Well, I am sitting in Berlin reading and looking at this, and I reckon, by the artefacts left in this city, that if Eva had had a chance this would not have been it.
I, DarkSock, am now regrettably compelled to share my combination Olestra/World War 2 Haiku collection:
.
Seig Heil Olestra
Anal leaks uber alles
Heil der Farterland
.
Hitler in brown shorts
Hirohito Frito spurts
Olestra Axis
.
Aryan junk food
Stains will last a thousand years
Wagner butt thunder
.
Explosions at dawn
Pearl Harbor in my Jockeys
Olean sneak attack
.
Paratroops revealed
Olestra drips over France
Invasion repelled
The meaning behind any piece of modern artwork is derived as much from the viewer’s interpretation as from the artist’s intention.
So another way to answer your question would be: Do you think Hitler is the shit? Because if you’re willing to purchase the painting, the artist would probably be cool with your thinking that.
CollectorOfWaywardRacistWhiteCousins
July 17, 2012 at 11:49 am
In terms of quality of artwork…I feel a LOT better about how I represent perspective. That floor looks like it’s very steeply sloping, the boots look made out of paper (and like duck feet i.e. no thickness in the shoe), the swastika pattern on the wall behind the toliet does not recede or flatten although that wall is supposed to be perpendicular to the other, and DAMN IT THE STUPID HAT IS BELOW OUR LINE OF VISION (the horizon line) AND THUS WE SHOULD SEE THE TOP OF THE GODDAMNED HAT. They couldn’t even do the hat right. I hope this person isn’t really left handed. I’m a lefty and this fucking embarasses me. They couldn’t even do a tongue in cheek genocide-dictator on the hole portrait right! Someone needs to watch some fucking tutorials and sketch from posemaniacs for 2 years!
By far the most disturbing part of this is not the fact that someone painted Hitler taking a shit…it’s gotta be the fact that they actually thought about how Hitler’s bathroom is decorated.
Oh no, I’ve been here since the very beginning. It was just that a lot of things we see here _could_ be seen in someone’s collection…no matter how bizarre. This, however, I couldn’t imagine anyone displaying it, even as a joke.
People apparently took me much more serious than I had intended to be.
If you think this is offensive, please take my advice and never, EVER click on anything that is tagged “goatse” or “blue waffle”. You’ll thank me later.
Agreed. I’ve managed to weather most of the gross out vids/pics, but Tub Girl and Two Girls, One Cup are the only ones that literally made me gag and X out of the window ASAP.
If this had been him on the posters and the parades, and all my countrymen still fell for it, the war should have been over in 6 days and I’m gonna rewrite propaganda music forever.
“It’s a short way to Tipperary…”
In college Psych 101 I learned that Hitler had only one testicle. This has been known to correlate with an interest in completion / perfection / structure — for example, such people often become architects.
There’s no proof either way– Hitler’s doctor, Morrell, had more access to Hitler’s body than anyone and even he wasn’t allowed to go down there. It was his response during interrogation.
What we DO know, however, is Hitler had horrendous digestive problems, and this picture isn’t far from the truth. He had some kind of insane IBS and horrible gas, and was in a great deal of pain. It’s a mathematical and historical certainty that at some point Hitler had a cringing, sweat-inducing shit in uniform. Probably several times.
There are some excellent books– my favorite is a biography of Eva Braun– I review it on the blog that’s linked in my name.
“An item for the REAL PATRIOT. Something for those who think the flag still stands for FREEDOM!”…An item people stand on an patriotically wipe the dogshit off their shoes before entering your very patriotic domicile.
It’s an item about as respectful as using the flag to patch the crotch of some stank hippie’s pants…People don’t respect doormats.
I’m glad it clarifies that it’s “an ORIGINAL” oil painting of Hitler taking a shit. At first, I was sure it was a copy of all those other paintings of Hitler taking a shit.
My mother used to swear blind that Hitler got off shitting on Eva Braun’s chest. I never found out how she knew this or why she was so convinced it was true, but I think she would have looked at this painting and gone “You see? I told you. He was into shit”.
Mea culpa if this has already been acknowledged, but as per the picture Adolph isn’t wearing underpants. I never would have taken him for a free-baller.
July 16, 2012 at 1:41 pm
Ooh, something for my daughter for her bat mitzvah!
July 16, 2012 at 1:41 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 16, 2012 at 1:41 pm
Everyone knows why Hitler used the brown pants.
July 16, 2012 at 10:51 pm
I, DarkSock, am now regrettably compelled to share my combination Olestra/World War 2 Haiku collection:
.
