I am really kicking myself over the lost opportunity of cutting collars off of shirts and selling them. Kicking. Myself. Hard.
And all those earrings from the 80s that I just casually threw away. I’m such an idiot!
I’m too artsy for my shirt
Too artsy for my shirt
So artsy it hurts….
And her store is cringeworthy.
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Either something’s seriously wrong with her chin, or she really needs to see a doctor about that goiter.
For a minute I was really disturbed because she looks exactly like me in this picture (if she didn’t have the face doodles and the dog, I don’t have a dog) and I thought I’d somehow taken to crafting and opened an etsy store in my sleep or even worse maybe she was my handcrafted, vintage, steampunk, whimsicle doppelganger.
It was only a brief worry though because it’s a fluke, she looks nothing like me in the other pictures in her store. Phew, panic over.
Apparently she stole your look and my dog. His rabies tag is even green. Creepy.
Could you spare a kick or two for the seller?
I know! Buy them at yard sales and Goodwill for like $2, sell the collars for $20, and burn the shirts! I didn’t know this market existed, and I’m angry now that I didn’t create it find it first.
Canine victim not included.
If I were that dog I would get my tag changed to say “I’m with Stupid.”
If it was the dog’s collar for sale, I’d consider.
Hers, not so much….
He’d better make sure he’s retracted, or he’ll shred it.
Dog says “I’m Thor”.
Person says “Take an athpirin”
At least in this pic she’s not wearing a weird ass dying cactus/Predator thing on her head…
This is one of those don’t-fall-asleep-first-at-the-party warning photos, isn’t it?
The pics were her face is clean are so much prettier too!
Much be a new trend. They’re called temp tats, you’ve probably never heard of them…
You can’t even buy these temp tats in stores!
i want to take the dog from her before they put fake fangs on it.
Mutton chop envy?
Gingham–for the hipster vampire in your life.
Geez, Mom! It’s an updated Dorothy! Don’t you know anything about fashion?
*stomps off and slams bedroom door*
I thought it was more of a commemorative thing for when Bela Lugosi was a guest star on Hee-Haw.
O sweet butt humping jesus on a cactus…..
I only wish I had more up-thumbs to give you!
I scrolled by the photo too fast and she looked like she had a creepy ventriloquist dummy face.
I’ve seen this act.
You can see the dog’s lips move.
ok, but how much does it cost to have someone draw fake mutton chops on me with a Sharpie?
I can’t help but feel that the sharpie-beard somehow mimics the swoop-and-curve of the collars. And that she’s using the bic-chinstrap to draw our attention back to the collar? There has to be a reason for doing this. In every product shot. In a store that only sells disembloused collars. Nothing makes sense to me anymore.
“disembloused” is my new favorite word.
What collar? there was a collar???
Coming soon: sleeves with no shirts, straps with no sandals, and belt loops with no pants. HIGH FASHION
sadly, there’s already straps with no sandal
and of course, sandals with no straps
I like the idea of straps with no sandals. For indoors, or places where I know there is no broken glass, dog dirt, or other things I would not voluntarily put my feet on. Just soles though – now those are fugly.
Wear them together!
No idea if that fits here… but this reminds me of my late Grandma, who was excited about the new invention of panty-liners, and wore them without panties. Just glued them to her nylon tights and was happy to save on laundry this way. Well, the War Generation – used to save on everything. She even “cleaned” the dishes with the water the pasta was cooked in. BTW she din’t die of food poisoning, as everyone expected, but of “heart asthma”. Probably because she smoked not just the tobacco, but the filters of her Marlboros, too.
*used to saving on everything.
(Not as if this improved the quality of my comment in any way)
It says you can wear the stickysandals with socks! ROFL – sorry, I snorted. Please do not tell my father-in-law, or most of Central Florida, about this.
I had some barefoot sandals as a kid. I thought they were the most glamorous and exotic accessory I could find! So Princess Jasmine!
I wonder where the hell I even acquired such a thing?! Probably my grandma. Also, we called them toe-thongs.
And there’s also some ridiculous thing called a “short belt” http://www.shortbelt.com/ Why???????
OH GOD WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE
I don’t even understand what I’m supposed to be looking at. All of the pics look so random and no focus on the actual product… =/
I, what is this, I don’t even… I think I died a little inside.
Also am I the only one that’s concerned the sticky sandals might be uncomfortable? Wouldn’t you have to ‘unstick’ your toes every time you wanted to wiggle them?
But it opens a fucking bottle! Where is your goddamn sense of wonder?
I assume they are some kind of space-age skin magnet and not just flipflop bases with a layer of tacky glue, right? Not because I don’t long for the comfort and ease of gluey feet on a hot summer day, but because I don’t live in a cleanroom.
So if I’m looking at these things correctly, and like Chickadee said, that’s not easy, it’s a short belt that only fits through 2 belt loops on one side of your pants. So you take those 2 loops and cinch them together to keep your pants up.
It seems to me that if you really need a belt to hold your pants up, you might have enough give in the waist that this would wind up pulling them awkwardly and unevenly to one side of your body as it bunches all the extra waistband of your pants into a lump on one side of your waist.
