It’s not a charger, it’s a charger holder. So that’s useful. Now all you need is a stand to hold the charger holder, and then you’ll just need a charger.
This is the kinda graduation present you get from the same aunt who gives you lottery tickets for your birthday.
At least with lottery tickets there’s a chance that the gift may not suck.
Lottery tickets don’t have termites.
you don’t live in Oregon, do you?
Except after a certain age, when that same aunt gives you the expired lotto ticket, since she forgot it was a loser.
That’s your first clue to trim the deadwood and maybe even strip barking her. It’s really for her her own good.
Did you just suggest that I strip my aunt?
“how would you like to pay for this?”
“but there is no charge”
“great then just wrap it up and I’ll take it”
Or McDonald’s gift certificates. Yay.
My grandparents had this idea that “kids love getting presents!” no matter what the present actually is. So every time we came to visit, they’d give me a wrapped box that turned out to contain some weird random thing dug up from their basement.
But the kicker is that they always put this detritus in a Laura Secord chocolates box. So I’d unwrap the box and think “OMG CHOCOLATE!” and then be crushed. Every. Single. Time.
Wait wait, once I`ve got a Barbie from my grandmother… in a Marlboro box.
I still have no fuckin` idea HOW did it happen.
Who wood buy this? I’m stumped.
Branch out a little bit, you’ll get it.
I seed what you did there.
Acorn’t take this much longer
I hope they at least said plank you.
now I’m lumbering along trying to figure out what you folks are pining about
Best to leaf these puns alone, it’s plane they’re too much to handle.
I wood if I could.
Leaf it alone and maybe it will just go away
This does not belong here. I barked up the wrong tree.
I twigged to that right away.
Now you’ve gotten to the root of the problem.
This is a forever gift. Normal gifts like cars and money are only timber-rary.
It leafs me wanting more.
And yet, some hipster out pines for it.
If I receive this gift when I graduate, I’ll give you tree guesses as to what my response will be.
I’d be stumped.
I’m rooting for this seller. It’s knot that bad; your criticism is arbortrary.
I think she’s a dam beech. Fir real.
Leaf your preconceived notions at the door and go against the grain.
I MULCH APPRECIATE THESE PUNS.
I’m not sure I have the fortitude to stick this pun war out.
Same here. Maybe we should form a splinter group.
You’re barking up the wrong tree.
Twiggy? Forest Whitaker? Forrest Gump? James or Tiger Woods?
It would spruce up any room.
Kinda of dopey, and ugly as sin. I mean the charger holder.
“Honey! You know how your father and I always promised you a car for graduation??!!”
“WELL!! Your father and I decided on something so much better than just a plain ol’ car!!”
“LIKE AN SUV???!!!”
“BETTER!! A piece of wood with a random stick shooting up out of it that you can hold your phone charger in!! Happy Graduation, honey!!! WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU!!!”
“ISN’T IT GREAT!! She loves it, babe! I knew she would.”
Yeah, the economy’s been rough on all of us, hasn’t it?
This is going to turn into one of those chain e-mails where the graduate storms off and never speaks to the parents again, but then after they die, is going through their effects and finds the keys to a car tucked into the slot, isn’t it? I’m just not sure what the moral is. Love and respect your parents even when they lose their minds and buy you a stick and slice of tree off Etsy?
It also could turn into a news article about two parents who were admitted to the local ER, both with chunks and sticks of wood crammed up their arses…and no comment as to why.
Say…this would make a rather fetching rustic butt plug…
By “fetching” do you mean “chafey?”
Well that’s one way to get the kid to move out.
I think the moral here would be to check your fucking mail more often, yes?
One time I got a rotten coconut for my birthday. It was disappointing, but I got some use for it as compost.
rotten coconut 1; iPhone charger holder 0
It’s called a coconot
Wow. He takes a couple of chunks of found wood from the back yard, drills a couple of holes in it and sticks it together with Elmer’s wood glue, and charges $35 for this? I’M IN THE WRONG BUSINESS
No, I’m pretty sure he’s in the wrong business. You’re doing fine.
