- Submitted by Gloomstopper
See all 81 reviews here
Oh those Brits. They are hilarious
These were invented by Benny Hill.
Wait ’til you see the commercial!
Will there be a bunch of scantily-clad girls chasing him around in fast-motion or is it stupid?
Ahhhhh…Benny Hill. The AC/DC of comedy.
I was named after one of the bimbos featured on Benny Hill. (I’m not saying they’re all bimbos- this one really was though.) And then 20-something years later I’m dating an English guy who loves Benny Hill. SCORE
Sometimes people name their kids after who or what they want them to aspire to.
Aren’t we though? =D
The party continues! Every time I finished a page of reading, one or two new reviews would be added. (Okay, so I’m a slow reader.) BTW you must read the very first review. I fear it is a serious one, hopefully not submitted by an adult, either. In any case, it is the review that launched a thousand snarks.
I think the original comment is actually planted from BIC so it’s even better. Click on her name – “Andrea” only reviews BIC products and is apparently blown away by very pen or pencil she picks up….my favorite quote of hers is “I did not realise writing could be so sensual! Great for exams and times when you need to write for a long time.” what kind of exams does she sit for?
Before the pen she was only good at oral exams…
Well there is a school for sexual expertise in Vienna…
I have always loved Vienna. I have another reason now. Perhaps they need the classes though, given Vienna sausages…
Hands up everyone who left a new review.
*Raises hand* Which site is yours on? Mine is the one on the Amazon US site that says when I use a ‘legitimate’ (man’s) pen, my body has a way of shutting that whole thing down. At least that’s what my congressperson says. Thank God for the ladypens!
Someone wrote a review on the UK site as Capt. Rum from Blackadder, played by Tom Bakrr. “Aahh, you have a WOMAN’S pen!!!”
I am in love.
*raises hand* I left the MacGyver review on the US Amazon page. You are my role model.
*raises hand* I apparently used them as tampons, and was very dissatisfied.
I was led to the reviews by a darling Scottish friend…and nearly peed myself laughing at work. So, I admire all of you, and am somewhat terrfied now.
Some of us were Irish, see if you can guess which review is mine
I read these this morning before class. Fucking hilarious.
I finally figured out how to make them work… they can only be used in the kitchen. But still great for grocery lists and writing questions I desperately need my husband to answer when he gets home.
They also have a built-in sensor that disables a car engine from turning over should they come within close proximity of a vehicle.
Bic also makes a “Voter Helper for Her” that helps a woman cast her votes at the polls based on “hotness”.
Incorrect. It actually just marks the same box as her husband/boyfriend. The fact that it always chooses the hotter candidate is ‘coincidence’.
It says a lot about the boyfriend/husband.
Here are more “products for her” (snarky, of course), including a clock for her, that lets you know when it’s time to settle. http://www.npr.org/blogs/monkeysee/2012/08/28/160172634/nobody-not-even-your-mom-has-such-small-hands-10-other-products-for-her
It better make an automatic heart over each i, or I want my money back
These are available in the tampon aisle.
the blondes have a vagina full of pens and are attempting to write checks with a kotex
If you tell them they have it backwards, they’ll try to write checks with their chooch.
A friend of mine went to a sex show in Amsterdam and from her descriptions, I suspect the star could’ve managed to fit all the pens above into her cooch. All of them. At the same time. I’m glad I didn’t see that show, or I’d probably swear off the pink taco forever.
Flashback to an episode of Real Sex….
I’d like to buy 2, but I only have 5 of these green paper things in my purse. Can I afford them?
You should wait until your husband comes home and ask him. Men are naturally better counters than women. It’s a scientific fact. Plus, you’ll probably have to get the green light for a purchase like that.
Don’t confuse her with science and driving jargon, you insensitive clod!
You’re right. I’ll start over:
STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE. A MAN WILL COME HELP YOU SOON.
And by “confuse” you mean “make her worry her pretty little head”, right?
Don’t confuse her with the difference between pink and green, you insensitive clod!
I thought colors were the only things these dames knew about! Now who’s insensitive?
Women get their color advice from magazines and Martha Stewart. Rumor is, women can’t see color at all.
Cyndi Lauper lied in “True Colors” Noooooooooo!
In Cyndi’s defense, she never said what those colors were. Could’ve been just grayscale, for all we know, or those really cheap rainbow stickers that only come in red, yellow and blue.
Also, which end does the lipstick come out of?
CAUTION: This is apparently not make-up and if you try to use it as such it will make an owchie in your face-seeing-things.
