From the Mailbag
From: Beeby
Subject: Cuban gynecologist used car salesman commercial
Date: Friday, August 3, 2012 5:03 AM
To: Helen@Regretsy.com
This is 20 minutes from my house.
I’m begging you to come to North Carolina. I swear to God, it’s worth the trip.
August 3, 2012 at 9:31 am
I love this guy! I’d let him dig around in my trunk any time.
August 3, 2012 at 10:39 am
does every car sale come with a free pap smear?
August 3, 2012 at 11:29 am
LOVE IT! This guy is great
August 3, 2012 at 12:06 pm
Okay Rev., you have started being the first to post again, are you letting the OCD take over!! Back away from the screen!
August 3, 2012 at 4:14 pm
I work in mysterious ways. There is no understanding my patterns.
August 3, 2012 at 4:50 pm
Other FJL’s must have thought I offended you, you know I was only glad to see you back in the swing of things after all that unpacking!
People are so sensitive!
August 4, 2012 at 10:06 am
It takes a lot more than this to offend me.
August 4, 2012 at 2:43 am
From Rhett and Link, Commercial Kings- their goal is to make local ads for businesses in the most awesome way possible.
August 3, 2012 at 9:33 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
August 3, 2012 at 9:39 am
You just watched Da best Fucking car commercial EVER!
August 3, 2012 at 9:49 am
it’s High Point, NC. Were you expecting something other than this spectacular spectacle?
August 3, 2012 at 11:27 am
My inlaws live in HP. I expect uncomfortable silence at dinner and to leave feeling like it’s a commonly held belief that my husband made poor life choices.
August 4, 2012 at 10:39 am
My family has lived in HP for years. How did I not know about this? I need to go to this place!
August 3, 2012 at 9:56 am
You just watched your mind being blown by awesome. It’s okay. Let it sink in. The shock will wear off soon enough. And then…you’ll understand how beautiful it all was.
August 3, 2012 at 10:45 am
I guess you ran out of booze. Good thing it’s the first week of the month – your Regretsy reality check *should* be in the mail if it’s not been directly deposited into you bank account by now.
Just beware of the back-to-school sales. Spend wisely else the hype will cause you to wanna buy just about anything you don’t need/want.
August 4, 2012 at 4:54 pm
You just watched something that made me forgive North Carolina for a lot of things.
August 5, 2012 at 8:40 pm
I don’t know if I’d go so far as to forgive, but now I can still be friends with NC even while knowing it can be a major asshole sometimes.
No state that can give this glorious man both a home and a business can be too far gone to save.
August 3, 2012 at 9:33 am
Marketing schemes just write themself for this guy:
Mothers Day Special! Huge discounts on used mini-vans, free gyno exam while we process the sale!
August 3, 2012 at 10:34 am
This guy gives Vern Fonk some serious competition. SHAPOOPY.
I love this little guy. Hit me up when he offers a two for one deal on gyno
August 3, 2012 at 5:36 pm
Jesus Herman Christ now The Music Man is stuck in my head…
August 3, 2012 at 9:34 am
Bahahaha. I love this so hard.
August 3, 2012 at 9:34 am
I need a good Lube.
August 3, 2012 at 9:57 am
I’d pay keen attention to what kind of lube he grabs. You don’t want to end up covered in 10W40.
…or do you?
August 3, 2012 at 11:01 am
I know there is a “let me look under the hood and see where the problem is” joke somewhere here
August 3, 2012 at 12:36 pm
That was earlier. Down below.
August 3, 2012 at 9:35 am
High Point, I loathe thee. But I think this is where my brother gets his truck inspected, haha!
August 3, 2012 at 9:36 am
Please come to NC!!!!!
I could pave you a path to Raleigh or Charlotte with little golden octopi so you don’t get lost…
we are a screwy state lately, not many good things happen here.
August 3, 2012 at 9:38 am
*handmade, unique, steampunk octopi
August 3, 2012 at 11:35 am
insert Chinese re-seller occopi above
We’re not etsy here Mr. Wolfpackfan, we’ve all seen these orgininal unique steampunk octopi before
August 3, 2012 at 4:46 pm
Hey, isn’t the first rule of Etsy Club don’t call out members of Etsy Club for reseller mass produced Chinese junk?
August 3, 2012 at 9:37 am
It’s amazing what they’re combining these days. I saw that my grocery offers physicals now, “Billy I’m going to go grab the milk, don’t forget to cough”
August 3, 2012 at 9:37 am
The disabled guy was visiting his family in North Carolina earlier this year and was in an accident that totaled his truck. He got a new(er) truck with the insurance settlement.
I just made him watch this and he said, “I would not buy a car from that man.”
I said, “He’s also a gynecologist.”
Disabled guy said, “That’s your problem, not mine!”
