Hobo anal beads
and now I want them for my next wedding
That’s one hell of an anus you’ve got there, Hobo Jim. What’s that, a size 18 anus?
It did say “stone with a-hole collection” right in the description.
So the stones go in the a-hole, too?
Using those for that will give you hemorrwads.
felted wool pebbles= dry lint hoarder
dryer lint “doh!”
I can think of a few Hanna-Barbera characters that would approve of these as both a necklace AND anal beads.
“You’ll have a gay old time!!!”
Yabba Dabba Do-ooo-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Yabba Dabba D’oh!
Do ya know how she put the hole in the Pebbles?! She took a chisel and went BAM-BAM!!
“Dino! – Daddy’s home”
——Fredrick J “Bllllla” aka Flintstone
How is this not on the Etsy front page?
FINALLY! A way to earn money with all the crap I pull out of my dryer filter! Thank you, Etsy, for never running out of ideas to squeeze money out of garbage.
Great American Novel not going so well? Put it through the wash and transform your written failure into wearable failure!
I remember my mom saving dryer lint for weeks so that we could make our own paper when I was a kid. It basically turned out like that necklace.
Dryer lint! Just what I was thinking. Next time I buy new towels, I’ll look forward to that extra-linty first dryer load just so I can make myself an awesome statement necklace!
I’m not sure that statement would be allowed in polite company (you’d be limited to wearing it here).
Whenever I see Regretsy Math I try to guess what is being added up before scrolling down to see the entire equation. While viewing the thumbnail I thought, “That looks like a strand of garlic.” After clicking on it I thought, “That looks like cauliflower.” Imagine my delight when I scrolled down and found that Regretsy Math is the only math I’m good at…
Technically, that’s moldy garlic.
The cauliflower looks a bit off, too.
Makes it EXTRA organic.
Maybe you need a girlier pen to do your equations with?
It looks like a string of tumors.
“It’s not a toomah!”
And yeah.. that was my craptastic Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonation.
It sounded just like him!
It’s like he was right her, governatoring himself accordingly!
*here* although I think he governatored her as well.
Governatoring her is what led to his divorce from Maria Shriver.
Government is supposed to be enacted “by” and “for” the people”, not “on” or “in” the people.
@Zippy: Easily my most recent Favorite Regretsy Comment.
Yes! That math was tame. Nice, even! I thought colon polyps had to be in the equation somewhere.
Indeed, it has the color of something that was living…at some point. I thought fetal pigs, which means I can’t watch Oddities anymore. Or that necklace. That really looks like it could be the tribal garb of a cannibalistic society.
It’s more difficult to get the camera “up there” than into the produce department.
I’m still thinking it’s cat hairballs – or a cat’s balls.
That was my first impression as well. The second one was, “Maybe it’s supposed to be hemmorhoids on a rope.”
Oh boy! More Dryer Lint Art!
don’t forget the kidney stones!!!
I was thinking first that they were beheaded cousins of the Hellephant with home made dog biscuits mixed in.
as a garlic farmer, i am terribly offended.
is it weird to have the tables turned on you?
Mmmmm, subtlety. Not really a garlic thing. I love garlic, though. Thanks. garlic farmer!
I love it, too. But it seems to offend so many, for some reason.
They are undead to me.
I feel this seller has a corner on the Flintstones cosplay market.
Damn you, now I miss not having a dryer anymore for an entirely new (marketable) reason.
This wards off resellers.
I think it wards off buyers.
Yay – another use for cowliflower!
I’ve pulled much lint from my navel, but never once did I think to combine it with toe cheese, craft a necklace and sell it to decent people.
Decent people are not this item’s target market.
People who don’t understand scale are this item’s target market.
It’s a “Wonderful World of Tumors” commemorative necklace. RJ Reynolds gave those out with every 10th pack of Lucky Strikes after WWII.
They also gave out Smoke Rings.
oops. I didn’t see the tumor comment above before I posted.
You can never have enough tumor humor.
It looks like she made a necklace with some extra large balled up tampons. Think of the size of vaggoo that must fit.
More like somebody left their pad in their undies when it went through the dryer. Often.
Did I see something about an A-hole? Because I’m thinking those could be uber large dingleberries, yes?
Necrotic, calcified organs on a string?
You say that like it’s a bad thing.
There’s an archaeologist I need to call. She’ll be able to carbon date this shit for us! Hold the phone, this is a major discovery–we can finally figure out what Mesopotamians put in their beer!
“It is a bit of a statement piece” is quite an understatement.
Perfect for when you need something to attract attention away from your face.
