Cuntelina von Boogerfucktwatley
July 26, 2012 at 4:33 pm
1) I think I poked a dot one time in college after a kegger.
2) I have a whole closet full of animal boons. What’s the big deal?
3) I was in the Hufflepuee house at Hogwarts. It stunk.
omg thanks! (full disclosure: i’m totally shmammered on sangria right now!) i was totally looking at that one like a magic eye to find the derpderpderp!
I read it as “fart” cock! I assumed it was code for low sperm count ejaculation? As for the “poke a dot” person…they’ve been on facebook poking their friends so long, they assume everything has the spelling of “poke”. I don’t mind it alot when they just (obviously) have a single typo. But when they continue to do it, I wonder why they don’t seem to know about this wondrous tool called Spell Check! And if they create something that is misspelled, I’m sorry, they’re idiots!
Spell Check wouldn’t catch “poke a dot”, since those are all words. I actually prefer it when they consistently misspell the word. Spelling it “olw” in the title and correctly in the text means they were just too sloppy to care.
My college music history prof loved to use the story of a student who submitted a paper on Beethoven’s “Erotica” Symphony as an example of why you can’t just rely on spell check.
I like the little couch thing in the “Poke a Dot” listing.
Also, is Jesus Red-Cross certified? ‘Cause assuming he’ll be a lifeguard and just leaving him to supervise your child, without watching, could result in Darwinian Selection in action.
Wouldn’t you love to see the Million Morons, oops, Moms discover that Jesus was behind the gay-friendly campaigns? It would be like the 4th of July with all their heads popping.
I feel terrible to disappoint… I save the Nash-ing for Ogden. Being poetic on Benadryl might make April think I wanted to sell a hemp miniskirt, complete with owlapus charm.
Boomer is getting too much Regretsy coverage: he was just here with his Bull Scrotum Bag. Sorry to disappoint anyone, but yes, Boomer doesn’t sell/ship to WI because some of his supplies are illegal there without irritating licenses & permits and such like. Here, this will make you feel better: not only is a boomer is a big male kangaroo in Oz, but in the houn’ dog patois where I come from, a boomer is a dog penis that’s rarin’ to go to work. Yep, mentally photoshop those images … yer welcome …
They don’t care that it’s bootleg/ripoff merchandise.
“Hello,
I’m sorry to hear about this.
I’ve checked and see that the item (Harry Potter Hufflepuee Necklace) is sold from a third party seller on our website.
Please know that Amazon Marketplace items are sold by individuals or businesses, not by Amazon.com. Because that individual or business processes and ships your order, I’d suggest you to contact the seller directly with any questions regarding this item.
If you’d like to get in touch with a seller before placing an order, follow these steps:
1. Go to the product listing you’re interested in.
2. Click on the seller’s nickname or logo.
3. Click “Contact the seller” in the lower right column of the page.
Please give the seller 2-3 business days to get back to you.”
In Amazon’s defense (and eBay’s too) – they aren’t “above” things like Etsy tries to be. They also only care if it’s counterfeit – like, say, a purse that’s supposedly Kate Spade, being SOLD as Kate Spade. Even the listing title mis-spells Hufflepuff there….so it’s not like the seller is misrepresenting the item.
could WI be…a state maybe? Umm, Wisconsin? I’m not American, but do one of the states have that as an intial? ‘Cause I think the seller is signing off with the Boomer bit.
Yeah, WI is the postal code for Wisconsin. For whatever reason, the seller says they won’t ship there (prob violates some stupid WI state law.), then signs off with Boomer. It looks a little weird the way they stated it, but I think it’s still clear to most folks. At least most Americans.
I saw cock and dead and thought necrophilia. How terribly Luddite to me. I had no idea they were talking about the restful sleep of the beautiful and lusty firt cock ghosts.
I love benadryl. Only problem with it is, if I was typing after a dose, it would look like this: apdrivnhksvhv h bqa ahhhhhhh
because I would have passed out on the keyboard.
drunk/and/or Benedryl spelling, I’m ok with. (to a point, when I remove my laptop from my vicinity.) But my grammar sucks because I forget to correct myself as my speech teacher taught me and make up a string of phrases that sounds like a Chinese reseller.
make sure when you purchase your lifegaurd pillow, you pick up one of these for your newly-wed friends – Mister and MissIs http://www.etsy.com/transaction/84123686
hurry this one has already sold!
July 26, 2012 at 4:33 pm
1) I think I poked a dot one time in college after a kegger.
