158

Ancient Chinese Secret

158 comments on Ancient Chinese Secret

  1. WotV
    July 18, 2012 at 10:52 am

    The finest jewelry shop in China. How about that?

    Thumb up Thumb down +65

    • lemon_bombs
      July 18, 2012 at 10:55 am

      Marco Polo visited that gift shop. I bought some handmade pasta on Etsy that come from that shop by way of him. True story.

      Thumb up Thumb down +85

      • Whimsicle Fuckery
        July 18, 2012 at 3:19 pm

        The pasta is available for delivery. Pick up only though. For $10.

        Thumb up Thumb down +32

    • tralfaz
      July 18, 2012 at 1:12 pm

      Is this made by Lonjunes? Or maybe Patek Filippe?

      Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • Holytape
      July 18, 2012 at 3:17 pm

      The photo’s a little blurry. It does not say “Made in China”, but it says “Made By Chyna.” It is a little known fact that Chyna was a world famous silversmith, before her days as a wrestler and porn-star.

      Thumb up Thumb down +63

  2. Matt Johnson
    July 18, 2012 at 10:53 am

    Bought in “the finest of jewelry shops”? Really?

    Zales wouldn’t even touch that piece of shit. Is it even real copper?

    Thumb up Thumb down +44

    • WotV
      July 18, 2012 at 10:53 am

      Copper made by a famous Silversmith. Wow.

      Thumb up Thumb down +73

    • TheSheep
      July 18, 2012 at 11:00 am

      See, that doesn’t read as copper to me. It looks like it tarnished and she couldn’t bother cleaning it before slapping a $1,250 price tag on it.

      Thumb up Thumb down +50

      • Matt Johnson
        July 18, 2012 at 11:06 am

        But it looks like someone took an orbital sander to it. That tells me it’s copper. Even a complete idiot wouldn’t sand away a portion of a precious metal.

        Thumb up Thumb down +28

        • TheSheep
          July 18, 2012 at 11:09 am

          I thought it was just bad smudging and fingerprints from an attempt to clean it with an old rag. Either way they are an idiot. ;-)

          Thumb up Thumb down +17

        • Kestris
          July 18, 2012 at 11:17 am

          It was likely silverplated, judging from the hinge, and in attempting to clean it, they revealed the base metal underneath, in this case, it appears to be a copper based basemetal.

          Thumb up Thumb down +39

          • Danorz
            July 18, 2012 at 11:52 am

            the staining on the hinge is likely from the actual interior of the hinge, likely an iron or steel bar. copper patination would be green, and there’s a lot of scratcches on the surface that go beyond plate depth so i feel fairly sure in stating it is solid silver. it’s still nowhere near $1200 of solid silver though, she’s off her head

            Thumb up Thumb down +19

          • frankenmouse
            July 18, 2012 at 1:03 pm

            In the other photos in the listing, the metal DOES appear silvery. I would venture to guess that the color in this photo probably comes from lighting/reflection.

            And it DOES carry a hallmark (as Danorz noted). It’s in the photo showing the battery compartment. Now what it means and whether or not it’s valid is another question. But that plus the fact that the patina is the right color/pattern for silver makes me tend to believe that it is actually sterling.

            Thumb up Thumb down +1

        • Danorz
          July 18, 2012 at 11:48 am

          you would be completely fuckin amazed if you knew how many pieces of antique sterling silverwork get sold for scrap value every year because the complete fuckin muppet that owned it has polished the hallmark right off the thing. even if you know what it is and what it should be worth it’s just not worth that anymore without that. never ever ever ever EVER polish the hallmark area on any gold or silver pieces you own, chumps

          Thumb up Thumb down +52

          • CollectorOfWaywardRacistWhiteCousins
            July 18, 2012 at 11:53 am

            holy crap all you guys are just like Pheonix Wright’s lawyers discussing a case brilliantly. I learned so much about observation and deduction from this. You’re all so fucking smart!

            Thumb up Thumb down +29

          • PlumJo
            July 18, 2012 at 1:43 pm

            What’s worse than polishing away a hallmark is using “Muppet” as an insult. How dare you! Muppets are the noblest and most wonderful of creatures to have ever existed.

            Thumb up Thumb down +81

            • angel drawers
              July 18, 2012 at 2:03 pm

              “Muppet” is one of my favorite insults though.

