- Submitted by Jennifer
I can’t wait for the next X-Mensch movie!!
I would assume the central character would be Sy Clops.
It took me a minute to see that it said “CAPITAN America”. I like that a lot. It’s impossible to say without a foreign accent.
I don’t know why it posted up here.
Captain America was maybe assigned to this unit:
Note that The Fonz also served here.
Or maybe this one:
Well, this ought to get that whole Palestine thing sorted now.
The PLO wouldn’t like the Incredible Schmuck when he’s angry.
The Regretsian who can Jew-up Thor for a pun will have my everylasting respect.
The Might Thorah?
Thor’s been a bit lonely and, well, horny as a god can get. He comes down to Earth one Friday morning and finds a really hot woman and drags her to a cave. No words are spoken. Fucks her around the clock. They never stop fucking. Sunday night rolls around and he’s ready to leave and thinks that perhaps his mighty sperm has impregnated this mere mortal and she must know who is the father of her child.
Thor: “I am Thor!”
Woman, lisping: “You’re thor? I won’t be able to sith for a week!”
Hmmm, I don’t think he’s circumcised….
We’d have to see him naked to be sure!
I’ll wait right here.
I’ll be in my bunk.
After over a year of lurking, I registered just to like the Firefly reference.
That’s a hammer? You call THAT a hammer? Listen, my brother makes hammers, nice ones, and I’m sure he can give you a good deal on a really good hammer.
You already named your hammer? Mohel-what?
Hurt on the job? Can’t get benefits? Call the law firm of Thor “THE HAMMER” Shapiro”
Come to think of it, Judah “The Hammer” Maccabee was nicknamed as such for the way he fucked shit up to save the day for Hanukkah.
don’t forget Loki!
Oh, please. Loki’s such a Gentile.
This would have made that Captain America movie much better. “You promise you guys won’t tell my mother I’m on a motorcycle?”
Would also make the complete lack of swastikas even more silly.
“Capitan America: Stop With the Kicking, Already!”
You owe me a new keyboard. Mine has Manischewitz sprayed all over it.
It’s okay, it’s kosher.
My boyfriend insists that getting on a motorcycle is against his religion. He’s Jewish and his mother is still alive. True fact.
Reminds me of an Israeli saying: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. What does kill you, makes your mother stronger. D:
I had a secret motorcycle in college. When the dean of the school called her about my abuse of certain substances which were affecting my grades, I deflected her by admitting to owning and riding a motorcycle. She forgot all about the other thing.
And the fact that I won’t let my spouse or my kid get a motorcycle is because I’ve buried too many friends already, NOT because of my Jewish heritage. Really.
No, really. I mean it.
Sigh…that is all too true. We’ve been lucky in that the only things our friends have lost (yet) is a lot of skin and, in one case, a foot.
When a 21-year-old kid on his brand-new Harley was dragged a mile down the road by some drunk woman driving on the wrong side of the road at noon and he had to have a closed-casket funeral because there wasn’t enough wax in the world to make him look presentable, I decided that New Jersey is not a place where you ride.
I’d seriously reevaluate motorcycle ownership if we lived someplace you could ride all year, and that wasn’t so densely populated by idiots who can’t drive for shit. That’s why I bought a 17-year-old Mercedes for my kid as her first car. I want her to be on the winning side of the kinetic energy equation should she become involved in an accident.
Volvos are also good. Those things are built out of something tougher than ordinary metal.
When I first saw the picture, I was sure these were pasties, not earrings. Etsy has failed me. I am disappoint.
Ooooo.. Jewish Pasties! Perfect for Seder!
That would make my dough rise.
Wait… But they Kosher for Passover?
ARE THEY Kosher for Passover. Oy.
Depends on whether you are lactating or not.
And if you’ve made sure to keep them separate from the meat.
Well, they are made from upcycled lobster shell, so probably.
I was thinking yahmukas
Not only can’t Idiot tell the difference between the five and six point star cookie cutters, Idiot doesn’t know how to roll out even clay snakes and didn’t even smooth out the places where they were joined together to make circles. Idiot needs remedial arts and crafts.
Exactly what I was thinking but unable to put into words. Thanks!
but the “stars” are in perfect shape XD
Due to the cookie cutter~ I don’t even want to imagine the shoddy craftsmanship of them if they were hand made.
I truly think that polymer clay was sent here by the Devil himself. That bullshit’s responsible for more garbage being made than any other material since popsicle sticks.
You’re probably right, although glue guns get a lot of the blame too.
As a Avengers fan the idea is wonderful – too made she f’d up so bad. It’s looks like a 10 yo made it – I’m being nice since I am basing it on my non crafting kids.
Idea : good
Execution: complete fail
Don’t insult 10 year olds like that. Most 10 year olds are awesome with playdough. They’d to a lot better than that.
I’m glad the “artist” specified that the shields are made with polymer clay. My first guess was chewing gum.
P.S., “The Incredible Schmuck” is hot.
Thank you, Regretsy. I can’t look at concentric circles anymore without imagining two fists stretching out some poor anus. So all I see above is bloody tissue, exposed sinew and a sheriff’s badge that went in too far.
But just think how sheltered your life was before you learned that one’s anus can be stretched to the circumference of a cantaloupe.
Then think of how jaded you’ve become when you can read “one’s anus can be stretched to the circumference of a cantaloupe” and the only thing that registers is that some cantaloupe sounds really good right now.
As somebody who works extensively with clay, spending tedious hours rolling and flattening and smoothing each bead and piece obsessively until all seams and thumbprints and flaws are smoothed out, I think I’m more offended by the fact that this piece of horseshit was thrown together in 5 minutes, than the cultural ignorance. Somebody… really wants money for this fucking thing. I need to go choke this bitch, for her own good. I made crap that looked better than this when I was 8 years old; probably because I gave two shits about it looking remotely like the real thing.
