These sticks NATURALLY FELL, guys. NATURALLY. I certainly did NOT go out and cut these branches down to make a quick buck. It was natural. Mother Nature bestowed her gifts upon me, who am I to deny her? She only let the ones that are all perfectly symmetrical with the same amount of twigs on each branch fall, and made sure none of them lost any needles in the ferocious storm that blew them down. It’s all NATURAL.
I wanna know where Etsy was when I was a kid dragging this sort of stuff home by the wagon-load. I could’ve provided you with all of this, and since I was young and stupid, I would’ve been perfectly glad to just GIVE it to you. Would’ve saved my mom the trouble of throwing it away once it dried out (except for the pine cones-she saved those for Thanksgiving decorations).
They’re not handmade – they’re listed in supplies.
By this argument, I am going to put up some All Natural EarthGifted Organic Artisan Southern Hemisphere Air for sale in Supplies. After all, what craft project can function without oxygen?
I’ll be doomed once the Chinese resellers start selling extra cheap oxygen to compete with mine though.
Well, you know, there might be people less fortunate than say… me in the midwest who could easily just walk in my backyard to get these.
I mean, you have to think of the less fortunate people who do not have easy access to pinecones, cedar sprigs, driftwood, beach pebbles or acorns.
Though, the sticks and rocks are unacceptable. I don’t know anywhere where you can’t find a plain boring old rock for free. Now… a petosky stone on the other hand… In Michigan, you can exchange those for a lot of money you know the right people. I have a huge petosky stone that is easily worth hundreds. I’m holding onto it. I actually have a lot of petoskies. You can also make big bucks by finding morel mushrooms, especially at the organic foods store where they will buy them off of you.
Won’t someone think of us city folks? The best I could do for a rock would be a chunk of fallen concrete, or maybe I could dig around in one of those big pavement planters and find a few pebbles.
Can’t you see, if I want rocks, I HAVE to have them mailed to me!??
Ah, but if you mail leafy natural things across borders, the international trade committees have fits. It’s how we got Dutch Elm Disease here in Canada, as well as the French Disease. So, actually, these lovely sellers may be endangering the environment by helping to export whatever bacteria and microorganisms their samples host.
Hey – “furry little jerks” is the nickname we have for our corgis!
Unfortunately, their primary skill is an ability t̶o̶ ̶w̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶d̶e̶a̶d̶ to alert us whenever another dog walks by on the bike path. This skill has proved very difficult for us to monetize.
I cut my Poodle’s hair/fur last night and ended up with a whole bag of it, I could have made a fortune. Plus, I have two dogs, so could be buy one get one free!
Mmy furry little jerks need to start earning their keep too for just the treats I buy them, they are getting pricey!
I believe you can spin and knit poodle hair. I am certain you can spin and knit samoyed hair. A friend, Joan Wood, did this for her son who had two huge white samoyeds. It did look pretty good, but was a little funky when it got damp. On the other hand, he was a roadie, so he was also a little funky most of the time.
I get *lots* of requests for spinning cat hair. I keep trying to explain it doesn’t spin well generally, and predator hair smells when it’s wet, and when I see that the requester hasn’t listened to a word I said, I lie my socks off and say I’m allergic. Ugh.
No one has ever asked me to spin cat hair, but I sure have made a lot of dog fur yarn over the years.
The all-time worst, though, was wolf hair. Believe it or not, humans somehow apparently bred most of the smell out of wolves when they domesticated them into dogs.
Ponder that statement next time you have a wet dog in the house!
How about werewolves? Do they go with the dog funk or the wolf stench?
I have a science fiction con to go to next month. There could be a panel idea in that…
I should start charging ‘crafters’ to come onto my property… I live in a cabin in the woods with a creek, and I’m pretty sure I would get rich. BONUS: We find a lot of animal skulls.
Although I can’t be held responsible when the spirit of a possum comes back from the dead seeking vengeance because his bones had feathers and beads glue-gunned to them.
Not only would I like to tear white privileged hipsters from their coffee shops and subject them to the horrors of stinging insects, thorny brambles and lack of wi-fi, but I know they would agree to it, because A. they’re totally in harmony with their mother earth and composting organic foods and B. they could collect some twigs and flowers and sell them to OTHER white privileged hipsters online.