19 sales since March. I’ve got a couple termite infested dead trees in the backyard, this is giving me some ideas…
You should get into the drill and Elmer’s glue business.
Someone should open a shop on etsy selling “miracle glue”.
From 1982 must be vintage
Judging by other “vintage” listings on Etsy, it could be from last November and still qualify.
A listing from a similar item from the same seller “Black walnut is hard to come by, however, we’ve been blessed with a ranch full of 100 yr plus old beauties. Looks great in a modern decor at home or at the office. Beautiful handmade station that has had hours of tender loving care with sanding and multiple polyurathane applications. Great gift for just about anyone!”
Really, you think this is what you should be doing with 100 year old black walnut trees?!?!?!?!?!
This is totally what the Blair Witch keeps her iphone in.
I see her as a big Angry Birds fan.
Here’s a log.
Welcome to the real world, kid. Good night.
I immediately had that song in my head when she posted.
I often have this song in my head for no good reason. At least this makes sense.
So glad to know I’m not the only person that has the Log song randomly rolling through their brain…
I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s brain went straight to that spot!
Damn you. I was typing in the frickin lyrics to this below, while you were posting.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD.
Go ahead, PaganChick. Post them anyway. I love to sign along with that song!
Its better than bad, its good!
YES! As soon as I saw this post, I thought “Reseller! I swear that’s a BLAMMO product!”
How exactly is this Anthropologie inspired?
Anthropologists have found primitive “log furnishings” in stone caves that were very similar to this.
For those too smart to spend the time to make such a thing and too dumb not to pay for one.
I’d say it was more “Ren & Stimpy” inspired:
‘What.. rolls down stairs
- alone or in pairs –
rolls over your neighbor’s dog?
What’s great for a snack,
and fits on your back?
It’s Log, Log, Log!
It’s Log! It’s Log!
It’s big! It’s heavy! It’s wood!
It’s Log! It’s Log!
It’s better than bad, it’s good!”
My brother once sang this song to me as he presented me with a log for Christmas. It was so funny, I cried. That is the only way I could see giving this to someone as a gift, you know, without getting murdered.
I gave my sister a diaper-wrapped log for her birthday many, many years ago. She got a kick out of it, because she’s a Ren and Stimpy fan too.
I once gave my parents a log for Christmas. It was part of a grow-your-own-mushrooms kit. Truly.
Wow, I didn’t know your folks were into those kind of mushrooms.
It’s gone from Anthropologie. I found it on someone’s pinterest board though. (I am not this person.)
“When iPhone fucks up, as it inevitably will, simply light bottom of iPhone charger holder. Holder will ensure a quick, clean burn.”
Perfect, because that phone weighs less than a duck, and is ready to be burned at the stake, which is included.
nice MP reference!
I’m confused as to what a phone charger is. Isn’t it just a wire that plugs into the phone on one end and a wall outlet on the other? What exactly is this thing holding?
Yes, but it’s just so unsightly when your phone is all sitting there, plugged in, just lying on the table charging.
I mean, we’re not barbarians! We need to keep our chargers and toilet paper covered! I mean, what if guests come over?
Actually this phone charger holder looks as if it can also store up to 3 rolls of toilet paper.
You can use multipurpose!
Thank you for that giggle-inducing mental image, which I shall treasure for my remaining period of consciousness this evening.
ESPECIALLY if the toilet paper is peach-colored.
And 20 years old.
It puts the phone in the holder, or it gets the hose.
I think it holds the phone while it’s charging. Instead of, you know, just laying the phone on the desk.
But don’t quote me on that.
oh, so it’s a desk topper.
You put the iPhone on top of the charger holder, you put the holder on top of your desk, then you put all of THAT on top of your cake. It’s just that simple.
“And Mr. Tea does the rest,” as Don Novello/Father Guido Sarducci said.
“I pity the fool”
“quit your jibber-jabber”
The other Mr. Tea, a machine as useful as this charging station without a charger:
Yay for the DN/FGS reference. I once had a book of letters he wrote to random people – hilarious.
I had that too!
I just scared my dog, I laughed so hard at that.
