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ASK KNOTT

63 comments on ASK KNOTT

  1. LeeLooDallas
    August 6, 2012 at 4:56 pm

    Don’s eyeballs are taking two different elevators.

    Thumb up Thumb down +117

    • TooManyCookbooks
      August 6, 2012 at 5:22 pm

      Side note: I am watching The Fifth Element RIGHT NOW. Your icon makes me want to watch it whenever I see you comment, and now that time is at hand.

      Thumb up Thumb down +46

      • Zippy
        August 6, 2012 at 7:45 pm

        Multi-pass using, multi-ass kicking

        Thumb up Thumb down +15

        • Stretch65
          August 7, 2012 at 4:04 am

          I might be too morbid and in need of a Etsy cupcake enema but wouldn’t this record art work with Tupac, Sam Cooke and Marvin Gaye?!

          Thumb up Thumb down +12

  2. alicet
    August 6, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    I must have this in my life.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  3. tinkerjenn
    August 6, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    I am craftarded and could have painted a better portrait!!!

    It hurts my soul

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  4. vicogin
    August 6, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    Heil Barney!

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

    • LeeLooDallas
      August 6, 2012 at 5:01 pm

      He skipped #4 and went straight to the Fife Reich.

      Thumb up Thumb down +37

      • Zippy
        August 6, 2012 at 8:01 pm

        So now it’s Don Knottzi?

        Thumb up Thumb down +21

        • vicogin
          August 6, 2012 at 8:06 pm

          You’ve got to nip it in the Bund!

          Thumb up Thumb down +9

          • marytylerwhore
            August 7, 2012 at 3:08 pm

            Thug Fife.

            Thumb up Thumb down +6

  5. Kitchen Bish
    August 6, 2012 at 4:58 pm

    Looks more like Hitler had a stroke:-p

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

    • Zippy
      August 6, 2012 at 8:10 pm

      And shaved off his mustache before “biting the bullet”.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  6. Mugsy Doodle
    August 6, 2012 at 5:00 pm

    Can I get Opie painted on a 45?

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

    • susie derkins
      August 6, 2012 at 5:39 pm

      Judging by the example provided, probably not.

      Thumb up Thumb down +14

      • susie derkins
        August 6, 2012 at 5:46 pm

        You may be able to get something that resembles Carrot Top mid-sneeze, though.

        Thumb up Thumb down +37

        • snafutti
          August 7, 2012 at 11:20 am

          Home after retina surgery (and still trying to read, screw doctor’s orders) and this made me laught so hard I saw stars. I give it a 4-stars-and-hand-me-the damn-vicodin rating. Mainly because there are just not enough thumbs.

          Thumb up Thumb down +5

        • Howard M Beers
          August 8, 2012 at 8:27 pm

          This one’s a “thinker”. It took me a few minutes to put together the mental image, but it works.

          I approve.

          Thumb up Thumb down +1

  7. Madam Morgana
    August 6, 2012 at 5:00 pm

    It looks like SJP is starring in a remake of Desperately Seeking Susan. In the new version, Susan dies of a hideous chin melanoma.

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

  8. littlestitches
    August 6, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    I see more Fred Armisen as Prince in the SNL sketch about Beyoncè’s baby http://chimovement.com/nbcs-snl-skit-of-jay-z-beyonce-feat-ll-cool-j-prince-bon-iver-nicki-minaj-taylor-swift/

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  9. Kippy Moonbeam
    August 6, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    When did Stevie Wonder take up painting?

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  10. Anasatan
    August 6, 2012 at 5:08 pm

    One eye looking at you, the other eye looking for you.

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

  11. PaganChick
    August 6, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    Let’s see.

    Crappy sketch of random old celeb: Free
    6 bottles of asst acrylic paints from Michael’s (6 x $.85): $5.10
    Cheap nylon bristle paintbrush scavenged from kid’s watercolor set: Free
    Old vinyl record of the Chipmunks Christmas from thrift store: $.25

    Craptastic “artwork” created while high on hash brownies: $130

    Yup. I’m in the wrong fucking racket.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

    • BigRed
      August 6, 2012 at 5:54 pm

      Personally, I’d rather have the Chipmunks Christmas on vinyl…

      Thumb up Thumb down +17

      • Gwill
        August 7, 2012 at 10:17 am

        You might still be able to play the B side.

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

  12. The Blue Kraken
    August 6, 2012 at 5:30 pm

    awkwaaarrrd placement WTF and some crazy eyes to go with it… seen worse, it’s at least original

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • The Blue Kraken
      August 6, 2012 at 5:38 pm

      and when I say original I mean someone actually wasted their time on this and is asking money for it. instead of say being printed in a factory(where they would of hired a designer who could draw).

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

  13. thecreightonberyl
    August 6, 2012 at 5:37 pm

    Wow. He looks more like Steve Buscemi than ever!

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  14. Holytape
    August 6, 2012 at 5:54 pm

    Wait, come to think of it, there weren’t any jews or blacks or gays in Mayberry. Barney had a gun….. Maybe the peaceful little white-bread town had a dark dark secret….

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • LeeLooDallas
      August 6, 2012 at 6:06 pm

      I’m sure there’s a record of it somewhere.

      Thumb up Thumb down +11

      • butts lol
        August 6, 2012 at 7:00 pm

        Oh, nobody talks of such things in this town.

        *icy stare*

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • Zippy
        August 6, 2012 at 7:54 pm

        It all got started in 33 but 45 saw the end.

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

        • PaganChick
          August 6, 2012 at 9:14 pm

          Not so. It got started waaaay back in ’72. Then a new group took over in ’33, and led to the later ’45 regime.

