5 Etsy Dildoes (MNSFW)
Did you know that Etsy is your number one resource for handmade sex toys? It’s true! There are more dildoes on Etsy than any other online marketplace. And that’s just the Forums!
Yes, almost every day across this great land of ours, crafters sit at their kitchen tables, decoupaging objects for you to stick up your blowhole. And isn’t that the way it should be? Isn’t that the way to pump up our flaccid economy? I think so.
Why jam a sterile piece of factory-made latex in your crafthole, when you can support mom-and-pop dongmakers, just trying to stretch your dollar?
Sure, you could just use your hand. But when it comes to pulling your pud, we believe it takes a village to raise your dick.
August 7, 2012 at 11:12 am
Etsy,
because your sex toys should be handmade, not your orgasms.
August 7, 2012 at 12:07 pm
August 10, 2012 at 5:32 pm
Ah, total awesomeness! I sent in the steampunk dildo, with an email saying that with all the penis and vagina themed objects on Regretsy, I was inspired to try searching for dildos and came across a large variety. I guess she found the variety interesting, too. I’m sure other people have probably sent in dildos or butt plugs before, though. But it just made my day to see my submission on here. Steampunk dildo: combining Etsyers love of steampunk and vaginas.
August 7, 2012 at 11:14 am
Come again?
August 7, 2012 at 11:18 am
And again and again and again. Unless, of course, you don’t feel safe actually cramming a homemade dildo up into your business.
August 7, 2012 at 11:26 am
Come on, you know these are likely purchased in bulk from some Chinese supplier and resold. Who ever said things had to be hand made on etsy
August 8, 2012 at 11:47 am
Actually, the guy who made the Dark Invader Dildo is a good buddy of mine, and I know for a fact that all his dildos are handmade and 100% platinum grade silicone – squeezable, sterilizable, and the best sex toy material money can buy.
All his dildos are great; I personally own a bunch of his tentacle dildos and am looking to purchase his Horn design as well. Beautifully made, top quality, for kinksters by kinksters
I’m super excited to see him featured on here (even if it’s in Regretsy’s razzing manner). Hopefully it will translate into some awesome sales for him. He’s a super nice guy and definitely deserves it.
August 7, 2012 at 11:41 am
I know someone who’d use the Dark Invader but only if it plays the Storm Trooper theme during use.
August 8, 2012 at 3:23 pm
Gives a whole new meaning to “Come to the Dark Side”.
August 8, 2012 at 9:27 pm
In this case Obi-Wan ISN’T your only hope.
August 8, 2012 at 7:15 pm
Given the craftsmanship on some of these, I’m more worried that if they were crammed up one’s business, parts would be left behind. O.O
August 7, 2012 at 12:07 pm
August 7, 2012 at 12:46 pm
I’ll be in my bunk.
August 7, 2012 at 11:14 am
What the hell would one be bragging about with the 4th one? I have never compared…no, wait, yes I have. My friends and I have compared dildoes, but only to offer advice on which one to buy to another friend. Not to be like, “nyah nyah nyah mine has the most words on it!”
August 7, 2012 at 11:22 am
Besides, everyone knows that when you settle down with a dildo, reading is the primary object.
August 7, 2012 at 3:02 pm
If I were that supple, I wouldn’t need the dildo.
August 8, 2012 at 7:16 pm
If the words are raised, perhaps. I could see a market for textured-quote dildos. Then you could literally take something insulting and shove it up someone’s ass!
Someone get on this, I need insulting gifts for Christmas.
August 7, 2012 at 3:43 pm
heh she suggests wearing it too. who’s going to wear a 8 and 3/4ths inch dildo around their neck? and yes i had to put that in inches.
I wonder half the time if these sellers understand some things are just NOT socially appropriate.
August 8, 2012 at 5:42 am
All their toys have an “integrated hole” because they’re made from mop handles.
August 7, 2012 at 11:15 am
Highly specific fuckery.
August 7, 2012 at 3:27 pm
And highly literal fuckery.
