Maxed Out
This post first appeared on Regretsy in July of 2011
I think by now we all know that real feminism is not about equal rights and opportunities for women. It’s about smearing your Kotex on a piece of paper and selling it on Etsy.
So come on! Turn up the Ani Di Franco and let’s get those pads out! The world isn’t going to change itself, sisters. It’s going to take a village of idiots, rubbing their waste around like a bunch of monkeys on an Animal Planet blooper reel.
GOD MADE TAMPAX FLUSHABLE FOR A REASON
June 28, 2012 at 5:33 pm
painting with your vagina blood made you feel feminine? really? it just made me feel nauseated.
June 28, 2012 at 5:37 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 28, 2012 at 5:39 pm
aaaaaand with that I have to put down my subway and call it a night.
June 28, 2012 at 5:50 pm
Menstruation art is never good. PERIOD. I cunt see why anyone would buy this. Twat is she thinking?
June 28, 2012 at 5:52 pm
No clue, but she seems to be expecting some sort of standing ovulation for it.
June 28, 2012 at 6:41 pm
I don’t know if we are staying on ectopic.
June 28, 2012 at 8:46 pm
I’d hate to pad this thread with puns but I’d be red-faced if I didn’t try.
June 28, 2012 at 10:37 pm
I’ll go with the flow on this one.
June 29, 2012 at 7:11 am
Put a plug in it already!
June 29, 2012 at 3:27 pm
Stop trying to cramp their style
September 23, 2012 at 4:12 pm
but it has wings, so it’s okay.
June 28, 2012 at 8:25 pm
When is someone going to shop it into a “View it in a womb?”
June 28, 2012 at 6:10 pm
Now I need a fucking midol.
June 28, 2012 at 5:33 pm
What is next people eating their placenta? Ha!
June 28, 2012 at 5:44 pm
June 28, 2012 at 8:31 pm
I hope not. Otherwise they couldn’t create art like this http://www.dse.nl/~jipje/drawing/placenta_art/
June 29, 2012 at 10:13 am
That isn’t nearly as cuddly as…
Placenta Bear!
June 29, 2012 at 9:14 pm
Dude! Takin’ on the jellies… gross.
June 28, 2012 at 10:29 pm
Go here and wait. Another placenta smoothie entry will be along shortly.
Or read through the archives, if you’re okay with the sudden urge to choke complete strangers.
June 29, 2012 at 12:44 am
Here ya go!
YUMMY PLACENTA RECIPES
June 28, 2012 at 5:33 pm
Nothing makes me feel more feminine than selling my dead uterine wall art.
June 28, 2012 at 5:42 pm
i’m currently in those 5-7 days and i can tell ya, as i sit here wearing stretchy tracksuit bottoms with a hot water bottle on my back and a stomach full of codeine and paracetamol and what i *think* is yesterday’s dinner down the front of my size xxxxxxl sweatshirt, i couldn’t feel more feminine….
June 28, 2012 at 8:49 pm
I hear ya! I feel like riding a horse along the beach in white linen shorts don’t you?
June 28, 2012 at 9:47 pm
Riding the White Surfboard, in the ocean in a white one piece!
June 29, 2012 at 11:04 am
Dancing all night at the club in a mini skirt with my girls. it’s super fun because our periods are all synced!
June 28, 2012 at 5:34 pm
Oh. My. God. Just when I think it can’t get any worse, HK surprises me with more scrappings from the bottom of the humanoid barrel. So sad…
June 28, 2012 at 5:34 pm
I’m someone who generally doesn’t feel like a normal girl… and this made her feel normal? I shudder to think of the other ‘art’ she creates.
June 28, 2012 at 5:49 pm
In her defense, I suppose if you are not normal, then you would probably only know of not normal tactics to solve any problem – including the problem of feeling not normal.
