This post first appeared on Regretsy in August of 2011
“Go deep child” … somehow I don’t think they are talking about football.
And, lo, with a crack of thunder, did God punt the holy football of Antioch. And God said, “Go deep.”
Suddenly the Virgin Mary crying blood doesn’t seem like such a miracle.
Mary had Blue Waffle? Clearly this disproves the whole ‘virgin’ thing, right?
Mary lived INSIDE the blue waffle.
OK – now know what I’m NOT having for breakfast tomorrow. If anything perverse/vile/etc. has been named after french toast PLEASE wait 24 hours before sharing.
Oh how nice. A clit piercing.
Yoni – Live At The Acrotcholis.
He plays a mean skin flute at that concert.
A year later and it’s still a piece of pretentious pseudo-hippy crap.
Which somebody purchased…go figure!
Hey – a cookie from Kniqui is like a hallmark card: when you only care enough to send the very best.
I’m calling it now: Best ‘Grease’ joke to ever appear on Regretsy.
Come to Mary; she don’t mind
Come to Mary; she don’t mind
Because everybody gets to have their time
Come to Mary; she don’t mind
~Jesse Sykes & the Sweet Hereafter
You could display your ping-pong ball collection in it.
Or your cucumbers.
I started to wonder why it’s blue, and then decided that I don’t actually want to spend any time thinking about that.
Instead I’m going to think about… um… ice cream. Yeah. Delicious ice cream.
Yes lets not go further down the road of the blue waffle
It’s blue because blue is traditional in art for the Blessed Virgin Mother’s robes.
Of course, that tradition never previously included portraying the Blessed Virgin Mother as a vulva, a development that makes blue a less appropriate choice, at least among human Christians.
“Go deep child”?
Dude – it’s like
master your innerness
contemplate the void
interior your exterior
some other hippy-dippy happy hosreshit hooey
I would like to send one of these to the Michigan House of Representatives for them to hang on their Wall.
If you called it a Yoni, they could do that. Call it a vagina, though, and they’ll hunt you down and shackle you barefoot in the kitchen.
So “Yoni” is some new agey word for vagina? Serious question- I’ve never heard that word before.
I had to look it up, too. It’s not New Age–it’s Sanskrit for ‘vagina.’ It also means “sacred passage,” but I don’t think that’s the nuance the creator was going for.
Actually, that’s probably exactly what she meant: Mary’s vag was the sacred passage through which Jesus entered the world.
I never heard of it either really… I mean, I thought a yoni sounded like a really cute fuzzy little animal native to Asia or some Japanese mythical creature or something…
“Look at the cute little yoni, in her natural habitat. This is a rare bald yoni. Shh! Don’t scare her!”
Yoni does sound cute…way cuter than “vagina” or “snatch”…I’m not a big fan of “pussy”, either…I think PlumJo’s plum is going to be called a yoni now.
“Yoni” is a New Age term popular amongst the kale-and-yoga set. It (loosely) means: “I can’t spell ‘vagina’ and am not brave enough to use the term ‘pussy’”
Too much of a pussy to use the term pussy…
Lil Wayne put it perfectly:
“Hey, pussy, play with pussy or play pussy”
yoni is vagina, and lingam is penis.
it’s hindu/indian origin, so of course the hippies are using it.
My husband has a copy of a sort of adaptation of the Kama Sutra, with directions for different sexual positions.
When they mean ‘stick it in her’, they always say, politely, ‘introduce the lingam’.
This has led to hours of entertainment, involving formal introductions of body parts. “Lingam, this is yoni. Yoni, lingam.”
It’s got the disturbing feature of appearing as though it was painted by a child.
Maybe there’s a “collective” of six-year-olds in China helping produce these?
The only comfort there is that perhaps they’re too young to notice how weird and disturbing this is.
Your hoo-hoo would be blue, too, if God had just done you.
Which God? Cause I’m thinking that hottie Loki could.. um.. I’ll be back in a bit, gotta go take a shower. A long, hot, wet.. shower.
The same Loki who turned into a mare to distract some horses and proceeded to get pregnant and birth some monsters, or another one?
I’d love to see the church that has that on their altar.
The Church of Latter Day Taints.
That might not even be weird to Scientologists.
needs a UFO to fit in there. and it’s not expensive enough.
Maybe it’s just me, but these days whenever I see the term “yoni” pop up I want to punch someone in the face.
I want to punch someone in the crotch.
It’s a vagina folks. All woman have them, and in Western culture, they are neither mystical nor sacred. So stop smoking the kale in your garden and get a decent job, you hippie.
I thought it was okra?
Color Me Mine♥♥♥
Your post and your avatar combined made me giggle with glee.
The choice of gloss paint makes it yuckier to me. I really don’t want to touch a shiny blue snizz.
Hubby just pointed out that it would, however, be perfect for Doctor Manhattan and his giant glowing blue schlong.
