I’m impressed. This creation made my inner geek AND my inner social justice advocate all pissed off and fuming. I think I’m joining the drinking game now.
I’m on board for nifty computer part outfits you make yourself (for Burning Man) but for fucks sake. $185 for a fucking broken 486 or what-have-you? I’m totally going to ridiculde the size of the fan too.
I decorated my old apartment with dead mohterboards on the crown molding. I did not say, hey, I’m going to sell my old broken shit to people that don’t know to visit a Goodwill (or dumpster) and make ya own, bitch!
I’m not sure how you guys move your arms around – it’s possible I’m doing it all wrong- but $185 does seem like an awful lot to keep scraping your wrists and arms on capacitors and pointy bits of wire that COULD HAVE EASILY BEEN YANKED OFF. I mean, look at that speaker – two wires going off where ever, one with the connector attached and one without. The side views look like she (squaw? Can I assume she?) tied loose wires together rather than remove them. Where’s the style? This isn’t just racist, it’s also beyond lazy – it’s Indian-inspired, weave something or cap the exposed wiring with beads or stick a feather in it, for the love of all that is culturally insensitive.
Speaking of weave something – ever seen the baskets woven from multicolored telephone wire with traditional Zulu techniques? Now that’s how you mix scrap tech and traditional crafts.
The big IC on the font board may be a microprocessor, but these boards didn’t come out of any personal computer. There’s a lot of analog going on, and I think I see a potentiometer hanging on the left.
They used the outer shell to weave together some sort of moveable housing as well. I think they called them “teardrop trailers” (and they were glittery teardrops after white men came).
The white men spoke with forked tongues as sharp as exposed wiring, and hunted the Commodores for sport until heaps of them lay, corroding in the sun, piled up the sky on the Great Plains.
most… not… make joke… about… “glittery teardrops” “after white men came”… potential comment overload…. flashbacks from 3 years as a porn shop register minion… shutting brain down…. there’s only so much she can take, captain! …brain… poop….
CollectorOfWaywardRacistWhiteCousins
July 20, 2012 at 5:22 pm
You misspelled “toxic waste dump”
I can only imagine a very high, sunburned white college girl making this during insomnia one night. But to try to sell it, she would also have to be studying some bullshit for postgraduate, like Marketing.
“Offend people! Nobody would know about that chips ad with the Kelso guy from That 70′s Show in it, if he hadn’t been doing a racist brownface for the entire ad with a ridiculous made-up accent! People were offended and EVERYONE KNEW ABOUT THE CHILI LIME CHIPS! OFFEND PEOPLE, STUDENTS! IT GETS A PRODUCT’S NAME OUT FASTER THAN ANYTHING!”
How am I supposed to get laid while wearing that, if all I can do is stand there and grimace when forced to take a step? My sexy steampunk indian loincloths need to be a bit more practical.
If by “Indians” you mean “suburban white kids whose concept of Native Americans is drawn from Peter Pan and Pocahontas, but who would, like, totally love to live like Indians because it’s so simple and natural and somehow also steampunky”, then yes. Yes it is.
System ERROR CODE 271: overflow cache INVALID_DATA_INDEX 1059 (0×423) recovery_EXE
The network path was either typed incorrectly, does not exist, or the network provider is not currently available. Please try retyping the path or contact your network administrator.
Wow, that is just asking for trouble. You’re telling me that no one has yet convinced him to send them the belt and sent back pictures of, say, hairy out of shape men in it?
Like the face mask/bondagey thing with the hot pink plastic tubing? I was too scared to actually look at the page. And the ‘real’ bras he makes don’t look like they’re actually…designed.
By the shores of Cuper-tino,
By the shining Windows 8,
Stood the wigwam of USB port,
Daughter of the Moon, eSATA.
Dark behind it rose the North Bridge,
Rose the black and gloomy processor,
Rose the memory with chips upon them;
Bright before it beat the BIOS,
Beat the clear and sunny BIOS,
Beat the shining PCI socket.
I hope it comes with a can of Static Guard. There’s no telling what kind of Back to the Future kind of shenanigans could happen if someone tried to walk in this.
Is it weird I’m more curious about what computer she destroyed to make this abomination than the thing itself? Based on the layout, most of the small ones look like power supplies, but the big board looks familiar.
Well, other than that giant white plastic thing, obviously. But it sort of does look like it has a 6502 on there.
I just hope she didn’t ruin an actual, functional piece of computer history and that it was broken. Hopefully just a VCR and not a Commodore 64.