Wow. I suppose it needs a cozy as well, then, to be properly Etsyfied. I could crochet something. Maybe in the “plastic half-doll wearing a southern belle dress and bonnet” line?
YES! A cozy for the charger holder. I saw a pattern at Maggie’s Crochet for a Christmas tree to cover a roll of TP. WHY NOT USE IT HERE?
I’m only partially serious. I need help.
You and my stepmother, who had crocheted cozies on just about everything in her house except my father.
Badger, did she run out of yarn before she crocheted a dad cozy?
OR, put a bird on it and it’s a CAKE topper!
Opps – should have read all the way down. Oh, well great minds…..
Wait… Anthroplogie inspired? Isn’t that supposed to happen the other way around?
I think this bozo needs to find the bozette who made that splinter-ridden birdie “cake topper” and they need to get married and spend the rest of their lives amusing each other by picking up random sticks in the yard and gluing shit to them and LEAVE THE REST OF US ALONE.
That wood be ideal.
It is the same seller/shop.
I know they say, there’s someone for everybody, but it looks like this particular person is out of luck.
Then again, they can always just go fuck themselves.
What gets me about this one is the bit in the listing about how they are selling it at 1/3 of the price of the one that “inspired” it. But the Anthropologie one has the damn dock/charger built in!!! More than anything else, this is making me nuts that they are trying to say you’re getting a great deal, when it’s not the same thing. Argh.
If you zoom in real close, the Chinese government demanded it be stamped “not made in China”.
is it wrong that the more of your comments I read, the more I love you? (as if your name/icon wasn’t enough)
Hey! Get in line!! I was in love with LeeLoo before it was cool!
It was always cool!
Line forms here >>>>>
Wait, isn’t this a cake topper?
No, a cake topper woulda used barn wood.
From the seller’s copy: “Rustic meets Technology.”
Yes, but it was a blind date and Technology had a friend do a fake emergency phone call in case Technology thought Rustic was a loser and so Technology could say she had to go take care of an emergency and Rustic just sat there and wept silent sappy tears into his birch beer.
someone please whittle me some extra thumbs up
You know, if this was at least pretty, it would be excusable that it’s completely useless.
That’s what they said about me, too
I thought I was the only one
No, G Val, lots of other people say that about Melagrana.
Damn. If only that weren’t true, I could thumbs-down you…
There, there. Have some liquor or, if a teetotaller like your humble obedient, some Diet Shasta Cream Soda and a chocolate cake slice.
I’ll settle for some pie, which can be found in this pie safe made out of….barnwood:
Not so sure. I can easily imagine trying to beat the stupid out of the seller with that stick.
Seller could have easily listed this as “rustic caveman tree idol” and gotten a buyer immediately. Not me though, just somebody.
The seller had to take that photo quickly before the thing fell off of the base.
Seriously, I’ve seen houses of cards sturdier than this piece of crap.
My Log tells me that this will be thrown at your head moments after presenting it to your offspring.
I don’t get it. Hmmmph. Must be a fat joke. Now I’m insulted.
HA! Comment of the daaaaay!
You could keep it on your nightstand with condoms in it and put a notch on the branch for every conquest…Graduate, this gift is much cooler than it looks.
This is for when you want to charge your smart phone and also dowse for water, isn’t it.
There’s an app for that?
Once they get cell phone service in Rwanda, this thing will really take off.
Needs more fake birds.
you know, the more I look at that thing, the more I think she mislabeled it. This is clearly a stake for burning your Barbie-size dolls when you realize they are witches and/or the Devil. You know, like we did with Grandma last week, but on a smaller scale, so the kids can get in on the fun without actually murdering a possessed loved one.
Only good reason I’ve ever known for being a high school drop-out.
Anyone bugged by the fact you can’t see the whole thing in any of the photos?
Would it really change your mind about the thing if you could see all of it? I highly doubt a detailed photo would reveal some awesome hidden aspect of this thing. I can pretty confidently surmise that the other side of it also looks like a log.
Back in the olden days, we called this “firewood”. Ain’t technology wonderful?( shuffles off to find two tincans and long string)
Shouldn’t this item be called “iPhony charger”?
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