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I MARRIED A PLATYPUS

79 comments on I MARRIED A PLATYPUS

  1. Burn The Internet
    August 9, 2012 at 9:56 am

    The title led me to believe this would be either a really interesting porn or tabloid story.

    Damn.

    Thumb up Thumb down +68

    • Stretch65
      August 10, 2012 at 4:58 pm

      I was expecting Perry aka Agent P but to know avail
      but then again a platypus doesnt do much

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

  2. manybellsdown
    August 9, 2012 at 9:57 am

    Custom painting = the worst looking photoshop filter I could find.

    Thumb up Thumb down +151

    • lvixen
      August 9, 2012 at 10:00 am

      I was thinking a similar thing until I looked at the “wall” behind them. Apparently it was either done by hand or there is a photoshop filter that removes perspective too.

      Thumb up Thumb down +70

      • Marie
        August 9, 2012 at 11:06 am

        Or just put paper up to the monitor and traced the original….which I do sometimes when I wish I could draw.

        Thumb up Thumb down +30

        • merrid
          August 13, 2012 at 3:35 pm

          If they’d traced it they would have a done a better job!

          Thumb up Thumb down 0

  3. Immamoonkin
    August 9, 2012 at 9:58 am

    Thumb up Thumb down +245

  4. argusrun
    August 9, 2012 at 10:00 am

    It looks like he’s marrying himself in a wig. The photo itself is freaking me out way more than the crude drawing.

    I can’t stop seeing it. Are they twins separated at birth? Cloning gone awry? Alternate timeline wedding? Doctor Who episode? Jerry Springer Episode?

    Thumb up Thumb down +124

    • Burn The Internet
      August 9, 2012 at 10:08 am

      Oh…oh fuck you. Now I see it too. Fffffuck.

      Thumb up Thumb down +22

    • 6eisha
      August 9, 2012 at 10:30 am

      I vote alternate timeline wedding.

      …Oh wait, it wasn’t a poll?

      Thumb up Thumb down +13

    • 6eisha
      August 9, 2012 at 10:36 am

      Also, there’s something going on, she has another listing for custom drawing and the couple there share the same peculiar chin.

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

  5. Moe Ron
    August 9, 2012 at 10:01 am

    She made a cute couple look like Barbra Streisand got engaged to Nick Lachey.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  6. dixieweaver
    August 9, 2012 at 10:05 am

    Etsy needs to start posting a “how delusional is this person?” poll or something.

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

    • Mugsy Doodle
      August 9, 2012 at 10:07 am

      I don’t think they have the bandwidth.

      Thumb up Thumb down +64

  7. LeeLooDallas
    August 9, 2012 at 10:06 am

    It’s a shame they both caught leprosy like that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +37

    • Getoffmylawn
      August 9, 2012 at 10:12 am

      Two families are becoming one today, so please do not pick a side, pick a skin disease.

      Thumb up Thumb down +20

      • LeeLooDallas
        August 9, 2012 at 10:17 am

        No don’t, the doctor says not to pick at it.

        Thumb up Thumb down +57

      • SciFiMagpie
        August 11, 2012 at 3:20 pm

        I’d say that one family is becoming even smaller. Those poor children, with that hereditary duck-face and poor camera angle syndrome…

        Thumb up Thumb down +3

  8. chetchez1
    August 9, 2012 at 10:10 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -4

  9. thecreightonberyl
    August 9, 2012 at 10:12 am

    I would have said they were a pair of Spoonbills.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

    • Getoffmylawn
      August 9, 2012 at 10:14 am

      Actually they are dodos for having this done to their picture.

      Thumb up Thumb down +11

      • Turtles All the Way Down
        August 9, 2012 at 2:15 pm

        Dodos knew better to go extinct before Etsy’s very existence.

