iPhoning It In
It’s not a charger, it’s a charger holder. So that’s useful. Now all you need is a stand to hold the charger holder, and then you’ll just need a charger.
144 comments on iPhoning It In
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July 19, 2012 at 1:36 pm
This is the kinda graduation present you get from the same aunt who gives you lottery tickets for your birthday.
July 19, 2012 at 1:40 pm
At least with lottery tickets there’s a chance that the gift may not suck.
July 19, 2012 at 1:41 pm
Lottery tickets don’t have termites.
July 20, 2012 at 10:19 am
you don’t live in Oregon, do you?
July 19, 2012 at 1:43 pm
Except after a certain age, when that same aunt gives you the expired lotto ticket, since she forgot it was a loser.
July 19, 2012 at 5:15 pm
That’s your first clue to trim the deadwood and maybe even strip barking her. It’s really for her her own good.
July 19, 2012 at 5:16 pm
Did you just suggest that I strip my aunt?
July 19, 2012 at 5:31 pm
“how would you like to pay for this?”
“charge it”
“but there is no charge”
“great then just wrap it up and I’ll take it”
July 19, 2012 at 2:01 pm
Or coupons.
July 19, 2012 at 5:17 pm
Or McDonald’s gift certificates. Yay.
July 20, 2012 at 8:34 am
My grandparents had this idea that “kids love getting presents!” no matter what the present actually is. So every time we came to visit, they’d give me a wrapped box that turned out to contain some weird random thing dug up from their basement.
But the kicker is that they always put this detritus in a Laura Secord chocolates box. So I’d unwrap the box and think “OMG CHOCOLATE!” and then be crushed. Every. Single. Time.
:’(
July 21, 2012 at 1:37 am
Wait wait, once I`ve got a Barbie from my grandmother… in a Marlboro box.
I still have no fuckin` idea HOW did it happen.
July 19, 2012 at 1:38 pm
Who wood buy this? I’m stumped.
July 19, 2012 at 1:39 pm
Branch out a little bit, you’ll get it.
July 19, 2012 at 1:43 pm
I seed what you did there.
July 19, 2012 at 3:05 pm
Acorn’t take this much longer
July 19, 2012 at 3:12 pm
I hope they at least said plank you.
July 19, 2012 at 3:39 pm
now I’m lumbering along trying to figure out what you folks are pining about
July 19, 2012 at 5:24 pm
Best to leaf these puns alone, it’s plane they’re too much to handle.
July 19, 2012 at 6:30 pm
I wood if I could.
July 19, 2012 at 5:32 pm
Leaf it alone and maybe it will just go away
July 19, 2012 at 1:39 pm
At least with lottery tickets there’s a chance that the gift may not suck.
July 19, 2012 at 1:40 pm
This does not belong here. I barked up the wrong tree.
July 19, 2012 at 3:32 pm
I twigged to that right away.
July 20, 2012 at 7:01 am
Now you’ve gotten to the root of the problem.
July 19, 2012 at 1:41 pm
This is a forever gift. Normal gifts like cars and money are only timber-rary.
July 19, 2012 at 1:43 pm
It leafs me wanting more.
July 19, 2012 at 1:47 pm
And yet, some hipster out pines for it.
July 19, 2012 at 1:49 pm
If I receive this gift when I graduate, I’ll give you tree guesses as to what my response will be.
July 19, 2012 at 2:45 pm
I’d be stumped.
July 19, 2012 at 1:52 pm
I’m rooting for this seller. It’s knot that bad; your criticism is arbortrary.
July 19, 2012 at 3:16 pm
I think she’s a dam beech. Fir real.
July 19, 2012 at 1:54 pm
Leaf your preconceived notions at the door and go against the grain.
July 19, 2012 at 2:23 pm
I MULCH APPRECIATE THESE PUNS.
July 19, 2012 at 5:44 pm
I’m not sure I have the fortitude to stick this pun war out.
July 20, 2012 at 12:50 am
Same here. Maybe we should form a splinter group.
July 20, 2012 at 10:12 am
You’re barking up the wrong tree.
July 19, 2012 at 11:11 pm
Twiggy? Forest Whitaker? Forrest Gump? James or Tiger Woods?
July 20, 2012 at 7:49 am
It would spruce up any room.
July 19, 2012 at 1:38 pm
Kinda of dopey, and ugly as sin. I mean the charger holder.
July 19, 2012 at 1:39 pm
“Honey! You know how your father and I always promised you a car for graduation??!!”
“OMG YES!!!”
“WELL!! Your father and I decided on something so much better than just a plain ol’ car!!”
“LIKE AN SUV???!!!”
“BETTER!! A piece of wood with a random stick shooting up out of it that you can hold your phone charger in!! Happy Graduation, honey!!! WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU!!!”
