The great thing about Steampunk Indians is that they used every part of the computer.
I’m impressed. This creation made my inner geek AND my inner social justice advocate all pissed off and fuming. I think I’m joining the drinking game now.
It’s like, C- for effort (the big front board is just slapped on there?) but A+ for trolling.
*pours out vodka*
I’d give it C++ for effort.
Delightfully, the worst Photoshop job I’ve seen in some time. Kudos!
Yeah, it’s like those legs are made of plastic or something.
Wait for it….
I’m on board for nifty computer part outfits you make yourself (for Burning Man) but for fucks sake. $185 for a fucking broken 486 or what-have-you? I’m totally going to ridiculde the size of the fan too.
I decorated my old apartment with dead mohterboards on the crown molding. I did not say, hey, I’m going to sell my old broken shit to people that don’t know to visit a Goodwill (or dumpster) and make ya own, bitch!
I’m not sure how you guys move your arms around – it’s possible I’m doing it all wrong- but $185 does seem like an awful lot to keep scraping your wrists and arms on capacitors and pointy bits of wire that COULD HAVE EASILY BEEN YANKED OFF. I mean, look at that speaker – two wires going off where ever, one with the connector attached and one without. The side views look like she (squaw? Can I assume she?) tied loose wires together rather than remove them. Where’s the style? This isn’t just racist, it’s also beyond lazy – it’s Indian-inspired, weave something or cap the exposed wiring with beads or stick a feather in it, for the love of all that is culturally insensitive.
The pointy bits of wire are a feature not a bug.
This fetish is new to me, but then I was never cool enough to go to Burning Man.
Wouldn’t a steampunk indian have a dot on his forehead and be named Raj? or Haji?
Speaking of weave something – ever seen the baskets woven from multicolored telephone wire with traditional Zulu techniques? Now that’s how you mix scrap tech and traditional crafts.
What fan? That thing in the middle is a speaker.
The big IC on the font board may be a microprocessor, but these boards didn’t come out of any personal computer. There’s a lot of analog going on, and I think I see a potentiometer hanging on the left.
For Burning Man? be careful, computer boards melt when exposed to heat.. Nothing like melting plastic near bajingo flesh to ruin your weekend.
Crying Indian wishes you just left this junk on the side of the road.
Crying Indian is crying because you keep putting sharp computer parts on his junk.
>_> im wishing they’d left it on the side of the road too.. dammit why cant people put more effort into making shit from garbage.
They used the outer shell to weave together some sort of moveable housing as well. I think they called them “teardrop trailers” (and they were glittery teardrops after white men came).
The white men spoke with forked tongues as sharp as exposed wiring, and hunted the Commodores for sport until heaps of them lay, corroding in the sun, piled up the sky on the Great Plains.
most… not… make joke… about… “glittery teardrops” “after white men came”… potential comment overload…. flashbacks from 3 years as a porn shop register minion… shutting brain down…. there’s only so much she can take, captain! …brain… poop….
I think Why would be more appropriate.
To quote Anastasia Krupnik’s mother, sometimes it’s not important to ask why.
Ya ta … hey? What?
That’s what I don’t have enough of near my crotch! Sharp corners and exposed wiring!
“The great thing about Steampunk Indians is that they used every part of the computer, but they did not much move.“
A loincloth that the creator recommends not moving in. For $185. That’s some mighty expensive lingerie.*
*That usually immediately ends up on the floor anyway.
You misspelled “toxic waste dump”
I can only imagine a very high, sunburned white college girl making this during insomnia one night. But to try to sell it, she would also have to be studying some bullshit for postgraduate, like Marketing.
“Offend people! Nobody would know about that chips ad with the Kelso guy from That 70′s Show in it, if he hadn’t been doing a racist brownface for the entire ad with a ridiculous made-up accent! People were offended and EVERYONE KNEW ABOUT THE CHILI LIME CHIPS! OFFEND PEOPLE, STUDENTS! IT GETS A PRODUCT’S NAME OUT FASTER THAN ANYTHING!”
How am I supposed to get laid while wearing that, if all I can do is stand there and grimace when forced to take a step? My sexy steampunk indian loincloths need to be a bit more practical.
“…not recommend much moving in this item’?
This would be perfect for my wife!
Early Woody Allen joke (when he did stand-up): “My ex-wife got ticketed. I’m positive it wasn’t for a moving violation.”
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Well, it does say squaw loincloth, so it must be for a woman.
I always thought it was the guys that wore loin cloths, or at least the only ones who would wear sharp things in the loin area.
You can’t wear sharp things in the loin area anymore. Extra security measures.
But it would probably cut down [geddit?] on the TSA molestation.
Ugly, expensive and immobilizing. Win, win, win!
You forgot “offensive.” What’s the word for whatever is one more than a trifecta?