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

  10. vicogin
    August 9, 2012 at 10:14 am

    Maybe a more appropriate title would have been
    We both married platypi

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  11. Sister Friday
    August 9, 2012 at 10:14 am

    This, yeah, I LOVE it, I wonder if they’d do a whole family portrait… I just need to see my entire family immortalized as platypi. SPECTACULAR.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  12. Getoffmylawn
    August 9, 2012 at 10:18 am

    OH! I GET IT! This is one of those magnetic pictures where you draw their noses with little metal filings! What a totes adorable idea for a save the date card!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

  13. Platypus Symphony
    August 9, 2012 at 10:19 am

    I’m so sorry… I don’t want to be this guy… The plural of platypus is Platypodes. It’s Greek not Latin.

    So sorry.

    Thumb up Thumb down +55

    • landcfan
      August 9, 2012 at 10:26 am

      According to dictionary.com, it’s either platypuses or platypi. Autocorrect seems to like platypuses. Says it went from Greek to Neo-Latin. I think there’s a similar thing with octopus not being octopi, but octopi has just become accepted. Ah, just looked it up, and it’s the EXACT same thing. Greek to Neo-Latin. Endings can be -puses or -pi. I think -puses may be more correct.

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

      • Platypus Symphony
        August 9, 2012 at 10:47 am

        I’m afraid I call them octopodes too, lol.

        Thumb up Thumb down +16

      • lemon_bombs
        August 9, 2012 at 5:42 pm

        Platypussies?

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

      • merrid
        August 13, 2012 at 3:49 pm

        No, he’s right – the plural is platypodes, or would be, if “platypus” was an actual Greek word and not just an English construct borrowed from Greek. In English the plural is platypuses – platypi is for the self-consciously ironic (a.k.a. hipsters).

        Thumb up Thumb down +1

      • Bronc Drywall
        August 13, 2012 at 4:07 pm

        Still not as annoying as people who pluralize anonymous as anonymi.

        Thumb up Thumb down 0

    • Moe Ron
      August 9, 2012 at 10:38 am

      Given your name,, I think that we can give you a pass for platequitte

      Thumb up Thumb down +31

    • melagrana
      August 9, 2012 at 10:44 am

      I vote for not being that guy in favor of being the guy who knows what someone meant anyway, and would rather just have a good time drinking with everyone else at the BYOB online Regretsy party.
      *hic* (not the Latin kind).

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

  14. Anonymoose
    August 9, 2012 at 10:19 am

    Oh man, their kids are so screwed in the nose department. Also, I highly suspect their relationship is incestual.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

    • LeeLooDallas
      August 9, 2012 at 10:35 am

      Wait ’til her eggs hatch. Poor babies.

      Thumb up Thumb down +45

  15. kyso42
    August 9, 2012 at 10:20 am

    As a large-nosed person myself, I half blame them for agreeing to be photographed from that angle. I can’t explain where the perspective went but the noses may have been left blank out of politeness, or fear. If you suck at drawing portraits then schnozes like that are a minefield.

    Alas, like the erasered penises in a pornographic manga, the absence just emphasizes what we all know is there.

    Thumb up Thumb down +57

    • littlewidget
      August 9, 2012 at 10:29 am

      Wait, what is this ‘pornographic manga” of which you speak?

      Perhaps I am better not knowing…

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

      • kyso42
        August 9, 2012 at 10:44 am

        Anything made in Japan for salarymen to read unabashedly on the train. There are prudish laws about drawing penises and penetration so sometimes you’ll see this graphic picture of two or more people doing the most acrobatic things, and right in the middle there is a fuzzy-edged blank spot, sometimes with a girl’s hand wrapped lovingly around it.

        They say tentacle porn was developed to circumvent this rule, but that’s a lie – they were drawing sea monsters poking women long before manga was a thing, much less bizarrely specific manga censorship.

        Thumb up Thumb down +21

        • lettucego
          August 9, 2012 at 11:18 am

          Wait, you can read porn unabashedly on the train in Japan? WTH am I still doing in N. America??

          Thumb up Thumb down +14

          • kyso42
            August 9, 2012 at 5:33 pm

            Sometimes you can’t avoid it – there’s even naughty schoolgirl mini-story inserts in some ordinary mangas. If you didn’t know that, you’d just be reading along, turn the page, and bam! Eight pages of porn for no reason.

