Meh, they’re all just copying Francesca Woodman, maybe the most famous of all weirdo, naked, self-portrait photogs, unappreciated in their own time. It’s art school rhetoric and way too much baby powder padding their oh-so-special talentless asses. Oh, and Francesca killed herself because her parents were assholes. Sooooooo that’s their hero. Yeah.
Don’t be picking on Francesca Woodman. She is quite talented. Not quite comparable to a pic of someone with a camera to their face, naked in a mirror reflection. Sorry, I miss her from when we were in art school in Providence way back when. I don’t really know about her parents except that I saw a fantastic exhibition of her mothers work once.
And I’m starting to wonder if there is anything left that will surprise on Etsy anymore. Okay I am being a sucky buzzkill. C’mon Etsyians, blow our boots off!
That should read ‘the universe exposed’. She also has the gall to use the word gravity in her description. Apparently it hasn’t caught up with her yet – but, speaking from personal experience, it will. Yes, believe me, it will.
If I live in Arizona, and I know better than to walk around taking pictures in my underwear even when it’s 115 outside, one must wonder what the hell is wrong with these people? Sheesh!
This annoys me for so many reasons, but mostly because you KNOW people do this on purpose. I’m sorry, but I just don’t buy that this woman had a giant, reflective metal bowl in the very center of her picture and had no idea her vag was going to show up in the picture. Being an exhibitionist is fine, whatever, but don’t try to sell me some shitty picture with a trumped up explanation to get your kicks.
This was absolutely and completely unintentional, and the fact that she is perfectly framed in the center of the tea kettle in no way means she meant to “accidentally” post a naked picture of herself.
Actual “ladies” who do art modeling get paid $20 to $30 an hour and it is quite a bit harder than you think. Try holding a pose for 20 minutes without moving.
Speaking of which… Starbucks is giving away some kind of new drink this Friday for free: Friday, 7/13 from 12p.m. to 3p.m. Something called a Starbucks Refresher. I wonder what you’ll get if you pose nude at the counter?
Not exactly free, but a 2-for-1 offer at McDonald’s: On their main site–buy a smoothie, frappe, lemonade or “chiller” and get one free, until the end of July. You have to type a name on the coupon before it prints.
In the defense of Starbucks employees (I used to work at one in a retail store) ya a good amount of them get hired for being dickwads, but there are some that are just overworked and sick of being underpaid. Not to mention more than half the pretentious pricks who order there make their lives hell. I’ve had to remake drinks because they weren’t hot enough (they were fucking scalding and I’d make sure when I remade them the person couldn’t even hold the god damn cup), the foam wasn’t thick enough, there wasn’t enough room for cream and they didn’t want me to just poor out a little they wanted the whole thing remade. Just to name a few.
Saw a guy yesterday make a woman some drink and she was like “wait does this not have the special blend in it?” He was like “which special blend, you mean our blend of the month yes that’s in it?” She was like “no, the other blend, why should I have to ask you if I want something made special that makes no sense.” She was dead serious…
Being a guy, I wasn’t aware of that analogy. How long do you have to stand in front of a public urinal in a Men’s rest room before you see this behaviour pattern emerge?
It sure is. It’s not remotely controversial, though, the “artists” just think it is. It’s very common in art programs at colleges that aren’t primarily art schools.
Clearly, I have been doing housework incorrectly. In my naivety, in my lack of wonderment, I see an unmade bed and think “I should make that.” I see a half-full dishwasher and think “Maybe I should put that away.” I see two rolls of toilet paper on the window sill and think “What the bejeezus is my husband smoking nowdays?!”
If only I had seen the expression of the universe, I would have grabbed a camera, caught a candid snap of my snatch, and sold it for enough to hire a housekeeper.
Clearly, I have been doing housework incorrectly. In my naivety, in my lack of wonderment, I see an unmade bed and think “I should make that.” I see a half-full dishwasher and think “Maybe I should put that away.” I see two rolls of toilet paper on the window sill and think “What the bejeezus is my husband smoking nowadays?!”
If only I had seen the expression of the universe, I would have grabbed a camera, caught a candid snap of my snatch, and sold it for enough to hire a housekeeper.
Well, everyone knows that all you need to be an artist is take shitty pictures and blather some nonsense about ‘inner truth’. Actual skill, talent and though aren’t necessary, and saying anything negative about them just proves you’re a mean untalented jealous mean jealous fat loser.
Maybe I’ll do a series of photos of various sandwiches with my wang on them. You know, it’ll be a statement about the world n’ shit- like, the cultural significance of the male dominated world of sandwich making.
Can you start up some sort of online class to teach men like my husband how to make their own sammiches? Please? I’m tired of coming home from work to find he starved all day because he couldn’t figure out how to put a slice of meat between two slices of bread.
best solution is… let them starve, because sooner or later they’ll learn how to cook for themselves, or get their lazy asses outta the house and get some fast food.
You can also stock some frozen food so he can heat it up in a microwave.