“…”
“ISN’T IT GREAT!! She loves it, babe! I knew she would.”
July 19, 2012 at 1:44 pm
Yeah, the economy’s been rough on all of us, hasn’t it?
July 19, 2012 at 2:44 pm
This is going to turn into one of those chain e-mails where the graduate storms off and never speaks to the parents again, but then after they die, is going through their effects and finds the keys to a car tucked into the slot, isn’t it? I’m just not sure what the moral is. Love and respect your parents even when they lose their minds and buy you a stick and slice of tree off Etsy?
July 19, 2012 at 3:15 pm
It also could turn into a news article about two parents who were admitted to the local ER, both with chunks and sticks of wood crammed up their arses…and no comment as to why.
July 19, 2012 at 3:40 pm
Say…this would make a rather fetching rustic butt plug…
July 19, 2012 at 8:50 pm
By “fetching” do you mean “chafey?”
July 19, 2012 at 4:31 pm
Well that’s one way to get the kid to move out.
July 19, 2012 at 6:29 pm
I think the moral here would be to check your fucking mail more often, yes?
July 19, 2012 at 1:41 pm
One time I got a rotten coconut for my birthday. It was disappointing, but I got some use for it as compost.
rotten coconut 1; iPhone charger holder 0
July 19, 2012 at 5:35 pm
It’s called a coconot
July 19, 2012 at 1:42 pm
Wow. He takes a couple of chunks of found wood from the back yard, drills a couple of holes in it and sticks it together with Elmer’s wood glue, and charges $35 for this? I’M IN THE WRONG BUSINESS
July 19, 2012 at 1:51 pm
No, I’m pretty sure he’s in the wrong business. You’re doing fine.
July 19, 2012 at 2:04 pm
19 sales since March. I’ve got a couple termite infested dead trees in the backyard, this is giving me some ideas…
July 19, 2012 at 2:07 pm
You should get into the drill and Elmer’s glue business.
July 19, 2012 at 2:18 pm
Someone should open a shop on etsy selling “miracle glue”.
July 19, 2012 at 5:37 pm
From 1982 must be vintage
July 19, 2012 at 6:31 pm
Judging by other “vintage” listings on Etsy, it could be from last November and still qualify.
July 20, 2012 at 9:05 am
A listing from a similar item from the same seller “Black walnut is hard to come by, however, we’ve been blessed with a ranch full of 100 yr plus old beauties. Looks great in a modern decor at home or at the office. Beautiful handmade station that has had hours of tender loving care with sanding and multiple polyurathane applications. Great gift for just about anyone!”
Really, you think this is what you should be doing with 100 year old black walnut trees?!?!?!?!?!
July 19, 2012 at 1:47 pm
This is totally what the Blair Witch keeps her iphone in.
July 19, 2012 at 8:51 pm
I see her as a big Angry Birds fan.
July 19, 2012 at 1:50 pm
Congratulations, Graduate!!!!
Here’s a log.
Welcome to the real world, kid. Good night.
July 19, 2012 at 1:57 pm
July 19, 2012 at 1:59 pm
I immediately had that song in my head when she posted.
July 19, 2012 at 2:29 pm
I often have this song in my head for no good reason. At least this makes sense.
July 20, 2012 at 3:59 am
So glad to know I’m not the only person that has the Log song randomly rolling through their brain…
July 19, 2012 at 2:00 pm
I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s brain went straight to that spot!
July 19, 2012 at 2:02 pm
Damn you. I was typing in the frickin lyrics to this below, while you were posting.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD.
July 19, 2012 at 2:21 pm
Go ahead, PaganChick. Post them anyway. I love to sign along with that song!
July 19, 2012 at 2:25 pm
Its better than bad, its good!
July 19, 2012 at 9:37 pm
YES! As soon as I saw this post, I thought “Reseller! I swear that’s a BLAMMO product!”
July 19, 2012 at 1:54 pm
How exactly is this Anthropologie inspired?
July 19, 2012 at 1:57 pm
Anthropologists have found primitive “log furnishings” in stone caves that were very similar to this.
July 19, 2012 at 2:00 pm
For those too smart to spend the time to make such a thing and too dumb not to pay for one.
July 19, 2012 at 2:00 pm
I’d say it was more “Ren & Stimpy” inspired:
‘What.. rolls down stairs
- alone or in pairs –
rolls over your neighbor’s dog?
What’s great for a snack,
and fits on your back?
It’s Log, Log, Log!
It’s Log! It’s Log!
It’s big! It’s heavy! It’s wood!
It’s Log! It’s Log!
It’s better than bad, it’s good!”
