 11:22 pm
I’m in Tokyo and there is a dentist who uses a very Hellephant-esque (pre-ear accident) elephant in his advertisements. I keep on meaning to take a picture to share with the class here, but the point is the idea is already here so they should have no problems turning it into candy.
September 8, 2012 at 10:06 am
Oh god, restoration hellephant, anyone?!
(It’s just another one of those moments that have me looking into taking photoshop lessons next month.)
September 7, 2012 at 5:20 pm
Okay, I’m glad that didn’t go in the direction that I thought it was going. Delicious!
September 7, 2012 at 6:01 pm
I was confused about why 2 burned hot dogs in one bun were becoming a giant futomaki sushi but I carried on because, Regretsy.
September 8, 2012 at 10:07 am
Believe me, I want this on at least a tote.
September 9, 2012 at 6:56 pm
Seconded… I’m making that my new FB status.
September 7, 2012 at 6:05 pm
I thought it looked like a tray full of Che Guevara candies. But what I really want is that first slice cut off the end of the roll with the eyes all bugged out!
September 7, 2012 at 6:42 pm
Natalie Merchant, it looks to me.
September 7, 2012 at 8:38 pm
It’s like 10,000 Maniacs when all I need is Alanis.
September 7, 2012 at 6:58 pm
I LOVE THE JAPANESE!!!
September 7, 2012 at 8:40 pm
NIPPONJIN DAI SUKI! *turns into adorable giant monster, eats Korea*
September 7, 2012 at 7:41 pm
Oh thank HEAVEN! I’m glad it’s a tribute to the Pie Face Fresco. I was afraid it was supposed to be Snooki!
September 7, 2012 at 9:39 pm
Snoodi.
September 9, 2012 at 6:58 pm
Oh what I’d give for the motivation to motivate me into fotoshooping that.
September 7, 2012 at 8:15 pm
Seriously. I want some. Cuz, ya know, you gotta, right?
September 7, 2012 at 8:44 pm
“Savior-Thins” are the new “Kandy Korn Oreos” and those are next-week-new! Google that shit AAAAAND play with the Star Trek links. Do it now!
September 8, 2012 at 7:41 am
I would prefer some of those Oreo flavors that other countries get:
dulce de leche and banana, chocolate and strawberry, green tea, peach and grape!
September 8, 2012 at 1:00 pm
I was wondering what the rainbow cream filling flavors on the Gay Pride Oreos were but they aren’t real. Plus the Westboro Baptist Church said eating them would give me the gayabetus.
September 9, 2012 at 9:04 am
Dulce de leche oreos are FANTASTIC. Grocery Outlet gets them in here once in a blue moon.
September 7, 2012 at 8:59 pm
Damn it, they’re in Nagoya. If they were in Tokyo I’d go RIGHT NOW.
September 8, 2012 at 10:09 am
11 hours later, you’re already on your way back, right?
September 7, 2012 at 9:13 pm
This passage. Classic snark.
“Having made chunks of candy in each color, it’s time to put together the fine parts while consulting the blueprint. While it may not be entirely intuitive to a lay person’s eye what is going on at this point, THE WHOLE THING WILL BE WHACKED OUT OF BALANCE IF THEY BOTCH THIS CRITICAL STEP.
original text:
“ざっくりと色毎の飴の塊が出来上がってきたところで、いよいよ設計図を見ながら飴を細かなパーツに分けつつ成形していきます。この段階は何をどう作っているのか部外者にはよくわからない段階ではありますが、ここでしくじると全体のバランスが崩れて大変なことになります。”
September 7, 2012 at 9:31 pm
Ha awesome candy.
and I just found this equally uh… I have no words… work of art
September 7, 2012 at 9:40 pm
The feathers remained surprisingly intact throughout the years…
September 8, 2012 at 12:30 am
I donno. They seem to have done a much better job at making a recognizable Jesus than the restoration lady did.
September 8, 2012 at 12:36 am
What flavor?
I’m thinking Caramel Bullseye, mebbe Root Beer?
September 8, 2012 at 10:10 am
You are my new favorite handle.
September 9, 2012 at 6:45 am
they’re coffee flavour apparently
September 8, 2012 at 1:31 am
TAFFY JEEBUS!!!! YUM
September 8, 2012 at 2:25 am
I looked at the slices and thought – that’s not a very good Helen. The next picture showed me I was right.
September 8, 2012 at 10:00 am
Excuse me for a minute, I’m in love.
September 8, 2012 at 1:03 pm
September 8, 2012 at 8:47 pm
That’s pure awesome. I didn’t realize until clicking the link that they were intentionally making the painting.
September 8, 2012 at 9:24 pm
Monkey Jesus Candy – Proving the Japanese are just as capably of making the jokes as being the butt of them. Take that rest of the world!
September 8, 2012 at 9:57 pm
If you’d like to try this kind of candy in the US, http://pd.net/ makes it. Youtube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KE6vZgxMGG4
And seeing as some of you mentioned it, they do commissions. No Goatse, though. We already asked, but they’re afraid of alienating corporate clients. I don’t work with/for them, I just love their stuff.