The Miracle Bajingo Shoehorn
This post first appeared on Regretsy in October of 2011
“Many women have even gone to extreme lengths to rectify the camel toe problem, resorting to expensive and risky surgery.”
“Now thanks to the Smooth Groove camel toe remedy, all women can get on with their lives without having to worry about how they look.”
“After all, being a woman is hard enough and having a Smooth Groove in your underwear drawer will make it just that little bit easier!”
Well thank God, is all I can say. Thank God someone is looking out for women in a positive, empowering, Occupy My Walls kind of way. Because being a woman is some seriously tough shit.
There’s the threat of sexual violence, the fashion industry imposing an impossible standard of beauty, fighting for equal compensation and opportunity in the workplace and trying to keep your giant, sloppy vagina from unravelling in your pants like a loose bragioli.
Fortunately for us gals, there’s the Miracle Polymer Clam Smoothie™. Now you can shove a $30 piece of plastic in your thong, stand up in front of your male counterparts and make that important presentation, without worrying that everyone is gawking at that engorged, rubbery poon of yours.
YOUR COOTER IS TOO BIG TO FAIL
Get your own Miracle Mound Snapper Spackle™ here