July 19, 2012 at 2:14 pm
My brother once sang this song to me as he presented me with a log for Christmas. It was so funny, I cried. That is the only way I could see giving this to someone as a gift, you know, without getting murdered.
July 19, 2012 at 3:25 pm
I gave my sister a diaper-wrapped log for her birthday many, many years ago. She got a kick out of it, because she’s a Ren and Stimpy fan too.
July 19, 2012 at 5:46 pm
I once gave my parents a log for Christmas. It was part of a grow-your-own-mushrooms kit. Truly.
July 19, 2012 at 6:33 pm
Wow, I didn’t know your folks were into those kind of mushrooms.
July 19, 2012 at 2:04 pm
It’s gone from Anthropologie. I found it on someone’s pinterest board though. (I am not this person.)
pinterest.com/sweetpea_nwv/gotta-love-gadgets/
July 19, 2012 at 2:02 pm
“When iPhone fucks up, as it inevitably will, simply light bottom of iPhone charger holder. Holder will ensure a quick, clean burn.”
July 19, 2012 at 2:29 pm
Perfect, because that phone weighs less than a duck, and is ready to be burned at the stake, which is included.
July 19, 2012 at 3:42 pm
nice MP reference!
July 19, 2012 at 2:05 pm
I’m confused as to what a phone charger is. Isn’t it just a wire that plugs into the phone on one end and a wall outlet on the other? What exactly is this thing holding?
July 19, 2012 at 2:17 pm
Yes, but it’s just so unsightly when your phone is all sitting there, plugged in, just lying on the table charging.
July 19, 2012 at 2:22 pm
I mean, we’re not barbarians! We need to keep our chargers and toilet paper covered! I mean, what if guests come over?
July 19, 2012 at 4:33 pm
Actually this phone charger holder looks as if it can also store up to 3 rolls of toilet paper.
You can use multipurpose!
July 19, 2012 at 8:52 pm
Thank you for that giggle-inducing mental image, which I shall treasure for my remaining period of consciousness this evening.
July 20, 2012 at 9:18 am
ESPECIALLY if the toilet paper is peach-colored.
July 20, 2012 at 1:53 pm
And 20 years old.
July 19, 2012 at 6:52 pm
It puts the phone in the holder, or it gets the hose.
July 19, 2012 at 2:20 pm
I think it holds the phone while it’s charging. Instead of, you know, just laying the phone on the desk.
But don’t quote me on that.
July 19, 2012 at 2:26 pm
oh, so it’s a desk topper.
July 19, 2012 at 2:30 pm
You put the iPhone on top of the charger holder, you put the holder on top of your desk, then you put all of THAT on top of your cake. It’s just that simple.
July 19, 2012 at 2:35 pm
“And Mr. Tea does the rest,” as Don Novello/Father Guido Sarducci said.
July 19, 2012 at 5:43 pm
“I pity the fool”
“quit your jibber-jabber”
——mr T
July 19, 2012 at 10:33 pm
The other Mr. Tea, a machine as useful as this charging station without a charger:
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/79/79gupdate.phtml
July 20, 2012 at 12:13 pm
Yay for the DN/FGS reference. I once had a book of letters he wrote to random people – hilarious.
July 20, 2012 at 12:36 pm
I had that too!
July 19, 2012 at 3:45 pm
I just scared my dog, I laughed so hard at that.
July 19, 2012 at 3:48 pm
Wow. I suppose it needs a cozy as well, then, to be properly Etsyfied. I could crochet something. Maybe in the “plastic half-doll wearing a southern belle dress and bonnet” line?
July 19, 2012 at 4:03 pm
YES! A cozy for the charger holder. I saw a pattern at Maggie’s Crochet for a Christmas tree to cover a roll of TP. WHY NOT USE IT HERE?
I’m only partially serious. I need help.
July 19, 2012 at 6:25 pm
You and my stepmother, who had crocheted cozies on just about everything in her house except my father.
July 20, 2012 at 10:36 am
Badger, did she run out of yarn before she crocheted a dad cozy?
July 19, 2012 at 11:16 pm
OR, put a bird on it and it’s a CAKE topper!
July 19, 2012 at 11:17 pm
Opps – should have read all the way down. Oh, well great minds…..
July 19, 2012 at 2:09 pm
Wait… Anthroplogie inspired? Isn’t that supposed to happen the other way around?
July 19, 2012 at 2:10 pm
I think this bozo needs to find the bozette who made that splinter-ridden birdie “cake topper” and they need to get married and spend the rest of their lives amusing each other by picking up random sticks in the yard and gluing shit to them and LEAVE THE REST OF US ALONE.
July 19, 2012 at 2:18 pm
That wood be ideal.
July 19, 2012 at 3:00 pm
It is the same seller/shop.
