at about 5 seconds I was going to defend her and be like, aww she’s a cute old lady, but at 35 seconds I grabbed a sledgehammer and now I’m googling her address…. that guitar must die… WHO’S IN?
Also 32 seconds, when I flinched/cringed (I started to type ‘flinged’ said to rhyme with cringed?) and hit stop. Her guttural goat bleating was offensive even to goats.
HOW DARE YOU HEATHENS AND NON-BELIEVERS INSULT THIS POOR OLD LADY’S FAITH IN OUR LORD AND SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST! IF YOU WERE EVEN HALF AS FULL OF LOVE AND FAITH YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND THIS VIDEO!
Nah, I’m just messing with you. This is some of the worst singing I’ve ever heard, and that’s saying something. After all, one of my best friends subjected me to this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSeQCGQXTcY
I couldn’t make it past 21 seconds on the YouToob link.
As for the one above, 33 seconds was when I had to stop and thot to myself: See what happens when people fail to CORRECTLY address who they are speaking with? She should have been saying/singing “Ask She-sus”.
(She-sus is the drunked whore of a tranny goddess of mine that likes to play dice with the Universe despite objections from Einstein.)
Holy crap, you *do* deserve a medal. I only made it to 0:41 at which point my husband declared “Yikes,” and decided to go back to Elvis Costello on the iTunes!
My gawd, I am not kidding, I paused it on 41 seconds and didn’t even read this. The offtune, microphone-shattering “ASK JESUS” was definitely my cue to have mercy upon myself and pause the damn video…
That’s where I had to stop too. I thought she was going to sing *about* Jesus sitting on her heart not try and sing *despite* Jesus sitting on her heart. It sounds like both her vocal cords and her guitar are being crushed.
my mind went to the Monty Python skit “Sit on my Face and Tell me That You Love Me,” and i started giggling too much to finish it. made it to 36 seconds.
I made it through, though it was probably only possible because a very small spider was walking across my keyboard and I didn’t want it to bite me. Made me feel like I was in a college cafe on open mic night.
Strangely enough, I live quite close to that college and somehow manage to constantly forget it even exists. But there are bad singers at every college. I can only imagine some of them know Jesus.
Argh. That reminds me painfully of my upbringing in a very conservative church where the attitude toward people singing “specials” (usually during the offering) was that it was all a Joyful Noise, so whoever wanted to sing just had to ask. I can’t even tell you how bad some of them were.
And the people who’d write their own songs, oh, argh, how awful they all were: “Oh, Jesus, *Bible verse* *Bible verse* *something that doesn’t scan at all* oh, Jeeeeeesus, *more Bible verses* *Christian cliche* *something else that totally doesn’t scan* *shift to minor key* *something about sin and shame*” and on and on and ON for about two hours.
No offense to any of the singers, they were lovely people, but they should not have been allowed to get near a microphone. The church I go to now, you have to try out to be allowed to sing. Thank God.
I live with a moody smart-assed 7 year old obsessed to a video game he made up with his artistic ability. I’ve got all the bat shit crazy I can stand without this lady. (39 seconds, btw).
I am very creeped out by the blurry footage of this old lady kneeling by the bed, and she sounds exactly like a shuffling meth zombie from Chinatown. I went too far.
The end is kinda worth it for the also snerk-worthy end credits (and yeah when I saw “ask Jesus to come on your heart,” I was expecting something VERY different
Okay everybody, we shouldn’t be making fun. After all, her YouTube page says very plainly “This videos is not comedy. I want to bring each of you closer to God. Bring you happiest.”
I kinda felt bad for her, too, but then I imagined that she would probably ask Jesus to dropkick my heathen heart over the goalposts of Hell and I felt like totally vindicated.
Made it all the way through, watching the video and all.
I sure felt like I was ten minutes into it at the 30 second mark, though. At least Afro Circus has a point where it becomes repetitive enough to just sort of fall into a groove. This has no tempo and no consistent pitch, every new note is a fresh hell.
The only reason I made it to 56 seconds was because others at my place were asleep and the volume was low. I thought I heard a hyena being vivisected but I couldn’t turn up the volume to be sure.
To block out the pain, I’m mostly just wondering what the fuck the whole “sitting on your heart” shit is about. I just…fuck the what?
The scariest part is she looks vaguely like one of my math teachers from middle school. She’s a little too old, I think, and I don’t think said teacher was ever married (that dude is her husband right?) but the resemblance was uncanny and frightening.
Yeah, I was raised Christian (although I’ve lapsed into Taoism) and I have NEVER, even from the most ranting raving lunatic Christian I’ve ever met, heard anyone talk about Jesus “sitting (or setting as she was saying) on your heart.” This lady is a SPECIAL brand of cray cray.
Likewise, though I lapsed into atheism. I think she came up with the phrase herself and thought it was the most perfect expression of Jesus’ love that was ever thought of. I mean why the hell else would you use such a weird combination of words?
I am torn between this, the gas prices songs, the one about the plumber finding her teeth, the poetry…. Oh, hell. 81 normalee show episodes, each one as bad or worse than the others.
You decide.
I do wonder WWJD if he heard this. Probably explains why the Rapture ain’t a gonna happen.
I imagine he would reach down from heaven, give her a good slap up the side of her head and scream, “I said a JOYFUL noise, you crotchfruit of Satan! JOYFUL!”
I see this is a multi-layered request for a little kinky bible lovin’.
First the credits ask the bearded robe-toting, sandal-slinging man with a plan to come on your heart. The thing is that’s a bit too kinky for an opening request (and usually costs extra).
So we tone it down by just asking the aforementioned miracle-tossing, cross-loving, zombie godfather to just “sit” or “set” on the ol’ blood pumper.
Once we get that side show going (and believe me its not as easy as it sounds) we spice things up by asking the S to the O to the N of the G to the O to the D to commence with copious application of the divine baby batter.
All the while you are forced to sing off key. This is understandable if you consider that its very difficult to sing with a full grown deity sitting and your chest working his miracle stick rather vigorously.
The flashes to the old gentleman with glasses is just bonus fuckery.
I lasted 56 seconds through this current video, but only 15 seconds through the above vid from WonderWoman. I think the problem throughout these vids is that she thinks she can sing. She doesn’t need Jesus to tune her guitar, *she* is the one that needs tuning.
Probably. After all, that’s the only thing that got me through listening (all the way!) I feel like I just watched something from Mr. Mike’s Mondo Video.
I finished the whole damn thing. And the whole time, all I could think of was that video of the obese woman who gets payed by men to sit on their chests.
Want more laughs? Click through the Youtube link for the song and read the automated transcript. It includes such gems as “please come so mum” and “bear detour”.
I’m pretty sure ladies like her are too scary for aliens to visit. I live in a town full of ‘em. They all go to the same hairdresser, who only knows one hairstyle. I think Jesus sits on that, too…
I put up with 43 seconds of agony before I tried to click to another page – my internet was so slow, I had to listen to 10 more seconds. Must re-tune my ears now…
*shudder* The whole… wretched… thing, and I had my ears irrigated at the doc’s office this morning, so I could hear every horrid note. (Do they still count as notes? After she mangled them, I’m not even sure.)
