Well, the first telegraph poles were put up in the US sometime in the 1840s, so it’s sloppy but not seriously anachronistic. Besides, ‘neo-Victorian’ covers all manner of steampunk sins. ;P
In addition, this is a caberet-style hat, and the materials are all wrong. This would fly in the 20s, but not in the Victorian era itself. They’d laugh you out of the haberdasher’s.
Now, Marie Antoinette might be more welcoming, but the cheap materials would get you sneered out of court.
This looks less like steam punk neo victorian and more like Grandma is off her meds and is stealing baby Jane’s doll clothes and the neighbors clock again.
Fuckery like this just breeds further fuckery. Gently tap her on the shoulder and whisper whimsically in her ear that if she sits in the tree, the giant mechanical pigeon taxi can’t land and take her back to the Land of Oversized Clocks.
As far as fascinators that have been featured here go, this one isn’t SO bad… but that being said, I really don’t understand this “trend.” Unless you’re going to a royal wedding or something, is there really any need for decorative teeny hats?
They’re very important in trees, obviously. They provide protection from the squirrals who think you’re coming up the tree after their nuts that you’ll put to use in some sort of cracktastic caketopper for the next hipster wedding, after all.
Wickedheart… your hats are so dang cute. I’m getting married next year and we’re starting to get the bridesmaid’s tuxes put together and I want them to have little top hat fascinators to go with their cha cha heels. I’ll have to convo you about special orders, if you make them of course.
Sorry, I like it. it reminds me of Alice in Wonderland, and honestly? I intended on an Alice in Wonderland themed wedding. they’d be cute tilted a bit on updos. The thing that bothers me most is that HK states little hand on the three and the big hand on the 12, when…it’s big hand on the 1, little hand on the 4. :s I am slightly ashamed to admit my lameness today. but only slightly!!!!!
I’d love it as performance art. If she sat like that for hours and you could climb a ladder and stare into her eyes while the clock ticked away…OK, I couldn’t do that, but I like the thought of her staying like this a long time, maybe while the leaves dropped off the tree.
I once got into a major dispute about the Roman numerals on clocks– with an architect. He said if I could produce three examples of clocks with the IV numeral instead of IIII he’d take me to dinner. I did find three (harder than you’d think) and I did get dinner, but the guy turned out to be a dick anyway.
No, they usually make them like that everywhere. There are many theories as to why, but the most logical one is that the clock maker only needs one mold (used 4 times) to make the face if it uses iiii instead of iv.
…I had to shop around for giant clocks last month and I’m shocked that what I learned has finally been almost useful…
That makes me INSANE. I have never seen that before (maybe I’m just lucky). I would have to smash that clock IRL. (And if I didn’t, I just know I’d have nightmares.)
She looks like the victim of a really depressing practical joke. Like a couple of guys told her that if she dresses up and sits in the tree, they’ll come and pick her up for the Clockwork Festival or something and she’s been waiting there for 43 hours, thinking “Five more minutes… They’ll be here. They said they’d be here…”
I guess it was inevitable that at some point the people responsible for making things which are not steampunk would start sticking clock parts on people instead of just stinking them on octopus pendants.
I loved Depp’s costume. But I only got through it because I pretended it wasn’t based on Alice in Wonderland. It’s not bad if you don’t view it as a retelling of a fairy tale.
They are enormous fun: to make, and then sell for outrageous prices to people who should know better. And thanks for the burnt doily idea… charred lace, spiky things, black & purple happy happy.
Flava Flav’s biological mother goes to the Kentucky Derby; the $100 gate fee deters admittance. Determined still, she cheers for longshot “Fishnet Milf” whilst seeking solstice from the unrelenting heat.
1. If you are selling a hat why hold a giant clock to distract people?
2. The roses are crocheted so why do you want me to smell them?
3. When was the last time you took your medication.
Her hats … there’s better felting in the boot liners at the Redwing work boot store. In addition to the featured cupcake with roses, there’s a pancake sandwich with moldy pinwheels and an inverted blue toadstool.