Finally, someone bridges the creative gap between grinders and Grindr. It’s hard to tell from your Etsy profile whether I would want you to be part of a sandwich, but I’d definitely be interested in critiquing your work.
In all seriousness, I really do think it’s very lame to make jokes about someone’s physical attributes that they have no control over, male or female. It’s cruel, in my opinion, and requires no wit or thought at all.
I’m doped up on cold meds. Budget excuse is as good as it gets. And of course I was being facetious. I hate it when people dissect my wang and scrutinize its size.
I have better things to spend $6000 on, especially when the description is so annoying. In some places $6000 can get you real estate, or at least a lot of good booze.
And here I though the universe was about nirvana or altruism or being a humanist or Jesus… turns out it is about the top rack of a dishwasher containing: 2 starbucks mugs, some glad-wear, and the reflection of a nude moron in a mixing bowl.
Well… at least she groomed. Or maybe not. The simple mundane things… yes… because I always think “Oh, my… I have some dishes to do… better pull out the Kodak.” At the very least, she didn’t send it through Instagram… I’d expect to see this in the “Nashville” frame just to bring it to life.
It’s a photograph out of a sheer act of desperation. Because she has been on etsy since March and no-one bought anything from her site. With all the other somewhat normal but boring photographs.
Her desperation is completely visible in her third-person “about” page. Perhaps it’s intended to sound like a favorable review of her life as art, but it sounds much more a though she wants to distance herself from herself. And I don’t blame her.
I dunno what it says about me, but it took me several seconds to notice the reflection.
On another note, the big silver bowl obviously was placed there for “art” purposes. It’s covering other dishes. Plus I don’t the top rack wouldn’t close with this huge bowl in the way.
Maybe there’s something related to the universe in that? “Mankind blocks the universe from closing properly…?” I dunno. But there’s something!
I’m impressed she could hold the camera upright, given how far her head is up her own ass. “The center of the universe… is MEEEEEE!!! Everyone! Look at how artistic and stuff I am!”
Well, at least she’s got a reasonably attractive body, if her distorted and miniscule reflection is anything to go by…that’s the bright side, right? *eyetwitch*
Mine’s titled “What is the meaning of life?”
…are we supposed to be all alone in this world? like this poor lonely weirdly shaped bowl in a dishwasher?…
Her shop hasn’t had any sales yet so this may be a way to drum up business. Even more pathetic than thinking one’s daughter getting gang-banged makes for good “art”.
I’m not sure what this says about the universe, but I believe there’s a small child standing behind her (the blob beside her left knee, which you can see a bit better if you click on the original listing and enlarge as much as possible). If this print doesn’t sell, maybe her kid can hang it on their bedroom wall in 10 years or so, as a painful reminder of exactly how/why they came to be such an angry, maladjusted teenager. Or maybe mom could hang it on the living room wall, you know, to show the kid’s prom date someday.
I can’t really tell. She looks nude to my eye, but I agree there’s a strange fuzziness to that area. It could be control-top pantyhose, though, or even just a weird tan line.
Not that I bothered to zoom in as far as you did.
And if your light fixtures are creeping you out enough to keep your clothes on, that seems a bit severe… You probably shouldn’t have one of these in your home…
I thought I saw undies on zoom, but tan line is a possibility. I’m glad I’m not the only one who couldn’t tell, and who went to the trouble of zooming to try to find out.
maybe it’s that chick from ‘work of art’ that is obsessed with everyone else being obsessed with her as a sex object – while presenting herself in the nude all the time.
Yeah, normally when I want to take photos of things around my home, I always, ALWAYS do it naked. It’s just normal around here. Then we post aforementioned photos to the interwebs to everyone and their mom to see! Aren’t we hip and cool? Not to mention awesome!
CollectorOfWaywardRacistWhiteCousins
July 13, 2012 at 9:10 am
Not one, but TWO Starbucks brand mugs. How in the hell can people on Etsy afford this lifestyle? What’s wrong with mugs from the dollar store like I drink out of>
July 11, 2012 at 1:32 pm
SPEAKING OF RACKS!
July 11, 2012 at 2:48 pm
Ahhh, notice the beautiful near symmetry of the lights on the ceiling to the reflected rack on the top rack which racks my brain.
July 11, 2012 at 1:33 pm
I feel I should make a joke about her “top rack,” but I just don’t care that much about breasts.
July 11, 2012 at 3:12 pm
I do.
July 11, 2012 at 3:14 pm
This has been kind of a rackfull day on Regretsy.
July 11, 2012 at 1:34 pm
Someone doesn’t use Jet Dry– I see spots…
July 11, 2012 at 4:22 pm
Someone also hasn’t learned you can wash dildos in the dishwasher. just sayin.
July 11, 2012 at 1:34 pm
It’s just like M.C. Escher, if Escher was a hopeless doof who was overly proud of his titties.
