Dharampreet Ravinderpal on line 1
Tired of sending thoughtful gifts that your friends actually enjoy receiving?
Why not send a singing telegram from TajTunes?
For only $6.99, you can send a thoroughly awful singing telegram to anyone you choose. Poorly written, badly sung and completely indecipherable, TajTunes are a triple threat!
Here’s a sample from the “Congratulations” collection:
Who knew cookies were such a big part of Indian culture? That must be why those rats are always drinking milk in the temples.
And would you look at the expression on that poor bastard’s face? I think he’s feeling around for the sturdiest part of the tree to throw the rope over so he can hang himself.
Isn’t that fantastic? They’ll even make an mp3 of the whole thing and email it to you, so you can hear your horrified friend trying to get off the phone so they drive over to your house and shit in your gas tank.
Still not convinced?
Then how about this special message for a valuable employee?
I THINK I FOUND YOUR NEW RINGTONE
And if you think that’s depressing, I have more bad news for you. I found this site 5 years ago, and I still sing this fucking song at least once a week to anyone who will listen. Enjoy!
TajTunes also offers birthday greetings, messages of love, get well soon and lots more! Head on over and enjoy the selection.
You won’t be sari!
July 24, 2012 at 10:43 am
This makes me not ever want to do a super duper job.
July 24, 2012 at 10:52 am
Are you kidding? I could totally stand to get one of these from my employer. It would give me more reason to provide sarcastic commentary on what a super duper job THEY do of making us feel appreciated.
Also, it’s just hysterical.
July 24, 2012 at 10:58 am
I’d love to get one, but only if it called me Recipient’s Name.
July 24, 2012 at 11:11 am
Oh it IS hysterical. To be honest, I generally never want to do a super duper job
July 24, 2012 at 11:59 am
Super Duper Job. Not even once.
July 24, 2012 at 5:17 pm
I’d rather get a crappy rappy song for my super duper job.
July 24, 2012 at 10:45 am
‘Taj’ is actually a slang term for a small dick here. I wonder if they have a song for that?
July 24, 2012 at 11:00 am
“Subpar, Subpar Knob”?
July 24, 2012 at 11:33 am
Subpar, subpar knob,
you will never get it on,
Subpar, subpar knob,
because you have a little dong?
Hey, that was as crap as the real ones…
July 24, 2012 at 10:46 am
I can’t believe Dror has been outsourced.
July 24, 2012 at 10:47 am
Okay, now this whole outsourcing-jobs-to-India-thing has really gone too far. I wonder, if you have a technical problem, who do you call?
July 24, 2012 at 11:04 am
Some lady in Nebraska who pretends her name is Rajiv.
July 25, 2012 at 3:55 am
Indian Ghostbusters http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl4eJfTs_EA
July 24, 2012 at 10:48 am
The congrats song sounds like it was sung by Larry the Cucumber.
July 25, 2012 at 7:45 pm
They weren’t allowed to do the Cheeseburger song.
July 24, 2012 at 10:49 am
There’s a lot of people who will soon regret having given me their phone number.
July 25, 2012 at 5:17 am
NOT ME.
July 26, 2012 at 7:56 pm
That was the fucking best thing ever! Especially since I was in a crowded public place when the call came in.
July 25, 2012 at 1:46 pm
My brother just got his TajTune. This was his response:
“KATAY WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO”
July 24, 2012 at 10:51 am
If my boss EVER told me (or sung me) “you’ve done a super duper job”, I would quit on the spot and possibly burn the place down. Even in this economy.
July 24, 2012 at 10:56 am
That’s what my employer does for us in lieu of bonuses, raises, and job security.
“Congratulations! We’re going to keep paying you. For now. Here is a song about a cookie!”
July 24, 2012 at 11:09 am
No—two cookies! Hell, Matt, here’s the whole batch!
(My mind went to another verse that used “snatch,” but my mind got squicked out and came back.)
July 24, 2012 at 11:44 am
In a woodshop like where I work, those kinds of dorky/corny expressions are not well received. I am not very typical of the type that does my job.
July 25, 2012 at 1:02 am
I think this is the third time in two days I’ve seen someone use the word “squick”. But as a former denizen of alt.tasteless, I can’t get used to seeing it in with the meaning you’re using instead of the one used there.
July 25, 2012 at 8:59 am
Midnight Rambler, I’ve been here a long time and if I’ve learned one thing, it’s don’t click on the links in Regretsy.
