Y’know, I can usually figure out what brings on the downthumb Zerg rush, but this one has me a bit flummoxed. Do they think you’re talking shit about her actual breasts? Do they think you’re talking shit about plastic surgery? Or do they really just hate that you’ve confused “silicon” and “silicone”? We may never know.
There’s something charming about this description, particularly in the way it asserts that this alleged sculpture actually is Cameron Diaz, and not just a dubious likeness of her.
I kind of like to imagine that this description is the lede paragraph to her Wikipedia entry. And then I imagine the “Did you know?” blurb: “…that [[Cameron Diaz]] is painted aluminum metallic (color) with a clear coat for durability?”
Then I imagine someone adding (citation needed).
Then I realize I really need to get off the Internet for a while.
It looks like the sculpture’s right hand has only 3 fingers or is making an “A-OK” sign whilst holding up that boob. Either way, ogre Fiona is looking better and better in comparison.
hydrocast (hī’drə-kāst’)
The process of using a device consisting of several water-collection bottles, such as Nansen bottles, that are wired and clamped together and used to collect data on water characteristics at various depths.
Judging by shape, that sounds remarkably accurate.
Etsy has a Team Erotica? But it is a sin to call someone out? I want to see the Etsy Ten Commandments:
Thou shall not call out.
Thou shall insert random nudity into product pictures.
Thou shall not shave or groom your naughty bits for said above pictures…
And to think, before today, I had no idea there was on old, bearded man in the backroads of West Virginia. making artistic, erotic metallic castings of Jessica Biel and Cameron Diaz in his garage.
Everyone is on about that, um, *interesting* boob and rightfully so, but has no one noticed that poor Cameron’s lip makes her look like she’s had a stroke?
August 2, 2012 at 2:05 pm
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August 2, 2012 at 11:22 pm
Y’know, I can usually figure out what brings on the downthumb Zerg rush, but this one has me a bit flummoxed. Do they think you’re talking shit about her actual breasts? Do they think you’re talking shit about plastic surgery? Or do they really just hate that you’ve confused “silicon” and “silicone”? We may never know.
August 3, 2012 at 3:19 am
I downvoted it because it makes no freakin’ sense. It sounds like it doesn’t to you either…
August 3, 2012 at 9:51 am
I must be Wizzo the AMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYZING, because uh….I got it?
August 3, 2012 at 10:11 am
“That breast is square. Maybe they used Legos instead of silicone in her boob job. See, because Legos are square and made of plastic.”
Seems pretty clear to me.
August 3, 2012 at 11:31 am
Whats up with the snarly pout on the lips.
August 2, 2012 at 2:05 pm
Is that a blow up doll of Cameron? Because the thing hanging off her chest looks like the nozzle you inflate the thing with…
August 2, 2012 at 2:12 pm
The good news is that that gives us a new way to upcycle an old breast pump.
August 2, 2012 at 2:06 pm
Maybe she’s born with it…
Maybe it’s regretsy
August 2, 2012 at 2:06 pm
No framing required? I beg to differ. That bitch needs a special bra or something.
August 2, 2012 at 2:35 pm
She wears a Z cup.
August 2, 2012 at 2:06 pm
looks like she was getting her boob ready for a mammogram when the sculpture was made.
August 2, 2012 at 2:06 pm
Where is the other bosom? Or why are they so FAR apart!?
August 2, 2012 at 2:07 pm
Would you really want another one shaped like that?
August 2, 2012 at 2:07 pm
There’s something charming about this description, particularly in the way it asserts that this alleged sculpture actually is Cameron Diaz, and not just a dubious likeness of her.
I kind of like to imagine that this description is the lede paragraph to her Wikipedia entry. And then I imagine the “Did you know?” blurb: “…that [[Cameron Diaz]] is painted aluminum metallic (color) with a clear coat for durability?”
Then I imagine someone adding (citation needed).
Then I realize I really need to get off the Internet for a while.
August 2, 2012 at 2:26 pm
Just a thought, but we could probably all make this happen for you, Vice.
August 2, 2012 at 3:19 pm
Just for you.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cameron_Diaz
August 2, 2012 at 5:10 pm
For the benefit of those late to the game:
http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Cameron_Diaz&oldid=505488456
August 2, 2012 at 5:24 pm
Oh shiza, that just made my day.
August 2, 2012 at 9:11 pm
The edits are gone and I now have 2 wiki warnings.
August 2, 2012 at 11:20 pm
Wikipedia being Wikipedia, I suppose the warnings would be for:
- leaving a citation.
- not writing in garbled English.
August 3, 2012 at 9:52 am
NOOOOO!!! The cupcakes have taken over Wikipedia???