July 11, 2012 at 2:19 pm
Meh, they’re all just copying Francesca Woodman, maybe the most famous of all weirdo, naked, self-portrait photogs, unappreciated in their own time. It’s art school rhetoric and way too much baby powder padding their oh-so-special talentless asses. Oh, and Francesca killed herself because her parents were assholes. Sooooooo that’s their hero. Yeah.
July 12, 2012 at 10:03 am
Or this wanna-be
http://www.etsy.com/listing/39825581/le-voyeur-la-grande-collection
July 12, 2012 at 3:02 pm
Don’t be picking on Francesca Woodman. She is quite talented. Not quite comparable to a pic of someone with a camera to their face, naked in a mirror reflection. Sorry, I miss her from when we were in art school in Providence way back when. I don’t really know about her parents except that I saw a fantastic exhibition of her mothers work once.
And I’m starting to wonder if there is anything left that will surprise on Etsy anymore. Okay I am being a sucky buzzkill. C’mon Etsyians, blow our boots off!
July 11, 2012 at 1:35 pm
That should read ‘the universe exposed’. She also has the gall to use the word gravity in her description. Apparently it hasn’t caught up with her yet – but, speaking from personal experience, it will. Yes, believe me, it will.
July 11, 2012 at 1:45 pm
Almost everything in her shop is “The universe expressed” as some random crap I took pictures of.
July 11, 2012 at 4:36 pm
Especially if she keeps walking around braless.
July 12, 2012 at 8:59 am
At first, I mistakenly read it as “gravy.”
July 11, 2012 at 1:35 pm
If I live in Arizona, and I know better than to walk around taking pictures in my underwear even when it’s 115 outside, one must wonder what the hell is wrong with these people? Sheesh!
July 11, 2012 at 1:35 pm
Everything’s a fetish nowadays.
July 11, 2012 at 1:35 pm
Is this her idea of soft core porn or what?
July 11, 2012 at 1:36 pm
I don’t know whether to be offended by the price tag/quality of the composition, or amused by the naked reflection. Amusement is winning, so far.
July 11, 2012 at 2:13 pm
You should go with “offused”.
July 11, 2012 at 1:37 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 11, 2012 at 2:09 pm
Are your boobs are up in your neck? They look pretty well placed to me, from what I can tell in the reflection of a mixing bowl.
July 11, 2012 at 3:38 pm
Probably a jealous member of the IBTC.
July 11, 2012 at 3:47 pm
“Irritable Bowel Trade Committee”?
What is IBTC?
July 11, 2012 at 3:48 pm
Never mind, I got it… Long boring day at work, and way too many lacquer fumes.
July 12, 2012 at 9:01 am
There really should be one of those, though.
July 12, 2012 at 3:05 pm
You’re going to get me fired with the explosive cackling emitted from this delightful hilarity!
July 11, 2012 at 1:37 pm
This annoys me for so many reasons, but mostly because you KNOW people do this on purpose. I’m sorry, but I just don’t buy that this woman had a giant, reflective metal bowl in the very center of her picture and had no idea her vag was going to show up in the picture. Being an exhibitionist is fine, whatever, but don’t try to sell me some shitty picture with a trumped up explanation to get your kicks.
July 11, 2012 at 1:53 pm
Yeah. Shaving first was the dead giveaway.
July 11, 2012 at 2:23 pm
As is the fact that pot is on the top rack. Everyone knows that shit goes on the bottom!
July 11, 2012 at 8:42 pm
And that the dishes were clean. Everyone knows the meaning of the universe is endless dirty dishes.
July 11, 2012 at 2:01 pm
Hello– $500…
July 11, 2012 at 8:39 pm
Yup.
I definitely need more thumbs.
July 11, 2012 at 1:37 pm
Her ceiling lights look like boobs, too! I don’t understand it!
July 11, 2012 at 1:37 pm
That looks creepily like my kitchen. I better check on my roommates…
July 11, 2012 at 1:59 pm
“Oh hey rommie! You might want to wipe down the counter before you start chopping veggies. I got a little ‘artistic’ this weekend.”
July 11, 2012 at 1:39 pm
This was absolutely and completely unintentional, and the fact that she is perfectly framed in the center of the tea kettle in no way means she meant to “accidentally” post a naked picture of herself.
July 11, 2012 at 1:43 pm
What led you guys to think it was unintentional? I don’t the description insinuates that.
Not that it matters. All the photos in her shop are entitled “The universe expressed as… (thing in photo)”
So, you know, she’s ARTY. She grasps the nature of the universe and shit.
July 11, 2012 at 2:08 pm
I feel quite certain that Cineaste is being sarcastic.
July 11, 2012 at 2:20 pm
I can send Cineaste some of my sarcasm font when it comes in.
Or perhaps it’s sarcasm perception eyeglasses we need to have on hand to pass around…
July 11, 2012 at 2:31 pm
they would much more useful than titty-rack cats-eye glasses
July 11, 2012 at 1:41 pm
So, it would total $550 to recieved a warped nudie picture? I’m pretty sure I can pay certain ladies a quater of that to see it in real life.