Looks more like a few kitchen appliances and a clock radio. Any design with a general purpose CPU (as opposed to a microcontroller or digital clock ASIC) would be too expensive to manufacture without at least two-layer boards.
I think I’ve seen all reference motherboards starting from 86086 and this thing doesn’t look like a motherboard at all. This board doesn’t have a single extension slot, be it ISA or VLB, and I don’t remember a single motherboard with less than least three of those.
Actually, nevermind, it was totally the booze. I think you might be right… that it’s an anatomically nearly-correct mannequin… and now I’m disturbed at this seller.
I had a colleague who was working on a material that generated electricity when you flexed it. It was in the super-exploratory stage, but the hook was that eventually you’d be able to put it in the soles of shoes and the like and then people could charge their phones by walking. Another guy did the calculation and figured you’d need a sheet the size of a sailboat sail to generate enough juice to charge a phone battery. I asked if it was ok to fold the sail (yes) and suggested making it a mattress pad.
I thought female genital mutilation was illegal… does that mean that this seller could potentially be charged with a crime for marketing what amounts to a genital mutilation device to women? Do I dare hope?
Ah. The all but forgotten Steampunk Tribe. For untold years, they provided other Native Americans with quality computers and messaging systems. Then the white man came along, decided that instant messaging was the work of Satan, and wiped them out, leaving the remaining tribes to use fire for signals and young men on fast horses when they needed to contact someone in a neighboring camp.
I dare someone else to address any Native American woman today by “squaw”. It is probably the last conscious thing you will ever do. Suffice it to say, it does not mean “Indian Princess”.
Ooo, flashback time: New Mexico, 1980s, lunchtime student zone cafe, booth with a few young Pueblo women. Friend approaches: “Yatahey, Squaws, room for one more?” Result – raucous laughter and rearranging to make room for Giant Cinnamon Roll Woman.
What, you people have never heard of the Steampunk tribe of upper Manhattan? They were a peaceful,if not annoying tribe, subsisting mostly on Starbucks coffee grinds and vegetables grown at the local farmers’ market. They’re famous for their elaborate worship ceremonies to the owl-headed octopus sky god.
Some of you need to brush up on your Native American history.
2) A shitty bib as a loincloth IS NOT NATIVE AMERICAN
3) The word “squaw” means VAGINA to many (if not most) Native American tribes, and regardless of its true historical meaning has been used AS A RACIAL SLUR since the late 1800′s
Back in the day (1986) an asshole jock called my friend Meri a “squaw” thinking he was cute or cool or whatever the fuck jocks think they are. I punched him so hard I broke his jaw. Instinctively I knew this word was wrong. I got kicked out of school but Meri and I are still best friends. I heard the jock died a club kid crack whore in ’92.
I don’t delight in the death of an asshole, but the punching story is quite savory.
Anyway, I am at least comforted in knowing that whoever wears this piece of goat shit will bleed profusely from the groin. It’s never a good sign when the seller loosely ties the garment around a mannequin for display purposes, and explicitly warns you not to ‘move around’ in it much if you value your vital fluids.
Considering none of the cupcakes seem to be capable of using the word vagina correctly, you had the insane hope they’d get this right? Not that there’s any hope for Etsy…
Maybe, but I prefer to assume ignorance over ill-will. Most of the sellers on Etsy are somewhat uneducated or stupid, not inherently hateful.
Most of them.
If the garment weren’t so awful, I’d email her to inform her of the meaning of the word squaw. And maybe I’d even inform her of federal law which makes it expressly illegal to sell Native American artifacts under the name “Indian” if you’re not registered and blooded. But I’m pretty sure you could sell anything short of child porn on Etsy and get away with it, at least as long as the hipster douchebags running the show still take their cut.
“3) The word “squaw” means VAGINA to many (if not most) Native American tribes”
No, not most, not many. Possibly one, but that’s a stretch.
Of course, it depends on who you’d rather believe, Oprah or people who have actually looked into the facts rather than allowing any asshole to say any stupid or dangerous child-killing thing on tv if it will get them ratings and make them money.
1) I’ve worked on a res before and can attest that there are Indians who believe squaw = vagina.
2) Read the second half of that comment again, where I say “…and regardless of its true historical meaning has been used AS A RACIAL SLUR since the late 1800′s”. That much is true.
Similarly, I don’t care that the word “niggardly” is not derived from the n-word. You’re a racist or an idiot if you use it in public, and same goes for “squaw”.
Think I might pass this along to a friend of mine who writes a blog reflecting on all kinds of Native things, misrepresentation, and all out racial sensitivity. I think she’d have a field day with the kind of stuff that passes for art on Etsy.