I live in the Seattle area. We have stinging insects and thorny branches immediately adjacent to the wifi and lattes – wild blackberries can be picked near half the Starbucks here at this time of year.
I guess I could try to convince people to pay me to shove them into a foil-lined car trunk with the brambles and hornets…
TOP TEN ACTIVITES AT ETSY’S SUMMER CAMP
The Etsy Summer Camp… where middle-aged suburban white women unleash the inner child that they pretty much are anyways!
10. Make boondoggles using dog hair
9. Steampunk Native American day… why go for one when you can have both at once?
8. Cupcake snack break!
7. Glue gun safety 101
6. Freeze tag… everybody gets a participation medal, and we don’t keep score! ZOMG YAY
5. Hiking to Applebee’s
4. How to upcycle your alimony checks into bulk purchases from Asian factories
3. Tye-dying Skants Day
2. Drum circle and tribal dancing
And the number one Etsy Summer Camp activity is…
1. How to combat fat, jealous losers
I have some piñon cones. If anyone is interested. It helps if you have zero geographical knowledge, because theese are from New Mexico. Yes! NEW Mexico. Not that old Mexico. These are not from a standard pine tree, either. These are from a Piñon.
I also have Ponderosa cones.
Has Etsy had a treasury of invasive species yet? I’m thinking of going to the Oregon coast and prying some “authentic Japanese wabi-sabi distressed artifacts” off the dock that the tsunami sent over. They might be full of borer worms and barnacles, though.
Oh oh! But those are FRENCH pine cones! Surely that makes a difference? Anything French is automatically extra creamy and special. Just look, they’re even on parade!
If they are on parade shouldn’t they be in a line. Also, if I mix the French pine cones with my U.S. ones, will the French ones surrender or just make fun of the fact that the U.S. ones are so much fatter? Just wondering.
Whew! Nobody copied my product line. So I am still YOUR only source for:
Poison Oak Potpourri
Mushroom Medley (Russian Roulette style)
Gourmet Foxtail Salad
Wheatgrass analog for those allergic to wheat – mowed daily!
Sorry, not selling the rocks you may see. I need them to keep my chakras balanced, dudes.
Petsoky stones, they’re not big fat coral things? Whoops, I may have a gold mine in a bucket in my den. I mean I have buckets of rocks and when I do sell them I feel a little guilty because, well they are just rocks.
I guess I just don’t have the right cupcake mindset. I have to start marketing myself better!
Better visit your national park now, before it’s gone.
It won’t be long before all the salable resources there (e.g. twigs, leaves, bark, rocks, acorns, trees, plants, animal parts, sand, dirt) are snatched by some enterprising individuals. All that will be left is a gaping opening down to the earth’s mantle; and rather than “national parks” we’ll have “national hell holes”, with nice parking lots of course.
$5 for a bunch of cedar branches? $9 for pinecones. Jesus I’m sitting on a veritable gold mine in my backyard. What I used to think of as a hideous mess that my husband never gets around to helping me clean up is actually a cash cow.
$24 for a tiny piece of “driftwood,” shit I’ve got whole goddamn trees laying in my yard. For the record I’ll give them to anyone who gets them the hell out of here FOR FREE! It’s like a Secret Santa, only we’re using eachother for personal gain.
Eh, people outside of Etsy are already selling most of this shit.
I used to keep dart frogs in naturalistic habitats, and I’ve paid for driftwood, river stones, weird looking rocks, and oak and magnolia leaves other hobbyists collected from their yards. Oak trees don’t grow out here, so I couldn’t just pick them up myself. We do get the pine cones, but the local grocery store sells them during the holidays. Unfortunately, the pine cones they sell are cinnamon scented, and the smell is about enough to knock you over from 50 yards away.
Never paid for random bundles of sticks or line cones, though.
I was just wondering if I could start selling the mint that wants to own my back yard. Tagging it “natural herbal weed” would definitely generate some hits, I imagine.
Raw sea rocks? Don’t they know that you are never supposed to eat raw sea rocks. You could get Trichinosis. You have to cook the rocks so that the internal temperature is at least 2500K.
I used to do this sort of thing when I was little, like when we cut down the apple tree and I “sold” the fragrant bark to my parents for like one dollar total. I grew out of it once I realized more how an actual economy works; it would seem these people have yet to notice that the general public wants to give money for things of actual value.