I’m completely fascinated by this woman’s choice of clothing and strangely turned on like a lost member of an anachronistic society. The dinky hat with veil lends an air of insane mystery, the see-through chain mail blouse and the large, pointless clock pretending to lend an air of odd demureness whilst hiding the obvious peekaboo nipple holes in the chain mail blouse. I’m just wondering what’s up the pants leg of those linen breeches she’s wearing. Do her bloomers match the blouse?
July 31, 2012 at 7:21 pm
No gears. Not steam punk.
July 31, 2012 at 7:24 pm
But the clock is extra large, doesn’t that make up for it?
July 31, 2012 at 7:26 pm
Flava Flav meets Steampunk!
July 31, 2012 at 8:52 pm
Steamflava?
Flavapunk?
Punkflav?
Hmm, Flavapunk.
August 1, 2012 at 9:23 am
That makes me think of a mash-up of Flava Flav and Daft Punk.
August 3, 2012 at 7:00 pm
Flava Flav meets steampunk has been done….much better than this heap of stupid.
http://img.waffleimages.com/1dbf33959276ea73423501f71e9f91676d1d8488/23100577.JPG
July 31, 2012 at 7:27 pm
And it’s in bronze-copper tones with old timey fonts FTW!!!
July 31, 2012 at 7:27 pm
Only if the clock takes the form of a monocle-wearing octopus, in a top-hat.
July 31, 2012 at 7:31 pm
Needs more mustache. ONNA STICK.
August 1, 2012 at 3:03 pm
Then i suggest you take a look at this Etsy shop i came across while looking for something to wear to a masquerade….
http://www.etsy.com/shop/WhiskerWorks?ref=seller_info
August 1, 2012 at 9:48 pm
Does it still count as watch parts if it’s the whole damn clock?
July 31, 2012 at 7:22 pm
I would wear it along with tiny clothes and go around telling people I’d accidentally taken too much human growth hormone.
July 31, 2012 at 7:28 pm
So, … are you gonna eat that last piece of cake, Alice?
July 31, 2012 at 7:30 pm
I see there’s a new material made of tofu and it’s called “TOPHAT”!
July 31, 2012 at 7:23 pm
Nothing says Neo-Victorian like a telephone pole in the background
July 31, 2012 at 7:28 pm
Well, the first telegraph poles were put up in the US sometime in the 1840s, so it’s sloppy but not seriously anachronistic. Besides, ‘neo-Victorian’ covers all manner of steampunk sins. ;P
August 2, 2012 at 6:54 pm
In addition, this is a caberet-style hat, and the materials are all wrong. This would fly in the 20s, but not in the Victorian era itself. They’d laugh you out of the haberdasher’s.
Now, Marie Antoinette might be more welcoming, but the cheap materials would get you sneered out of court.
July 31, 2012 at 7:23 pm
Luckily, it’s four o’clock: traditionally, a time to realize roses don’t grow on trees. Sad day.
July 31, 2012 at 7:25 pm
This looks less like steam punk neo victorian and more like Grandma is off her meds and is stealing baby Jane’s doll clothes and the neighbors clock again.
July 31, 2012 at 7:25 pm
IDK how that is neo-victorian or steampunk. Looks more like insane asylum.
July 31, 2012 at 7:48 pm
Nothing MORE Neo-Victorian or steampunk than a Lunatic Asylum!
July 31, 2012 at 7:30 pm
Shouldn’t a top hat be taller than it is wide? This is more of a strange sun hat…
August 1, 2012 at 4:30 am
Am I the only one disturbed by the abysmal construction and lack of proper pressing?
August 1, 2012 at 6:37 am
That was the first thing I noticed.
July 31, 2012 at 7:32 pm
I don’t know why but I want to see this woman sitting at an event with the British royal family. Anyone up for it?
July 31, 2012 at 9:06 pm
“I dub thee, Duchess of Yuck. You may ascend your tree.”
July 31, 2012 at 7:33 pm
Fuckery like this just breeds further fuckery. Gently tap her on the shoulder and whisper whimsically in her ear that if she sits in the tree, the giant mechanical pigeon taxi can’t land and take her back to the Land of Oversized Clocks.
July 31, 2012 at 7:39 pm
July 31, 2012 at 10:03 pm
The floral print really makes that image.
