A gay friend of mine had beautiful toile wall paper featuring nude Greco-Roman wrestling. (No holds barred, at that.) The details jumped if you were close enough, otherwise, it was just a rather pretty red and white design. I think I want place mats of that, which I’d share.
I’m trying to imagine a combination of “discarded cardboard and paper” that could possibly look worse before it was turned into that, and failing. That’s even with considering options like “used to clean up dog vomit” and “partially digested by a goat”.
My guess: The “discarded paper” consisted entirely of used toilet paper, producing that “Au De Shit” monstrosity. I wonder if it smells like shit…or simply looks like it?
It looks more like dehydrated corn puffs (the cereal) to me underneath a pile of crap… The placemat is cool, that is the item that should be for sale. That looked like it was painful to pass.
That is the most preserved “fossil”/easiest taxidermy” i’ve ever seen.
Also, the yellow part on the underside make it look like it has an eye on the head eye and on the belly. I see the yellow thing in the back, but the picture mislead me a little XD
“Missy’s first foray into the mysterious world of cookery was, to be polite, less than a success. Salvaging what she could, however, with a bit of lacquer and some oddly shaped yellow blobs of dustbunny dung from under the couch, she posted it on Etsy and ordered a pizza, instead.”
- excerpt from ‘Pride, Prejudice, and Paper Maché’
That paper and cardboard could have been recycled and made into toilet paper and become all shitty without the seller having to do anything! And, to WF’s point in #2, there may well have been corn.
I was sort of assuming the cardboard was from a toilet paper tube.
While there have been dark moments with nothing disposable in the stall/room but the empty, mocking tube, it never once crossed my mind to attempt to sell the results.
While we are talking about “passing art”, it is rare to pass artwork that has a calcified shell. You would have to eat the original crustacean whole to do that. Maybe it should have been performance art.
Way to f up the calzone, HELEN. That was all we had for dinner. Either order another or go to the grocery store. AND I BETTER NOT SEE THIS BEDAZZLED ON ETSY.
I wonder if the creator intended to make a horseshoe crab, or if it just ended up looking more like a horseshoe crab than a unicorn (or whatever it was REALLY supposed to be).
I seem to be this shop owner’s only customer — not sure if we drove him off or he ran out of paper and crabs. But I still love the little babushka I bought, on display on my bookcase…
I overcooked a batch of brownies once and they looked just like this! *Fondly remembers throwing them off the apartment balcony at passing cars*
By the way, baked products that hit the charcoal threshold generally need to be driven over by a truck in order to break. I don’t think I’ve burnt anything that badly, before or since those brownies.
July 22, 2012 at 1:32 pm
I’m trying to decide whether or not the placemat contains erotic imagery.
July 22, 2012 at 1:39 pm
Well, I see some prancing feet at the top, a rooster head down at the bottom, and some sort of rodent playing a woodwind next to the tree…
That’s gotta be some sort of furry thing… wait… can it be a furry if it has feathers…
In short. yes, this is probably a placemat you would find on Adam&Eve
July 22, 2012 at 1:40 pm
Ent Smut
July 22, 2012 at 1:41 pm
I’m certain it does. And I want a set of them for the next time my mother-in-law drops by for dinner without warning.
July 22, 2012 at 5:11 pm
A gay friend of mine had beautiful toile wall paper featuring nude Greco-Roman wrestling. (No holds barred, at that.) The details jumped if you were close enough, otherwise, it was just a rather pretty red and white design. I think I want place mats of that, which I’d share.
July 22, 2012 at 7:41 pm
That sounds quite lovely. Do you happen to know where he got it?
July 23, 2012 at 8:19 am
don’t know, but I’ll drop him a line
July 26, 2012 at 8:24 pm
or bowls, for when the Senator and his wife come over
July 22, 2012 at 1:32 pm
Someone had corn for dinner.
July 22, 2012 at 1:34 pm
I’m trying to imagine a combination of “discarded cardboard and paper” that could possibly look worse before it was turned into that, and failing. That’s even with considering options like “used to clean up dog vomit” and “partially digested by a goat”.
July 22, 2012 at 3:26 pm
My guess: The “discarded paper” consisted entirely of used toilet paper, producing that “Au De Shit” monstrosity. I wonder if it smells like shit…or simply looks like it?
July 22, 2012 at 1:35 pm
It looks more like dehydrated corn puffs (the cereal) to me underneath a pile of crap… The placemat is cool, that is the item that should be for sale. That looked like it was painful to pass.
July 22, 2012 at 1:36 pm
Someone spelled “horse crap” with way too many letters and one wrong one.