              Thumb up Thumb down +11

              • PlumJo
                July 18, 2012 at 2:26 pm

                Howwww? Grover, Elmo, Fozzy, Big Bird– even Oscar is sweet and lovable! How can you spit in Tully’s face?

                I won’t have it, damn it! Won’t! Down thumbs for all of you!

                Thumb up Thumb down +17

              • hacknsplash
                July 18, 2012 at 2:55 pm

                But we call my dog Muppet Face because he’s so adorable! Using it as an insult makes me cry glitter tears.

                Thumb up Thumb down +15

              • Danorz
                July 18, 2012 at 4:26 pm

                it’s nothing against the muppets themselves but the syllable structure is PERFECT for that use, seriously, try calling something a muppet in a furious tone, your tongue trapped behind your teeth flailing around angrily, the sibilant hiss as you holt the t at the end. it’s a two syllable, family friendly long drawn out “FFFFUCK”

                Thumb up Thumb down +17

              • kitschkat
                July 19, 2012 at 10:25 am

                “Muppet” is British English for “retard”.

                Thumb up Thumb down +4

              • Postmenopaws ™
                July 20, 2012 at 1:36 am

                I prefer “butt-nugget.” It has the same general sound, but doesn’t insult anything friendly and furry, with someone’s hand up its– up it.

                Thumb up Thumb down +1

              • Zefram Cockring
                July 21, 2012 at 6:02 am

                Instead of “butt nugget”, I’d go with the more traditional “dingleberry”.

                Thumb up Thumb down 0

          • Stretch65
            July 18, 2012 at 5:35 pm

            Its the Regretsy version of Antiques Roadshow: vintage edition

            Thumb up Thumb down +14

        • CrabOfDoom
          July 18, 2012 at 4:58 pm

          I would not be surprised in the least if someone who thinks “made in China” = “$1,200″ tried to clean a silver[plate] surface with a Brillo pad.

          Thumb up Thumb down +18

        • KatieRow
          July 19, 2012 at 12:38 am

          unless they were trying to sand it down to where you can’t read the “Made in China” stamp anymore.. what a sketchball

          Thumb up Thumb down +6

  3. TheSheep
    July 18, 2012 at 10:53 am

    Well, now we know why he is a “past” love.

    Thumb up Thumb down +45

  4. WotV
    July 18, 2012 at 10:55 am

    It’s amazing how much sterling silver can look like copper. Steampunk alert!

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

    • Wickedheart
      July 18, 2012 at 10:57 am

      When I saw thumbnail picture I thought it was a steampunk toilet seat.

      Thumb up Thumb down +85

      • angel drawers
        July 18, 2012 at 2:04 pm

        Don’t give them ideas!

        Thumb up Thumb down +16

  5. Carol
    July 18, 2012 at 10:55 am

    Ancient Chinese Secret….

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • taijuuuh
      July 18, 2012 at 11:34 am

      I hear their dong tea is good.

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

      • Matt Johnson
        July 18, 2012 at 11:36 am

        It’s “uncut” tea, too.

        Thumb up Thumb down +17

      • ebinard
        July 18, 2012 at 11:51 am

        Tea for dong!

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

      • Sour_Melissa87
        July 18, 2012 at 12:16 pm

        Dong, where is my automobile?

        Thumb up Thumb down +20

        • marytylerwhore
          July 18, 2012 at 3:12 pm

          ohhh sexy giiiirlfriend!!!

          Thumb up Thumb down +8

        • Lola
          July 19, 2012 at 6:15 am

          Aaaaaautomobile? Lake. Big lake!

          Thumb up Thumb down +3

      • Slay Belle
        July 18, 2012 at 12:33 pm

        I will always like a GOB reference. Always.

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

      • CrabOfDoom
        July 18, 2012 at 5:00 pm

        Flimsily related: one of the greatest days ever was when I found a 10-Dong coin in a Coinstar return tray. Dongs! Just left there for the taking!

        Thumb up Thumb down +13

        • CupcakeFucker
          July 19, 2012 at 9:33 am

          This happened to a friend of mine at work. Only it was a bag full of dildos in the parking lot.

          Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • Stretch65
        July 18, 2012 at 5:37 pm

        Dong tea has a nutty flavor – but don’t add cream

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

        • Midnight Rambler
          July 18, 2012 at 10:48 pm

          If it doesn’t come with cream already, there’s something wrong.