July 11, 2012 at 1:45 pm
That’s generous… I’m sure there are ladies who will take a 10th of that amount to pose.
July 11, 2012 at 1:47 pm
I always go at least middle shelf
July 11, 2012 at 6:40 pm
Bra, that is.
July 11, 2012 at 11:02 pm
Actual “ladies” who do art modeling get paid $20 to $30 an hour and it is quite a bit harder than you think. Try holding a pose for 20 minutes without moving.
July 15, 2012 at 12:20 am
as a former art model, I couldn’t give this comment enough thumbs up.
July 11, 2012 at 2:34 pm
The $550 is for the Starbucks mugs
July 11, 2012 at 1:41 pm
You know, I actually think the thing that annoys me most about this photograph is how much of her ‘universe’ appears to be owned by Starbucks.
July 11, 2012 at 1:55 pm
Speaking of which… Starbucks is giving away some kind of new drink this Friday for free: Friday, 7/13 from 12p.m. to 3p.m. Something called a Starbucks Refresher. I wonder what you’ll get if you pose nude at the counter?
July 11, 2012 at 2:14 pm
I saw that, too. As an office drone, free shit from Starbucks is basically the highlight of my week.
July 11, 2012 at 2:18 pm
INORITE! Starbucks is so not in the budget right now, but I always have spare change for “free”.
July 11, 2012 at 2:55 pm
Not exactly free, but a 2-for-1 offer at McDonald’s: On their main site–buy a smoothie, frappe, lemonade or “chiller” and get one free, until the end of July. You have to type a name on the coupon before it prints.
July 20, 2012 at 12:10 am
I’m a bit late, but it’s still July…where? I can’t find this promotion and it’s very relevant to my interests. >:[
July 11, 2012 at 2:35 pm
Must be a new type of douche
July 11, 2012 at 4:19 pm
Coffee-scented pubes.
(Seriously, if you spend more than half an hour in there, you will end up smelling like burnt coffee.)
July 11, 2012 at 4:28 pm
They don’t call it Charbucks for nothin.
July 11, 2012 at 4:39 pm
Here’s my last experience at a Starbucks, about 8 years ago:
Me: “Hi. Give me a medium coffee.”
Starbucks douche: “We have Tall, Vente and Grande.”
Me: “So, you have three sizes?”
Starbucks douche: “Yes. Tall, Vente and Grande.”
Me: “So there would be a small, medium and large size range there, right?”
Starbucks douche: “sigh…..I guess so..”
Me: “Alright, so give me whatever you want to call the medium size coffee, okay?”
Starbucks douche: “sigh….(flips hair out of his eyes)alright…One vente…”
I hate that place with a passion. Their coffee sucks, too.
July 11, 2012 at 7:32 pm
I have some starbucks rules that allow me to enjoy the coffee (which I like) without the bullshit:
1. Do not order anything that must be ordered in fake italian
2. Do not order anything that takes more than a paragraph to describe
3. If you really want to throw a monkey wrench in their system, order Instant.
(Scratch Rule #3 — the bastards are serving VIA now).
July 12, 2012 at 8:42 am
In the defense of Starbucks employees (I used to work at one in a retail store) ya a good amount of them get hired for being dickwads, but there are some that are just overworked and sick of being underpaid. Not to mention more than half the pretentious pricks who order there make their lives hell. I’ve had to remake drinks because they weren’t hot enough (they were fucking scalding and I’d make sure when I remade them the person couldn’t even hold the god damn cup), the foam wasn’t thick enough, there wasn’t enough room for cream and they didn’t want me to just poor out a little they wanted the whole thing remade. Just to name a few.
Saw a guy yesterday make a woman some drink and she was like “wait does this not have the special blend in it?” He was like “which special blend, you mean our blend of the month yes that’s in it?” She was like “no, the other blend, why should I have to ask you if I want something made special that makes no sense.” She was dead serious…
July 12, 2012 at 9:06 am
I hate people.
July 12, 2012 at 6:12 pm
My starbucks baristas cheat and use small medium large.
July 11, 2012 at 8:44 pm
They call 911 and issue a restraining order?
July 11, 2012 at 1:58 pm
That’s what stopped me in my tracks, too. The nudity is fine, what offends me is the Starbucks shit. You’ve gotta advertise for them at home, too?
July 11, 2012 at 1:41 pm
Tee hee! We see your snatch!
July 11, 2012 at 1:42 pm
Oh wait…is that undies there or not? Damn bifocals…shit…
July 11, 2012 at 2:19 pm
Looks like greyish fleshy-colored granny panties to me. That was my first thought: granny panties and nipples, thanks for sharing.
July 11, 2012 at 3:24 pm
I clicked. I zoomed. It’s snatch. I saved $500.
July 11, 2012 at 1:41 pm
I’m more offended by the fact that she loads her dishwasher like an asshole than I am by the naked pic. lol
July 11, 2012 at 1:44 pm
Regretsy has made us so jaded. God bless it!
