It takes incredible ability to misspell a word when the right spelling is right in front of you.
I’m impressed, in an odd way.
I’m empressed, too!
What about the ones who spell it correctly in one instance, but incorrectly in another on the same listing? How fucked up is your brain to not form the same thought each time you’re trying to write the same word?!
As my dearly departed mother would have said “This takes a special kind of stupid.”
John Lennon and Bono?
And note that the price on that one is in pounds! Has this person been unconscious for most of their life?
Even if they were comatose for most of their life they still wouldn’t have had a very good excuse.
What wrong with pounds?
What IS wrong with pounds… I meant.
The Beatles are British. You’d think they’d figure it out–Bono is in U2, and still alive, and has never been a Beatle.
You know I knew Bono has been singing for a long time but I just never knew it had been for that long! WOW! See kids, ya learn something new every day. Today I learned that some tardo not only can’t spell the BEATLES when it’s RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF THEM, but also their head is so far up the ass they mistook an Irish singer for a British one. Well played jack-wad, well played….
I may be baying for this seller’s blood, or a really massive smack upside the head, MASSIVE. I got a Lennon quarter sleeve gonna knock them out. Bloody Bono.
Who misspells banjo?
all of us who think it should be spelled “bajingo”
Clearly, the same person who thinks it’s a good idea to completely obscure a banjo with confetti. I’d question that part first, but it’s a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of Derp Roundup.
You didnt know that Bono was the fifth beatle?
I thought Bono’s years in The Beatles were the best. It was almost as good at that time when Ringo was in U2.
“John Lennon, Bono, and the rest of the gang?”
Everyone knows it was Sonny Bono in the Beatles! You know, before Cher broke up the band!
Yeah, you know- Archie, Jughead, The Fonz, Meathead, Bea Arthur…”The Gang”. Those Beetles had some wacky adventures, that’s for sure.
You forgot Spanky. But that’s OK. Everyone forgets Spanky.
Yeah, Sunday will never be the same.
oy vey, the hijinks!
Kniti, you’re too young to remember the original Fab Four: John, Bono, Dion, and Donovan.
John Bon Donovan? He grew up in New Jersey.
It’s kind of like an “…and the rest,” thing.
Antic style? Why do I feel so utterly un-entertained?
Maybe I need a pizza.
It’s good that she’s listing it to go, then.
Or a Pisa.
Is it too much to ask for an actual tower of pizza?
Nuh. That’s Architectural History 101.
Time to go drink my depression away…
I’m reminded of the old baseball saying: a million dollar arm and a ten cent brain.
I know Im starving!
Pizza tower? I want to go to there.
It’s in Rome, apparently. Shouldn’t be too hard to find.
Just go to Rome and follow the smell of pepperoni, I would imagine.
Also on her “to go” list:
The Great Pyramids of Gyoza.
I do love me some gyoza.
For some reason, “We Three Kings” is stuck in my head because of this photo. I might have to fight fire with fire to remove it.
Don’t forget the Hanging Gardens of Baba Rum, Sconehenge, the Empire Steak Building, Angkor Wok, and the Spice Needle!
For some reason, I’m hungry now.
So, how many of those are Thai restaurants?
mmmm I want to visit Pizza, Italy as well…and then maybe I’ll stop off at Salami, Italy for a light snack….
And the dance of the veils? Or is that veals?
That was Lady Gaga
Be sure to get the supreme deep dish there, it’s the best!
Hey, at least she knows how to SPELL pizza.
Nah, if she tried to spell pizza it would be “peetza” or “peatsa”.
Double dip derp on that first one, the “antic style wood sign.”
I guess if you don’t cut the antic hay soon enough, it might grow into antic wood.
Since when was Bono in the Beatles?
He isn’t, he’s in the “Beetles”. Whoooole different thing.
I read “bango” as “bajingo”… I was slightly disappointed at the photo.
unfortunatly the bajingo earrings don’t match the carpet….wait…that’s not right…is it?
In either color or quantity?
