This post first appeared on Regretsy on August 10, 2011.
This level of stupidity makes me want to black out.
I think this seller would prefer you say “African American” out.
The new rainbow??
- Native American
- Fake Tanner
If none present: African American
If all present: Caucasian
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White people don’t actually come from any place called Caucasia.
“The Caucasus mountains bound the Middle East on the north, and the real Caucasians are to some extent a liminal Middle Eastern population. “
The original classification was craniological, not pigmentation-related. It mutated over time.
Oh yes, the hair IS very realistic looking. Assuming you can suspend disbelief on the tiny black skeleton wearing a bowtie, a cowboy hat, and bridal garters on his wrists.
Because if you can do that, the hair just completes it.
I couldn’t find the hair. I’m not very good with puzzles.
There is a skelefro under the hat.
Get a an African-american man excited and I’ll show you he has a black bone!!
Gee, I’m amazed they missed Day of the Dead as a key-phrase. Or maybe they hate Mexicans. Santisima Muerte would not be amused.
It’s probably because she used that tag in all the rest of her listings. Really.
Suggested new category: Things That Are Not Dia De Los Muertos.
Slapping that name on a mass-produced resin silhouette that you glued into settings is something of an insult to real folk artists of the holiday.
At 15c per piece, free shipping, that’s a helluva markup (even with the price of pot-metal findings considered).
Well this is a little-known fact, but people of Spanish descent actually have chili sauce instead of blood.
Weird, I know!
And Russians have vodka.
And Regretsians have vodkavicodinnutellalatte.
The real travesty here is that a “Pimp” tag was not used. If ever there was an item that deserved it…that was literally the first word that popped into my head when I saw this.
the charred skeleton of a fancy cowboy that may or may not have been african american.
i can’t wait to hang that on nanna’s tree this year.
Does this person realize that African American’s skeletons are not dark?
My mother is a Professor of African American Studies, and this would really aggravate the fuck out of her. I’m gonna show her.
My mom’s white (just like me! Weird!) and I’ve had people say, when they find out what she does: “Your mom’s black?” or my favorite- “Your mom likes rap?” haha fucking idiots.
She would probably prefer to call them “fucking crackers”.
I had a student once who told the class that when he was a small child he believed that your poop was the color of your skin, ie, that white people would poop beige.
OTOH, he was five years old when he believed this, and not selling anything on Etsy. Thanks be to God.
I had a colleague once who told me she believed, as a child, that people with green eyes saw the world with a green cast… Also not selling anything on Etsy. Apparently some people DO come to their senses.
Maybe they mean that it was made by an African American artist? Like arts and crafts that are made by “actual Navajo artisans” and such? But even then the crafts being sold usually have some kind of cultural significance that would require the use of the label. And I suppose there is the largely forgotten history of the black cowboys who moved out west after the end of slavery and… fuck it I don’t know. I can’t explain this shit. I give up.
True story-my sister was friends with a Doctor who told her once that when the time came for them to learn how to do human dissection in medical school, the first African-American corpse they got, the guy he was partnered with refused to believe the man was actually black because “His bones are white.” According to this moron, Mexicans had brown bones and people of oriental extraction had yellow bones (because that’s what they taught him in church). I gather he was ejected from the program not long afterwards when my sister’s friend told his superior what he believed.
So yes, there apparently ARE people out there that stupid.
How did this guy make into med school in the first place?
You’d be amazed the people that they let into medical school. Thankfully, most of the really stupid ones get weeded out before they can do any damage.
I work in a medical office, I see Residence come and go and Doctors who can’t even get all the buttons on their lab coat straight. You can graduate from some Med schools with a C- or D average and be called Doctor… SCARY!
There’s a music video on youtube about it– “Just Pass”
What do you call the guy that graduates last in his class from med school?
Really, you can graduate with a D average? I thought even most undergrad programs required at least a C average to graduate?
They usually end up practicing Homeopathy or selling Power Balance bracelets in the mall.
Or doing infomercial endorsements for weight loss drugs.
At what kind of a church do they waste time on weird ideas about what color people’s bones are? Don’t they have, like Bible study or something to do?
What was this, the First Church of Bad Anatomy?
The Mormons used to (maybe still do?) believe that skin color is related to purity. An ex-Mormon related that his local leader would say how he had been to Guatemala and “could see their skin get lighter by the minute” as he preached to them.
Mormons believe (or at least they used to) that dark skin is the inherited “mark of Cain” that God put on Cain when he killed Abel.
I gather that this “belief” has gone the way of polygamy for the majority of Mormons. Retcon FTW, I guess.
I lived in rural Utah for about a dozen years. Let me assure you that there are LOTS of LDS who still believe that dark skin is cursed. And that’s only the beginning of a whole host of their wacky folk beliefs . . . .
What do you expect from a religion based off the idea that an angle named Moroni (Moron-I?) gave some dude golden plates.
Oooh, I’m reading a book about this! The first time Moroni gave him the plates he also gave him a pair of glasses to wear while translating the plates. To his buddy. His buddy lost the pages of the translation and then …for some reason I can’t remember…Moroni took the stuff away.
Then he made Joseph repent for a few years and do some stuff and then, when Moroni gave back the plates he didn’t give back the glasses, so Joseph had to translate by sitting next to the plates while sticking his face into a hat with a rock in it.
I’m an ex-Mormon, and I have to say the official church name should really have “retcon” somewhere in there.