July 11, 2012 at 1:58 pm
I think the artistic statement would have been stronger if the dishes had been dirty.
July 11, 2012 at 2:00 pm
My husband says I load the dishwasher like guys use public urinals. I load each new item as far away as possible from the previously loaded items.
July 11, 2012 at 7:36 pm
Being a guy, I wasn’t aware of that analogy. How long do you have to stand in front of a public urinal in a Men’s rest room before you see this behaviour pattern emerge?
July 11, 2012 at 9:51 pm
You don’t know about the ‘leave at least one empty urinal imbetween you and the nearest guy’ rule? I’m a girl and I know that rule.
July 12, 2012 at 2:59 am
Maybe you’ve been following the rules so long you don’t even realize they exist.
Here’s a quick quiz on urinal etiquette.
July 11, 2012 at 1:42 pm
Also, that top rack (of the dishwasher) needs reorganized. That shit ain’t getting clean.
July 11, 2012 at 1:46 pm
At least the sex toys aren’t loaded.
With the dishes, that is.
July 11, 2012 at 1:43 pm
This cannot be an accurate reflection of the state of the universe. There aren’t nearly enough Starbuckses.
July 11, 2012 at 1:45 pm
For $500 it better come with the damn dishwasher.
July 11, 2012 at 1:45 pm
I see that Starbucks features prominently in her universe and clothing doesn’t.
July 11, 2012 at 7:09 pm
Either Starbucks delivers in her area, it those are some awkward trips through the drive through….
July 11, 2012 at 1:46 pm
Look at the way the universe appears warped from the smooth rounded alloy shell in this captured arrangement of photons! HAWT!
July 11, 2012 at 1:46 pm
You can download better “art” than this, for free even.
July 11, 2012 at 1:48 pm
Are those granny panties, or is he vag blurred like that normally?
July 11, 2012 at 2:05 pm
I always love it when someone’s trying to do the “controversial” nude artist” thing, but lacks the sack to actually go through with it.
July 11, 2012 at 11:09 pm
I don’t get the “controversial” nude artist” bit. Is this really a thing?
July 12, 2012 at 4:17 am
It sure is. It’s not remotely controversial, though, the “artists” just think it is. It’s very common in art programs at colleges that aren’t primarily art schools.
July 11, 2012 at 1:48 pm
Oh, NOW I get it. SHE is the center of the universe. Being worshiped by by cheap plastic Rubbermaid containers and ugly Starbucks cups.
July 11, 2012 at 1:49 pm
Is it wrong that mostly I’m just jealous that her dishwasher is nicer than mine???
July 11, 2012 at 4:34 pm
If it’s any consolation, my dishwasher is a Vileda sponge and a bottle of Dawn.
July 11, 2012 at 8:45 pm
I married mine. Really. As I type, he’s scrubbing away.
July 12, 2012 at 5:26 pm
July 11, 2012 at 1:54 pm
At this point, I’m just more surprised when I DON’T see unnecessary nudity in Etsy postings.
July 11, 2012 at 1:56 pm
Clearly, I have been doing housework incorrectly. In my naivety, in my lack of wonderment, I see an unmade bed and think “I should make that.” I see a half-full dishwasher and think “Maybe I should put that away.” I see two rolls of toilet paper on the window sill and think “What the bejeezus is my husband smoking nowdays?!”
If only I had seen the expression of the universe, I would have grabbed a camera, caught a candid snap of my snatch, and sold it for enough to hire a housekeeper.
July 11, 2012 at 2:13 pm
Tomorrow is a new day with many wondrous and new opportunities to launch your soft-core housewife porn career.
July 11, 2012 at 2:36 pm
But I thought the universe was in every moment? I can’t wait to hire people in my artistic ability, there are dinner dishes.
July 12, 2012 at 2:07 pm
And please, hold out for more money than $500. You are worth it.
July 11, 2012 at 1:57 pm
Clearly, I have been doing housework incorrectly. In my naivety, in my lack of wonderment, I see an unmade bed and think “I should make that.” I see a half-full dishwasher and think “Maybe I should put that away.” I see two rolls of toilet paper on the window sill and think “What the bejeezus is my husband smoking nowadays?!”
If only I had seen the expression of the universe, I would have grabbed a camera, caught a candid snap of my snatch, and sold it for enough to hire a housekeeper.
July 11, 2012 at 1:58 pm
It was funnier the first time.
Stupid browser.
July 11, 2012 at 2:02 pm
Why the fuck is it always “part of a series”?
I’m starting to think I should pull my membership card in the artist community.
July 11, 2012 at 2:12 pm
Well, everyone knows that all you need to be an artist is take shitty pictures and blather some nonsense about ‘inner truth’. Actual skill, talent and though aren’t necessary, and saying anything negative about them just proves you’re a mean untalented jealous mean jealous fat loser.