July 31, 2012 at 7:40 pm
As far as fascinators that have been featured here go, this one isn’t SO bad… but that being said, I really don’t understand this “trend.” Unless you’re going to a royal wedding or something, is there really any need for decorative teeny hats?
July 31, 2012 at 7:48 pm
They appear to be important in trees.
July 31, 2012 at 8:09 pm
They’re very important in trees, obviously. They provide protection from the squirrals who think you’re coming up the tree after their nuts that you’ll put to use in some sort of cracktastic caketopper for the next hipster wedding, after all.
August 1, 2012 at 7:51 am
I prefer to use it to lure the squirrels so that I have supplies for making my beer koozies.
August 1, 2012 at 10:58 am
Nobody cries for the dead squirrel.
August 2, 2012 at 9:31 am
I would, but I’m out of glitter.
July 31, 2012 at 9:18 pm
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say the whole thing is some kind of oak.
July 31, 2012 at 8:19 pm
I absolutely love teeny hats. I make no excuses, I don’t care if it’s stupid. I love ‘em. We all have to have something stupid.
And as long as i’m confessing, I also like Barry Manilow.
July 31, 2012 at 9:48 pm
Me too! I do make them though.
July 31, 2012 at 9:55 pm
I’ve made a couple. And some full-size ones. But the teeny ones are like baby shoes – the smaller they are CUTER they are!
August 1, 2012 at 6:53 pm
We love making tiny hats. A lot of people seem to like the idea of displaying them. Kind of like collecting those tiny fancy shoes.
August 2, 2012 at 6:58 pm
But those hats are cute! And carefully made! This one looks like it was pulled from the asshole of a church basement.
August 1, 2012 at 4:48 am
I just photograph them. I am also a teeny hat lover for some reason. Probably because they are not useful for anything.
August 1, 2012 at 6:48 am
Wickedheart… your hats are so dang cute. I’m getting married next year and we’re starting to get the bridesmaid’s tuxes put together and I want them to have little top hat fascinators to go with their cha cha heels. I’ll have to convo you about special orders, if you make them of course.
July 31, 2012 at 11:02 pm
So, what about Barry Manilow in a teeny hat?
July 31, 2012 at 9:00 pm
There’s no real need for fascinators either – especially when they aren’t – but they do seem to come out at the races.
July 31, 2012 at 7:41 pm
Sorry, I like it. it reminds me of Alice in Wonderland, and honestly? I intended on an Alice in Wonderland themed wedding. they’d be cute tilted a bit on updos. The thing that bothers me most is that HK states little hand on the three and the big hand on the 12, when…it’s big hand on the 1, little hand on the 4. :s I am slightly ashamed to admit my lameness today. but only slightly!!!!!
July 31, 2012 at 7:45 pm
I’m pretty sure the misquote was on purpose.
July 31, 2012 at 8:00 pm
probably.
July 31, 2012 at 8:05 pm
I’m an asshole. one of the pictures in the listing is at three. Guess I should look closer before opening my mouth!!!!
August 1, 2012 at 8:29 pm
This would suggest that the model sat in the tree for over an hour.
July 31, 2012 at 8:13 pm
Phew. I’m glad I wasn’t the only one thinking that.
July 31, 2012 at 9:34 pm
I’d love it as performance art. If she sat like that for hours and you could climb a ladder and stare into her eyes while the clock ticked away…OK, I couldn’t do that, but I like the thought of her staying like this a long time, maybe while the leaves dropped off the tree.
July 31, 2012 at 7:42 pm
Does anyone else notice that’s the wrong Roman numeral for four? Definitely mass produced in China.
July 31, 2012 at 7:46 pm
I once got into a major dispute about the Roman numerals on clocks– with an architect. He said if I could produce three examples of clocks with the IV numeral instead of IIII he’d take me to dinner. I did find three (harder than you’d think) and I did get dinner, but the guy turned out to be a dick anyway.
July 31, 2012 at 9:57 pm
Should have sold him on Etsy – dicks are popular there.
July 31, 2012 at 10:05 pm
I seem to remember hearing that IIII is also an acceptable representation of 4, but in just about every case, IV is preferred.
