STOP IT
This post first appeared on Regretsy in July of 2011
STOP MAKING CRAFTS WITH YOUR BODY PARTS
Stop knitting with your pubic hair and sculpting your ear wax and saving your cuticles to throw at weddings. Just stop it right now.
Jesus would you look at that? That is enough to put me off my feed. I swear to God I saw something moving in there.
Oh, I know what you’re going to say. “People often made crafts with their hair in Victorian times!”
Wow, that’s really interesting. Oh look at the time! It’s 2011. We don’t die of black lung, we don’t get run over by horse drawn carts and we don’t have to sit around making shit with our dandruff.
WE HAVE YARN NOW
June 27, 2012 at 9:33 am
Well if THAT’s the way you feel about it, I guess I’ll just throw out my scab collection and find something else to do.
Dream-raper.
June 27, 2012 at 10:00 am
I’m now imagining a dream catcher with either a dildo attached to it or at least a pair of “truck nuts” hanging off it somewhere. >_<
I just know that somewhere, somehow "Dream-Raper" is a thing.
June 27, 2012 at 10:53 am
Even a year later, this whole idea crafts from dander, shed hair and, um, other biological items, is still exquisitely disgusting. Exquisitely.
June 27, 2012 at 5:52 pm
God, I’d forgotten how repulsive this thing is.
June 27, 2012 at 5:58 pm
You know what, I don’t even have a problem with yarn spun from human hair. It’s not that different from using wool.
But for fuck’s sake, you wash that shit prior to spinning, and don’t leave disgusting skin flakes all in it! Or fingernail clippings. Just no.
June 27, 2012 at 6:16 pm
Oh, I *beg* to differ. I spin all kinds of wool for yarn–sheep, alpaca, angora, mohair. I have also *shudder* spun human hair, as a special order for someone who wanted a scarf. Human hair is generally slick stuff, so I had to mix it with wool to get it to behave. Sorta. It haloed out like mohair–kind of scratchy, blondish mohair. The scarf wasn’t bad, as human-hair scarves go, and I’m glad I did it for my friend, but I will *not* spin human hair again…
June 27, 2012 at 8:09 pm
Sorry, of course it’s different to spin. That was a poor choice of words on my part. I meant it’s not that different in the sense that both human hair and wool are, well, hair. Neither fiber should be gross if handled and prepared properly.
I’m guessing human hair is, in addition to being slippery, too coarse to spin well? Seems like it’d make great component for rope or twine, though.
June 28, 2012 at 5:43 am
I think it depends on whose hair you’ve got. The hair I worked with was from my friend’s boyfriend, who had just cut off a lot of long hair. (It was clean, of course.) It wasn’t coarse particularly, but human hair for the most part just doesn’t have the right structure to spin well. And the slippery texture was pretty off-putting too:)
June 27, 2012 at 12:03 pm
Best band name.
Ever.
June 27, 2012 at 12:40 pm
I’ve just closed my eyes again
Climbed aboard the dream raper train
Driver ruin all the plans I made today
And leave my hopes behind
Ooooh dream raper
I believe you’ll fuck me over tonight
Ooooh dream raper
I despair of seeing the morning light
Drag me down to the bowels of hell
Maybe to Satan’s sink drain
Cross the highways of agony and despair
Till I slash my wrists from the pain.
November 16, 2012 at 12:25 pm
Catchy. Now I’ll be humming this all day.
June 27, 2012 at 5:55 pm
“Dream Raper” or “Human Hair Doily?”
July 14, 2012 at 11:38 pm
“Dream-raper” Wow, that was nice…
June 27, 2012 at 9:33 am
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen folks clipping their nails (fingers and toes) on the subway and wished I could collect their leavings to create original art work.
June 27, 2012 at 9:37 am
If it happens that often, you should carry a little specimen jar and tweezers. When you see it, jump up and get a “sample” from the floor, put it in the jar and run away screaming “I got it!”.
June 27, 2012 at 9:41 am
Also a great way to guarantee that no one will want to sit next to me! Thanks, krazykrakhed!
June 28, 2012 at 12:33 am
Bonus points if you’re wearing a lab coat with “cloning” mentioned anywhere on it.