I first saw “squick” used on Regretsy and I’ve always and only used it in the context as I used it above.
So, whatever other meaning “squick” has shall remain alien to my blissful ignorance.
In other words, I’m really, really scared and don’t want to know what else it means. My imagination is vivid as it is and I have to stop it from going to deep dark places even without a guiding link.
July 24, 2012 at 11:25 am
July 24, 2012 at 10:53 am
I’m certain the lyrics were lifted from a porn romance and a few of the words were simply replaced — cock for cookie, job for blow job, etc. — to save money on an actual special- greetings copywriter. Brilliant.
July 24, 2012 at 11:10 am
That theory might explain the music.
July 24, 2012 at 2:38 pm
Music? You actually heard MUSIC??
July 24, 2012 at 10:54 am
Seven. Bucks.
I can’t decide if this is sad or brilliant.
Oh wait – yes I can. I wonder if they’re hiring?
July 24, 2012 at 10:55 am
Can I say thank you for brightening up our day at work…. my co-workers and were literally crying listening to some of these. And of course plotting who we might send them too.
July 24, 2012 at 10:56 am
oh and err I meant to say we were laughing so hard we were crying…
July 24, 2012 at 10:58 am
I think either way works.
July 26, 2012 at 1:17 pm
OH GOD I KNOW WHAT MY BOYFRIEND IS GETTING FOR A SURPRISE NOW!
July 24, 2012 at 10:57 am
That “Congrats: Cookies” song would be so awesome if it was performed by Ween.
July 24, 2012 at 8:33 pm
You’re so right!
July 24, 2012 at 10:57 am
I can’t believe HK has been holding out on us with this gem for five whole years. That’s like, an eternity, with a secret this good.
July 24, 2012 at 11:11 am
I forum time it is an eternity. Super, duper job, HK!
July 24, 2012 at 4:03 pm
HK deserves some kind of delayed gratification award certificate for waiting 5 years to share this …
July 24, 2012 at 6:18 pm
Makes me wonder what else she’s keeping from us..
July 25, 2012 at 9:02 am
So, Parentheses, by nature of your screen name, everything you say is parenthetical. OR SHOULD BE.
July 24, 2012 at 10:58 am
I love the way the woman sings/says “cookies”!
July 24, 2012 at 10:59 am
She sound kooky when she says “cookies”…
July 24, 2012 at 9:17 pm
Coo!kies will haunt my dreams.
July 24, 2012 at 10:58 am
Those songs were so beautiful, they gave me the Shivas!
July 24, 2012 at 11:12 am
Hindubitably!
July 24, 2012 at 11:19 am
I Vishnu hadn’t gone there.
July 24, 2012 at 11:31 am
Gone where? To Kali?
July 24, 2012 at 12:35 pm
Namaste outta this…
July 24, 2012 at 12:44 pm
This thread is starting to make me feel sikh.
July 24, 2012 at 3:07 pm
Just one Punjab after the other.
July 24, 2012 at 4:44 pm
That was super duper.
July 24, 2012 at 4:54 pm
*waits for cookies*
July 24, 2012 at 10:59 am
I haven’t listened to these yet, but I’m reading the Super Duper Job song to the tune of Lady Gaga’s Poker face.
July 24, 2012 at 11:22 am
Trust me, your way is much better!
July 24, 2012 at 2:39 pm
You got that right. MUCH better!
July 24, 2012 at 3:21 pm
I couldn’t believe someone could make me suffer twice by using this super duper thing, but here it is.
July 24, 2012 at 11:00 am
Super-Duper Job sounds like it’s being talk-sung by a sedated Punjabi Mr. Rogers. Resilient!
July 24, 2012 at 11:01 am
Are you kidding me? THIS IS THE COOLEST THING EVER! I would feel like the most loved woman in the world if someone sent me one of these. I now know what to do for my sister’s birthday next month!
July 24, 2012 at 8:07 pm
I am guessing you didn’t press the “play” button HK provided, and actually heard them …?
July 25, 2012 at 10:25 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 24, 2012 at 11:02 am
Well, goodness gracious, how audacious!
That would make my heart go boom diddy boom boom, boom diddy boom boom, boom diddy boom boom, boom, boom, boom.
Goodness, gracious me.
July 24, 2012 at 11:11 am
You make my heart go all a-flutter, Ms. Nutter!