2) I have a whole closet full of animal boons. What’s the big deal?
3) I was in the Hufflepuee house at Hogwarts. It stunk.
July 26, 2012 at 4:58 pm
Just don’t poke a dot when she’s on her period.
July 26, 2012 at 10:48 pm
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
July 26, 2012 at 5:46 pm
I think that was the entry for letter “B” on the list, but in hindsight, the seller decided to edit it out.
July 26, 2012 at 5:47 pm
I think “It stinks” for the locket key chain was the entry for letter “B” on the list, but in hindsight, the seller decided to edit it out.
July 27, 2012 at 8:56 am
nothing to reply, i just have to say Cuntelina von Boogerfucktwatley may be the greatest internet nickname of all time.
July 26, 2012 at 4:33 pm
I like big butts….and I cannot lie….
Oh well firt cocks are good too…
July 26, 2012 at 4:35 pm
I LOVE A FIRT COCK.
July 26, 2012 at 4:40 pm
yes, firt cocks are great, especially if they stay hard.
July 26, 2012 at 5:02 pm
omg thanks! (full disclosure: i’m totally shmammered on sangria right now!) i was totally looking at that one like a magic eye to find the derpderpderp!
July 26, 2012 at 5:05 pm
they also spelled “their” as “thier”
July 26, 2012 at 5:17 pm
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July 26, 2012 at 5:11 pm
I read it as “fart” cock! I assumed it was code for low sperm count ejaculation? As for the “poke a dot” person…they’ve been on facebook poking their friends so long, they assume everything has the spelling of “poke”. I don’t mind it alot when they just (obviously) have a single typo. But when they continue to do it, I wonder why they don’t seem to know about this wondrous tool called Spell Check! And if they create something that is misspelled, I’m sorry, they’re idiots!
July 26, 2012 at 5:49 pm
Spell Check wouldn’t catch “poke a dot”, since those are all words. I actually prefer it when they consistently misspell the word. Spelling it “olw” in the title and correctly in the text means they were just too sloppy to care.
July 27, 2012 at 3:05 pm
My college music history prof loved to use the story of a student who submitted a paper on Beethoven’s “Erotica” Symphony as an example of why you can’t just rely on spell check.
July 27, 2012 at 2:06 am
I don’t mind a single typo either. Sometimes I like it alot.
July 27, 2012 at 1:46 pm
Alot no understand why sharing feelings with. Alot just want to be left alone.
July 28, 2012 at 8:32 am
Bahs. To grammer nazis. They are angry alot.
July 26, 2012 at 10:51 pm
especially if you let your gaurd down…
July 29, 2012 at 7:17 pm
Like spelling a lot as alot. Hey, it’s a derp post!! I didn’t say anything about the guy spelling no one as noone!
Those little red squiggles mean something people!
July 26, 2012 at 4:38 pm
Where to begin.. I know.. I don’t really want to Poke Dot. She gets around.
July 26, 2012 at 7:33 pm
You don’t know where Dot has been.
July 26, 2012 at 10:55 pm
you can usually find Dot in the WB water tower with Yakko and Wakko
(ps I have bologna in my slacks)
July 26, 2012 at 11:24 pm
Oh, baby, is that a summer sausage in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?
July 27, 2012 at 7:46 am
July 27, 2012 at 8:58 am
do they have bingo?
July 26, 2012 at 4:40 pm
I shudder to think what WI Boomer did to be excluded from buying animal boons.
July 26, 2012 at 10:29 pm
Let’s hope we never find out.
July 26, 2012 at 4:41 pm
I like the little couch thing in the “Poke a Dot” listing.
Also, is Jesus Red-Cross certified? ‘Cause assuming he’ll be a lifeguard and just leaving him to supervise your child, without watching, could result in Darwinian Selection in action.
July 26, 2012 at 4:47 pm
Hooray for Darwin!
July 26, 2012 at 4:59 pm
Moses would make a better lifeguard – he could just part the sea.
July 26, 2012 at 5:50 pm
I’m pretending it’s a normal-sized couch and a REALLY BIG necklace. I’m imagining the buyer’s face when it’s delivered.
July 26, 2012 at 6:52 pm
So, when they said 16 inch, they meant foot. And here I was thinking “man, that’s a tiny neck.”
July 27, 2012 at 7:03 am
My neck is 13 inches, so 16 would be fine for a choker.
July 27, 2012 at 3:46 pm
angel drawers…I am picture that and now I can’t stop laughing. The mental image of someone receiving this will not get old.