June 27, 2012 at 9:47 am
I’ve watched people piss on a train, sat next to people who obviously shit themselves–all with the outwardly blase attitude of a New Yorker. However, I begin to LOSE it when people clip their nails (especially their toenails) on the train. Whoever invented keychain nail clippers should receive a stern talking to.
June 27, 2012 at 10:11 am
You can always tell the subway car with the shit-stinking bum on it. It’s the empty one!
June 27, 2012 at 11:44 am
Either that, or the air conditioning isn’t working!
June 27, 2012 at 12:43 pm
how can it be empty if the homeless person is in it?
June 27, 2012 at 12:41 pm
Um, people would beat their fellow passengers to death with their kindles if they tried something so revolting on the tube in the UK. And this is English people.
June 27, 2012 at 10:06 am
Was it more than one time? Because if it was more than one time, you’re a psychopath.
June 27, 2012 at 9:35 am
I WANT that! All the fun I could have:
1. Leaving it in the bottom of my shower before guests come.
2. Placing it over the soap when guests come.
3. Taking it out in my purse to Spago, slipping it over my smoked salmon pizza and hollering “Waiter, there’s HAIR in my food!”
4. Throwing it at hipsters.
5. Using it as a funny face mask, going to Whole Foods market to shop. If anyone notices and stares, I’ll blame it on the chia seeds.
June 27, 2012 at 9:44 am
Hoo-boy – somebody has way too much free daydreaming time on their hands…and I’m damn grateful!
June 28, 2012 at 6:21 pm
Oh muh gah, you just helped find new life for this mess as something every hipster chick would want: the “up-cycled” human hair “dri-weave” with wings (thanks to the embedded insects) Maxi-rag! Soon to be carried at all of the “ironic” & “vintage” hell hole thrift shops in Brooklyn.
June 27, 2012 at 9:35 am
Another fine meal ruined by Etsy. The dog can eat my sandwich. He didn’t see the doily.
June 27, 2012 at 10:45 am
The dog can eat my lunch too and while we are at it.. the dog eats spiders… it might not mind gnawing this abomination of crafting to pieces
June 27, 2012 at 10:51 am
Put some Beatles on and have a warm blanket and a cold beer ready in case starts to have a bad trip.
June 27, 2012 at 4:13 pm
It’s a nightmare catcher. I’m convinced of it. This thing will keep all the good dreams out of my head for the rest of my life, letting the nightmares sift right through.
June 27, 2012 at 9:35 am
Well at least she’s used her fingernails. If she’d used her toenails that would be horrible.
June 27, 2012 at 9:36 am
My booger collection is sacred, no way I’m giving that up. Almost got the entire underside of the desk covered in a mosaic tribute to Steve Jobs and Amy Winehouse.
June 27, 2012 at 9:51 am
Booger mosaics are an underrated art form, for sure.
June 27, 2012 at 10:47 am
Nose goblins?
June 27, 2012 at 1:50 pm
June 27, 2012 at 3:13 pm
http://www.popthatzit.com/2011/09/found-the-biggest-and-grossest-booger/
June 28, 2012 at 12:37 am
Morbid curiosity made me click the link. Thank goodness NoScript is smarter than me, didn’t show the video at all, and gave me an out. “Whoops, looks like site troubles! I’ll just be leaving now!”
June 28, 2012 at 3:58 pm
*** GIGGLE ***
June 27, 2012 at 12:38 pm
You sure can pick ‘em!
June 27, 2012 at 2:24 pm
you can pick your friends
you can pick you nose
but you can’t pick your friend’s nose
June 27, 2012 at 9:37 am
Horrible idea to view this during my lunch hour.
June 27, 2012 at 9:39 am
By coincidence $200 is exactly how much I’d charge to take this to a place away from civilised FLJ’s and kill it with fire. Hair is bad but fingernails? Fingernails she has scratched her arse with,picked her nose with and god alone knows what else.
Way to keep me on the diet HK.
June 27, 2012 at 9:39 am
FJL’s – I was so disgusted my fingers tripped.
June 27, 2012 at 9:40 am
Hey, I have a new floor covering inspired by this doily! It’s called “Vomit”!
June 27, 2012 at 9:47 am
The great thing about “Vomit” is that it’s 100% natural and biodegradable!
June 27, 2012 at 9:56 am
Good to know you’re eating right!