Seig Heil Olestra
Anal leaks uber alles
Heil der Farterland
.
Hitler in brown shorts
Hirohito Frito spurts
Olestra Axis
.
Aryan junk food
Stains will last a thousand years
Wagner butt thunder
.
Explosions at dawn
Pearl Harbor in my Jockeys
Olean sneak attack
.
Paratroops revealed
Olestra drips over France
Invasion repelled
July 16, 2012 at 1:41 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 16, 2012 at 2:37 pm
The meaning behind any piece of modern artwork is derived as much from the viewer’s interpretation as from the artist’s intention.
So another way to answer your question would be: Do you think Hitler is the shit? Because if you’re willing to purchase the painting, the artist would probably be cool with your thinking that.
July 16, 2012 at 3:37 pm
Artwork is such a strong word there…
Also, no, I don’t. So no worry of me purchasing this item.
July 16, 2012 at 4:35 pm
What if we sweeten the deal and throw in a bunch of terrible crafts that look like vaginas?
July 17, 2012 at 11:49 am
In terms of quality of artwork…I feel a LOT better about how I represent perspective. That floor looks like it’s very steeply sloping, the boots look made out of paper (and like duck feet i.e. no thickness in the shoe), the swastika pattern on the wall behind the toliet does not recede or flatten although that wall is supposed to be perpendicular to the other, and DAMN IT THE STUPID HAT IS BELOW OUR LINE OF VISION (the horizon line) AND THUS WE SHOULD SEE THE TOP OF THE GODDAMNED HAT. They couldn’t even do the hat right. I hope this person isn’t really left handed. I’m a lefty and this fucking embarasses me. They couldn’t even do a tongue in cheek genocide-dictator on the hole portrait right! Someone needs to watch some fucking tutorials and sketch from posemaniacs for 2 years!
July 18, 2012 at 4:59 pm
It’s primative volksart in the style of Großmutter Moises.
July 16, 2012 at 1:42 pm
Wrong arm, too. What, is he a hipster now.
July 16, 2012 at 8:40 pm
I hadn’t even noticed that, but now it’s even worse.
Thanks.
July 16, 2012 at 8:42 pm
I notice the watermark says “The Left-Handed Monkey”, so maybe that explains it.
July 16, 2012 at 1:43 pm
I’m thinking this is a complete win. I would totally hang this painting in my bathroom.
July 16, 2012 at 1:43 pm
By far the most disturbing part of this is not the fact that someone painted Hitler taking a shit…it’s gotta be the fact that they actually thought about how Hitler’s bathroom is decorated.
New challenge for Design Star?
July 16, 2012 at 1:44 pm
Would that be the White Race Challenge?
July 16, 2012 at 1:43 pm
What? You guys have never read Hitler’s startling book…Mein Kaka?
July 16, 2012 at 1:43 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 16, 2012 at 1:46 pm
OK so you must be new here too.
July 16, 2012 at 6:08 pm
Oh no, I’ve been here since the very beginning. It was just that a lot of things we see here _could_ be seen in someone’s collection…no matter how bizarre. This, however, I couldn’t imagine anyone displaying it, even as a joke.
People apparently took me much more serious than I had intended to be.
But that’s okay…I can deal.
July 16, 2012 at 1:56 pm
If you think this is offensive, please take my advice and never, EVER click on anything that is tagged “goatse” or “blue waffle”. You’ll thank me later.
July 16, 2012 at 2:29 pm
Or TUB GIRL. I’ve avoided that and Blue Waffle so far. Goatse, a la Regretsy is great. The original? No.
July 16, 2012 at 2:34 pm
oh my god! tub girl! that was… *gag*
July 16, 2012 at 2:51 pm
I’ll take your word for it.
July 16, 2012 at 6:03 pm
Agreed. I’ve managed to weather most of the gross out vids/pics, but Tub Girl and Two Girls, One Cup are the only ones that literally made me gag and X out of the window ASAP.
July 16, 2012 at 1:44 pm
Freaky. My friends and I were making bullshit movies last night with Nazis in them, and “Heil Shitler” was a recurring theme.
July 16, 2012 at 2:47 pm
It’s as if this painting were meant for you, huh?
July 16, 2012 at 1:44 pm
Either this wallpaper goes or I do.
July 16, 2012 at 1:45 pm
So that’s what Hitler’s bathroom looked like. I
neveralways wondered.July 16, 2012 at 1:45 pm
Try as he might, Hitler could not get his bowels to invade the toilet.
July 16, 2012 at 1:54 pm
Someone get that dictator a poop box, STAT!