…Maybe replacing “Christ”. The Church of Jesus Retcon of Latter-day Saints.
Anyone else have the “Joseph Smith” song from South Park playing in their head now?
what in all
Glitter Lung has a point: that is a bizarrely specific form of stupid. Needlessly specific, really. What the hell was wrong with that church?
I would guess that would be the same church that taught their teens in the 70′s that the band KISS stood for Knights In Satan’s Service.
I’ll take a lifetime of good ole’ fashioned free-floating Catholic guilt over even 10 minutes of that kind of stupid.
KINGS in Satan’s Service, dammit!
I believe it was Beavis that observed how cool that band was…for a bunch of mimes…
Growing up, my mom wouldn’t let me listen to our local radio station, which was incidentally called KISS 106.1 and played mostly modern music (still does), because of the association with that acronym. She wouldn’t have it when I tried to explain the band and the radio station were unrelated. Hm.
Yeah sorry, I’ve got to call bullshit on that story. It’s an urban legend that’s been going around for years, and it’s always a friend of a relative or a relative of a friend.
In that case, it balances out the “black people really name their kids Shithead and pronounce it Shah-teed” urban legend.
Let’s make up some more urban legends about racist idiots and spread them around!
It’s not always a friend of a friend anymore. Thanks to the internet, I know several people who claim they personally went to school with Shithead.
In an “Africa America” these are all the rage….
This reminds me of Halloween at Studio 54.
Good one. I went “Halloween at Chippendale’s”, myself.
Who would put this on a Christmas tree? I mean aside from the African American steampunk- are the neighbors talking about me because there are no skeletons on my tree?
Granted, I would put this on a Christmas tree, but that’s because we also had a Hellboy action figure for a tree topper and a couple of unidentifiable toy animals (possibly moose) made out of fraying hot pink rabbit hair. Our tree is decorated in all manner of odds and ends and bad kitsch.
I like the idea of unidentifiable ornaments. “What are those?”
“Umm…moose? Elephants, possibly. Probably not an alligator, although you never know.”
I would, if it were in a brass finish and had a monocle and bowler instead of a cowboy hat. You know, something actually steampunk.
Magic Ike: The Dark Side of Male Stripping
When I said “Take it all off!” I was really only thinking of clothes. Points for enthusiasm though.
These 2 comments win the internetz.
I’m with Lady Elizabeth Birdbite. I’m less perplexed by the Steampunk and the African American labels than I am about the seller trying to pass this shit off as a Xmas ornament.
Growing up, my Grandparents brought offshore workers in from Jamaica to work on their farm. It always boggled my curiosity as to why their palms and nailbeds were the same colour as ours. Finally, I asked one of them and my naïve and sheltered mother almost had a heart attack and whisked me away before I got an answer, other than jolly Jamaican laughter.
That was the extent of my curiosity about the difference between black people and white people. I pretty much assumed that everything else was exactly the same.
And I was able to draw that conclusion at the age of 5.
We know a Fijiian lady. She was the first black person I ever saw (growing up in the rural Northwest, there weren’t many around). I’d never seen an afro before. I told her that I loved her hair because it looked like a bird’s nest. I think I was about 5 then, too. She just laughed.
When I was about 4 my fam went to visit my grandmother and I met a little African american girl who was neighbors with my Granny. We played with sidewalk chalk and had fun. I noticed she had an outie belly button and I had an innie. I was convinced as a little girl that black people have outies and white people had innies.
When I was four my parents put me into daycare. One of the ladies there was a black woman and Mom explained that people came in all shapes, sizes and colors and this was a “black lady”. Mom says I looked her up and down and said, “But Mommy, she’s not black—she’s brown!”
The one lady thought it was absolutely hysterical and that story made the rounds for quite a while.
Poor little ol’ Spike Lee…
Who shat J.R.
I think this seller is gas-lighting us and that’s the Steampunk aspect.
“Gaslighting” really should be a tag on Etsy. It would save Helen a lot of time.
Hank:Where the heck did they put African America?
Dean: I don’t know Hank, but it’s not on any of my charts.
It actually says African “America.” Doesn’t that mean that all or parts of America itself is African?
Besides, how do you know that a skeleton is American, other than all those Clovis people and what not.
So, I’m the only person who sees Cleavon Little as Sheriff Bart in “Blazing Saddles,” lovingly recreated for your festive Dia de los Muertos tree?
Good! More sweet, sweet black sugar skulls for ME!
I thought the SAME thing!! It’s as if Sheriff Bart had a heaping helping of FABULOUS! (jazzhands!!)
I love that movie forever.
‘Scuse me while I whip this out.
That’s the first thing I thought of! Just found this clip –
It looks like Memento mori for Willy The Pimp ™:
LOL Nothing represents African America like a black skeleton in a cowboy hat. LOL What is up with these people?
The way you said it really makes me sad. I wonder if this person seriously feels this way?
Maybe this some kind of weird promo for DJANGO UNCHAINED?
Well if you won’t hang it on your tree, you could hang it on your Steampunk Octopus…
This doesn’t make it Steampunk?
Since the seller’s going hogwild with stereotypes, the 6 1/2 inches is really not adding to the believability of the black skeleton.
Ah, yes. The African-American Steampunk New-Age Gothic genre.
Black bones aside, there is simply no fucking image in existence that could accompany that set of keywords and not be complete bullshit.
“…no fucking image in existence that could accompany that set of keywords and not be complete bullshit.”
That sounds like a challenge to me!
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