This post first appeared on Regretsy in September of 2011
I was wondering where all my fucking butter knifes went!
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Ermahgerd! Praatahah caus!
Am I decoding this right as “Oh my God, predator claws”? Don’t make it so hard on us phonetically challenged FJLs … English is roughly my fourth language, but memespeak isn’t even on my list.
Can I get the best and jeans from the same seller to complete the look? http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=hugh+jackman&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&biw=1024&bih=325&tbm=isch&tbnid=P1Q3oRluZlZ2zM:&imgrefurl=http://artlanta.blogspot.com/2010/12/hugh-jackman-accident-on-oprahs.html&imgurl=http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_g8-5RN7w5BI/TQem3EKB4bI/AAAAAAAACOg/0MQFNx1D9dg/s1600/x-men_hugh_jackman_4.jpg&w=550&h=718&ei=iu1DUOfuJPCZ0QXywoD4Ag&zoom=1
I meant “vest”……..God-dammed predictive text
Everybody’s into the Avengers now. Whatcha gonna do?
God-dammed G**gle redirects.
Yeah, fuck them. I remember when you used to be cool, internet.
I need to get one of these to replace my missing finger.
I think we used to do this as kids, with foil from the kitchen.
I used to do with with Bugles and then eat them. Much more fun.
Always save one Bugle to be the Doomsday Machine from Star Trek.
Definitely more fun. Black olives are good too, especially at Thanksgiving. All the better to make creepy claws for the crazy relatives. Hmmmm, maybe the original post would be fun, after all.
Have you ever lit a Bugle on fire?
Go ahead – try it – the flame color is, um, interesting and probably not something that should be produced by, um, food
(in a safe place with all proper suppression systems available – no one wants to get sued)
Bugles – made of solid neutronium!
Or I could go to the store and buy a bag of Bugles…
This would make a great storyline for CSI. Etsy – your new handmade weaponry warehouse!
I think it would be fun to eat olives off of them.
Tricky to hold the Martini glass though.
I’d be afraid to wear them while drinking. A few drinks, a trip to the bathroom while drunk and I can foresee a tragic private parts accident.
but you’d always be ready to spread butter on your bread
Poor Edwina Knifehands never enjoyed the same amount of fame as her older brother.
If only there had been a Benihana in that town…
If you forget and pick your nose while wearing these you would receive a free lobotomy. Why would you wear them unless you are Freddy Krueger?
Well, for halloween, maybe, but I still see a disporportionate injury-to-cool ratio. The only way to look cooler and be more injured would involve setting yourself on fire.
If you’re a dude and forget to take them off before going to the bathroom, free sex change!
For the kink. But there are much better versions available for less, even with the pervy fee included but without the risk of potential infections. I’ve, uhm, heard.
These would be great for a cocktail party!
More like Salad Fingers. Those web videos gave me nightmares, incidentally.
Me too…and yet I keep buying “as sen on tv” stuff…..the useless pasta cooker, the weird and slightly alien egg cooker, Nads (so wrong on so many levels and hurts like m-effin hell to use), I could go on but I’ll spare you.
I can proudly say, however, that I’ve never bought a Ron Popeil item!
that would be *seen*…too much moscato…
what’s the matter? DO YOU NOT LIKE MY MOUTH-WORDS??
It’s ten knives, when all you need is a fuck.
I forgot “like”. Please like it anyways so something about it can actually be ironic.
Are there options to get the matching fork, spoon, or spatula fingers?
A logical choice, Captain.
This is probably just me, but the contrast of the classy rings and the crappy knife thingies is really bothering me.
The knuckles are what bothers me. They are shudder inducing
Now I will need two offices. One to sit in while typing, and the other to strategically place my typewriter at just the right distance!
Oh man, that view it in a room is hilarious!
Me sharpen you long time!
*in a bugs Bunny voice* Monsters are the most in-teresting people. OK, now it’s time to put your pitties in the water.
If whoever buys these doesn’t wear them into a nail salon and ask for ” the works”, their potential has been wasted.
I’m a manicurist…I would laugh and then stab them in the eye.
With their OWN FINGER!! Amarite?
Oh yes…bwa ha ha……
These look intensely uncomfortable, I must say. Now, if you wanted a costume accessory that would hold up AFTER you’d broken all of your fingers in the traditional Halloween barfight, well, do we have something for you!
I’ll wear these knives upon my toes,
with “Ohhh’s” and “Ahhh’s as I approach.
When interest in them surely wanes,
My foot will cause your ass pain.
So often I come here and the first question that comes to mind is;
“why does this even exist?”
it’s all just same shit, different day.
I imagine these are what the hands of an Edward Scissorhands/Freddy Krueger lovechild would look like.
…I’m sorry, that was awful, but I couldn’t help it.
Haha! I like it!
Hell-Cat Maggie got GAUDY
Please, oh please make these in gold!! I want to have my fingers all crunk and junk!
Digging the nose?
Reminds me of how Hobbes signs his letter to Calvin.
So if I get these I can work at the DMV? No?
It was a simple lack of judgement, a simple forgotten action…. poor baby Annabelle was crying. It was Grandma Nanna’s natural reaction to try to pick her up and comfort her. If only Nanna had remembered that she was wearing her ten piece bass predator claw ring set…. .
You loved “The Piano” but some of you prefer stories set in the modern day. You love action films but some prefer realism over pure fantasy . Now coming soon to a theater near you, one film to bind them all:
“The Piano vs. Predator vs. Alien vs. the Hobbits” in 3D!!
One, Two, Etsy’s coming for you….
Three, Four, Proud Hippies and Whores….
Five, Six, Vintage Rocks and Sticks….
Seven, Eight, Steampunk This Ain’t….
Nine, Ten, Import and Resell Again….
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