July 16, 2012 at 1:47 pm
Seriously, who shits with their coat on? He took off the boots, but left the coat? It’s like Costanza in Bizzaro-world.
July 16, 2012 at 1:51 pm
The boots had to come off so he could grip with his toes!
July 16, 2012 at 1:47 pm
If this had been him on the posters and the parades, and all my countrymen still fell for it, the war should have been over in 6 days and I’m gonna rewrite propaganda music forever.
“It’s a short way to Tipperary…”
July 16, 2012 at 1:49 pm
Hitler removes his boots to shit. Who knew?
July 16, 2012 at 2:21 pm
Have you NEVER read a history text book?
Jesus…
July 16, 2012 at 1:51 pm
What bothers me most here… is the feet.
Hitler had some HUGE feet apparently… well… not HUGE… but freakishly wide.
How do they possibly fit in those stylish boots he needed to remove to, apparently, vacate his bowels.
July 16, 2012 at 1:52 pm
where is his left foot?
July 16, 2012 at 1:53 pm
wow…. good point…so many new questions!
How does he walk?
Why does he need two boots?
The list could go on!
July 16, 2012 at 2:12 pm
Why does he shave his legs?
July 16, 2012 at 2:34 pm
Why did he go commando? Heimler, I could understand, but Hitler?
July 16, 2012 at 4:45 pm
Underwear was invented by Jews as a place to hide money and yarmulkes from Nazis, Mugsy. Hitler hated underwear, panties, thongs and boxers.
July 16, 2012 at 1:57 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 16, 2012 at 2:22 pm
Hitler actually had both testicles. Mao, on the other hand, was a uni-baller.
July 16, 2012 at 2:32 pm
Hey, does it really matter what brand of ballpoint pens Mao used? I don’t see how that shows anything of the character of the man.
July 16, 2012 at 2:34 pm
The penis mightier than the sword.
July 17, 2012 at 5:22 pm
There’s no proof either way– Hitler’s doctor, Morrell, had more access to Hitler’s body than anyone and even he wasn’t allowed to go down there. It was his response during interrogation.
What we DO know, however, is Hitler had horrendous digestive problems, and this picture isn’t far from the truth. He had some kind of insane IBS and horrible gas, and was in a great deal of pain. It’s a mathematical and historical certainty that at some point Hitler had a cringing, sweat-inducing shit in uniform. Probably several times.
There are some excellent books– my favorite is a biography of Eva Braun– I review it on the blog that’s linked in my name.
July 17, 2012 at 5:58 pm
“The Lost Life of Eva Braun”– sorry, it’s the vicodin. And I’m not even saying that to sound cool- it really is.
July 22, 2012 at 7:42 pm
Aha, thanks for the correction!
July 16, 2012 at 2:33 pm
What bothers me most is the wallpaper on the wall behind the toilet.
PERSPECTIVE, PEOPLE.
July 16, 2012 at 8:44 pm
Two concepts:
1. That is a mirror, and Hitler, as well as the toilet, are vampires.
2. The bathroom actually continues behind him for a while. The entire High Command may be back there somewhere.
July 16, 2012 at 1:51 pm
If it weren’t for the swastikas, I’d have thought it was some random Chinese military official.
July 16, 2012 at 1:52 pm
Who is he trying to high-five?
July 16, 2012 at 7:03 pm
I was thinking more along the lines of the necessary defensive posture when the only open public stall doesn’t lock.
July 16, 2012 at 1:53 pm
Now I see what his problem was. He did not read on the crapper!
Why didn’t somebody bring him some damn magazines?!
July 16, 2012 at 1:55 pm
i don’t think hitler would’ve used a nazi flag as a shower mat, but i didn’t think this existed either – http://www.intlgiftshop.com/product/22237305/american-flag-small-doormat
soooo, i guess it’s plausible?
July 16, 2012 at 2:31 pm
“An item for the REAL PATRIOT. Something for those who think the flag still stands for FREEDOM!”…An item people stand on an patriotically wipe the dogshit off their shoes before entering your very patriotic domicile.
It’s an item about as respectful as using the flag to patch the crotch of some stank hippie’s pants…People don’t respect doormats.
July 16, 2012 at 1:55 pm
Sub-title of the painting: “The Invasion of Bowland”
July 16, 2012 at 2:08 pm
In an early sign of his grand intentions, on St Patrick’s day 1936 Hitler’s advanced troops annexed the wax ring, and closet flange.
July 16, 2012 at 1:55 pm
Looks like he’s having trouble with his shitzkrieg.
July 16, 2012 at 1:56 pm
If there ever were a spider on his wall, he’d never see it.