Like mutton chops from the other day?
Maybe she thought she was using a lady pen.
Tragically, this is how many upstanding young ladies attempt to draw on beautiful eyelashes and Cindy Crawford moles, but end up with handlebar moustaches and mutton chops. Somebody should really start marking these pens more clearly, they are terribly perplexing!!
“Sharpie” implies only a man gets to use it.
Yes, I only have one good eye now. IT’S NOT EYELINER, PEOPLE!!
Oh MAN… thanks GypsyRoseMe, I am crazy excited but you just gave me a new badass story to explain to people how I became visually impaired in one eye. (I also tell them that my central line scars are from a fight to the death with bikers and that my beta burns are from saving a house full of orphans.)
Gypsy got just the one eye and knows your pain. Respect for MST3K!
…repeat to yourself that it’s just some pens, ‘I should really just relax!’
Which reminds me of this woman who colored her hair…using crayons
This is like when they put a dress on the Tasmanian Devil and call it his sister.
It IS his sister. It’s not her fault that she’s homely! She has a great personality, can whip up a souffle like nobody’s business, keeps a spotlessly clean house, and is a wicked canasta player. Don’t judge!
You forgot the part about making her own clothes.
Or Jethros sister in the Beverly Hillbillies. Remember Jethrine? Sure fooled me.
Or Santina Marella. I hope someone gets the reference. Really, I do.
I’ve never felt so understood by something with balls until now.
I purchased these Pens for my wife.
However they were very disappointing when trying to use them at my desk, or while out fishing on my boat.
They only seem to work when near the Sink, in my kitchen or by the Ironing board.
I plan on continuing to read all 151 of these…but for now this one is my favorite.
I thought HK had shopped those comments. Not so. It is PAGE after PAGE after PAGE of fabulous snark. Including:
Sparkly and they smell like patriarchy … my favorite!, 28 Aug 2012
ME NEEDED PEN FOR TO WRITE. ME PICK UP PEN. PEN SMALL. PEN SAY ‘FOR WO MAN’. ME MAN. ME USE PEN. PEN NO WRITE! WHY PEN NO WRITE!
PEN BREAK WHEN MAN SLAM PEN INTO MAN CAVE BRICK WALL. PEN GONE. STILL NEED PEN. STILL NEED WRITE.
BIC PEN FOR WO MAN NO WORK FOR ME MAN. WHAT ‘WO’ MEAN?
oh Hell, just go read… them… ALL.
I wish Pilot would come out with one of these.
I’d like to fly a plane! Weeeee!
Have I got good news for you–Bic’s coming out with a new version WITH WINGS!
Maybe that’s the answer to the question I had….WTF are those things up around the “For Her?” Feathers? Paintbrushes? And what do they have to do with women?
I think they’re fallopian tubes.
I got the impression that they were swamp reeds I could weave together to make a new apron because my husband cut me off after I used one of the pens to write a check for a hundred bajillion dollars. I THOUGHT THAT’S HOW MUCH BONNETS COST
I thought it was wheat, which confuses me because I could swear I’ve read before that symbolically, wheat has masculine connotations.
Holy crap, Mugsy, I am so glad the kids are asleep – I just laughed so hard I hurt my throat and have to go get a drink.
I haven’t seen such robust levels of mockery since Dr. Pepper came out as Dr Pepper Ten.
I should know better than to look at regresty in class. reading those reviews almost made me bust out laughing in the middle of class.So trying not to cry.
What makes it better is it is a Women’s History class.
Then you’re not learning proper HERstory. It’s only valid if the class is labeled WOMBYN’S HERstory class.
Damnit, you are right! I can’t wait til we learn midwivfry and how to make homemade tampons. Too bad our teacher is a man!
And why is W just an M on its back? Literacy itself is sexist!
Also, W looks like those cone bras that Madonna used to wear. Symbol of oppression!!
Get some Matches! We will teach it a lesson!
You mean Watches???? Time’s up, oppressors!
Finally, a writing product that addresses the huge difference in writing needs between the genders! Do they automatically put little hearts above the “i”s for you?
Yes, but only if you’re writing a shopping list or a sweet little note to put in hubby’s lunch bag along with his perfectly-cut sandwich. I tried to use one of these for my chem homework and it just seized up and tried to write a flirty note to the prof instead.
Great Now I know what 50 Shades of Stupid was written with. DO NOT BUY THIS PEN!! Pure evil!!