July 22, 2012 at 1:39 pm
That is the most preserved “fossil”/easiest taxidermy” i’ve ever seen.
Also, the yellow part on the underside make it look like it has an eye on the head eye and on the belly. I see the yellow thing in the back, but the picture mislead me a little XD
July 22, 2012 at 1:39 pm
“Missy’s first foray into the mysterious world of cookery was, to be polite, less than a success. Salvaging what she could, however, with a bit of lacquer and some oddly shaped yellow blobs of dustbunny dung from under the couch, she posted it on Etsy and ordered a pizza, instead.”
- excerpt from ‘Pride, Prejudice, and Paper Maché’
July 22, 2012 at 1:40 pm
Pretty sure there’s more than just discarded paper and cardboard in that crap … er, crab.
July 22, 2012 at 1:44 pm
If I ate cardboard and paper while drinking paint I would ‘create’ something more appealing than that.
July 22, 2012 at 1:50 pm
That paper and cardboard could have been recycled and made into toilet paper and become all shitty without the seller having to do anything! And, to WF’s point in #2, there may well have been corn.
July 22, 2012 at 2:26 pm
I was sort of assuming the cardboard was from a toilet paper tube.
While there have been dark moments with nothing disposable in the stall/room but the empty, mocking tube, it never once crossed my mind to attempt to sell the results.
July 22, 2012 at 1:50 pm
Bummer, ’cause horseshoe crabs are actually really cool. This guy is doing it right:
<img src="http://www.lunaparc.com/images/aquatics/m-34-horseshoecrab34.jpg"
July 22, 2012 at 1:51 pm
Crap. I forgot to close my img tag and it looked fine in preview so I didn’t catch it. *sigh* Wonder if Bronc’ll see this and help a sister out.
July 22, 2012 at 2:28 pm
Well shit. That worked well. Your image is in post #15.
July 22, 2012 at 5:57 pm
Thanks.
July 22, 2012 at 2:02 pm
I’m curious as to exactly how this is “folk-art”… Which traditional crafts involve collecting dog turds, then lovingly sculpting and varnishing them?!
July 22, 2012 at 2:02 pm
While we are talking about “passing art”, it is rare to pass artwork that has a calcified shell. You would have to eat the original crustacean whole to do that. Maybe it should have been performance art.
July 22, 2012 at 2:05 pm
Way to f up the calzone, HELEN. That was all we had for dinner. Either order another or go to the grocery store. AND I BETTER NOT SEE THIS BEDAZZLED ON ETSY.
July 22, 2012 at 2:21 pm
To be fair…it’s a very good representation of a horseshoe crab after the BP oil spill.
July 22, 2012 at 2:27 pm
July 22, 2012 at 2:30 pm
I wonder if the creator intended to make a horseshoe crab, or if it just ended up looking more like a horseshoe crab than a unicorn (or whatever it was REALLY supposed to be).
July 22, 2012 at 2:31 pm
What a piece of shit.
July 22, 2012 at 3:30 pm
you beat me to it. Well played dinolover77!
July 22, 2012 at 3:03 pm
Jesus H. Christ at my prom, if you’re going to make vegan taxidermy, please do it right:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/81859456/belted-kingfisher-megaceryle-alcyon-2011
July 22, 2012 at 3:18 pm
I seem to be this shop owner’s only customer — not sure if we drove him off or he ran out of paper and crabs. But I still love the little babushka I bought, on display on my bookcase…
July 22, 2012 at 3:32 pm
I’ve heard once you have crabs, you rarely run out of them
July 22, 2012 at 4:20 pm
That’s a big one, alright.
July 22, 2012 at 5:05 pm
Bravo!
July 22, 2012 at 6:38 pm
Awesome!
July 22, 2012 at 5:06 pm
Oh, dear me… I think the doctor has a cream for that.
July 22, 2012 at 6:08 pm
July 22, 2012 at 6:58 pm
Dammit Jim, I’m a doctor, not a vajazzler!
July 22, 2012 at 6:27 pm
Looks like a shit stick to me! What a pile of crap!
July 23, 2012 at 6:50 am
So…you CAN barbecue a turd.
July 23, 2012 at 9:45 am
I overcooked a batch of brownies once and they looked just like this! *Fondly remembers throwing them off the apartment balcony at passing cars*
By the way, baked products that hit the charcoal threshold generally need to be driven over by a truck in order to break. I don’t think I’ve burnt anything that badly, before or since those brownies.
July 23, 2012 at 4:20 pm
You turned calzone into TREASURE!