FINALLY! A way to earn money with all the crap I pull out of my dryer filter! Thank you, Etsy, for never running out of ideas to squeeze money out of garbage.
Dryer lint! Just what I was thinking. Next time I buy new towels, I’ll look forward to that extra-linty first dryer load just so I can make myself an awesome statement necklace!
Whenever I see Regretsy Math I try to guess what is being added up before scrolling down to see the entire equation. While viewing the thumbnail I thought, “That looks like a strand of garlic.” After clicking on it I thought, “That looks like cauliflower.” Imagine my delight when I scrolled down and found that Regretsy Math is the only math I’m good at…
Indeed, it has the color of something that was living…at some point. I thought fetal pigs, which means I can’t watch Oddities anymore. Or that necklace. That really looks like it could be the tribal garb of a cannibalistic society.
There’s an archaeologist I need to call. She’ll be able to carbon date this shit for us! Hold the phone, this is a major discovery–we can finally figure out what Mesopotamians put in their beer!
I’m on my work computer or I’d post the youtube video from the Sarah Silverman show entitled “whatever happened to that white dog poop from the 70′s”, maybe when I get home tonight.
my dog would totally use this as a chew toy, the bitch loves the taste of wool. I made her a puppy sweater one year out of some merino wool and she chewed a hole in it the size of my fist. was cute, but expensive. the bitch gets acrylic now.
It seems that Lagenlook is the new steampunk. Apparently Lagenlook represents clothes that look like what conservative dressers wore in the 80s, and the horrors populating the clearance rack at Target. And any old hairball or wad of stuff you can put on a string as jewelry.
With the rocks and the felt, which will soak up water, I would think it would help you drown faster, thus ending your misery of either being in icy cold water after crashing into an iceberg or washing ashore a desert island with nothing but a basketball.
but if you’re wearing the Lagenlook Hammer pants, you are saved! you take them off, tie knots in them, and make floaters, you can go miles on those things .
I suppose we should be thankful that the seller is felting wool, unlike the person who made that felted cat hair pebble necklace nightmare that we saw a while back.
I read of this condition where during pregnancy the egg divides, but one of the twins doesn’t fully develop and the other twin envelops the remains as it grows. The surviving twin ends up with a cyst full of odd bits like hair, teeth and bits of bone that has to be surgically removed.
How this etsy seller ended up with enough of them to make this hideous thing is probably best left to the imagination.
I have that! It’s called a dermoid cyst (or dermoid tumour). It can be made of any tissues that come from the endoderm layer of the embryo — always skin and hair, usually teeth, but also bone, muscle, nerve, and very rarely even eyes.
They don’t have to be removed. Most people who have one never know about it. Mine happily minded its own business for 50 years until it was accidentally discovered last year. It’s under observation now, but will be left alone unless it somehow decides to grow or cause trouble.
His name is Harold, the Hairy Tummy Pal. You’re never alone with a dermoid.
Fetus in fetu is when the “intruder” is recognisably a fetus. A dermoid cyst is a lump without a recognisable body shape (though there may be some recognisable parts, especially teeth).
It’s not yet determined whether these are completely different things, or whether they’re just more or less developed stages of the same process(es).
Apart from eating a twin, you can get a dermoid cyst by having an egg go crazy and start trying to develop inside the ovary (while you’re still in the womb yourself). This seems to be a response to your mother producing excessive amounts of pregnancy hormones, which your eggs respond to.
That’s what happened to a friend of mine, who had an ENORMOUS dermoid removed when she was 19. It weighed several pounds and was growing rapidly — the doctors didn’t know what it was until they removed it. She named it Theophilus.
I have used stones with holes in them for perfectly acceptable art. THIS IS NOT HOW YOU USE THEM. In fact, this is now how you use anything. This looks like the sort of thing that would happen if my cat finally met the couch dust bunnies and we had to get him to an abortion clinic, stat.
When hens have finished laying occasionally they poo out a lump of ovary called a lash which looks EXACTLY like this. Google “poultry lash” and you’ll see what I mean.