I wonder how much I could charge for my widow maker pinecones? Those suckers weigh around 20 pounds a piece at least. One of them took out my Volvos windshield last fall (not to self: do not park under that pine tree idiot).
I live in Burlington, and I’m proud to call The Only Sane Person in the World my neighbor! (Well, almost– the New North End is a bit of a walk.)
If I ever feel like life is making too much sense, however, I’ll just wander through the downtown stores and be reminded that for $245, I could either buy a semester’s worth of textbooks or one small wooden statue hand-carved in Bali. Gotta love this rich hippie town.
August 20, 2012 at 11:28 am
Hey hey… its “Organic Upcycling.”
August 20, 2012 at 12:00 pm
That driftwood would look so hot on some barnwood.
August 20, 2012 at 12:08 pm
If you used driftwood to make a barn…
WOODCEPTION!!!
Now I’ve got wood.
August 20, 2012 at 11:30 am
When life gives you sticks, make $3.25.
August 20, 2012 at 12:10 pm
When life gives you sticks, stick it to somebody.
August 20, 2012 at 1:12 pm
Or beat them over the head with it.
August 20, 2012 at 11:47 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
August 21, 2012 at 7:58 pm
or $24. it depends on where you collect the sticks and how creamily you can describe them.
(yes, I sell sticks and rocks in one of my etsy shops.)
August 20, 2012 at 11:31 am
The rocks guy is a breath of fresh New England air…
August 20, 2012 at 11:58 am
I’m sure they have that air in their shop available.
August 20, 2012 at 11:59 am
For $50 a pint.
August 21, 2012 at 12:15 pm
She’s also on Craigslist rather than Etsy.
August 20, 2012 at 11:32 am
Doesn’t everyone need some organic storm fallen incense twigs or what I like to call, yard waste?
Once again I am missing out.
August 20, 2012 at 11:35 am
These sticks NATURALLY FELL, guys. NATURALLY. I certainly did NOT go out and cut these branches down to make a quick buck. It was natural. Mother Nature bestowed her gifts upon me, who am I to deny her? She only let the ones that are all perfectly symmetrical with the same amount of twigs on each branch fall, and made sure none of them lost any needles in the ferocious storm that blew them down. It’s all NATURAL.
August 20, 2012 at 12:23 pm
Has Mother Nature been mass-crafting again. We’ll have her barred from Etsy yet!
August 20, 2012 at 12:48 pm
No you silly, Mother Nature is part of a collective.
August 20, 2012 at 6:26 pm
I wanna know where Etsy was when I was a kid dragging this sort of stuff home by the wagon-load. I could’ve provided you with all of this, and since I was young and stupid, I would’ve been perfectly glad to just GIVE it to you. Would’ve saved my mom the trouble of throwing it away once it dried out (except for the pine cones-she saved those for Thanksgiving decorations).
August 20, 2012 at 11:34 pm
Can I ask an obvious question? How are ANY of these things handmade???
Especially when they fell off a tree during a storm – I mean it’s not like the seller actually CUT them down and thereby “hand altered” them.
August 21, 2012 at 5:44 am
They’re not handmade – they’re listed in supplies.
By this argument, I am going to put up some All Natural EarthGifted Organic Artisan Southern Hemisphere Air for sale in Supplies. After all, what craft project can function without oxygen?
I’ll be doomed once the Chinese resellers start selling extra cheap oxygen to compete with mine though.
August 21, 2012 at 9:43 am
But the Chinese oxygen from reseller shops will smell like the anxiety of young children trying to make quota.
August 20, 2012 at 11:35 am
Well, you know, there might be people less fortunate than say… me in the midwest who could easily just walk in my backyard to get these.
I mean, you have to think of the less fortunate people who do not have easy access to pinecones, cedar sprigs, driftwood, beach pebbles or acorns.
Though, the sticks and rocks are unacceptable. I don’t know anywhere where you can’t find a plain boring old rock for free. Now… a petosky stone on the other hand… In Michigan, you can exchange those for a lot of money you know the right people. I have a huge petosky stone that is easily worth hundreds. I’m holding onto it. I actually have a lot of petoskies. You can also make big bucks by finding morel mushrooms, especially at the organic foods store where they will buy them off of you.