If you don’t need a belt to hold up your pants, then I can’t imagine wearing this for its visual appeal.
Good god, this makes my head ache.
The solution to an awkward and unevenly bunched waistband, of course, is two shortbelts! Or multiples of two shortbelts.
The video totally looks like a fake. In fact the whole thing is so ridiculous I’m sure people would believe you when you said it was an internet joke…..
I’m not sure if I should be sad or laugh
Disembloused is the next favorite scrabble world of the day.
Also, some of us girls, even cis-gendered (born with and comfortable with our Hulabaloo holes) have to wax. Why the fuck would you draw facial hair ON?
“Hulabaloo Holes”. THAT’s what I’ll name my next band.
Once I play an instrument. And become interested in forming a band.
It may have passed for a trendy neck piece but the photo just ain’t cutting it. Although, my staggering inability to take a decent etsy shop is legend so I can’t even say anything. At least I eschew sharpie-chops.
you are collar.
A Regretsy Poem by Bajingoism
“There’s no place like Brooklyn, there’s no place like Brooklyn…”
Waaaaaaaay too much stuff going on in that picture. If it weren’t for the description of the collar being sold I would not have any idea what she was trying to sell.
But also, why spend $20 on a collar when I can cut them off my old shirts and make them for free?
Tell me about it. You know you’ve been on Regretsy for too long when you look at a picture like this and cringe at the cluttered composition.
Crap. I figured I was doing my makeup all wrong – drawing attention to my eyes… It’s all about the chin!
Not to mention picking a style that drastically contrasts with your face shape.
This is what happens when you fall asleep at an Etsy Meetup:
“Haha. Sarah inhaled too much E6000 glue and passed out while she was making Hello Kitty bottle cap necklaces. Let’s write on her face with a sharpie and then make her take a picture!”
Just after this photo was taken- “Stephanie, how many God damn times I gotta say it, get the centerpiece off your head and wash that shit off your face!”
It’s one of those where you can’t tell what’s for sale… the ‘fly’ collar, the Gagaesque lip make-up, or the clusterfuck on her head.
Doggie hairdresser services, was my first thought.
I am surprised I haven’t seen this on a late night infomercial.
I mean they already sell the top half of a camisole
and the bottom half of a camisole
why not just collars?
“Are you tired of buttoning up an entire shirt just to throw a sweater on top of it? Do you want to dress up that plain top sitting in your bottom drawer? Top Collar is the perfect solution. Just look at the difference Top Collar makes in this woman’s wardrobe! For only four payments of $4.99 you can have Top Collar mailed directly to your home. But if you call now we’ll do you one better; we’ll upgrade your order to gingham print with silver tips at no additional cost. Don’t wait, call now. Operators are standing by.”
If only we could have Billy Mays back to shout that at us.
Why, oh why couldn’t Billy have been a vampire?
HI BILLY MAYS HERE
Do you struggle to get your facial hair to grow but it’s just not cutting it? Do you want a mature excuse to draw on your face like only clowns and children do? WELL NOW YOU CAN- with Sharpie Chops! The chops that allow you to express whatever bizarre gender-identity-hipster thing you feel like. We also have Sharpie Moustaches when you’re feeling trendy and ironic.
Buy now and we’ll throw in some Racoon Stripes and Not at All Culturally Inappropriate Face Dots!
I checked out the gettrendytop site, and I had to close my browser because it wouldn’t let me leave, and kept shouting at me. So… thanks, for that.
Cami-Secret or CLEAVAGE-SHAMING WILL-TO-LIVE-DESTROYER?? I can take or leave a belly button.
I love the Cami-Secret commercial. The guy hovering over the exposed boobage amuses me greatly. XD
Glad to have been of service. I mean, oh yeah, THAT guy!
But my boobs are my best feature. Why would I cover my cleavage?
And, even though the cami bottom is just stupid, it does try to resolve one issue – muffin tops. Oh, and whale tails. Sorry, that’s two issues for the price of one! If it worked, and didn’t just clump up round the waist like spare tyres, I would give those out on street corners!
what’s a whale tale?
Ooh! Ooh! I know this one! A whale tail is when the back of somebody’s thong shows above the top of (usually) her trousers when she sits or bends over.
A whale tale is when you tell other people what you saw, and what color it was. As in, “That co-worker neither of us likes was changing the paper in the copier, and I saw a bright red whale tail sticking out of her sweatpants.”
Dickeys have been around for years, but few appreciate their idiotic simplicity. These collars would just flop around and get untucked in a sweater because there isn’t enough material to hold everything in place.
I’m gonna defend the camisecret doodads. They’re like dickys. And there are just situations where it’s hot as balls and I don’t want to wear a shirt under my shirt to make a shirt more modest and professional.
Holy mutilated muttonchops!
Is this the same guy or girl in all the photos? Check out the other items in the shop, and the profile “photo” – ???
wowzers on the profile pic….=/
I call shennagians. No vamp would ever draw on muttonchops.
All the best muttonchops are grown just under the cheekbone, anyway.
But once you’re turned, you can neither cut nor grow your hair anymore. How else is Edward going to insinuate that he’s passed puberty?