August 3, 2012 at 9:46 am
He wouldn’t want to liberate a truck???
August 3, 2012 at 9:51 am
Or Freedomize a Ford?
August 3, 2012 at 10:47 am
Or star a rebolushon? in dis wes sai?
August 3, 2012 at 10:12 am
That’s weird, because I watched it and said, “I don’t even really need a new car, but I would DEFINITELY buy one from this man.”
August 3, 2012 at 10:41 am
Or two cars, as I thought to myself. I would buy two cars from this man
August 3, 2012 at 11:06 am
He just has one car, one motobike and the impala was eaten by the guard dog who gots stolen – I think…
August 3, 2012 at 9:37 am
Oh my lord, he’s just PRECIOUS!
“What do we have? We have CAR!”
I think if I lived there, I’d have a drinking game where I’d get shnockered every time I saw this on TV.
August 3, 2012 at 9:42 am
He used to have a guard dog, but it got stolen. It not there.
August 3, 2012 at 10:42 am
now if that dog had lojack, it wouldn’t have been freedomized….
August 4, 2012 at 11:28 am
They do make lojack for dogs, kinda: http://www.zoombak.com/
August 3, 2012 at 10:10 am
Don’t forget MOTORBIKE! They have that too.
August 3, 2012 at 10:51 am
Around these parts, you’d have to play that drinking game with moonshine. #TRUESTORY
August 3, 2012 at 11:10 am
Hell, why not? I’m apparently going blind anyway, so..
August 3, 2012 at 9:39 am
Brings an interesting new layer to the term “sales and service”.
August 3, 2012 at 9:41 am
Finally!!! I can get a pap smear and pick up a used Corolla in a single visit! Life is good again!
August 3, 2012 at 9:43 am
I really like the word “Freedomize”. It sounds kind of kinky.
August 3, 2012 at 9:50 am
Just make sure you Freedomize yourself accordingly.
August 3, 2012 at 9:52 am
I’m gonna freedomize you all night, baby…well, most of the night- then I need my rest for that job interview tomorrow.
August 3, 2012 at 2:24 pm
Really, I think we’ll do about a good 20 minutes of freedomizing, and then I’m going to roll over and go the fuck to sleep.
August 3, 2012 at 11:09 am
The NC for the best in Cuban mariachi music
August 3, 2012 at 9:46 am
Watching that I kinda thought how cool would it be to have a trumpeter follow you around? …and then I remembered that time in Amsterdam…
August 3, 2012 at 11:25 am
Wait, you actually remember something that happened in Amsterdam? Get Catbird more recreationals, STAT!
August 3, 2012 at 9:48 am
Genius!
Do you think if he returned to Cuba to become a gynaecologist again he’d make a similar style ad? He could shout “We have UTERUS! We have Cervix!” while regailing his patients about how he also sells cars during their smears?
August 3, 2012 at 9:48 am
That horn player is fucking amazing. He really nails those two notes.
August 3, 2012 at 9:53 am
I wonder- is he present during gynecological exams, too? It might lighten the mood.
August 3, 2012 at 10:12 am
Or cover it up when you fart!
August 3, 2012 at 10:17 am
Do women fart often during gyno exams? I was unaware of this hilarious fact.
August 3, 2012 at 10:25 am
Oh no… I gave away the secret… now I have to die!
August 3, 2012 at 10:43 am
I never have. It’s hard enough to relax with a strangers hand in your business to let a specculum get in there much less let any kind of air out.
August 3, 2012 at 11:17 am
Uh oh – I think the horn IS the speculum. Different kind of blow job.
August 3, 2012 at 10:49 am
she’s messing with you. or generalizing to lessen her shame?
August 3, 2012 at 11:12 am
If he also sold pupsas it would be the ultimate trifecta
August 3, 2012 at 10:46 am
I’d pay extra for the horn player to play a sad note during my papsmear.
August 3, 2012 at 12:38 pm
He would need a tuba for the sad note.
August 3, 2012 at 1:15 pm
I prefer the sad trombone note slide during mine
August 3, 2012 at 9:48 am
I thought nobody could top Ralph Williams and Cal Worthington. I was wrong.
August 3, 2012 at 10:08 am
Did Cal Worthington used to be outrageous? He finally made it to Alaska, and here, he’s just old. There was a news item a year or so ago about his wedding to a new, sexy trophy wife. But “new” and “sexy” are relative, because she’s in her fifties.
You want an outrageous salesman working out of Alaska, there’s nobody better than Ted Sadtler of Mattress Ranch. He’s got everything – leather + Spongebob tie, terrible theme song, gaudy buildings…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eldbPUqhFZk
August 3, 2012 at 10:36 am
Cal and his dog Spot were always good for a chuckle.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOsLdT4slsk
August 3, 2012 at 11:17 am
Cal would “stand on his head til his ears would turn red” to sell you a car, Worthington Ford in Long Beach. Now it’s Worthington Ford in Fairbanks?