          (Of course, I’m OLD, but I had tons of 72-speed records when I was a kiddo.)

          Thumb up Thumb down +2

          • Mapleleaves
            August 6, 2012 at 9:27 pm

            Psst… you mean 78…

            Thumb up Thumb down +11

            • Mugsy Doodle
              August 7, 2012 at 9:45 am

              No, sorry my friends, it started waaaaaay back in ’16, but it was a very, very slow start.

              Thumb up Thumb down +1

  15. Matt Johnson
    August 6, 2012 at 6:02 pm

    Did they copy the hairdo from a different picture of Don Knotts? It looks like it’s a side shot of a hairdo on a front shot of Don.

    Also, they don’t show enough “pajamas” to have to identify them as such. They could’ve just left it alone for us to either identify as a shirt of pajamas.

    Those are my only complaints. Everything else in the painting is extremely accurate and flawless.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

    • Matt Johnson
      August 6, 2012 at 6:08 pm

      shirt “or” pajamas. grr.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

      • merrid
        August 6, 2012 at 9:09 pm

        First way works, too.

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • Howard M Beers
      August 9, 2012 at 7:30 am

      Looks like Floyd got a little carried away (didn’t he always!) and overcompensated when trying to even out Barney’s sideburns.

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

  16. cholozulu
    August 6, 2012 at 6:05 pm

    Finally! That mark on Aaron Neville’s face explained. Now if someone could explain his rediculous faux-vibrato voice affectation.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • cholozulu
      August 6, 2012 at 6:08 pm

      p.s. I thought Don Knotts was Cab Calloway at first glance.

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  17. Mapleleaves
    August 6, 2012 at 6:37 pm

    Andy, can I have that one bullet now, please?

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  18. curiousgirl525
    August 6, 2012 at 6:47 pm

    I am digging it and there are some other really fun ones in the same shop! You have to appreciate an artist who doesn’t take himself too seriously.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • Stretch65
      August 7, 2012 at 4:17 am

      Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

      Thumb up Thumb down -8

  19. kmeghan
    August 6, 2012 at 6:56 pm

    The Aaron Neville one make me laugh out loud and scare my cat.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  20. BluePanda
    August 6, 2012 at 8:12 pm

    Wow, SJP looks about 60 in that picture.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • Mapleleaves
      August 6, 2012 at 9:28 pm

      That’s because it’s actually Glenn Close.

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • BluePanda
        August 6, 2012 at 10:09 pm

        Nice try, but no banana.

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

      • suedonim
        August 7, 2012 at 2:22 pm

        I thought it was Bette Midler.

        Thumb up Thumb down 0

  21. nici
    August 6, 2012 at 9:51 pm

    you know what this always reminds me off here with the comments, that TV series were a man and some robots are in space and have to watch those awful movies, i love that show and i am always careful to put any liquid down :)

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  22. Trickster
    August 6, 2012 at 10:00 pm

    …with apologies to MysticAlpha.

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

    • The Blue Kraken
      August 6, 2012 at 11:16 pm

      IT’S THE DREADED BLACK SPOT…. (i think i just dated myself a little and its not quite proper placement.. feh) sorry commence the thumbs down.

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

  23. Dix
    August 7, 2012 at 5:36 am

    Why pajamas? Don Knotts pin-up?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  24. Menopausalmaniac
    August 7, 2012 at 5:42 am

    What makes a person wake up one morning and think ‘Today, I am going to paint a picture of Don Knotts in pajamas on an old 45, then sell it on etsy to earn money’?

    Or

    Someone is trying to replacate something they saw somebody in the universe had made that was mega fantastic and when they finished theirs all they could come up with was ‘Don Knotts in pajamas’.

    I would have made the pajamas a bit jazzier!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • Mugsy Doodle
      August 7, 2012 at 9:30 am

      He’s painted on a 33. If he were on a 45, that hole below his nose would be much bigger…GOATSE! OMG, SOMEONE SHOULD PAINT GOATSE ON A 45!!!

      Sorry for the caps lock. The idea came to me while my finger was on the Shift key and I lost control.

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • Zippy
        August 7, 2012 at 10:08 am

        Goatse is OK for the A-Side but what about the B-side?

        Thumb up Thumb down +3

        • Mugsy Doodle
          August 7, 2012 at 11:39 am

          So happy to find someone who even knows “A side” and “B side”!

          As for the B side…Goatse: The Inside Story!

          Thumb up Thumb down +2

          • Menopausalmaniac
            August 7, 2012 at 2:46 pm

            I would have preferred an 8 track but I didn’t want to show my age!!

            Thumb up Thumb down +1

  25. Maman Brigitte
    August 7, 2012 at 3:57 pm

    I don’t care for the Don Knotts portrait, but the Christian Bale version is awesome. It would look great on a bicycle seat!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  26. mingamonga
    August 7, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    I feel so oddly proud that I was able to predict every one of those.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  27. Postmenopaws ™
    August 8, 2012 at 5:34 am

    “I am a painter of fine art.” So says his profile bio thing.

    ====

    fine art

    Something requiring highly developed techniques and skills, as in He’s turned lying into a fine art , or The contractor excels in the fine art of demolition . This term alludes to the fine arts , such as music, painting, and sculpture, which require both skill and talent. It is now often used to describe anything that takes skill to do. [First half of 1800s]

    The American Heritage® Dictionary of Idioms by Christine Ammer. Copyright © 1997. Published by Houghton Mifflin.

    ===

    Nope. He lied.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  28. Howard M Beers
    August 8, 2012 at 8:29 pm

    So is that Gabe Kaplan with the misplaced, oversized tear duct?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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