Unless I’m mistaken, there’s another derp on the “Beetles love” stickers: “John Lennon, Bono, and the rest of the gang…”
Oh crap, I was far too slow on this one…
And didn’t even manage to make a decent joke about it.
Ah, reminds me of those days in my youth when we sat around the transistor radio, in an endless debate over which one of the Beatles — John, Paul, George or Bono — was our favorite.
I thought that the last one was Bango?
I thought Bono, Bango and Ringo were in Oingo Boingo.
Bango was one of the Mosquitoes: Bingo, Bango, Bongo and Irving.
Wait wait wait. It was Groucho, Chico, Harpo and Bono.
No, they were in the Bangles. In drag.
Mmmmmm…… pizza tower….
Which one of you fat jealous losers is Crochet Guevara?
I second this question, and I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed that! Right away my brain was all, “DAT’S NOT HK OR BRONC, WHAT IS THIS!?”
It’s the dogs.
April’s mom? I’d like to see Nina put something here. Wishful thinking, maybe. But she’s still a hoot.
This is why you NEVER leave the computer on when the animals are home alone! If they ever develop opposable thumbs, heaven help us all.
The sixth Beatle. Obviously, Bono was the fifth.
HK & Bronc decided to embrace the idea of a collective. All derp posts will be outsourced to Canada. All compare and save posts will be outsourced to China. Stay tuned for the wholesale options!
Does Bono know he got a promotion?
How do you know this image is fake?
1) Bono wasn’t a member of the Beatles.
2) Bono doesn’t know how to adequately play that instrument.
3) Bono was never that tall.
4) All of the above.
Man, do I need that on a t-shirt.
He’s singing “It’s a Beatiful Day”.
He’s singing “Hound Dog”, the song he’s most famous for. He wrote it when he was in the Beetles.
That was before Bruce Springsteen left the group.
Oh yeah, the glory days.
When I went to Pisa, I made a point of having a piece o’ pizza there, just, y’know, to have done so. But I knew the difference.
And I knew I wasn’t in fucking Rome.
When in Rome, eat pisa?
See the Pizza Tower and die.
I usually have a leaning tower of pizza boxes.
A leaning tower of pizza is completely outside of my current skill set, though.
“John Lennon, Bono and the rest of the gang”…Jimi, Usher, Madonna. That gang?
that engrish sign is actually really cute.
Engrish as a fifth language.
“Beware The Nine of March”
Beware the marching seven of nine.
Also, I never want to hang out with a couple named “Sky and Anna” for some reason.
What’s weird is I KNOW a couple named Sky and Anna, but this is definitely not them. How fucking many of them can there be?
It’s not Anna so much as Sky that makes me want to punch someone in the snoot.
Yeah. You just know Sky has one braid among his white guy dreads with a crystal woven into it, and he makes didgeridoos to sell at Bonneroo.
I assumed Sky and Anna were a lesbian couple who were getting married. I really shouldn’t be surprised that someone out there might have named their son Sky-my sons went to school with a boy named Yogi Baird.
I went to school with a Wendy Day and a kid named Badger. Hippie kid names and juggalo kid names are competing for the worst.
Damn… I was too slow. I blame trying to spell Brutus.
I thought it was the Ides of March to be aware of? Or maybe I’m just stabbing in the dark here…
I think you got thumbed down because it should be “to beware of”, not “be aware of”.
But I’m giving you a thumbs up for the stab in the dark comment!
Just proving the point that if English is your second language, better to be creative in your First one.
Or at least have someone check your work.
What’s to say that they didn’t have someone check their work?
They DO have someone check their work. Sadly, it’s another seller in this group.
Someone bought ‘Perfect Togeter’ for $29. Some “architect” is running around this planet convinced that the ‘Pizza Tower’ is a destination in Italy.
I need a hole, deep and dark and with no internet access.
I may be a cynical bitch (OK, I am) but I’m thinking her “designs” involve deciding what shit to glue on other shit.
Is that “Chocker Bib” for when you throw up?