August 7, 2012 at 11:18 am
Is Newt Ginricht dick or a dildo?
Dildo, Dick has a personality
August 8, 2012 at 9:47 am
A dick has a mind of its own.
August 7, 2012 at 11:18 am
No impulse buyers? Aren’t dildos all about the impulse buy?
August 7, 2012 at 11:23 am
Might be a pulse buy, too, no?
August 7, 2012 at 11:20 am
All of these scare the hell out of me.
August 7, 2012 at 11:20 am
That first one looks like it has a siren on it. Just in case your moans aren’t loud enough.
August 7, 2012 at 11:23 am
It looks like a modified meat grinder.
Which, I guess it sort of is?
August 7, 2012 at 1:13 pm
Maybe more of a meat tenderizer?
August 7, 2012 at 7:21 pm
“Light the wick” stopped my reading it it’s tracks. “Light the wick”!?!?!?! Really? On a vibrator? I don’t think the steampunksters were that dumb.
“Light the wick”.
August 7, 2012 at 8:53 pm
But it’s authentic to the Steampunk technology they might have had during Victorian times!
Actually,if you’ve ever read any Victorian era porn, they had plenty of dildos. And none of them ran on alcohol or were steam-powered.
August 8, 2012 at 7:18 pm
I have seen real, functioning steampunk dildos. Those are here.
http://www.littledeathray.com/infernal-devices/ THAT IS STEAMPUNK.
August 7, 2012 at 11:21 am
It’s not at all unreasonable to pay almost $800 for a dildo you can’t actually use. Because everyone knows that combining open flames and your landing strip is a good idea.
August 7, 2012 at 11:48 am
I’ve always thought it would be awesome to have flames shooting out oh my hooha. Kinda like those cars with the flames coming out of the tailpipe.
August 7, 2012 at 1:06 pm
“To the Batmobile!”
August 7, 2012 at 3:05 pm
“To the Bat Cave!”
August 8, 2012 at 3:06 pm
I think it’d be kind of cool to have bats flying out of there. I mean, as long as we are talking unnatural things coming out your cooter.
August 7, 2012 at 3:00 pm
Couldn’t you just paint them on? like go-faster stripes?
August 7, 2012 at 8:55 pm
I’m foreseeing a none too happy trip to the ER for anyone who tries using that, complete with awkward explanation. “So, Ms. Smith, how did you manage to set your vagina on fire?”
August 8, 2012 at 2:23 am
“OOohhh! Your sex is on fiire!” Seriously, most people just stick to smoking after sex.
August 8, 2012 at 7:20 pm
Given that wine and various types of alcohol are sometimes drizzled over bajingos, trouser snakes, and badger holes during foreplay, this could be one explosive night. Even a poorly-placed body shot could result in the whole shrubbery going, WHOOOOSH!
Next time, on Mythbusters!
August 8, 2012 at 9:39 pm
A literal “hot date.”
August 7, 2012 at 11:23 am
Dildon’ts
August 7, 2012 at 11:32 am
Or perhaps, Dildoesn’t.
August 7, 2012 at 12:54 pm
Darth Invader finds your lack of vaginal secretions… disturbing.
August 7, 2012 at 11:27 am
The DilDolls are in the new series of Dr Who you know.
August 7, 2012 at 12:49 pm
Dr. Whoa!
September 25, 2012 at 8:28 pm
It’s the next generation of Weeping Angel…the most terrifying yet, as it has now crossbred with the Smilers!
August 7, 2012 at 11:29 am
I’m suddenly very glad I don’t have a vagina. Instead I just feel a little inadequate.
August 7, 2012 at 11:30 am
Ah ha…..you are actually a himicane
August 7, 2012 at 3:57 pm
Last time I checked, we all have assholes!
August 7, 2012 at 8:54 pm
How long ago was that?
August 7, 2012 at 10:04 pm
Are you sure you checked ALL of us?
August 8, 2012 at 3:07 pm
*Have* asshole or *are* assholes?