            Thumb up Thumb down +9

          • kyso42
            August 9, 2012 at 6:09 pm

            Even funnier, there’s no rule, in any store, against just standing there and reading the books and magazines without buying. So every bookstore and magazine rack is cluttered with cheap bastards browsing before and after work or school. A female foreigner drifting from aisle to aisle in a bookstore can accidentally empty out the porn section before she’s even looked at enough books to realize she’s in the porn section.

            Thumb up Thumb down +11

            • lettucego
              August 10, 2012 at 11:12 am

              That’s hilarious – the poor salarymen probably never have a good day in tourist season!

              Thumb up Thumb down 0

        • Turtles All the Way Down
          August 9, 2012 at 2:21 pm

          Tako to ama… 200 year old tentacle porn FTW!

          Thumb up Thumb down +9

  16. freckleyredhead
    August 9, 2012 at 10:27 am

    Their photographer should be fired. What an awful angle. It flatters NO ONE.

    The portrait looks like the artist go to the noses and said, “I’ll come back and do this later.” And never did.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

    • Postmenopaws ™
      August 9, 2012 at 7:44 pm

      I suspect this “portrait” shot was taken with a cell phone held in the female’s left paw.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

  17. lrv
    August 9, 2012 at 10:28 am

    I bet having only one nostril really cuts down on Kleenex expenditures.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  18. Mystik Spiral
    August 9, 2012 at 10:29 am

    Made to order? You mean, you don’t already have in stock pictures of my husband and I that you can butcher? You need to rethink this “custom” process, bubs.

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  19. Emo Ninja
    August 9, 2012 at 10:34 am

    Leaving out body parts is her thing, like the artist that drew kids with big eyes.

    In this one, she leaves out the chins, or most of them anyway.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • Emo Ninja
      August 9, 2012 at 10:37 am

      Noses are partially absent as well.

      To be fair though, I rather like her announcements. They’re a little crowded but I kind of like them.

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

    • LeeLooDallas
      August 9, 2012 at 10:37 am

      It’s like they fell in love just as an atomic bomb went off.

      Thumb up Thumb down +16

    • rushgirl2112
      August 9, 2012 at 12:05 pm

      That’s actually the Photoshopped version of the photo she used to make the painting.

      THIS is the actual painting:

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • Cockamamie Jamie
      August 9, 2012 at 1:10 pm

      Is it just me, or do they both have the same goatees? (sp?)

      Thumb up Thumb down +21

      • Valmonty
        August 9, 2012 at 5:51 pm

        It’s…not just you.

        On the bright side, these two do have noses!

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

  20. tokudama
    August 9, 2012 at 10:34 am

    Their noses are awful, but what’s really freaking me out is her lack of eyebrows

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • tokudama
      August 9, 2012 at 10:37 am

      Ok, I spoke too soon. The whole thing is freaking me out.

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

  21. DarkPChan
    August 9, 2012 at 10:51 am

    Never mind her, his forehead expand immensely. It’s like he can hammer vintage nails into barnwood with that forehead of his

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  22. PlatyPius
    August 9, 2012 at 10:52 am

    Hey,now…. There’s nothing wrong with platypi.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  23. Zippy
    August 9, 2012 at 11:04 am

    This is the wall-art equivalent of letting a relative’s crappy band play at the reception but without the excuse of saying “Ya gotta support family, it only sucked for one evening and we were all drunk anyway.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  24. tralfaz
    August 9, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    This is why wedding portrait photographers don’t take you to Kinko’s and have you put your faces on a copy machine. Thus we get the second example of Goth Girl With Giant Frizzies (Hearts) Guy With Lawn Chair Bib.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  25. Cockamamie Jamie
    August 9, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    This is the perfect wedding gift to be given by anyone who hates either one of them! Particularly ex’s!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  26. Her Etsyness
    August 9, 2012 at 5:55 pm

    Did no one else notice the painting is signed “AH”?

    This suggests that anyone who sees this terrifying thing should scream.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  27. RevW
    August 9, 2012 at 9:31 pm

    Brain has frozen at ‘love nose/knows something something something’…. HELLLPPP…

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  28. Princess Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    August 10, 2012 at 5:53 am

    I thought platypuses were supposed to be cute.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

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