August 20, 2012 at 11:44 am
Don’t worry, Etsy’s got Petoskey stones, too!
http://www.etsy.com/search?includes%5B%5D=tags&q=petoskey+stone
August 20, 2012 at 11:52 am
oh boy! Now I know where to sell mine if I even need the cash.
August 20, 2012 at 12:51 pm
I’d give you big bucks for morels.
August 20, 2012 at 1:58 pm
Won’t someone think of us city folks? The best I could do for a rock would be a chunk of fallen concrete, or maybe I could dig around in one of those big pavement planters and find a few pebbles.
Can’t you see, if I want rocks, I HAVE to have them mailed to me!??
August 20, 2012 at 7:54 pm
Ah, but if you mail leafy natural things across borders, the international trade committees have fits. It’s how we got Dutch Elm Disease here in Canada, as well as the French Disease. So, actually, these lovely sellers may be endangering the environment by helping to export whatever bacteria and microorganisms their samples host.
August 20, 2012 at 9:05 pm
I heard the French Disease was something else. Not from trees.
August 20, 2012 at 11:35 pm
Probably weren’t even natural, let alone leafy.
August 21, 2012 at 1:01 am
I didn’t realize you could get it by mail either.
August 21, 2012 at 10:30 am
“Honey, I swear, the damn French mailed it to me. That’s how I got it!”
August 22, 2012 at 7:55 pm
Only on Regretsy could my epic word order fail be turned into this much win.
August 21, 2012 at 9:16 am
Aren’t Petoskys (ies?) pretty common up by, maybe, Petosky?
August 20, 2012 at 11:37 am
I just found a rake that had been hiding in my garage. So, I’m going out in the backyard and make myself a millionaire!
August 20, 2012 at 12:11 pm
Pro tip: “U-Pick” Leaves.
August 20, 2012 at 11:38 am
Is there a market for loose cat hair? I’m rolling in the stuff, and these furry little jerks need to start earning their keep.
August 20, 2012 at 11:50 am
Hey – “furry little jerks” is the nickname we have for our corgis!
Unfortunately, their primary skill is an ability t̶o̶ ̶w̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶d̶e̶a̶d̶ to alert us whenever another dog walks by on the bike path. This skill has proved very difficult for us to monetize.
August 20, 2012 at 12:09 pm
One word: Ringtone. Start making $$$ now!
August 20, 2012 at 12:20 pm
Furry Little Jerks is my new punk band.
August 20, 2012 at 12:15 pm
I cut my Poodle’s hair/fur last night and ended up with a whole bag of it, I could have made a fortune. Plus, I have two dogs, so could be buy one get one free!
Mmy furry little jerks need to start earning their keep too for just the treats I buy them, they are getting pricey!
August 21, 2012 at 12:18 pm
I believe you can spin and knit poodle hair. I am certain you can spin and knit samoyed hair. A friend, Joan Wood, did this for her son who had two huge white samoyeds. It did look pretty good, but was a little funky when it got damp. On the other hand, he was a roadie, so he was also a little funky most of the time.
August 20, 2012 at 12:20 pm
You could spin it and make little cat-fur change purses out of it. No, really. Really.
http://www.amazon.com/Crafting-Cat-Hair-Cute-Handicrafts/dp/1594745250/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1345490401&sr=8-1&keywords=cat+fur+crafts
THEY’RE TOTES QUIRKY.
August 20, 2012 at 12:34 pm
Gah! Did anyone else have this flashback at the sight of “cat-fur change purse”?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xh9KKFJyGZE
August 20, 2012 at 5:05 pm
Nooooooooo!
*wails and covers eyes*
I get *lots* of requests for spinning cat hair. I keep trying to explain it doesn’t spin well generally, and predator hair smells when it’s wet, and when I see that the requester hasn’t listened to a word I said, I lie my socks off and say I’m allergic. Ugh.
August 20, 2012 at 11:39 pm
No one has ever asked me to spin cat hair, but I sure have made a lot of dog fur yarn over the years.
The all-time worst, though, was wolf hair. Believe it or not, humans somehow apparently bred most of the smell out of wolves when they domesticated them into dogs.
Ponder that statement next time you have a wet dog in the house!