June 27, 2012 at 10:02 am
She Up-Chuck-Cycled her lunch!
June 27, 2012 at 11:44 am
I hope you saved it! I have some translucent silk, a springform pan,a piece of dog poop, a booger and a great idea!
June 27, 2012 at 2:03 pm
I would like to donate to this project. Specifically, I offer the bitten nails my co-worker leaves in my keyboard when he comes into my office and uses my computer while I am at lunch.
Well, I say co-worker. “Our little adventure with nepotism” is what I mean.
June 27, 2012 at 9:40 am
Is it the weekend already?!
June 27, 2012 at 9:40 am
Praise baby Jesus for yarn.
June 27, 2012 at 9:41 am
Well thanks for proving this is still nauseating one full year later, and during the lunch hour no less.
Why don’t we have a Regretsy Olympics? Every year round up the most horrible submissions of Etsy “craft” and do a championship of badness, Sweet 16 style. I nominate this $200 drain clog to get us rolling on a high note.
June 27, 2012 at 9:45 am
then have the US Olympic committee come down on us, like they came down on the knitters? I’m not sure HK wants that kind of publicity. We’d come off as worse than the rabid knitters who apparently have multiple bunches of panties.
June 27, 2012 at 10:11 am
Hello from a rabid knitter. I have cleaned the foam off my face long enough to type coherently. We were mad, not because of being forced to change the name, but because they insulted our favorite pastime and then asked for free gifts in their apology. Besides, we make our own anti-bunching thongs! I would, however, like to contribute a more appropriate name for this event- the RegretsyLimpDix.
June 27, 2012 at 12:00 pm
Fuck the USOC, we’ll think of a much better name than “Regretylimpics” or whatever stupid “-lympics” the knitters threw together.
How about “The Crying Eagle Glitter Games” or “The Badly Drawn Bowl?”
June 27, 2012 at 5:59 pm
The E-Lympics?
June 27, 2012 at 9:45 am
I think that’s a wonderful idea.
June 27, 2012 at 1:08 pm
The Derpy Derby
The Tournament of Posers
Blunder Dome
Craftageddon
June 27, 2012 at 1:13 pm
The Fail-O-Lympics
The Disturbathon
Smelling Bee
The Stupid Bowl
June 27, 2012 at 1:42 pm
Who needs Craft Wars when you can have Crap Wars.
June 28, 2012 at 12:44 am
I’m quite fond of Blunderdome. It would accommodate mistakes of all kinds, from lapses in judgement and good taste, to shitty execution. Plus Hellephant would be a natural mascot.
TWO EARS ENTER! ONE EAR LEAVES!
June 27, 2012 at 9:43 am
Last night my dog threw up all over my floor, which I had to clean before breakfast. No problem. But this? Now I’m retching.
June 27, 2012 at 9:43 am
This sort of goes with all those other awesome Victorian things, like men not knowing what a vaj looks like or what to do with it. At least these days they all know what it looks like.
June 27, 2012 at 10:58 am
In theory…
Considering some of the vulvacrafts we’ve seen on Etsy, I’m not convinced that knowledge of women’s initimate anatomy is all that well spread.
June 27, 2012 at 11:20 am
I see what you did there.
June 28, 2012 at 12:50 am
From what I’ve seen on Regretsy, I’m not so sure that even some women know what their own bajingos look like.
June 27, 2012 at 3:54 pm
Must respectfully disagree that this is a “Victorian thing”: I’ve seen real Victorian hairwork, and that up there doesn’t even come close. In fact, one of my cats makes something like the above on a regular basis, and she calls it “This is me not liking my new food, bitch.”
June 27, 2012 at 6:37 pm
Precisely. My oldest sister has a locket with a very intricately woven piece of hair work that belonged to my great-grandmother. Her oldest daughter crafted one for each of the children after their mother died of childbed fever. The kids were later all adopted out; the locket was the only remembrance the younger ones had of their mother. My grandmother, who was three at the time, wore it her entire life, then passed it on to my mother, who in turn passed it on to her oldest daughter.
It’s a beautiful piece of work, and has held up remarkably well, considering its age. Even allowing for its age, it looks a whole helluva lot better than this piece of crap.
