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I Know Why the Birdcage Stinks

This post first appeared on Regretsy in July of 2011


If I was your city, I’d throw chunks of metal at you too.

63 comments on I Know Why the Birdcage Stinks

  1. vanessarush
    July 1, 2012 at 9:32 am

    I read that as “blow chunks,” which I think might be more appropriate.

    The use of the halogen light bulb in this way would piss off even Al Gore.

    Thumb up Thumb down +38

    • Unbridled Travetsy
      July 1, 2012 at 10:12 am

      That is a CFL, not a halogen.

      Maybe she broke a few and the mercury fumes got to their brain.

      Thumb up Thumb down +19

      • Zippy
        July 1, 2012 at 1:03 pm

        CFL – FJL – WTF – wait, I think I’m on to something here – JFK – KFC… Nope, I was just hungry. Go about you business.

        Thumb up Thumb down +16

  2. yddraiggoch1240
    July 1, 2012 at 9:33 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -19

  3. Luciferadi
    July 1, 2012 at 9:39 am

    I dunno. The shadows might look kind of neat when it’s lit up. Or that could just be the Ny-Quil talking.

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    • abbynormal
      July 1, 2012 at 9:41 am

      if your nyquil is talking you need to cut back on the LSD… or craft something for Etsy.

      Thumb up Thumb down +56

    • forty-nine dollar suit
      July 1, 2012 at 12:02 pm

      Sure, add a shroud of some kind- cloth, etc over the cage, so as just to see the shadows, and it might be an interesting accent light. Maybe.

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      • Zippy
        July 1, 2012 at 1:07 pm

        Once a bunch of moths got under the shroud and started flying into the light it would be a hell of a show. The cat would be up all night.

        Thumb up Thumb down +26

      • morningbarnwood
        July 2, 2012 at 12:32 pm

        If by “shroud” you mean “hefty garbage bag”, and by “shadows” you mean “someone could toss that hefty bag into the trash”, then I think this could all work out in the end.

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  4. abbynormal
    July 1, 2012 at 9:39 am

    “dropping berries on my head” i think she means a guy named Barry dropped her on her head.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • Rubber_Wonder_Boy
      July 1, 2012 at 10:08 am

      I thot she meant dingleberries.

      Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • LeeLooDallas
      July 1, 2012 at 10:52 am

      When a bird craps on your head you can just shake your fist at it… or make this thing as a warning to other birds.

      Thumb up Thumb down +23

  5. PeacefulDave
    July 1, 2012 at 9:41 am

    Despite all my rage I am still just a lamp in a cage.

    Thumb up Thumb down +205

  6. That Goddamn Steampunktopus
    July 1, 2012 at 9:41 am

    Are you sure the city isn’t throwing chunks of metal at the seller’s head and just keeps missing.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  7. SlySevSteph
    July 1, 2012 at 9:43 am

    She blinded me…with bad crafts. Could anyone look directly at this “lamp?”

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

    • myfootyrthroat
      July 1, 2012 at 10:06 am

      That was my thought. The idea isn’t terrible, but having that bare bulb is going to make it hard to be near this thing.

      Thumb up Thumb down +17

      • Ladyamericana
        July 1, 2012 at 1:21 pm

        Yes – you could actually take this idea and make it pretty by painting it a nice color, lining the inside with sheer fabric, and putting cut outs of bird shapes inside to create a shadow.

        Thumb up Thumb down +13

        • reddogbon
          July 1, 2012 at 2:24 pm

          Then hang it up as a warning to my pets, that if they don’t behave they’ll end up as the silouettes. “See what happens to bad birds?”

          Aaaand the conure is taunting me (again).

          Thumb up Thumb down +19

        • CrabOfDoom
          July 1, 2012 at 8:47 pm

          And by not taking a $2 lamp rewiring kit straight out of the package and just letting the weight of the cage rest on the socket and put stress on the cord, instead of actually mounting it to something.

          The execution is obscenely lazy for $99, and makes me wonder where else in her house lampshades are sitting directly on the bulbs.

          Thumb up Thumb down +13

  8. Zalkine
    July 1, 2012 at 9:46 am

    My favourite part is how it has been hung in a tree with a lightbulb and cable and everything.

    Also if someone dropped berries on my head I’d be pretty hacked off with them, just sayin’.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  9. maurganne
    July 1, 2012 at 10:01 am

    The sad thing is that the concept isn’t terrible. It just requires someone to apply a little actual talent and give-a-fuck-ness.