That being said, IIII is hard to read. We don’t process repetitions longer than 3 very well.
August 1, 2012 at 6:00 pm
I’m not sure about that. IIII is very common on clocks.
August 1, 2012 at 8:35 pm
The clock faces on Independence Hall in Philadelphia are original to its construction in the 1753 and they have “IIII.”
(The engraving on the back of the $100 bill has “IV.”)
July 31, 2012 at 7:48 pm
LOL I didn’t see that. Good eye!
July 31, 2012 at 7:56 pm
No, they usually make them like that everywhere. There are many theories as to why, but the most logical one is that the clock maker only needs one mold (used 4 times) to make the face if it uses iiii instead of iv.
…I had to shop around for giant clocks last month and I’m shocked that what I learned has finally been almost useful…
July 31, 2012 at 8:03 pm
Wouldn’t the clock maker need a v for the five anyway? So that really wouldn’t save him work.
July 31, 2012 at 8:13 pm
A quick Google search says that it is most likely a result of artistic balance. IIII on one side and directly opposite is VIII
July 31, 2012 at 9:36 pm
I love Regretsy informational discourse.
July 31, 2012 at 11:42 pm
I’m sorry, but I see nothing in this listing that represents “artistic balance”. She looks as though someone’s put her in an uncomfortable time out.
August 2, 2012 at 7:03 pm
Smile in your listings! It doesn’t have to be an Evangelist-sized grin. The look definitely reminds me of a three-year-old’s time-out face.
No pun intended. Ugh.
July 31, 2012 at 8:15 pm
That was the second thing I noticed, after first noticing the big hand was, in fact, on the 1 and the little hand was on the 4.
July 31, 2012 at 9:21 pm
I could use an IV about now.
August 2, 2012 at 11:38 am
With some of that D medicine?
August 1, 2012 at 8:06 am
Watchmakers and clockmakers often use IIII instead of IV because it balances better with the VIII across the dial.
August 1, 2012 at 8:07 am
Gahh!! Luna was faster than me!
August 1, 2012 at 9:35 am
My online job requires fast Google skills.
August 1, 2012 at 6:34 pm
That makes me INSANE. I have never seen that before (maybe I’m just lucky). I would have to smash that clock IRL. (And if I didn’t, I just know I’d have nightmares.)
July 31, 2012 at 7:48 pm
She looks like the victim of a really depressing practical joke. Like a couple of guys told her that if she dresses up and sits in the tree, they’ll come and pick her up for the Clockwork Festival or something and she’s been waiting there for 43 hours, thinking “Five more minutes… They’ll be here. They said they’d be here…”
Sad steampunk is sad.
July 31, 2012 at 9:37 pm
Her next clock will be in a tower…
August 1, 2012 at 5:16 pm
To make it even worse it all happened on her Unbirthday.
July 31, 2012 at 7:52 pm
I guess it was inevitable that at some point the people responsible for making things which are not steampunk would start sticking clock parts on people instead of just stinking them on octopus pendants.
July 31, 2012 at 7:53 pm
You never know when you’ll need to spontaneously reenact Alice in Wonderland. Or maybe a Bangles music video.
Anyway, call it what you will, it’s still better than that last fucking Alice remake. I say that even though I’m wet for crazy-Depp.
Oh, almost forgot: FLAVA FLAV
July 31, 2012 at 8:30 pm
I love that white rabbit–he’s so stern! lol Seriously guys, do you SEE the TIME?!
July 31, 2012 at 10:06 pm
Oh, Angel Bunny is seriously a dick. I love that guy.
August 1, 2012 at 12:40 am
August 1, 2012 at 6:36 pm
I loved Depp’s costume. But I only got through it because I pretended it wasn’t based on Alice in Wonderland. It’s not bad if you don’t view it as a retelling of a fairy tale.
July 31, 2012 at 8:00 pm
I think the photographer was hoping to start a sister site to Goths Up Trees?
(http://gothsuptrees.net/)
August 1, 2012 at 1:44 pm
There really, truly IS something for everybody, isn’t there?
