MORE MORE MORE HOW DO YOU LIKE IT
As you may already know, we are currently in the middle of a fundraiser for one of our readers.
Misery (pictured here with me at Comic Con) is a concert photographer and illustrator, who is currently battling some difficult health issues. She is dealing with everything from Lyme Disease to brain lesions, with a couple of damaged heart valves thrown in for shits and giggles.
Did I mention the rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia?
How about the encephalopathy and Bell’s Palsy?
Or how about being hooked up to an oxygen tank and an IV pump all day? Because that sounds like a lot of fun.
There are three things that Misery needs to greatly improve her quality of life:
1. A new iPad, so she can keep her life organized when she’s at the doctor
2. A new mattress (although sleeping on an exercise mat on the kitchen floor sounds like a blast)
3. Paying off a computer loan she was forced to take out when her laptop died
To make this happen, we collected your donated handmade and vintage items, and we’ve been selling them in our WePay store since Friday.
The sale has been going really well, and in fact, we almost sold out. But we haven’t raised enough to get Misery a top of the line mattress, and I really want to make that happen.
So I put out the call for more merchandise in the Regretsy forums, and you assholes came through again! We have now added over one hundred pieces of farm fresh fuckery and it’s waiting in our store for you right now!
Here’s a sample of some of the new stuff we’ve added. Click on the thumbs for a larger image.
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Submitted by pantsmonkey
See all items for sale here
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Submitted by whiskeyish
See all items for sale here
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Submitted by yelloweecreations
See all items for sale here
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Submitted by amiracle
See all items for sale here
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Submitted by desolationallie
See all items for sale here
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Submitted by tasherajean
See all items for sale here
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Submitted by Max S. Fellwalker
See all items for sale here
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Submitted by robotsnappingturtle
See all items for sale here
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Submitted by resonanteye
See all items for sale here
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Submitted by goddessjewelry
See all items for sale here
And how about this?
Phil Evans of Impossible Bottle has created a special bottle just for us:
“It’s a sealed deck of Steampunk Bicycle Playing Cards inside a glass bottle! I call it The Repurposed Eco-conscious Upcycled Vintage Steampunk Shabby Chic Whimsical Impossible Bottle.”
Or maybe this:
CF4L golfclub covers with handmade pom-poms and Goatse style appliques!
Or maybe this:
A fantastic framed 8 x 8 Community needlepoint by Regretsy reader Caroline, featuring all your favorite characters that I can’t name!
We are really close to making a significant difference in Misery’s life, and I know we’re going to make it happen. So go check out the store, and see if there’s something for you, or someone you know. And even if you don’t want to buy anything, you can donate a few dollars directly to her fund.
Thanks for helping!
August 13, 2012 at 9:35 am
Ha, the monopoly hats are cute, and I’m glad the listing specifies that “your item will not be pixelated.” I was concerned.
August 13, 2012 at 3:02 pm
I would love a vinyl ‘Govern Yourself Accordingly’ bumper sticker. HINT HINT.
Anyone know how to turn a bookmark into a bumper sticker? I’m all ears.
August 14, 2012 at 6:17 pm
Clear packing tape. BAM!
August 13, 2012 at 9:40 am
I offered a digital file of a poster I made called “April’s Army- we’re here to help, fuckers.” and it sold quick. But I wanted to offer as many as people would buy. Since I don’t really know how all of this works, I’d like to offer the file to anyone who donates $5 on the WePay site, honor system style. Just email me at: gturn88@hotmail.com, and I’ll email it to you.
August 13, 2012 at 9:41 am
I’ll just list it as “infinite” on WePay.
August 13, 2012 at 9:41 am
Oh, ok. Thanks! I didn’t know if that was possible or not.
August 13, 2012 at 4:47 pm
That’s just really awesome of you. Way to go, fucker.
August 13, 2012 at 9:42 am
<3 Hellephant crochet patterns score!
August 13, 2012 at 9:44 am
I clicked on the Impossible Bottle link to go to his store and got an error. Can you please fix the link (or my computer ‘-))
August 13, 2012 at 10:13 am
Click here to see it
August 13, 2012 at 9:44 am
I have one of those vintage owl candles at home. I can attest to its magical properties. BUY IT OR REAP THE CONSEQUENCES!!
August 13, 2012 at 9:49 am
Buy boxer shorts, you will help Ashley.
August 13, 2012 at 9:50 am
Will there be another zombie hunter bag up? Please please please please please! That was bloody brilliant.
August 13, 2012 at 9:50 am
I would like to donate some items but I do not know how to go about it.