    Thumb up Thumb down +37

    • Elysapeth
      July 1, 2012 at 11:54 am

      I don’t even think it would take much talent.. just give-a-fuck enough to attache a small cheap lamp dome to the top

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

  10. lemon_bombs
    July 1, 2012 at 10:04 am

    I think some of that metal hit her head, and she is mistaking concussion symptoms for creativity.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  11. NanaB
    July 1, 2012 at 10:04 am

    It appears that the birds have flown their coop.

    And of course, we must ask, why does no one cry for the (assumed) dead birds?

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  12. Cockamamie Jamie
    July 1, 2012 at 10:14 am

    She needs to quit wandering through that city of creativity and find a much more creative one!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • OhHowMyBrainHurts
      July 1, 2012 at 11:00 am

      Shhh. I think the city of creativity only exists in her head. She might get violent if you invalidate her delusions.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  13. janmcbaker
    July 1, 2012 at 10:15 am

    I don’t know… I don’t think they’re berries….

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • RevW
      July 2, 2012 at 10:00 am

      Residents of Creativity City! You are advised to stay indoors and avoid crafting until the hail of “berries” has moved on to Arcata.

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

  14. Toejam Sammie
    July 1, 2012 at 10:20 am

    Ooooh! I’m seeing a chandelier made out of that chain-link fencing that someone must have tried to throw over the top of her. Now, all she needs is someone to scale a pole and steal a streetlight so that she can hang it artfully by the industrial sized cable. Can’t imagine the price tag on that one though if the $10 she has into this one is any indication.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  15. OhHowMyBrainHurts
    July 1, 2012 at 10:26 am

    I’m sorry, when I look at that it just looks like a heat lamp at the supermarket designed to keep the cooked chickens warm. Poor birds.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  16. rushgirl2112
    July 1, 2012 at 11:29 am

    Wow, that looks cheep.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  17. Thinlyslicedcabbage
    July 1, 2012 at 11:51 am

    *pining for the fjords*

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  18. bschooled
    July 1, 2012 at 11:59 am

    You know there’s a problem when the city of creativity starts bullying you.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  19. devilpaw
    July 1, 2012 at 12:26 pm

    Nothing better than a metal object dangling from an electrical cord. I’m certain it’s 100% UL approved and safe.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  20. Matt Johnson
    July 1, 2012 at 12:36 pm

    That is one of the most budget stabs at creativity I have ever seen.

    You could go to the dump with a friend and stand 100 feet apart and grab the first thing each of your feet touches and throw it at each other and the resulting collision would be better than this piece o’ shit.

    As someone who works in found objects, this is about as offensive and fucking lazy as it gets. A HUNDRED DOLLARS???!!! I’d ask them for $25 just to bring it back to the dump.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  21. Zippy
    July 1, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    I confess I threw an “old chunk of metal” at their feet. It was still a perfectly good bear trap but could have been repurposed as a celery/carrot chopper maybe a sconce?

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

    • LeeLooDallas
      July 1, 2012 at 1:22 pm

      Urinal?

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

      • Zippy
        July 1, 2012 at 1:30 pm

        You’re-in-all up to your waist!

        Thumb up Thumb down 0

        • Bejeweled Bajingo Beauty
          July 1, 2012 at 9:01 pm

          That’s “waste” to you, dearie.

          Thumb up Thumb down +1

  22. Zippy
    July 1, 2012 at 1:43 pm

    If threading a (manufactured) lamp wire through the bars of a (manufactured) cage and sticking some (manufactured) birds to it qualifies as “hand-made” then I’m in! I’m off to get raw materials to make hand-made furniture for my new shop “Ikeastsy”

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • RevW
      July 2, 2012 at 10:03 am

      Ooooo, Ikeastsy! I do love a new descriptive term.

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • Postmenopaws ™
      July 2, 2012 at 10:37 am

      “Ikeastsy”: screwing shit to other shit.

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

  23. Inger
    July 1, 2012 at 1:53 pm

    I start to believe more and more that Etsy is made up of talented people, wannabe talented people, and hoarders with an excuse. Where else would you find all the crap to glue to other crap people? Get help for it!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  24. Crossbow
    July 1, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    Points for creativity… it’s non-functional and ugly, but I’m pretty sure no one else has ever thought of it.

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

  25. Sunkern
    July 2, 2012 at 6:46 am

    If she used an old fashioned birdcage, that would be fine. I’ve actually wanted one of them for ages, though it will have to wait until I get my own place, so I can hang it from the ceiling.

    This birdcage is pretty ugly, even for it’s intended purpose of imprisoning a budgie or a canary. Sticking a candle and spray painting it red isn’t going to change that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  26. RevW
    July 2, 2012 at 10:06 am

    That’s farm type chick wire over her crawl space opening in the background … basement chickens…

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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