July 24, 2012 at 3:38 pm
Goodness, gracious, how flirtatious!
From New Delhi To Darjeeling
i Have Done My Share Of Healing,
and I’ve Never Yet Been Beaten Or Outboxed,
i Remember That With One Jab
of My Needle In The Punjab
how I Cleared Up Beriberi
and The Dreaded Dysentery,
but Your Complaint Has Got Me Really Foxed.
July 24, 2012 at 11:03 am
Totally going to order Birthday Rap for my brother. It’s your birthday, yo.
July 24, 2012 at 11:07 am
Now, after every poop and get up to flush. I will be saluting and singing….
SUPER DUPER JOB!
SUPER DUPER JOB!
You gave it all you got!
And you did a Super Duper Job!
July 24, 2012 at 11:29 am
I have a friend whose family (all 8 of them, and Catholic) would watch him as a lad trying to potty train and tell him that he did a Super Job when he made it to the toilet. Weird.
July 24, 2012 at 2:03 pm
Didn’t that set him up for a lifetime of disappointment? He’ll expect applause every time.
July 24, 2012 at 8:16 pm
Entitlement: it begins with applauding the most basic skills required for civilized interaction.
July 24, 2012 at 12:06 pm
I’m litter-training a kitten, and when she goes in the box, I tell her she’s a SUPER POOPER. I’m going to sing her the SUPER DUPER JOB song from now on.
July 25, 2012 at 2:38 am
People wonder why their cats wind up crapping in their shoes…..
July 24, 2012 at 11:10 am
“Poorly written, badly sung and completely indecipherable”
I’m going to have to disagree with you there. I think they did a super duper job.
July 24, 2012 at 11:13 am
That first photo looks like Bruce Campbell. He is a strange and wondrous person, in any case.
July 24, 2012 at 11:14 am
Damn, I still haven’t gotten used to my new and not improved avatar. I saw this and thought, “Wow, someone else came up with the exact same idea!”
July 24, 2012 at 11:23 am
Gimme some sugar, baby!
July 24, 2012 at 11:40 am
It looks like a meth-addled avatar. Hollow pupils, no teeth, confused expression.
July 24, 2012 at 12:08 pm
Or like someone who reached into a jar of pickles expecting a gerkin and got a baby dill instead.
July 24, 2012 at 1:04 pm
That sounds like my last date.
July 24, 2012 at 1:32 pm
(rimshot)
I know, the drums have been beat on enough, but it’s okay- I’m a drummer, I can say that.
July 24, 2012 at 12:42 pm
I work with Bruce Campbell’s neighbor. True story.
(I’m your father’s brother’s cousin’s former roommate!)
July 24, 2012 at 3:40 pm
…and this is my BOOMSTICK!
July 24, 2012 at 11:21 am
I actually have a friend who got one of these for his birthday from his brother several years ago!! The birthday song is HILARIOUS!!! He has kept the message for all these years and when he upgraded to a new phone, he forwarded the message to all of his friends so the song would remain forever.
July 24, 2012 at 11:24 am
My sister-in-law gave birth today and I just know this is EXACTLY what she will want to hear after 15 hours of labor, with a screaming newborn on her tit. I’m ordering RIGHT NOW.
July 24, 2012 at 1:01 pm
You are the hero of sisters-in-law everywhere.
July 24, 2012 at 11:35 am
If I pay extra will they put it inside a musical card?
July 24, 2012 at 11:43 am
This one is actually performed by the Indian Boy Band…
We’ve been together for some time now
We’ve seen each other cry and laugh out loud
And through it all I’m glad I got to say
I love you in so many ways
I fell in love with you so long ago
Sometimes I think that I have always known
You’d be the one who greets me every day
That’s why today I want to say… Happy Anniversary
Wow, what a lovely sentiment. All the way from India.
July 24, 2012 at 11:48 am
Actually, the Cookies song sounds exactly like it’s sung by Regina Spekter.
Especially that cookies chorus.
it’s brilliant!
I’ll order it and tell people I got Regina to send them a singing telegram.
July 24, 2012 at 11:56 am
See Exhibit 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjEEp061Zxw
July 24, 2012 at 12:00 pm
Thank you for the super duper song, April.
July 24, 2012 at 12:02 pm
Rgh, “thank you” appeared properly in comic sans in the preview, which internet god intervened to save readers from blinding?