June 28, 2012 at 6:21 pm
I consider myself fairly out of the fray–I’ve always been awkward, loud and generally silly. I’ve also met many a person I’d consider ‘not’ normal and I still gotta say, this is pretty odd. Then again, it seems to be some trend so perhaps something is going on in the collect conscience of certain women that is telling them to reveal thy inner self, literally. I never got past the bad poetry stage, myself. It was safer there lol
June 28, 2012 at 5:34 pm
Well I’m glad that when she was done she properly disposed of the pad and washed up. Now I’d feel a lot more confident buying her smeared period slime!
June 28, 2012 at 9:24 pm
She tells us that she knew how to properly dispose of the pad afterwards, but that just makes me ask why didn’t she just do that in the first place? If she had said “And when I was done, I wore it like a hat like I usually do”, I would have just assumed that she doesn’t know what a garbage can is or something.
June 28, 2012 at 5:35 pm
Well thank god she washed and threw the pad away. Otherwise, this would have been gross.
June 28, 2012 at 8:15 pm
Yes, but what did she do with the BRIGHT RED WATER COLOUR CRAYON?!?!
June 29, 2012 at 6:32 am
Yeah, I don’t know about any of you, but THAT is not the color I see coming out….
June 28, 2012 at 5:35 pm
Jesus Tapdancing Christ. I’d have to save up pads for two years to get enough blood for that (yaaaay IUDs!).
June 28, 2012 at 5:38 pm
depo! -high five-
June 28, 2012 at 5:50 pm
I just endured the whole IUD installation process. Still having periods, but I no longer need to wear adult diapers lined with three pads (in a T-shape) so I can sleep in two to three hour increments without constantly worrying my mattress will be eligible for Craigslisting as an oversized Rorschach test.
Had I been in touch with my mystical femininity and as heavy as my periods were, I could have painted an entire house, inside and out, as the ultimate permanent Red Tent venue. (Or possibly the ultimate CDC nightmare: tomayto, tomahto.) But I’m not and to that I say YOU’RE WELCOME.
June 28, 2012 at 8:33 pm
Lybral!! There is a female God.
June 28, 2012 at 5:37 pm
I used a pad (that was ready to be discarded mind you)
Oh, good. I’m glad she clarified that she didn’t use a *fresh* menstrual pad, because that would be gross.
June 28, 2012 at 8:51 pm
Isn’t this considered “upcycling”? How very kind to Gaia
June 28, 2012 at 5:42 pm
And another inspiration for the “Vomit” floor covering, available from Billy’s Artisanal & Recycled Floorings, otherwise known as BARF. Yes, BARF’s “Vomit” floor treatment is durable and all-natural, and will delight your pets for many years to come.
June 28, 2012 at 5:46 pm
The last time I had a flow like that, my TSH levels were at 9.
This is obviously a likeless of a woman suffering from severe Hashimoto’s disease.
June 28, 2012 at 5:46 pm
Oh don’t worry, I put a sealant on the piece. Oh also don’t worry, I’m STD-free. Because I put a sealant on the piece.
June 28, 2012 at 9:41 pm
Please, will someone inform Bonfils that they need to include the following on their donor questionnaire: “Have you ever created art with another person’s blood and/or menstrual fluids?” and “Have you ever purchased or handled art that used bodily fluids as a medium?”
June 28, 2012 at 5:50 pm
If I weren’t already gay, I’m pretty sure this would do it. I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure your period isn’t supposed to look like somebody knocked open a fire hydrant full of Fruit Punch Kool-Aid.
June 28, 2012 at 5:51 pm
I can’t even look at it – just KNOWING what it’s made of makes me want to clean everything in my apartment like an OCD on meth.
June 28, 2012 at 5:55 pm
NO. NO. NO. This *THIS* isn’t in violation of Etsy’s policies? Really, Etsy? REALLY?
This is the WTFiest of all the WTFs…
June 28, 2012 at 5:56 pm
I paint with my blood, including my menstrual blood. I can’t imagine trying to sell something like that, though. Even if they aren’t like me and don’t view their blood as a deeply personal medium, it seems like they should at least realize that it’s not something they should be trying to sell to random people online.