August 21, 2012 at 12:20 pm
How about werewolves? Do they go with the dog funk or the wolf stench?
I have a science fiction con to go to next month. There could be a panel idea in that…
August 20, 2012 at 12:50 pm
You could make a necklace and model it on your
hostagepet cat. This seller took down the item, so there’s an open market.http://www.regretsy.com/2010/12/17/play-with-your-own-balls/
August 22, 2012 at 4:14 am
Your supposed to collect all of that hair and make some nice yarn with it! Nothing says cozy like itching and sneezing
August 20, 2012 at 11:41 am
I guess I’m missing out too. How much do you think I could get for a bona fide enormous pinecone that went right through the roof of our garage?
August 20, 2012 at 11:48 am
I should start charging ‘crafters’ to come onto my property… I live in a cabin in the woods with a creek, and I’m pretty sure I would get rich. BONUS: We find a lot of animal skulls.
Although I can’t be held responsible when the spirit of a possum comes back from the dead seeking vengeance because his bones had feathers and beads glue-gunned to them.
August 20, 2012 at 12:18 pm
Could have ‘Crafters Weekends’ for the city folk, make a fortune!
August 20, 2012 at 12:57 pm
Not only would I like to tear white privileged hipsters from their coffee shops and subject them to the horrors of stinging insects, thorny brambles and lack of wi-fi, but I know they would agree to it, because A. they’re totally in harmony with their mother earth and composting organic foods and B. they could collect some twigs and flowers and sell them to OTHER white privileged hipsters online.
MAN I am gonna strike it big.
August 20, 2012 at 3:47 pm
What do you mean, the lack of wi-fi? It’s the lack of LATTE they’ll be struggling with.
August 22, 2012 at 7:40 pm
I live in the Seattle area. We have stinging insects and thorny branches immediately adjacent to the wifi and lattes – wild blackberries can be picked near half the Starbucks here at this time of year.
I guess I could try to convince people to pay me to shove them into a foil-lined car trunk with the brambles and hornets…
August 20, 2012 at 1:05 pm
TOP TEN ACTIVITES AT ETSY’S SUMMER CAMP
The Etsy Summer Camp… where middle-aged suburban white women unleash the inner child that they pretty much are anyways!
10. Make boondoggles using dog hair
9. Steampunk Native American day… why go for one when you can have both at once?
8. Cupcake snack break!
7. Glue gun safety 101
6. Freeze tag… everybody gets a participation medal, and we don’t keep score! ZOMG YAY
5. Hiking to Applebee’s
4. How to upcycle your alimony checks into bulk purchases from Asian factories
3. Tye-dying Skants Day
2. Drum circle and tribal dancing
And the number one Etsy Summer Camp activity is…
1. How to combat fat, jealous losers
August 20, 2012 at 11:42 am
The craigslist guy really needs to get Etsyfied. They are never “just rocks”!
August 20, 2012 at 11:43 am
“…but then I thought, well, they are just rocks.”
Good news everybody- The Only Sane Woman lives in Burlington and doesn’t try to make money off of shit she found in her backyard after a thunderstorm.
August 20, 2012 at 11:54 am
She’s still gonna getcha on shipping though. TOSWITW’s momma didn’t raise no fool.
August 21, 2012 at 11:42 am
No if they were FRENCH rocks, that’d be a different story all together. Ooh la la. (wretch)
August 20, 2012 at 11:44 am
But… the pinecones, they are FRENCH! Oooh la la! Wah lah!
August 20, 2012 at 12:03 pm
The French ones have a certain…je ne sais quois.
August 20, 2012 at 3:49 pm
These days I’m trying to find out. I’ll keep you people posted.
August 20, 2012 at 11:44 am
$93.00
Free inspirational piece of found wood with natural shape and form.
This tiny bargain was discovered behind my office desk in July of 2012 (vintage!) and many have remarked that it looks like a bite of sausage.
Please reference illustration for all inquiries.
August 20, 2012 at 11:45 am
Distressed wood photographed on distressed wood? I’m sold.
August 20, 2012 at 11:48 am
Apparently the rocks my dog pees on everyday aren’t good enough; I need to buy them from the UK.
August 20, 2012 at 11:49 am
This is one of those Etsy vs. Regretsy games, isn’t it?