In this case, the claim that it’s “totally handmade” is completely believable.
I thought they looked nads………. hopefully no one will mistake them for Rocky Mountain Oysters.
I think this necklace would be good for someone who doesn’t want the body to float to the surface!
I love it when Etsy sellers use fashion buzz words to sell their creations.
I do have to wonder why she is both shouting and whispering.
Looks like angel turds to me.
Only if you added glitter.
Choker is a good description. That thing could choke anybody.
“Found the murder weapon yet, Chief?”
“Felted wool pebbles, wooden beads, cauliflower… yep, looks like the Stone-with-A-hole Strangler has struck again”
I think the victim died of embarrassment.
I am surpised (no not really) that this is actually “a style”, this Lagenlook thing, but this whole shops full of stuff, http://www.etsy.com/shop/Angelab5705?ref=seller_info_count. I give up!
Yeah, this style turns up in some weird places.
Huh. How ’bout that. I totally did not know that ” Lagenlook” was German for “completely fucking stupid”.
The more you know……*
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
I like the rocks =/
Only if you are going to throw them at the seller before she can craft more shit
ohohoh, does anyone else get a sudden flashback to the dried white dog poo of years gone by?
I’m on my work computer or I’d post the youtube video from the Sarah Silverman show entitled “whatever happened to that white dog poop from the 70′s”, maybe when I get home tonight.
Goddamnit, all this time I’ve been throwing away my cat’s hairballs when I could have been crafting them into Lagenlook necklaces!
I have six little contributors if anyone wants them. But they kind of look like balled up socks on a string to me.
here kitty kitty kitty … *HORK HACK SPLAT* there you go and it is for free, eco friendly, and completely biodegradable.
if you get this lovely item wet you will smell like a wet mildewy dog at no added cost to you!
I thought they were fetal bunnies….
…and dog biscuits. A doggie treat! Yum…slurp….
my dog would totally use this as a chew toy, the bitch loves the taste of wool. I made her a puppy sweater one year out of some merino wool and she chewed a hole in it the size of my fist. was cute, but expensive. the bitch gets acrylic now.
Judging by the size of these pellets, we’re talking about some huge fucking owls here. How big? well I think the middle pellet was a baby’s head.
these look like matted fur balls that a groomer would shave off the ass of a neglected poodle.
This just the sort of thing that gives felting a bad name.
And now I found a recent Regretsy favorite is not Steampunk anymore, it’s Lagenlook: http://www.etsy.com/listing/106446692/ooak-lagenlook-steampunk-baggy-pant?ref=sr_gallery_7&ga_includes=tags&ga_search_query=lagenlook&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery
It seems that Lagenlook is the new steampunk. Apparently Lagenlook represents clothes that look like what conservative dressers wore in the 80s, and the horrors populating the clearance rack at Target. And any old hairball or wad of stuff you can put on a string as jewelry.
Langenlook is German for “piling on a bunch of shit you bought on etsy”, right? If so, this necklace is spot-on.
Your typo of langen is very suitable here – it means to reach.
They are reaching for a look.
heh, whoops–and I don’t even speak German!
Dude, “Steampunk” MC Hammer pants?! I’m in.
This looks like the sausage links of dirty diapers that come out of a diaper genie.
That bitch stole my socks!!! So THAT’S where they’ve been disappearing from my dryer!!!
Lagenlook – You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Apparently, this person claims to have invented the term “lagenlook”. http://www.idaretobe.com/pages/lagenlook.htm
I still call it baggy, raggy, street bum look.
You can laugh now but in the event of a water landing this necklace can be used as a floatation device.
With the rocks and the felt, which will soak up water, I would think it would help you drown faster, thus ending your misery of either being in icy cold water after crashing into an iceberg or washing ashore a desert island with nothing but a basketball.
but if you’re wearing the Lagenlook Hammer pants, you are saved! you take them off, tie knots in them, and make floaters, you can go miles on those things .
I had my goiter removed so I wouldn’t have a lump on my neck… why would I want to ADD a necklace of them?
I swear I thought the words “head-turner” said “head-tumor”. Perhaps I need to check the prescription on my glasses.
On second thought…
I had to read the entire description to assure myself that the wooden beads and whatnot weren’t Milk Bones. Still not convinced.
It’s like something out of the bad dream I had once…
“suitable to be worn all year round” = ugly 365 day/year
“for sure a head-turner” – clearly intended for those viewing this excretion since it must wear like a neck brace
“is a bit heavier due to the real stones” – heavier than WHAT, a breadbox? a compact car?