I tried to write an essay about post-war Russian art but instead a story about a sparkly vampire that can save a character who’s totally-not-me came out!
This made me LOL. My former niece-in-law was annoyingly womanly dumb. I always referred to her (out of earshot of course) as “Jodi-with-an-I-dotted-with-a-Heart”. Seriously.
Out of earshot I call my sister-in-law “my brother’s fucking wife” and “that lying cunt.”
“Former” could be my favorite word some day.
If I ever do that would some FJL please kill me & put me out of my misery?
I think this may take the cake as the most condescending product ever.
Well, it’s at least close.
We bought a baby monitor and the suggested uses pamphlet had illustrations of: lady vacuuming, lady doing dishes, lady gardening…not one man doing any household chore.
The gardening part was pretty progressive. Picturing a woman OUTSIDE the house (not to hang clothes on the line) is a bold move for them. What’s next? A woman DRIVING????
Fuck that, she was wearing PANTS!
PANTS?!? PANTS?!? Next she’ll be demanding to vote or get equal pay. She can monitor the baby just fine by strapping it to her back while doing chores thankyouverymuch.
And why WOULD she need a baby monitor? She keeps the baby strapped to her back while she does all the chores around the hovel, uh, house, just waiting for the best possible moment of her day–HUBBY COMES HOME. Now her life is complete.
Gardening as fine, as long as she keeps her undersized paws and miniature pretend tools off the lawn.
For me, it’s a dead heat with this one.
The bow really drives the point home.
It’s pretty awesome when someone tries to gender-identify a completely non-gender-specific utilitarian object, like a “for-her paper-shredder” or a “for-him garbage can”.
What is wrong with people? Or more specifically, Marketers?
I know I get really, really irritated when I see those petite little pink handled tools intended just for us chicks. The petite pink hammer would be a kind of ironic implement to beat someone within an inch of their life with, though.
I dunno, but I went to an Office Max yesterday for binder clips, and found great glee in seeing that over half of all the purse-shaped, fashion-forward, little wimmins office supplies were clearanced because nobody wanted them.
Nailed it, Matt.
I gave it a whack, Zippy.
“Come on you guys, stop already! I said it was “Jammer Time! Why don’t you listen? And no, you can’t touch this. Again.”
MC Hammer brings two words to mind: Career longevity.
It will always be “Hammer Time”. Always.
Packaging is important to women!
Lemon Bombs, your posts are like bat piss.
They are a shining shaft of gold when all around is darkness.
I read the first selling point as “you’ll never get locked in your underwear drawer.”
People joke about caffeine, but the brain really does not function before coffee is supplied in liberal doses.
I was half tempted to get one of those as a joke for my cousin. She loves girly polka-dotted shit. And she works as a carpenter. For $16 plus shipping, though, I can buy a hammer and paint the polka-dots myself.
Questionably related, but I find it amusing that one of the toughest, most expensive professional hammers one can buy is named the “Stiletto”.
“We invented a kick-ass hammer for the manliest of carpenters. We shall christen it: Stiletto.”
“After high heeled shoes?”
“Everything is about shoes for you, Gary! NO! I mean after the dagger!”
“Because hammers are so well known for cutting.”
“… I hate you, Gary.”
“High heeled shoes, it is.”
At least when you take that to the workshop, no guy’s gonna steal it from you.
Not a condescending product per se, but a pest control company rep recently attempted to sell me his company’s services at my door by asking if I ran from bugs. Yes, because I’m an empty-headed, outdated stereotype. Please, send big mens with the poisons to take care of poor li’l me!
Sheeit, I pick those fuckers up and play with ‘em. The bugs, that is. Not the pest control company reps.
I’m an Entomologist and a woman- I can’t tell you how many times people have said to me, “There are GIRLS that like bugs?” Ha, I was the one that the GUYS called to come take care of the critters!
A cake baked by a barefoot and pregnant woman…
I posted the Buzzfeed version of this story on my facebook, and my friend who works for Amazon immediately showed it to his team, and plans to show it to their Bic rep.
Initial response from Amazon team: “Jesus, is this real? We carry this? Can we…not?”
I know they wouldn’t go for it, but I’d love to tell them we don’t mind them being on there if they change the name to Bic for Bitches. And co-market Felt Tips for Fat Jealous Losers.
So good to see that Bic is finally reaching out to a demographic that the pen industry had been missing for decades. I mean, what did they expect us to do, use MAN pens? I may even leave the kitchen to go buy one if I get a moment between pregnancies. Goodness gracious, I hope I can figure out how the car works.