August 13, 2012 at 9:53 am
I cannot FUCKING believe that I actually purchased something featured on Regretsy. See my Ford Taurus hubcap piece o’ crap thermometer and weep, bitches! I was meant to have it, too, seeing as I live in Witch’s Tit, Minnesota, where nearly every degree marker will see some action. My neighbors just pulled up a bunch of my hosta to pour footings for a hillbilly fence and have started parking their ATV six feet from my bedroom window, so you KNOW which side of the house I’m hanging that sucker on. Prepare for a small puddle of enthusiasm by the door when the package arrives. Best Monday EVER.
August 13, 2012 at 12:49 pm
It makes me happy it’s going to such a good home!
August 13, 2012 at 1:01 pm
Yep, I’m thrilled. I suspect my children will shoot each other meaningful glances over the dinner table and view this as a first step on the slippery slope to humiliating eccentricity, but I’m embracing it.
August 13, 2012 at 5:12 pm
Regretsy: proudly helping you to embarrass the hell out of your teenagers since 2000!
August 13, 2012 at 10:01 am
Oh, Hell. Just when I thought it was safe to spend money on lunch, more neat stuff shows up!
August 13, 2012 at 10:01 am
My dumb ass has to get on the forum so I can see the calls for donations. I’d love to donate!
August 13, 2012 at 4:50 pm
Same here. It’s just really hard, because Regretsy is blocked at work. Something to do with it being classified as an “adult site”. Apparently, the corporate IT wonks don’t know the difference between porn and fuckery.
August 13, 2012 at 10:06 am
Hey Bronc, awhile ago I sent you some GOT stickers. I’d totally be willing to donate some more to the cause. Let me know how to do that?
August 13, 2012 at 10:12 am
That damn song is going to be in my head all day now. But it’s for a great cause. Off to the shop!
August 13, 2012 at 10:14 am
YAY! This time I found some cool stuff that wasn’t sold out! Thanks to all who are making amazing shit and selling it here! Now to just figure out where to put this stuff!
Also, Misery, I hope all of this new stuff sells for you too – you deserve a good mattress and some comfort!
FJL HUGS!
August 13, 2012 at 10:30 am
Fucking fuck! This is what happens when you go out for fucking lunch. I need that Community needlepoint. NEED IT.
Or maybe one of Abed and Hilda with Hilda saying “I love Abed”
August 13, 2012 at 10:31 am
I would like to donate something, how does this work?
August 13, 2012 at 10:32 am
Thank you so much to whomever purchased my steampunk Owl Necklace “Lanna”! I guess I just happened to join regretsy at the right time because the donation was the first thing I have ever done on the site.
Yesterday I was a regretsy virgin, and today I’m a regretsy demented deviant like the rest of you. Thanks a lot, bitches!
August 13, 2012 at 10:58 am
Congratulations! But, if you’d like to feel like a virgin again, may I suggest… http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/10/18-again-ad-from-india-vaginal-rejuvenation-tightening-virgins_n_1765878.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&ir=Women&src=sp&comm_ref=false#sb=1631357,b=facebook
It’s horrifying, I know…and welcome!
August 13, 2012 at 12:51 pm
Bajingobotox?
August 13, 2012 at 10:44 am
I thought the golf club covers were day-of-the-week cock socks. Perfect for the perpetual drunk who wears nothing else and thinks weeks last for four days!
August 13, 2012 at 12:56 pm
Cotton False 4skin Loungewear
August 14, 2012 at 3:51 pm
I bought those. Fuckery on the Golf Course coming up (even more than usual…)
August 13, 2012 at 10:52 am
You can use multipurpose!
August 13, 2012 at 11:31 am
I’m strongly considering the club covers, as I’ve been wanting some new ones for my clubs. I do need some sort of cover story for them, so if you guys could help me figure out what ELSE the letters C, F, 4, and L could designate, in the context of golf clubs, I’d really appreciate it. Not to add to the problem, but I don’t have a #4 club, neither Wood nor Iron.
August 13, 2012 at 12:48 pm
“Clobberer”
“Finesser”
“4th Stroker” (almost always the sand wedge?)
“Lofter”
August 13, 2012 at 12:07 pm
I wish I’d finished my fuckery alphabet quilt to donate to the cause. Not that I’d even know how to sell it since WePay doesn’t allow us Limeys yet xD
August 13, 2012 at 12:19 pm
Seibee, you don’t have to have a shop! You can just post the info into a thread in the forums, next time.
My “Whimsicle Fuckery/CF4L” quilt you made is so awesome, I can’t wait to see your latest
https://www.etsy.com/transaction/59131649
August 13, 2012 at 1:51 pm
Can you get to the WePay forums from the store page? I’m old, I have trouble figuring these things out, lol.
August 13, 2012 at 2:00 pm
It’s not the WePay forums, it’s the Regretsy forum.