A chocker bib is to keep your double chins from rolling down hill.
It took me a good 2-3 minutes to figure out what a “bango” is. And that’s with looking at the photo.
Me too! I was wondering if it was some new bedazzling thing where you let most of the glitter fall off.
What? You don’t think “togeter” is kinda cute?
It’s just like “I wuv you. We’ll be togeter always.”
I once threatened a boyfriend who insisted on saying “I wuv you’ with immediate castration. It’s cute when it’s a small child who’s just learning to talk. Less so when it’s a 42 year-old man with a degree in journalism.
so this is why we have so many dickless journalists on this fine planet!
True. That’s only cute when it’s done by a 36-year-old man with a degree in Computer Science.
With the “bango” derp all I can imagine is one Etsy seller clobbering another Etsy seller over the head and body with a banjo…
If she goes looking for a pizza tower in Rome she is gonna find something else… and she might not like what she experiences…
But if she looks in the city of Pisa instead, she will find a delightfully ascue bell tower…
you’re fast I was posting that too.
She wants pizza-her best bet is Napoli. I’ve seen many a leaning tower of pizza boxes here.
Yes, thank you. I thought something was awry with that comment, but my inner spellcheck is in a coma from reading the original post.
I see what you did there…. askew.
I heard the Feast of the Chestnuts was spectacular.
I’d like to believe the misspelling of “askew” was deliberate there.
Derper: Beware the Nines of March.
Caesar: What man is that?
Brutus: A derper bids you beware the Nines of March.
Caesar: Yeah. Thanks dude. Got that bit.
You too brutal, man.
Strangely enough, the tower of Pisa is in Pisa not Rome. Think that one is a double derp as well.
“I am Tina, an Architect, Artist and Computer gig.”
Bend over Tina, incoming data……..
Would you trust this person to design your building? A fraction of an inch off and the whole thing could come down on your head!
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
I wouldn’t trust th
I wouldn’t trust that person to design my MySpace page.
That whale is not gold.
It’s wight gold, silly.
That’s like regular gold, only it lives in a barrow and tries to kill hobbits. It’s pale because it’s undead.
So if I wear it near water, I will be attacked by undead whales?
Mmm, pizza tower! The ultimate and logical end-point of the escalating pizza-chain wars moves beyond an expanding diameter and boldly into the third dimension… Pizza Hut proudly presents: The Four-Story Pizza Tower, now with your choice of cardiac treatments.
The Engrish Labolatory sigh is absolutely adorable.
I love that Tina the computer gig describes nherself as a architect.
As such, I believe she should be familiar with the world’s important architectural treasures.
But no matter!
If she goes to Rome, she’ll find awesome architecture there as well.
She will not have a fucking clue what anything is, but who cares?
I hate though, that she calls me friend!
She’s not my friend, I don’t know even know her!
It’s right up there with calling all women “Mama”.
Something like that!
And I just realized she corrected Pizza to Pisa in the meantime. Well done!
She still thinks it’s in Rome though.
Italy, Tuscany, Rome, all the same, innit?
Now she’s corrected that, too. Tina must secretly be an FJL.
Pisa, that’s in Las Vegas right?
remind me of this…..
DANG IT! WHY CAN’T I PUT YOUTUBE VIDEO??!! i suck
Here, let me try. This is Disco the Parakeet (not mine) and he spells better than these sellers.
How were you trying to do it? I’m not too computer savvy. I just copy and pasted the URL. *shrugs*
Tina, we’ve been over this. Building houses in The Sims 3 does not make you an architect.
Chapeau! You win!
Comment of the day!
That means a lot, coming from you!
Three rocks glued to a piece of canvas that looks like it’s been dragged behind a car and we’re focusing on the misspelling. Yes, Etsy has jaded us.
That’s what I was thinking…the *derp* is not the biggest problem with most of these
What were these people doing in school when the rest of us were learning how to spell? (And learning where Pisa is.)