DON’T IT’S A DEATH TRAP! Last week I couldn’t make the garage door go up (I even said open sesame!) and the car-monster tried to murder me with smoke. Just run into your closet and hide in a pile of necklaces, it’ll be OK.
I’m so glad it’s easy glide. Before now, I had to work out with my pink hand weights for 20 minutes just to get up the strength to push ink onto paper via a rolling tube.
Now there’s more time in my schedule to make pastry, craft darling little napkin rings out of toilet paper holders, and iron the sheets!
You’ll iron the sheet, missy, AFTER you iron your husband’s underwear!
Yes take your husband off the bed, then take the underwear off him before ironing his underwear. Women are delicate and easily confused so they need detailed instructions
Protip: take them off the bed first.
I know right? I’ve been writing in my menstrual blood all these years….who knew there was a better way?
A man did, that’s who.
All this time, and I wasn’t even aware pens had genders. Though that would explain why the ones I have in my purse keep multiplying-obviously, I’ve mixed my male and female pens up! How do you tell if it’s a boy pen or girl pen?
I don’t know, but watch out for those pins and coat hangers:
Well then all my pens are gay because I’ve got negative population growth.
Bic Pens for Her is the new Wolf Shirt.
HEY, nothing will ever unseat Three Wolf Moon’s glory.
This does come pretty damn close, though.
I have hopes of a world without Ed Hardy shirts and other ridiculous crap with his brand on it (7-11 sells fucking Ed Hardy incense).
“After very careful market research, we at Bic realized that the only thing women need to write is recipes. With that in mind, the new Bic For Her features a built in thermometer so she doesn’t have to stop writing recipes to find out when the roast is at the perfect serving temperature for when her husband comes home. This truly is the pen of the future. And by “future”, we mean 1952.”
And an alarm goes off when it’s time to make Him a Martini so you can be standing by the door holding it when he arrives. That’s why they launched Telstar.
Oh, I get it now. These are the official ladypens of the 2012 Republican Party platform.
You are someone who’s obviously visited the Miriam Adelson Woman Up Pavilion at the Republican National Convention.
Oh god, i immediately connected the two as well.
No better way to get young women’s votes than by emphasizing the importance of being a mom/wife. MOMMY, WHEN I GROW UP I WANT TO BE A BRIDE.
I’d facepalm, but I am holding one of these pretty pretty pens, and I can’t figure out how too do it without stabbing myself in the eye. Oh dear!
Throw it away, quick! If you don’t, it’ll start forcing you to make a “best friend collage”, and then writing hearts and everyone’s names and “2 kool 4 U” type phrases in bubble letters!
It’s OK, it’s “Easy Glide.” It’ll just slide right in like a tampon applicator.
another great one:
Gays, we can use these too!
Imagine me, squealing hysterically with delight, when I realised I could now buy these over the internet! No more furtive trips to Staples, dressed in a mac and sunglasses, or the inevitable shame of the lady behind the till asking for a price-check.No. These pens now arrive at my door in a discreet package labelled only ‘amazon’. When signing for them at the door I loudly proclaim “FINALLY, MY TOP-GEAR CALENDAR HAS ARRIVED” for the benefit of my neighbours, before rushing upstairs, tearing off the paper, and resuming my letter writing to Jake Gyllenhaal. Heterosexual male pens were far too heavy for my weak, limp wrists. Their dark colours would never let me be ‘true’ to ‘myself’. Finaly, I can write with pride, secretly in my bedroom with the curtains drawn.
This seems like a fair exchange for control over our own bodies. Why fight for reproductive rights when we get ballpoint pens? Quit being so selfish, ladies. We have everything!
I need one of these to write an apology to a woman having a prolonged rage burn because I pointed out that they sedate the fuck out of everyone for colonoscopies but don’t offer anything if it’s a Female Problem exam, including biopsies. She’s still snarling, 24 hours and 1500 miles away. Along with the apology, one of these pens with which to puncture the gynecologist so he can share … Oh, they aren’t weapons? I will pout and stamp my feet…
Sadly they do not sedate people nearly enough sometimes… it depends on the doctor and the history of the patient. I had to be semi-awake for many even as a pediatric patient and it was at a Top 100 hospital. SOURCE: I’ve had 11 colonoscopies.
Fortunately, I was asked before my first colonoscopy… and the specialist quite understood when I said I didn’t want to know anything about it. Still don’t, when the time comes around every year (no need to ask).