          Thumb up Thumb down +3

  6. butts lol
    July 18, 2012 at 10:55 am

    “Yaoi for Life ∞”

    Doesn’t quite sound like my kind of timepiece.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

    • CollectorOfWaywardRacistWhiteCousins
      July 18, 2012 at 11:55 am

      I just fainted.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • CrabOfDoom
      July 18, 2012 at 5:01 pm

      Sound just right for me, but I unfortunately find the clock hideous.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  7. upscumbag
    July 18, 2012 at 10:56 am

    Um, sorry, but you people must have never heard of Mai Din Xiana. Legendary forger of precious metal timepieces.

    Thumb up Thumb down +87

    • Getoffmylawn
      July 18, 2012 at 11:12 am

      I’m more familiar with her cousin, Eh’cho N. Meh’hiko.

      Thumb up Thumb down +31

      • Matt Johnson
        July 18, 2012 at 11:33 am

        Oddly enough, a cousin of Eh’cho N. Meh’hiko’s does the landscaping at a neighbor of mine’s house.

        Thumb up Thumb down +3

  8. WotV
    July 18, 2012 at 10:57 am

    I’m really just in it for the fingerprints so we can identify the Famous Chinese Silversmith making watches from copper.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  9. blatantlycoy
    July 18, 2012 at 10:58 am

    How depressing. It does at least look like silver. Really tarnished silver plating that is. -__-

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  10. superfran
    July 18, 2012 at 10:59 am

    Well someone’s gullible…

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • Lori
      July 18, 2012 at 11:03 am

      Yeah, 90% of Etsy.

      Thumb up Thumb down +16

    • lettucego
      July 18, 2012 at 1:26 pm

      I’m gonna have to look that up in the dictionary.

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

  11. TooManyCookbooks
    July 18, 2012 at 10:59 am

    ‘crystal face-like new vintage’

    This is the part where we do a shot, right?

    Thumb up Thumb down +82

    • lemon_bombs
      July 18, 2012 at 6:37 pm

      We really need to write up the rules.

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

      • avatarofchaos
        July 18, 2012 at 7:02 pm

        We don’t need no stinkin’ rules!

        Thumb up Thumb down +10

      • Postmenopaws ™
        July 20, 2012 at 1:40 am

        I just want to know what I have to do to get a whiskey sitzbath as a reward.

        (That probably sounds better than it actually would be.)

        Thumb up Thumb down +1

  12. Matt Johnson
    July 18, 2012 at 10:59 am

    John Marlboroman from U.S. of American says- “Small-hefty silver copper #1 timepiece from fanciness shop! Many impresses with crystal-face new vintage! Fancy time start now!

    Thumb up Thumb down +187

    • Helen Killer
      July 18, 2012 at 11:19 am

      I just aspirated my coffee.

      Thumb up Thumb down +70

      • melagrana
        July 18, 2012 at 11:48 am

        My turn now

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

      • melagrana
        July 18, 2012 at 11:49 am

        Now it’s my turn to

        Thumb up Thumb down 0

        • melagrana
          July 18, 2012 at 11:50 am

          duplicate a comment, that is

          Thumb up Thumb down +16

      • Sour_Melissa87
        July 18, 2012 at 12:18 pm

        So I wasn’t the only one. Good.

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • Postmenopaws ™
        July 20, 2012 at 1:42 am

        “I just aspirated my coffee.”

        In my head I heard “ass pirated my coffee.”

        I’ve been ill. I’m catching up.

        Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • ebinard
      July 18, 2012 at 11:49 am

      Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

      Thumb up Thumb down -33

      • mindlessBob
        July 18, 2012 at 8:00 pm

        Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

        Thumb up Thumb down -8

    • Goodness
      July 18, 2012 at 12:17 pm

      This clock love you long time!

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

      • LeeLooDallas
        July 18, 2012 at 12:36 pm

        Up to 2 hours before it breaks!

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

        • butts lol
          July 18, 2012 at 12:50 pm

          Is that standard time, or whorehouse time?

          Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • lemon_bombs
      July 18, 2012 at 6:37 pm

      John Marlboroman, my next door neighbor!

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

      • HermitTheFrog
        July 18, 2012 at 11:48 pm

        Ooooh, dat Misser Matt… he funny fella okay. Me love him all a time.

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • Postmenopaws ™
        July 20, 2012 at 1:44 am

        I went to school with R. J. Reynolds. No shit.