August 8, 2012 at 3:08 pm
Holes, dammit, holes!
August 7, 2012 at 11:30 am
According to Bing translate, “die empfangsdamen” translates to: “The reception ladies”
Can someone who ACTUALLY speaks German help me out with this?
August 7, 2012 at 11:43 am
as a german i think i can’t give you any better translation than bing – “Empfangsdamen” are the women working at a reception.
August 7, 2012 at 12:07 pm
It’s for the ladies who like receiving instead of giving?
August 7, 2012 at 1:43 pm
The mystery deepens…
August 7, 2012 at 9:30 pm
Especially after it has been treated with one of those toys. It will be very deep indeed.
August 7, 2012 at 2:19 pm
Riffbean, you mean like a hostess, a waitress, or do they hire “escorts” for receptions in Germany?
August 7, 2012 at 11:36 pm
The receptionist at a hotel.
As a German, I wouldn’t have thought of a double entendre with sexual receiving here – we don’t call that “receiving”. But who knows what bilingual puns these two Austrian ladies come up with.
August 7, 2012 at 12:44 pm
oh great – now we have German Etsy-twaddle.
just what the world needs – pretentious incomprehensible hipster-speak in other languages
August 7, 2012 at 3:06 pm
Your avatar illustrates your rant SO well!
August 7, 2012 at 10:19 pm
Caveat emptor! Cave dildem! Dildo, dildass, dil-dat; declining the toy(s), in Latin. OK, I’ll shuffle on back to the Bodleian now …
August 8, 2012 at 12:53 am
If someone offered me toys like these, I’d decline them too.
August 7, 2012 at 2:58 pm
I don’t speak German, and my coworker that does is currently training a newbie so I think I should leave the dildo links alone for the moment.
But Google translate gives “the receptionists” for that. The other German option for having put on the dildo (the one shown in the pic above) it gave as “Take care of your pussy”. So I figure that’s probably actually pretty accurate since “Take care of your Snatch” is their motto apparently.”
August 7, 2012 at 3:31 pm
She’s Austrian… maybe a regional slang meaning?
August 7, 2012 at 11:33 am
What are you implying by using the santorum color for dildoes on the pie chart?
August 7, 2012 at 11:38 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
August 7, 2012 at 11:39 am
For $800 I could buy a full size leaf blower. I don’t even have a lawn and it still seems like a better idea.
August 7, 2012 at 1:12 pm
You’d probably get more orgasms from it, too.
August 7, 2012 at 1:49 pm
And the leaf blower will probably fetch a higher resale price
August 7, 2012 at 2:19 pm
I love your way of thinking.
No, I really do.
August 7, 2012 at 11:47 am
Thanks for the disclaimer on the steam powered vibrator. Because I was totally going to use a vibrator designed by someone who calls a Stirling engine a “sterling engine.”
Internal combustion is safer and more efficient anyway. So I’ll be in my bunk. With my Wankel rotary engine buttplug.
August 7, 2012 at 11:49 am
“Wankel rotary engine buttplug” — Euphemism for an egg beater?
August 7, 2012 at 9:33 pm
I’ve got your internal combustion right here!
August 8, 2012 at 7:25 pm
Next time, on Mythbusters! Jamie and Adam take on the myth of steampunk dildos. How will the team take this one? We’re not sure yet, but we know they’ll go all the way.
Actually, that joke just ruined my childhood. I’ll be in MY bunk.
(Fun fact–Grant Imahara is actually involved in a REALLY GOOD steampunk website! http://www.clockworkcouture.com/)
August 7, 2012 at 11:48 am
I think the third one would make an awesome Easter gift from you and your partner, for that couple you never know what to give. Jesus won’t be the only one rising.
August 7, 2012 at 11:49 am
Handmade sex toys: way to take two appealing ideas and combine them into one big NOPE.
August 7, 2012 at 11:49 am
Unique???
I got that glass one from my mom last Christmas!