(please tell me it is…)
August 20, 2012 at 11:52 am
Organic leaves from free-range trees – $1 each! FREE DELIVERY*
Great for arts and/or crafts. Ships in time for Thanksgiving.
*buyer must live downwind.
August 20, 2012 at 11:54 am
Ooh! FRENCH pine cones! I have been searching for those! the USDA always confiscates mine at the airport.
August 20, 2012 at 11:55 am
I have some piñon cones. If anyone is interested. It helps if you have zero geographical knowledge, because theese are from New Mexico. Yes! NEW Mexico. Not that old Mexico. These are not from a standard pine tree, either. These are from a Piñon.
I also have Ponderosa cones.
convo me.
August 20, 2012 at 12:06 pm
French pine cones are trying to take jobs from American pine cones? Dios merde!
August 20, 2012 at 11:43 pm
Hey, I just realized I have SCOTCH pines!
And WHITE pines!!
Sorry folks…I’ll definitely corner this market.
August 20, 2012 at 11:56 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
August 20, 2012 at 12:04 pm
Has Etsy had a treasury of invasive species yet? I’m thinking of going to the Oregon coast and prying some “authentic Japanese wabi-sabi distressed artifacts” off the dock that the tsunami sent over. They might be full of borer worms and barnacles, though.
August 20, 2012 at 12:08 pm
I was JUST thinking how it would be awesome if some Asian Long Horn beetles came along for the ride.
August 20, 2012 at 12:15 pm
It was fine when beatles came over in the British invasion but suddenly everyone freaks out about an invasion of Japanese ones? That’s racist.
August 20, 2012 at 4:25 pm
You’ve just given me the name of my next boutique:
Borer Worms and Barnacles!
August 20, 2012 at 6:15 pm
BRB, out to gather kudzu!
August 20, 2012 at 12:23 pm
Oh oh! But those are FRENCH pine cones! Surely that makes a difference? Anything French is automatically extra creamy and special. Just look, they’re even on parade!
August 20, 2012 at 3:27 pm
If they are on parade shouldn’t they be in a line. Also, if I mix the French pine cones with my U.S. ones, will the French ones surrender or just make fun of the fact that the U.S. ones are so much fatter? Just wondering.
August 20, 2012 at 12:27 pm
If I was closer to those free rocks, I’d claim every last one of them.
what? I need to finish my firepit.
August 20, 2012 at 12:44 pm
Do they all come with a certificate of authenticity from… from… uh…. Earth?
August 20, 2012 at 12:46 pm
It does save you from all that tedious bending over to pick things up.
August 20, 2012 at 1:01 pm
Whew! Nobody copied my product line. So I am still YOUR only source for:
Poison Oak Potpourri
Mushroom Medley (Russian Roulette style)
Gourmet Foxtail Salad
Wheatgrass analog for those allergic to wheat – mowed daily!
Sorry, not selling the rocks you may see. I need them to keep my chakras balanced, dudes.
August 20, 2012 at 1:21 pm
I should scoop the dirt in my backyard into little vials, and then sell them as “genuine Las Vegas souvenirs!”
Why not? People buy sand on their beach vacations.
August 20, 2012 at 10:26 pm
But the saltiness of Las Vegas soil isn’t from the ocean, like sand, but rather evaporated tears from shattered dreams.
What fun!
August 20, 2012 at 1:21 pm
Petsoky stones, they’re not big fat coral things? Whoops, I may have a gold mine in a bucket in my den. I mean I have buckets of rocks and when I do sell them I feel a little guilty because, well they are just rocks.
I guess I just don’t have the right cupcake mindset. I have to start marketing myself better!
August 20, 2012 at 1:45 pm
This just solved the funding problems for our national parks.
August 20, 2012 at 11:58 pm
Better visit your national park now, before it’s gone.
It won’t be long before all the salable resources there (e.g. twigs, leaves, bark, rocks, acorns, trees, plants, animal parts, sand, dirt) are snatched by some enterprising individuals. All that will be left is a gaping opening down to the earth’s mantle; and rather than “national parks” we’ll have “national hell holes”, with nice parking lots of course.
August 21, 2012 at 9:49 am
You postulate “national hell holes, with nice parking lots” as thought Wal-Mart stores didn’t already exist.
August 21, 2012 at 10:38 am
And I thought those were imported hell holes!