June 28, 2012 at 6:45 pm
I never in a million years thought I’d say the following phrase, but…
I investigated your deviant art and think your menstrual blood art is totally cool and eerily pretty.
June 28, 2012 at 7:02 pm
Damn it… you’re post made me look.. and … damn it, you’re right. It *is* totally cool.
June 28, 2012 at 7:02 pm
Your. Not you’re. AUGH.
June 29, 2012 at 8:52 pm
Wow..you are quite talented!
June 28, 2012 at 7:35 pm
Dude. I looked too. And yeah. Your stuff is actually kind of kickass. Can’t believe I’m applauding period art, but fa realz.
June 29, 2012 at 5:35 am
I looked at your art, and
1. It’s a lot prettier than this shitty thing.
2. You display it on DeviantArt instead of trying to sell it on Etsy. Huge, HUGE difference.
Keep doing what you do
June 29, 2012 at 10:20 am
The term “art” can be used with your work, though because you obviously put effort into it. The picture above is just a disgrace to humanity.
June 28, 2012 at 5:56 pm
Ummm…K….If you’re bleeding so heavily that it serves as a rocket to lift you off of the ground, you may need to seek medical help. That is my interpretation. TY Helen, I can hardly stomach my evening coffee now!
June 28, 2012 at 7:25 pm
It isn’t HK’s fault when you eat or drink before coming to regretsy. What were you thinking? Isn’t that like feeding your dog before you take him on a car ride?
June 29, 2012 at 12:26 pm
June 28, 2012 at 8:35 pm
It does explain the expression on her face.
June 28, 2012 at 5:59 pm
I’m worried about you HK
with the lack of new posts you must be in a lot of pain with your knee, I’m guessing. Or maybe it’s something else? Maybe it’s already been said what is wrong and I missed it. I just wanted to let you know I’m sending healing thoughts your way and I hope you feel better soon. I also hope you don’t feel rushed to get back into the swing of things, the repeat posts are great as well. Much love.
June 28, 2012 at 6:10 pm
Why do I feel like there is a fetish related to this…
June 28, 2012 at 6:18 pm
And I thought the hair doily was bad?! Actually, I bet I could find a great “spot” for this piece…inside the biohazard bin at my doctor’s office.
June 28, 2012 at 6:22 pm
I have to say that this woman is a disgusting idiot, but at least she didn’t feel the need to bake any GD period cookies like this daffy bitch did:
http://cuntbarf.tumblr.com/post/14483892353/i-made-menstrual-blood-cookies-i-am-not-entirely
I swear to god, these retards are starting to multiply.
June 28, 2012 at 7:36 pm
And here comes the vomit…
June 28, 2012 at 11:05 pm
I’m waiting for some half-wit to make vomit cookies.
June 28, 2012 at 8:38 pm
“I made menstrual blood cookies! I am not entirely happy with how they turned out…” ENTIRELY?? What’s the problem? They don’t drip??!!
June 28, 2012 at 9:13 pm
The sentence; “I made menstrual blood cookies!” made me almost regret learning how to read.
June 28, 2012 at 9:46 pm
ALMOST???
June 29, 2012 at 8:11 am
Women take note: “I made menstrual blood cookies” will ALWAYS work in an insanity defense in court.
June 29, 2012 at 5:38 am
The recipe was too floury! (she said, like *that’s* what’s wrong with it)
June 29, 2012 at 10:20 pm
“So I started using Summer’s Eve, but the trouble is, now my menstrual blood cookies all come out too flowery. Flowery! Get it?” *rimshot*
June 28, 2012 at 9:49 pm
I am clinging to the last straw of hope that these cookies were dyed red by food coloring, not blood, because hemoglobins in red blood cells would oxidize and turn brownish if you ever leave blood out of your body for some time.
Still, I trepidate with the notion that these cookies might have been kept in an oxygen-free airtight heat-tolerant container to preserve the color of blood.
June 29, 2012 at 10:26 am
I was thinking the same thing about food coloring. Why do I click on these things?!
