PEOPLE ARE AWESOME
This post first appeared on Regretsy in July of 2011
One of the great things about Etsy is that it affords any vulture with marginal talent the ability to make a few bucks on the back of tragedy.
So today, as the nation is reeling from one of the most shocking verdicts in recent memory, let us exploit a dead baby with some neat stickers and bad felt marker drawings.
Bonus points for NO portion of the proceeds benefiting the victim or any child abuse charity!
Click thumbnails for larger images
June 30, 2012 at 9:32 am
I’m reminded of this.
June 30, 2012 at 9:32 am
This post should come with free liquor because I get less irate when I’ve had a few.
June 30, 2012 at 9:34 am
I’m going to second that idea. After reading this, I need to spend my Saturday hammered, if at all possible.
June 30, 2012 at 10:04 am
Let’s see:
* New bottle of coconut rum
* Crushed fresh mint leaves
… I might be missing a couple of ingredients, but have a couple of these on faith and then you won’t be able to tell they aren’t real mojitos. *passes the pitcher*
June 30, 2012 at 10:44 am
I wouldn’t CARE if they weren’t real mojitos. RUM!
June 30, 2012 at 9:44 am
To Whom It May Conceern –
You shall sease and desist from displaying itums and/or objects that assume and/or are repdicted upon the guilt of my client Casey Anthony.
A full jury of her Florida piers found her not guilty and she is actively helping authoritative officials in helping find the persons who took to the forest.
Sincerely,
Howard Schechter
Attorney at Law
Santa Barbara, CA
June 30, 2012 at 9:48 am
Lowbrow Casey was, ‘closed by ebay for being “Violent Materials” ‘.
Somehow this made me laugh.
June 30, 2012 at 9:51 am
Hey, don’t mean to detract from these ‘awesome’ tragicrafts, I’ve barely been able to post anything for days. Most of my posts never show up in the comments, and when I try to repost I get this message:
Duplicate comment detected; it looks as though you’ve already said that!
June 30, 2012 at 9:55 am
Haven’t you already said that?
June 30, 2012 at 10:00 am
Did it show up twice?
That was my third attempted post. Though the first is a normal comment.
June 30, 2012 at 10:26 am
That’s been happening to me a lot, too. It’s weird.
June 30, 2012 at 10:43 am
It destroys the comedic pace for me, you know? You start to over-think the jokes because you have 3 tries to get them up.
June 30, 2012 at 11:57 am
It really does ruin the mood when you have to try so hard to get it up.
June 30, 2012 at 12:32 pm
That comment now has me picturing a guy throwing jokes through a tire while a voice shills for Comediagra.
June 30, 2012 at 12:48 pm
I’m picturing Smilin’ Bob now.
June 30, 2012 at 9:54 am
Wouldn’t one think a lawyer could spell?
June 30, 2012 at 10:02 am
June 30, 2012 at 10:03 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 30, 2012 at 10:08 am
My preference for pets over people comes from the tendency of the latter to try to profit from this dead baby’s case..whether it’s Nancy Grace or misfit fuck ups on Etsy, does not matter.
June 30, 2012 at 10:34 am
(Sorry for initially being off-topic) but AMEN, sister.
That soulless bleach-blonde demon spawn will tell you not to watch her interviews, or buy any books or magazines with her on it, as not to support her. But, Its okay for NANCY to profit off of dragging her name through the mud on the news. She does that with every story she covers. She is much more evil than any of the “criminals” she “reports” on.
She is my favorite woman to love to hate though. I even have a notebook filled with crude caricature sketches of her, accompanied by musings of what I assume to be her inner dialogue. I wonder if I opened an Etsy store, would they sell?
June 30, 2012 at 10:44 am
Dude.
June 30, 2012 at 10:48 am
You have a notebook filled with sketches of Nancy Grace? Really? That’s totally weird and kind of funny. What an odd person to have an obsession with.
I knew this lady when I was young who was obsessed with Doc Severenson (bandleader from the Johnny Carson Tonight Show). She was convinced that he was her “Guardian Angel”, and that he also was doing a very poor job of it. She sent him hundreds of letters, and stalked him until he had to get a restraining order against her.
June 30, 2012 at 1:36 pm
Really. I mean, don’t you have a notebook filled with sketches of Nancy Grace? She is my guardian angel.
Excuse me, I have a sampler to go stitch…
June 30, 2012 at 5:56 pm
My sketchbook is filled with sketches of Weird Al Yankovic. He provides the soundtrack to my life’s awkward discoveries.
Excuse me, I have a crossword puzzle to pretend to finish…
June 30, 2012 at 7:14 pm
I have a mental notebook of cartoons I’d like to animate one day (like, when I magically acquire the patience to learn to animate,) but they usually involve ways to make stupid/overly-serious commercials funny, athletes doing wild takes, Roombas wearing costumes and people being comically run over by giant props.
