This is the greatest idea since the Jack Daniels dispenser in the glove compartment.
Darn. With this thing in my car, how will I be able to honk at yahoos who aren’t paying attention to the rode while I catch up on episodes of Downton Abbey on Netflix or play angry birds while flying down the inner-state at 80mph????
I was so distracted by the fun I could have with this that I used the wrong form of the word road! Gah!
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
But were you distracted enough to realize you spent about $1000 on inferior, excessively proprietary products from Apple?
I’m sorry about the Zune thing, man.
My Zune works just great, thank you very much.
I see a lawsuit on someone’s horizon…
Apparently, there are people who feel that having a device that can handle Flash is over-rated.
Seriously – I swear there’s hipsters who google for negative Apple commentary and just swoop in and thumb that shit down. Too many FJLs are broke, so I can’t imagine they’d be able to afford Apple shit…
Fuck it, man… you don’t have to afford Apple shit anymore. That stuff’s become so commonplace that iPhones and iPods are falling out of people’s pockets on a regular basis. Gal I know found an 8GB iPod Nano in the gutter at the bus stop and her daughter found a full blown 32GB iPhone less than a week later on the side of the road.
If anyone has to get the; “gutter is where it belonged in the first place” out of their system, do so now.
well, all the new android devices won’t have flash support either, sad….
“*** NOTE: FLASH PLAYER IS NO LONGER BEING UPDATED FOR NEW DEVICE CONFIGURATIONS. FLASH PLAYER WILL NOT BE SUPPORTED ON ANY ANDROID VERSION BEYOND ANDROID 4.0.x ***”
I’m waiting for jelly bean update, but that means flash might not support my device no more.
Maybe it’s just my computer on the fritz but I’ve never seen a comment rated so low that I can’t view it, even by clicking on the “Click here to see” link. And by the way, hiding the down-rated comments is the best way to ensure that I will read them because deep down I’m still the fat, friendless loser that can’t bear to be left out of what’s going on. Even if everyone else has decided that it sucks.
I had to re-login to have “click here to see” work.
understandable mistake, just keep your eyes on the road.
Better yet is you wrote “inner-state” instead of “interstate”. Which actually makes sense as is!
wolfpackfan: You need to download the iHorn app.
that was my first thought too – I won’t be able to honk anymore on the plus side, I could offer an unemployed member of the public a job as a honker
But can you also breastfeed your twins while driving, texting and ‘padding?
Not to mention porn and road head. Multi-tasking has never been so streamlined.
Streaming porn? Come on, my Ipad?
I guess if you weren’t careful, you could get cum on your iPad.
Getoffmylawn — the damage a single comma can do
People don’t mention the wonders of “road head” enough, in my opinion.
Get me in your car and I’ll do more than just mention it, baby…
My car has a cassette tape of hillbilly chase music stuck in it, so that will have to be our “porn music”, ok?
“Dukes of Hazzard” seems appropriate here.
Lucky for you I have a CAR – HOME – iPad – iPhone Stand – Steering Wheel Table so we can play actual porn & use it for ideas. I also have that Jack Daniels glove compartment dispenser for fortification, in case we lose our nerve/ develop common sense.
Matt, have you checked that cassette lately? It may be the Best of Queen by now.
And I hate my new avatar. It came up randomly and doesn’t look anything like me. I miss my old smiling, monocled self. I had teeth then, too.
Getting old’s a bitch, Mugsy Doodle. I remember when my head wasn’t so triangular and I could open my eyes.
Of course it’s Best of Queen. It’s been in the car more than two weeks.
I miss my Velvet Underground tape.
Is it Dueling Banjos?
Oh, wait, that’s buttsex music.
I knew a woman who used to read Harlequin paperback romance novels while she drove around. She’s in her 70′s now, still driving. Need to send her a link to this, bet she’ll love it.
Those in St. Cloud may want to relocate.
‘padding, hehe. I didn’t make the correlation to the iPad til 25 seconds ago.
Oooh, now I can really start selling my “Airbag Disabler” so’s everyone can protect their iJunk in the event of a crash.
I totally want protection for my iJunk. Can I get a crotch-bag airbag? Can my spouse get an air curtain for her meat curtain?
Information Superhighway IRL
What’s so awesome about it is that it can give you “real-time” road condition updates.
You know, rather than just looking at the road, which is complicated and confusing.
…and check out imdb.com for info on the movie you’re watching on the overhead DVD screen.
“SIRI, call an ambulance”
“I’ll call an ambulance immediately. Also, I’ll reroute your drive home. Apparently there has been an accident on the street you are traversing”
It’s always good to see the Darwin Awards product line.
Sadly, these people are usually the ones that live. The ones that don’t make it are the poor people they hit.
What’s to keep your devices from sliding off the steering wheel if you have to navigate your vehicle through a gentle curve in the highway?