August 3, 2012 at 2:37 pm
Go see Cal! Go see Cal! Go see Cal!
I live so close to “Worthington Ford in Long Beach” it’s ridiculous. I see Cal Worthington’s face more than I see my boyfriend’s.
August 3, 2012 at 9:49 am
The next Chuck Testa?
August 3, 2012 at 9:52 am
Goddamn it – I’ve been looking for AGES for a Liberated Impala!
August 3, 2012 at 9:54 am
Any old dude with terrible English willing to poke fun at himself to make an epic car commercial gets my business. In every possible way.
Yeah. I said it.
I’d give him the business.
Yeah.
August 3, 2012 at 10:03 am
You’d let him look under your hood?
August 3, 2012 at 12:28 pm
I’d roll in that garage and take a car lift over stirrups and that awful plastic speculum any day! At least you know there should be adequate lube. Course, I bet he won’t check my rim.
August 3, 2012 at 12:51 pm
Don’t worry. We’ll find someone to check your rim.
August 3, 2012 at 9:58 am
This ad was made by Rhett and Link, who’ve made many other worthy spots…
http://www.youtube.com/user/RhettandLink?feature=watch
August 3, 2012 at 11:47 am
yeah, i kind of wish Helen had included the link to their official upload. it’s not like the guy came up with the commercial solely on his own.
he does get props for agreeing to it and doing it tho.
August 5, 2012 at 8:48 pm
I’m still bitter that their Rub Some Bacon On It video doesn’t actually star the robot in the thumbnail.
August 3, 2012 at 9:59 am
He needs a mosaic-set-of-boobs-necklace draped on his bare chest.
August 3, 2012 at 12:26 pm
And a facinator in the shape of Cuba
August 3, 2012 at 10:00 am
I live a few mins from High Point and I have to say this is the best use car ad I have seen for this area. Some are just pain stupid but this one is all kinds of awesome. Talk about a mix of cultures. Love it.
August 3, 2012 at 10:01 am
errr Plain even….*shoots typist*
August 3, 2012 at 12:55 pm
Works either way, actually.
Pain stupid is real.
August 3, 2012 at 10:49 am
Have you seen the Dukes of Hazzard rip-off ad? That one deserves some kind of medal for terribadness.
August 3, 2012 at 10:01 am
Some one beat me the Rhett and Link identification but here’s a link to their furniture store commercial, which is my favorite.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnOyMSEWNTs
August 3, 2012 at 10:02 am
His accent sounds like my dad’s.
August 3, 2012 at 10:53 am
does yr dad say Ing instead of I’m? I’m fascinated by that accent quirk.
August 3, 2012 at 6:10 pm
No, he doesn’t say that, but when he says Tuesday, it sounds like “Choose-day.”
August 3, 2012 at 10:04 am
That was fucking fantastic!
August 3, 2012 at 10:08 am
I’m totally wondering what kind of coupons he sends out… Free pap smear with every test drive? Oil/IUD change packages?
August 3, 2012 at 10:14 am
I LIVE IN HIGH POINT!!! Who wants to come for a visit?? This made my day!
August 3, 2012 at 10:50 am
Let’s do lunch! There are several of us in the Triad.
August 3, 2012 at 11:16 am
Seriously, the Carolinas have such a high concentration of awesome FJLs it’s bizarre.
August 3, 2012 at 10:15 am
Awww, I just want to hug him! I’d much rather watch this commercial during every tv break than listening to Billy Fuccillo scream over some poor young eye candy in his commercials here in NY.
August 5, 2012 at 9:25 pm
I’d much rather see him than the two old farts in Asheville, NC who think their (grand?)kids will sell cars on cuteness, alone (pro tip: they won’t) or the bizarre love triangle that remains unspoken between Hunter Auto Sales, DeBruher and the 50-year-old blonde “actress” who appears to have left the former for the latter.
Still, I guess they’re all better than the carpet sales asshole who uses 90% of his commercials’ run time to push his religious agenda instead of, you know, selling carpet.
August 3, 2012 at 10:16 am
I wonder if he uses automotive euphemisms during gynecological exams…like if he was examining an older woman would he be like, “this is very well-maintained for a high mileage vagina.”?
August 3, 2012 at 11:02 am
“Your exhaust system needs to be flushed.”
August 3, 2012 at 12:41 pm
“There appears to be dry rot here. If you don’t run it every day, that’ll happen.”
August 3, 2012 at 10:20 am
Hooray for this guy!!! He was a doctor in Cuba, left there for freedom. He’s here…does he complain, NO! Is he on Welfare, NO!
He sells used cars and doesn’t complain about him not being a doctor anymore! He pokes fun at himself and keeps on going!