Haven’t considered Nancy Grace yet, but she might one day give rise to a series of People Who Explode For No Reason shorts.
June 30, 2012 at 10:53 am
Kinda by your logic, Helen Killer is worse than all the dirty hippies and wholesale “handmade” divas on Etsy because she also talks about it, and makes money off it. While I agree Nancy Grace is a douchenozzle, saying she’s worse than a woman who, whether she killed her kid or not, definitely did act in a way after her daughter’s death that I can’t accept ANY mother doing, is such a reach for me. Is she a hypocrite? Absolutely. But worse than the people she rails against? Yeah, no.
June 30, 2012 at 11:55 am
Do it, that would be awesome!
June 30, 2012 at 10:14 am
At first I thought it was about the Supreme Court’s healthcare decision until I started looking at the supreme display of tragicrafting. Thank goodness I looked. Although, really, this is beyond tacky.
June 30, 2012 at 10:54 am
Did people create stuff on etsy about the health care decision??? Because if they did I totally want to see it! It’s gotta be as amazeballs as the tweets from disappointed conservatives wanting to move to Canada to get away from “socialist America”. Hmm, maybe someone should stitch these on a pillow- http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/people-moving-to-canada-because-of-obamacare
June 30, 2012 at 3:46 pm
I hope they enjoy the amazeball healthcare and gay marriage in Canada.
June 30, 2012 at 5:39 pm
I’m not sure some of those folks understand that Canada is not legally required to let them in.
June 30, 2012 at 7:17 pm
That is the single best response to those idiots I’ve yet seen.
June 30, 2012 at 10:19 am
Remind me to kick the twit that said, “You can buy a photograph of Ted Bundy on Ebay!!!” in the cooter. I hate people.
June 30, 2012 at 10:40 am
You also CAN kill a ton of people, too. That doesn’t mean you SHOULD.
June 30, 2012 at 10:29 am
..and I think, Helen Killer, that is not how you spell Assholes.
June 30, 2012 at 10:32 am
“I also did a rendition of that one with Casey having more pointed ears and a crown; she looks kind of like a pixie/elf/nymph”
Yeah. That will heal the pain.
June 30, 2012 at 10:35 am
What’s funny and horrible to me is that so many of these people who make this shit really think they’re “doing it for the cause”. Like the “prayer cards”- I mean, come-fucking-on….that’s gross and weird-you’re not forwarding a cause of any sort.
June 30, 2012 at 10:38 am
These are the sorts of people who end up doing a “Munchausen’s Syndrome by Proxy” type smother-murder.
June 30, 2012 at 5:43 pm
The prayer card strikes me as the least offensive. That’s not to say it’s not a little weird, but praying for the child at least seems like a normal human response. OK, buy a prayer card, and remember the little girl in your prayers.
Trying to convince people that they want to have a jokesy picture of said murder victim on their car’s trunk (ha ha fucking ha), or a picture of her mother and probable killer looking like a pixie or nymph is much…less…a normal human response.
June 30, 2012 at 7:26 pm
But, how bad is your (general “your”) memory that you can’t remember the kid’s name long enough to say your prayers before bed, and need to buy a card (that in Etsy time usually requires 1-2 weeks to arrive) to remind you? Are there people who have whole decks of people to pray for, shuffling through them every night like an odd game of solitaire?
How busy are you that you can’t say a prayer for someone right then and there when you hear about them, and again need to purchase a reminder? Does God not get the message in one shot, or do you have to keep repeating it every night forever to prove your sincerity?
If it’s not for someone in your immediate life, the logic behind prayer cards obviously baffles me.
June 30, 2012 at 10:55 am
Zombies have the right idea!
June 30, 2012 at 1:44 pm
Are they chewing on Casey Anthony’s face?
June 30, 2012 at 12:44 pm
I don’t want to live on this planet any more. I don’t want to live in a place where there are people who will kill children and hide their bodies. I don’t want to live in a place where greedy and/or stupid people make money from other people’s sorrow.
Can I volunteer to be abducted by aliens?
June 30, 2012 at 1:38 pm
How do you know that aliens don’t suck too?
June 30, 2012 at 2:31 pm
I don’t but considering the alternative, I’m willing to take my chances.
June 30, 2012 at 2:31 pm
Everybody knows aliens don’t suck – they probe.
June 30, 2012 at 10:18 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKTDRqQtPO8
That basically sums up my feelings on Casey Anthony.
July 1, 2012 at 1:27 am
On a positive note, thanks to this post, I am now up-to-date with current events! I no longer have to waste my time watching the news. Thanks, HK, for keeping me hip!
July 1, 2012 at 8:58 am
thank you, Androgynous. I no longer feel guilty and alone because I get my news updates from Regretsy instead of Fox News.