July 16, 2012 at 1:56 pm
That rug is so familiar… Looks like somebody’s been shopping at Anthropologie!
July 16, 2012 at 1:57 pm
I like the gallows toilet paper holder.
July 16, 2012 at 1:59 pm
He should be reading Mein Kampf.
July 16, 2012 at 2:03 pm
He should be reading “Everybody Poops”.
July 16, 2012 at 2:44 pm
(Unless They’re an Android.)
July 16, 2012 at 4:20 pm
July 16, 2012 at 3:19 pm
Das Poop!
July 16, 2012 at 3:52 pm
Scheisskommentar!
July 16, 2012 at 2:00 pm
Is this the first in the series of Genocidal Dictators on Toilets?
What’s next…Pol Trots?
July 16, 2012 at 2:11 pm
and then move on to:
Buttista
Ceausespoo
Sufarto
Mao Zedung
July 16, 2012 at 7:10 pm
Leon “The Back Door” Trotsky
July 16, 2012 at 2:02 pm
I’m glad it clarifies that it’s “an ORIGINAL” oil painting of Hitler taking a shit. At first, I was sure it was a copy of all those other paintings of Hitler taking a shit.
July 16, 2012 at 2:03 pm
I’d only consider buying if the belt matched the boots.
July 16, 2012 at 2:16 pm
Can we have this as a “view it in a room”? Like maybe Mel Gibsons house?
July 16, 2012 at 2:45 pm
July 16, 2012 at 2:53 pm
Someone give RG a cookie. WIN.
July 16, 2012 at 4:44 pm
A THOUSAND INTERNETS FOR YOU
July 16, 2012 at 2:31 pm
What really went on at the Beer Hall Putsch.
July 16, 2012 at 3:38 pm
The aftermath of the Beer Hall Putsch, surely? I mean, we all know what happens when you drink too much cheap nasty beer.
July 16, 2012 at 2:34 pm
I love this so much. I don’t have anything schmarmy to say; I adore this. Someone pass me $250.
July 16, 2012 at 2:35 pm
Silly Hitler. Kyle’s not in the bathroom. Why are you looking for him in there?
July 16, 2012 at 2:43 pm
What? No swastikas on the toilet paper? Because that’s really all they’re good for…
Also, he’s not heiling. He’s calling for his servants to wipe his ass.
July 16, 2012 at 2:44 pm
am i the only one who thought he was somehow making his poop go upwards through his body to magically exit his left palm in a puff of brown smoke?
July 17, 2012 at 11:22 am
Yes. You’re the only one.
July 16, 2012 at 2:46 pm
Boots off: check. One sock on: check. It’s all good except that the back of his jacket is curled under his ass and he is, presumably, shitting on it.
July 16, 2012 at 2:51 pm
Man, I hate when that happens, don’t you?
July 16, 2012 at 2:48 pm
Ich Bien Lieber Doody!
July 16, 2012 at 3:26 pm
Can someone gift this to the governor of Maine?
http://www.onlinesentinel.com/news/Governor-says-IRS-new-gestapo-in-radio-address.html
July 16, 2012 at 3:41 pm
Anyone else notice that his right knee looks like breasts? Anyone? Is it just me?
July 16, 2012 at 3:51 pm
oywey…
July 16, 2012 at 4:19 pm
My mother used to swear blind that Hitler got off shitting on Eva Braun’s chest. I never found out how she knew this or why she was so convinced it was true, but I think she would have looked at this painting and gone “You see? I told you. He was into shit”.
July 16, 2012 at 4:48 pm
Nice hat.
July 16, 2012 at 5:00 pm
I shared this on my Facebook wall. Not one comment or like…I need better friends.
July 16, 2012 at 5:21 pm
The Turd Reich?
July 16, 2012 at 6:05 pm
Mein Kampfstipation.
July 16, 2012 at 6:11 pm
This is strange and wonderful.
Maybe he should have put his favorite opera on to help relax him. It is, of course, die Freischeisse.
July 16, 2012 at 6:36 pm
So that’s how he invented his chemical warfare weapons!
July 16, 2012 at 8:08 pm
He’s a foot short.
July 17, 2012 at 3:28 am
Because nothing says “fine art” quite like painting the edges of a pre-stretched canvas.
July 17, 2012 at 6:40 am
Evidently, the fibre Hitler got from his partially vegetarian diet was not enough to ease the strain.
July 17, 2012 at 9:12 am
Mea culpa if this has already been acknowledged, but as per the picture Adolph isn’t wearing underpants. I never would have taken him for a free-baller.
July 17, 2012 at 9:32 am
♫ I haven’t been this happy since the end of number 2… ♫