If you try to view it now, it’s gone, but Etsy has kindly provided some other items you might enjoy – You must see what they recommend instead – Not nearly as dangerous to wear or as ugly.
I love that a piece of clothing came with ” wear at your own risk”
It’s like they KNOW if you wear this you will be pelted with rotten tomatoes or have the possibilities of havign the snot kick out of you!
Tim Gowin is a douche-canoe for thinking that it is appropriate to use the word “squaw” in any way shape or form. I wonder how he would like it if we all referred to his grad school daughter as that “grad school cunt”. I think it would be no more offensive than his use of the word squaw. But that’s just my opinion.
it *might* qualify as cyberpunk, but then real cyberpunks would drag it over behind the cobwebby portion of etsy where things are actually handmade and kick the snot out of it when nobody was looking.
July 20, 2012 at 4:32 pm
I’m impressed. This creation made my inner geek AND my inner social justice advocate all pissed off and fuming. I think I’m joining the drinking game now.
July 20, 2012 at 4:52 pm
It’s like, C- for effort (the big front board is just slapped on there?) but A+ for trolling.
*pours out vodka*
July 20, 2012 at 4:57 pm
I’d give it C++ for effort.
July 20, 2012 at 9:39 pm
Delightfully, the worst Photoshop job I’ve seen in some time. Kudos!
July 20, 2012 at 11:46 pm
Yeah, it’s like those legs are made of plastic or something.
Wait for it….
July 20, 2012 at 4:59 pm
I’m on board for nifty computer part outfits you make yourself (for Burning Man) but for fucks sake. $185 for a fucking broken 486 or what-have-you? I’m totally going to ridiculde the size of the fan too.
I decorated my old apartment with dead mohterboards on the crown molding. I did not say, hey, I’m going to sell my old broken shit to people that don’t know to visit a Goodwill (or dumpster) and make ya own, bitch!
July 20, 2012 at 5:24 pm
I’m not sure how you guys move your arms around – it’s possible I’m doing it all wrong- but $185 does seem like an awful lot to keep scraping your wrists and arms on capacitors and pointy bits of wire that COULD HAVE EASILY BEEN YANKED OFF. I mean, look at that speaker – two wires going off where ever, one with the connector attached and one without. The side views look like she (squaw? Can I assume she?) tied loose wires together rather than remove them. Where’s the style? This isn’t just racist, it’s also beyond lazy – it’s Indian-inspired, weave something or cap the exposed wiring with beads or stick a feather in it, for the love of all that is culturally insensitive.
July 20, 2012 at 6:19 pm
The pointy bits of wire are a feature not a bug.
July 20, 2012 at 6:49 pm
This fetish is new to me, but then I was never cool enough to go to Burning Man.
July 20, 2012 at 8:26 pm
Wouldn’t a steampunk indian have a dot on his forehead and be named Raj? or Haji?
July 21, 2012 at 9:21 am
Speaking of weave something – ever seen the baskets woven from multicolored telephone wire with traditional Zulu techniques? Now that’s how you mix scrap tech and traditional crafts.
July 21, 2012 at 5:47 am
What fan? That thing in the middle is a speaker.
The big IC on the font board may be a microprocessor, but these boards didn’t come out of any personal computer. There’s a lot of analog going on, and I think I see a potentiometer hanging on the left.
July 21, 2012 at 5:58 pm
For Burning Man? be careful, computer boards melt when exposed to heat.. Nothing like melting plastic near bajingo flesh to ruin your weekend.
July 20, 2012 at 4:33 pm
Crying Indian wishes you just left this junk on the side of the road.
July 20, 2012 at 4:36 pm
Crying Indian is crying because you keep putting sharp computer parts on his junk.
July 29, 2012 at 3:17 pm
>_> im wishing they’d left it on the side of the road too.. dammit why cant people put more effort into making shit from garbage.
July 20, 2012 at 4:33 pm
They used the outer shell to weave together some sort of moveable housing as well. I think they called them “teardrop trailers” (and they were glittery teardrops after white men came).
July 20, 2012 at 6:42 pm
The white men spoke with forked tongues as sharp as exposed wiring, and hunted the Commodores for sport until heaps of them lay, corroding in the sun, piled up the sky on the Great Plains.
July 21, 2012 at 9:20 pm
most… not… make joke… about… “glittery teardrops” “after white men came”… potential comment overload…. flashbacks from 3 years as a porn shop register minion… shutting brain down…. there’s only so much she can take, captain! …brain… poop….