Etsfecta’s what you contract from the cuts received while wearing this.
Keep it classy Etsy.
…yup, it’s right up there with several other choice derogatory terms. Someone needs to pull their head out of their ass and get with the program.
This is what we get when “indians” go to goodwill’s trash dumpster for craft supplies…
If by “Indians” you mean “suburban white kids whose concept of Native Americans is drawn from Peter Pan and Pocahontas, but who would, like, totally love to live like Indians because it’s so simple and natural and somehow also steampunky”, then yes. Yes it is.
Because nothing is as simple and natural as steam-powered contraptions and Victorian sensibilities…
You misspelled “shitheads”.
Or you could just say “Not tonight, I have a headache.”
Or, “Not tonight, I have a system crash”.
“Not tonight, I’m motherbored.”
Not tonight, you don’t have enough RAM.
System ERROR CODE 271: overflow cache INVALID_DATA_INDEX 1059 (0×423) recovery_EXE
The network path was either typed incorrectly, does not exist, or the network provider is not currently available. Please try retyping the path or contact your network administrator.
ctrl alt del.
Go throw that thing in the Stink Lodge, dear.
Ah yes, there are many of us who get board when there is not enough RAM. More RAM means less board, that’s what I say.
Not tonight. I got the blue screen.
sounds like something that needs to be cured with antibiotic ointment.
sad mac icon
Fails to be steampunk but succeeds at being racist. Alas.
This from a guy that thinks a belt should go around a woman’s boobs. Fine. But she wouldn’t be able to MUCH MOVE.
Keep reading. He will send you the boob belt for free if you agree to send him pictures of you wearing it as a bra. I am so creeped out right now.
Wow, that is just asking for trouble. You’re telling me that no one has yet convinced him to send them the belt and sent back pictures of, say, hairy out of shape men in it?
I do believe that is the point. He wants women wearing as little as possible but be unable to move while doing so. That way they don’t escape.
Like the face mask/bondagey thing with the hot pink plastic tubing? I was too scared to actually look at the page. And the ‘real’ bras he makes don’t look like they’re actually…designed.
They took the whole Circuitboard Nation
And put us on this reservation
Took away our ways of life
The soldering iron and our pocket knife
They took away our native tongue
And taught their Etsy to our young
And all the boards we made by hand
Are nowadays made in Japan
Circuit people, Circuitboard tribe
So proud to live, so proud to die!
Bury My Hard Drive at Wounded Knee
Bury it? Hell no! Slap some glitter and barnwood on it, and steampunk that sucker on Etsy.
perhaps at Arrow To The Knee in this instance?
By the shores of Cuper-tino,
By the shining Windows 8,
Stood the wigwam of USB port,
Daughter of the Moon, eSATA.
Dark behind it rose the North Bridge,
Rose the black and gloomy processor,
Rose the memory with chips upon them;
Bright before it beat the BIOS,
Beat the clear and sunny BIOS,
Beat the shining PCI socket.
Man, I love these comment threads.
no one mentioned that BRAVES wear loincloths…squaws don’t. and you’ve have to be mighty brave to wear that horror!
Not only is this racially offensive, but it’s also offensive to the eyes, all in one fell swoop!
Why? Why are people so ignorant? I weep for the sake of humanity.
I notice this was not considered either safe or attractive enough to be modeled by a human.
perfect caption is perfect
We’re all for sexual equality when it comes to potentially having your nether bits mutilated by computer parts.
I hope it comes with a can of Static Guard. There’s no telling what kind of Back to the Future kind of shenanigans could happen if someone tried to walk in this.
So this is where the phrase “Baby – I’m gonna fuck you into next Tuesday!” comes from?
it’s an ugly piece of shit AND racist, GREAT JOB!!!!
Anybody look at the guys photo that’s selling this stuff? Gives me the creeps. Seems to be into guns & leather a lot.
Ah, dammit…..he’s from the ‘burbs…..and his poor kids, he mentions them in his shop description (a 16 yr old is a senior?)
He really does have some weird ass stuff listed….
Hey, I was 16 when I was a senior! Anything is possible in this best of all possible worlds.
This kinda makes me think of Tarzan with a bad cyber-steam-whateverpunk theme…
whateverpunk is my new favourite word
Is it weird I’m more curious about what computer she destroyed to make this abomination than the thing itself? Based on the layout, most of the small ones look like power supplies, but the big board looks familiar.
Well, other than that giant white plastic thing, obviously. But it sort of does look like it has a 6502 on there.
I just hope she didn’t ruin an actual, functional piece of computer history and that it was broken. Hopefully just a VCR and not a Commodore 64.
Looks more like a few kitchen appliances and a clock radio. Any design with a general purpose CPU (as opposed to a microcontroller or digital clock ASIC) would be too expensive to manufacture without at least two-layer boards.