Don’t Blame the Guitar! Remember, Guitars don’t play crappy-out-of-tune-batshit-crazy-religious-wildly-incoherent-would-be-hymns…PEOPLE with Guitars don’t play crappy-out-of-tune-batshit-crazy-religious-wildly-incoherent-would-be-hymn…
Figures that would be your arguement. I say we instate guitar control. That’s right! Ban ‘em or have mandatory mental illness background checks in order to buy one.
Me to my friend: “am I going to hell for laughing at this?”
My friend to me (while listening to this): “actually, I’m feeling like I’m there right now”
I watched all 1:48 of it. I can’t wait for the Director’s Cut on Blu-Ray. What with the extras and all. I bet the blooper reel will be hilarious!
I’ll let myself out now.
You really need to watch the whole thing, if only to learn at the end that it’s “Norma Lee’s own made-up guitar music.”
I’d have sworn it was Mahler’s Second, but if she says so.
Also… Norma Lee? Seriously (I mean, Serious Lee)? I hope her siblings all have adverb names, too. Constant Lee, Temperate Lee, Modest Lee, etc. Though if they went for truth in advertising, it’d more likely be Talentless Lee, Painful Lee, and Atonal Lee.
This is now how I will punish my kids when they are naughty.
“You ate mommy’s Klondike bar? Go watch the Jesus video! ALL OF IT!”
“No mommy! NOOOOOOO!”
No! Don’t do that! Otherwise you will never hear anything nice again, and you will be stuck hearing this over and over and over again in your mind, FOREVER.
They did contribute to the Fightclub soundtrack. Then did a reunion tour for the 20th anniversary which ran through 2011. No new tours planned for this year.
I made it through the whole thing, but I also listen voluntarily to the Ramones, the Violent Femmes, and Nick Cave. I think that built up a tolerance to the delivery, if not to the subject matter, of this… work.
Reason #745 I am going to burn in hell: I cannot stop myself from laughing in church when “Mildred” sings in her falsetto voice out of tune. BTW: 44 seconds.
I had to show this to my husband because it was so bad and he has now decided he needs to figure it out how to auto-tune things. So if he succeeds I will have to here this songs at least a few more times since it’s his life’s new mission to auto-tune this piece of shit.
P.S. Are we completely sure she’s not having a stroke every time she says “Ask Jesus”? Because it’s either that or she is trying to impersonate “Putting on the Ritz” from Young Frankenstein.
I went the distance. For April. Who now owes me almost 2 minutes of ecstasy to make up for it. (with great power comes great responsibility – just sayin’)
Damn you! I thought I was going to have get that odd non-blinking woman’s voice out of my head by listening to Paris Hilton sing. I never thought I’d be anxious to hear Paris Hilton sing. IT WASN’T PARIS HILTON AND IT WAS NOT HOT!
Her friend probably wanted video evidence when she’s brought up on trial for homicide. She’ll claim it was justified, play the video, and no court in the land would convict.
Of course I had to share this video with some unsuspecting victims… here is my favorite response so far:
wtf is that?
something they’re trying to sell on etsy?
something they are trying to kill insects with?
it’s horrid
it made me want to put my hands over my ears and run out my front door screaming
i kept waiting for…..something
but there wasn’t anything
Not only is she praising the wonder of Jesus, but it seems she also found her teeth in her garbage disposal and had to upload a video about it. This woman frightens the shit out of me, is she going to dance around with snakes too?
Well, the video did accomplish its objective–when she started singing “ask Jesus” over and over I was indeed praying. Mostly for it to stop, but praying nonetheless.
I don’t wanna brag, but I actually made it to 1:05, and I was singing merrily along too, but then Jesus suddenly appeared out of nowhere & punched me really hard in the back of the head. No sense of humor, that one.
I made it to 28 seconds. When the picture of the family bible popped up, I immediately slammed the laptop down, ran for the holy water and tried not to cry.
That is the same “Holy” Bible that I grew up with. There’s a section of pictures in the middle of it with a picture of Judas. In this picture is a small demon. I saw it once when I was 6 years old and still have nightmares about it (29 years later).
I might need to talk this out with my therapist.
I want to ask – is this noise really as bad as it seemed to me, or do I need new hearing aids? I turned them off at 42 seconds and heard just a kind of drone after that. Perhaps this is one of the times when being nearly deaf is an advantage.
My husband asked if she was playing on 33 instead of 45. I did suggest that he speed her up but he refused very rudely. If anyone else wants to try it please let me know if the extra speed makes her sound any better.
THERE, REGRETSY!!! You have BROKEN MY BRAIN, and I am now a Norma Lee FANGIRL!!! She is so bad she is positively irresistible AND NOW I HAVE WATCHED ALL OF HER VIDEOS, WHAT HAS BECOME OF MY LIFE?!?!?!?!?!
My Ask Jesus song is nothing but talking accept two words Ask Jesus.
Putting all joking aside this song was not a joke!!! My sister husband was diagonsis with Prostate cancer so she would go off to herself and pray for God to let her husband live . Her husband is still alive today. She would go off to herself to bring herself comfort.
29 seconds… and that’s only because it took me forever to click the stop button courtesy of the uncontrollable twitching as soon as she strummed the first theoretical chord.
Ask Jesus To Come Sit On Your Heart. He will take the pain if you only ask him. GUARANTEE IT FRIENDS, Go by Norma Lee show and listen to my many videos. Glad to see your listening to my words. http://norma.fam-lee.net website Facebook Norma Lee . Your so special to me.
1:24 before I started crying and stopped it. Dear god she sings like a donkey with bronchitis! T.T
Also this is a brand new account and I was wondering if anyone could tell me if and how I can change my profile picture.
I listened to it all the way through TWICE! The first time I laughed all the way through. The second time I laughed and then cried from all the fundamentalist Baptist guilt overwhelming me. I have issues.
July 27, 2012 at 1:32 pm
I’ve asked Jesus for a lot of things, but never for acute angina.
July 27, 2012 at 1:33 pm
Also, I made it to 0:42 and felt like I deserved a fucking medal.
July 27, 2012 at 1:36 pm
I feel like I’m on a bad acid trip
July 27, 2012 at 1:52 pm
42 seconds as well. I may die.
July 27, 2012 at 1:57 pm
at about 5 seconds I was going to defend her and be like, aww she’s a cute old lady, but at 35 seconds I grabbed a sledgehammer and now I’m googling her address…. that guitar must die… WHO’S IN?
July 27, 2012 at 2:05 pm
and I finished it… I’m pretty sure it’s grey matter bubbling into my sinuses…
July 27, 2012 at 3:21 pm
I couldn’t bear it, Ursus; I stopped at 0:35.
July 27, 2012 at 4:06 pm
Finished it here as well, I think I had a seizure about halfway through though.
July 27, 2012 at 4:54 pm
LOL, I made it to 36 myself. That’s where she starts “singing”.
July 27, 2012 at 2:05 pm
32 secs for me. and tears from laughter
July 29, 2012 at 10:49 am
Also 32 seconds, when I flinched/cringed (I started to type ‘flinged’ said to rhyme with cringed?) and hit stop. Her guttural goat bleating was offensive even to goats.