July 20, 2012 at 4:33 pm
How?
July 20, 2012 at 4:37 pm
I think Why would be more appropriate.
July 20, 2012 at 6:30 pm
To quote Anastasia Krupnik’s mother, sometimes it’s not important to ask why.
July 20, 2012 at 9:21 pm
Ya’at’eeh.
July 21, 2012 at 9:08 am
Ya ta … hey? What?
July 20, 2012 at 4:34 pm
That’s what I don’t have enough of near my crotch! Sharp corners and exposed wiring!
July 20, 2012 at 4:34 pm
“The great thing about Steampunk Indians is that they used every part of the computer, but they did not much move.“
July 20, 2012 at 4:35 pm
A loincloth that the creator recommends not moving in. For $185. That’s some mighty expensive lingerie.*
*That usually immediately ends up on the floor anyway.
July 20, 2012 at 5:22 pm
You misspelled “toxic waste dump”
I can only imagine a very high, sunburned white college girl making this during insomnia one night. But to try to sell it, she would also have to be studying some bullshit for postgraduate, like Marketing.
“Offend people! Nobody would know about that chips ad with the Kelso guy from That 70′s Show in it, if he hadn’t been doing a racist brownface for the entire ad with a ridiculous made-up accent! People were offended and EVERYONE KNEW ABOUT THE CHILI LIME CHIPS! OFFEND PEOPLE, STUDENTS! IT GETS A PRODUCT’S NAME OUT FASTER THAN ANYTHING!”
July 20, 2012 at 4:35 pm
How am I supposed to get laid while wearing that, if all I can do is stand there and grimace when forced to take a step? My sexy steampunk indian loincloths need to be a bit more practical.
July 20, 2012 at 4:36 pm
“…not recommend much moving in this item’?
This would be perfect for my wife!
Hey-ooo!
July 20, 2012 at 4:56 pm
Early Woody Allen joke (when he did stand-up): “My ex-wife got ticketed. I’m positive it wasn’t for a moving violation.”
July 20, 2012 at 9:29 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 20, 2012 at 4:36 pm
I always thought it was the guys that wore loin cloths, or at least the only ones who would wear sharp things in the loin area.
July 20, 2012 at 8:00 pm
You can’t wear sharp things in the loin area anymore. Extra security measures.
July 23, 2012 at 10:29 am
But it would probably cut down [geddit?] on the TSA molestation.
July 20, 2012 at 4:39 pm
Ugly, expensive and immobilizing. Win, win, win!
July 20, 2012 at 5:30 pm
You forgot “offensive.” What’s the word for whatever is one more than a trifecta?
July 20, 2012 at 5:48 pm
Etsfecta?
July 20, 2012 at 5:59 pm
Etsfecta’s what you contract from the cuts received while wearing this.
July 20, 2012 at 4:40 pm
Squaw.
Really?
Keep it classy Etsy.
July 20, 2012 at 11:28 pm
…yup, it’s right up there with several other choice derogatory terms. Someone needs to pull their head out of their ass and get with the program.
July 20, 2012 at 4:40 pm
This is what we get when “indians” go to goodwill’s trash dumpster for craft supplies…
July 20, 2012 at 6:49 pm
If by “Indians” you mean “suburban white kids whose concept of Native Americans is drawn from Peter Pan and Pocahontas, but who would, like, totally love to live like Indians because it’s so simple and natural and somehow also steampunky”, then yes. Yes it is.
January 28, 2013 at 4:11 pm
Because nothing is as simple and natural as steam-powered contraptions and Victorian sensibilities…
July 20, 2012 at 8:03 pm
You misspelled “shitheads”.
July 20, 2012 at 4:43 pm
Or you could just say “Not tonight, I have a headache.”
July 20, 2012 at 5:39 pm
Or, “Not tonight, I have a system crash”.
July 20, 2012 at 6:07 pm
“Not tonight, I’m motherbored.”
July 20, 2012 at 6:40 pm
Not tonight, you don’t have enough RAM.
July 20, 2012 at 7:27 pm
System ERROR CODE 271: overflow cache INVALID_DATA_INDEX 1059 (0×423) recovery_EXE
The network path was either typed incorrectly, does not exist, or the network provider is not currently available. Please try retyping the path or contact your network administrator.
MESSAGE 33942
July 21, 2012 at 7:38 am
ctrl alt del.
Go throw that thing in the Stink Lodge, dear.
July 20, 2012 at 9:05 pm
Ah yes, there are many of us who get board when there is not enough RAM. More RAM means less board, that’s what I say.