June 27, 2012 at 9:43 am
this is what cobwebs look like at dog the bounty hunters house
June 27, 2012 at 9:44 am
My neighbors must have been alarmed by my repeated shouts of shock and “EWWW! NO! MY GOD! EWWWWWWW!”… Sorry neighbors. Please blame HK.
June 27, 2012 at 3:15 pm
blame Hong Kong … allways the poor Hong Kong
June 27, 2012 at 9:44 am
That is hands-down the grossest thing I’ve seen here so far. I’m new here, so I realize there may be worse- I just haven’t seen it yet.
That’s like a serial killer’s dreamcatcher. All it needs are the words “I’ll kill you in your sleep” stitched into it with intestines or veins.
June 27, 2012 at 9:44 am
I’m pretty sure you got it, Matt. Um…good week to join?
June 27, 2012 at 9:47 am
Looks like that diet’s starting earlier than anticipated.
June 27, 2012 at 9:46 am
you will fit in nicely lol
June 27, 2012 at 10:35 am
Seeing this a second time does nothing to alleviate the nausea either…
June 27, 2012 at 11:46 am
Oh there’s worse, Matt. Not *much* worse, mind you; it all depends on what kinds of things gross you out. Don’t worry, they’re all represented on Regretsy!
June 27, 2012 at 11:56 am
Until today, I would’ve said, “there’s not much that grosses me out”, but today and in the future I’ll say, “that hair doily grosses me out big-fucking-time”.
June 27, 2012 at 12:20 pm
You are all missing a great opportunity here!
$200 for DNA you can plant at your favorite crime scene!
Though having a favorite crime scene might mean you are busy doing other things with your time other than checking out Regretsy which is clearly what I am doing with my time as you are all my witnesses or something.
June 27, 2012 at 2:07 pm
Matt, have you seen the chicken skin mask?
I think that one is the worst. That and “Running is Sexy.”
June 27, 2012 at 3:58 pm
Just be sure you click on every link we post in the comments, Matt, and you’ll catch up really quick.
June 27, 2012 at 7:58 pm
There’s some pretty bad stuff out there, to be sure. I’m always amazed at the kind of things people will think up, actually make, and then actually try to sell.
If you want a permanent innoculation against disgust and horror, this page (NSFW/NWS/NSFL/not safe for anything) can help with that. It’s not recommended, but it’s there.
June 27, 2012 at 9:35 pm
Why, dear gods why, would you share that? Worse, why would I actually scroll all the way to the bottom???
June 28, 2012 at 10:49 pm
Because misery loves company?
June 29, 2012 at 6:16 am
I scrolled too… WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
June 27, 2012 at 8:35 pm
This is what happens when Charlotte’s evil twin infiltrates the barn. Sorry, Wilbur – hopefully you’re going to a better place!
June 27, 2012 at 9:45 am
I try to stay open minded. Making crafts out of your pet’s fur? ehhh okay maybe. It’s not the coolest thing in the world but there’s worse things to do with your pets…
But this is disgusting. Flat out disgusting. It’s like what happens when your dream catcher catches Schizophrenia.
June 27, 2012 at 9:48 am
I was expecting a crepe or funnel cake from the looks of the thumbnail.
I was horribly wrong. And so was the creator.
And by creator, I mean whatever perverse kind of God that created the person that created this thing.
June 27, 2012 at 9:50 am
Jesus, Mary and Joseph. The hair is bad. The nails increase the vomit factor. But the dandruff? You can’t even be assed to use clean hair. That is just fucking gross. The only thing that would be worse is if it was crocheted with the hair pulled out of the plug hole.
June 27, 2012 at 12:17 pm
Well, the hair is described as “salt-sprayed”, which approaches a cleaner explanation for the white flecks.
June 27, 2012 at 1:15 pm
Is that to “cure” it, like meat? Do you need to “cure” hair? Does salt kill scabies and/or lice?
June 27, 2012 at 4:07 pm
My guess would be she sprayed it with salt to make it look ‘beachy’ and ‘natural’
June 27, 2012 at 6:03 pm
I’d suggest spraying it with Raid myself, but then I just never have learned to appreciate bodily waste art. I expect that this will be seen in the installation as placenta art?
June 27, 2012 at 9:50 am
This is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen.