Don’t turn, duh. You’re so important the road will straighten before you.
well, if you’re so important, wouldn’t you ‘copter in? no need for this thingy then – unless you can maybe attach it downwards from your pilot’s helmet?
straighten the road ahead of you, there will be an app for that in 2013, iRoad
I’m assuming you’re steering with your knees so you can touch the screen. That also leaves your hands free to hold the items.
i wonder if any well endowed women will try to use iphone/ipad with their nips, whoever can do it will be the master of multitasking.
Not intentionally much of the time. The things my boobs type are even more disturbing than when the cats or dogs walk on the keyboard.
No, not bragging at all, in fact if you want the things THEY ARE YOURS! Just send me the address of your preferred transplant surgeon. I will want to keep the nips, though. Just on a “P!nk size chest” verses the damn things there now. Had ‘em around 34 years now, someone else can have them.
WTF? No mirror for putting on make-up? That’s bullshit!
Couldn’t you just use the camera on the front?
Well duh, that’s what that nifty mirror in the middle of your windshield is for! Why else would they put it there?
I thought you’re supposed to use the one on your sun-visor.
Waaaaaiiiit, how would you use this inside your home or office? Do people have steering wheels other places that I’m not thinking of (video game controllers aside)?
well, if you use this thing, your 2011 Subaru might end up in your home/office…
Depends, … do you park your car in your living room?
This is obviously for people who are living in their cars, but have an iPad and iPhone.
Don’t laugh, I’m heading that way. I might have been able to keep my house if I hadn’t bought the iPad and the iPhone.
Life’s little ironies that I still haven’t figured out.
I know the feeling. Not about the iPad, just the part about having gotten the foreclosure notice on the house.
It was an up-thumb of sympathy, not an up-thumb of your losing your house.
I’m lucky (?) enough to still be living at home– I make $100 a week and my medical bills are about $275 a month, I know how it is, truly. Good luck, sweetheart. Things will work out somehow.
That’s an up-thumb of sympathy, not an up-thumb of mocking your loss.
Kinda figured, and thanks. It’s my own fault, really, for insisting that my youngest son’s eye surgery and ongoing autism/OCD/Tourette’s therapies and medications come before anything else. Silly me.
Oh, sweetie- we just have to keep hoping that one day something’s going to be done about health care in this country (Lord knows there’s only one country we could be talking about)…I myself make $100 a week with monthly medical bills pushing $275, so I’m VERY living at home with just over a year to find insurance…I’ll be lucky to be out of my parents’ house before I’m 30. I understand completely and my heart goes out to you and your family.
You clearly know what matters– hang tight to it and the rest will work itself out.
I’ve repurposed an old kiddie car seat with the steering wheel (a la Maggie Simpson’s) into a Regretsy reading chair. Keeps me from ROFLing and injuring myself. SQUEEK! SQUEEK!
I suppose if you use the phone camera to project a little window in a corner of the tablet of the view out the windshield, you can watch your porn safely while driving.
We apparently define “safely” very differently.
You still using that dictionary that R.J. Reynolds put out?
Here in Canada, between frolicking with our unicorns and riding sleighs over the frozen tundra, we sometimes make legislation. In Alberta, specifically (it’s like Texas, but north) we just put in a law against distracted driving, which includes cellphone use behind the wheel. I can only imagine this fuckery would get you a double-fine or something.
However, it would be great for keeping track of Twitter and Facebook simultaneously–then there would be time to put on makeup, too!
Yeah, we’ve got the same law in some states down here too, but the cops on patrol are too busy playing WoW to notice…
Or doing this http://imgur.com/W5psB
I think ours isn’t a distraction law, its just we can’t text message while driving.
But I never text message while watching Weeds on Netflix on my iPad, so it wouldn’t apply here.
That thing’s got nothing on my Steering Wheel Loom (patent pending).
My Easy-Bake Steering Wheel was an idea ahead of its time, as well. So many missed opportunities in my life…
You’ve still got time for your George Foreman Steering Wheel grill idea…
My Where’s Waldo? Steering Wheel Activity Book sold moderately well in the 16-17 demographic. My Where’s Matlock? version sold very well in the 79-99 demographic.
No, no, no! The grease will drip into someone’s lap, and you’ll be sued because they aren’t smart enough to realize meat drippings are hot.
Wait….maybe we could remove a few people from the gene pool this way.
That would go great with my Steering Wheel Pincushion and Knitting Needle Holder. We should join forces and create a line of Darwin Brand (TM) products for Crafters on the Go!
The Steering Wheel Spinning Wheel, As Seen On TV.
Yup. Court TV.
I’ll bet Microsoft is behind this – they have to reduce Apple’s customer base somehow.
They might try selling a decent product for a change?
I see some wasted space at the bottom that could hold a scanner/copier.
Why would you want the scanner so close to your crotch? Oh wait, I see.
For the drunken “in-car office party” where everyone copies their junk.
It would make sexting easier.
I like “saxting”. It’s like sexting, only on a fax machine.
If they could somehow work in a latte machine and a toilet, this would really be the perfect car-home-office device.
in college and in a nearby town someone was busted with a crack pipe installed in the dashboard. might as well go for it i guess.