June 28, 2012 at 10:55 pm
In ye olden tymes, it was believed that if a maiden mixed a bit of her menstrual blood into her crush’s food and he ate it (I can only hope obliviously,) that he was sure to fall in love with her.
There is no data on whether or not this ever actually worked, so please: some “traditions” deserve to die. Let’s keep this one of them, yes? For the sake of my ever being able to look at Valentine’s cookies again, yes.
July 2, 2012 at 6:52 am
That’s the most horrifyingly bunny-boilerish thing I have ever read. Can you imagine the type of young woman that would actually latch onto that kind of reasoning?
“Oh, I saw my crush today. I slipped some of my menstrual blood into my sandwich! I hope he will fall in love with me, like the book said!”
June 29, 2012 at 12:04 am
Those cookies make me want to toss my cookies.
June 29, 2012 at 2:07 am
You are hot: Haut
June 29, 2012 at 10:27 am
Red velvet anyone?
June 29, 2012 at 5:07 pm
I can’t look.
Please, please, please… someone confirm that the above photo is just an ordinary chocolate cookie covered with a strawberry buttercream frosting.
I’ve been an EMT, seen lots of blood. Blood on someone’s face, body, clothing, furniture is pretty gross. But blood on FOOD?!? [clutches stomach, runs to bathroom]
If those cookies are “real”, someone needs to update the Wikipedia entry for “bloodborne diseases and their modes of transmission” to include this bat-shit-crazy woman and her hemolytic nightmare biscuits.
June 30, 2012 at 12:16 pm
I never liked red velvet cake, but I could never figure out why. Now I know exactly why. Thanks for solving that mystery!
June 28, 2012 at 6:49 pm
This makes me wish (not for the first time) that actual menstrual blood looked like the innocuous clear blue solution they use on TV in commercials for pads and Tampax. Life would be so much easier!
June 28, 2012 at 7:18 pm
All I can think when I see this sort of stuff is “I have never been more thankful my uterus prolapsed and I had to have a partial hysterectomy after my twins were born than I am now.”
June 29, 2012 at 1:57 am
I’m not sure if even this can make “thankful” and “prolapsed” sound good together in the same sentence.
June 28, 2012 at 7:23 pm
This still squicks me out from the *first* time it was posted. I’ll never know what possessed me to click on it again.
June 28, 2012 at 7:32 pm
Gah dang someone buy that woman a thesaurus. I refuse to count how many times she used the words, “symbol”, “symbolic”, “symbolizes”, and so on. JUST BECAUSE YOU SAY IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN DOESN’T MAKE IT TRUE.
June 28, 2012 at 7:59 pm
Looks like the model, like me, is at that special stage of life right before menopause when the floodgates open.
June 28, 2012 at 9:19 pm
Fun it is not.
And acne! yay.
June 28, 2012 at 10:21 pm
And migraines.
June 28, 2012 at 8:04 pm
but, but, but – and I hate to say it – tampax isn’t flushable
Having said that, I am really tired of all of these period pieces but these people. What is wrong with them?
June 28, 2012 at 8:40 pm
They were all the years I used them.
June 29, 2012 at 9:34 am
I thought they were flushable when I used them too, flushed them for years. Till our drains got blocked, and the plumber told me it was tampons and you shouldn’t flush them. So I thought I’d re-read the disposal instructions I hadn’t read since I’d started using them 6 years before. Sure enough, right there on the box “do not flush”.
June 28, 2012 at 8:13 pm
Why am I not surprised she’s from Florida? barf.
June 29, 2012 at 7:45 am
Yup. “America’s Trailer Park”.
June 29, 2012 at 3:03 pm
Grew up there and I refer to it as the land of surf, sun, seniors, and serial killers.
June 28, 2012 at 8:47 pm
oddly, the part that bothers me the most about this now are those weird-ass knees.
June 28, 2012 at 8:55 pm
I thought she kinda looked like Alex Krycek from the XFiles!
June 28, 2012 at 8:53 pm
I SO hope that the person who bought this also bought the hairball doily; the two belong together.