I have 3 cats, so I clean up more than my share of barf and poop. I used to work at a veterinarian’s and I had to clean out the dead-animal freezer when the power to it failed. I am intrigued about owning my own crime-scene-cleaning business.
BUT THIS HORRIBLE THING MADE MY BREAKFAST BAGEL COME MOST OF THE WAY UP.
June 27, 2012 at 9:54 am
If you puked in your mouth, DON’T swallow it back down. Spit it in a cup, and fingerpaint a tribute to Michael Jackson immediately.
June 27, 2012 at 9:52 am
Note that the seller was careful to point out that the hair had fallen from her head. ‘Cuz if this had been made of hair from any other bodily area, it would’ve been really gross. Oh wait…
June 28, 2012 at 12:57 am
I honestly think she meant it in a “no hair was harmed in the making of this doily” kind of way. ‘Cause the only thing worse than a human hair doily is an inhumane hair doily.
June 27, 2012 at 9:52 am
aaaaaackkkkkkk!! I just ate lunch and now I want to get sick! Still my morbid curiosity lead me here http://www.etsy.com/listing/59376725/reserved-for-ericdutcher-human-ivory?ref=sr_gallery_10&ga_search_query=hair+nail&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_min=0&ga_max=0&ga_search_type=handmade
June 27, 2012 at 10:56 am
Bastard.
Why did I click?
Why does “human ivory” sound grosser than ‘toenails and fingernails’?
June 27, 2012 at 1:03 pm
More importantly who is the sick fucker “ericdutcher” for whom this listing is reserved
June 27, 2012 at 1:17 pm
I would have reservations about this thing, too.
June 27, 2012 at 2:07 pm
My pleasure dearie!
Not bad for a first comment on here I’d say I had to sign up just to comment on this one. Its horrifying really that they probably think its clever and by calling their nasty toe and finger nail clippings human ivory it will seem like sophisticated art. I mean I can clean out my hair brush and could very easily make a nest but I usually jut pitch that stuff in the garbage (where it belongs) but sticking your funky nail clippings in the mix doesn’t make it art and certainly not $325 worth just because you put it under a glass dome you got at hobby lobby.
June 28, 2012 at 1:09 am
I’m sure the craftards think “human ivory” imparts a luxurious sounding material while reassuring that animals weren’t slaughtered for it, but it just doesn’t work. The world at large decided some time ago that ivory objects are a sure sign of incurable assholery. No amount of vegan philosophy is going to change that association.
Personally, when I first heard the term, I thought it meant stuff carved from human bones. Finding out it means toenails was both disappointing and gross.
June 28, 2012 at 9:07 am
Huh, I thought human ivory was tooth-based.
As for actual ivory, I don’t think owning ivory is necessarily an asshole earmark, given that the ivory isn’t recently harvested. My dad inherited a Steinway piano from 1876 that has ivory keys, and I never thought it made us particularly assholish.
June 27, 2012 at 3:51 pm
To the seller of this stupidity: Ivory is from teeth. Unless you are pulling out your teeth and carving them, you can’t call it ‘human ivory.’ Well, you can call it anything you like, but you would be a total craftard. Which, of course, you are.
June 27, 2012 at 9:40 pm
That entire shop belongs on Regretsy! I especially like the ‘buy 9 get 1 free’ deal on her belly-button-lint teddy bears. I think, after the original post and clicking links, I may never eat again! Thanks, Regretsy!
June 28, 2012 at 6:12 am
Oh my god…a whole new horror!
June 27, 2012 at 9:54 am
You know, people who compare THAT to Victorian hair wreaths lose sight of the fact that Victorian hair wreaths looked nothing like something pulled from the shower drain complete with soap scum and fecal matter.
June 27, 2012 at 10:34 am
I couldn’t agree more. I just googled images of Victorian mourning hair brooches and they are quiet lovely!
June 27, 2012 at 10:36 am
*quite
June 27, 2012 at 12:33 pm
I once saw a museum exhibit of Victorian hair art. You had to be told it was hair, it was that exquisite. The hair was generally treated with some stuff to make it hold its shape and not frizz out like that, and I’ve seen that some people are still producing it today.
June 27, 2012 at 2:46 pm
I’ve seen a wreath made from several generations of one family’s hair at the Honolulu House in Marshall, Michigan last year. It was quite gorgeous, even if it was made from hair.