July 20, 2012 at 9:31 pm
Not tonight. I got the blue screen.
July 21, 2012 at 6:00 pm
sounds like something that needs to be cured with antibiotic ointment.
July 20, 2012 at 10:11 pm
sad mac icon
July 20, 2012 at 4:44 pm
Fails to be steampunk but succeeds at being racist. Alas.
July 20, 2012 at 4:45 pm
This from a guy that thinks a belt should go around a woman’s boobs. Fine. But she wouldn’t be able to MUCH MOVE.
July 20, 2012 at 11:05 pm
Keep reading. He will send you the boob belt for free if you agree to send him pictures of you wearing it as a bra. I am so creeped out right now.
July 21, 2012 at 10:26 am
Wow, that is just asking for trouble. You’re telling me that no one has yet convinced him to send them the belt and sent back pictures of, say, hairy out of shape men in it?
July 21, 2012 at 8:49 am
I do believe that is the point. He wants women wearing as little as possible but be unable to move while doing so. That way they don’t escape.
July 21, 2012 at 10:29 am
Like the face mask/bondagey thing with the hot pink plastic tubing? I was too scared to actually look at the page. And the ‘real’ bras he makes don’t look like they’re actually…designed.
July 20, 2012 at 4:45 pm
They took the whole Circuitboard Nation
And put us on this reservation
Took away our ways of life
The soldering iron and our pocket knife
They took away our native tongue
And taught their Etsy to our young
And all the boards we made by hand
Are nowadays made in Japan
Circuit people, Circuitboard tribe
So proud to live, so proud to die!
July 20, 2012 at 5:15 pm
Bury My Hard Drive at Wounded Knee
July 20, 2012 at 7:11 pm
Bury it? Hell no! Slap some glitter and barnwood on it, and steampunk that sucker on Etsy.
July 21, 2012 at 7:28 am
perhaps at Arrow To The Knee in this instance?
July 20, 2012 at 6:33 pm
By the shores of Cuper-tino,
By the shining Windows 8,
Stood the wigwam of USB port,
Daughter of the Moon, eSATA.
Dark behind it rose the North Bridge,
Rose the black and gloomy processor,
Rose the memory with chips upon them;
Bright before it beat the BIOS,
Beat the clear and sunny BIOS,
Beat the shining PCI socket.
July 20, 2012 at 7:14 pm
Longfellow.
Man, I love these comment threads.
July 20, 2012 at 4:48 pm
no one mentioned that BRAVES wear loincloths…squaws don’t. and you’ve have to be mighty brave to wear that horror!
July 20, 2012 at 4:48 pm
Not only is this racially offensive, but it’s also offensive to the eyes, all in one fell swoop!
July 20, 2012 at 4:49 pm
Also, this:
>.>
July 20, 2012 at 5:07 pm
Why? Why are people so ignorant? I weep for the sake of humanity.
July 20, 2012 at 4:54 pm
I notice this was not considered either safe or attractive enough to be modeled by a human.
July 20, 2012 at 4:55 pm
HAHA
perfect caption is perfect
July 20, 2012 at 5:01 pm
We’re all for sexual equality when it comes to potentially having your nether bits mutilated by computer parts.
July 20, 2012 at 5:02 pm
I hope it comes with a can of Static Guard. There’s no telling what kind of Back to the Future kind of shenanigans could happen if someone tried to walk in this.
July 20, 2012 at 5:27 pm
So this is where the phrase “Baby – I’m gonna fuck you into next Tuesday!” comes from?
July 20, 2012 at 5:04 pm
it’s an ugly piece of shit AND racist, GREAT JOB!!!!
July 20, 2012 at 5:05 pm
Anybody look at the guys photo that’s selling this stuff? Gives me the creeps. Seems to be into guns & leather a lot.
July 20, 2012 at 7:37 pm
Ah, dammit…..he’s from the ‘burbs…..and his poor kids, he mentions them in his shop description (a 16 yr old is a senior?)
He really does have some weird ass stuff listed….
July 23, 2012 at 10:32 am
Hey, I was 16 when I was a senior! Anything is possible in this best of all possible worlds.
July 20, 2012 at 5:06 pm
This kinda makes me think of Tarzan with a bad cyber-steam-whateverpunk theme…
July 21, 2012 at 9:26 pm
whateverpunk is my new favourite word
July 20, 2012 at 5:06 pm
Is it weird I’m more curious about what computer she destroyed to make this abomination than the thing itself? Based on the layout, most of the small ones look like power supplies, but the big board looks familiar.
