Quick let me make an Easter basket out of this!!!
I don’t know whether to be surprised that the highlight says it all, or throw up! We Regretsians are getting jaded!
Regretsy? Pfft. The furrier at the Maryland Renaissance faire sells these, but with little handles so you can carry them as baskets. The one on their counter is full of lollipops.
one of my best friends’ dad’s had one of these growing up. he’d fill it full of jelly beans, we’d only eat the ones in the middle.
Place it prominently in the fridge and fill it with unwrapped white chocolate Hershey’s Kisses.
Its a bag! Its a dish! It’s a scrotum so it can be use multi-purpose. A perfect addition to any Super Bowl party. “hey could you pass me that dish that has the chips in it? Do I smell oyster dip
Just the Rocky Mountain variety.
Looks like a Beefeater hat. Could work on a Barbie.
I think you’re underestimating the size a bit.
I was also thinking hat, but more for a baby than for a doll. It is probably best that I’m infertile…
Looks kinda like Gary Oldman’s Dracula wig.
I thought the exact thing when I first saw it.
It’d look better as a codpiece. A sack for your sack.
Yo dawg, I herd you like sacks…
…and I can see your nuts
You’re gonna love my nuts.
Candy dish? Huh. To me it screams, “Put nuts in me!”. Yeah, nut dish for sure.
You mean “Put nuts back in me!”
To serve a pair of avocados in.
A dish for your “fleet week” party and serving sea men
I’d use it to serve mayonnaise.
Or cream cheese fruit dip. For grapes.
I want it to serve Rocky Mountain Oysters in if only I could figure out how to make it stand up right.
That’s not candy, that’s Bull shi–or maybe not, but bull SOMETHING fer damn sure.
Bullocks. The word you’re looking for is bullocks.
she’s a Cylon, you know.
Boomer’s one hell of a saleswoman.
Photo’d on a mangy blue towel.
You’re not going to make Etsy front page until you get a white background, dude.
I was thinking barnwood is highly appropriate for this particular item
For the person who has everything: a hairy candy dish!
I was totes lookin for something to carry my rocks with handles in. Thanks!!
The first time I saw one of those was at an SCA event. I thought it was a hat. Nobody told me what it was until AFTER I HAD TRIED IT ON.
Are there photos? Please, PLEASE tell me there are photos!
This was in the pre-digital camera days. So, no photos. You’ll have to use your imagination..
How big was it? And what do they use them for in SCA events?
Making a dish that would only hold one Frito would seem a waste of time so the testicle whisperer stretches the scrotum much like tween boys are doing to their earlobes?!
Why am I always eating when I see these posts…WHY??
Well, if you’re anything like me:
1. You’re always eating; and
2. You’re always on the internet.
Eating while looking at Regretsy? That’s a rookie mistake.
If you want to be pro, make sure you have a cocktail at the ready before perusing these pages.
Or something with hot sauce on it. Feels great going through the sinuses.
I’m betting somebody will have said this before my comment is posted, but it’s worth a try.
Only a nut would buy this.
On the other hand, in the bottom picture it looks like a vampire octopus.
When that is an improvement, you know it’s time to go back to the drawing board.
Whoops, vampire squid.
All it needs are some tentacles crocheted from human hair
Oddly my first thought on seeing this, it is just begging to be transformed into some kind of weird, “steampunk”-meets-rogue-taxidermy octopus sculpture, and then resold again on Etsy for thousands of dollars. Some strange bastard in NY would have to own it. It’d sell.
+1 for the Sherman’s Lagoon cartoon reference.
“Hey kid! Wanna grab a treat from my Bull Nut Sack!?”
On a road trip, we stopped for breakfast at like a Denny’s or something. They had a large plastic bear full of lollipops. The hole, so the kids could reach in and get the candy, was in the crotch of this very happy bear.
Halloween just got a whole lot creepier.
You could put Squirrel Nut Zippers in it.
I think a need to buy a truck, just so I can hang this off the back. Screw having a fake nutsack on my vehicle!
Oh, so that’s where Justin Bieber got his hair!
I hope these were humanely re-moo-ved.
Whoever did it had some balls, that’s for sure.
I think somebody steered us wrong.
The only candies that should go into those nuts are suckers.
Usually one of the things that revolts me most about the crap they sell on Etsy is the outrageous price tag, but in this case I think that anyone dumb enough to buy a bull scrotum deserves to pay $24.50.
I’m more amazed at the $179 sheep skull.
I raise sheep. At that rate, I don’t if I should leave the big guy out in the pasture or lock him in my safe deposit box! Apparently sheep are worth more if you part them out rather than sell them whole.
Presumably this happens at a Lamb Chop Shop?
But what’s grat candy? I’ve never seen that. Maybe it makes sense.