August 7, 2012 at 4:16 pm
Obviously she was regifting.
August 7, 2012 at 9:03 pm
No, I’ve seen glass dildos for sale online and in Adult stores. She’s likely a reseller, or selling a used one. In which case, I wouldn’t go near it till it’s been disinfected with Lysol and run under an ultra-violet light.
August 8, 2012 at 7:26 pm
I have two glass dildoes, both handmade, but I did NOT get them from Etsy. They’re very attractive–one has a dichroic core–but they’re hardly a revolutionary concept. (Well, you could rotate them, of course, but you know what I mean.)
September 25, 2012 at 8:36 pm
Ugh, Lysol… on something you plan to put near your nethers? Somehow that doesn’t sound like a good idea.
Boiling it would be a lot safer. Just sayin’. In fact, IIRC somebody told me once glass dildos are meant to be boiled to clean them? IDK. It’s not like I have one (no desire to own a dildo, and if I did, it wouldn’t be SOLID… let alone easily breakable).
August 7, 2012 at 11:49 am
I’ve always said the one thing a dildo needs is a hole so I can hang it around my neck.
August 7, 2012 at 6:00 pm
If your dildo has a hole, can you get a dildo for your dildo?
August 7, 2012 at 6:09 pm
YO DAWG I HEARD YOU LIKE DILDOS
SO WE MADE A DILDO FOR YOUR DILDO
THAT YOU CAN STICK INSIDE YOUR DILDO
August 7, 2012 at 11:53 am
The DillDolls combine three items on the chart: mustaches, tiny top hats AND sex toys. BONUS: they’re creepy as hell!
August 7, 2012 at 12:04 pm
Now I’ve got this song stuck in my head.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgfklKnOg4w
“And there’s a creepy doll,
that’s up inside of you…”
I am so, so sorry JoCo.
August 7, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Yep, that one hit the Trifecta – and it gives a whole new meaning to dying of pleasure.
August 7, 2012 at 7:26 pm
“Can’t cum…..clowns are watching me!”
August 7, 2012 at 11:57 am
I just remembered: I have the perfect song for handmade Etsy dildos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnB7T-UQ5x0
August 7, 2012 at 12:53 pm
WOW. Thats gonna be stuck in my head for the rest of the day…
August 7, 2012 at 1:21 pm
It is pretty catchy!
August 8, 2012 at 6:25 am
I was in a singing group in college that did Renaissance a capella music. I refuse to believe that all of that innuendo is accidental, even if the word “dildo” was.
Morley also wrote “Now is the month of maying” which is all about nymphs cavorting in the bushes and playing “barley-break” (an old-time version of “spin the bottle” from what I can tell)!
Lyrics here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Now_is_the_month_of_maying
Muffs and cuffs and dainty tricks, indeed!
August 7, 2012 at 12:10 pm
The good news for plain old average men is that suddenly you all look pretty damn good by comparison
August 7, 2012 at 5:47 pm
YES! There’s still hope!
August 7, 2012 at 12:28 pm
I am just really glad that there wasn’t one made out of a vintage rustic cheese grater.
August 7, 2012 at 12:30 pm
All of his butt plugs are made to be hypoallergenic with no odors or flavors.
Does ANYONE sell flavored butt plugs?
August 7, 2012 at 12:31 pm
Shhh. If you speak of it, it will….uh….come.
August 7, 2012 at 1:18 pm
NEVER go ass to mouth. Not even in a committed monogamous relationship (whatever those are).
August 7, 2012 at 1:36 pm
Thanks for the advice but the rest of the gang wants to know where the hell you were before they agreed to this.
- The Human Centipede (front end)
August 7, 2012 at 3:33 pm
Not right out of the package. You have to flavor it yourself.
August 7, 2012 at 7:01 pm
Scented…
http://www.sextoyshopping.co.uk/Scented_Butt_Plug_Set.html
Small butt plug in pink scented with grape Size: Length: 10cms Width: 1.5-2.5 cms
Medium butt plug in blue scented with blueberry Size: Length: 12 cms Width: 2.5-3.5 cms
Large butt plug in red strawberry scented Size: Length: 15.5cms. Width: 2.5-3.5 cms.