The only way these could be better is if the rubber grips were ribbed, for my pleasure.
No no. That might lead to impure thoughts and immoral activities. Activities that might lead you to neglect your sammich making and laundry folding activities.
But I’m fat and ugly because I don’t spend exhaustive amounts of my income on the cosmetics and diet industries! There’s no way I’ll ever be married.
What is it you’re squandering your pathetic income on instead of man-nabbing products? Your parents should still be providing for you in return for practice-drudgery!
You’re coddling them!
Well, becoming a crazy cat lady IS the only acceptable alternative to landing a man. Good to see you have your priorities straight!
Look at the closeup picture. They went one better. The rubber grips have a floral scroll design. I am not really sure what that does for pleasure, but you could give it a try.
I now want to quit my job and write snarky Amazon reviews all day.
I am just thumbing up fucking everyone here. I love you people.
Seriously, I can’t top any of this so I’m not even going to try.
If you’re making something as stupid as a “women’s pen” with “girly colors”, why would you make the ink black?
It’s like this terrible idea was poorly thought out!
The politically correct term would be octopi, you ink sac.
No, the politically correct term would be “differently-armed sea beings”, you tentacle muncher.
I see what you squid there.
So you’re gonna drag squideses down into the abyss with you too? What a pin-cephalopod
All of you beak quiet!
Octopodes. For too long have you Latin-suffixing pigdogs oppressed our eight-legged people! Feel my inky wrath!
Im giving each of these posts a gold star fish you plankton and chum suckers
Finally! The perfect Christmas gift! Now I can go take a nap and eat some bon bons.
And beg your husband for the sex he doesn’t wan’t. I feel so lied to by Married With Children…
1) Before I “Feel the Smoothness”, I need to know if the “Easy Glide” was hypoallergenic.
2) I tried to use these whilst bitchy net-snarking, but they kept punching holes in my screen.
I made a mistake typing and smeared the Wite-Out before it was dry. Now I can’t read anything on the computer.
Nothing a cup of bleach per gallon of water won’t fix right up, ladies.
If you’re quiet and listen carefully, you can actually hear the career of the team leader for this product being ruined.
I wonder what pen will be used to sign his or her* dismissal paperwork.
(*God forbid this was thought up by a woman)
Good thing they thought ahead and made the Slips Pink!
Someone would have had to invent a pink slip just for this occasion if they didn’t already exist.
If you order now, we’ll throw in a ream of “Bic-For-Her Period Resistant Stationery” for those heavy flow writing sessions.
A whole ream? Surely not. A pad.
These beautilicious writing devices make me wish I was Barbie. *sob*
GODDAMMIT I HAVE A DEADLINE TODAY! WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME? MUST. NOT. CLICK. LINK.
yes I know I’m shouting. it’s a capslock kind of day. for serious.
You need a pinker pen. And some Valium.
These pens are perfect for those “Do you like me? Yes/No/Maybe notes”.
If they wanted to improve these pens in the “for her” market, they should probably add automatic husband-nagging devices and a bonbon dispenser. Because that’s all we’re good for, right?
Husband nagging device? Someone’s already thought of that:
This makes me want to take my pretty pink lady pen in my tiny girl hands and stab someone in the eye.
I’ll help. Please let me help.
It has spread to this side of the pond. Here is another Bic For Her item on Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/BIC-Cristal-1-0mm-Black-MSLP16-Blk/dp/B004F9QBE6/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top
One of my favorite comment on this (and there are many) is “Where do the batteries go? I suppose I’d better ask a man. After all, they know so much about our magic ladyparts that they are perfectly confident in legislating for them.”
NPR blogger Linda Holmes suggested some additional products, including “Paper Bag For Her. (Proposed name: “Let’s Do Lunch! Bags.”) These pink paper bags come with a moist towelette, a card listing the calorie counts for popular lunchtime foods, and a packet of sugar-free iced tea mix.”
From the comments: “I strongly suspect that either a) the Let’s Do Lunch! Bag is already on the market somewhere, or b) you should trademark that and FAST. Ditch your other work for the day & phone the Crystal Light marketing tie-in people. You’re sitting on a gold mine. A really, really depressing gold mine.”
Awesome, I didn’t feel like registering for Amazon UK.
I hope my review actually makes it through:
After opening the package, I took out one of these Bic Crystal For Her Ball Pens for a closer inspection. All was well as I ran my delicate, feminine fingers down its smooth, hard shaft but when I rubbed the ball, ink squirted out all over the place! Now I have ink all over my hands and it even got in my hair! Not cool, Bic.