July 24, 2012 at 12:31 pm
This is what I want to hear next time I call customer service.
July 24, 2012 at 2:43 pm
I’m pretty sure it is a customer service department, picking up a few extra bucks on the side. Except most customer service reps I’ve ever reached are way more melodious.
July 25, 2012 at 1:08 am
It’s what you’re going to hear when you’re on hold with customer service, playing on a loop over and over and over…
July 24, 2012 at 12:39 pm
I am never sending a lame birthday card again! These are truly the most fantastically awful things ever.
July 24, 2012 at 12:55 pm
The cookies song is confusing. If someone sent that to me I’d be expecting a batch of fresh-baked cookies to arrive shortly afterward.
July 24, 2012 at 1:01 pm
Want to really give me a gift? Give me all of the cookies, any of the Avengers in costume, and quit with the fucking awful singing.
July 24, 2012 at 6:34 pm
I always wanted to be Diana Rigg, didn’t happen….oh, not those Avengers? Whoops, sorry, my age is showing.
BTW, don’t you think these would make great drinking songs? I’d love to see my aunt singing that Cookie song after a night of shooting back Crouching Tigers.
July 24, 2012 at 1:11 pm
Super Duper Job really upset my dog.
July 24, 2012 at 8:15 pm
My dog liked it after we rewrote the lyrics to suit his ego:
Super duper dog
Super duper dog
Emcee Popo is a pro-po
My furry funny hero
Super duper dog
Super duper dog
You held it in ’til I got home
And didn’t piss on the carpet
July 24, 2012 at 8:35 pm
I so desperately want to see the doggie smile that goes along with hearing his very own theme song. All the internets if he dances around in place, all excited-like, or wags so hard that his whole butt shakes.
July 24, 2012 at 9:23 pm
I am so pleased just imagining this.
July 24, 2012 at 1:13 pm
This is a BARGAIN! Way cheaper than other options out there (ahem, Hollywood is Calling, ahem). If I’d used this, I could have saved the $20 I spent to have Christopher Atkins wish my friend a happy birthday! I mean, MY FRIEND could have saved that money. . .
July 24, 2012 at 2:17 pm
The guy with the microphone looks like Erik Estrada. I hope he is one of the vocalists. I would commission a piece about Arkansas timeshares.
July 24, 2012 at 3:03 pm
So I listened to the songs, went to some other sites, and realized 20 minutes later that “Super Duper Job” has been repeating in my head this whole time. How do I make it stop?!
July 24, 2012 at 3:43 pm
I’m wondering the same thing, a few hours after hearing it. Via bullet, I suppose.
July 25, 2012 at 9:22 am
The only way to stop an earworm is to replace it with another (hoepfully less annoying) earworm. Maybe the congratulations/cookie song?
I once had the Velveeta cheese jingle stuck in my head for 3 days. Not a good thing.
July 25, 2012 at 9:23 am
hopefully – derp.
July 27, 2012 at 1:25 pm
3 days later and I still have COOKIE!!!! in mine
July 24, 2012 at 3:36 pm
DAMMIT! It’s 3 hours to dinner and now I WANT COOKIES! Now I’m not going to do a Super Duper job at work!
July 24, 2012 at 3:40 pm
My fiancee’ graduates on Thursday…SOLD.
July 24, 2012 at 3:59 pm
What luck! I just bought one for my roommate whose birthday is TOMORROW.
July 24, 2012 at 4:15 pm
So, how many Regretsians are going to send TajTunes Cupid’s Arrow song next Valentines day?
LYRICS:
I needed to send a Valentine right away (right away)
To make someone special smile on Valentine’s Day (Valentine’s Day)
I told Cupid to aim for who I had in mind, Oh…
So his arrow is making its way to your behind
Cards and hearts and candy
Are gifts that are too ordinary
Oh I hope that this valentine is your favorite one
Whether you have a million or if you have none
’cause cupid’s arrow is special just like you,
(Recipient’s Name), Happy Valentine’s Day to you!
July 24, 2012 at 4:52 pm
Bum ba rah rum bum bahhhh!
Hey you on Etsy
Check out Regretsy
You got served some butthurt
Okay, maybe two!*
Call out the lawyer
He won’t ignore ya
Scream, act out and shout
Then go and sulk and pout
So, Etsian, “Congrats!”