July 27, 2012 at 3:46 pm
You made it 2 seconds longer than I did! @_@
July 27, 2012 at 6:01 pm
Yeah, :42 on the nose. It was when her voice dropped down and got 10 x louder/more dramatic that I thought “I’m outta here.”
August 2, 2012 at 9:53 am
I also made it to :42 exactly…
July 27, 2012 at 2:26 pm
43 seconds, but only because I blacked out for a couple of seconds before I could hit the STOP, OH DEAR GODDESS, SSSSSSSSSTOP! button.
July 27, 2012 at 3:24 pm
HOW DARE YOU HEATHENS AND NON-BELIEVERS INSULT THIS POOR OLD LADY’S FAITH IN OUR LORD AND SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST! IF YOU WERE EVEN HALF AS FULL OF LOVE AND FAITH YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND THIS VIDEO!
Nah, I’m just messing with you. This is some of the worst singing I’ve ever heard, and that’s saying something. After all, one of my best friends subjected me to this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSeQCGQXTcY
July 27, 2012 at 4:27 pm
I couldn’t make it past 21 seconds on the YouToob link.
As for the one above, 33 seconds was when I had to stop and thot to myself: See what happens when people fail to CORRECTLY address who they are speaking with? She should have been saying/singing “Ask She-sus”.
(She-sus is the drunked whore of a tranny goddess of mine that likes to play dice with the Universe despite objections from Einstein.)
July 27, 2012 at 4:47 pm
Rather than click that link I think I’ll have some beer.
July 27, 2012 at 11:05 pm
Your friend is warped. That is torture of Spanish Inquisition proportions.
July 27, 2012 at 2:57 pm
Holy crap, you *do* deserve a medal. I only made it to 0:41 at which point my husband declared “Yikes,” and decided to go back to Elvis Costello on the iTunes!
July 27, 2012 at 5:33 pm
My gawd, I am not kidding, I paused it on 41 seconds and didn’t even read this. The offtune, microphone-shattering “ASK JESUS” was definitely my cue to have mercy upon myself and pause the damn video…
July 27, 2012 at 10:06 pm
That’s where I had to stop too. I thought she was going to sing *about* Jesus sitting on her heart not try and sing *despite* Jesus sitting on her heart. It sounds like both her vocal cords and her guitar are being crushed.
The moral of this story: Jesus has a big ass.
July 27, 2012 at 6:56 pm
37 seconds…only because I couldn’t coordinate covering my ears and shutting my iPad down with my elbow any faster.
July 28, 2012 at 8:02 am
I made it all the way through, but then I realized my computer was muted.
July 29, 2012 at 10:30 pm
You do deserve a medal. I only made it to 0:28.
July 27, 2012 at 1:40 pm
Could be worse. Could be Jamisings.
July 27, 2012 at 1:42 pm
I don’t know if that’s looking on the bright side or not, but it made me laugh and shudder at the same time.
July 28, 2012 at 11:31 am
I snorted cause I thought you said laugh and slobber at the same time. I was catatonic!
July 27, 2012 at 2:25 pm
There is some ‘young person’ out there who showed this woman how to use the internet. I ask Jesus to sit on him/her.
July 28, 2012 at 12:27 am
Sounds like she was singing this while sitting on Jebus’s face.
July 28, 2012 at 12:28 am
Shit, I meant “Jesus”, silly me.
July 27, 2012 at 2:51 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 27, 2012 at 1:32 pm
Ask Jesus to come sit on my….
uh…
July 27, 2012 at 1:42 pm
my mind went to the Monty Python skit “Sit on my Face and Tell me That You Love Me,” and i started giggling too much to finish it. made it to 36 seconds.
July 27, 2012 at 2:21 pm
Am I the only one who swore the opening screen said “Ask Jesus to come on your heart”???
Well, I suppose he would be about the only one who could, without surgery….
July 27, 2012 at 2:23 pm
Oops, obviously not. Note to self: read ALL the comments before commenting. DOH!
July 27, 2012 at 1:33 pm
I didn’t know Jesus wore work shirts and glasses.
July 27, 2012 at 1:33 pm
Well that just fucked my entire afternoon up.
Chillingly dystopic, I give it a 4/10 rating.
July 27, 2012 at 4:28 pm
You’re way too generous.
SRSLY
July 27, 2012 at 1:33 pm
How far did I get?
I didn’t.
July 27, 2012 at 1:33 pm
40 seconds…..I don’t want nobody “settin” on my heart!
July 27, 2012 at 1:33 pm
so is the guy jesus or her guitar tuner? voice coach would work too! (25 seconds, btw)
July 27, 2012 at 1:34 pm
The opening titles of the video say “ask Jesus to come on your heart” rather than to “come set on your heart.”
Not sure which is worse.
July 27, 2012 at 1:37 pm
come sit on my heart?
July 29, 2012 at 8:07 pm
I can’t help but understand it as her asking Jesus to come sit on her face.
July 27, 2012 at 1:37 pm
yea I also read come on your heart and was a little grossed out
July 27, 2012 at 1:39 pm
I’m sure there’s a fetish for that somewhere.
July 27, 2012 at 1:42 pm
And.. There is!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hierophilia
July 27, 2012 at 1:43 pm
socre! 150 points!
July 27, 2012 at 1:44 pm
score** cat on keyboard >.>
July 27, 2012 at 1:54 pm
Yeah, sure, blame the cat.
July 27, 2012 at 4:49 pm
Play ‘em off, Keyboard Cat.
July 27, 2012 at 1:41 pm
Jesus coming on your heart is the climax to the upcoming memoir “Slow Dancing With Jesus” (cf prev comments).
July 27, 2012 at 1:48 pm
Maybe it’s a follow-up to a previous song, “Jesus has a heart on for you”
July 27, 2012 at 3:03 pm
I KNEW prom was a bad idea
July 27, 2012 at 1:34 pm
I made it through, though it was probably only possible because a very small spider was walking across my keyboard and I didn’t want it to bite me. Made me feel like I was in a college cafe on open mic night.
July 27, 2012 at 1:43 pm
Well yeah, if you went to Hillbilly Christian University.
July 27, 2012 at 1:47 pm
You mean Liberty?
http://www.liberty.edu/
July 27, 2012 at 3:36 pm
Strangely enough, I live quite close to that college and somehow manage to constantly forget it even exists. But there are bad singers at every college. I can only imagine some of them know Jesus.
July 27, 2012 at 4:18 pm
Argh. That reminds me painfully of my upbringing in a very conservative church where the attitude toward people singing “specials” (usually during the offering) was that it was all a Joyful Noise, so whoever wanted to sing just had to ask. I can’t even tell you how bad some of them were.
July 27, 2012 at 4:19 pm
Why am I here? This was supposed to be a new comment.
July 27, 2012 at 4:52 pm
I think we must have grown up in the same congregation.
July 28, 2012 at 4:44 pm
And the people who’d write their own songs, oh, argh, how awful they all were: “Oh, Jesus, *Bible verse* *Bible verse* *something that doesn’t scan at all* oh, Jeeeeeesus, *more Bible verses* *Christian cliche* *something else that totally doesn’t scan* *shift to minor key* *something about sin and shame*” and on and on and ON for about two hours.
No offense to any of the singers, they were lovely people, but they should not have been allowed to get near a microphone. The church I go to now, you have to try out to be allowed to sing. Thank God.