Why didn’t they just go with something like “Bic Pretty”? You don’t have to have a vagina to like pretty.
But what the hell do I know. I’ve only ever had a vagina. More gin please!
I haven’t laughed so hard since my black friend proudly showed me her new glasses with the frames specifically designed for black people ‘s faces. At a cost five times the price of regular non race exploitive frames. They should have marketed these pens to 10 year old girls who might be dumb enough to think they are cute.
As a woman, I am constantly amazed at how manufactures think the only way to get a woman to buy something is to make it pink or purple…these pens among thousands of other products only perpetuate that ridiculous notion…its sad.
Look at it this way, manufacturers market to men as if they were 13 year old boys. Mach 3. Stealth. Turbo. So, it could be worse.
As a woman, I’m constantly amazed at how many women buy it because it’s pink. No lie.
Me too. One of my female neighbors (who is an advanced law student for f’s sake), when confronted with several liquid laundry detergents next to the tenants’ communal washing machines, consistently used the pink stuff only, although it said on the labels that the liquids were color-coded for the intended type of fabric, temperature etc. She argued, unselfconsciously, that she found pink washing liquid most attractive for any type of laundry regardless of the text on the label.
What strikes me absurd about all of this is that pink and purple pens have existed for decades, and a lot of metal refillable pens (like in desk/gift sets) have more slender shafts, if that’s really a concern for someone. None of this is new, except the ~FOR HER~ labeling. Which, in the grand scheme of things, is nothing new, either. So, just… WHY?!?
“Bic Pretty” rolls off the tongue better, and I like the inclusiveness. A lot better than ~for her~, anyway.
I guess “Skinny Bic” would’ve been just asking for extra letters and mispronunciations. Even if it would’ve fit right in with the diet soda cans becoming skinnier to remind their buyers that “LOL even a can can lose weight so what’s your deal?”
This was my favorite review from this side of the pond:
“HULK HATE PUNY PEN,
August 26, 2012 By Brittany -
HULK NEED PEN WRITE NOTE
HULK ONLY FIND BIC FOR HER
HULK SMASH PEN
HULK DEMAND BIC FOR HIM”
I think “By Brittany” really puts the crowning touch on this one.
Oh dear, I had no idea the ladies couldn’t use regular pens. I feel downright ashamed for my lack of enlightenment in this area. I will endeavor to make more feminine pens from now on. Maybe something pinker and designed for writing grocery lists instead of manly tasks like completing crossword puzzles.
And sparkly. Don’t forget to make them sparkly!
You mean this isn’t from Perkele Labs???
Pens, I like that many people create a screen name based on a Regretsy post, but in this case, THE POST CAME TO YOU!
Scared the crap out of me for a sec when I saw it in my FB feed. I was like “Oh shit! HK is calling me out!”
It’s not about you. You forget that, like “team”, there is no “i” in Pens Envy. Why that is, i don’t know.
And I was all disappointed when I found out the post wasn’t about you.
These pens make me think of a discovery I made a few weeks ago. It isn’t really funny, it did make me rather angry. My husband and I have separate bank accounts (trust me,its for the best) and occasionally, I need to put money in his account, which I can do, no problem, however, since I’m not on the account, they never give me a receipt so that I can see how much is in the account. However, when my husband, who is also not on my account, goes to the bank and puts money in my account, they ALWAYS give him an official receipt telling him everything. I mean, I’d like to believe that society has changed to the better and accepts that my husband and I are equal partners, but this makes me feel like that even the people at my bank think “the siwwy widdow wady needs her hubby to monitor her bank account”.
I would be a bitch about it. Go in there with your husband and each put a token amount in. Both use the same teller, with the other one “hiding.” Then when you don’t get your receipt, ask to see the bank manager and complain about the inequality. Maybe they’ll get a clue.
Yeah, I actually thought about marching in there with him and standing there while he puts money in, just to see if they still give him the receipt. But, you know, I’m a lady. I’m far too busy watching LMN while weeping and yakking to my friends on the phone about my period to care what’s going on with my bank account. Oh, and chocolate. And wine. Flowers. Wings. Tiny little babies and kitties.
Not to get sidetracked into a serious discussion, but how are the accounts set up? Are you listed on his account, because if you’re not then you wouldn’t get a balance, while if he is listed on yours, he would. If both your names appear on both accounts or it’s only one name per each account, then yes it’s a double-standard.
Nope, neither of us is listed on the others accounts.