Your vile creation
Has grossed out whole nations
Was this an exercise in mental masturbation?
But you still got cupcakes
Smell those cupcakes
A bunch of real flakes
That makes our brains ache
Gimme an “F”!!!
Gimme a “J”!!!
Gimme an “L”!!!
*one for each cheek.
July 24, 2012 at 5:17 pm
Just bought Birthday Superstar for my nephew’s birthday tomorrow. Perfect timing!
July 24, 2012 at 5:49 pm
I actually got one of these a few years ago, the cookie song in fact. I need new friends…
July 24, 2012 at 6:33 pm
This is my favorite one, I think I’ll send it to someone the next time I fart in front of them.
http://www.tajtunes.com/mybad.html
July 27, 2012 at 1:32 pm
OHOH CANITAKEITBACK,CANITAKEITBACK?!
July 24, 2012 at 6:35 pm
Damn, Why didn’t I use this instead of my wedding invitations? http://www.tajtunes.com/partyinvite.html
July 24, 2012 at 7:16 pm
JFC, I’d only use that service to fire someone or break up with a boyfriend who cheated on me with a goat.
July 24, 2012 at 7:20 pm
“Hey, Triscuits, thanks so much for working all weekend to get those figures ready for publication. Instead of a raise or a bonus or what have you, we got you this Indian guy singing(?) about what a great job you did!”
“…wait, what do you mean, ‘I quit’?”
July 25, 2012 at 1:25 am
I can almost see this worked in a PhDComic…
July 24, 2012 at 7:51 pm
I’d be all over this If it came with an order of chicken tikki masala and gulab jamun!!
July 27, 2012 at 1:31 pm
stop making me hungry!
July 24, 2012 at 8:21 pm
I just sent 12 to some of my employees. This is the best freaking thing ever.
July 24, 2012 at 8:53 pm
Ok, I just played this really loud on my compy and it woke up the hubby from his nap and he is now yelling its the worst thing he has ever heard. I am making his ring tone when I call him as soon as I can steal his phone away from him
July 25, 2012 at 1:28 am
Lolcattus, what is this zibbet thing?! I didn’t know about it.
July 24, 2012 at 9:25 pm
OMG you guys I just looked at the date and realized IT’S MY WEDDING ANNIVERSARY TODAY. I didn’t know what I’d have done if I hadn’t known about this!
REGRETSY YOU SAVED MY MARRIAGE FOR SERIOUS.
July 24, 2012 at 10:46 pm
ummmm…you will let us know what the divorce lawyer says when he calls you tomorrow morning, right?
July 25, 2012 at 9:35 am
He says and I quote:
“Super duper job!
I have a super duper job!”
July 27, 2012 at 1:34 pm
I recommend the one where they’re singing in harmony, lol
http://www.tajtunes.com/anniversary.html
July 24, 2012 at 10:43 pm
I want one for my birthday.
from each and every one of you.
July 25, 2012 at 1:24 am
You can’t handle it.
July 25, 2012 at 4:34 am
…anyone still have the phone list for PayPal management?
July 25, 2012 at 9:01 am
^^^THIS!!!^^^
July 25, 2012 at 5:19 am
At first, I thought “This can’t be real”.
But now, having read the entire post, all I can think of is “My husband’s birthday is in a month!”
July 25, 2012 at 9:15 am
I instantly thought of the fish vendor who sing-songs about his “veddy veddy fresh, veddy veddy cheap, veddy veddy good fish”. “One pound veddy fresh” Oh no, I can’t stop.
I saw him on a travel show; he might be in a British street market, I can’t remember now.
July 26, 2012 at 11:21 am
Just bought one for my sister’s birthday next Monday, and a “Super-Duper Job” for my co-worker. Looking forward to their reactions!
July 26, 2012 at 1:22 pm
I’d comment, but my lungs hurt from laughing too hard.
July 26, 2012 at 2:52 pm
Sending “Oops My Bad” to my boss. Wish I could customize the song to reflect I’m apologizing for showing up hung over last Monday.
July 27, 2012 at 1:28 pm
I like how in some of these they’re not even keeping up the pretext of attempting to sing a song.
July 27, 2012 at 2:59 pm
You guys really should listen to the “My team is better than yours” one.
http://www.tajtunes.com/bethyo.html
September 14, 2012 at 8:48 am
I had to stop listening because I’m crying so hard. Super duper job