July 27, 2012 at 1:46 pm
I made it all the way through as well, but mainly because I wanted to hear all the bat shit crazy!!!
July 27, 2012 at 1:58 pm
Same here!
July 27, 2012 at 4:06 pm
I live with a moody smart-assed 7 year old obsessed to a video game he made up with his artistic ability. I’ve got all the bat shit crazy I can stand without this lady. (39 seconds, btw).
July 27, 2012 at 1:34 pm
26 seconds. I need a Xanax Margarita now…
July 27, 2012 at 1:34 pm
I asked Jesus to come sit on my whoopie cushion.
July 27, 2012 at 1:49 pm
You asked Jesus to sit on your fart?
I see what you did’ there.
July 27, 2012 at 2:30 pm
My heart IS a whoopie cushion.
July 28, 2012 at 2:14 pm
*Makes note to self not to hug Postmenopaws too tightly…or if I do, make sure she’s downwind of me*
July 27, 2012 at 1:36 pm
I kind of hate you for this. I made it 40 seconds and now I have the distinct urge to go smash stuff or kick puppies or something.
July 27, 2012 at 1:36 pm
I am very creeped out by the blurry footage of this old lady kneeling by the bed, and she sounds exactly like a shuffling meth zombie from Chinatown. I went too far.
July 27, 2012 at 1:37 pm
Oh my… I see a lot of butt hurt coming from this… probably a flounce-a-rama!
Oh, and I made it all the way through… but does that count if I hit the mute button half way along?
July 27, 2012 at 1:38 pm
no it does not!
July 27, 2012 at 1:47 pm
Agreed – you have to listen to FEEEEEEEL the lorrrrrrd….
July 27, 2012 at 1:52 pm
It might not be the lord, but you definately feel something.
July 27, 2012 at 1:59 pm
And what you feel is wonder on the nature of our Lord: solid, liquid or gas?
July 27, 2012 at 2:21 pm
The nature of our lord is apparently acid reflux. I have emperical evidence.
July 27, 2012 at 2:24 pm
Ahhh. And empirical evidence as well. 59 seconds. It took me three stabs to hit the mute button.
July 27, 2012 at 3:02 pm
Nausea?
July 27, 2012 at 1:37 pm
I was able to get through the whole thing. But then again, I was able to sit through a Poison set last week and that was a fucking train wreck.
July 27, 2012 at 1:42 pm
A minute and 10 seconds is my hard limit.
I had to use my safeword.
July 27, 2012 at 2:06 pm
I’m curious what your safeword is. “Trainwreck?”
July 27, 2012 at 2:06 pm
“Dumpster fire?”
July 27, 2012 at 2:16 pm
it is now!
July 27, 2012 at 4:52 pm
Is it “ctrl alt del”?
July 27, 2012 at 8:34 pm
Alt+F4
July 27, 2012 at 11:04 pm
that’s a really good one! and my husband plays wow so he would get it!
July 28, 2012 at 2:43 pm
/camp
July 27, 2012 at 1:56 pm
I made it through the whole thing and I now have the worst earworm in the history of EVER. DAMN YOU TO HELL, APRIL WINCHELL!!
July 27, 2012 at 1:37 pm
It doesn’t help that it’s only coming out of one headphone
July 27, 2012 at 1:37 pm
The end is kinda worth it for the also snerk-worthy end credits (and yeah when I saw “ask Jesus to come on your heart,” I was expecting something VERY different
July 27, 2012 at 1:49 pm
I want to know who her friend is, and why he hates the rest of us.
July 27, 2012 at 1:37 pm
I have the weirdest earworm ever, now. Thank you. Thank you so bloody much.
July 27, 2012 at 1:48 pm
“Ay-uhsk Jeeeeee-uh-zus…..” Kinda sounded like a baying hound….
July 27, 2012 at 3:01 pm
It sounds like the noise my cat makes just before he throws up a hairball.
July 27, 2012 at 3:25 pm
I’d take any dog that sounded like that straight to the vets!
July 27, 2012 at 1:38 pm
54 seconds of agony but it would have been less if I had not been fumbling around trying to find the STOP, DAMN IT, STOP! button.
July 27, 2012 at 2:33 pm
Ooh, we have the same keyboard!
July 27, 2012 at 1:38 pm
This was… strangely creepy. I am a little scared of Jesus right now.
July 27, 2012 at 1:38 pm
30 seconds.
July 27, 2012 at 1:38 pm
Vintage Kim Deal from before the first group of Pixie years? Or after the Breeders, and she made this in rehab with Kelley?
July 27, 2012 at 1:40 pm
spot on!
July 27, 2012 at 1:38 pm
… at least it got the “good job Dave” song outta my head…
July 27, 2012 at 1:39 pm
I know right! But with me its kooky cookie lady
July 27, 2012 at 1:39 pm
After numerous cease and desist orders from major record label artists…
This is what Michele Bachmann has for her next theme song when she runs for re-election of Minnesota’s 6th congressional district. You go girl!
July 27, 2012 at 1:39 pm
Jesus PLEASE HELP THIS WOMAN she’s obviously in pain
July 27, 2012 at 11:44 pm
Of course she’s in pain. Jesus is settin’ on her heart. Due to poor editing, we don’t hear the whole refrain. Ask Jesus to git off my heart.
July 27, 2012 at 1:40 pm
Okay everybody, we shouldn’t be making fun. After all, her YouTube page says very plainly “This videos is not comedy. I want to bring each of you closer to God. Bring you happiest.”
Um….yeah.
July 27, 2012 at 2:08 pm
ADRIAN EDMONDSON: Oh yeh? ‘En why’s it tag’d ‘z comedy, then, eh?
July 27, 2012 at 1:40 pm
cringed at 32 seconds, gave up at 54. Jesus quit listening before that I think.
July 27, 2012 at 1:47 pm
yes Jesus is all-patient and all-knowing and all-forgiving and stuff but even he can’t tolerate this
July 27, 2012 at 3:27 pm
I like to think Jesus has some sort of divine earplugs for situations like this…
July 27, 2012 at 1:40 pm
There was a strange dripping noise at the beginning and I honestly thought she was peeing on the floor.
July 28, 2012 at 11:33 am
overloaded depends?
July 27, 2012 at 1:40 pm
I made it through the whole thing, cause it’s like watching a car wreck, you can’t just stop.
I don’t want Jesus to “set” on my heart. I have a feeling he’d smoosh it, and then where would I be?
July 27, 2012 at 1:44 pm
That’s exactly why I replaced my heart with a whoopee cushion. I might be in trouble, but at least someone will have a laugh.
July 27, 2012 at 1:52 pm
Somehow it doesn’t surprise me that you have a whoopee cushion for a heart.
July 27, 2012 at 1:41 pm
Made it all the way through. It honestly wasn’t as bad as some of the people who audition for American Idol. Make of that what you will.
July 27, 2012 at 1:41 pm
Aw, I came too late, the video has been taken down…
July 27, 2012 at 1:45 pm
It’s still working for me.
July 27, 2012 at 2:49 pm
Huh. It just gives me, “This video is currently unavailable.” Maybe the universe is trying to spare me the horror…
July 27, 2012 at 2:58 pm
Still working for me.