I was thinking the same thing. I don’t know what “grat” candy is, but I’m pretty sure I don’t want to try it since that is the type of dish one would use for it.
It’s like the “RC Cola” of candies. Not awful, but not awesome, either.
Golly, Boomer, that’s nice of you. I always love eating my mixed nuts out of hairy prairie oysters.
Yo dawg, I herd you like nuts…
worthless without pix
My sister spends all day jacking off stallions and then inseminating mares. (Hey, it’s a living…) She could hang this on the barn wall as a silent threat to the ones who don’t want to cooperate.
My mind is whirling with questions:
1. What qualifications does one need for the job?
2. How is a person’s job performance appraised?
3. When she’s promoted does she get to just watch?
My goodness, I can’t believe I actually have relevant knowledge. My daughter was also what I called a Horse Fluffer, since she’s attending an ag school.
I believe you need no other qualifications other than a strong right arm and a sense of humor (because everyone who finds out about this will tease you mercilessly). I believe her job performance was appraised by the number of happy endings she achieved. Alas, she changed majors from Equine Reproduction to Large Animal Science so she is now the Goat Whisperer instead of the Horse Fluffer, so a promotion is out, I guess.
I’m pretty sure that *is* a promotion.
I would keep all of my marbles in that.
Or my pickled eggs.
Other ideas for use…
Car shifter knob
Fake Jay Leno chin
Yahtzee dice holder
Bathroom soap dish/combo cup
or like Butters from South Park, attach it on someone’s chin
Because when I think of candy, I think of Bull Testicles.
I know ranchers routinely castrate bulls. I don’t have a problem with that. But the rest of the shop just makes me sad. Especially the turtle shells. Those aren’t roadkill, because the shells are intact.
And the badger foot. WTF
I’m with you 100%. I actually considered buying the bull scrotum so I could use it as a yarn bowl (and I would, too). But I don’t want to give that seller a dime of my money given the other species they are offering. They’re an emporium of oh, just no fucking way.
I found an empty turtle shell in the woods once. It never occurred to me to wonder what happened to the turtle. Until now.
I could be wrong, but I think most bulls are castrated at an early enough age that their scrotum would not be nearly that size. That appears to be a mature scrotum to me, and I think you lose most of the behavioral benefit if you wait that long to castrate them. I’m guessing this sack is a post-mortem harvest, like the rest of the seller’s inventory.
Yeah…if you try to castrate a fully grown bull you’re just looking to get pummeled to death.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
regardless, this seller has some cool stuff and I’ve bought from him a few times.
Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don’t.
The top picture looks an awful lot like Florence Henderson’s hairdo when she was on The Brady Bunch.
I picture hanging it from the chandelier over your dining table as part of the decor filled with some glistening Schwetty Balls in honor of Alec Baldwin.
I’m still DYING to try the Schweddy Balls ice cream from Ben & Jerry’s but haven’t been able to find it anywhere
It was a Christmas-time, seasonal flavor Mary. Plus, it puckered all of the god-fearing-freaks, so B&J pulled it rather than rename it. It was pretty good, but not as good as the Red Velvet Cake, or Creme Brulee IMO…
You didn’t miss anything. I spent MONTHS searching in every little store I ran across in two states and when I finally found it…let’s just say the flavor name was unfortunately accurate.
I feel as though this bowl would make its contents taste kinda gamey. Or like formaldehyde. Either way, I’m keeping my candy away from it.
I think it would be a fun way to serve novelty cocktails, replete with the little umbrellas and garnishes.
“Hey! is that a pina colada in a coconut shell?”
That alone would be worth $24.50.
You know, it’s a problem at the D&D table that I don’t feel the guys fear me enough as a DM. Using one of these as a dice bag would change that I think…….
…or you could use it to store condoms on your nightstand. Impress the ladies!
I am the lady…..
You can still impress ladies!
Then using that to store condoms on your nightstand is even more useful as a message to guys!
You just made me laugh hard enough to worry the dog.
Conversation that just happened in my living room:
Kid: Oh, my god! That is SO wrong!
Hb: So you don’t want one for Christmas?
Kid: No! NO!
Hb: Come on! It makes a great candy dish!
Kid: *speechless in horror*
Do you know how *hard* it is to get my kid to be quiet right now, all hyper after a month out of school? I got a whole five minutes of horrified silence after that. THANK YOU, Regretsy!
Am I the only one puzzled that there is only one available?
What happened to the other one?
Rev Farmperson says: a bull keeps both in one sack, it’s more efficient.
Not an anatomy major, I see.
I can’t be the only one who saw
“God bless, and have a great day. BONER!!!”
If it were dyed yellow, the first pic would look like Johnny Bravo’s hair.