August 8, 2012 at 4:40 am
Remember the Monty Python “Albatross” sketch: Everything’s got a flavour.
August 7, 2012 at 12:41 pm
Would a Cruciform dildo attract, repel, or conflict Sexy Vampires?
August 7, 2012 at 1:24 pm
I don’t think they’d have a problem, as it’s an “inverted cross”.
August 7, 2012 at 3:34 pm
Depends on what position you’re in.
August 7, 2012 at 1:53 pm
Depends on the time of the month…
August 7, 2012 at 12:54 pm
Ooh, that cross dildo will make your head spin.
*Pea soup not included
August 7, 2012 at 12:54 pm
Cleft lip Darth Vader makes me feel sorry for Darth Vader.
August 7, 2012 at 1:24 pm
But he still can’t visit my “Dark Star”.
August 7, 2012 at 1:00 pm
For $759 I could go on a massive shopping spree at Good Vibrations. The fun times that could be had.. because all the toys would be USABLE.
August 7, 2012 at 1:34 pm
And no one who works there would sell you something with an open flame and say to you “I take no responsibility for your stupidity or carelessness.”
August 7, 2012 at 6:08 pm
For $759 that sumbitch better make me breakfast in the morning.
August 7, 2012 at 8:26 pm
It’ll already have scrambled your eggs.
August 7, 2012 at 8:57 pm
And cooked them.
August 7, 2012 at 7:28 pm
No shit – or 2 nights at the Sybaris…..here I thought $350 for a night in the pool suite was insane….
August 7, 2012 at 1:08 pm
They spelled “steamspunk” wrong.
August 7, 2012 at 1:13 pm
An eight hundred dollar pleasure machine, that fucking LIGHTS ON FIRE! YESSSS!
August 7, 2012 at 1:31 pm
I thought one of the advantages of being blasphemous and satanic was NOT having to give Xmas presents.
August 7, 2012 at 2:00 pm
Well-brought up blasphemous and satanic kids send thank-you notes until they’re 18.
August 7, 2012 at 1:34 pm
what are they gonna do w/ all the ones that dont sell?
it’s a serious question. nobody really needs more than one or two of the exact same kind &, if theyre not being made to order, that means theres a whole mess of a mess of unneeded product out there. & they cant donate em to the salvation army. & i dont think out of the closet–they would take them–is national, nevermind international. so, it seems, we gotta whole lotta untenable plastic, etc & ect, floating around out there amid the environmentally unsoundness of the planet’s waste.
August 7, 2012 at 1:50 pm
I’d love to see the reaction of the folks at Salvation Army if these were donated.
And I’ve never seen sex toys at Out of the Closet. I don’t think they would take them, because of the health risks.
August 7, 2012 at 6:36 pm
i think they’d take them if they were still packaged. in fact i’m 99% sure they would. i’ve seen comparable things in the OOtCs. then again, i havent been in one for about five years so maybe theyve changed. the SAs, on the other hand, oh heavens, i dont know how close they still stick to the philosophy w/ which they originated but i cannot even imagine what they would do.
August 7, 2012 at 1:52 pm
Gives a whole new meaning to getting crucified. A much better one.
August 7, 2012 at 7:03 pm
Instead of getting nailed to the cross, you’re getting nailed by the cross.
August 7, 2012 at 2:05 pm
“Awwww… thank you so much, I always wanted a glass dagger for Christmas”
“Ummm… that’s not a dagger…”
“WAT?!!”
August 7, 2012 at 2:46 pm
“A dildo of the mind, a false creation,
Proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain?”
August 11, 2012 at 11:39 pm
I can’t decide whether I like the Shakespeare quote or your name more.
August 7, 2012 at 2:09 pm
I know I’ve posted this before…but WTF!