It’s kind of like how Volkswagon Beetles have flower vases.
You’ll get to find out just how hard your Hard Drive really is!
You’ll really learn the meaning of RAM.
“Siri, jerk the wheel sharply to the left, slam on the brakes, honk the horn and scream “What the fuck is wrong with you, idiot!’ out the window. Oh wait, roll down the window first – fail.
It was the best $10.99 I ever spent. I bought one for my driver Toonces and he just loves it…
Toonces, the original catastrophe.
Imagine the fun and games after the cops have scraped you up off the pavement, you’ve been planted for that long dirt nap and your relatives decide to sue the Einstein that created and sold this to you.
Hm…I wonder if we could take this shelf back to the drawing board, and account for Princess Buzzkill’s trouble-shooting with the sliding issue.
Clearly, we should cut holes in the centre of the steering wheel and add some sliding drawers! We could even put clothespins on the edges of the drawers to hold things in place! Let me get my glue gun and glitter! Does anyone have some rustic muslin we can wrap this shit in?
You are about 17 watch parts, 1 brass octopus and a Stirling engine away from Steampunking this shit!
Didja check out the entire listing? Not only do they sell this handy device but also a steering wheel table with a cup holder so you can dine properly on your drive through meal and not just suck it out of a paper wrapper.
I think it’s the same device, but installed the other way. Truly, you can use multipurpose!
No how do I add a pic, now that I look like a jerkwad noob? lol
Dear God, as if I didn’t see enough horror on my morning commute! OH THE HUMANITY
Based on how shitty traffic was when I lived there, I predict the city of Atlanta will immediately issue one of these to all commuters. At best, it will slow ‘em down a little; at worst, well. . .I don’t know that ATL drivers could get more distracted than they already are.
one of their other listings is featured in two non-ironic treasuries. oh dear.
This one sold by the same seller comes with a cup holder. At least the description on that one says to use it while parked.
Not legal in all states. Not responsible for any accidents that may result from usage of product. Not responsible for any damage to electronics resulting from aforementioned accident. Not responsible for any traffic citations that may result from use of product. Not responsible for your own idiocy. Obviously, we’re not responsible at all for making and selling such an idiotic product.
“Call me.. irresponsible..”
- Nat King Cole
Wait..you have a Jack Daniels dispenser in the glove compartment? I have mine located much closer so I don’t have to lean over. It’s called -the 7-11 thirst buster cup filled with Jack sitting in the center console cup holder.
Wow, you have extra large squared-off cup holders? Cool! I still have to wear bandoliers loaded with those miniatures you get on the airlines.
Both of you need to invest in a beer hat… or for more stealthy alcoholic venture… one of those water backpacks for biking.
Well thank god. My boobs were developing a calus from holding my iPad against the stearing wheel so I could facebook on my morning commute.
Not only is this obviously darwin-brand, but they went the extra mile by making sure all your shit will fall off when you turn the steering wheel. At least one company out there isn’t lowering their product standards.
Reminds me of one lady I know that prays while driving, as in, she bowed her head closed her eyes and prayed while the vehicle was in motion.
And then it wouldn’t suprised me if people masturbated while driving either, I mean, it just wouldn’t surprised me… it seriously wouldn’t, I mean, with all of the crazy things I saw on this site, I know that anything is possible and nothing is sacred.
JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL.
It needs to come with a bumper sticker warning others that the driver is an idiot.
Check out the family garage and take out the door-mount tray from the drive-in burger joint that your folks were too embarrassed to return when they drove off with it. You save $10.99!!
Wow. If only it came with free blackout windshield shades so you won’t be distracted by all the pesky traffic around you it would be perfect.
I might actually buy this. I spend way too much time working in my car (while parked!), and it is very awkward to figure out where to put the laptop/tablet. In fact, I might get one of these for a couple of my co-workers too…
Clearly this is for those of us who spend a lot of time doing work in our cars while parked. My car is my office during the day. While parked.
I’m gonna go ahead and be the boring person who points out that steering-wheel tables are actually a legit product aimed mostly at people like driving instructors and traveling salespeople who do paperwork in their car. However, the demographics of Etsy do little to convince me that there will not be at least a couple of people who think this is a great way to enjoy ironic music videos while on the move…
I spend a half hour on an awesome BSoD screen making fun of the asshole who thought this up, and lost it. Because I used MS motherfucking paint.
So, just imagine something witty with lots of invectives, because the fucker’s not worth a beta once I’ve described it. My Norco hasn’t kicked in enough for me to care about this shit.
Total waste of a driver’s side air bag.
Ok, Ok..seems cool enough..but..Can I plug my vibrator into it?
don’t need this for that http://sublimesatisfaction.wordpress.com/2010/09/30/the-car-vibrator-a-rabbit-you-plug-into-your-cigarette-lighter/
But can I plug my vintage vibrator into it?
I’m still waiting for someone to come up with an app that allows drivers to signal when they want to make a turn…. oh wait…
finally, something Rob Liefeld could use
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