Let’s be fair. Maybe the seller isn’t lazy or untalented, but simply staying true to the art of handmade jewelry. As she states in her shop description, “One of the characteristics of handmade jewelry is that it’s not perfect. It is special, unique, and one of a kind.”
Or, it could be what you said.
From the same chick
What in the hell is a Molce?
If they could use a cookie-cutter for the star… why not use one for the circles…
It also looks like it is made out of either candy, or something I would’v used to make a diarama in 2nd grade…
I would completely eat taffy that looked like that. Someone’s probably making some somewhere, even. They already have red, white and blue stripey kinds.
Ironman is totes a Jewish surname.
It’d have to be something like Eiesernmann, no?
I believe 2 ns at the end of a name is German. One is Jewish. (but I could be wrong)
It was Eisenman in the old country. They changed it at Ellis Island.
Most of the superheros’ names are. Spidermann, Aquaman & Superman, Attorneys at Law. You have to get the first syllable really accented though. Batman is a Turkish name.
Jazzmoth! Many years ago, my dad went as Bert Spiderman, Attorney at Law. Suit, hat, peyos, and business card. It’s killing me I don’t have a picture scanned right now.
Jon Stewart made a similar joke back in ’99, when he gave advice to Spiderman:
My brother and I always wanted to see a Jewish action figure to be G.I Joe’s sidekick. He would be G.I. Jew: A Real American Hebrew.
Oooh this is my chance to flaunt my own Captain America craft:
Concentric circles: mostly not that hard.
Beautiful work–and nice modeling, too!
Classy and full of superwin!
Awesome! Also, I really want that dress.
Love her yalmukah.
HOLY SHIT that is my absolute favorite dress pattern, I’ve made two and have the fabric ready for two more. It’s so comfy and flattering, isn’t it?
Lovely! Who knew they made red and white-striped bobby pins?
Capitan? Wouldn’t that make him Sephardi?
I love when Aquamohel and The Green Lender take on their arch nemesis Gefilte Fish at the old diamond mine. I plotzed when I saw that episode.
Oy, what fun.
I remember that one. That Gefilte Fish is a real dick.
He smells like shit, too.
I’m also a big fan of Benman and his sidekick Reuben, Goy Wonder.
They hung out with the Silver Shlepper.
How about the Silver Schtupper? Oh, wait. That’s a porn. Never mind.
Or a all-Jewish Steely Dan cover band.
I prefer this version myself.
First to notice that the Incredible Schmuck is in the jewelry district! Outstanding detail! Awesome stereotyping!
There’s really nothing like a good stereotype. Makes you feel alive, and douchy.
For some reason, this reminded me of a Simpsons episode where they suggest Twilight was originally a love story about a golem:
Been done, sort of: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/He,_She_and_It
DEFINITELY a better love story than Twilight.
A golem named Schmuel (they just re-ran that episode on Sunday)
I’m disappointed that nobody’s mentioned yet that the Thing from The Fantastic Four actually is Jewish. Even had a second Bar Mitzvah 13 years after becoming the Thing. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thing_(comics)#Religion
He’s not the only one. There’s actuall quite a few.
Here’s some that are bi-faith (one parent Jewish)
Well, it makes sense if you think about it, at least where Marvel is concerned. Stan Lee is Jewish.
Is the center front one Kitty Pryde? I have to ask because I can only tell females in the Ultimate art style apart by skin color and/or if they have an outstanding feature such as wings.
It probably is. She is supposed to be Jewish.
How did I not know that Nite Owl is Jewish? I’m disappointed in myself.
Where’s Lipp Man and the double-headed avain superhero Co-Hen?
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Where’s Lipp Man and the double-headed avian superhero Co-Hen?
It was funnier the first time.
Whaddaya gonna do?
I’m surprised and frankly disappointed no one beat me to this:
When Captain Abramovitz throws his mighty shield
All those who choose to oppose the Torah must yield…
Arthur is the Tick’s sidekick. He is a former accountant who sets out to become a superhero after he buys a flying moth suit at an auction. In many ways, Arthur is the most interesting character in the series, as he is the straight man who is often the victim of the Tick’s quirks. He is the ‘brains’ behind their superheroic duo, and though he is insecure not very mighty, he is defiantly a crimefighter.
Defiantly? As in, he will defy the SHIT out of your demands?
“I loved that movie.” – then you’d think they would’ve paid attention to the details, but no…
If these were done well, I’d totally wear them.
And a Jewish-star/Captain America yarmukah.
Seems silly to enforce the spelling of transliterated words. No matter how I English-spell a Yiddish word, I’ll still be using the wrong alphabet.
Wait, these are (roughly) circular. How can they have a diameter and a length?
the key word is “roughly”
they can have both because they are lumps, not perfect circles.
How did they get the stars so smooth and leave the rest so… lumpy?
Cookie cutter for the star, 5 year old for the rest. Duh.
You know, I actually messaged the seller and asked her about it (very politely!). She was very nice in response, and told me that it was a mistake, and she hadn’t realized it at the time. She said she has one with the ‘regular star’, and can make them custom.
Which really just makes me wonder: If you know it’s a mistake, why is that still your primary image for the item??
It looks like she took them down for now. They were actually pretty cute – just a mistake.
Ooooo, custom! The slash through symbol for “no parking”? Hello Kitty? Goatse?
Schmuck Smash! I mean “Schmash”!
I almost had a heart attack, I thought for a second it was the Captain America earrings I sell…minus the Judaism reference.
I’m waiting for the inevitable crossover:
I LAUGHED SO HARD IT HURTS.
…yeah, i’m a bit late to this but I’m rather amused by the Incredible Schmuck because of the definition of “schmuck.”
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