Do you think maybe the problem might have to do with the fact that I live in the same state as Todd Akin?
The answer to that question is alwauys a “yes”– no matter the context.
Also, if this helps, the first time I ever deposited money in my husband’s account, I was told specifically that since I am not on the account, they can’t give me a receipt with the balance on it, only one basically saying “Congratulations, you deposited some money!” or something like that. And so it has been ever since, for me, at least. Well, imagine my surprise when my husband comes home and shows me his full, regular receipt after having deposited money into MY account. Grrrrrrrrrrr.
Also, at our branch, you can’t tell which teller you’re going to get because they’re all hidden behind a wall, and you only see them through a tv screen and talk to them over a phone while you’re making your transaction, so your plan, while I like it a lot, it probably wouldn’t be feasible.
On a side note, I always feel like I’m talking to someone in prison when I go there.
It’s possible they’re trapped in the matrix. Have you seen any tentacle robots hanging around the bank?
Are you Dolores Claiborne? And if not, why not?
“Sometimes you have to be a high riding bitch to survive. Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hang onto.”
My husband’s gone a lot, so I always have a power of attorney to deal with whatever crisis inevitably comes up while he’s away. The POA clearly states that ALL HIS BASE ARE BELONG TO ME. Yet I can rarely get anything done without castigating a supervisor. I should really just record the spiel and save my breath.
Yeah, what’s up with that? Do they think you must just be half crazed with estrogen, otherwise you wouldn’t be making such insane requests? Stuff like this really makes me want to go on a rage rampage on these people with one of those petite, pink, buttfucking annoying girlie hammers.
If you’re in America, you can actually report this bank for violating the Gramm–Leach–Bliley Act. It is unlawful to give private account information to someone who is not a signer on the account. You can probably sue the bank for violating GLBA.
Where’s the matching bra and panties? I want to look smart AND sexy while ironing my husband’s undies.
I bought two (two, mind you!) for Mom for her birthday. I carefully placed them in the best 7-11 plastic bag I had and presented it to her. Imagine my surprise when the pens came flying toward me like those shuriken star things the ninjas use! I still don’t know why she did it. Do you think she was offended by two ladypens together maybe being a lesbian thing? I can’t imagine her not liking French writing instruments.
Good news, though. You remember the old commercial where they shot a Bic biro through a block of wood and it still worked? When the docs pulled the pens out of me at the ER, they said they still worked. So I think I can get my money back.
Have yall seen this little gem here?
They don’t have one for left-handed bananas? I ain’t buying two.
I totally went on a rant about this a little while ago – you should see the reviews for the ones on the US Amazon!
I see the FJLs are leaving their mark there.
The latest feature is the pens automatically change ink color during your period! So the husband knows; “When there’s red on the page, prepare for the rage.”
“Red pen at night, sailors take flight. Red pen in morn, hide all your porn.”
That’s a very old saying here in New England. Truth.
I think I saw that quoted in “The Red Badge of Her Rage”. Or perhaps it was in “Where the Red Fern Growls.”
Oh thank god, I finally have something to go with my tape dispenser.
Love your review. I predict an uptick in snarky reviews for all manner of dumabass products, particularly sexist ones.
Haha I love you Hostilebear.
Customers who bought this item, also bought this item
I sense a theme here.
Marlowe, get your gun.
Yes, but I prefer it in black because then it matches my purse.
Darling, being matchy-matchy with your accessories is SO tacky.
I appologise if this has already been posted but msn.com just picked up this story http://digitallife.today.com/_news/2012/08/28/13529379-bic-pens-for-her-unite-women-and-men-in-snarky-amazon-reviews
NPR, too. http://www.npr.org/blogs/monkeysee/2012/08/28/160172634/nobody-not-even-your-mom-has-such-small-hands-10-other-products-for-her?utm_source=NPR&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=20120828
Linda Holmes, who wrote that piece, lives in my hood. She also hosts a great podcast, “NPR Pop Culture Happy Hour” which is quite good if a wee bit DC-centric.
My personal favorite is from one Shiela:
“Despite the hype, and the colour, and the talk of buttons and tips moving in and out, this was the worst dildo ever.”
I’m not sure these can be operated without gin. Are they safe to use to mix a Pink Lady?
I wrote a review in the US Amazon listing I’m proud of under the name MacGyver.
“At first I was embarrassed about having a yeast infection. But when I confided in my friend Lisa,I found out they’re pretty common. I also found out they’re
not considered an STD, which was a huge relief. When I told her my boyfriend suggested I quit complaining and relive the itch with my Bic pen,she was like, duh, I could’ve told you that; my guy told me the same thing!”