Forums.Regretsy.com
August 13, 2012 at 2:39 pm
Oh, duh. More reading, less vodka, lol.
(right. That’ll happen)
August 13, 2012 at 12:36 pm
Just bought the Monopoly Top Hats! They are adorable! It was a case of right time, right price, right cause. Now, what to do with the cute little pieces of nonsense…
August 13, 2012 at 1:24 pm
I don’t do the Regretsy Forums but I want to donate something. HOW?
August 13, 2012 at 1:30 pm
Culture Corner here:
“More More More” was a hit song for adult film star Andrea True. In fact, it was one of the most popular disco songs ever.
I’d just like to quote the lyrics here:
But if you want to know
How I really feel
Just get the cameras rolling
Get the action going
More, more, more
How do you like it, how do you like our love
August 13, 2012 at 2:07 pm
Disco. Really? That trumps the Billy Idol song that is STILL stuck in my head.
August 13, 2012 at 1:57 pm
I was finally able to donate to an April’s Army! I don’t have very much to give, but I moved my budget around to find a way to spare. Misery deserves it – I can brown bag lunch for a few days if I can help make her life better. I’m so thrilled – and this is my first ever Etsy/Regretsy purchase!
This is also my first-ever time being brave enough to come out of the shadows and post a comment. Hi there, fellow FJLs!
August 13, 2012 at 2:06 pm
I did not realize until this moment that I needed, really needed a plush Ewok and a print of an otter in a tutu. Or the Phoenix from the otter in a tutu lady’s website tattoo’d on my ass-end, in honor of my pedo bear boyfriend/business partner from hell….
August 14, 2012 at 6:47 am
If you sew at all (really, these are super beginner friendly) you can make your own with the FREE PATTERN: http://wildolive.blogspot.com/2012/05/may-4th-be-with-you.html
The woman who made the pattern was happy to hear I’d made some for the charity sale (and I’ll be making more for future sales, if you prefer to buy one over making your own).
August 13, 2012 at 2:08 pm
I would love to donate some items from my etsy shop to help out. I also have fibromyalgia and I know that trying to sleep without memory foam or something extremely soft redefines the meaning of torture. Let me know how I can donate items. Thanks.
August 13, 2012 at 4:06 pm
Me too – poor thing. Just when I start to feel sorry for myself, I read about these people that REALLY need help and tell myself to stop whining, lol.
August 13, 2012 at 2:48 pm
I’m so glad my book finally ended up on there! Whoever bought that is getting TONS of random swag stuffed in it.
August 13, 2012 at 4:39 pm
Can’t even express how much I appreciate this site! It adds a bit of levity to a very dull marketing day, filled with banal shit.
I’m off to see what I can do help!
August 13, 2012 at 6:18 pm
Getting soft in my old age – when I read that people had stepped up with even more stuff for the fundraiser, I got misty! Thanks so much, people!
August 13, 2012 at 6:48 pm
Ok this is awesome! I have no idea how to volunteer a great donated product, I have tea company, and was sued by an assholery $180 million a year company for trademark infringement (which is BS according to my lawyer, but oh well). I had to rebrand all of my new packaging, and can’t legally sell the old style. I’d be happy to donate, just let me know how
August 13, 2012 at 6:52 pm
This would be my little way of “sticking it to the MAN”, which would also bring me great pleasure
August 13, 2012 at 6:52 pm
/pricks up ears
Tea?
August 13, 2012 at 8:06 pm
Yes all organic rooibos blends, signed, sealed, and delivered. I am just finishing the rebranding of the stuff I can “legally sell” (every time I look at their cease and desist- I feel like vomiting).
Not that I am bitter or anything….
I have been donating my already labeled “illicit stuff” (as if I am selling drugs or something)to local school auctions, etc. But this hits a much wider audience, heck I am happy to pay for shipping if
a) the proceeds go somewhere worthwhile
b) I don’t have to look at the continued reminder of 2 years of my life gone poof
It’s a win-win
August 14, 2012 at 12:29 am
Does anyone know how to submit items from their etsy shop? I tried googling it, nada ..
August 14, 2012 at 7:55 am
If you want to donate items for the next sale–join the forums! Everything about donating/helping out is posted over there.
August 14, 2012 at 11:45 am
I wish I had money to donate to April’s Army for every cause. Good on ya Miss Killer. I hope you raise enough money for this lovely lass. She deserves it.
August 14, 2012 at 7:29 pm
The bottle seems full of mystery. Hope enough money could be raised.
August 15, 2012 at 6:56 pm
If you are still looking for donated items, I will be more than happy to donate. Just email me kawaiibuddies@gmail.com and let me know if I can help.
August 15, 2012 at 7:04 pm
Dang, I really wanted that Community needlepoint.