This post first appeared on Regretsy on August 16, 2011.
1. HE’S 60
2. HE WANTS TO BE NURSED
3. THIS IS FILED UNDER “ROMANCE”
wish I hadn’t logged on to this while enjoying a glass of milk with my breakfast….
This is weird. Straight up.
I get the fetish, is IT a fetish, but I don’t get advertising for someone to feed from on Kijiji.
I would think they would join a kink/fetish site. And heck, there are TONS of Mistresses who specialize in this (and they will produce blood work, etc, so you know they’re healthy).
I guess the “ick” factor for me is that it could be GERMY milk.
he should just buy a cow. i hear they are full of milk and don’t press charges.
got milk ?
If you do, call that guy.
By discrete does this mean that he’ll allow you to drape a blanket over him if you nurse him in Starbucks?
I think he means he’s been separated into individual parts. AND THEY ALL WANT TO NURSE ON YOU.
There’s at least one part that wants you to nurse on it.
Go, you, knowing the difference between “discrete” and “discreet”! It’s becoming a lost art. On the upside, though, it gives anal-retentive grammar types like me something to complain about.
the more you know
Just so you know, I’m covering my tits right now in horror.
And I’m a dude.
He meant “discreet”. He is still possibly indiscreet but because he is discrete, at least there is exactly one of him. And because there can’t be two of him, it can’t get any worse.
Is it a deal breaker if he brings his own Boobie Beanie hat?
Well, he *is* an attractive 60 yr old…he says so right there.
See, this is why breastfeeding kids til they’re eight is a bad idea. The end up like this.
He must have read ‘The Grapes of Wrath’ at an impressionable age.
when he wrote “gentle”, did he mean he’ll take out his dentures?
He’s respectful too. So maybe he won’t make eye contact while he’s feeding? Or maybe he won’t burp?
or he’ll call you ma’am the whole time he’s not feeding
It’s hilarious how “old” you youngun’s think 60 is.
What a boob.
I feel so drained after reading this.
He’s being a big baby.
Is the the breast we can do?
Here we go again! Milking the puns for all they’re worth!
You’re right – we’ve got to nipple this in the bud!
Weaning At Everything!
I enjoy our attempts to be punny; they are are real teat. Although, I do agree that some are udderly ridiculous.
Feeding at her breast? no. Expressing some in my coffee? Hell yes.
He should only get to do it if he hasn’t been circumcised. *and, having lit that fuse, sits back and hopes for fireworks*
So, … if he’s uncut, do mean he should offer a trade of cheese for some milk?
Up-fisted just because I really didn’t think there was anything left that could make me almost hurl.
Hey, with a name like “Toejam” you shouldn’t be affected by references to body products.
Got enough cheese to spread on a bagel, it could be a lunch date!
… oh I’m making it worse… *gag*
Would that be head cheese?
Nice try, Zippy! As so often happens, they were sidetracked by smegma.
Nothing like watching intactivist lactivists froth at the mouth. (milk foam I assume).
WAIT! You mean.. throughout 3 kids and leaky tits I could have been a CASH COW too!?! Man.. did I miss the boat…. MOOooOOooo
well… he didn’t state that he was gonna pay for it. so you didn’t miss anything but a very creepy experience.
Well i certainly don’t work for free!!!! He could at least pay the gal for the food cost needed to produce enough milk to fill a 60yr old man-perv!
I’d think breastfeeding strangers ought to count for babysitter’s wages, at the very least.
I’m not sure that nursing an old man would qualify as a lovely experience.
It is, if you’re an old woman.
How many “lac-dates” will it be until he wants to take it to the next level?
You’re damn right I mean adult diaper…
And not the good kind.
I know “dotage” means “second childhood,” but COME ON.
Th-this is someone’s dad or grandfather. There are like a million “Middlebury” towns. This could be anywhere. Exercise your right to bear arms. By which I mean, getting the arms of a bear implanted on your torso so you can whack weirdos off your tits and have them fly a distance and smash a store window.
Hey! Leave those innocent shopkeepers outta this!
Have him smack into a bank, instead.
You lost me at “…whack weirdos off” but “your tits…” brought me back.
They have miraculous life-saving abilities, don’t they?
You mean like…to throw to someone who fell overboard?
Maybe that’s where the bear arms need to whack the weirdo into. The ocean. Then someone can throw some retractable boat tits so they can float behind the rig.
I just like tits.
Whoops, teaches me not to scroll down first. NonWin
Wow very very creepy.
Oh, great. Now I’ll never be able to eat that ice cream again.
I’ve been looking for reasons for cutting down on ice cream.
Go here http://winningateverything.com/
HOLY SHIT.. that’s the scariest thing I’ve seen on here all day…
Those eyes are staring into my soul.
What flavour in the back of the photo is marked “stimulant”?
Viagra with a hint of a lemon, looks like.
It creeps me out that the guy who listed this only lives 12 miles south of me.
One day I’ll learn to not read regretsy on weekends. I may forget things I see once, but twice does the job. Forever.
*Snerk* I’d love to see a breast-is-best militant handle this. Will they say:
A)You freak! You pervert! Stealing liquid gold from precious uncircumcised infants who are needed to repopulate this planet and reclaim our wombyn-hood before it’s too late! Eat kale! Love Jesus!
B: In your six decades on this planet, glorious man-baby, you found that nature gives us what we need in abundance. Please meet with Butterfly Rainbow Diva Moon Cup, who will feed you glorious liquid gold under a full moon while crooning Kumbaya in dulcet tones!
I’d go for A. It’s sexualizing the tatas, and we can’t have THAT, now can we?
but if they stone him to death with La Leche League promotional boobie frisbees, perhaps they’ll still sing kumbaya.
Where the hell were you 11 comments ago? I set the table and everything?
I’m afraid I went to bed a bit early. I’ll rock out with you later, Zippy.
What’s more disturbing – he probably had found some woman who had provided this service to him in the past (in addition to his mother).
As long as he doesn’t cook with it. We, meaning myself and the boyfriend, found a recipe book for cooking with semen. I couldn’t eat pancakes for three weeks after that.
Looks like somebody’s a fan of the Grapes of Wrath…
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