-Marsha, Satisfied Customer
Okay, I’m guessing that ‘Drake Tungsten’s review on the UK site is really by Bronc Drywall.
Now I’m confused. On the desk right next to me there is a Papermate Inkjoy pen. It is dark blue so clearly not designed specially for a wombyn. I picked up the Papermate and showed it the box of Bic For Her pens and explained it all quite carefully. It did nothing and in fact it still writes.
So does that mean that my blue Papermate is gay? It is not at all affected by the nice pink girly pens. Or is it just stupid? Further news is that the HB pencil works too. All right, I had to sharpen it to get to the lead in the pencil, but it still goes.
I’m just about to put a batch of cakes into the oven, and whilst they’re cooking I shall finish ironing my husband’s socks and think about this very troubling problem with my stationery.
When I looked, I just loved the list of “other items customers bought after buying this” – a different set of “Bic for her” pens, a fantasy ebook, a sci-fi ebook about time travel (starring a female detective), and a book on Unix text editors. I think it’s clear who’s buying these pens!
Ok you guys, I’ll admit it…I just purchased 2 packs of these from Amazon. But, in my defense I only got them to send to my little sister as a reminder that while she’s off at college getting all of her “learning”in she shouldn’t loose focus on the real goal: to hone her homemaking skills and catch herself a good man! Am I correct in understanding that the crystal bic for her actually delivers a small shock to the user when her mind wanders into unwomanly territory such as math, science or history? Much like a shock collar is used to train a disobedient dog?
Be fair. Given the current job market, landing a sugar daddy might be a better use of her resources. Of course, with fewer and fewer men making it to college, she might need to settle for a sugar mama…
Poor Bic. They’re not the first pen maker to think this was a good idea, they’re just the first to get called on it by the internet. If you people like crap like this, you should read Pink Think by Lynn Peril. LadyPens have been a thing since at least the 70s, possibly earlier. My copy is currently in a storage unit on a different continent, so I can’t look it up.
Remember the green pens with the plastic daisy on the end? The Astro Turf door mats with the plastic daisy in the corner? Twas a gentler, tackier time, a time for joy for the manufacturers of plastic daisies, now gone the way of the dinosaurs.
I have one of those astro turf mats with the daisy! I also have a huge flock of pink flamingos though…my neighbors hate me…
That’s what Esty is for; a rescue shelter for unwanted plastic daises to live out their days glued to shit & covered in glitter.
Now they make Fasion pens. http://www.amazon.com/BIC-Fashion-Retractable-Assorted-Fashion-FHAP21-ASST/dp/B005YGLA5Y/ref=pd_sbs_op_5
Thankfully these two have fasionable pink and purple ink. I need to ask my husband to buy me some.
Pen? Where is the pink keyboard with floral scroll design for the non-dinosaur woman?
I love this entire thread. And the post. Have you guys heard of Tub O’Towels?
It’s amazing how marketing to different genders changes everything!
Unbelievable. Why isn’t Mr. Man wearing a wedding ring, though? I’m sure the woman is wearing one because woman = children, but children =! out of wedlock, so woman = wedding ring, but it’s odd that the only man in this implied “ideal” household setting isn’t her husband. He isn’t actually doing yard work; he’s cleaning things, so there’s no reason for him to leave it off because she’s cleaning things with hers on.
WHAT TAWDRY DEN OF SIN HAVE I WALKED IN ON HERE?!
There is no “i” in Pens, which is why they are sold in packs of 12.
Even at the risk of being publicly disemboweled, I’m still compelled to post-it:
Maybe if them educated professional marketers would have said this “pen-is” just for us ladies, imagine the butt-stink over not getting their own “pen-is” for men.
I tried to write “fart” with one to test it out, but it only wrote “little flowers”.
I keep peeing on it but it won’t turn pink OR blue :/
This is outrageous and I am getting it thrust into me to protest to the highest court!
Query: Does anyone have the cell number for Sonia Sotomayor?
She has the most “lower-court judicial experience” and like anyone with “lower court experience,” she may kneel to what this is about and suck out the truth for us women with big hands. Some of us don’t need a teeny bic, thank you. Sometimes, big IS better and a good handful is nice for us big handed women to grasp.
Bic, get a variety. My big hands would love to grasp your new writing thing with many enthusiasms, and as long as it is big – I don’t care what color it is.
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