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How To Make a Vagina Cupcake

This post first appeared on Regretsy on July 29, 2011.

Particularly good if you are allergic to nuts.

70 comments on How To Make a Vagina Cupcake

  1. KatP
    July 8, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    It’s labialicious!

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  2. lemon_bombs
    July 8, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    No thanks. Etsy provides all the twat cupcakes I can handle.

    Thumb up Thumb down +84

  3. vicogin
    July 8, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    Fondont

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

    • KatP
      July 8, 2012 at 4:36 pm

      I need to make these with beer bread batter. I’ll be all, like, “eat my yeasty muffins, bitches.”

      Thumb up Thumb down +93

    • Sunkern
      July 9, 2012 at 6:19 am

      How about a red vuvlvet cake?

      Thumb up Thumb down +14

  4. Devil_Girl
    July 8, 2012 at 4:34 pm

    I would make a terrible lesbian because there is no way I’m eating that thing.

    Thumb up Thumb down +53

    • TollingSouthernBelle
      July 8, 2012 at 6:29 pm

      Wouldn’t that make you a better lesbian…?
      I mean, i would hope that kind of biting would be discouraged.
      or maybe I missed something… never understood penis cakes either.

      Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • Kitten Tears
      July 9, 2012 at 4:16 am

      If you choke on this does it count as pastry-erotic asphyxiation.

      Thumb up Thumb down +27

      • Mugsy Doodle
        July 9, 2012 at 9:53 am

        I wish I had more thumbs for that, Kitten Tears.

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

  5. Snarky_Sharky
    July 8, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    I think I’m a lesbian now. I have an insatiable urge to eat pussy. My husband will be thrilled!

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  6. vicogin
    July 8, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    These will sell well at the Long Beach PTA bake sale

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

    • Robot Hobo
      July 8, 2012 at 4:37 pm

      I’m in Long Beach. I’ll have to swing by and pick up a harem… I mean dozen.

      Thumb up Thumb down +29

      • Rubber_Wonder_Boy
        July 8, 2012 at 6:26 pm

        I’m here as well. Though, I will appreciate it if any of y’all will call & lemme know when there’s any scrumptious scrotum scones or tasty testes tarts.

        THANKS!

        Thumb up Thumb down +12

  7. skwerlylove
    July 8, 2012 at 4:36 pm

    Well, she promised me anatomically correct… but she keeps using the word vagina and I’m not sure she knows that that means.

    Thumb up Thumb down +100

    • skwerlylove
      July 8, 2012 at 4:37 pm

      “what that means”. I think this medical student should DRINK MORE tonight, and then celebrate by making some anatomically correct cupcakes.

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • lemon_bombs
      July 8, 2012 at 4:41 pm

      ITS A VULVA, DAMN IT, NOT A VAGINA

      …um, hi.

      Just needed to get that put of my system.

      Thumb up Thumb down +129

      • Puppetdawg
        July 9, 2012 at 6:14 am

        Maybe she fills the middles with strawberry jam. Then it would be a vagina cupcake….and convince some poor Red Tent party recipient that every month for the next 40 years she will be a tasty fruit jelly factory.

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • VeganVulva
        July 10, 2012 at 10:00 am

        In case you can’t tell from my screen name, I was yelling the same thing the whole (hole?) time.
        VULVA

        Thumb up Thumb down 0

  8. slovaksiren
    July 8, 2012 at 4:36 pm

    Very informative… in case I ever want to make a vagina cupcake which will probably be never.

    Unless I do something funny like putting a face on it, then maybe for a menopause party. I mean, if you are going to have a party celebrating your first period, why not a party when you begin to undergoe menopause?

    If there are Red Tent Parties for a wombyn’s first period, what would the hippies call a party celebrating menopause?

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • Snarky_Sharky
      July 8, 2012 at 4:39 pm

      A lot of women do celebrate menopause.

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • BagLadyFromHell
      July 8, 2012 at 4:46 pm

      Red Hot Mamas’ Night, what else?

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • lisbonlioness
      July 8, 2012 at 4:55 pm

      juiced out? Bloodstock? Our last summer?

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

    • trippingchristy
      July 8, 2012 at 5:29 pm

      They would probably call it a Crone Party.

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • slovaksiren
        July 8, 2012 at 9:25 pm

        A Crone Party sounds like I get magical wizard powers when I hit menopause.

        I also heard that if you are still a virgin in your 30s, you become a sorcerer.

        Thumb up Thumb down +17

    • harlequin_eyes
      July 8, 2012 at 5:53 pm

      If you did that, make sure you add googly eyes!