It will give that European look. Wear it for awhile and you’ll be hunched over like the old women in eastern European villages. Add a head scarf and a sack of bread over your shoulder. In a pinch, you can smack the stones together to start a fire with the wool balls.
So I did have to look up “European Lagenlook” style, and yeah. I think I might have been wearing some outfits like that in the late 70′s, early 80′s. That must have been the “American Lagenlook” style and they’re just catching up in backwater Europe. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Pom-Poms Make It Better
August 31, 2012 at 9:07 pm
When my dog was ill, he took to eating tissues and paper towels from the garbage. I had to stop looking for brown poop in the yard, and look for compacted balls of white paper fibers.
What I’m trying to say is, this necklace looks like his poop.
August 30, 2012 at 3:01 pm
Hobo anal beads
August 30, 2012 at 3:03 pm
and now I want them for my next wedding
August 30, 2012 at 3:18 pm
That’s one hell of an anus you’ve got there, Hobo Jim. What’s that, a size 18 anus?
August 30, 2012 at 3:30 pm
It did say “stone with a-hole collection” right in the description.
August 30, 2012 at 3:37 pm
So the stones go in the a-hole, too?
August 30, 2012 at 3:46 pm
Using those for that will give you hemorrwads.
August 31, 2012 at 7:01 pm
felted wool pebbles= dry lint hoarder
August 31, 2012 at 7:02 pm
dryer lint “doh!”
August 30, 2012 at 5:27 pm
I can think of a few Hanna-Barbera characters that would approve of these as both a necklace AND anal beads.
“You’ll have a gay old time!!!”
August 30, 2012 at 7:01 pm
Yabba Dabba Do-ooo-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
August 30, 2012 at 8:56 pm
Yabba Dabba D’oh!
August 31, 2012 at 7:34 am
Do ya know how she put the hole in the Pebbles?! She took a chisel and went BAM-BAM!!
“Dino! – Daddy’s home”
——Fredrick J “Bllllla” aka Flintstone
August 30, 2012 at 8:14 pm
How is this not on the Etsy front page?
August 30, 2012 at 3:02 pm
FINALLY! A way to earn money with all the crap I pull out of my dryer filter! Thank you, Etsy, for never running out of ideas to squeeze money out of garbage.
August 30, 2012 at 3:08 pm
Great American Novel not going so well? Put it through the wash and transform your written failure into wearable failure!
August 30, 2012 at 3:35 pm
I remember my mom saving dryer lint for weeks so that we could make our own paper when I was a kid. It basically turned out like that necklace.
August 30, 2012 at 5:30 pm
Dryer lint! Just what I was thinking. Next time I buy new towels, I’ll look forward to that extra-linty first dryer load just so I can make myself an awesome statement necklace!
August 30, 2012 at 7:52 pm
I’m not sure that statement would be allowed in polite company (you’d be limited to wearing it here).
August 30, 2012 at 3:02 pm
Whenever I see Regretsy Math I try to guess what is being added up before scrolling down to see the entire equation. While viewing the thumbnail I thought, “That looks like a strand of garlic.” After clicking on it I thought, “That looks like cauliflower.” Imagine my delight when I scrolled down and found that Regretsy Math is the only math I’m good at…
August 30, 2012 at 3:14 pm
Technically, that’s moldy garlic.
August 30, 2012 at 3:47 pm
The cauliflower looks a bit off, too.
August 30, 2012 at 7:53 pm
Makes it EXTRA organic.
August 30, 2012 at 3:33 pm
Maybe you need a girlier pen to do your equations with?
August 30, 2012 at 3:03 pm
It looks like a string of tumors.
August 30, 2012 at 3:07 pm
“It’s not a toomah!”
And yeah.. that was my craptastic Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonation.
August 30, 2012 at 3:23 pm
It sounded just like him!
August 30, 2012 at 3:34 pm
It’s like he was right her, governatoring himself accordingly!
August 30, 2012 at 3:35 pm
*here* although I think he governatored her as well.