(Unfortunately, photography is not allowed inside due to the fragile nature of the original damask wallcoverings, the gold leaf on the carvings, etc.)
June 27, 2012 at 9:56 am
I’m offering a free thumbs-up to anyone who’s not feeling itchy now…
June 27, 2012 at 12:50 pm
Itchy enough that I need a shower. Thanks HK!
June 27, 2012 at 10:01 am
Looking at Regretsy whenever you feel even slightly hungry is the best diet form EVER! Ewww…
June 27, 2012 at 10:04 am
This is the stuff of nightmares. Loose hair is gross, and fingernail clippings are one of my milder vomit-inducers (yes, there’s a weird childhood/psychological reason for this). All she needs to add is boogers, and I’ll go from a fat, jealous loser to a involuntarily bulimic jealous loser.
June 27, 2012 at 10:05 am
That is horrifying. Why? FOR GOD’S SAKE, WHY!?
June 27, 2012 at 10:11 am
What fun.
June 27, 2012 at 10:20 am
The hair is just a bit creepy. The nails crossed the line. Like, 6 miles ago.
June 27, 2012 at 10:27 am
I’m looking at this on my iPad, and accidentally touching the PHOTO of this induced my gag reflex…or maybe it’s that stomach bug I caught.
June 27, 2012 at 10:37 am
I hollered “PROOF!” like the Franklin & Bash episode.
June 27, 2012 at 10:42 am
I’ve spun and knitted my own hair. But I washed it thoroughly first unlike this person… My excuse – I was curious and bored. It was a bit like mohair to work with, and I was never tempted to make anything bigger than a sample piece of knitting with it. It was too fiddly and icky. And I’d never try and sell it! This is just digusting. Fingernails? Why?
June 27, 2012 at 10:45 am
When it comes to being flat out gross, she nailed it!
June 27, 2012 at 1:40 pm
I see what you did there.
June 27, 2012 at 10:46 am
Les Moonvest would want it.
June 27, 2012 at 10:52 am
This is the kind of thing you mail to somebody to let them know they need to pay up soon.
June 28, 2012 at 10:40 am
Or to let them know you’ve been living in their walls and raiding their hair brush and bin as soon as they leave for work. And will love them forever.
If anyone remembers Hey Arnold, this is the kind of thing Helga would have made for her shrine of secret Arnold love.
June 27, 2012 at 11:00 am
Burn. This. Now.
June 27, 2012 at 11:06 am
The grease in the hair will ensure a strong, steady burn.
June 27, 2012 at 12:51 pm
It’s the new menorah.
June 27, 2012 at 1:07 pm
“Hair Doily is the new menorah”. Catchy- I could see that in a commercial.
June 27, 2012 at 5:28 pm
I would like to view it in a room, on reclaimed barnwood
June 27, 2012 at 11:03 am
This can really only be interpreted as a plea for help.
June 27, 2012 at 11:05 am
You know how people always say, “I just threw up in my mouth”, and it’s widely accepted that generally, the statement is a hyperbole? Well, I actually just threw up in my mouth. Thanks for that. But as another FJL suggested, I spit it into a cup, and along with some flour, glitter, lipstick, and the vomit, I’m going to paint a piece entitled- Li-Lo, The Disney years…
June 27, 2012 at 4:13 pm
okay, that one got me
June 27, 2012 at 11:09 am
This is gonna sound ridiculous, but a big part of what makes this so bad and totally crazy to me is the fact that it’s not even symmetrical. If you’re gonna make a “doily” out of hair n’ dandruff n’ fingernails n’ shit, you’ve really gotta NAIL IT.
June 27, 2012 at 5:30 pm
OMG, “shit”? PLEASE don’t give her any new ideas!!!
June 28, 2012 at 1:22 am
That’s oddly my thought, too. When I first saw the picture, I thought the clippings had just been thrown or piled on the hair wad. Then I saw that they’d been sewn in place. WHY?! There’s no pattern! No rhyme nor reason! Even the strings of beads go off in all directions like the brain veins of some mutated alien specimen hoping for a quick death!
A well-made hair and fingernail doily would still be gross, but it would at least be interesting!