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • melagrana
      July 8, 2012 at 7:35 pm

      Last one out is a rotten egg party

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

  9. indy9999
    July 8, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    She better be making a whole cake if she’s including the “bladder area” and not just the urethra.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  10. cameragrrl
    July 8, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    If I was a wealthy woman, I would buy a bunch of those and have them delivered to the Michigan state Congress. Maybe the prudish Republicans would all have heart attacks and die, and Lisa Brown (et al.) would get to have her say. :P

    Thumb up Thumb down +103

  11. avatarofchaos
    July 8, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    Not that I ever plan on making one of these but y’know, if you’re going to all the trouble to record something as a teaching tool, do you think MAYBE it would be helpful if you actually showed what you were doing? I mean it was hella helpful to have her drawing squiggly lines in the air to demonstrate “detail.” Not just that, but if you’re going to be “edgy” enough to make these not all that anatomically correct “vagina” cupcakes, have the brass balls to actually use the right name for things. That coy cop our of “oh, you know” just doesn’t play in Peoria.

    Thumb up Thumb down +53

    • Mugsy Doodle
      July 8, 2012 at 5:22 pm

      Are you sure? I’ve BEEN in Peoria (and Peoria Heights–woot woot!) and they’re pretty coy people. :(

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

  12. Pfeffernusse
    July 8, 2012 at 4:47 pm

    The wink killed me, I just–eww, the wink.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  13. lisbonlioness
    July 8, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    I think that if I have another couple of glasses of cheaparse wine and draw the curtains really tight, I might just feel a tiny little bit aroused by how gently that brush strokes the… vagina (for want of a better word). Oh, wait. Maybe I’ll just go and throw up whatver booze I’ve already consumed and call it a night this time. Before you come up with a video of how to add natural looking hair to a fondant twat.
    Burp.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  14. mcsprinkles
    July 8, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    I like how she suddenly gets shy about the whole thing halfway through. I feel like if you’re already to the point of making food in the shape of human genitalia, you should be pretty comfortable describing the thing that you’re making.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  15. Bad Miss M Chardin
    July 8, 2012 at 4:55 pm

    I knew I didn’t want to watch the whole thing so I forwarded it to a random point, just in time to hear her say “carve the detail to separate the bladder area,” which are a bunch of words that shouldn’t be in the same sentence. And if that’s really your “bladder area,” you should have that prolapse seen to.

    Thumb up Thumb down +47

  16. Shira
    July 8, 2012 at 4:56 pm

    …You think they’d make them with red velvet cupcakes?

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

    • Mugsy Doodle
      July 8, 2012 at 5:21 pm

      Perfect for the Red Tent Party! Just when the poor adolescent girl whose mother has humiliated her with such a party–and invited friends and family–thinks it can’t get any worse, out come the dessert.

      Perhaps they could do a molten lava version?

      Thumb up Thumb down +18

      • Shirley Knott
        July 8, 2012 at 10:05 pm

        Oh, for a self-saucing vagina cupcake!

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

  17. NanaB
    July 8, 2012 at 5:05 pm

    She might increase her market if she called them yoni’s and offered them in Michigan, where vagina would be a turnoff.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  18. yddraiggoch1240
    July 8, 2012 at 5:11 pm

    Sweetie, before you make something that’s claimed to be “anatomically correct”, you may want to take a fucking ANATOMY CLASS. I’m not even an MD and I know that was wrong!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  19. ZennyBumBum
    July 8, 2012 at 6:01 pm

    Hmm I’ll take two Cuntcakes, 4 Chocolate Salty Balls and any other of your Vanereal Dessies you have kicking around.. Do you have Bondagebread men too?

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

    • avatarofchaos
      July 9, 2012 at 4:08 am

      Actually, I’d buy bondagebread men because if done with any modicum of talent, they’d be amusing as hell.

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

      • Sunkern
        July 9, 2012 at 6:14 am

        You know what, I am going to bake some now. Glace cherries cut in half will probably make excellent ballgags.

        Thumb up Thumb down +10

  20. bumPoo
    July 8, 2012 at 6:13 pm

    If I were her (thank FHM i am not!), I would’ve stopped at “clitoris.”

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

  21. Zippy
    July 8, 2012 at 7:04 pm

    Not mentioned: strawberry filling.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • Mugsy Doodle
      July 8, 2012 at 7:09 pm

      Not mentioned…until you mentioned it and now I can’t get the image out of my head.

      Thank you. No, really, THANK YOU!

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

      • Unfortunate Chain Reaction
        July 9, 2012 at 8:53 am

        Ah, shucks. Where’s the love for the custard-filled ones? Maybe a bit of lemon curd?

        Thumb up Thumb down +7

  22. Yoni Mitchell
    July 8, 2012 at 7:57 pm

    Who will snatch these up?

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

    • Sunkern
      July 9, 2012 at 6:07 am

      Everyone who wants to have their pussy and eat it!

