The seller should have picked a brown dog, then, you would never have to clean.
I wonder if they hand-paint toilet paper in the same pattern?
Doggone…that’s hideous. When I sit down to take a Shit-zhu I don’t want to feel eyes starring at me.
If I went into a guest bathroom in the middle of the night, this would scare me so bad..I’d make a poodle on the floor.
Ha. The only reason to get this would be to put in the guest bathroom and terrierify my guests. Teach THEM to use my bathroom in the middle of the night.
Then you’ll love my Gary Busey Toilet Set set.
Weird. The image didn’t post.
Fark it. Can’t even link. HTML is screwy today
An idea like that doesn’t really need words.
You should take that as a sign. We don’t need the seventh gate of hell opening up right now, at least wait until the next season of Jersey Shore premiers.
That will be redundant, no?
In southern toilet speak a happy dog tongue is also know as a redneck bidet!!
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
I would say I really need this toilet, but I already have 2 Maltese that eat shit
Our little Daisy doesn’t need any inappropriate reinforcement in that area either.
Maybe that’s the premise for a doggie inspired toilet? “go ahead, shit! And these little doggies will just lap it up!”
I imagine their plunger looks like a lamprey eel?
“lap it up” really took it to a whole new level of gross for me.
They are just living out past lives as dogs in Eskimo Villages in times past…no fabric for diapers, no leaves or bark, what do you think they used to clean all of those little kids’ bottoms? True story! National
Geographic is soooo interesting!
There’s a pedestal sink that goes along with this?
The bidet is painted to look like a dog’s mouth wide open.
I’d hate to see what the shower head looks like.
With a period.
There will be no exclamation point following this somber declaration.
Again, this is one of those things where I want to see a photo montage of the artist creating this. All hunched over/under/inside the toilet, paintbrush in hand, possibly a beret on their head, getting it “just right”.
There is one pic of her lovingly caressing the pedestal sink as she paints it. Not quite as good as if she were bowing to the porcelain dog… but almost.
I want that followed by a good shot of someone bazooka puking after a tequila bender.
If I were the type to be into dead-eyed cowboy dogs, the fact remains that all it would take is one good Tilex scrub and I paid over $1,000 for a regular ol’ toilet.
So…………what’s the shipping on this one gonna cost me?
A metric crapton.
“What’s the shitting onthis gonna cost me?”
$1160.00 plus installation, which may require an additional fee from the only plumber willing to touch it.
Is this offered in Red-Assed Baboon?
Timmy’s wagging tail is seen sticking out of the girls’ tent.
GEORGE (groans): Oh Timmy. You’re so licky!
ANNE: You shouldn’t let him do that George. It’s not hygienic.
GEORGE: We like it, don’t we, Timmy?
I don’t know what this is in reference to, but it makes me feel dirtier than shitting on a cowboy dog themed toilet. And that’s saying something.
I imagine this is a scene from one of Enid Blyton’s “Famous Five” books.
Close enough for gubmint work. It’s a little vignette from the hilarious parody “Five Go Mad in Dorset”, around the 18 minute mark.
I blame our fearless dealer for those two words “Happy Tongues”. If I hadn’t seen those, it might have taken a good hour or two longer for me to feel fat and jealous enough to post it.
I’m glad they clarified that the DOGS IN COWBOY HATS go along with a “cowboy motif”.
…next one I see HAS to include the dogs playing poker, too. Or perhaps playing craps?
I also love unorthodox punctuation. What fun.
I love descriptions of less-than-savory things made hopefully less offensive by placing a cute phrase after the description. What fun.
I love the period after “what fun”. It’s like even she can’t suspend disbelief enough to fake enthusiasm for this thing.
^^This. That last little period is what swings the whole listing around into a lovely zone of ambiguous irony.
I wonder if it was a custom job that e requester/buyer backed ou of (came to their senses?) and now she’s stuck with trying to sell on etsy.
I have this awful fear that the two porcelain thrones in her show were demo’d. You know, upcycled.
It’s almost… poetic, and just screaming for a dramatic reading by Ms. Killer. If only it wasn’t so brief!
In a single day
I got married and won the
lottery. What fun.
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pottied, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious motif of old western lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of something gently lapping, lapping at my bathroom floor.
” ‘Tis some fuckery,” I muttered, “lapping at my bathroom floor;
Only this, and nothing more.”
Then these dark eyed pups beseeching my fat fanny into queefing,
By the grave and stern decorum of the cowboy hats they wore,
Though my mind be drunk and foggy now, my poop sure ain’t no doggy chow,
For the tongues of redneck doggies, wandering from the Petco store.