June 27, 2012 at 11:17 am
This looks very similar to things I’ve found under my couch. If I’d known I could sell them for $200, I would’ve held on to them!
June 27, 2012 at 1:50 pm
Yea exactly and usually in a combo with a petrified pb & j sandwich stashed there by the kid XD
June 27, 2012 at 5:00 pm
Petrified? I think you mean retro.
June 27, 2012 at 11:25 am
My husband completely freaks out if I don’t clip my toenails in the bathroom over the waste basket. Can you imagine if he saw this? He go completely catatonic!
June 28, 2012 at 1:25 am
A high school friend of my mom’s always clipped his nails over the toilet, although granted, it was more out of laziness to sweep than any issues of disgust.
June 27, 2012 at 11:32 am
I used to know a guy who would clip his fingernails at work, and I thought that was disgusting. Who knew it was all a matter of perspective?
June 27, 2012 at 11:39 am
You know it’s a fucked up piece when the BEADS are the odd element.
June 27, 2012 at 11:39 am
“STOP MAKING CRAFTS WITH YOUR BODY PARTS”
What about other people’s body parts?
June 27, 2012 at 6:04 pm
We know that animals parts are fine. Mummified cats, taxidermy rodents, bones on shoes, etc.
June 27, 2012 at 11:46 am
This thing is pretty gross, but saving hair and using it in crafts doesn’t have to be. When I cut more than a few inches off at a time, I save it and use it in craft projects. It can be done tastefully, I assure you!
June 27, 2012 at 11:52 am
Tursiart- you can’t make a statement like that without elaborating… What kind of non-gross craft projects do you make with your hair?
June 27, 2012 at 12:18 pm
Fair enough. The last thing I did with my hair was re-thread the hair in a My Little Pony. I have really super naturally curly hair so it turned out kinda cool looking.
Secondary disclaimer: I’m not one of those freaky MLP people. I haven’t actually ever seen the show. I just happened to have pony and some hair… and … well… why not?
June 28, 2012 at 1:54 am
You re-rooted a pony with your own hair, and this makes you superior to me for watching a cartoon? Wha?
June 28, 2012 at 8:08 am
… huh?
All I’m saying is I haven’t seen the new show. Just the one from the 80s, which I haven’t seen since the 80s.
Also, I am not one of those people that has sex with stuffed ponies, or draws pictures of ponies having sex, or whatever the hell it is those people do.
But yes, I did spend a couple of hours re-rooting the hair of a pony with my own hair. What that makes me, I’ve got no idea.
June 27, 2012 at 11:50 am
Nail and hair clippings from your target are fine voodoo poppet stuffing. WHO WANTS REMOTE STABBINGS
June 27, 2012 at 12:11 pm
ok, I can appreciate the victorian death momento jewelry that often uses hair…of course in those instances the hair, or bone, or other peice of human is encased inside the jewelry usually under glass…safely away from the wearers body! This is just disgusting…and ugly to boot! if you feel the uncontrollable urge to make crap out of your body sheddings, at least make something interesting and attractive where the viewer can’t tell right away that it is made from your body leavings…that way we can at least delay the vomiting until we read the description!
June 27, 2012 at 12:14 pm
Why? Of all the other entries on the site you could have brought back, why this one? If you need me I’ll be in the corner, weeping softly and trying to keep my lunch down.
June 27, 2012 at 12:45 pm
Upcycle your puke into a floor covering!
June 27, 2012 at 12:14 pm
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June 27, 2012 at 12:34 pm
Thereis a lot of that going around.
June 27, 2012 at 12:24 pm
I want to do this, but only with the hair that comes out of my cat’s ass that he eats from my brush.
June 27, 2012 at 12:54 pm
Why not? People are already drinking coffee from beans that passed through a Civet’s ass.
June 27, 2012 at 2:36 pm
oh and you could do it with all kinds of things not just hair think of the possibilities! Bologna string, Easter grass, crinkly seals from the jelly jar! hah I am sure my dog will eat another q-tip let me know if you are in need of an extra bit of pizazz
June 28, 2012 at 6:16 am
Then there were the shiny, pastel-foil poops my dog made when she got into a bag of easter candy!
June 27, 2012 at 2:33 pm
oh yea that would make a good dog toy too XD
June 27, 2012 at 3:11 pm
That’s a MUCH more appropriate medium!