        Thumb up Thumb down 0

  13. emalineisabear
    July 18, 2012 at 11:01 am

    Maiden China is a very talented crafter. I’ve seen a number of her projects, from clocks, to stuffed animals, jewelry and even TVs.

    Thumb up Thumb down +86

  14. Caesarean Salad
    July 18, 2012 at 11:04 am

    One of her negative reviews: “Described as silk threadwork – this is a print on cheap fabric. At over $200 plus postage to the UK, I opened parcel and was appalled. I have been promised a refund but have to wait to send it back to US. Meanwhile I’m incurring ridiculous postage costs. In UK would fall foul of trading standards laws and could get into serious trouble. If geuine mistake and refund received, I am prepared to kiss and make up, but for now I am out of pocket, humiliated and disappointed as I was geninely excited to receive picture as she looked so special. A case of “too good to be true” and a very expensive way to learn that lesson!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +81

  15. loremi
    July 18, 2012 at 11:05 am

    Well, China *is* pretty famous.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  16. pluto1
    July 18, 2012 at 11:06 am

    and it’s battery operated with a fine plastic cover on the back! 3rd photo-inset down on Etsy site.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  17. Getoffmylawn
    July 18, 2012 at 11:07 am

    The watch is OK, but I’rather read more about George Wythe.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

    • tejasmom
      July 18, 2012 at 1:51 pm

      Shooting photo on notecard from the Wythe House in historic Williamsburg is really weird. My house is modeled on the Wythe House so I actually know about it.
      Doesn’t fit with finest silversmith made in China.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

      • mrthumbtack
        July 19, 2012 at 2:42 pm

        I wondered that too… It looks like a lot of her stuff seems to be on Colonial Williamsburg stationary…

        I’m gonna guess she’s a shop owner there and gets most of this stuff wholesale.

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

  18. Caesarean Salad
    July 18, 2012 at 11:09 am
    • Midnight Rambler
      July 18, 2012 at 10:54 pm

      Wow, now that’s some hubris. And her copy is falling apart and missing most of the gilt as well.

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • Lola
      July 19, 2012 at 6:25 am

      I found the same book on a book specialist site for $12.95

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • sapphiremind
      July 19, 2012 at 7:52 am

      “signed by artist” Uh, no, that’s a print, dumbass.

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • mrthumbtack
      July 19, 2012 at 2:47 pm

      Wow… just wow.

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

  19. StellaBean
    July 18, 2012 at 11:19 am

    Real silver tarnishes black, not orange. Maybe silver plating. Poor silver plating.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • rushgirl2112
      July 18, 2012 at 1:45 pm

      I’ve photographed a lot of sterling, and with certain lighting and backgrounds, it CAN appear orangey. As much as I’ve fiddled with my camera settings, I still almost always need to color correct the pics. So you really can’t assume that the color in the pics is the same as it is in real life.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

  20. StellaBean
    July 18, 2012 at 11:20 am

    Real silver tarnishes black, not orange. Maybe silver plating. Poor silver plating at that.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  21. Matt Johnson
    July 18, 2012 at 11:23 am

    Wasn’t “Sterling, Silver and Chic” a vocal group from the 70s?

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

    • Matt Johnson
      July 18, 2012 at 11:57 am

      Are you going to Tienanmen Square,
      Timepiece Sterling, Silver and Chic
      Remember Famous Silversmith who lives there
      He once was a past love of mine.

      Thumb up Thumb down +64

      • Mugsy Doodle
        July 18, 2012 at 11:59 am

        Now that song is in my head. I hate you. I hate you with all the passion that a Kardashiskank shows for a mirror. Yes, Matt, THAT is how much I hate you.

        Thumb up Thumb down +16

  22. joshpincusiscrying
    July 18, 2012 at 11:25 am

    Nothin’ could be fina
    Than to buy a clock from China

    Thumb up Thumb down +42

  23. KOF
    July 18, 2012 at 11:29 am

    She’s such a bullshit artist….

    “Original Production Cel from Movie”. Clearly marked on the package that it’s from tv series…

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/77388361/ariel-the-little-mermaid-animation-art

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • ebinard
      July 18, 2012 at 11:58 am

      and it has a price tag of $280 still visible on the back of the cel…which I think is still way too much for that disney crapola!