July 11, 2012 at 2:18 pm
You are so right. I’m terrible.
Maybe I’ll do a series of photos of various sandwiches with my wang on them. You know, it’ll be a statement about the world n’ shit- like, the cultural significance of the male dominated world of sandwich making.
July 11, 2012 at 2:29 pm
OHMIGOOOOD
GENOUOUS
SO AMAZIIIING AND DEEEEEP.
July 11, 2012 at 2:58 pm
You make your own sammiches?
July 11, 2012 at 3:34 pm
Yep. Wang n’ cheese, mostly.
July 11, 2012 at 7:13 pm
Can you start up some sort of online class to teach men like my husband how to make their own sammiches? Please? I’m tired of coming home from work to find he starved all day because he couldn’t figure out how to put a slice of meat between two slices of bread.
July 12, 2012 at 4:19 am
Does your husband exist in 1953? That’s very unfortunate.
July 12, 2012 at 11:01 am
best solution is… let them starve, because sooner or later they’ll learn how to cook for themselves, or get their lazy asses outta the house and get some fast food.
You can also stock some frozen food so he can heat it up in a microwave.
July 12, 2012 at 5:00 am
Mmmm. I’d buy that, if it was grilled.
July 12, 2012 at 5:17 am
Ouch!
July 12, 2012 at 5:31 pm
July 11, 2012 at 3:59 pm
“Make me a sammich, woman!”
“Yes, chef!”
July 11, 2012 at 11:26 pm
Finally, someone bridges the creative gap between grinders and Grindr. It’s hard to tell from your Etsy profile whether I would want you to be part of a sandwich, but I’d definitely be interested in critiquing your work.
July 13, 2012 at 6:01 pm
P.S., How did I overlook the fact that your name is Johnson?
July 11, 2012 at 2:05 pm
from her profile;
“…who exposed her to the techniques…’
“…calculated exploration.”
“…she was the head of her class…”
July 12, 2012 at 5:03 am
She really is an artist, she’s speaking in *third person*
July 11, 2012 at 2:06 pm
Just be thankful she’s not selling it as desktop wallpaper and calling it “Aureola Bowlealis”.
July 11, 2012 at 2:09 pm
I walk around my house naked all the time; but I’ve got the sense not to take pictures of reflective surfaces and then post them on the internet.
July 11, 2012 at 2:20 pm
You should. There’s apparently money to be made in it.
July 11, 2012 at 2:55 pm
If so, she may be laundering it ’cause I don’t see it in her Sales.
…now there would be some more pix, of course. The Universe Expressed as Me Laundering My Money…
perhaps followed by hanging the Laundered Money out to dry.
Sorry. I have to go get my camera.
July 12, 2012 at 5:35 pm
July 11, 2012 at 2:10 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 11, 2012 at 2:27 pm
Oh, good, its so important that we know that.
July 11, 2012 at 2:53 pm
Seriously– I feel like punching a Dick…
July 11, 2012 at 8:48 pm
I’ll help. Please let me help!
July 11, 2012 at 3:28 pm
July 11, 2012 at 3:41 pm
Although, in all fairness, in the last post (boob glasses) someone was thumbed-up a bunch for making fun of the Spiderman dude’s wang shortcoming.
July 11, 2012 at 3:44 pm
It’s okay because it’s men and man bits being made fun of. Duh.
July 11, 2012 at 3:56 pm
Budget excuse, Mockingbird. C’mon…
July 11, 2012 at 4:02 pm
In all seriousness, I really do think it’s very lame to make jokes about someone’s physical attributes that they have no control over, male or female. It’s cruel, in my opinion, and requires no wit or thought at all.
July 11, 2012 at 7:14 pm
Very true.
TBH, I thought the Spiderman guy, and his suit, were both hawt.
Though the suit would be hard to wash.
July 21, 2012 at 7:30 am
Very true, especially when we have so many things that they can control to make jokes out of.
July 11, 2012 at 9:00 pm
I’m doped up on cold meds. Budget excuse is as good as it gets. And of course I was being facetious. I hate it when people dissect my wang and scrutinize its size.
July 12, 2012 at 7:15 am
Ow!
July 12, 2012 at 6:25 pm
Must remember that.
Do
not
dissect
wang.
I wasn’t even aware this was a potential problem!
I’m assuming, of course, that scrutinizing size is a-ok?
July 11, 2012 at 7:16 pm
I’m not sure how you can tell by the distorted image in the bowel. She could be Claudia Schiffer and we wouldn’t know.
July 11, 2012 at 2:12 pm
Hey universe, don’t turn around but some snatch is taking pictures of your dishwasher.
July 11, 2012 at 2:26 pm
I haven’t seen any more reflectoporn in her stuff, but I did find this gem for $6000! http://www.etsy.com/listing/99041035/your-daughter-likes-it-when-they-make-it?ref=v1_other_1
I have better things to spend $6000 on, especially when the description is so annoying. In some places $6000 can get you real estate, or at least a lot of good booze.