I think I’ve seen all reference motherboards starting from 86086 and this thing doesn’t look like a motherboard at all. This board doesn’t have a single extension slot, be it ISA or VLB, and I don’t remember a single motherboard with less than least three of those.
At least he could move while wearing it.
It is possible I love you.
Get in line, ElvisInstance, we fell in love with her first!
Hey, I’m easy. We can take turns.
lemon_bombs for the win! Again. As always. My hero.
C3TeePeeO is darling but PBR2D2 is ADORABLE!
I wish she would have worn some sort of undies when she took the side shots. I don’t need to see everything…
This is a joke right?
Dude, there’s totally simulated minge visible in the second photo.
1. It’s a mannequin.
2. That’s a shadow on a mannequin.
3. IT’S A MANNEQUIN!!
She’s a MANnequin, baby!
This begs the question of why a mannequin needs to be anatomically correct…
Dude, it’s not. That’s an articulation point.
Can’t help wondering when the last time you saw a real one was. A’course, that might be the booze talking.
Actually, nevermind, it was totally the booze. I think you might be right… that it’s an anatomically nearly-correct mannequin… and now I’m disturbed at this seller.
At the very least, it’s a Barbie-esque anatomy, now with more camel toe!
Also – WTF is wrong with the KNEES???
Hey now. At least we aren’t looking at some hairy cooch or pit hair.
You know, if she just mounted the speakers facing OUT and had a connector for an mp3 player….
Nope. Not even then.
This made me think… there’s a vibrator called the Club Vibe that vibrates according to music that is playing. Now, add mp3 player to “loincloth”….
I’m totally convinced you could charge your phone using this.
I had a colleague who was working on a material that generated electricity when you flexed it. It was in the super-exploratory stage, but the hook was that eventually you’d be able to put it in the soles of shoes and the like and then people could charge their phones by walking. Another guy did the calculation and figured you’d need a sheet the size of a sailboat sail to generate enough juice to charge a phone battery. I asked if it was ok to fold the sail (yes) and suggested making it a mattress pad.
No one appreciated the brilliance of my plan.
No one appreciates a true visionary, Kyso42.
I’ve seen a lot of interesting things done with old circuit boards and components. I’m really sad that this isn’t one of them.
I’ve seen some interesting things done with loincloths, too, but this also isn’t one of them.
Don’t move around too much in this because the sharp edges will castrate you.
That is why it is a lady’s garment, I assume.
If it wasn’t, it will be by the time you’re done wearing it.
I thought female genital mutilation was illegal… does that mean that this seller could potentially be charged with a crime for marketing what amounts to a genital mutilation device to women? Do I dare hope?
Ah. The all but forgotten Steampunk Tribe. For untold years, they provided other Native Americans with quality computers and messaging systems. Then the white man came along, decided that instant messaging was the work of Satan, and wiped them out, leaving the remaining tribes to use fire for signals and young men on fast horses when they needed to contact someone in a neighboring camp.
Huh. Well there’s one thing at least that the white man was right about.
it’s shit to begin with but from a design standpoint it’s even worse. why would you just slap a circuit board to the front????
their other items aren’t even close to being this bad, too. what the christ
It’s racist as hell,
It’s not steampunk,
It will try to kill you if you wear it.
Have I pretty much summed up the problem with this item and its Estsy description?
You forgot: It’s disrespectful to all other loincloths in existence.
The electronics look to be many years old, when lead was still commonly used. So it is also probably toxic.
I think that anything that comes with the note “Wear at your own risk” needs some rethinking.
The entire reason loincloths were invented is to cover the naughty bits and still be very active. Like, riding horses and shooting buffalo active.
This loincloth defeats the purpose of loincloths.
Also, “I am not sure If I will be making anymore of these. Not sure if anyone would even purchase such a item.” I sure wouldn’t.
Sitting Bull Shit
Crap. I was going to wear this to a wedding this September, but it’s far to mainstream now. We were going to plant wildflowers then time travel.
You can still wear it to a hobo steam punk wedding.
I didn’t realize “steampunk” was synonymous with “leather fetish.” Or Fred Astaire???
Is this going to be a new trend? The “urban loincloth”?
Also file under: “Things that are not skirts”
I dare someone else to address any Native American woman today by “squaw”. It is probably the last conscious thing you will ever do. Suffice it to say, it does not mean “Indian Princess”.
Seriously, how does a person not know this is derogatory? I assume they’re not trying to be offensive: how can they possibly not realize?
Ooo, flashback time: New Mexico, 1980s, lunchtime student zone cafe, booth with a few young Pueblo women. Friend approaches: “Yatahey, Squaws, room for one more?” Result – raucous laughter and rearranging to make room for Giant Cinnamon Roll Woman.