Tell me why you frolic now upon this throne’s ceramic core?
Quoth the doggies, “Shut up, whore!”
Can I thumbs up this more than once? (Golf clap)
A wonderful quote from Edgar Allen Poo.
Is anyone else bothered by the fact that it doesn’t include a seat? For that much money, you’d think that they wouldn’t leave you hanging.
Plus, who wants to have the uncomfortable conversation with the guy at Home Depot…”I need a seat for this dogs-with-cowboy-hats-toilet I bought online. Which isle might I find that in?”
aisle. I hate misspelling things.
I liked the first one. Tis an epic quest indeed if one must set sail, wandering isle to isle, looking for a dogs-with-cowboy-hats-toilet-seat.
Dogs-with-cowboy-hats toilet seats? YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
Aisle forgive you for that!
I never pictured a Maltese to be the cowboy hat wearing type of dog. Snooty little top hats maybe.
I’m just relieved that it doesn’t come with a matching bidet.
That would probably come with kittens in bandanas. What fun.
I kind of like the concept of a toilet that is something other than boring white. But, I wouldn’t want ugly dogs in silly hats, and I would want to make sure it was painted in ceramic paints and fired, or some other similar medium that won’t scrub off the first time I clean it.
I’d probably prefer something in a solid color. A forest green toilet, for example would be tasteful and unique, always look clean, and it’d match the towels in the guest bath.
I think I’d like a fire engine red toilet.
Or a solid gold one.
I like both those ideas. I am being completely serious.
Fuck that! I want the toilet I saw on HGTV that washed your bum for you. Best part was when the owner proudly declared how awesome his toilet was and how he hadn’t used toilet paper in years.
… A toilet that washes your ass is called a bidet. They’re nothing new.
On that latter one, been there, done that.
I’m currently in Japan, and this bathroom has been on the TV multiple times since getting here:
Brings a whole new definition to the term “Golden Ass”. How pedestrian. I’ll take mine studded in diamonds.
Um, you can already buy different colored toilets. We had a black one, and a friend growing up had lipstick red. I’ve seen all sorts of colors, including forest green.
Oh, and FWIW – no matter what color it is, you can STILL see the shit stains…even black….unless you have bowel issues and your shit is black….
Maybe she’ll take special requests on color for maximal hiding. It’ll help bring back the 70s just like hipsters.
Diarrhea brown or green
Post beer binge tarry
My great grandparents had a sage green, and a lemon yellow one.
Yeah, back in the days of yore you could buy toilets of all colors, but not so much anymore unless you’re willing to may triple. Old houses have colorful toilets. Go to Home Depot right now and try to buy a toilet that isn’t white or off-white. Good luck!
I’m the proud owner of a cornflower blue toilet AND a harvest gold toilet. Talk about hitting the jackpot, eh? Vintage pieces… and it shows.
If I hot-glue a few sequins and strips of bias tape on either commode, would you make me an offer that ensures my son gets through graduate school?
Put a bird on it!
Worship the porcelain dog…
the CowDog on the tank has that same hopeful, expectant look that my dog gets whenever she sees anyone vomit. “You’re not gonna finish that?” extra points for capturing the mood!!!
What’s the big deal? I poop on my dog. I mean, we’ve all done it.
I read that in Eddie Izzard’s voice.
Christopher Walken for me.
I wonder if the artist takes portrait requests. I can think of a few bastards I’ve known in my life that I wouldn’t mind hovering my ass over.
It IS an election year. . .
I always liked it when my dog would watch me while I took a huge shit. The problem was that it was really hard to get my dog into the bathroom with me. But this toilet makes things so Efficient!
Get a cat. Not only do they pitch a fit if they can’t go in with you, they have the cast iron NERVE to stare like there’s something wrong with you.
This toilet is not to be used when toilet training a child…
I don’t think Fluffers the Mutt is ever going to be the same.
I wonder what the matching toilet paper cover would look like?
pink and wet.
*doubles as a water fountain.
Sadly, dogs eating shit is nothing new…
This would just confuse the family dog and piss off the cat. And you don’t want to do that.
Do you think they will let me replace the toilet in my apartment with that? Shit!
why oh why no “see it in a room”??
why oh why no “see it at the dump”??
VIEW IT IN A ROOM
Ohhhhh….so it’s supposed to go with that “stained muslin” pillowcase set? Now it all makes sense!
