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La Lecher League

This post first appeared on Regretsy on August 16, 2011.

1. HE’S 60

2. HE WANTS TO BE NURSED

3. THIS IS FILED UNDER “ROMANCE”

81 comments on La Lecher League

  1. dixieweaver
    July 29, 2012 at 9:32 am

    wish I hadn’t logged on to this while enjoying a glass of milk with my breakfast….

    Thumb up Thumb down +48

    • Bring on the Bling
      July 29, 2012 at 11:52 am

      This is weird. Straight up.

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

      • Aelwyn
        August 29, 2012 at 4:29 pm

        I get the fetish, is IT a fetish, but I don’t get advertising for someone to feed from on Kijiji.

        I would think they would join a kink/fetish site. And heck, there are TONS of Mistresses who specialize in this (and they will produce blood work, etc, so you know they’re healthy).

        I guess the “ick” factor for me is that it could be GERMY milk.

        Thumb up Thumb down +1

  2. abbynormal
    July 29, 2012 at 9:33 am

    he should just buy a cow. i hear they are full of milk and don’t press charges.

    Thumb up Thumb down +127

  3. Captain Kangaroo
    July 29, 2012 at 9:33 am

    got milk ?

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • ZapBrainAgain
      July 29, 2012 at 10:53 am

      If you do, call that guy.

      Thumb up Thumb down +22

  4. Doria Gray
    July 29, 2012 at 9:33 am

    By discrete does this mean that he’ll allow you to drape a blanket over him if you nurse him in Starbucks?

    Thumb up Thumb down +197

    • Jezzer
      July 29, 2012 at 9:40 am

      I think he means he’s been separated into individual parts. AND THEY ALL WANT TO NURSE ON YOU.

      Thumb up Thumb down +94

      • Zippy
        July 29, 2012 at 10:08 am

        There’s at least one part that wants you to nurse on it.

        Thumb up Thumb down +17

      • Kyasarin
        July 29, 2012 at 11:19 am

        Go, you, knowing the difference between “discrete” and “discreet”! It’s becoming a lost art. On the upside, though, it gives anal-retentive grammar types like me something to complain about.

        Thumb up Thumb down +45

      • abbynormal
        July 29, 2012 at 11:48 am

        the more you know :)

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • Best With The Smell
        July 29, 2012 at 5:31 pm

        Just so you know, I’m covering my tits right now in horror.

        And I’m a dude.

        Thumb up Thumb down +20

    • mindlessBob
      July 29, 2012 at 1:29 pm

      He meant “discreet”. He is still possibly indiscreet but because he is discrete, at least there is exactly one of him. And because there can’t be two of him, it can’t get any worse.

      Thumb up Thumb down +14

    • CrabOfDoom
      August 1, 2012 at 11:05 pm

      Is it a deal breaker if he brings his own Boobie Beanie hat?

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  5. startup
    July 29, 2012 at 9:37 am

    Well, he *is* an attractive 60 yr old…he says so right there.

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

  6. felinecritic
    July 29, 2012 at 9:37 am

    See, this is why breastfeeding kids til they’re eight is a bad idea. The end up like this.

    Thumb up Thumb down +93

  7. felinecritic
    July 29, 2012 at 9:38 am

    *They

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  8. tastyabbot
    July 29, 2012 at 9:38 am

    He must have read ‘The Grapes of Wrath’ at an impressionable age.

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

  9. redministapler
    July 29, 2012 at 9:41 am

    when he wrote “gentle”, did he mean he’ll take out his dentures?

    Thumb up Thumb down +96

    • p0tatodachshund
      July 29, 2012 at 10:29 am

      He’s respectful too. So maybe he won’t make eye contact while he’s feeding? Or maybe he won’t burp?

      Thumb up Thumb down +21

      • ralphgenderqueer
        July 29, 2012 at 5:42 pm

        or he’ll call you ma’am the whole time he’s not feeding

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • Postmenopaws ™
      July 30, 2012 at 1:45 pm

      It’s hilarious how “old” you youngun’s think 60 is.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

  10. vicogin
    July 29, 2012 at 9:51 am

    This sucks.