August 7, 2012 at 3:31 pm
New franchise opportunity?
August 7, 2012 at 7:04 pm
It’s probably from Dildo, NL, Canada. They have a sense of humour:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dildo,_Newfoundland_and_Labrador
August 8, 2012 at 9:31 pm
I refuse to have a dildo below the rank of admiral. (No rear admirals need apply but vice admirals sound intriguing).
August 7, 2012 at 3:29 pm
Take Care of Your Snatch
with a dildo of dubious origins, that has been hanging around someone’s neck (or on a wall), that appears to be made of metal covered in chipped paint (looks like it, can’t tell from this shot).
August 7, 2012 at 4:20 pm
Even if you are making an ironically unuseable steampowered dildon’t, couldn’t you at least build it so that the open flame is pointing away from the dainty bits? (Perhaps parallel to the plane of position, so it might even look a little more functionally designed?)
August 7, 2012 at 5:50 pm
That would take planning and effort, so: Hell no.
August 7, 2012 at 6:05 pm
But then someone might actually try and use it, and in doing so set the sheets on fire, and then it’s lawsuit and paperwork…
August 7, 2012 at 4:38 pm
That Darth Vader buttplug offends me on a personal and professional level.
The person seems to know just barely enough about chemical rubbers to think that he/she is competent… but doesn’t seem to know anything about sex toys or sculpting!
August 8, 2012 at 11:58 am
He’s a buddy of mine, so I know a few things about the process.
Firstly, he does, in fact, know a bit about chemical rubbers…at least, enough to know that medical-grade platinum silicone is the highest quality, best sex toy material, which is why he doesn’t use the cheaper smells-like-a-shower-curtain materials that the majority of sex toys in your local ‘erotic boutique’ are made of. (I used to work at one, I know.)
Secondly, he doesn’t always make the original sculpture himself; I believe in this case, his ‘starter mold’ came from a woman who wanted it custom-made. She sculpted it, he made a mold from it, and ta-da, custom dildo in high-quality materials
August 8, 2012 at 12:49 pm
Yes, I am aware that in fact Platinum cure silicone is skin safe. But there’s more to a sex toy than the material that its made out of.
It should be smooth for one thing. Darth Vader looks like he has smallpox. Pores in a sex toy are a bad idea. Additionally, even the best mold maker can get tiny bubbles in their rubber unless they use a vacuum degasser when casting.
I repeat sex toys should be smooth. Your friend has barely trimmed the flashing from his cast. And what’s up with the greasy brush marks? Either they were in the original or he didn’t wash his release agent off, frankly either way its gross.
Like I said,
August 8, 2012 at 3:26 pm
I’ve actually seen that particular toy in-person, and I can tell you it’s well-made, durable, and clean – no release agent there. Plenty of sex toys aren’t smooth, too…have you never heard the phrase ‘ribbed for her pleasure’?
Basically, they’re cute novelty dildos made of good stuff by a nice guy, and if somehow that incurs your internet wrath, well…can’t do much for you, dude.
August 8, 2012 at 8:04 pm
There’s a difference between ribbed for her pleasure, and a poorly cleaned up casting.
Kudos to your friend for being a nice guy, and yes, for not casting his dildos out of urethane or something equally toxic… but his sex toys need some work.
August 7, 2012 at 4:51 pm
The pie chart disappoints. I would assume there’s a Venn Diagram in-waiting with an intersection of all those categories.
August 7, 2012 at 7:29 pm
Yeah – it’s the second listing.
August 7, 2012 at 5:04 pm
That second seller’s work is quite nice. I don’t like it enough to want to stick it all up inside my delicate bits, but they do have some nice art in their shop.
August 7, 2012 at 7:30 pm
Yeah, but I have a problem with asshats who PoSt LiKe ThIs. It’s fucking stupid. Stop it.
August 7, 2012 at 6:04 pm
That cross one makes me think I’ve figured out a way to get Mom to stop talking to me about her damn church all the time.