This thing is a bunch of bull! (as is my intermittent internet connection! Damn you Verizon! (shakes fist)
It wasn’t easy being a cowboy in the wild west. You were away from your family for weeks at a time, had to sleep out in the elements, and eat your candy out of bull scrotums.
Decisions, decisions. Should I get this, or spring for the Raccoon Penis Earrings on the next page of this shop? http://www.etsy.com/listing/103513178/real-animal-bone-parts-raccoon-organ
Can you say, “Purse!”
If you wanted it, you shoulda put a handle on it!
I laugh because my candy never makes it to a bowl. Straight outta the bag and down the hatch for me. Like I’d want to share it with anyone else anyway.
I cannot for the life of me come up with a use for it, but I NEED IT!
Add a hemp drawstring, sling it on a hand woven tool belt and you can keep your magik rocks ( courtesy of Alibaba) in there at your next LARP event.
TANUKI BALLS OR GTFO.
The Japanese have some bizarre testicular based mythology.
Oh, Tanukis. What a funny creatures. OR do you know anyone else, who loves teabagging people to death?
It’s for rock candy. ~~~
Or gum balls
Or cream-filled centers.
These just scream “BUY TWO!!” Instead of something as useless as tits on a bull, some of you crafty types could make bras and sell them as Bulls-balls on Your Tits™
What do you expect from someone who hangs animal pelts in his kitchen next to the cookie jar
Awesome picture. Really well thought out, and the focus is amazing.
On first glance I thought it was an old Trump toupee. Also, I’m assuming that the candy you put in the bowl is rock candy?
And my girlfriend, who collects bizarre taxidermy, just bought this!
She is the coolest.
Since I occasionally need to use a cane, I was idly shopping around online for different kinds of canes, and stumbled upon the Bull Penis Cane.
I have nothing to say about this, really, except that I couldn’t possibly get one since I have friends with dogs, and $100 is a little steep for the world’s biggest chew toy.
Call me a prude, but something about the thought of walking around with a giant animal dong makes me a little uncomfortable.
We bought one for my father for his birthday years ago — obviously of lower quality, as I think we paid about $40 for it…at a truck stop. He never used it, and when he passed away, I looked everywhere for it. Still have no idea where it went. My parents had two cats, but no dogs.
No point, just sharing.
I like that you can opt for a rubber tip! Though it is rather redundant by the time it is lopped off.
Well, sure. It makes a great candy dish if you hate your grandchildren…
…but not that some of us don’t deserve that ire.
And for those of you looking for a change purse that will start so many conversations:
We all have them here in Oz!
If you come to Australia, you can buy tanned kangaroo testicle bags at many souvenir outlets like it ain’t no thing. You fill them with vegemite to ward off drop bears. You just TRY and impress me.
The Australia Gift website was the first thing that came to mind when I saw the “bag” above. That’s no bag.
THIS is a BAG…
I love that they have a Scrotum Page. Makes shopping so much easier if I don’t have to scroll around.
And this site may tick off a few people on my Christmas gift list…and I’ll be able to cross off their names, too.
What’s a drop bear? A bear that drops out of the trees? If so, that makes getting hit on the head with a cicada or even pigeon poop very desirable, in comparison.
My son’s Aussie girlfriend called koalas “drop bears”. She said it was to scare stupid tourists into thinking that koalas would drop out of the trees and maul their prey.
They’re real! I know, because there are warnings about them on the Internet…Z.
It would make a lovely creamer
You could pair it with that “Diarrhea Bowl” from a few weeks back, and lose friends at twice the rate.
Before I read the description i thought it was the wig from Bram Stokers Dracula
CANDY DISH!? That’s preposterous! Clearly that thing would be better off holding salty nuts.
I predict a … ahem … resurgence of codpieces made with these.
Can I put some Schweddy Balls in there
*sings* Are your balls hollow, are they tanned and put on show, do you wear them as a hat, do you use them as a bowl, do you sell them off to hipsters who have plenty cash to blow, are your balls hollow?
I wish I had more thumbs for you!
Because everyone should teach their kids that scrotums are full of candy…
In law school we each had cubbies in the library that we could use to study in. Your Cubby was claimed a the beginning of the year and so you could put all your crap on it. The guy next to me had one of these and used it as a candy dish… I decided that his putting candy in it was brilliant since I wouldn’t touch it – instant diet…
aw did babbies get mad ‘cos I bought a couple raccoon tails from this dude? get over it. they’re dead. I’m sure you don’t get all up in arms because people eat meat.
unless you do, which of course is fine, but stop pretending you’re all high and mighty voting down my comment because I bought some hunted animal parts.
Cool stuff? Raccoon tails? Pfft! Random-mood selection process: get over it. On the other hand, Craigslist style comments (aw did babbies get mad etc) guarantees thumbs down.
This would be perfect to keep my tea bags in!
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