Oh, I forgot:
In our house, this would just be a waste. We eat a lot of spicy food, and it would be a doggone shame if the paint started peeling off the crapper. (The puns were truly accidental, but I left them in anyway.)
Where the hell is “view it in a room”???
See post above.
If I wanted some pooch all over my toilet…
My understanding of dog ownership is that toilet all over the pooch is pretty much inevitable.
She also has a tennis shoe version, which would be perfect for that guy from last week with the fetish. . .
In that listing, the description reads: “this exquisite hand-painted toilet can add glamour and functionality to a ho-hum bathroom…”
Glamor, OK. But how, exactly, is having your toilet hideously painted with unexplainable imagery adding a function?
If only I could decide which toilet is more hideous.
Since when do tennis shoes bring “glamour”?
Since the Ked’s masturbation guy?
Oh wait, that was shame. Shame and chaffing. Not glamor.
I really really want to punch the solar plexus of the first person who said “What fun!” in any sort of product description. Can’t someone make it stop. Please.
Don’t make me say it….
So if you’re scrubbing the bowl, does something red come up out of the drain?
Thanks. Now I can’t un-g**t-see it.
Dreams truly are the gateway to the anus! *glitter tear*
I would say it’s vice-versa…but either way…:)
In the artist’s defense, she kind of has a mullet. So she’s cool in my book.
You spend 3 months training the cat to go in the toilet and after that first experience jumping up on the new toilet the little bastard won’t even go into the bathroom any more. So now you can’t leave dishes in the sink any more.
Back during the W years I offered to paint a George W bush face with a bullseye over it inside the bowl of my mother’s toilet…but we couldn’t figure out how to bake the toilet to set the ceramic paints, at least our oven wasn’t big enough. we were trying to rival Al Franken’s Reagan Bathroom!
I propose a new category “Blackout Crafting” In which you just know they woke up with a raging hangover and say “What the hell did I (paint) this time… oh lord.
Or “Blafting”, for short.
How do you clean this? I mean, any chemicals strong enough to kill germs is going to eat the paint. Also, what happens if the paint chips? Does the artist offer touch ups or send touch up paint?
Who’s the crazy with a cowboy themed bathroom?
So many questions, so little time…
There are people for whom ‘Cowboy’ is not a theme, it is the default.
Who is the crazy with the Maltese dressed as a Cowboy themed bathroom?
When I was five-ish, I went to a relative’s house for some party or another. (Hang on, this story will end up being related.) Anyways, at the party, I had to pee, as people will. I was escorted kindly to the bathroom, which was, to my horror, Elvis Presley themed. The walls were covered in posters, the mirror was surrounded by Velvises, and, worst of all, there was a life-sized cardboard cutout of the King himself standing sentinel over the crapper. So I peed while Elvis Presley watched me from beyond the grave.
So I’m just saying that there are worse themes for a bathroom.
You know, it’s weird, but I’ve actually met another person in the years since who also has an Elvis bathroom. Is this a thing? Is there some sort of connection in people’s minds between-
My guest bathroom is Elvis themed…fat, sweaty, Vegas Elvis. Guest use it once and never come back…which is the whole point.
Why is it always bathroom goods? Where are the fridges? The ovens? The spin driers? Dogs and fridges I can see; toilets make me think of goldfish. Blue ones.
Who would want this toilet? My 3 y.o. son. He thought it was cute & asked for it for his birthday.
You won’t have to worry about him not lifting the seat, since there isn’t one. (Oddly, nothing is mentioned about that in the copy.)
Aaaaw, the color of the pie coordinates with the item…
She has talent. It’s a shame that she chose such a shitty medium to piss around with.
Go look at her other paintings in her shop, and notice that she obviously loves dogs, but she must really really hate cats. They look deformed.
Or her dogs must really hate her models.
The cat is a delicate creature, difficult to capture well in FolkArt Ceramic acrylics.
Dammit. I guess my search for a toilet covered in dogs wearing cowboy hats and having a fucking awful time continues. SO CLOSE!!!!
My 3 dogs already come in and stare at me while I pee… I don’t need more anywhere around me.
Shitty painting on a crapper, or crappy painting on a shitter? For the measly sum of more than most mortgages, it’s yours!
I’m pretty sure that you can get one of those fancy Japanese toilets that wash, dry, scent and warm your tushy for less.
This almost lead to the ceremonial burning of my BA in art + design degree. I stopped, realizing that I have student loan debt and should at least put that on YouTube.
You must be logged in to post a comment.
The term "Etsy" is a trademark of Etsy, Inc. This site is not affiliated with Etsy, Inc.