June 28, 2012 at 9:48 pm
I thought that, too. But then I found myself trying to imagine the rest of the decor…and I scared myself.
June 29, 2012 at 7:47 am
Those two items together have the beginnings of a pretty awesome stalker shrine.
July 2, 2012 at 6:55 am
Probably slipping menstrual blood into each other’s tea, if that medieval love recipe is anything to go by.
I’m sure their house will be tastefully decorated with the skin, hair and organs of any unfortunate backpackers, homeless people and unattended children they happen to find.
June 28, 2012 at 9:01 pm
The thing that bothers me most is that whenever women paint with their menstrual blood, it’s always close-ups of vaginas, or their beautiful goddess womyn spirit guide or whatever. Nobody ever paints a redneck beating the shit out of his wife with a tire iron or anything like that.
June 29, 2012 at 7:49 am
You could call it “She Burned The Pot Roast”. That’d be a pretty epic painting.
June 29, 2012 at 8:43 am
Actually, someone did make a picture of megaman using menstrual blood. I saw it one time.
Maybe I can draw pictures of Pokemon with with mine or something…
June 29, 2012 at 8:58 am
Do it! What’s the worst that could happen? Everyone here verbally shreds the living shit out of you?
June 29, 2012 at 12:33 pm
Yeah, pretty much…
June 28, 2012 at 10:52 pm
I’m pretty sure any of those triple goddesses would be going “. . . Please don’t associate me with this!”
June 28, 2012 at 10:58 pm
Etsy: hey, wanna see a period piece?
Crab: sure, I love historical thi-OH MY GOD THAT’S NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND AT ALL.
June 29, 2012 at 2:13 am
Why are you ragging on about this? – Concerned Menarchologist
June 29, 2012 at 3:25 am
Actually… Why is menstrual blood considered grosser then semen?
June 29, 2012 at 5:41 am
Is it?
June 29, 2012 at 7:09 pm
You know what? Men need to feel all manly and empowered too! Why aren’t there more semen paintings? Sure, it’s usually whitish, but you could always use dark paper or something, I don’t know…
November 14, 2012 at 3:47 am
The simple answer is: VOLUME, VOLUME, VOLUME!!
July 2, 2012 at 6:57 am
Some people never seem to graduate from the age where children smear their own feces on the wall. Or maybe the urge just lies dormant inside them, until the age they realize that they can not only replace the wall with a canvas, but there are more bodily fluids for them to work with…
June 29, 2012 at 7:53 am
When HALF of your manifesto/artist’s statement is an attempt to allay fears about having/holding the gross stuff and stds/hiv, you’re probably on the wrong track, artistically.
June 29, 2012 at 8:34 am
So. Um. This is weird, but the thing that bothers me the most about this is…
How the everloving fuck do TWO crescents represent the TRIPLE goddess?
June 29, 2012 at 8:46 am
Is it somehow tied in with “Regretsy Math”?
June 29, 2012 at 9:12 am
Is she being rocketed off the ground by a blood flume?
June 29, 2012 at 9:29 am
Well, being gay I wouldn’t know, but is it common for women to ask their spouses to go down on them while they are on their period and then swallow the stuff?
June 29, 2012 at 9:29 am
That was supposed to be reply to MissNorris90 above.
June 29, 2012 at 10:32 am
Ugh, I tell them to keep their mouths away from there and just stick it in!
June 29, 2012 at 9:11 pm
I should just start sending these people who post menstrual art my period horror stories with graphic detail spelled out.
Nawww, that would only make them think I want to hear their red tent nattering and that I like their awful artwork.
June 30, 2012 at 6:46 pm
Free of any diseases… THAT YOU KNOW OF. (.__.)
July 1, 2012 at 8:38 pm
Oh, come on. You missed that one special magic ingredient… the bible page! Nothing speaks louder to the goddess in me in my little mud hut, than yellowed bible pages talking about the conception of Moab. Oh, and you almost had me too.
July 2, 2012 at 6:47 am
Why does she appear to have a deformed scrotum?