Went digging through that first shop, and cackled like a crazy person at this one:
That makes it sound like they have a disease. We’ve got dysentery! Whee!
Not to mention my favorite:
I do always like to commemorate tits plus ass with a little bit of tied up wood.
Truly a union that will last forever.
I would absolutely buy an 18 carat gold wight, it would make me the queen of my D&D group.
Am I the only one who sees a doggy style sex act in the “healing crystal sculpture” thingy?
Man standing on the right, woman/man draped over the “scull” with flailing arms..?
Cannot see anything else!
Huh, I thought it looked like an oddly proportioned fish- the stuff wrapping around the skull as the tail, the sticky out bit at the bottom right as the anal fins, the nubbies halfway up and near the top as pectoral fins (so they’re not parallel… it’s a *special* fish).
The Beetles….Bono….and Kool and the Gang….
Now, that’s a party. First Ringo plays a drum solo, Bono discusses Spiderman, and they all discuss building wells in Qatar and a bad time is had by all. Celebrate.
The ‘marching seven of nine’ did me in completely. And I kept having to scroll up to see all the misspellings, being a total visual person I was like WTF is wrong with this stuff, its all kinda cool…….then I read the rest of the comments by you FJLs……moi feel stupid. but hey at least I canz spellz. or not.
Our friend with the Weill also sells “bracelettes” and has a “gold bazar” section. Oh…. and there’s an “18k Gold pendent, well known among followers of holly Dalaei-Lama.”
How hard is it to find a person to help proofread your listings???
Oh, and there’s his “ME CHAIN” with a Cookie Lee tag on it:
Oh my. I like this one also: http://www.etsy.com/listing/101560970/sacred-words?ref=v1_other_1
SACRED WORDS ON LEATHER,, EXELLENT FOR NECKLES … POOOVVVEEERRR
Have people always been this illiterate and it’s just the Internet that has brought it to light? I can’t imagine how we’ve survived as a species this long.
I have worked with many students with various spelling and English language issues, and I can conclude that the Internet has definitely exposed the problem even more.
This makes the “have any questions?” link Etsy gloms on to each listing so much more meaningful. I have lots for this seller, starting with “how many times were you dropped on your head as an infant?” and “how closely related are your parents, anyway?”
hunh? 110? Clearly I’m not in the loop on sacred words. now 911, that would make sense
Fight the POOOVVVEEERRR!
Also: In what religion are 110 either words or sacred?
Someone else obviously wrote his Profile section. Definitely not Robert B.
Compare to this: http://www.etsy.com/listing/79379346/shah-maghsood-sun It makes my brain hurt.
Those rocks need fucking handles. I don’t care if they are heart-shaped, they are incomplete oterwise.
I knew I was going to be late to this party. Yes. Who in their right minds attempts to sell rocks without handles?
That might have worked in the old days, but we have standards now.
Pizza tower in Rome is on her to go list…I would live to watch her try to locate that!
Yes, it is a well known fact that the terminally ill will often live to see an event that means a lot to them, only to die shortly afterwards.
A *tower* of pizza, my good man! TO GO!
I just noticed, the weill is $25 to ship in the US and $35 to ship everywhere else…even though the wight is only 3.1 grams. Etsy never ceases to amaze me.
The person selling the “weill” also has some “ventage” olive wood beads.
YOU ARE ON ETSY. HOW THE HELL CAN YOU MISSPELL “VINTAGE”? It makes up a rough quarter of all the words on Etsy. You might as well type “steempunk” or “wimsickle” while you’re at it.
July 12, 2012
“Weill” got fixed. Now its a “wale.”
So much better.
No whale, no whale, I’ve seen a few dolphins, but I ain’t seen no whale.
No…those beach rocks are perfect to get’er. See a girl you like, hit ‘er in the head with a rock (an extra in case you miss) and once she’s stunned, go get’er.