August 7, 2012 at 6:40 pm
But is it really better if she’s screaming about it in the middle of the night instead?
August 8, 2012 at 9:50 am
Yes because she’ll be at her OWN damn house.
August 7, 2012 at 6:13 pm
I like the Christmas gift dildo.
“O Holey Night…”
August 7, 2012 at 6:40 pm
Wait. So the only people allowed to purchase the Darth Vader dildo are those for whom it is not an impulse buy?
How many fucking people out there actually plan to purchase a Darth Vader sex toy?!
…
(Okay, I’ll give on that one.)
August 7, 2012 at 6:43 pm
Dildoes, with an E… is that the British spelling?
August 7, 2012 at 8:58 pm
It’s a phallic sex toy made from a potatoe.
August 8, 2012 at 9:23 pm
Organic for dirty hippies?
August 7, 2012 at 7:09 pm
I scanned that one as “Take care of your snatch — or DIE!” Quite disturbing.
August 7, 2012 at 7:18 pm
“Take care of your snatch” is my new motto. Maybe I can have it engraved on my urn as an after-life lesson to others.
August 7, 2012 at 7:35 pm
Is there some huge problem with people suing dildo makers over how they’ve used said dildo once they got it home??? I mean, wtf? Disclaimers on all of them about not being responsible for how people use them – uh, no shit?? I sure as hell hope not – I’m buying the toy, not your suggestions/instructions….
August 7, 2012 at 10:09 pm
A huge problem? Probably not.
But when you’re selling a device that shoots flames in the direction of the buyer’s junk, you’re sort of in new territory.
August 7, 2012 at 8:57 pm
http://forums.regretsy.com/topic.php?id=29796#post-708721
August 7, 2012 at 9:38 pm
No. The answer is no. I don’t care what the question is, the answer is still no.
August 7, 2012 at 11:08 pm
#2 is a religious ritual dildo to be used only on Dia de los Muertos.
August 8, 2012 at 7:25 am
How about homemade dildoes that HAVEN”T made it to Etsy, because, well, they’re still hiding in my workshop?
http://i1200.photobucket.com/albums/bb323/Aimee_Winslow/th_DSCN2476.jpg
Also,that cross does not look like the shorter pieces are properly joined…one tap against something hard and you’re well and truly fucked.
I take it you don’t want the CF4L goestse buttplug then, huh HK? I made it with you in mind…months ago…lol
O.o
August 8, 2012 at 8:09 am
I see what you did there.
But seriously, nothing wrong with homemade dildos if you actually know what you’re doing….and have the proper equipment.
August 8, 2012 at 9:02 am
If you have the ‘improper’ equipment, you don’t need a dildo. Oh, the impropriety!
August 8, 2012 at 9:37 am
I can’t speak to ceramics, but lets look at the proper equipment for mold-making:
-Cottle Boards
-Bicycle inner tube
-Clamps
-Metal Spatula
-Straps
-Vacuum Degasser
Also, Glassblowers get to stick their hot punti in the glory hole.
*just sayin’*
August 8, 2012 at 9:33 pm
Where is the overlap on the pie chart for the dildo with watch parts?
August 9, 2012 at 1:09 am
If you follow that link to other dildos on Etsy, the second listing is a selection of dildos for charity. Charity dildos. What is this I can’t even.
August 9, 2012 at 6:13 pm
This makes me sad. Regretsy finally features dildos and leaves out my etsy shop, Necronomicox. I would have thought my rotted zombie dick dildo would make the cut, if not my giant tentacled Cthulhu-themed one. I am so disheartened I may not even post my recently completed tentacled butt plugs
August 9, 2012 at 10:19 pm
I LOVE YOU.
August 9, 2012 at 6:18 pm
Oh, I see. All my items had expired. All fixed! Stupid etsy.
August 9, 2012 at 10:19 pm
For reals though, I bought a carved wood dildo off Etsy and it is pretty awesome. Nothing wrong with it, though I can bet that my experience is the exception rather than the rule.