July 26, 2012 at 5:50 pm
He isn’t a lifeguard. He’s a lifegaurd. Certified by the Red Corss.
July 26, 2012 at 7:15 pm
Or the old rugged corss
July 26, 2012 at 7:37 pm
Sorry, didn’t notice I was usptaged. I think I have nearly the same comment, but yours is bettre!
July 26, 2012 at 9:19 pm
Very classie!
July 26, 2012 at 10:58 pm
but he’s certified in CRP
July 27, 2012 at 2:23 am
OMG
Jessus is my
LiarfudgeFailedrugFaduglierRagefluidLifegaurd too!July 26, 2012 at 7:35 pm
But you see, Jesus is not a lifeguard, He’s a “lifegaurd” (harder to pronounce).
July 27, 2012 at 9:03 am
what i want now is a Life, Gwar’d pillow.
July 26, 2012 at 7:40 pm
I’ve heard rumors the JC just turns the water into wine so that you don’t mind drowning.
July 26, 2012 at 11:02 pm
(cue choir of angels!) I always wondered what the JC in JC Penney was – now I know!
July 26, 2012 at 11:51 pm
Wouldn’t you love to see the Million Morons, oops, Moms discover that Jesus was behind the gay-friendly campaigns? It would be like the 4th of July with all their heads popping.
July 27, 2012 at 5:36 am
HOW do we make that happen????
July 27, 2012 at 9:01 am
hey now, Jesus can’t be a life gaurd! or life guard, for that matter. he’s supposed to be co-piloting all those cars!!
July 27, 2012 at 3:48 pm
I prefer the sign that said, “Wash is my copilot.”
July 26, 2012 at 4:42 pm
Why can’t WI Boomer buy the boons? What were they planning to do with them?
July 26, 2012 at 4:59 pm
Certainly not what WI Boomer was photographed doing WITH the boons. Sad end to an otherwise respectable life.
July 26, 2012 at 6:43 pm
I REALLY want to know what W.I.Boomer did to be banned from buying a baggie full of crap their snake probably regurgitated.
July 26, 2012 at 4:44 pm
I stared at the Lifeguard pillow for nearly a full minute before I figured out the misspelling. I feel so derpy right now.
July 26, 2012 at 6:05 pm
I looked at it, saw the misspelling right away, but took forever to see that red cross was a, uh, other kind of cross.
July 27, 2012 at 5:39 am
Oy, yeah – your comment helped me figure that one out…..doh!
July 27, 2012 at 5:39 am
That just means your brain is talented, and fixes it in your head so as to shelter you from the pain of witnessing the derp.
July 26, 2012 at 4:51 pm
I would imagine that if you Poke-A-Dot, Yakko and Wakko would likely hunt you down and kill you.
July 26, 2012 at 5:00 pm
You must have been watching the sanitized broadcast version. I watched on cable.
July 26, 2012 at 5:03 pm
That brings back memories – I loved the White Glove Diaries
July 26, 2012 at 9:17 pm
Poke-a-Dot
*blows kiss* Good night everybody!
July 26, 2012 at 4:57 pm
That’s no ordinary rabbit! Look at the boons!
July 26, 2012 at 11:29 pm
Och his wee little boons are not even fit for mekkin’ a set o’ bagpipes.
July 26, 2012 at 4:59 pm
I wanted to be in Hufflepuee, but I’m a touch evil, so the hat will probably sort me straight into Slithertuurd.
July 26, 2012 at 4:59 pm
Wait. Seriously. What the fuck is a Hufflepuee? I feel like I need to know that so I don’t contract it while having unprotected sex.
July 26, 2012 at 5:31 pm
Wasn’t R-Patz in Hufflepuee?? That would explain a lot!!
July 26, 2012 at 6:41 pm
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July 27, 2012 at 8:58 am
Actually you’re thinking of “Harry Pooter” of the Hufflepuee house. The boy with the stink line scar on his forehead.
Hes often mistaken for Harry Potter until people get a good whiff of him.
July 27, 2012 at 1:55 am
ooooooh, you don’t wanna mess with R-Patz, his number one fan will come after you, some youtube user name nuttymadam3575
July 27, 2012 at 1:50 pm
We can make fun of him all we want…right now. The fangirls are busy stalking KStewart for cheating on him.
July 27, 2012 at 3:49 pm
I have an unpleasant feeling that Dolan, Bogs, and friends are all part of Hufflepuee House.
July 26, 2012 at 4:59 pm
I think I found the imperfections.