July 27, 2012 at 3:02 pm
you’re lucky, really
July 27, 2012 at 1:42 pm
Hi Jesus. I have a sort of strange request–now hear me out–I want you…to…ugh, this is so embarrassing–I want you to sit…on…my heart. Sit on my heart.
No, Jesus, I-I said sit/i>.
July 27, 2012 at 1:42 pm
Add I ruined my joke because I can’t make tags– sit
July 27, 2012 at 1:43 pm
I’ll come in again.
July 27, 2012 at 1:49 pm
Jesus! that’s disgusting!
July 27, 2012 at 1:42 pm
I think if we got this lady together with Mark Gormley, they could make something wonderful.
July 27, 2012 at 1:45 pm
I made it all the way through, but only by paging down and enlisting the help of all you awesome commenters! WOO you all rock.
File under: audibal fuckery
July 27, 2012 at 1:46 pm
All of my children at one point came in to ask what the hell I was listening to. Made it all the way through, but wanted to stab my eardrums at :40.
July 27, 2012 at 1:46 pm
I managed to make it through the entire song.
That was… painful it the only term that seems to fit. It actually makes me sad for her. Bless her heart.
July 27, 2012 at 1:50 pm
I kinda felt bad for her, too, but then I imagined that she would probably ask Jesus to dropkick my heathen heart over the goalposts of Hell and I felt like totally vindicated.
July 27, 2012 at 1:55 pm
Don’t feel sad. The morphine and booze were seeing her off to Jesus just as it was meant to be.
July 27, 2012 at 1:47 pm
July 27, 2012 at 1:51 pm
No, for the love of me, I will NOT sit on your heart. That’s too freaky even for me….
July 27, 2012 at 11:28 pm
See what you did? You made Jesus sad.
July 27, 2012 at 1:47 pm
Made it all the way through, watching the video and all.
I sure felt like I was ten minutes into it at the 30 second mark, though. At least Afro Circus has a point where it becomes repetitive enough to just sort of fall into a groove. This has no tempo and no consistent pitch, every new note is a fresh hell.
July 28, 2012 at 3:33 am
The only reason I made it to 56 seconds was because others at my place were asleep and the volume was low. I thought I heard a hyena being vivisected but I couldn’t turn up the volume to be sure.
July 27, 2012 at 1:48 pm
Who needs kiegel balls when you can watch this and laugh your vagina strong!
July 27, 2012 at 1:51 pm
I really don’t think I ever want to think about my vagina and this in the same sentence, ever.
So what am *I* supposed to do for my weak, flabby bajingo?
July 27, 2012 at 1:59 pm
This lady offers classes:
http://www.regretsy.com/2012/06/04/kitty-lifter-mnsfw/
July 27, 2012 at 1:48 pm
0:36. Sweet Jesus.
To block out the pain, I’m mostly just wondering what the fuck the whole “sitting on your heart” shit is about. I just…fuck the what?
The scariest part is she looks vaguely like one of my math teachers from middle school. She’s a little too old, I think, and I don’t think said teacher was ever married (that dude is her husband right?) but the resemblance was uncanny and frightening.
July 27, 2012 at 1:55 pm
Yeah, I was raised Christian (although I’ve lapsed into Taoism) and I have NEVER, even from the most ranting raving lunatic Christian I’ve ever met, heard anyone talk about Jesus “sitting (or setting as she was saying) on your heart.” This lady is a SPECIAL brand of cray cray.
July 27, 2012 at 1:58 pm
Likewise, though I lapsed into atheism. I think she came up with the phrase herself and thought it was the most perfect expression of Jesus’ love that was ever thought of. I mean why the hell else would you use such a weird combination of words?
July 27, 2012 at 1:51 pm
One minute, ten seconds. Do I win?
No.
July 27, 2012 at 1:51 pm
We all lose.
July 27, 2012 at 1:51 pm
I am torn between this, the gas prices songs, the one about the plumber finding her teeth, the poetry…. Oh, hell. 81 normalee show episodes, each one as bad or worse than the others.
You decide.
I do wonder WWJD if he heard this. Probably explains why the Rapture ain’t a gonna happen.
July 27, 2012 at 2:18 pm
Why does she scream in all of her videos?
July 27, 2012 at 2:37 pm
Cuz she’s deef.
July 27, 2012 at 5:01 pm
I scream at all of her videos.
July 27, 2012 at 4:10 pm
Pretty sure if Jesus heard this, he would recant the whole “Make a joyful noise to the Lord” thing.
July 28, 2012 at 2:39 pm
I imagine he would reach down from heaven, give her a good slap up the side of her head and scream, “I said a JOYFUL noise, you crotchfruit of Satan! JOYFUL!”
July 27, 2012 at 1:53 pm
So, boyfriend and I just listened to this.
Our conversation went something like this:
Camron (Boyfriend): Jesus fucking christ.
Me: Don’t you feel INSPIRED, baby?
Camron: I feel like I want to kill something.
July 27, 2012 at 1:54 pm
Hey, I was wondering if maybe any of you guys would be willing to sit on my heart?
July 27, 2012 at 2:19 pm
For a fee.
July 27, 2012 at 1:57 pm
I see this is a multi-layered request for a little kinky bible lovin’.
First the credits ask the bearded robe-toting, sandal-slinging man with a plan to come on your heart. The thing is that’s a bit too kinky for an opening request (and usually costs extra).
So we tone it down by just asking the aforementioned miracle-tossing, cross-loving, zombie godfather to just “sit” or “set” on the ol’ blood pumper.
Once we get that side show going (and believe me its not as easy as it sounds) we spice things up by asking the S to the O to the N of the G to the O to the D to commence with copious application of the divine baby batter.
All the while you are forced to sing off key. This is understandable if you consider that its very difficult to sing with a full grown deity sitting and your chest working his miracle stick rather vigorously.
The flashes to the old gentleman with glasses is just bonus fuckery.
The best part of it all… this was by request.
July 27, 2012 at 1:57 pm
John 11:35 “Jesus wept.”
July 27, 2012 at 2:40 pm
John 11:37 “Jesus then disconnected her cable internet.”
July 27, 2012 at 1:58 pm
Someone had to come sit on my lap to prevent me from reaching my handgun and blowing my head off!
July 27, 2012 at 1:58 pm
I made it all the way through.
Then I went to her Youtube page and found this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAOUWhgjvTg&feature=plcp
July 27, 2012 at 2:02 pm
Dude. I made it through the song, but I couldn’t make it through that.
July 27, 2012 at 2:14 pm
I’m partial to this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdzVryBpGIw&feature=relmfu
July 28, 2012 at 3:44 am
I lasted 56 seconds through this current video, but only 15 seconds through the above vid from WonderWoman. I think the problem throughout these vids is that she thinks she can sing. She doesn’t need Jesus to tune her guitar, *she* is the one that needs tuning.
July 27, 2012 at 2:16 pm
oh god, what drugs is she on?
July 27, 2012 at 2:20 pm
I dunno but I kinda want some
July 27, 2012 at 2:46 pm
By the size of her pupils, and her repetition of phrases, I’d say the lady is baaaaaaaaaaked on the burning bush.