July 11, 2012 at 10:05 pm
And another $500 to ship it? Wow.
July 12, 2012 at 7:29 am
She has on the boots that she probably wears at her stripper job. Added the starbucks mugs to validate herself as an artist.
July 11, 2012 at 2:31 pm
It’s tagged “nude”.
July 11, 2012 at 2:38 pm
There is a picture of two plastic chairs in her shop.
$500
Apparently the universe is expressing it’s need to have a sit down on some rickety plastic.
July 12, 2012 at 11:06 am
i hope she didn’t sit on them while naked.
July 11, 2012 at 2:54 pm
Well, a good lesson to learn from this picture is not to take photos while naked.
I feel so lucky this this didn’t happen to me, how embarrassing! Now I know and I will never ever take photos of suff while skyclad again.
July 11, 2012 at 3:15 pm
Looks like she’s getting ready to use her Shtupperware.
July 11, 2012 at 3:31 pm
OH COME ON, a dead bird? REALLY?
Now she’s just fucking with us.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/101121778/the-universe-expressed-as-a-dead-bird
July 11, 2012 at 3:38 pm
I saw that. But I did not cry over it.
July 11, 2012 at 8:40 pm
Sometimes I think that people are just taunting us with images of polly-gones. Just to try to make us weep. Jerks.
July 11, 2012 at 3:42 pm
It’s some freakin’ tupperware and a couple of Starbucks mugs. Not the meaning of life!
http://youtu.be/Ttdv6dxr2YY
July 11, 2012 at 3:47 pm
And here I though the universe was about nirvana or altruism or being a humanist or Jesus… turns out it is about the top rack of a dishwasher containing: 2 starbucks mugs, some glad-wear, and the reflection of a nude moron in a mixing bowl.
July 11, 2012 at 4:04 pm
It’s like the day you found out Santa wasn’t real, you know?
July 11, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Santa IS real. It’s Sarah who isn’t.
July 11, 2012 at 4:10 pm
WHAT?!!!
July 11, 2012 at 4:15 pm
No no, he’s real, he’s real……shhh…..go back to sleep…
July 11, 2012 at 5:42 pm
Phew… you had me worried there for a second!
July 12, 2012 at 11:08 am
how about… easter bunnies?
July 11, 2012 at 4:04 pm
Sarah was a relative of MC Escher, whose optimism was only matched by her complete lack of effort.
July 11, 2012 at 4:13 pm
You sure you don’t mean MC Hammer?
July 12, 2012 at 5:40 pm
ESCHERTIME!
MC Escher vs “MC ‘Weird Al’ Hammer”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=peids2UXZYc
July 11, 2012 at 4:18 pm
Well… at least she groomed. Or maybe not. The simple mundane things… yes… because I always think “Oh, my… I have some dishes to do… better pull out the Kodak.” At the very least, she didn’t send it through Instagram… I’d expect to see this in the “Nashville” frame just to bring it to life.
July 11, 2012 at 4:22 pm
Sad to admit it but my first thought wasn’t “hey more bits and pieces from Etsy” but “Damn, that bitch doesn’t know how to stack a dishwasher.”
July 11, 2012 at 4:25 pm
Getting older is weird, isn’t it? I find myself thinking about the more mundane aspects of things a lot, too.
July 11, 2012 at 8:02 pm
Very weird. particularly as I seem to be turning into my father…and I’m female. Hopefully it’s only mental & not physical!
July 12, 2012 at 4:27 am
I would worry if you start getting excessive ear-hair.
July 11, 2012 at 4:23 pm
It’s a photograph out of a sheer act of desperation. Because she has been on etsy since March and no-one bought anything from her site. With all the other somewhat normal but boring photographs.
July 11, 2012 at 4:35 pm
Her desperation is completely visible in her third-person “about” page. Perhaps it’s intended to sound like a favorable review of her life as art, but it sounds much more a though she wants to distance herself from herself. And I don’t blame her.
July 11, 2012 at 4:24 pm
Groomed or sexless Ken Doll flesh-mound?
July 11, 2012 at 4:27 pm
Holy shit that’s an awesome name, FistyAnn! That’s in my top 5, for sure.
July 11, 2012 at 4:35 pm
I live to serve!
July 11, 2012 at 4:27 pm
She has a weird sense of what the universe is? Which also matches the weird sense of what she thinks her pictures are worth.
July 11, 2012 at 4:39 pm
I dunno what it says about me, but it took me several seconds to notice the reflection.
On another note, the big silver bowl obviously was placed there for “art” purposes. It’s covering other dishes. Plus I don’t the top rack wouldn’t close with this huge bowl in the way.
Maybe there’s something related to the universe in that? “Mankind blocks the universe from closing properly…?” I dunno. But there’s something!
July 11, 2012 at 11:16 pm
Seriously, I totally thought it was front and center in your face.