This guy is my F****** Hero!!! Yes, If I were in NC, I’d go check out his cars! I’d even bring him a new guard dog!
August 3, 2012 at 10:22 am
He truly is awesome.
August 3, 2012 at 10:56 am
not many immigrants on welfare- just letting you know. (im just asking for down thumbs, i know!)
August 3, 2012 at 12:43 pm
Who would downthumb that? Immigrants still believe in the American Dream, unlike those of us who’ve been here and had our dreams dashed to pieces and/or developed an unhealthy meth/mountain dew habit.
August 3, 2012 at 2:28 pm
Wait, there’s an unhealthy meth/mountain dew habit?
August 3, 2012 at 10:23 am
I tried to Freedomize my wife one time, she told me that it was an exit only.
August 3, 2012 at 10:31 am
Love the happy dance at the end! I’d totally marry this guy!
August 3, 2012 at 10:49 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
August 3, 2012 at 11:12 am
Sorry, dude, gynecology, proctology, and urology are all separate specialties. Maybe he could get one of his doctor friends from Cuba to join him on the lot…?
August 3, 2012 at 11:07 am
It’s nice to see a used car salesman/gynecologist who wouldn’t make the customer/patient feel violated.
August 3, 2012 at 12:45 pm
Although I foresee many wacky sitcom style mixups involving tire iron/speculum and floor jack/stirrup hijinks.
August 3, 2012 at 11:21 am
The guys playing the instruments were Cuban Neuro surgeons.
August 3, 2012 at 12:06 pm
this is exactly what makes this country great! except at the same time what is f-ed up about it, I mean he has probably been a gynecologist for years, and cant work doing that (who knows maybe he dosent really want to) and yet there he is with the great attitude and his happy dance, happy to be here.
August 3, 2012 at 12:17 pm
I believe this is from the show “Rhett and Link Commercial Kings” on the IFC network. If you have never watched it, you should check it out. Pure, unadulterated awesomeness: http://www.ifc.com/shows/rhett-link
August 3, 2012 at 12:43 pm
Okay, 1) I loved this.
2) I used to live in Winston-Salem, NC, and, I don’t know which would be worse–the average North Carolinian trying to understand this guy, or the reverse.
August 3, 2012 at 1:21 pm
What? I didn’t get that.
August 3, 2012 at 12:43 pm
Looks who’s Havana great time!
August 3, 2012 at 1:06 pm
My favorite part:
“People with BAD CREDIT driving Everywhere!!”
August 3, 2012 at 2:12 pm
This a one of many insane local commercials produced by Rhett and Link. This is far from the craziest. You can find most of them on their youtube channel on the Commercial Kings playlist.
August 3, 2012 at 2:20 pm
This one with a pig in space shooting an Egyptian pharoah in the junk might give the Cuban gyno/car salesman a run for his money.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OciLzHq7RIY
August 3, 2012 at 2:27 pm
Beware the sweet deal he’s offering on the gently used red Probe. I won’t be making THAT mistake again.
August 3, 2012 at 2:33 pm
“Fine, fine! I’ll pay extra for the leather interior… but I want a free pap-smear.”
August 3, 2012 at 2:35 pm
yup Rhett and Link thought so. The North Carolina bit and the Amazing Add bit tipped me off.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSReSGe200A
August 3, 2012 at 5:25 pm
August 3, 2012 at 4:43 pm
I created an account just so I could log on and say “Rhett and Link! Rhett and LInk!” Those two do some really funny and talented things, including a Taco Bell drive-thru song and a catchy song about crayon colors.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uwY3sjqYX0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIVBz3NX194
August 3, 2012 at 5:09 pm
I have a sudden, deep need to buy a car.
August 3, 2012 at 5:11 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnOyMSEWNTs
This one is my favorite so far.
August 3, 2012 at 5:18 pm
This commercial is what it’s like living in Miami. My old neighbor was a veterinarian in Cuba and now he’s a plastic surgeon by day and low level coke dealer by night. No joke.
August 3, 2012 at 5:57 pm
Oh I love this video! I saw it YESTERDAY when Jackie posted it.
August 3, 2012 at 5:58 pm
This dude is like the honey-badger of mobile home salesmen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-RLqLx1iYI
August 3, 2012 at 7:42 pm
Shit, I think I’m in love.
August 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm
Yet another reason to be proud to live in North Carolina. We have car!
August 3, 2012 at 9:17 pm
I just have to add that he reminds me of the ads that used to run on local tv in the 80s with Dave Campo.
http://youtu.be/M48HTxtjFdk
August 4, 2012 at 10:42 am
I logged in just to comment on this:
THIS. WAS. BEAUTIFUL.
August 7, 2012 at 9:43 pm
I worked in High Point one summer. It was bloody hot. Drug-addict thieves had stolen all the copper wiring. That’s what kind of town it is.