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

      • CrabOfDoom
        July 18, 2012 at 5:34 pm

        Indeed. How that cel was ever considered on-model enough to be committed to film, I’ll never know.

        Thumb up Thumb down +3

      • Zefram Cockring
        July 21, 2012 at 6:15 am

        Disney movie production cels are hard to come by. TV shows not so much. I have a Tigger cel from a TV show that was $20.

        The “cels” they sell at Disney stores are not production ones.

        Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • mystic_eye_cda
      July 18, 2012 at 8:21 pm

      Wait… they made a Little Mermaid TV Series? How did I not know this?

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

      • rhapsody98
        July 19, 2012 at 4:07 pm

        It wasn’t all bad, actually. It introduced the Lobster Mobster Mob, and Ariel’s first boyfriend Urchin, and even had her sisters play more important roles.

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • torriblezone
      July 18, 2012 at 9:08 pm

      And only $1400.

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  24. dinolover77
    July 18, 2012 at 11:37 am

    Thats it. Im marking up all of my items by at least 1000 bucks.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  25. rumpledtulip
    July 18, 2012 at 11:38 am

    I thought the “reveal” was a hand holding a dick in the reflection on the clock face. Am I the only one who sees it? This place has tainted my innocent eyes. “Made in China” doesn’t even register, I’m too busy looking for the hidden body parts!

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

    • ebinard
      July 18, 2012 at 11:46 am

      that’s not a dick, its a kodak funsaver.

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

    • LeeLooDallas
      July 18, 2012 at 11:49 am

      Yeah, I thought we might have another Doxie/mirror situation on our hands.

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

      • Stretch65
        July 18, 2012 at 5:47 pm

        Doxy/mirror/boobs – you left out the best parts

        Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • Mugsy Doodle
      July 18, 2012 at 11:50 am

      First, you’re NOT seeing a hand holding a dick.

      Second, you’re NOT seeing a taint.

      Third, I’M seeing someone on their knees giving a blow job, but the recipient is turned away, perhaps in shame? I don’t know. The picture is that clear.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

      • Mugsy Doodle
        July 18, 2012 at 11:50 am

        is NOT that clear.

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

      • Angel Laveaux
        July 18, 2012 at 12:50 pm

        I see naked people.

        Thumb up Thumb down +7

      • Midnight Rambler
        July 18, 2012 at 10:59 pm

        Damn, this place has really corrupted you guys. Now I’m worried for myself.

        Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • VeganVulva
      July 18, 2012 at 12:08 pm

      You are not alone.

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

    • Sour_Melissa87
      July 18, 2012 at 12:25 pm

      Odd, I only saw the backwards YouTube logo in the face.

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

  26. BillsBayou
    July 18, 2012 at 11:39 am

    The finest of jewelry shops sells the finest ararm crocks in the world.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  27. ebinard
    July 18, 2012 at 11:45 am

    I guess “cheap silver plated, with most of the plating rubbed off, made in china clock” just didn’t jive as well with her asking price. No question why the love who gifted her this clock is an ex now!

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  28. BillsBayou
    July 18, 2012 at 11:46 am

    You have to examine EVERY DETAIL with this seller:
    Ariel / The Little Mermaid Animation Art Original Production Cel from Movie / by Clements & Musker / Walt Disney

    Note the use of the words “from Movie”. However, the text “…from the Walt Disney Television animated series” is clearly visible in one of the photos.

    It’s not from the movie, CompactQueen!

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

    • amcatanzaro
      July 18, 2012 at 11:58 am

      Most likely it’s a production cel from the series. It does say Disney Television.

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

      • BillsBayou
        July 18, 2012 at 12:10 pm

        Yes, but the product description says “Movie”. You have to find the word “Television” in the photos.

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • Mediocre Fred
        July 18, 2012 at 5:51 pm

        That was totally purchased on a cruise ship.

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

  29. Mugsy Doodle
    July 18, 2012 at 11:48 am

    Dear Etsy Seller: Calgon Water Softener should NEVER be used on sterling silver. You’d know that if you’d read the freaking label! And stop using a fake Chinese accent when you write your copy–we know the truth!
    .
    .
    .
    Oh, this is weird. In the middle of typing ^ I got the “Oops! Etsy had a hiccup” page. WTF?

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  30. Trickster
    July 18, 2012 at 11:54 am

    No, guys, you have this all wrong.