August 1, 2012 at 6:37 pm
That’s a fascinating site. I would never have imagined that goths climbed trees.
July 31, 2012 at 8:08 pm
Looking only at the picture I had no CLUE what the fuck was actually for sale. I was kind of disappointed to find out it was only the fascinator.
July 31, 2012 at 8:16 pm
I swear I can’t look at a “fascinator” without thinking of these guys:
July 31, 2012 at 9:11 pm
Two snaps up!
July 31, 2012 at 9:34 pm
In Z formation!
July 31, 2012 at 10:07 pm
Holy crap I completely forgot about them!
July 31, 2012 at 10:22 pm
Oh no you d’n't!
July 31, 2012 at 8:47 pm
I absolutely despise these stupid little hats no matter how they’re decorated. They make me want to burn doilies.
July 31, 2012 at 10:04 pm
So I’m assuming a fascinator made from doilies is out of the question?
August 1, 2012 at 1:50 pm
http://www.gocomics.com/printable/pickles/2012/07/30/
July 31, 2012 at 10:13 pm
They are enormous fun: to make, and then sell for outrageous prices to people who should know better. And thanks for the burnt doily idea… charred lace, spiky things, black & purple happy happy.
July 31, 2012 at 8:57 pm
Maybe the size of the hat corresponds to the size of her brain.
July 31, 2012 at 9:05 pm
Psh. I like it. Not too fond of the veil, though.
July 31, 2012 at 9:09 pm
From the thumbnail of this on Facebook, I thought this post was gonna be about chickens and that the picture was a chicken.
July 31, 2012 at 9:16 pm
Seriously. GIS “Barred Rock Rooster”
July 31, 2012 at 9:11 pm
For some reason, to me this looks like a little cake covered in delicious buttercream, made to look like a hat.
July 31, 2012 at 9:24 pm
If I’m going to wear a cake on my head, I want it to be a full-size one so there will be leftovers the next day.
July 31, 2012 at 10:09 pm
You say that, but we all know there’s never leftovers.
July 31, 2012 at 9:32 pm
So take your hat off, when you’re talking to me
And be there when I feed the tree
(with your fascinated steampunk hipster corpse.)
July 31, 2012 at 9:42 pm
Flava Flav’s biological mother goes to the Kentucky Derby; the $100 gate fee deters admittance. Determined still, she cheers for longshot “Fishnet Milf” whilst seeking solstice from the unrelenting heat.
July 31, 2012 at 10:01 pm
1. If you are selling a hat why hold a giant clock to distract people?
2. The roses are crocheted so why do you want me to smell them?
3. When was the last time you took your medication.
July 31, 2012 at 10:26 pm
1. It seemed timely
2. Who nose?
3. I’m overdue for my IV.
July 31, 2012 at 10:02 pm
This reminds me of the time me and my cousin spent half a day trolling tourists on the earthquake trail at the Point Reyes visitor center.
July 31, 2012 at 10:28 pm
Were you under a bridge or is there more to this story?
July 31, 2012 at 10:22 pm
Her hats … there’s better felting in the boot liners at the Redwing work boot store. In addition to the featured cupcake with roses, there’s a pancake sandwich with moldy pinwheels and an inverted blue toadstool.
July 31, 2012 at 10:28 pm
That little hat covers her Parasitic Twin nicely.
August 1, 2012 at 4:53 am
I guess it’s time to drag this out again. I did this when I was learning Illustrator. Read the fine print…
August 1, 2012 at 4:54 am
THERE it is!
August 1, 2012 at 9:26 pm
Print too small, eyes too old.
August 2, 2012 at 9:34 am
I’m pretty sure it says
Grysboorer & Fluxise
Loadem Erglazd
August 1, 2012 at 8:54 am
I’m completely fascinated by this woman’s choice of clothing and strangely turned on like a lost member of an anachronistic society. The dinky hat with veil lends an air of insane mystery, the see-through chain mail blouse and the large, pointless clock pretending to lend an air of odd demureness whilst hiding the obvious peekaboo nipple holes in the chain mail blouse. I’m just wondering what’s up the pants leg of those linen breeches she’s wearing. Do her bloomers match the blouse?