July 26, 2012 at 5:01 pm
Hufflepuee almost made me spit my drink out on my keyboard.
July 26, 2012 at 6:54 pm
It’s not even a badger! It’s… it’s… I don’t know what the hell that is. It has paws and a beak.
July 26, 2012 at 5:02 pm
I’m latte, I’m latte for a very important datte
No tim to see hella best buy, I’m latte!
July 26, 2012 at 5:05 pm
Isn’t Poke a dot how we found the button on the Triangle Bush?
July 26, 2012 at 5:11 pm
*does her best Grounds Keeper Willy impression* Ach! Tha’s a loot of boons!
July 26, 2012 at 5:21 pm
The firt cock ghost link is broken for me! I need to go to that seller’s store! Help!
July 26, 2012 at 5:28 pm
Eek, hairs stand on neck. Who are you, WI.Boomer? I cannot help but think of Ed Gein and Jeffrey Dahmer, knowing you can’t buy a bag of boons.
July 26, 2012 at 5:28 pm
Three letters and they couldn’t get OWL right? Wowzers.
July 26, 2012 at 5:30 pm
It’s also tagged “elephant.”
Now, I’m a crappy speller – but that’s not even close.
July 26, 2012 at 5:57 pm
clearly you know nothing about zoology, elephants and Olws are in a very closely related genus of animals…
July 26, 2012 at 11:27 pm
Beware the owlaphant shit on your head. It weighs a metric shit ton and will leave you wishing you were merely cleaning up after an elephant.
July 27, 2012 at 1:52 pm
The first sentence made me think it was going to be an Ogden Nash-y poem. I am strangely disappointed now.
July 27, 2012 at 10:31 pm
I feel terrible to disappoint… I save the Nash-ing for Ogden. Being poetic on Benadryl might make April think I wanted to sell a hemp miniskirt, complete with owlapus charm.
July 26, 2012 at 5:30 pm
It’s one thing to mistype a word, goodness knows my listings are probably full of embarrassing typos… but to EMBROIDER a spelling error? Damn.
July 26, 2012 at 5:34 pm
I clicked on that Lifeguard pillow and apparently it’s been photoshopped AND sold. Oh dear.
July 26, 2012 at 5:36 pm
I personally have a LifeGOURD. He’s my little pumpkin.
July 26, 2012 at 5:38 pm
Off with there heads! No really guys, those heads over there.
July 27, 2012 at 7:32 am
That would be Alice in Bumpkinland…”Off with them there heads!”
July 26, 2012 at 5:51 pm
I just ordered myself a ‘hufflepuee’ charm. though i got it off a chinese website because it was only 3 bucks.
I am thinking of getting the ‘ravenctaw’ one to match it.
July 26, 2012 at 6:01 pm
Correction: I got a ‘ravenctaw’ to match.
July 26, 2012 at 6:31 pm
I kind of wish they’d gone with ‘Ravencaw’. That would be sort of nifty.
July 26, 2012 at 6:03 pm
I thought that was a bag of granola for a moment, before I read the listing title. Gak.
July 26, 2012 at 6:27 pm
The students of Hufflepuee House didn’t bath very regularly. It didn’t take a Sorting Hat to determine who went there.
July 26, 2012 at 7:11 pm
I was sure I got put into Hufflepuee for laughing at fart jokes.
July 26, 2012 at 7:05 pm
She could spell Gryffindor, Slytherin and Ravenclaw correctly (I’m not even sure I did there), but not Hufflepuff? Siriusly? (facepalm)
July 26, 2012 at 7:57 pm
I see what you did there.
July 26, 2012 at 11:33 pm
It’s Ravenctaw, not Ravenclaw!
http://www.dealextreme.com/p/harry-potter-hogwarts-house-metal-pin-badge-set-5-pieces-pack-52710
July 26, 2012 at 7:22 pm
In the description,”Off with there heads” is “Off with they’re heads”. Getting closer…
July 26, 2012 at 8:46 pm
This shop is just filled with “ewww”
http://www.etsy.com/listing/78501000/real-animal-part-skin-taxidermy-frog?ref=v1_other_2
WI. Boomer should count his/her blessings
July 26, 2012 at 10:49 pm
Boomer is getting too much Regretsy coverage: he was just here with his Bull Scrotum Bag. Sorry to disappoint anyone, but yes, Boomer doesn’t sell/ship to WI because some of his supplies are illegal there without irritating licenses & permits and such like. Here, this will make you feel better: not only is a boomer is a big male kangaroo in Oz, but in the houn’ dog patois where I come from, a boomer is a dog penis that’s rarin’ to go to work. Yep, mentally photoshop those images … yer welcome …
July 27, 2012 at 5:47 am
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh – wtf, he signs his listings? Like it’s an email??