Something in me says that English labolotoly (Sp— I have trouble purposefully misspelling words and want to correct them automatically.) would be perfect. If only because, due to my speech issues, I learned how to pronounce “abominable” only last year, and that is abominable and funny… if it had only been a cheeky bit of sarcasm and not a serious sign. And Bono only wishes he were a Beatle. As the gag goes, as much as I like U2, “The difference between God and Bono is that God doesn’t walk around thinking He’s Bono.”
never mind. We’ll call it “Sarcasm interruptus.”.
I want to see the reaction to this chick (probably while in Spain), when she starts asking locals about the Pizza tower.
I have been in a few pizza joints called something cutesy like “Eatsa Pisa” or exhibiting a leaning tower of pepperoni. It’s moments like that that I am grateful for celiac disease.
*gluten free high-five*
Good lord, I just now realized what “weill” is supposed to mean, after reading it for the 6th time.
Holy cow! Same thing here. I looked at it three times before I realized that “Weill” = whale. Still had to do a double take to make sure.
Why would you let your four-year-old fuck around with a perfectly good skull?
Please tell me that I am not the only one who looked at number 7 and thought “huh, bango skank was here”. Or am I the only uber dark tower nerd in the room?
Spelling aside, the sign was at least translated correctly. I live in Korea and half the time signs will say something like “Put your toilet paper in the trash can” in Korean, but then, “Flush the water” in English.
One of the people I play Draw Something with is a Korean friend. Usually he follows the rules and draws – but one time, he just sent the hint “Not high boat.” I thought and thought and was like, “wtf is a low boat” until I realized, “Oh…rowboat.”
We also once sang “A Whole New World” at norebang (like karaoke in your own private room) and his “rl” consonant blend was ADORABLE.
The girl selling the Beatles stickers sort of bitchily called me the typo police. I asked her what ‘Bono’ was a typo for and she deleted the listing.
Description of another item in the from the ‘Weill’ shop:
“Ancient old Persian Eye beads. Very very dard to find . Was worn by King Quenns , worear and Mobels. Known as. MADD HA”
KING QUENNS? WOREAR? MOBELS?
WOREARS?…. I just… I mean my sister is dyslexic and even as a small child she never butchered the spelling of a word so spectacularly.
King quenns? I got tree asses — I WEAN!
Wow. “Worear” must have taken me five minutes to puzzle out. And that’s with saying it out loud as many different ways as I could imagine.
I think it’s pretty bad that our “derp” roundup now has to include arrows for what is wrong…
Come on people, I thought we were smarter than that!
We’re smart; they’re just adding more and more typos.
Finally, having SOME internet connection fixed, I was able to catch up. Since my connection is still intermittent, I’ve simply made a list:
Wedding, “personalized ANTIC style”, personally, I haver no interest in the antics of these people!
#2: What the hell is a “Weill”? I have no idea!
Door Hanging: “labolatory” = Bathroom?
Leather “chocker”: I would choke anyone seen wearing it, especially to a “black tie affair”!
“Bango pins”: Getting banged tonight?
“Scull” bullshit: I’m beginning to wonder if there are a legion of 10 year olds selling on etsy!
Rocks “perfect togeter”: What the hell is an “inch ling”? New math maybe?
Pizza Tower: There is a sub shop just up the road from me named “Pizza Tower”, I will send her an invitation!
The door hanging is probably to a language lab. Universities have them..
Errr… because the direct English translation is either “toilet” or “bathroom”… and that’s not the Korean word for bathroom..
Um so “Weill” guy fixed his listing but he still spelled whale wrong…
I think the “labolatory” for “laboratory” is less derp and more “Hee! Racism is funny!”
I think it might be an honest mistake by a seller whose primary language is not English. R/L confusion is a real thing because those sounds are not distinct in most Asian languages.
Bono is my least favorite Beatle.
I have some shoddy, obviously bootleg, Rolling Stones stickers from the 90s that I picked up for $1 in Williamsburg. You think if I put it on Etsy for $25 + S&H it would sell?
How is it that I’ve been to Rome and never seen the famous Pizza tower? I have, however, seen the famous Lasagne tower in Pisa.
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