July 11, 2012 at 4:46 pm
I’m impressed she could hold the camera upright, given how far her head is up her own ass. “The center of the universe… is MEEEEEE!!! Everyone! Look at how artistic and stuff I am!”
July 11, 2012 at 4:56 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 11, 2012 at 5:17 pm
everyone should google ‘reflecto porn’
She’s not even remotely original.
July 11, 2012 at 6:37 pm
People, quit bitching. Go take pictures of your dishwashers right now, and let’s have some fun!
July 12, 2012 at 11:17 am
Mine’s titled “What is the meaning of life?”
…are we supposed to be all alone in this world? like this poor lonely weirdly shaped bowl in a dishwasher?…
July 13, 2012 at 7:17 pm
Oooooh Aaaaaah how much?
July 12, 2012 at 5:47 pm
July 12, 2012 at 6:28 pm
I have to wait until he wakes up.
July 11, 2012 at 7:00 pm
I had no idea she was naked until someone pointed it out. I thought she was wearing a really rumpled beige bra/panties combo.
July 12, 2012 at 12:25 pm
Yick! I thought she was half-nude until I had a look at the zoom…o.o what is going ON down there?
*snaps fingers* HEY ETSY! MAKE IT STOP, SERIOUSLY!
July 12, 2012 at 6:28 pm
I hate it when that happens.
July 11, 2012 at 7:30 pm
Her shop hasn’t had any sales yet so this may be a way to drum up business. Even more pathetic than thinking one’s daughter getting gang-banged makes for good “art”.
July 11, 2012 at 7:32 pm
“the mundane things we take for granted hold as much gravity as everything else”
Such as wearing clothes when taking pictures of reflective things?
July 11, 2012 at 7:37 pm
I’m not sure what this says about the universe, but I believe there’s a small child standing behind her (the blob beside her left knee, which you can see a bit better if you click on the original listing and enlarge as much as possible). If this print doesn’t sell, maybe her kid can hang it on their bedroom wall in 10 years or so, as a painful reminder of exactly how/why they came to be such an angry, maladjusted teenager. Or maybe mom could hang it on the living room wall, you know, to show the kid’s prom date someday.
July 11, 2012 at 7:56 pm
Actually, I do believe it’s a reflection of her back in a reflective stainless steel appliance of some kind in her kitchen.
July 11, 2012 at 9:04 pm
I’m sure we’re all expecting what the Spanish Inquisition would tie her to at this point but it was too well-deserved in this case to pass up.
July 11, 2012 at 10:31 pm
July 11, 2012 at 11:03 pm
The artist: “expression… universe… bubble bubble dishwasher… dead bird… granted gravity… nude… plastic chair… more bubbles… ad nauseam…”
The Universe: “42″
July 12, 2012 at 4:07 am
I’m certain of two things that the seller is not…
1) The Earth still holds gravity when you take it for granted.
2) You don’t “accidentally” take a photo of yourself in the nude right after shaving your mons.
July 12, 2012 at 5:14 am
I zoomed in as far as possible to discern the presence or absence of panties. I see beige panties.
The most disturbing thing I noticed, however, was that her ceiling light fixtures look like EYES.
Could…not…go…in…there…naked.
July 12, 2012 at 6:20 am
I can’t really tell. She looks nude to my eye, but I agree there’s a strange fuzziness to that area. It could be control-top pantyhose, though, or even just a weird tan line.
Not that I bothered to zoom in as far as you did.
And if your light fixtures are creeping you out enough to keep your clothes on, that seems a bit severe… You probably shouldn’t have one of these in your home…
July 12, 2012 at 6:25 pm
I’m Pagan. I want those in every room!
July 12, 2012 at 7:08 pm
I thought I saw undies on zoom, but tan line is a possibility. I’m glad I’m not the only one who couldn’t tell, and who went to the trouble of zooming to try to find out.
July 12, 2012 at 7:15 am
maybe it’s that chick from ‘work of art’ that is obsessed with everyone else being obsessed with her as a sex object – while presenting herself in the nude all the time.
July 12, 2012 at 8:35 am
As if the Starbucks mugs weren’t enough give away the fact that she’s pretentious douche nozzle wannabe artist.
July 12, 2012 at 11:00 am
Yeah, normally when I want to take photos of things around my home, I always, ALWAYS do it naked. It’s just normal around here. Then we post aforementioned photos to the interwebs to everyone and their mom to see! Aren’t we hip and cool? Not to mention awesome!
::insert enormous eyeroll here::
July 12, 2012 at 11:50 am
Must be a pretty small universe…
Suggesting that your daughter gets “gang banged”…Reaaaaaal classy there.
July 12, 2012 at 6:20 pm
Well that sure isn’t dishwasher safe…
July 13, 2012 at 5:25 am
Gee, she has zero feedback as a seller. That’s a surprise.
July 13, 2012 at 9:10 am
Not one, but TWO Starbucks brand mugs. How in the hell can people on Etsy afford this lifestyle? What’s wrong with mugs from the dollar store like I drink out of>