    In China is one of the most famous silversmiths who ever lived! He was so good, he was even able to make copper out of silver. That’s impressive. His signature style was to mis-align clocks and place huge square plates with tiny central openings right over them so you never know exactly what time it is.

    This is some classic In work right here. However, I’d honestly rather have this, which is nearly as functional:

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • LeeLooDallas
      July 18, 2012 at 11:59 am

      That text is missing an “h”.

      Thumb up Thumb down +22

  31. BillsBayou
    July 18, 2012 at 12:13 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -6

  32. squib
    July 18, 2012 at 12:13 pm

    I think her listings need to say “fine” a few more times, otherwise I’ll be confused. Is she saying they’re fine?

    Also, I wanted to punch her in the head as soon as I read “gifted to me.” Then she added “from a past love.” Now I’m just completely defeated. She’s used up all my anger.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

    • LeeLooDallas
      July 18, 2012 at 12:16 pm

      If you are gifted something from a reseller – is that “re-gifting”?

      Thumb up Thumb down +11

  33. TheEdwardianGirl
    July 18, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    My first thought was “garage sale find.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  34. Chronic Glitter Lung
    July 18, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    I’m always baffled by people who think that cheap mass-produced stuff is rare and expensive. And if it’s their stuff, I feel I have to nod, and be polite, while they show me the thing they found at Goodwill that would cost hundreds in a store…and no, it wouldn’t, but what am I going to say?

    Then they show up on Etsy, wanting twelve hundred bucks for a silver-plated clock that’s apparently been sanded, and was given to them by an ex who apparently was one hell of a con artist–that, or the seller thinks THEY are one hell of a con artist…I don’t know. I just don’t know. It makes me sad, and somewhat twitchy. Like people who think your CZ earrings are flawless diamonds.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

    • Mugsy Doodle
      July 18, 2012 at 2:11 pm

      I was at a yard sale once and I saw a figural bar of soap in the shape of a dinosaur in a Sinclair Oil box. It was most likely a giveaway back in the day (’60s?) when they did such things. Graphics were cute–typical ’60s style.

      Woman didn’t want to sell it because it was SO valuable–”It’s from the 1939 World’s Fair! British Petroleum would pay a fortune for this for their museum!”

      Uh-huh.

      It had “Uncle Louie 1939″ written in ballpoint ink on the box.

      So, it was from 1939 but with futuristic graphics? Awesome. Priceless. WTF.

      I got her to part with it for $3.

      My entire retirement plan rests on selling this rare find to the probably nonexistent BP museum someday.*

      *sarcasm.

      Thumb up Thumb down +18

      • lettucego
        July 18, 2012 at 2:17 pm

        Hmm, I’ll bet you could sell it to the Creation Museum along with the vintage Quilted Northern TP as “scientific evidence” that humans and dinosaurs frolicked together a few thousand years ago.

        Thumb up Thumb down +11

        • Mugsy Doodle
          July 18, 2012 at 2:39 pm

          Annnnd my retirement plans of a little 2-bedroom apartment just escalated to an entire floor in The Dakota on Central Park West. Thank you, Lettucego!

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          • lettucego
            July 18, 2012 at 2:51 pm

            Hey, no problem – I like sticking it to the repressive fundamentalists. Don’t forget us little people when you’re rubbing shoulders with the rich and famous! I believe one must have a toy breed dog of some sort – that’s all I know about the lifestyle.

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      • charlieq
        July 19, 2012 at 11:28 am

        WTF, you can always sell it on Etsy.

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      • Zefram Cockring
        July 21, 2012 at 6:24 am

        I had a Sinclair soap dinosaur in the early ’60s, so I think your estimate is correct. He was green and about four inches long.

        I also have a few 1939 World’s Fair souvenirs (and some from the 1893 and 1933 fairs. They are not as rare or expensive as people think, although I do love my Trylon and Perisphere ash trays and pencil sharpeners.

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  35. Chronic Glitter Lung
    July 18, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    And then on the same seller’s site, I find this:

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/77235186/antique-book-the-prince-of-the-house-of?ref=v1_other_2

    On Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/The-Prince-house-David-Ingraham/dp/B00086LFA0/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1342641554&sr=8-3&keywords=altemus+prince+david

    http://www.amazon.com/Prince-House-Altemus-Devotional-Series/dp/B0024WN3A6

    Now, apparently different bindings/editions, but if you’re charging $2,000 for a battered book from less than a hundred years ago, available in dozens of editions for anywhere from thirty to a hundred and ten bucks…

    It’s odd, because much of what I see on her site seems fairly sanely priced.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • JuicyLucy
      July 18, 2012 at 6:13 pm

      In my past life I dealt in antiquarian and specialist books, so I think I am qualified to say that this woman is delusional. It has taken me 30 seconds to find an 1887 copy in similar condition for $US4.04, plus postage.