A lot different in-group, though.
What, you people have never heard of the Steampunk tribe of upper Manhattan? They were a peaceful,if not annoying tribe, subsisting mostly on Starbucks coffee grinds and vegetables grown at the local farmers’ market. They’re famous for their elaborate worship ceremonies to the owl-headed octopus sky god.
Some of you need to brush up on your Native American history.
They wore monocles made from the finest PBR cans and ironic bearskin t-shirts with lesser-tribes’ names on them.
NO NO NO FUCKING NO WRONG NO WRONG SHIT FUCK NO
1) Destroyed electronics ARE NOT STEAMPUNK
2) A shitty bib as a loincloth IS NOT NATIVE AMERICAN
3) The word “squaw” means VAGINA to many (if not most) Native American tribes, and regardless of its true historical meaning has been used AS A RACIAL SLUR since the late 1800′s
YOU ARE FIFTY KINDS OF MOTHERFUCKING STUPID
Back in the day (1986) an asshole jock called my friend Meri a “squaw” thinking he was cute or cool or whatever the fuck jocks think they are. I punched him so hard I broke his jaw. Instinctively I knew this word was wrong. I got kicked out of school but Meri and I are still best friends. I heard the jock died a club kid crack whore in ’92.
I don’t delight in the death of an asshole, but the punching story is quite savory.
Anyway, I am at least comforted in knowing that whoever wears this piece of goat shit will bleed profusely from the groin. It’s never a good sign when the seller loosely ties the garment around a mannequin for display purposes, and explicitly warns you not to ‘move around’ in it much if you value your vital fluids.
Considering none of the cupcakes seem to be capable of using the word vagina correctly, you had the insane hope they’d get this right? Not that there’s any hope for Etsy…
The word “squaw” means VAGINA
That’s probably only going to encourage them.
Maybe, but I prefer to assume ignorance over ill-will. Most of the sellers on Etsy are somewhat uneducated or stupid, not inherently hateful.
Most of them.
If the garment weren’t so awful, I’d email her to inform her of the meaning of the word squaw. And maybe I’d even inform her of federal law which makes it expressly illegal to sell Native American artifacts under the name “Indian” if you’re not registered and blooded. But I’m pretty sure you could sell anything short of child porn on Etsy and get away with it, at least as long as the hipster douchebags running the show still take their cut.
“3) The word “squaw” means VAGINA to many (if not most) Native American tribes”
No, not most, not many. Possibly one, but that’s a stretch.
Of course, it depends on who you’d rather believe, Oprah or people who have actually looked into the facts rather than allowing any asshole to say any stupid or dangerous child-killing thing on tv if it will get them ratings and make them money.
1) I’ve worked on a res before and can attest that there are Indians who believe squaw = vagina.
2) Read the second half of that comment again, where I say “…and regardless of its true historical meaning has been used AS A RACIAL SLUR since the late 1800′s”. That much is true.
Similarly, I don’t care that the word “niggardly” is not derived from the n-word. You’re a racist or an idiot if you use it in public, and same goes for “squaw”.
Think I might pass this along to a friend of mine who writes a blog reflecting on all kinds of Native things, misrepresentation, and all out racial sensitivity. I think she’d have a field day with the kind of stuff that passes for art on Etsy.
Someone paid 20 cents to post this. Twenty. Whole. Cents.
If you try to view it now, it’s gone, but Etsy has kindly provided some other items you might enjoy – You must see what they recommend instead – Not nearly as dangerous to wear or as ugly.
“But the interwebs can SAVE your people, Chief Smiling Bear!”
good to know the alternate steampunk universe has finally invented a steam powered computer.
I’m not sure they’d put it on a loin cloth, though…
I love that a piece of clothing came with ” wear at your own risk”
It’s like they KNOW if you wear this you will be pelted with rotten tomatoes or have the possibilities of havign the snot kick out of you!
$185…that was no peace pipe they were smokin’…
My great-grandmother was Blackfoot Indian. Even from beyond the grave she is most likely offended by this.
Tim Gowin is a douche-canoe for thinking that it is appropriate to use the word “squaw” in any way shape or form. I wonder how he would like it if we all referred to his grad school daughter as that “grad school cunt”. I think it would be no more offensive than his use of the word squaw. But that’s just my opinion.
I AM KIROC!
Etsy has done a fantastic job at leaving me wondering what is steam punk?
Definition: crap that is so stupid it can only be referred to as “steampunk” ????
it *might* qualify as cyberpunk, but then real cyberpunks would drag it over behind the cobwebby portion of etsy where things are actually handmade and kick the snot out of it when nobody was looking.
This thing’s owner better watch out, or he’ll be circuitcised.
Aaaaand I’ll be here all week, folks!
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