Black bra with a white top, how trashy!
“Features include a black and white gingham print, a black button closure and silver earrings attached to the tips.”
Features? Those are the ONLY things you’re getting. Ah…I get it, she’s cut out all the boring stuff and is only selling the features.
Like a birthday cake minus the cake, candles and plate. It features frosting.
I’d buy that.
Agreed. It seems like a strange idea at first, but it actually has a lot going for it. I would totally eat a whole bowl of frosting minus the cake.
Cake is to frosting what glass is to booze. Just a convenient management and delivery system. Now pie, on the other hand…
Pie is, of course, the perfect food. Especially when the recipe involves alcohol.
There’s alcohol pie?
With all things considered, Eddie’s daughter, Martha Wolfgangia Munster, grew up to be a relatively normal person.
She made herself look like a BooBah with mutton chops.
If I were in college, we’d already be “in love” over “The Internet” and I’d be buying plane tickets. And, given hindsight wisdom, I’d be delighted that I ended up sleeping in the park, rather than being bludgeoned and fed to her boa constrictor.
I never get tired of people trying to use their Etsy listing photos as an excuse to show off their boobs, midriff, tattoos, jewelry, body hair, or anything else they REALLY want to be seen, but clearly for modeling their products and not, say, attention or controversy.
I’m damn sure the only reason some of these people have Etsy stores is that Facebook has certain standards regarding gratuitous photos.
…especially that bathing suit post that was on Regretsy like a week ago. She wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that she was pushing her boobs together and of course her tattoo was clearly visible in another. Take that, businessman dad that never believed in my crafts!
Strangely enough, I had that bathing suit in mind when I posted the comment.
Agreed. This collar is stupid, but I could see it working–half of the stupidity is, frankly, the context. Am I a bad person for saying that I have friends this would work on? However, add a redundant dog and Sharpie chops, and you have a first-year student at the Helena Bonham Carter Academy of Hair Styling.
Maybe the seller just wants to be a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. She draws on her face and wears collarless shirts to be quirky and charming! See also: Zooey Deschanel School for Free Spirits
*shirtless collars haha
I heard a rumor that the dog was gay, but I don’t know. I took a closer look at the picture, and that’s definitely not a beard.
I SAW WHAT YOU DID THERE.
What I want to know is – where’s the rest of the shirt, and why isn’t she selling matching cuffs?
She certainly doesn’t bother with careful finishing of her works of art. In some photos you can clearly see loose threads, and the collar points are all limp and saggy. Not that I’m against limp and saggy in general, but collars ought to be pert and pointy. These, clearly, are pointless.
You must be referring to the “neo-primitive Appalachian scissors finishing”. (Sorry, an Anthropologie is opening up nearby.)
Concept: okay. Price: a bit high. Presentation: could be better. Cupcakey names for everything: *snort*.
…not only does she think she lives in Westeros, she recommends they can be worn with ‘a pile of necklaces’. I think that much bling might be counterproductive… I mean the White Walkers would hear you coming from a mile away.
“why isn’t she selling matching cuffs?”
Oh! It’s deconstruction time, baby!
So this is how Alia Shawkat keeps herself busy between acting roles
Remember a few years ago when Boy George tried to hide the fact that he has jowls now by painting his neck black? This kind of reminds me.
I eagerly await the gingham Nehru jacket.
Girl has some professional competition!
Ione Skye looks really pleased with herself.
The dog looks exactly like my dog. I did a double take when I saw this post.
The saddest thing, for me, I just read an article in this month’s Glamour that stated that these “collars” are the hot accessory for fall. I give up on fashion:/
It’s OK Babs. I give up on life in general. But my buddy Vodka just keeps me hanging on.
Sweetie, you’ve got something on your chin.
Would this qualify as a dickey? or is that just if there is an actual chest piece?
Collar? Tips? Vamp? Huh? You mean there’s something in the image besides the dog? The dog isn’t $20 if I drive to wherever the hell this is and pick it up? DAMMIT.
Are shirtless collars called SKOLLARS?
Can someone please attempt to explain the description on this item?
“I can’t add large numbers in my head, but I think Miss Honey would still be proud of this little art project.
Features include white fabric, a white button closure, and multicolor paint splatters.Guaranteed to keep you out of the chokey.”
I get that Miss Honey is a teacher, but why would she have any reason to know that you can’t add large numbers in your head by looking at this collar thingy?
It’s like saying “I can’t remember all 50 state capitals, but my mom would sure be proud of this bookcase!”
Also, the use of “chokey” seems rather ironic, considering the product.
The description is based on the book/movie Matilda. The chokey was a punishment by the principal in the text, and the protagonist (Matilda) could add large numbers in her head, read a lot, and was telekinetic.
However, Mrs. Trunchbull (the principal) tossed a student by her hair out a window for having pig-tails, so I doubt that collar would keep anyone out of the “chokey”.
Oh, now I get it….
Wait, nah. I don’t really get it.
Why is she comparing her art project to Matilda? Is she trying to say she’s a genius or that she’s an 8 year old trapped in an older person’s body?
I have no clue. I caught the reference she was making, that doesn’t mean I thought it made sense.
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