July 26, 2012 at 8:48 pm
So, not only does Amazon carry “Hufflepuee”, http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=hufflepuee
They don’t care that it’s bootleg/ripoff merchandise.
“Hello,
I’m sorry to hear about this.
I’ve checked and see that the item (Harry Potter Hufflepuee Necklace) is sold from a third party seller on our website.
Please know that Amazon Marketplace items are sold by individuals or businesses, not by Amazon.com. Because that individual or business processes and ships your order, I’d suggest you to contact the seller directly with any questions regarding this item.
If you’d like to get in touch with a seller before placing an order, follow these steps:
1. Go to the product listing you’re interested in.
2. Click on the seller’s nickname or logo.
3. Click “Contact the seller” in the lower right column of the page.
Please give the seller 2-3 business days to get back to you.”
July 27, 2012 at 5:50 am
In Amazon’s defense (and eBay’s too) – they aren’t “above” things like Etsy tries to be. They also only care if it’s counterfeit – like, say, a purse that’s supposedly Kate Spade, being SOLD as Kate Spade. Even the listing title mis-spells Hufflepuff there….so it’s not like the seller is misrepresenting the item.
July 26, 2012 at 8:54 pm
could WI be…a state maybe? Umm, Wisconsin? I’m not American, but do one of the states have that as an intial? ‘Cause I think the seller is signing off with the Boomer bit.
July 26, 2012 at 9:33 pm
Yeah, WI is the postal code for Wisconsin. For whatever reason, the seller says they won’t ship there (prob violates some stupid WI state law.), then signs off with Boomer. It looks a little weird the way they stated it, but I think it’s still clear to most folks. At least most Americans.
July 27, 2012 at 5:51 am
Apparently, he dislikes placing 2 spaces after a period. Asshat.
July 26, 2012 at 10:35 pm
I read that as FART COCK and giggled maniacally like a 12 yr old for almost 5 minutes. The cats are now scared of me.
Yes, it’s been a long day and all it took was one good fart cock to tip me over into a hysterical giggle fit.
July 26, 2012 at 11:30 pm
I saw cock and dead and thought necrophilia. How terribly Luddite to me. I had no idea they were talking about the restful sleep of the beautiful and lusty firt cock ghosts.
July 26, 2012 at 11:30 pm
*of* me. Oh dear… I think the Benadryl kicked in.
July 27, 2012 at 1:55 pm
I love benadryl. Only problem with it is, if I was typing after a dose, it would look like this: apdrivnhksvhv h bqa ahhhhhhh
because I would have passed out on the keyboard.
July 27, 2012 at 10:34 pm
drunk/and/or Benedryl spelling, I’m ok with. (to a point, when I remove my laptop from my vicinity.) But my grammar sucks because I forget to correct myself as my speech teacher taught me and make up a string of phrases that sounds like a Chinese reseller.
July 26, 2012 at 11:32 pm
Oh lawd that Hufflepuee charm. Those were originally from DealExtreme and came in a set of 4:
http://www.dealextreme.com/p/harry-potter-hogwarts-house-metal-pin-badge-set-5-pieces-pack-52710
Reavenctaw is way, way cooler than Hufflepuee. Just sayin’.
July 27, 2012 at 5:14 am
make sure when you purchase your lifegaurd pillow, you pick up one of these for your newly-wed friends – Mister and MissIs http://www.etsy.com/transaction/84123686
hurry this one has already sold!
July 27, 2012 at 7:51 am
I plain on bying all of these itims and storying them in my chester drawers next to my bocks of jewery.
July 27, 2012 at 8:53 am
great. just great. first, i keep getting Hufflepuff no matter what online Sorting Hat test i take. and now i find out i’m in Hufflepuee. sighs.
so where’s the Syltherine and Graffendoor pendants?
July 28, 2012 at 8:39 am
Be grateful. You could be getting Super Mario Huff N Puff.
July 27, 2012 at 10:12 am
I totally got that Tippr deal the other day and seriously considered getting the “breath” necklace.
July 28, 2012 at 3:34 am
Another reseller!
http://www.pandawill.com/harry-potter-hufflepuee-crest-metal-key-chain-limited-edition-p40433.html