July 27, 2012 at 3:44 pm
Probably. After all, that’s the only thing that got me through listening (all the way!) I feel like I just watched something from Mr. Mike’s Mondo Video.
July 27, 2012 at 3:20 pm
I can’t…stop…laughing…’Thayyy cudint hayve a cawnshunce!”
July 27, 2012 at 1:59 pm
I listened to the whole thing, and now I need to revisit Super Duper Job to scrub it out.
July 27, 2012 at 4:56 pm
Cookies for you!
July 27, 2012 at 9:04 pm
Bad Miss certainly does deserve the whole batch after sitting through this.
July 28, 2012 at 9:46 am
I woke up in the middle of the night with “Aaaask Jeeeesus” in my head, only it was in Johnny Rotten’s “no future” voice from “God Save the Queen”.
July 27, 2012 at 2:00 pm
I finished the whole damn thing. And the whole time, all I could think of was that video of the obese woman who gets payed by men to sit on their chests.
July 27, 2012 at 2:03 pm
Want more laughs? Click through the Youtube link for the song and read the automated transcript. It includes such gems as “please come so mum” and “bear detour”.
July 27, 2012 at 2:03 pm
Why, Lawd, why? Why are they always southern?? Don’t the South already suffer enough with all them aliens visitin’ and all?
July 27, 2012 at 3:35 pm
I’m pretty sure ladies like her are too scary for aliens to visit. I live in a town full of ‘em. They all go to the same hairdresser, who only knows one hairstyle. I think Jesus sits on that, too…
I put up with 43 seconds of agony before I tried to click to another page – my internet was so slow, I had to listen to 10 more seconds. Must re-tune my ears now…
July 27, 2012 at 2:04 pm
the road to hell is paved with good intentions. and bad intonation.
July 27, 2012 at 2:04 pm
She probably works at Chick-Fil-A.
July 27, 2012 at 5:02 pm
My money is on Chili’s.
July 27, 2012 at 2:05 pm
I’ve seen heavy D/s scenes that qualify as a more “joyful noise unto the Lord” than this.
July 27, 2012 at 2:06 pm
*shudder* The whole… wretched… thing, and I had my ears irrigated at the doc’s office this morning, so I could hear every horrid note. (Do they still count as notes? After she mangled them, I’m not even sure.)
Where’s that icepick..?
July 27, 2012 at 2:06 pm
“da da-uh-ah, da da-uh-ah…”
“What that’s your humming, dear?”
My poor unsuspecting hubbo. Bwah-ha-ha!
July 27, 2012 at 2:07 pm
You’re. Damn.
July 27, 2012 at 2:07 pm
This needs Dancing Dror.
July 27, 2012 at 4:13 pm
I think we can safely file him and Towel Mike in the “Where are they now?” files.
July 27, 2012 at 2:08 pm
It’s like a glimpse at Loretta and Mooney Lynn in an alternate universe where things went very, very wrong for them.
July 27, 2012 at 2:10 pm
I watched it three times in a row.. then sent it to several friends. I’m being totally serious here.
July 27, 2012 at 2:20 pm
You’re either:
a) severely masochistic
b) sadistic as fuck
c) lying your goddamn ass off
I like to think you’re a mix between a and b.
July 27, 2012 at 3:38 pm
Definitely in league with the devil!
July 27, 2012 at 2:12 pm
Don’t Blame the Guitar! Remember, Guitars don’t play crappy-out-of-tune-batshit-crazy-religious-wildly-incoherent-would-be-hymns…PEOPLE with Guitars don’t play crappy-out-of-tune-batshit-crazy-religious-wildly-incoherent-would-be-hymn…
July 27, 2012 at 3:05 pm
Figures that would be your arguement. I say we instate guitar control. That’s right! Ban ‘em or have mandatory mental illness background checks in order to buy one.
July 27, 2012 at 3:41 pm
*argument
July 28, 2012 at 2:45 pm
When You Outlaw Guitars Only the Outlaws Will Have Guitars.
Is THAT the kind of world you want, Pearlheartgtr? IS IT?????
July 27, 2012 at 2:13 pm
Me to my friend: “am I going to hell for laughing at this?”
My friend to me (while listening to this): “actually, I’m feeling like I’m there right now”
July 28, 2012 at 3:51 am
In hell, they have her on an endless tape loop.
July 27, 2012 at 2:14 pm
my “made up guitar music” isn’t nearly as entertaining as this. i applaud you, norma lee.
July 27, 2012 at 2:16 pm
I watched all 1:48 of it. I can’t wait for the Director’s Cut on Blu-Ray. What with the extras and all. I bet the blooper reel will be hilarious!
I’ll let myself out now.
July 27, 2012 at 3:24 pm
Who’s the director – David Lynch?
July 27, 2012 at 4:14 pm
I’m waiting with baited breath for the commentary track.
July 27, 2012 at 5:26 pm
That would be bated breath. Baited breath is what you have after eating sushi.
July 28, 2012 at 2:10 am
Yeah, I know I fucked up.
July 27, 2012 at 7:31 pm
Me too! I can only hope she raps on the extras!
July 27, 2012 at 2:22 pm
Jesus doesn’t know how to change the title’s font, background color and animation in windows movie maker.
12 seconds.
July 27, 2012 at 2:22 pm
And the Lord said unto thee “Thou shalt learn to stay on key when worshiping me”
July 27, 2012 at 11:27 pm
Well, at least she made…well, no, that wasn’t a joyful noise, wasn’t it. Bless her heart.
July 27, 2012 at 11:27 pm
Well, at least she made…well, no, that wasn’t a joyful noise, wasn’t it. Bless her heart.
July 27, 2012 at 2:23 pm
You really need to watch the whole thing, if only to learn at the end that it’s “Norma Lee’s own made-up guitar music.”
I’d have sworn it was Mahler’s Second, but if she says so.
Also… Norma Lee? Seriously (I mean, Serious Lee)? I hope her siblings all have adverb names, too. Constant Lee, Temperate Lee, Modest Lee, etc. Though if they went for truth in advertising, it’d more likely be Talentless Lee, Painful Lee, and Atonal Lee.
July 27, 2012 at 3:44 pm
Total Lee.
July 27, 2012 at 8:53 pm
Absolut Lee.
July 27, 2012 at 9:02 pm
Anyone else craving vodka after reading this comment?
July 27, 2012 at 10:25 pm
Well yes, but I was craving it before, too.
July 28, 2012 at 3:08 pm
for a second there I read “Talentless Lee” as “Taintless Lee,” and this comment took a whole different tone… ~grin~
July 27, 2012 at 2:28 pm
35 seconds. But I was torturing my officemate too.
July 27, 2012 at 2:30 pm
Well, I find the song strangely haunting.
And by haunting, I mean I’ll probably have nightmares about it.
Thanks, Norma Lee.
July 27, 2012 at 11:05 pm
would make a pretty good horror movie score
July 28, 2012 at 3:56 am
… witn Norma Lee playing the part of the tone deaf serial killer
July 27, 2012 at 2:45 pm
This is now how I will punish my kids when they are naughty.
“You ate mommy’s Klondike bar? Go watch the Jesus video! ALL OF IT!”
“No mommy! NOOOOOOO!”