Well, other than that giant white plastic thing, obviously. But it sort of does look like it has a 6502 on there.
I just hope she didn’t ruin an actual, functional piece of computer history and that it was broken. Hopefully just a VCR and not a Commodore 64.
July 20, 2012 at 6:01 pm
Looks more like a few kitchen appliances and a clock radio. Any design with a general purpose CPU (as opposed to a microcontroller or digital clock ASIC) would be too expensive to manufacture without at least two-layer boards.
July 21, 2012 at 11:22 am
I think I’ve seen all reference motherboards starting from 86086 and this thing doesn’t look like a motherboard at all. This board doesn’t have a single extension slot, be it ISA or VLB, and I don’t remember a single motherboard with less than least three of those.
July 20, 2012 at 5:19 pm
July 20, 2012 at 5:26 pm
At least he could move while wearing it.
July 20, 2012 at 5:53 pm
It is possible I love you.
July 20, 2012 at 6:04 pm
Get in line, ElvisInstance, we fell in love with her first!
July 20, 2012 at 7:23 pm
Hey, I’m easy. We can take turns.
July 20, 2012 at 6:06 pm
lemon_bombs for the win! Again. As always. My hero.
July 20, 2012 at 6:45 pm
C3TeePeeO is darling but PBR2D2 is ADORABLE!
July 20, 2012 at 5:22 pm
I wish she would have worn some sort of undies when she took the side shots. I don’t need to see everything…
July 20, 2012 at 5:38 pm
This is a joke right?
July 20, 2012 at 6:02 pm
Dude, there’s totally simulated minge visible in the second photo.
July 20, 2012 at 6:05 pm
1. It’s a mannequin.
2. That’s a shadow on a mannequin.
3. IT’S A MANNEQUIN!!
July 20, 2012 at 6:48 pm
She’s a MANnequin, baby!
July 20, 2012 at 6:05 pm
This begs the question of why a mannequin needs to be anatomically correct…
July 20, 2012 at 6:21 pm
Dude, it’s not. That’s an articulation point.
Can’t help wondering when the last time you saw a real one was. A’course, that might be the booze talking.
July 20, 2012 at 6:25 pm
Actually, nevermind, it was totally the booze. I think you might be right… that it’s an anatomically nearly-correct mannequin… and now I’m disturbed at this seller.
July 20, 2012 at 7:40 pm
At the very least, it’s a Barbie-esque anatomy, now with more camel toe!
July 20, 2012 at 7:40 pm
Also – WTF is wrong with the KNEES???
July 20, 2012 at 9:25 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 20, 2012 at 5:28 pm
You know, if she just mounted the speakers facing OUT and had a connector for an mp3 player….
Nope. Not even then.
July 20, 2012 at 5:40 pm
This made me think… there’s a vibrator called the Club Vibe that vibrates according to music that is playing. Now, add mp3 player to “loincloth”….
July 20, 2012 at 8:16 pm
I’m totally convinced you could charge your phone using this.
July 20, 2012 at 9:58 pm
I had a colleague who was working on a material that generated electricity when you flexed it. It was in the super-exploratory stage, but the hook was that eventually you’d be able to put it in the soles of shoes and the like and then people could charge their phones by walking. Another guy did the calculation and figured you’d need a sheet the size of a sailboat sail to generate enough juice to charge a phone battery. I asked if it was ok to fold the sail (yes) and suggested making it a mattress pad.
No one appreciated the brilliance of my plan.
July 21, 2012 at 2:49 pm
No one appreciates a true visionary, Kyso42.
July 20, 2012 at 5:38 pm
I’ve seen a lot of interesting things done with old circuit boards and components. I’m really sad that this isn’t one of them.
July 21, 2012 at 7:09 am
I’ve seen some interesting things done with loincloths, too, but this also isn’t one of them.
July 20, 2012 at 6:00 pm
Don’t move around too much in this because the sharp edges will castrate you.
July 20, 2012 at 6:34 pm
That is why it is a lady’s garment, I assume.
July 21, 2012 at 8:43 am
If it wasn’t, it will be by the time you’re done wearing it.
July 21, 2012 at 9:33 pm
I thought female genital mutilation was illegal… does that mean that this seller could potentially be charged with a crime for marketing what amounts to a genital mutilation device to women? Do I dare hope?
July 20, 2012 at 6:11 pm
Ah. The all but forgotten Steampunk Tribe. For untold years, they provided other Native Americans with quality computers and messaging systems. Then the white man came along, decided that instant messaging was the work of Satan, and wiped them out, leaving the remaining tribes to use fire for signals and young men on fast horses when they needed to contact someone in a neighboring camp.