I know they say, there’s someone for everybody, but it looks like this particular person is out of luck.
July 19, 2012 at 6:41 pm
Then again, they can always just go fuck themselves.
July 19, 2012 at 2:14 pm
What gets me about this one is the bit in the listing about how they are selling it at 1/3 of the price of the one that “inspired” it. But the Anthropologie one has the damn dock/charger built in!!! More than anything else, this is making me nuts that they are trying to say you’re getting a great deal, when it’s not the same thing. Argh.
July 19, 2012 at 2:20 pm
If you zoom in real close, the Chinese government demanded it be stamped “not made in China”.
July 19, 2012 at 3:44 pm
is it wrong that the more of your comments I read, the more I love you? (as if your name/icon wasn’t enough)
July 19, 2012 at 4:34 pm
Hey! Get in line!! I was in love with LeeLoo before it was cool!
July 19, 2012 at 5:22 pm
It was always cool!
July 21, 2012 at 8:04 pm
Line forms here >>>>>
July 19, 2012 at 2:17 pm
Wait, isn’t this a cake topper?
July 19, 2012 at 2:29 pm
No, a cake topper woulda used barn wood.
July 19, 2012 at 2:25 pm
From the seller’s copy: “Rustic meets Technology.”
Yes, but it was a blind date and Technology had a friend do a fake emergency phone call in case Technology thought Rustic was a loser and so Technology could say she had to go take care of an emergency and Rustic just sat there and wept silent sappy tears into his birch beer.
July 20, 2012 at 10:12 am
someone please whittle me some extra thumbs up
July 19, 2012 at 2:32 pm
You know, if this was at least pretty, it would be excusable that it’s completely useless.
July 19, 2012 at 2:41 pm
That’s what they said about me, too
July 19, 2012 at 3:45 pm
I thought I was the only one
July 19, 2012 at 4:47 pm
No, G Val, lots of other people say that about Melagrana.
July 19, 2012 at 5:21 pm
Damn. If only that weren’t true, I could thumbs-down you…
July 19, 2012 at 8:55 pm
There, there. Have some liquor or, if a teetotaller like your humble obedient, some Diet Shasta Cream Soda and a chocolate cake slice.
July 19, 2012 at 10:39 pm
I’ll settle for some pie, which can be found in this pie safe made out of….barnwood:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/91207385/red-3-sided-barnwood-pie-safe
July 19, 2012 at 11:19 pm
Not so sure. I can easily imagine trying to beat the stupid out of the seller with that stick.
July 19, 2012 at 2:34 pm
Seller could have easily listed this as “rustic caveman tree idol” and gotten a buyer immediately. Not me though, just somebody.
July 19, 2012 at 2:38 pm
The seller had to take that photo quickly before the thing fell off of the base.
Seriously, I’ve seen houses of cards sturdier than this piece of crap.
July 19, 2012 at 2:39 pm
My Log tells me that this will be thrown at your head moments after presenting it to your offspring.
July 19, 2012 at 3:33 pm
I don’t get it. Hmmmph. Must be a fat joke. Now I’m insulted.
July 19, 2012 at 5:20 pm
HA! Comment of the daaaaay!
July 19, 2012 at 4:20 pm
You could keep it on your nightstand with condoms in it and put a notch on the branch for every conquest…Graduate, this gift is much cooler than it looks.
July 19, 2012 at 4:36 pm
This is for when you want to charge your smart phone and also dowse for water, isn’t it.
July 19, 2012 at 5:48 pm
There’s an app for that?
*ducks*
July 20, 2012 at 9:22 am
Once they get cell phone service in Rwanda, this thing will really take off.
July 19, 2012 at 5:47 pm
Needs more fake birds.
July 19, 2012 at 9:42 pm
you know, the more I look at that thing, the more I think she mislabeled it. This is clearly a stake for burning your Barbie-size dolls when you realize they are witches and/or the Devil. You know, like we did with Grandma last week, but on a smaller scale, so the kids can get in on the fun without actually murdering a possessed loved one.
July 19, 2012 at 11:12 pm
Only good reason I’ve ever known for being a high school drop-out.
July 20, 2012 at 6:28 am
Anyone bugged by the fact you can’t see the whole thing in any of the photos?
July 20, 2012 at 9:19 am
Would it really change your mind about the thing if you could see all of it? I highly doubt a detailed photo would reveal some awesome hidden aspect of this thing. I can pretty confidently surmise that the other side of it also looks like a log.
July 20, 2012 at 10:09 am
Back in the olden days, we called this “firewood”. Ain’t technology wonderful?( shuffles off to find two tincans and long string)
July 23, 2012 at 11:53 am
Shouldn’t this item be called “iPhony charger”?