July 27, 2012 at 11:06 pm
yea I’m betting your klondike bars would be safe from then on
July 27, 2012 at 2:48 pm
Ass Jesus?
July 27, 2012 at 2:50 pm
Forget Jesus; I’m listening to Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds. Damnation never sounded so good.
July 27, 2012 at 2:51 pm
If she’s asking man in the blue shirt , someone might mention that isn’t Jesus. Then again, who’s seen him? Maybe it IS Jesus…nah.
July 27, 2012 at 2:57 pm
But damn you! I can never un-hear this…
Wait. I must sharpen two pencils and shove them into my ears.
Yes, that is what I shall do… That will fix it.
July 27, 2012 at 3:34 pm
No! Don’t do that! Otherwise you will never hear anything nice again, and you will be stuck hearing this over and over and over again in your mind, FOREVER.
July 28, 2012 at 3:10 pm
*flashbacks* Sounds like a “Tales from the darkside” I saw once, with Sam Kinison as some murdering dude’s screaming conscience… o_0
July 27, 2012 at 3:01 pm
I made it all the way through TWICE!!! YEAH!!!
There’s blood coming out of my ears, but I think that’s a good thing. Like a cleansing baptismal blood font.
I’m gonna go listen to Motorhead now. Y’know, to cleanse the palate.
July 27, 2012 at 3:02 pm
God dammit, she’s stuck in my head.
July 27, 2012 at 3:07 pm
I wish the Pixies were still together… I bet they’d do an amazing cover version of this song.
July 27, 2012 at 5:07 pm
The Pixies ARE still together. I saw them last summer. They did the soundtrack for Fightclub (I think).
July 27, 2012 at 5:33 pm
They did contribute to the Fightclub soundtrack. Then did a reunion tour for the 20th anniversary which ran through 2011. No new tours planned for this year.
Short version: Maybe, maybe not.
July 27, 2012 at 3:08 pm
I made it through the whole thing, but I also listen voluntarily to the Ramones, the Violent Femmes, and Nick Cave. I think that built up a tolerance to the delivery, if not to the subject matter, of this… work.
July 27, 2012 at 3:09 pm
Doesn’t the Bible say “Make a *joyful* noise unto the Lord?” I guess she misread that as “dreadful noise.”
July 27, 2012 at 3:09 pm
Oh yeah! Over 1:15!
July 27, 2012 at 3:15 pm
“Ass Jesus, Ass Jesus,
To come sit on your heart.”
I don’t think it’s the dodgy mic, because the lyrics make much more sense heard that way.
July 27, 2012 at 3:25 pm
And to think it was just yesterday that I was scared by that bag of animal-part granola.
July 27, 2012 at 3:27 pm
I asked Jesus to cover my ears at 48 seconds.
July 27, 2012 at 3:32 pm
I made it through the whole thing. If this doesn’t get me into Heaven, I may have to rethink my life.
July 27, 2012 at 3:44 pm
I MADE IT!!! Where is my award for suffering through all that?? Oh wait, I think I already eared that gold star.
July 27, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 27, 2012 at 4:12 pm
I asked Jesus then hit refresh, but it was still there.
July 27, 2012 at 4:18 pm
I do believe I have found some gold:
http://regularguys.typepad.com/the_regular_guys_show/2006/04/not_a_prank.html
July 27, 2012 at 4:21 pm
http://norma.fam-lee.net/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1
July 28, 2012 at 3:12 pm
… holy crap.. “Looks like Jew Buddy you met your match with Norma Lee.!” …
ooooh no she di’nt!
July 27, 2012 at 4:28 pm
26 seconds, and that’s only because I fumbled on the stop button
July 27, 2012 at 4:37 pm
If that last video was a sprint, this one was a marathon.
http://youtu.be/RbCNuupuZs8
July 27, 2012 at 4:39 pm
Made it all the way through. You know, I’ve never literally cried of laughter before, but this did it. Maybe a little of it was pain.
July 27, 2012 at 4:41 pm
Reason #745 I am going to burn in hell: I cannot stop myself from laughing in church when “Mildred” sings in her falsetto voice out of tune. BTW: 44 seconds.
July 27, 2012 at 4:45 pm
This one is better.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opTehfG0qw4
July 27, 2012 at 4:46 pm
I had no idea Jandek’s sister was such a devout Christian.
July 27, 2012 at 4:57 pm
I had to show this to my husband because it was so bad and he has now decided he needs to figure it out how to auto-tune things. So if he succeeds I will have to here this songs at least a few more times since it’s his life’s new mission to auto-tune this piece of shit.
P.S. Are we completely sure she’s not having a stroke every time she says “Ask Jesus”? Because it’s either that or she is trying to impersonate “Putting on the Ritz” from Young Frankenstein.
July 27, 2012 at 9:24 pm
I…but…how’s he going to decide what the note *was?*
July 27, 2012 at 11:10 pm
omg I want to hear it autotuned!
July 27, 2012 at 5:02 pm
I went the distance. For April. Who now owes me almost 2 minutes of ecstasy to make up for it. (with great power comes great responsibility – just sayin’)
July 27, 2012 at 11:25 pm
About half way through, I began a Hail Mary. About 10 seconds later, shockwave crashed. Thank you!
July 27, 2012 at 5:07 pm
I made it 29 seconds. I’m proud of myself for feeling charitable now.
July 27, 2012 at 5:12 pm
I listened in low volume on my tablet and she VERY clearly says ‘EFF Jesus’.
Also, I can sing and play the guitar coherently and I rarely do it in front of anyone, let alone take requests for YouTube.
July 27, 2012 at 5:23 pm
I made it through the whole thing. I want a cookie.
July 27, 2012 at 5:35 pm
Just make sure they are enabled in your browser. **hides**
July 27, 2012 at 11:11 pm
fresh baked cookies~!
yummy cookies!!
July 27, 2012 at 5:47 pm
If you liked that one, you’ll love this one:
Paris Hilton
July 28, 2012 at 10:18 am
I… I think I am beginning to love this woman. WHAT IS WRONG WITH MEEEEEEEE
July 28, 2012 at 3:03 pm
Damn you! I thought I was going to have get that odd non-blinking woman’s voice out of my head by listening to Paris Hilton sing. I never thought I’d be anxious to hear Paris Hilton sing. IT WASN’T PARIS HILTON AND IT WAS NOT HOT!
July 27, 2012 at 6:01 pm
I would have gone the whole 1 min 48 seconds but my dog started whining and whimpering so I had to stop after 55 seconds. Let me know how it ends.
July 27, 2012 at 9:25 pm
Well! It turns out we were supposed to ask Jesus.
July 27, 2012 at 6:42 pm
So you make a church themed haunted house this Halloween… play this at half the speed and in g major really quietly.
July 27, 2012 at 6:45 pm
I doubt a friend requested this crap from her. Unless her friend is Satan in disguise.
July 28, 2012 at 3:05 pm
Her friend probably wanted video evidence when she’s brought up on trial for homicide. She’ll claim it was justified, play the video, and no court in the land would convict.