August 2, 2012 at 2:08 pm
Strong like bull
Udder like cow
August 2, 2012 at 2:13 pm
Spongebob Square Tit
August 3, 2012 at 9:56 am
I think you meant SpongeBOOB….
August 2, 2012 at 2:18 pm
I just sprayed wine all over my keyboard….
August 2, 2012 at 2:22 pm
Good idea. Helps get the sticky crud out from under the keys.
August 2, 2012 at 2:36 pm
Unintentional– I assure you…
August 2, 2012 at 2:22 pm
Although her boob is certainly distracting…
the deformed expression on her face signals, in my opinion, that she does not like the results of this mammogram she is giving herself.
August 2, 2012 at 2:26 pm
The mouth looks like belongs to a fish.
August 2, 2012 at 2:23 pm
The sculpture is looking down sadly, as if to say, “dammit, my tits still have corners, and that nipple has drifed since yesterday.”
August 2, 2012 at 5:53 pm
I hate drifed nipples.
August 2, 2012 at 2:25 pm
No, seriously–I’ve seen that boob before. It was in a 1930′s medical study about breast cancer. Not kidding.
August 2, 2012 at 2:25 pm
I was thinking that perhaps that is actually a baby that is lacking eyes and a nose and body. The head shape is slightly pointy, but almost spot on
August 2, 2012 at 2:27 pm
I’m wondering if this guy’s seen real live boobs in the flesh (so to speak.) This “artwork” reminds me of the 40-year-old virgin:
“You know how when you grab a woman’s breast… it feels like… a bag of sand.”
August 2, 2012 at 2:29 pm
looking at his other work, I’d say 40 year old virgin mightn’t be too far off.
August 2, 2012 at 2:27 pm
I find it udderly worth the money, just for the conversation-starting ability.
August 2, 2012 at 2:27 pm
My highschool boyfriend would complain when I left boob dents in his sweaters after I wore them.
Her boyfriend is going to be pissed.
August 2, 2012 at 2:29 pm
It looks like the sculpture’s right hand has only 3 fingers or is making an “A-OK” sign whilst holding up that boob. Either way, ogre Fiona is looking better and better in comparison.
August 2, 2012 at 2:34 pm
I hope ole Cam sues the “artist” who made this.
August 2, 2012 at 2:36 pm
What cup size is that? Looks like a medium men’s to me.
August 3, 2012 at 8:29 am
I’m trying to gauge it. I wear a 38 long, so … yeah.
August 2, 2012 at 2:52 pm
Any old non-celebrity can get symmetrical implants.
August 2, 2012 at 2:52 pm
hydrocast (hī’drə-kāst’)
The process of using a device consisting of several water-collection bottles, such as Nansen bottles, that are wired and clamped together and used to collect data on water characteristics at various depths.
Judging by shape, that sounds remarkably accurate.
August 2, 2012 at 2:56 pm
If that boob needs to be tightened, just insert a Phillips head screwdriver into the nipple.
August 2, 2012 at 3:09 pm
Etsy has a Team Erotica? But it is a sin to call someone out? I want to see the Etsy Ten Commandments:
Thou shall not call out.
Thou shall insert random nudity into product pictures.
Thou shall not shave or groom your naughty bits for said above pictures…
August 2, 2012 at 3:09 pm
Maybe Cameron was on the way out the door and hit her boob on the mailbox?
August 2, 2012 at 7:11 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzosGQULrtc&feature=related
August 2, 2012 at 3:11 pm
For a second there I thought maybe my own boob was not unusual, but then I read the comments
August 2, 2012 at 5:55 pm
Pics.
August 2, 2012 at 3:41 pm
I know what this reminds me of!
August 2, 2012 at 6:43 pm
It reminded me of this.
August 2, 2012 at 4:22 pm
And to think, before today, I had no idea there was on old, bearded man in the backroads of West Virginia. making artistic, erotic metallic castings of Jessica Biel and Cameron Diaz in his garage.
What will tomorrow bring?
August 2, 2012 at 6:16 pm
More disappointing art?
August 2, 2012 at 7:27 pm
You’re psychic.
August 2, 2012 at 4:34 pm
Why is the Enterprise hiding under Cameron’s sweater?
“I can na’ say what happened, Captain, but it appears we’ve warped into a teat!” (said in my best Scottish brogue)
August 2, 2012 at 5:14 pm
Everyone is on about that, um, *interesting* boob and rightfully so, but has no one noticed that poor Cameron’s lip makes her look like she’s had a stroke?
August 2, 2012 at 5:16 pm
Suddenly I’m craving flap jacks… Hmm
August 2, 2012 at 6:12 pm
I’m uncertain as to what makes this resemble Cameron Diaz. I don’t see anything there, not in the Picasso boob nor in the stroke patient scowl.