August 21, 2012 at 11:51 am
Imports fill the holes but “we” dug them.
August 20, 2012 at 2:05 pm
At first, I thought we were playing “Etsy or Regretsy?.
August 20, 2012 at 2:18 pm
Those pine cones aren’t chunky, they’re just big boned.
August 20, 2012 at 11:59 pm
queen-sized.
August 20, 2012 at 2:23 pm
They seem pretty comfortable measuring the cedar in ounces.
August 20, 2012 at 2:33 pm
$5 for a bunch of cedar branches? $9 for pinecones. Jesus I’m sitting on a veritable gold mine in my backyard. What I used to think of as a hideous mess that my husband never gets around to helping me clean up is actually a cash cow.
$24 for a tiny piece of “driftwood,” shit I’ve got whole goddamn trees laying in my yard. For the record I’ll give them to anyone who gets them the hell out of here FOR FREE! It’s like a Secret Santa, only we’re using eachother for personal gain.
August 20, 2012 at 3:26 pm
Eh, people outside of Etsy are already selling most of this shit.
I used to keep dart frogs in naturalistic habitats, and I’ve paid for driftwood, river stones, weird looking rocks, and oak and magnolia leaves other hobbyists collected from their yards. Oak trees don’t grow out here, so I couldn’t just pick them up myself. We do get the pine cones, but the local grocery store sells them during the holidays. Unfortunately, the pine cones they sell are cinnamon scented, and the smell is about enough to knock you over from 50 yards away.
Never paid for random bundles of sticks or line cones, though.
August 20, 2012 at 3:29 pm
Selling acorn caps? Are their lots of poor, homeless acorns out their that need caps to stay warm? Are acorn socks & gloves next?
August 20, 2012 at 5:19 pm
I’ve just been doing some weeding in the back garden. Do you think if I tried selling my Organic Home-Grown Weed I’d get much interest?
August 20, 2012 at 6:56 pm
I was just wondering if I could start selling the mint that wants to own my back yard. Tagging it “natural herbal weed” would definitely generate some hits, I imagine.
August 20, 2012 at 10:29 pm
This shit that looks like kale I’m growing in my backyard sells itself! But not much repeat business.
August 20, 2012 at 6:01 pm
Raw sea rocks? Don’t they know that you are never supposed to eat raw sea rocks. You could get Trichinosis. You have to cook the rocks so that the internal temperature is at least 2500K.
August 20, 2012 at 7:33 pm
You don’t want to get rockjaw.
August 20, 2012 at 9:37 pm
Jane, you igneous slut. That temp is only necessary when you heat7-layer sedimentary rock.
August 21, 2012 at 10:28 am
Hey, no need to get crusty.
August 20, 2012 at 6:12 pm
I used to do this sort of thing when I was little, like when we cut down the apple tree and I “sold” the fragrant bark to my parents for like one dollar total. I grew out of it once I realized more how an actual economy works; it would seem these people have yet to notice that the general public wants to give money for things of actual value.
August 20, 2012 at 7:35 pm
Sticks and stones may break your bones…if you’re dumb enough to pay for them.
August 21, 2012 at 10:28 am
Well, at least the garden rocks are free on craigs list, so not even eny shipping to someone local.
August 20, 2012 at 7:37 pm
Look out squirrels, those acorns are going to pay for christmas this year!
August 20, 2012 at 8:39 pm
I wonder how much I could charge for my widow maker pinecones? Those suckers weigh around 20 pounds a piece at least. One of them took out my Volvos windshield last fall (not to self: do not park under that pine tree idiot).
August 20, 2012 at 9:49 pm
I bet you could make a ton of money if you hot-glue some shit to them and market them as earth-energy empowering free range organic doorstops.
August 20, 2012 at 11:48 pm
Maybe you could sell the dirt the tree is growing in as a Viagra substitute?
August 22, 2012 at 8:05 pm
I live in Burlington, and I’m proud to call The Only Sane Person in the World my neighbor! (Well, almost– the New North End is a bit of a walk.)
If I ever feel like life is making too much sense, however, I’ll just wander through the downtown stores and be reminded that for $245, I could either buy a semester’s worth of textbooks or one small wooden statue hand-carved in Bali. Gotta love this rich hippie town.