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  23. Good4ursoul
    July 8, 2012 at 8:32 pm

    My Vagina doesn’t look like that. And that lady called the labia the lips….there is a difference right? And why aren’t there outer lips? Why are there never outer lips on vagina art?

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • avatarofchaos
      July 9, 2012 at 4:09 am

      Considering her work on the rest, do you really want to see her rendition of meat curtains?

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • angel drawers
      July 9, 2012 at 4:25 am

      The word labia means “lips”.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • Unfortunate Chain Reaction
      July 9, 2012 at 8:59 am

      Most vulva art solely depicts the vulva and does include the labia majora, just not detailed well because it’s at the perimeter. What you don’t usually see is the urethra, mons pubis, or perineum.

      The labia majora (a.k.a. big lips) on that cupcake are that “outer circle” bit that’s just a bit puffy.

      And no, your vulva probably doesn’t look like that, the appearance of female genitalia is pretty varied.

      But it’s just a fucking cupcake, so who really gives a shit?

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

  24. craftymama1
    July 8, 2012 at 9:49 pm

    Ok I don’t even know where to start… But Anatomically correct? If the clitoris is really supposed to be that big, my boyfriend would be able to find it evey time.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

    • ConsumingShadows
      July 8, 2012 at 10:14 pm

      Haha, that was like the first thing I noticed was how large and pointy the clitoris was, and I didn’t even watch the video, that was just from the preview still…

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • Flik
      July 9, 2012 at 8:19 am

      Spoilers: Not every clitoris looks like your clitoris.

      There are actual crimes against anatomy in that video that aren’t just normal variations. You’d think with all of the bajingos (bajingoes? bajingi? meese?) that have shown up on here that would have rubbed off on more people.

      Though I guess if you don’t swing that way …

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • mfj
        July 13, 2012 at 3:12 pm

        Hey if the oversized clit on these teaches someone what to look/feel for later, all the better.

        I just hope the bakery doesn’t discard the ones that didn’t turn out “perfect”.

        Thumb up Thumb down 0

  25. mustachioed_bajingo_buttons
    July 8, 2012 at 11:09 pm

    WTH? Last time I checked, my “bladder area” *wasn’t* on the outside of my body. Or my…you know…vagina, either. But at least I think I’ve now discovered what I’ll be baking for my daughter’s 16th birthday party next week. Can’t wait to see the look on her & her friends’ faces…& if it was anything like mine when I saw the finished version, it will, indeed, be as priceless as this woman suggests!

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • Shirley Knott
      July 8, 2012 at 11:10 pm

      Pictures will be demanded of you.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

  26. GlindaBunny
    July 8, 2012 at 11:40 pm

    Wait is that fondant? Ewwwww.

    Also… “neon pink” isn’t natural looking for that area.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • avatarofchaos
      July 9, 2012 at 4:10 am

      Three words: My Pink Button

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

  27. Kayatica
    July 9, 2012 at 1:43 am

    Oh for the love of God tell me they come in peach.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  28. Inger
    July 9, 2012 at 3:04 am

    - How exactly did you get frosting into your pee hole Mr. Johnson?
    - >_>

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  29. Prufrock
    July 9, 2012 at 3:36 am

    Anatomically correct my arse, or rather, snatch.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • Sunkern
      July 9, 2012 at 6:05 am

      Speaking of arses, I am now going to start baking cupcakes that look like Andrew Garfield’s ass.

      http://unfilteredlens.com/wp-content/images/spider-man2_2.jpg I mean, that would make a much better cupcake then one that looks like an infected vagina, right?

      I can’t figure out whether there will actually be a market for that, or if this is merely the start of a spiral into dead celebrity rosary beads and ponchos made from dried placentas.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  30. BostonCreamy
    July 9, 2012 at 6:21 am

    These instructions are so discriminatory. I mean, maybe those are the colors of, like, Barbie’s “vagina” (vulva) but not everyone who wants to make a vagina cupcake is a WASP.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • Sunkern
      July 9, 2012 at 6:49 am

      I am so tempted to bake “chocolate vagina cupcakes” just for the name.

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • agonzalez
      July 9, 2012 at 1:11 pm

      i felt really gross after having this thought: I wonder if she makes blue waffle cupcakes

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • ChristianRose
      July 9, 2012 at 1:38 pm

      In fairness, the only colour she mentions is the red and pink for the painting part, and the innermost areas of the vast majority of vulvas are that colour. Well, maybe not ‘neon pink’, but you get my drift.

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

  31. Ill advised apostrophe
    July 10, 2012 at 2:44 am

    Wait, wait, my urethra is supposed to be NEXT to the clitoris? And couldnt she have used chocolate curls for the pubic hair?

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  32. Shaniataint
    July 10, 2012 at 6:39 am

    I guess her carpet matches the drapes. But, where’s the demo for those of us with razor burn?
    NB. Anyone else get the crackhead vibe from her?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

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