August 30, 2012 at 3:38 pm
Governatoring her is what led to his divorce from Maria Shriver.
August 30, 2012 at 3:43 pm
Government is supposed to be enacted “by” and “for” the people”, not “on” or “in” the people.
August 31, 2012 at 8:28 am
@Zippy: Easily my most recent Favorite Regretsy Comment.
August 30, 2012 at 3:11 pm
Yes! That math was tame. Nice, even! I thought colon polyps had to be in the equation somewhere.
August 30, 2012 at 6:26 pm
Indeed, it has the color of something that was living…at some point. I thought fetal pigs, which means I can’t watch Oddities anymore. Or that necklace. That really looks like it could be the tribal garb of a cannibalistic society.
August 30, 2012 at 7:54 pm
It’s more difficult to get the camera “up there” than into the produce department.
September 9, 2012 at 3:08 am
I’m still thinking it’s cat hairballs – or a cat’s balls.
August 30, 2012 at 9:18 pm
That was my first impression as well. The second one was, “Maybe it’s supposed to be hemmorhoids on a rope.”
August 30, 2012 at 3:04 pm
Oh boy! More Dryer Lint Art!
August 30, 2012 at 3:25 pm
don’t forget the kidney stones!!!
August 31, 2012 at 2:47 pm
I was thinking first that they were beheaded cousins of the Hellephant with home made dog biscuits mixed in.
August 30, 2012 at 3:04 pm
as a garlic farmer, i am terribly offended.
August 30, 2012 at 3:16 pm
is it weird to have the tables turned on you?
August 30, 2012 at 8:59 pm
Mmmmm, subtlety. Not really a garlic thing. I love garlic, though. Thanks. garlic farmer!
August 31, 2012 at 8:45 am
I love it, too. But it seems to offend so many, for some reason.
August 31, 2012 at 8:38 pm
They are undead to me.
August 30, 2012 at 3:04 pm
I feel this seller has a corner on the Flintstones cosplay market.
August 30, 2012 at 3:08 pm
Damn you, now I miss not having a dryer anymore for an entirely new (marketable) reason.
August 30, 2012 at 3:05 pm
This wards off resellers.
August 30, 2012 at 3:08 pm
I think it wards off buyers.
August 30, 2012 at 3:06 pm
Yay – another use for cowliflower!
August 30, 2012 at 3:06 pm
I’ve pulled much lint from my navel, but never once did I think to combine it with toe cheese, craft a necklace and sell it to decent people.
August 30, 2012 at 3:24 pm
Decent people are not this item’s target market.
August 30, 2012 at 3:28 pm
People who don’t understand scale are this item’s target market.
August 30, 2012 at 3:07 pm
“Stone-with-a-hole collection”
*snicker*
August 30, 2012 at 3:08 pm
It’s a “Wonderful World of Tumors” commemorative necklace. RJ Reynolds gave those out with every 10th pack of Lucky Strikes after WWII.
August 30, 2012 at 3:10 pm
They also gave out Smoke Rings.
August 30, 2012 at 3:31 pm
oops. I didn’t see the tumor comment above before I posted.
August 31, 2012 at 5:26 am
You can never have enough tumor humor.
August 30, 2012 at 3:09 pm
It looks like she made a necklace with some extra large balled up tampons. Think of the size of vaggoo that must fit.
August 30, 2012 at 3:23 pm
More like somebody left their pad in their undies when it went through the dryer. Often.
August 30, 2012 at 3:10 pm
Did I see something about an A-hole? Because I’m thinking those could be uber large dingleberries, yes?
August 30, 2012 at 3:11 pm
Necrotic, calcified organs on a string?
August 30, 2012 at 5:01 pm
You say that like it’s a bad thing.
August 30, 2012 at 10:14 pm
There’s an archaeologist I need to call. She’ll be able to carbon date this shit for us! Hold the phone, this is a major discovery–we can finally figure out what Mesopotamians put in their beer!