June 27, 2012 at 3:14 pm
As a veterinarian, I’ll often remark about spinning a pet’s fur into yarn to knit when it’s really clean and soft…however, there are simply no words for this.
June 27, 2012 at 3:15 pm
That totally went in the wrong place…Fuck.
June 27, 2012 at 12:52 pm
Even goetse isn’t this nasty and disgusting…
June 27, 2012 at 12:54 pm
The goatse is classy compared to this.
June 27, 2012 at 12:57 pm
In another life long ago, I used to joke that I could crochet a throw rug every morning from the body hair left in the tub by a particularly hirsute live-in. At least, I thought I was joking.
June 27, 2012 at 12:58 pm
For some reason I have this horrible sensation in the back of my throat like I want to cough up a hairball, which is weird, since last time I checked I wasn’t a cat.
June 27, 2012 at 1:52 pm
Besides putting me off my lunch (again), this reminded me of an incident I had been happy to block out for years. There is a large house across from my high school and while I was in school there it was a Buddhist monastery. I sometimes spent time over there after school-the monks were great and the garden amazing. The monks moved out my junior year and some family friends of ours moved in. While walking through the FILTHY, empty house we found a sideboard that had been left behind. In one of the drawers was a plastic baggie FULL of finger and toenail clippings. Full of them. Also an unlabeled photograph of a man. Bizarre and possibly the most disgusting experience of my entire life.
Thanks for the repressed memories Regretsy.
June 27, 2012 at 2:36 pm
Just so you know, there was yarn in Victorian times. There’s been yarn since prehistoric times…
Weaving and braiding locks of hair in Victorian times was to make love tokens or remembrances of dead loved ones.
This piece of craft would have been revolting to the Victorians, also, mainly because of the fingernails and dandruff!
June 27, 2012 at 6:24 pm
I think that piece is revolting in any age…even the goofy little fish-frogs that evolved into us would have thrown up a lot if they had this horrible thing around.
June 27, 2012 at 2:39 pm
Yes, in the Victorian era, people made wreaths and brooches and the like.
But they were for funereal mementos.
This?? Is so obviously not that.
June 27, 2012 at 2:53 pm
no but it needs to be given a funeral. I’d say bury it but that would risk an eventual unearthing. so send it off the face of the planet with fire
June 27, 2012 at 3:06 pm
Oh god, I hate this flashback tag.
Not because I don’t know why we have it and what’s happening to Helen, but because I’m the kind of person who learns something the second time they hear about it. And learns about it forever.
June 27, 2012 at 3:07 pm
(So, what’s the story with the flashback tag? I’m too busy saving humankind to go back and read about it somewhere in the comments, so answers are appreciated. kthxbai)
June 27, 2012 at 3:15 pm
The fingernail clippings are what took this from looking like a poor attempt at macrame to looking like the alternate opening scene of Se7en. Sweet Mother of Fuck, PCP and crafting DO NOT MIX!
June 27, 2012 at 4:15 pm
Not to mention, Victorian hair-crafts usually aren’t this hideously ugly and disgusting. There’s a difference between a small lock of braided hair from your sweetie and a clump of drain-clog full of glitter and fingernails.
June 27, 2012 at 6:41 pm
Stuff made with (clean) hair doesn’t bother me at all. Nail clippings are a little gross, but I could accept them if I was convinced they were also thoroughly cleaned. What really bothers me about this mess is that it looks like a cross between the things I made when I was 7 and the things my cat makes now.
June 27, 2012 at 9:32 pm
Whenever we do these flashback posts, I always tell myself “NO, that made you unable to eat lunch last year” or “NO, there’s a picture of bleeding nipples at the end of this post” but I ALWAYS look anyway. Always.
June 28, 2012 at 4:24 am
Oh, blargh. I was eating a sandwich when this came up. The sandwich is threatening to do the same.
June 28, 2012 at 8:10 am
That’s not dandruff. It’s nature’s glitter.
June 28, 2012 at 8:44 am
If all of us could get past being squeamish and disgusted and repelled and do the same with the contents of the bathroom wastebasket, think how rich we’d be. Or, YOU all think about it. I want to flush the visual and entire concept down the toilet.