July 20, 2012 at 8:02 pm
Huh. Well there’s one thing at least that the white man was right about.
July 20, 2012 at 6:12 pm
it’s shit to begin with but from a design standpoint it’s even worse. why would you just slap a circuit board to the front????
their other items aren’t even close to being this bad, too. what the christ
July 20, 2012 at 6:37 pm
So basically:
It’s racist as hell,
It’s not steampunk,
It’s ugly,
It will try to kill you if you wear it.
Have I pretty much summed up the problem with this item and its Estsy description?
July 20, 2012 at 6:41 pm
You forgot: It’s disrespectful to all other loincloths in existence.
July 20, 2012 at 7:40 pm
The electronics look to be many years old, when lead was still commonly used. So it is also probably toxic.
July 20, 2012 at 6:38 pm
I think that anything that comes with the note “Wear at your own risk” needs some rethinking.
July 20, 2012 at 6:39 pm
The entire reason loincloths were invented is to cover the naughty bits and still be very active. Like, riding horses and shooting buffalo active.
This loincloth defeats the purpose of loincloths.
Also, “I am not sure If I will be making anymore of these. Not sure if anyone would even purchase such a item.” I sure wouldn’t.
July 20, 2012 at 6:52 pm
Jeronimo-therboard
July 20, 2012 at 7:04 pm
Sitting Bull Shit
July 21, 2012 at 3:55 am
Pocahontasshat
July 20, 2012 at 7:14 pm
Crap. I was going to wear this to a wedding this September, but it’s far to mainstream now. We were going to plant wildflowers then time travel.
July 20, 2012 at 9:26 pm
You can still wear it to a hobo steam punk wedding.
July 20, 2012 at 7:42 pm
I didn’t realize “steampunk” was synonymous with “leather fetish.” Or Fred Astaire???
July 20, 2012 at 7:58 pm
Is this going to be a new trend? The “urban loincloth”?
July 20, 2012 at 8:11 pm
Also file under: “Things that are not skirts”
July 20, 2012 at 8:19 pm
I dare someone else to address any Native American woman today by “squaw”. It is probably the last conscious thing you will ever do. Suffice it to say, it does not mean “Indian Princess”.
July 20, 2012 at 9:16 pm
Seriously, how does a person not know this is derogatory? I assume they’re not trying to be offensive: how can they possibly not realize?
July 21, 2012 at 9:23 am
Ooo, flashback time: New Mexico, 1980s, lunchtime student zone cafe, booth with a few young Pueblo women. Friend approaches: “Yatahey, Squaws, room for one more?” Result – raucous laughter and rearranging to make room for Giant Cinnamon Roll Woman.
July 21, 2012 at 8:56 pm
A lot different in-group, though.
July 20, 2012 at 8:45 pm
What, you people have never heard of the Steampunk tribe of upper Manhattan? They were a peaceful,if not annoying tribe, subsisting mostly on Starbucks coffee grinds and vegetables grown at the local farmers’ market. They’re famous for their elaborate worship ceremonies to the owl-headed octopus sky god.
Some of you need to brush up on your Native American history.
July 21, 2012 at 7:14 am
They wore monocles made from the finest PBR cans and ironic bearskin t-shirts with lesser-tribes’ names on them.
July 20, 2012 at 10:00 pm
NO NO NO FUCKING NO WRONG NO WRONG SHIT FUCK NO
1) Destroyed electronics ARE NOT STEAMPUNK
2) A shitty bib as a loincloth IS NOT NATIVE AMERICAN
3) The word “squaw” means VAGINA to many (if not most) Native American tribes, and regardless of its true historical meaning has been used AS A RACIAL SLUR since the late 1800′s
YOU ARE FIFTY KINDS OF MOTHERFUCKING STUPID
July 20, 2012 at 10:47 pm
Back in the day (1986) an asshole jock called my friend Meri a “squaw” thinking he was cute or cool or whatever the fuck jocks think they are. I punched him so hard I broke his jaw. Instinctively I knew this word was wrong. I got kicked out of school but Meri and I are still best friends. I heard the jock died a club kid crack whore in ’92.
July 21, 2012 at 10:20 am
I don’t delight in the death of an asshole, but the punching story is quite savory.
Anyway, I am at least comforted in knowing that whoever wears this piece of goat shit will bleed profusely from the groin. It’s never a good sign when the seller loosely ties the garment around a mannequin for display purposes, and explicitly warns you not to ‘move around’ in it much if you value your vital fluids.