August 30, 2012 at 3:11 pm
“It is a bit of a statement piece” is quite an understatement.
August 30, 2012 at 3:12 pm
Perfect for when you need something to attract attention away from your face.
August 30, 2012 at 3:14 pm
In this case, the claim that it’s “totally handmade” is completely believable.
August 30, 2012 at 3:16 pm
I thought they looked nads………. hopefully no one will mistake them for Rocky Mountain Oysters.
August 30, 2012 at 3:19 pm
I think this necklace would be good for someone who doesn’t want the body to float to the surface!
August 30, 2012 at 3:20 pm
I love it when Etsy sellers use fashion buzz words to sell their creations.
I do have to wonder why she is both shouting and whispering.
August 30, 2012 at 3:21 pm
Looks like angel turds to me.
August 30, 2012 at 8:07 pm
Only if you added glitter.
August 30, 2012 at 3:23 pm
Choker is a good description. That thing could choke anybody.
“Found the murder weapon yet, Chief?”
“Felted wool pebbles, wooden beads, cauliflower… yep, looks like the Stone-with-A-hole Strangler has struck again”
August 30, 2012 at 3:26 pm
I think the victim died of embarrassment.
August 30, 2012 at 3:27 pm
I am surpised (no not really) that this is actually “a style”, this Lagenlook thing, but this whole shops full of stuff, http://www.etsy.com/shop/Angelab5705?ref=seller_info_count. I give up!
August 30, 2012 at 4:06 pm
Yeah, this style turns up in some weird places.
August 30, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Huh. How ’bout that. I totally did not know that ” Lagenlook” was German for “completely fucking stupid”.
The more you know……*
August 30, 2012 at 3:28 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
August 30, 2012 at 8:06 pm
Only if you are going to throw them at the seller before she can craft more shit
August 30, 2012 at 3:34 pm
ohohoh, does anyone else get a sudden flashback to the dried white dog poo of years gone by?
August 31, 2012 at 8:00 am
I’m on my work computer or I’d post the youtube video from the Sarah Silverman show entitled “whatever happened to that white dog poop from the 70′s”, maybe when I get home tonight.
August 30, 2012 at 3:55 pm
Goddamnit, all this time I’ve been throwing away my cat’s hairballs when I could have been crafting them into Lagenlook necklaces!
August 30, 2012 at 6:55 pm
I have six little contributors if anyone wants them. But they kind of look like balled up socks on a string to me.
August 30, 2012 at 4:00 pm
here kitty kitty kitty … *HORK HACK SPLAT* there you go and it is for free, eco friendly, and completely biodegradable.
August 30, 2012 at 4:03 pm
if you get this lovely item wet you will smell like a wet mildewy dog at no added cost to you!
August 30, 2012 at 4:12 pm
I thought they were fetal bunnies….
August 30, 2012 at 4:13 pm
…and dog biscuits. A doggie treat! Yum…slurp….
August 31, 2012 at 8:02 am
my dog would totally use this as a chew toy, the bitch loves the taste of wool. I made her a puppy sweater one year out of some merino wool and she chewed a hole in it the size of my fist. was cute, but expensive. the bitch gets acrylic now.
August 30, 2012 at 4:15 pm
Judging by the size of these pellets, we’re talking about some huge fucking owls here. How big? well I think the middle pellet was a baby’s head.
August 30, 2012 at 4:37 pm
these look like matted fur balls that a groomer would shave off the ass of a neglected poodle.
August 30, 2012 at 4:48 pm
This just the sort of thing that gives felting a bad name.
August 30, 2012 at 4:52 pm
And now I found a recent Regretsy favorite is not Steampunk anymore, it’s Lagenlook: http://www.etsy.com/listing/106446692/ooak-lagenlook-steampunk-baggy-pant?ref=sr_gallery_7&ga_includes=tags&ga_search_query=lagenlook&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery
August 30, 2012 at 5:20 pm
It seems that Lagenlook is the new steampunk. Apparently Lagenlook represents clothes that look like what conservative dressers wore in the 80s, and the horrors populating the clearance rack at Target. And any old hairball or wad of stuff you can put on a string as jewelry.