Surely this is a reseller. That’s far too mainstream to be handmade!
I suppose we should be thankful that the seller is felting wool, unlike the person who made that felted cat hair pebble necklace nightmare that we saw a while back.
Can you say ‘faecolith’, children?
Looks like cat hork to me! Maybe I’ve just spent too much of my life cleaning up cat hork.
I am replacing my family’s terminology of “kitty woop” [my Filipino brother-in-law's pronunciation of "kitty woof"] with “cat hork.”
I read of this condition where during pregnancy the egg divides, but one of the twins doesn’t fully develop and the other twin envelops the remains as it grows. The surviving twin ends up with a cyst full of odd bits like hair, teeth and bits of bone that has to be surgically removed.
How this etsy seller ended up with enough of them to make this hideous thing is probably best left to the imagination.
I have that! It’s called a dermoid cyst (or dermoid tumour). It can be made of any tissues that come from the endoderm layer of the embryo — always skin and hair, usually teeth, but also bone, muscle, nerve, and very rarely even eyes.
They don’t have to be removed. Most people who have one never know about it. Mine happily minded its own business for 50 years until it was accidentally discovered last year. It’s under observation now, but will be left alone unless it somehow decides to grow or cause trouble.
His name is Harold, the Hairy Tummy Pal. You’re never alone with a dermoid.
Thumbs up for the last sentence
What Hesster is describing is Fetus in Fetu. A Dermoid Cyst is similar, but not necessarily from the same source.
Gonna just shuffle on back to the mad lab now…
Fetus in fetu is when the “intruder” is recognisably a fetus. A dermoid cyst is a lump without a recognisable body shape (though there may be some recognisable parts, especially teeth).
It’s not yet determined whether these are completely different things, or whether they’re just more or less developed stages of the same process(es).
Apart from eating a twin, you can get a dermoid cyst by having an egg go crazy and start trying to develop inside the ovary (while you’re still in the womb yourself). This seems to be a response to your mother producing excessive amounts of pregnancy hormones, which your eggs respond to.
That’s what happened to a friend of mine, who had an ENORMOUS dermoid removed when she was 19. It weighed several pounds and was growing rapidly — the doctors didn’t know what it was until they removed it. She named it Theophilus.
PC, I don’t know you, but you’re my kind of lady.
I had an ovarian tumor I named “Freddie the Freeloader”, but my doctor insisted that he needed to be evicted. Cool way to lose 15 pounds overnight!
I have used stones with holes in them for perfectly acceptable art. THIS IS NOT HOW YOU USE THEM. In fact, this is now how you use anything. This looks like the sort of thing that would happen if my cat finally met the couch dust bunnies and we had to get him to an abortion clinic, stat.
Not if it was legitimate cat-dust bunny rape. And isn’t it more trouble than it’s worth to bring *him* to the clinic as well?
When hens have finished laying occasionally they poo out a lump of ovary called a lash which looks EXACTLY like this. Google “poultry lash” and you’ll see what I mean.
I’m going to take your word for it on this one.
Reminds me of when I went on holidays for 3 months and came home to the bag of potatoes I’d forgotten were in the back of the pantry… moldy.
That, or a neck full of giant, engorged, rigor-mortic hemorrhoids.
A neck full of haemorrhoids doesn’t bear thinking about, really.
One does have to draw the line somewhere.
It will give that European look. Wear it for awhile and you’ll be hunched over like the old women in eastern European villages. Add a head scarf and a sack of bread over your shoulder. In a pinch, you can smack the stones together to start a fire with the wool balls.
I think pork bellies just hit an all time low.
Eddie Murphy’s gonna get fired if he didn’t sell early.
So I did have to look up “European Lagenlook” style, and yeah. I think I might have been wearing some outfits like that in the late 70′s, early 80′s. That must have been the “American Lagenlook” style and they’re just catching up in backwater Europe. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Pity it’s not broccoli. That way, you could keep away vampires AND Justice Scalia.
Now, whenever I read that something is “a must,” I hear April saying it in that velvety Brie voice of hers. Thank you, April. Regretsy Theatre: LADY ROTHERWICK’S CORNBURY STAG PARK CUFF
When my dog was ill, he took to eating tissues and paper towels from the garbage. I had to stop looking for brown poop in the yard, and look for compacted balls of white paper fibers.
What I’m trying to say is, this necklace looks like his poop.
You must be logged in to post a comment.
The term "Etsy" is a trademark of Etsy, Inc. This site is not affiliated with Etsy, Inc.