July 21, 2012 at 8:36 am
Considering none of the cupcakes seem to be capable of using the word vagina correctly, you had the insane hope they’d get this right? Not that there’s any hope for Etsy…
July 21, 2012 at 9:28 am
The word “squaw” means VAGINA
That’s probably only going to encourage them.
July 21, 2012 at 10:24 am
Maybe, but I prefer to assume ignorance over ill-will. Most of the sellers on Etsy are somewhat uneducated or stupid, not inherently hateful.
Most of them.
If the garment weren’t so awful, I’d email her to inform her of the meaning of the word squaw. And maybe I’d even inform her of federal law which makes it expressly illegal to sell Native American artifacts under the name “Indian” if you’re not registered and blooded. But I’m pretty sure you could sell anything short of child porn on Etsy and get away with it, at least as long as the hipster douchebags running the show still take their cut.
July 21, 2012 at 4:48 pm
“3) The word “squaw” means VAGINA to many (if not most) Native American tribes”
No, not most, not many. Possibly one, but that’s a stretch.
Of course, it depends on who you’d rather believe, Oprah or people who have actually looked into the facts rather than allowing any asshole to say any stupid or dangerous child-killing thing on tv if it will get them ratings and make them money.
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2542/is-squaw-an-obscene-insult
http://www.bluecorncomics.com/squaw.htm
http://spot.colorado.edu/~koontz/faq/etymology.htm
July 23, 2012 at 5:04 pm
1) I’ve worked on a res before and can attest that there are Indians who believe squaw = vagina.
2) Read the second half of that comment again, where I say “…and regardless of its true historical meaning has been used AS A RACIAL SLUR since the late 1800′s”. That much is true.
Similarly, I don’t care that the word “niggardly” is not derived from the n-word. You’re a racist or an idiot if you use it in public, and same goes for “squaw”.
July 20, 2012 at 10:20 pm
Think I might pass this along to a friend of mine who writes a blog reflecting on all kinds of Native things, misrepresentation, and all out racial sensitivity. I think she’d have a field day with the kind of stuff that passes for art on Etsy.
July 21, 2012 at 8:19 am
Link, please?
July 21, 2012 at 10:25 am
Seconded.
July 21, 2012 at 1:54 am
Someone paid 20 cents to post this. Twenty. Whole. Cents.
July 21, 2012 at 6:50 am
If you try to view it now, it’s gone, but Etsy has kindly provided some other items you might enjoy – You must see what they recommend instead – Not nearly as dangerous to wear or as ugly.
July 21, 2012 at 11:44 am
Google cache:
http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:http%3A%2F%2Fwww.etsy.com%2Flisting%2F102967545%2Fsteampunk-indian-squaw-loin-cloth-skirt
July 21, 2012 at 7:16 am
“But the interwebs can SAVE your people, Chief Smiling Bear!”
July 21, 2012 at 7:31 am
good to know the alternate steampunk universe has finally invented a steam powered computer.
July 22, 2012 at 8:58 pm
I’m not sure they’d put it on a loin cloth, though…
July 21, 2012 at 9:00 am
I love that a piece of clothing came with ” wear at your own risk”
It’s like they KNOW if you wear this you will be pelted with rotten tomatoes or have the possibilities of havign the snot kick out of you!
July 21, 2012 at 11:52 am
$185…that was no peace pipe they were smokin’…
July 21, 2012 at 1:05 pm
I headdesked.
My great-grandmother was Blackfoot Indian. Even from beyond the grave she is most likely offended by this.
July 21, 2012 at 1:53 pm
Tim Gowin is a douche-canoe for thinking that it is appropriate to use the word “squaw” in any way shape or form. I wonder how he would like it if we all referred to his grad school daughter as that “grad school cunt”. I think it would be no more offensive than his use of the word squaw. But that’s just my opinion.
July 21, 2012 at 3:04 pm
I AM KIROC!
July 21, 2012 at 3:58 pm
Etsy has done a fantastic job at leaving me wondering what is steam punk?
Definition: crap that is so stupid it can only be referred to as “steampunk” ????
July 21, 2012 at 9:50 pm
it *might* qualify as cyberpunk, but then real cyberpunks would drag it over behind the cobwebby portion of etsy where things are actually handmade and kick the snot out of it when nobody was looking.
July 22, 2012 at 2:22 pm
This thing’s owner better watch out, or he’ll be circuitcised.
Aaaaand I’ll be here all week, folks!