August 30, 2012 at 5:56 pm
Langenlook is German for “piling on a bunch of shit you bought on etsy”, right? If so, this necklace is spot-on.
August 30, 2012 at 6:05 pm
Your typo of langen is very suitable here – it means to reach.
They are reaching for a look.
August 31, 2012 at 4:08 pm
heh, whoops–and I don’t even speak German!
August 30, 2012 at 6:49 pm
Dude, “Steampunk” MC Hammer pants?! I’m in.
August 30, 2012 at 4:56 pm
This looks like the sausage links of dirty diapers that come out of a diaper genie.
August 30, 2012 at 5:32 pm
That bitch stole my socks!!! So THAT’S where they’ve been disappearing from my dryer!!!
August 30, 2012 at 6:02 pm
Lagenlook – You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
September 9, 2012 at 3:16 am
Apparently, this person claims to have invented the term “lagenlook”. http://www.idaretobe.com/pages/lagenlook.htm
I still call it baggy, raggy, street bum look.
August 30, 2012 at 6:36 pm
You can laugh now but in the event of a water landing this necklace can be used as a floatation device.
August 30, 2012 at 6:40 pm
With the rocks and the felt, which will soak up water, I would think it would help you drown faster, thus ending your misery of either being in icy cold water after crashing into an iceberg or washing ashore a desert island with nothing but a basketball.
August 31, 2012 at 9:12 am
but if you’re wearing the Lagenlook Hammer pants, you are saved! you take them off, tie knots in them, and make floaters, you can go miles on those things
.
August 30, 2012 at 7:02 pm
I had my goiter removed so I wouldn’t have a lump on my neck… why would I want to ADD a necklace of them?
August 30, 2012 at 7:06 pm
I swear I thought the words “head-turner” said “head-tumor”. Perhaps I need to check the prescription on my glasses.
On second thought…
August 30, 2012 at 7:18 pm
I had to read the entire description to assure myself that the wooden beads and whatnot weren’t Milk Bones. Still not convinced.
August 30, 2012 at 7:34 pm
It’s like something out of the bad dream I had once…
August 30, 2012 at 8:13 pm
“suitable to be worn all year round” = ugly 365 day/year
“for sure a head-turner” – clearly intended for those viewing this excretion since it must wear like a neck brace
“is a bit heavier due to the real stones” – heavier than WHAT, a breadbox? a compact car?
August 30, 2012 at 8:40 pm
Surely this is a reseller. That’s far too mainstream to be handmade!
August 30, 2012 at 9:16 pm
I suppose we should be thankful that the seller is felting wool, unlike the person who made that felted cat hair pebble necklace nightmare that we saw a while back.
August 30, 2012 at 9:32 pm
Can you say ‘faecolith’, children?
August 30, 2012 at 9:38 pm
Looks like cat hork to me! Maybe I’ve just spent too much of my life cleaning up cat hork.
September 4, 2012 at 2:56 pm
I am replacing my family’s terminology of “kitty woop” [my Filipino brother-in-law's pronunciation of "kitty woof"] with “cat hork.”
August 30, 2012 at 9:39 pm
I read of this condition where during pregnancy the egg divides, but one of the twins doesn’t fully develop and the other twin envelops the remains as it grows. The surviving twin ends up with a cyst full of odd bits like hair, teeth and bits of bone that has to be surgically removed.
How this etsy seller ended up with enough of them to make this hideous thing is probably best left to the imagination.
August 31, 2012 at 8:41 am
I have that! It’s called a dermoid cyst (or dermoid tumour). It can be made of any tissues that come from the endoderm layer of the embryo — always skin and hair, usually teeth, but also bone, muscle, nerve, and very rarely even eyes.
They don’t have to be removed. Most people who have one never know about it. Mine happily minded its own business for 50 years until it was accidentally discovered last year. It’s under observation now, but will be left alone unless it somehow decides to grow or cause trouble.