July 27, 2012 at 6:48 pm
Of course I had to share this video with some unsuspecting victims… here is my favorite response so far:
wtf is that?
something they’re trying to sell on etsy?
something they are trying to kill insects with?
it’s horrid
it made me want to put my hands over my ears and run out my front door screaming
i kept waiting for…..something
but there wasn’t anything
July 27, 2012 at 7:42 pm
Not only is she praising the wonder of Jesus, but it seems she also found her teeth in her garbage disposal and had to upload a video about it. This woman frightens the shit out of me, is she going to dance around with snakes too?
July 27, 2012 at 8:30 pm
Why? WHY does she remind me of Peggy Hill??
July 27, 2012 at 8:34 pm
Also, I managed to bite my tongue through the whole thing.. I better get a reward for that. ;n;
July 27, 2012 at 8:57 pm
43 seconds.
Apparently she’s tuned to the key of AAAARGGGHHH!!
Also, did my eyes deceive me, or did the title text actually say “Ask Jesus to Come On Your Heart”?
July 27, 2012 at 8:58 pm
Well, the video did accomplish its objective–when she started singing “ask Jesus” over and over I was indeed praying. Mostly for it to stop, but praying nonetheless.
July 27, 2012 at 8:59 pm
I don’t wanna brag, but I actually made it to 1:05, and I was singing merrily along too, but then Jesus suddenly appeared out of nowhere & punched me really hard in the back of the head. No sense of humor, that one.
July 27, 2012 at 9:10 pm
I made it to 28 seconds. When the picture of the family bible popped up, I immediately slammed the laptop down, ran for the holy water and tried not to cry.
That is the same “Holy” Bible that I grew up with. There’s a section of pictures in the middle of it with a picture of Judas. In this picture is a small demon. I saw it once when I was 6 years old and still have nightmares about it (29 years later).
I might need to talk this out with my therapist.
July 27, 2012 at 9:35 pm
I want to ask – is this noise really as bad as it seemed to me, or do I need new hearing aids? I turned them off at 42 seconds and heard just a kind of drone after that. Perhaps this is one of the times when being nearly deaf is an advantage.
My husband asked if she was playing on 33 instead of 45. I did suggest that he speed her up but he refused very rudely. If anyone else wants to try it please let me know if the extra speed makes her sound any better.
July 27, 2012 at 11:08 pm
I made it 1:11 and wonder if Jesus can give me that time back. Sidenote: What is up with the dude in the glasses?
July 28, 2012 at 9:59 am
That would be Frank. He likes to watch.
July 27, 2012 at 11:23 pm
Oh, dear, sweet 8 lb 6 oz Baby Jesus, this is just fretful.
July 27, 2012 at 11:49 pm
Made it to about 30 seconds and was like “Maker, no!I can’t do this anymore!”
July 28, 2012 at 1:15 am
I got all the way through, but it was a real test of wills after 0:29. And then when it ended my wife said “never play that again.”
July 28, 2012 at 8:50 am
William Shatner should cover this.
July 28, 2012 at 10:20 am
THERE, REGRETSY!!! You have BROKEN MY BRAIN, and I am now a Norma Lee FANGIRL!!! She is so bad she is positively irresistible AND NOW I HAVE WATCHED ALL OF HER VIDEOS, WHAT HAS BECOME OF MY LIFE?!?!?!?!?!
July 28, 2012 at 10:35 am
I made it the whole minute and forty-eight seconds.
I will now ask Jesus to sit on my ears and take away the pain.
July 28, 2012 at 10:42 am
I stopped shortly after my second aneurysm. Roughly 1:08 in. I’m a tough broad.
July 28, 2012 at 1:43 pm
I cried tears of pain. I don’t…I don’t remember that ever happening before.
I’m…I…ah…gonna go hug my tuner now.
July 30, 2012 at 2:28 am
Ask Jesus to come sit on your heart my friend.
July 30, 2012 at 10:39 am
I just asked Jesus to come sit on my heart, and he said he’s not coming back until you put down the fucking guitar.
July 28, 2012 at 1:48 pm
Who is the man?
July 28, 2012 at 1:51 pm
I think Jesus missed and sat on her vocal chords and then her guitar.
July 28, 2012 at 3:29 pm
Glad you guys are enjoying my Norma Lee Show on YouTube. Go by and watch by many videos there.
Here is my store to buy some on my stuff.
http://www.cafepress.com/normaleerocks
My Ask Jesus song is nothing but talking accept two words Ask Jesus.
Putting all joking aside this song was not a joke!!! My sister husband was diagonsis with Prostate cancer so she would go off to herself and pray for God to let her husband live . Her husband is still alive today. She would go off to herself to bring herself comfort.
Thank You friends
July 28, 2012 at 4:31 pm
Well that is just great about the cancer remission, no joke.
… so, what about that site where you spent a whole lot of time and energy posting angry nasty things about what a “Jew-boy” you got angry at?
That doesn’t seem very Christian- especially for someone professing to be so into The King of the Jews.
July 28, 2012 at 3:52 pm
The dog started howling at the first “ask Jesus”, so I couldn’t hear the rest of it. Good dog!
July 28, 2012 at 3:56 pm
The dog started howling at the first “ask Jesus”, so I couldn’t hear the rest. Good dog, here’s a treat.
July 28, 2012 at 3:59 pm
Sorry about the double post – the dog has big feet and is all thumbs on a keyboard
July 28, 2012 at 5:01 pm
29 seconds… and that’s only because it took me forever to click the stop button courtesy of the uncontrollable twitching as soon as she strummed the first theoretical chord.
July 28, 2012 at 5:06 pm
Ass Jesus?
July 28, 2012 at 5:09 pm
Okay, it’s already been said. Still, pretty funny when sung in a Deputy Dawg voice.
July 29, 2012 at 9:14 am
I’m giving this 3 out of 10 stars because it was really hard to dance to.
July 29, 2012 at 9:35 am
I saw the word Jesus and scrolled through.
July 29, 2012 at 12:42 pm
As the daughter of a chronic alcoholic, this song/video brought back many embarrassing memories of my mother the Popov-Inspired Songsmith.
July 29, 2012 at 4:20 pm
Only took me 2 tries to make it all the way through. Pretty damn proud.
July 30, 2012 at 2:19 am
Ask Jesus To Come Sit On Your Heart. He will take the pain if you only ask him. GUARANTEE IT FRIENDS, Go by Norma Lee show and listen to my many videos. Glad to see your listening to my words.
http://norma.fam-lee.net website Facebook Norma Lee . Your so special to me.
July 30, 2012 at 1:24 pm
I’d buy a dozen o’these if’n they came in my size.
http://www.cafepress.com/normaleerocks.294474921#
July 30, 2012 at 7:57 pm
They come in small, medium and Large.
July 30, 2012 at 7:26 pm
It reminds me a bit of The Residents. It would probably be quite good after drinking a bottle of Robitussin.
July 31, 2012 at 8:43 am
now this lady definitely is ill. quite like the lady in “overdrawn at the memory bank” who sings like a very ill person.
September 16, 2012 at 10:06 am
1:24 before I started crying and stopped it. Dear god she sings like a donkey with bronchitis! T.T
Also this is a brand new account and I was wondering if anyone could tell me if and how I can change my profile picture.
September 30, 2012 at 10:44 pm
I listened to it all the way through TWICE! The first time I laughed all the way through. The second time I laughed and then cried from all the fundamentalist Baptist guilt overwhelming me. I have issues.