Ya know, I just got someone on Huffington Post to google that. Here’s the result:
I’m only adding the link because the screenshot of the thread is too big to post here.
I think my “Yoni” is more like an Oni…
not that anyone would know what an Oni is… Also, I can’t see any hymens on that vagina… maybe Mary isn’t so much a virgin after all, also, it looks very heart-shaped. I have never seen a Vagina that is heart shaped… Must of not seen enought vaginas.
Red oni or blue oni?
A pink oni after I used “My Pink Button” on it.
From what I understand, an Oni is basically an Asian ogre,
Thank you, slovaksiren, for introducing me to “My Pink Button.”
This product deserves it’s own special place on my bathroom counter…Right next to my “Anal Bleaching Kit.”
(I’m going for that ‘Barely Legal’ look down there.
the lozenge shape, which is often used in depictions of the virgin mary, is said to be a yoni, representing the second principle which comes between man, and child.
that said, WHAT IN THE FUCK.
I’ve been begging my priest for years to let me cover the altar in vaginas, I’ll have to steer him toward this shop so he can see what I’m going for..
Holy, holey, wholly shitty!
Kniqui? Is that Etsy for Nicki?
Or did Kenickie from Grease become a hippie artist in later life?
Great. Now I keep repeating the idiotic phrase: a hicky from Kenickie. Damn you, Etsy!
Poor Mary. She never got to use her hoo-hah for anything besides childbirth in her lifetime, and now middle aged hippies are sticking her in oversized representations of someone else’s.
Wait, is that a real Catholic belief? Who are the guys called “the brothers of Jesus” in scripture supposed to be? Did Joseph have two wives?
Among older Catholics, it was a traditional belief. The “brothers” could have been cousins or sons of Joseph by a first wife, since supposedly he was much older than Mary.
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to top this.
I give up.
I am intrigued by the hood jewelry. Impractical, but strangely attractive.
My vagina looks nothing the Virgin Mary.
Having been raised Catholic I find this highly confusing. We were never supposed to touch that part of our body or let the boys touch it, or talk about it, let alone make a shrine to the blessed virgin out of a clay sculpture of one.
Hail Mary… er, never mind. Dear me, is this my punishment for writing “wombyn” the other day? It hurt so much to do that… I never can misspell on purpose easily. Rocks and woman hood. I think the spirits are calling to me. I’ll pay my own bail. Have a happy period…always!
“wombyn 3 up, 16 down
feminine energy, womyn (woman)
we are a womb
we are not a man so a word is born.
the wombyn is very lovely, indeed.
the wombyn is having a baby, right now!
a wombyn can be your best friend.”
I’m sorry, but don’t women want to be seen as people, rather then being degraded to simply being the packaging for a nine month baby meat hotel?
The scary thing is, it gets worse. I’m not so sure if I’d want to be a milf or a milk machine (I rather enjoyed Alice on the Vicar of Dibley after giving birth: “The health visitor explained that I didn’t actually have to eat grass…”) I hope some “wombyn” doesn’t decide to make a Hail Mary Yoni Uteri Pillow with legs.
“Wombyn! Because we’re not people, we’re just the meat envelope our reproductive systems come in!”
I think I’d be amused by a pair of ovaries and a uterus in a can can skirt with lace stockings. Amused… but I’m cracked, and possibly have had too much sun today. And I wouldn’t buy it. Unless of course, it was for a good cause. Like “Let’s Get Sean Bean to pose for Playgirl”, or something. or Richard Armitage.
Has anyone looked at the other things in this shop? April picked the most tasteful item in there. Seriously.
Shit, you’re right. WTF is the “black heart of doom”?
I think I can connect this item with Picasso and the British Royal Family.
I guess that would only apply to females in the Royal Family. I hit the “post” button a little too soon there.
Ah, finally explains all the feminine protection commercials with the blue liquid.
Holy shit? I thought it was “Holy Clit”.
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Ha ha! Yes she is shaped like a vagina, where the clit is located. cracking up XD
Took me a few moments but now I recall this verse. It’s one of William Shakespeare’s less romantic efforts, thought to have been written in his youth when he was on a bender and infatuated with a local bar wench.
Then sigh not so
But let clothes go
And be you nude and bonny
When I ask
Please do not say no,
To “Hey, let me see your yoni”
there’s nothing funnier than a Shakespeare paraody where the “bard” pens requests to see a woman’s vagina. Just imagine!!! ha ha XD good joke. Shakespeare said nonny but you said poni, which is a vagina. xDDDDD hahaha laughing so hard!
Calm down, you’ll have an aneurysm. And considering some of the things Shakespeare actually wrote…
it’s a woman shaped like a vagina. xD He he you can imagine the wings and clit!
Mary Clam, meet Giant Penis Lady: http://www.etsy.com/listing/74361007/mature-content-giant-penis-sculpture-man
It’s a match made in heaven. Or on Etsy, anyway.
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