His name is Harold, the Hairy Tummy Pal. You’re never alone with a dermoid.
August 31, 2012 at 4:12 pm
Thumbs up for the last sentence
August 31, 2012 at 10:01 am
What Hesster is describing is Fetus in Fetu. A Dermoid Cyst is similar, but not necessarily from the same source.
Gonna just shuffle on back to the mad lab now…
September 1, 2012 at 5:05 am
Fetus in fetu is when the “intruder” is recognisably a fetus. A dermoid cyst is a lump without a recognisable body shape (though there may be some recognisable parts, especially teeth).
It’s not yet determined whether these are completely different things, or whether they’re just more or less developed stages of the same process(es).
Apart from eating a twin, you can get a dermoid cyst by having an egg go crazy and start trying to develop inside the ovary (while you’re still in the womb yourself). This seems to be a response to your mother producing excessive amounts of pregnancy hormones, which your eggs respond to.
That’s what happened to a friend of mine, who had an ENORMOUS dermoid removed when she was 19. It weighed several pounds and was growing rapidly — the doctors didn’t know what it was until they removed it. She named it Theophilus.
September 1, 2012 at 8:22 pm
PC, I don’t know you, but you’re my kind of lady.
September 9, 2012 at 3:21 am
I had an ovarian tumor I named “Freddie the Freeloader”, but my doctor insisted that he needed to be evicted. Cool way to lose 15 pounds overnight!
August 30, 2012 at 10:13 pm
I have used stones with holes in them for perfectly acceptable art. THIS IS NOT HOW YOU USE THEM. In fact, this is now how you use anything. This looks like the sort of thing that would happen if my cat finally met the couch dust bunnies and we had to get him to an abortion clinic, stat.
August 31, 2012 at 10:23 am
Not if it was legitimate cat-dust bunny rape. And isn’t it more trouble than it’s worth to bring *him* to the clinic as well?
August 30, 2012 at 11:37 pm
When hens have finished laying occasionally they poo out a lump of ovary called a lash which looks EXACTLY like this. Google “poultry lash” and you’ll see what I mean.
September 1, 2012 at 8:24 pm
I’m going to take your word for it on this one.
August 31, 2012 at 5:00 am
Reminds me of when I went on holidays for 3 months and came home to the bag of potatoes I’d forgotten were in the back of the pantry… moldy.
That, or a neck full of giant, engorged, rigor-mortic hemorrhoids.
August 31, 2012 at 5:02 am
pallor-mortic*******
September 1, 2012 at 5:09 am
A neck full of haemorrhoids doesn’t bear thinking about, really.
September 1, 2012 at 8:25 pm
One does have to draw the line somewhere.
August 31, 2012 at 8:06 am
It will give that European look. Wear it for awhile and you’ll be hunched over like the old women in eastern European villages. Add a head scarf and a sack of bread over your shoulder. In a pinch, you can smack the stones together to start a fire with the wool balls.
August 31, 2012 at 8:20 am
I think pork bellies just hit an all time low.
August 31, 2012 at 10:25 am
Eddie Murphy’s gonna get fired if he didn’t sell early.
August 31, 2012 at 3:46 pm
So I did have to look up “European Lagenlook” style, and yeah. I think I might have been wearing some outfits like that in the late 70′s, early 80′s. That must have been the “American Lagenlook” style and they’re just catching up in backwater Europe. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
August 31, 2012 at 3:55 pm
Pity it’s not broccoli. That way, you could keep away vampires AND Justice Scalia.
August 31, 2012 at 4:22 pm
Now, whenever I read that something is “a must,” I hear April saying it in that velvety Brie voice of hers. Thank you, April. Regretsy Theatre: LADY ROTHERWICK’S CORNBURY STAG PARK CUFF
August 31, 2012 at 9:07 pm
When my dog was ill, he took to eating tissues and paper towels from the garbage. I had to stop looking for brown poop in the yard, and look for compacted balls of white paper fibers.
What I’m trying to say is, this necklace looks like his poop.