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

    • Zippy
      July 29, 2012 at 9:55 am

      What a boob.

      Thumb up Thumb down +28

      • PaganChick
        July 29, 2012 at 11:43 am

        I feel so drained after reading this.

        Thumb up Thumb down +18

        • Cockamamie Jamie
          July 29, 2012 at 12:33 pm

          He’s being a big baby.

          Thumb up Thumb down +14

          • Zippy
            July 29, 2012 at 1:18 pm

            Is the the breast we can do?

            Thumb up Thumb down +16

            • mindlessBob
              July 29, 2012 at 1:31 pm

              Here we go again! Milking the puns for all they’re worth!

              Thumb up Thumb down +18

              • vicogin
                July 29, 2012 at 1:47 pm

                You’re right – we’ve got to nipple this in the bud!

                Thumb up Thumb down +11

              • Zippy
                July 29, 2012 at 1:53 pm

                Weaning At Everything!

                Thumb up Thumb down +28

              • aliceblue
                July 29, 2012 at 9:50 pm

                I enjoy our attempts to be punny; they are are real teat. Although, I do agree that some are udderly ridiculous.

                Thumb up Thumb down +10

  11. thecreightonberyl
    July 29, 2012 at 9:58 am

    Feeding at her breast? no. Expressing some in my coffee? Hell yes.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  12. Zippy
    July 29, 2012 at 10:05 am

    He should only get to do it if he hasn’t been circumcised. *and, having lit that fuse, sits back and hopes for fireworks*

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • Rubber_Wonder_Boy
      July 29, 2012 at 10:21 am

      Huh?

      So, … if he’s uncut, do mean he should offer a trade of cheese for some milk?

      Thumb up Thumb down +33

      • Toejam Sammie
        July 29, 2012 at 10:31 am

        Up-fisted just because I really didn’t think there was anything left that could make me almost hurl.

        Thumb up Thumb down +31

        • cratz
          July 29, 2012 at 10:43 am

          Hey, with a name like “Toejam” you shouldn’t be affected by references to body products.

          Thumb up Thumb down +12

      • Turnernpooch
        July 29, 2012 at 11:11 am

        Got enough cheese to spread on a bagel, it could be a lunch date!

        … oh I’m making it worse… *gag*

        Thumb up Thumb down +19

        • AK_Marty
          July 29, 2012 at 12:08 pm

          Would that be head cheese?

          Thumb up Thumb down +10

    • trousers rolled
      July 29, 2012 at 7:04 pm

      Nice try, Zippy! As so often happens, they were sidetracked by smegma.

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • aliceblue
      July 29, 2012 at 9:53 pm

      Nothing like watching intactivist lactivists froth at the mouth. (milk foam I assume).

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

  13. Turnernpooch
    July 29, 2012 at 10:14 am

    WAIT! You mean.. throughout 3 kids and leaky tits I could have been a CASH COW too!?! Man.. did I miss the boat…. MOOooOOooo

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

    • redministapler
      July 29, 2012 at 11:28 am

      well… he didn’t state that he was gonna pay for it. so you didn’t miss anything but a very creepy experience.

      Thumb up Thumb down +22

      • Turnernpooch
        July 30, 2012 at 12:52 am

        Well i certainly don’t work for free!!!! He could at least pay the gal for the food cost needed to produce enough milk to fill a 60yr old man-perv!

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

        • CrabOfDoom
          August 1, 2012 at 11:09 pm

          I’d think breastfeeding strangers ought to count for babysitter’s wages, at the very least.

          Thumb up Thumb down +3

  14. p0tatodachshund
    July 29, 2012 at 10:27 am

    I’m not sure that nursing an old man would qualify as a lovely experience.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

    • Postmenopaws ™
      July 30, 2012 at 1:48 pm

      It is, if you’re an old woman.