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

  36. Irishyankee
    July 18, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    This makes baby Mao cry!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  37. The Grim Piddler
    July 18, 2012 at 1:24 pm
    • Midnight Rambler
      July 18, 2012 at 11:05 pm

      Silver plated, too. Also note that all the other ones on that page specifically say “Made in England by Carrs”, but the one that matches this listing just says “By Carrs of Sheffield”.

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

  38. ifyousquintjustright
    July 18, 2012 at 1:25 pm

    I have many many of Madein China’s pieces. His delicate tiny hands get the best detail. I did not know how valuable his work was until now.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  39. J_CF4L
    July 18, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    OK ignoring that it’s not handmade, silver, or ‘fine’… she says VINTAGE. Which means 25 years old (according to Etsy’s rules). Did her past love give it to her 25 years ago? Or did he buy it for her at the finest of garage sales?

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • angel drawers
      July 18, 2012 at 2:15 pm

      Nice catch! Unless he bought it used, she’s held onto a memento of her past love for 25 years and suddenly decided she doesn’t give a crap anymore.

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  40. mamazog
    July 18, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    Imagine my disappointment as the picture got bigger and BIGGER. I kept looking at the glass and waiting for the image of a naked person to emerge. Second enlargement I was pretty sure I saw a little fellatio on the way. Well, my secret’s out. I could never see the fucking dolphin in the optical illusion print at Spencer Gifts, either. Of course I always stayed stock still and finally exclaimed, “Ah ha! There it is!” Pretty reminiscent of married sex, if memory serves.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  41. thecreightonberyl
    July 18, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    He went to the Finest Jewelry Store and didn’t buy her any British Sterling Cologne?

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  42. HermitTheFrog
    July 19, 2012 at 12:08 am

    *GASP* It’s gone! No longer available, kaput, vanished. Did highly desirable, extremely well-made, fine vintage lover return to claim his treasure? Did the clock restart at his touch? So many questions. I won’t be able to sleep until I convo seller.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

    • talulahgosh
      July 19, 2012 at 5:38 am

      i think that’s my favorite part about these etsy posts–that when regretsy calls someone out on their scheme, they take their shit down. makes me wonder if they’re somewhere starting a flame war about regretsy. i wish i knew because i love those blogs. the butthurt really makes my day.

      /did i just write that last sentence?

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

  43. Lola
    July 19, 2012 at 6:53 am

    Not only is she selling some poor quality non-vintage crap, but she also fancies herself an artist. Check out this “Gorgeous” necklace!!!

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/81133676/hmmm-gorgeous-original-art-necklace-by

    I wouldn’t spend $4 on that, let alone $40+

    In fairness I will say that she does have some actual vintage pieces at ok prices…however it’s glaringly obvious that she hasn’t got a clue as to what she actually has, or how to price it correctly. She’s got a Madonna & Christ Child button listed as an “Antique Coronation Pinback”. I’m not even Catholic and I can tell it’s Mary & Jesus. FFS. And “antique” is by definition something that is at least 100 years old. I’ve now used up all my angry too.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • redministapler
      July 19, 2012 at 7:12 am

      i’m scared

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • talulahgosh
      July 19, 2012 at 7:42 am

      omg. i can’t believe that hasn’t made regretsy yet. if it weren’t for the outrageous price, i would buy every friend i had one of these.

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  44. androgynous emo hipster douchebag
    July 19, 2012 at 8:57 pm

    Ooh, I am a HUGE fan of Maiden and China. Their OOAK, symbolism-full artwork is so inspiring. Although, I must say I am partical to their ‘happymeal toy’ period, circa 1992.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  45. Cygnet
    July 20, 2012 at 8:45 am

    This rant is pointless, but it will make me feel better so there!
    People taking pictures of reflective objects, please at least take the YouTube sticker off your camera!
    Stickers reflecting on the object being photographed is one of my biggest pet peeves.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

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