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

  15. Zippy
    July 29, 2012 at 11:05 am

    How many “lac-dates” will it be until he wants to take it to the next level?

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

    • Zippy
      July 29, 2012 at 11:05 am

      You’re damn right I mean adult diaper…

      Thumb up Thumb down +22

      • trousers rolled
        July 29, 2012 at 7:05 pm

        And not the good kind.

        Thumb up Thumb down +3

  16. HooHa Glitterpuff
    July 29, 2012 at 11:15 am

    I know “dotage” means “second childhood,” but COME ON.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  17. CollectorOfWaywardRacistWhiteCousins
    July 29, 2012 at 11:39 am

    Th-this is someone’s dad or grandfather. There are like a million “Middlebury” towns. This could be anywhere. Exercise your right to bear arms. By which I mean, getting the arms of a bear implanted on your torso so you can whack weirdos off your tits and have them fly a distance and smash a store window.

    Thumb up Thumb down +41

    • PaganChick
      July 29, 2012 at 11:46 am

      Hey! Leave those innocent shopkeepers outta this!

      Have him smack into a bank, instead.

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • Zippy
      July 29, 2012 at 1:24 pm

      You lost me at “…whack weirdos off” but “your tits…” brought me back.

      Thumb up Thumb down +14

      • PaganChick
        July 29, 2012 at 2:34 pm

        They have miraculous life-saving abilities, don’t they?

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

        • CollectorOfWaywardRacistWhiteCousins
          July 29, 2012 at 6:23 pm

          You mean like…to throw to someone who fell overboard?
          Maybe that’s where the bear arms need to whack the weirdo into. The ocean. Then someone can throw some retractable boat tits so they can float behind the rig.

          Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • Zippy
        July 29, 2012 at 10:14 pm

        Whoops, teaches me not to scroll down first. NonWin

        Thumb up Thumb down +1

  18. Bring on the Bling
    July 29, 2012 at 11:46 am

    Wow very very creepy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  19. maxruehl
    July 29, 2012 at 12:21 pm

    Thumb up Thumb down +42

  20. curmudgeon
    July 29, 2012 at 12:26 pm
  21. erikaerin
    July 29, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    It creeps me out that the guy who listed this only lives 12 miles south of me.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  22. 6eisha
    July 29, 2012 at 1:48 pm

    One day I’ll learn to not read regretsy on weekends. I may forget things I see once, but twice does the job. Forever.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  23. bethycutiepie13
    July 29, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    *Snerk* I’d love to see a breast-is-best militant handle this. Will they say:

    A)You freak! You pervert! Stealing liquid gold from precious uncircumcised infants who are needed to repopulate this planet and reclaim our wombyn-hood before it’s too late! Eat kale! Love Jesus!

    or

    B: In your six decades on this planet, glorious man-baby, you found that nature gives us what we need in abundance. Please meet with Butterfly Rainbow Diva Moon Cup, who will feed you glorious liquid gold under a full moon while crooning Kumbaya in dulcet tones!

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • Best With The Smell
      July 29, 2012 at 5:38 pm

      I’d go for A. It’s sexualizing the tatas, and we can’t have THAT, now can we?

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

      • bethycutiepie13
        July 29, 2012 at 8:40 pm

        but if they stone him to death with La Leche League promotional boobie frisbees, perhaps they’ll still sing kumbaya.

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • Zippy
      July 29, 2012 at 10:18 pm

      Where the hell were you 11 comments ago? I set the table and everything?

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  24. pluto1
    July 29, 2012 at 6:37 pm

    What’s more disturbing – he probably had found some woman who had provided this service to him in the past (in addition to his mother).

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  25. SciFiMagpie
    July 29, 2012 at 9:48 pm

    As long as he doesn’t cook with it. We, meaning myself and the boyfriend, found a recipe book for cooking with semen. I couldn’t eat pancakes for three weeks after that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  26. ashafras
    July 30, 2012 at 10:12 am

    Looks like somebody’s a fan of the Grapes of Wrath…

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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