oh no! My plans have been discovered. Except I haven’t even made anything quite this shitty and useless yet…. But you can be sure I am definitely doing it, now.
As a resident of the Southern hemisphere, I feel very aggrieved by this. Aren’t we as worthy of being covered in creamy lacy tat as you folks up there in the north?
Doilies circling the globe have been a hazard to shipping, ever since Isambard Brunel put them in place as a result of a frivolous suggestion of the Queen.
A year later this still enrages me. I know it’s not healthy to get this angry over such stupid shit but the fact that it is such stupid shit is what makes me so damned angry!
YES!!!! I never saw this post before (must be newer to Regretsy than I thought) and I am PUMPED because I totally agree that this is the dumbest fucking shit Etsy could ever vomit up.
Now I will never again have to use real words and sentences to explain to friends what Etsy is and why Regretsy has to exist.
AreYouGoingToEatThatPickle
June 23, 2012 at 5:25 pm
Someone needs to lay off the buttercream icing and rainbow sprinkles before they hurt themselves. No one that is drunk on cupcakes should be allowed to operate a glue gun. It should hold a similar punishment as DUI. Crafting Under Influence of Cupcakes. CUIC.
What gets me is that it’s a vintage globe. Which probably means it shows countries that no longer exist because they were annexed during wars or renamed or some such.
Not that you could tell NOW THAT IT’S WRAPPED IN 12 YARDS OF FREAKING LACE!
As Earth teasingly rolled off one garter after the other, Venus clouded up, Mars turned red, Mercury rose, and Saturn took back the ring. The evening ended with a whole bunch of moons and you’re damn lucky I didn’t mention Uranus.
If I had a globe, I’d like to use it. Kinda looks like she was really excited at the north pole and kinda pooped out (or ran out of lace) around Antarctica.
This was the first thing I ever saw on regretsy. I stared and stared at the abominations. Now, a year later, I still cannot come to terms with it. Why did someone do this? I’m bewildered and angry.
So I’m guessing it would be really bad to admit that I now want to glue rainbow glitter dingle balls on my old globe?? Vertically of course, so much more slimming.
Anytime I introduce one of my friends to Regretsy, this is the post that I show them. I had already been reading regretsy daily for about six months when this post appeared, but it was the first one that truly appalled me.
June 23, 2012 at 11:42 am
I’ll place it as the centerpiece in the front room and call it “arsenic and upcycled lace”
June 23, 2012 at 11:42 am
“New take on the ever classic & timeless globe?”
Do they mean “Make it absolutely fucking worthless to use an in any way shape or form”? Or is that just how I’m reading it.
June 23, 2012 at 2:56 pm
I know! A vintage globe is cool. A vintage globe with cheap lace glued to it is ruined.
June 23, 2012 at 11:43 am
Oh shit, forgot about that idiotic thing. Lace across the world!
June 23, 2012 at 11:43 am
I can see the Tropic of Crapricorn.
June 23, 2012 at 2:59 pm
This literally made me laugh out loud.
June 23, 2012 at 11:43 am
A year later and it’s still dumb as fuck.
June 23, 2012 at 11:43 am
I’m starting to think people are making shit just to be featured on Regretsy.
June 23, 2012 at 11:45 am
I’m not “starting to,” I’m convinced!
June 23, 2012 at 3:51 pm
Oooh… “sexy earth.”
June 23, 2012 at 11:47 am
oh no! My plans have been discovered. Except I haven’t even made anything quite this shitty and useless yet…. But you can be sure I am definitely doing it, now.
June 23, 2012 at 1:39 pm
This does set the silly/useless bar pretty high, but I have faith you can out crap this person.
June 24, 2012 at 2:03 pm
For Pandactyl’s sake, I hope that person soft.
June 24, 2012 at 2:05 pm
IS soft.
Shit. I hate when I make a typo.
June 25, 2012 at 4:13 pm
Ooh, maybe a FJL challenge?? Make the crappiest thing possible, upload it to Etsy and Regretsy, and whoever sells first is the winner!
June 23, 2012 at 11:44 am
“I finally found the dumbest fucking thing on Etsy.”
I think you just challenged the craft-tards to prove you wrong.
June 23, 2012 at 7:37 pm
Challenge accepted.
June 23, 2012 at 11:45 am
As a resident of the Southern hemisphere, I feel very aggrieved by this. Aren’t we as worthy of being covered in creamy lacy tat as you folks up there in the north?
June 23, 2012 at 11:50 am
She used up all the ribbon covering the creamy yummy USA! Go troops!
June 23, 2012 at 5:43 pm
Yours would fall off due to you all being upsidedown, etc.
June 23, 2012 at 11:48 am
This is the kind of thing that the Doctor tries to prevent from happening.
June 23, 2012 at 3:21 pm
He’s only one man, er, time lord.
June 23, 2012 at 11:49 am
They forgot the glitter
June 23, 2012 at 8:12 pm
That’s on the upcycled iPhone with a Google map printout glued on it.
June 23, 2012 at 11:50 am
Given I got the “Pinch my tits…” page, I’m assuming the seller took this down in shame and embarrassment. Thank fuck.
June 23, 2012 at 11:56 am
“Millions of deaths today as giant ribbons of what appears to be lace wrap in lines right around the globe. Oh the hem-anity!”
June 23, 2012 at 5:28 pm
I seam what you did there.
June 23, 2012 at 11:56 am
It’s like a botched dice roll while using the “roll one on Table A and one on Table B” approach to Gluing Shit to Other Shit.
June 23, 2012 at 12:02 pm
“I finally found the dumbest fucking thing on Etsy.”
You have now doomed yourself. Stupider stuff is sure to show up now.
June 23, 2012 at 12:06 pm
Planet Cupcake is very colorful, but those bands of cirrus clouds look ominous.
June 23, 2012 at 12:08 pm
As a resident above the 49th line of laceitude, I call Fail! Up here , it should be KNIT. [ Alaska, are you with me? ]
June 23, 2012 at 12:09 pm
Christo should sue.
June 24, 2012 at 2:08 pm
If it were up to me, his would be a countersuit.
June 23, 2012 at 12:39 pm
We are pretty sure that is how two of the Mixed Species guys found wives. By using vintage lace to embellish and upcycle our junk! It works!!
June 23, 2012 at 1:19 pm
The world is evil
but, fortunately, life is short
June 23, 2012 at 1:32 pm
Is this how it happens, then? Freakin’ Mayans…
June 23, 2012 at 1:54 pm
The other planets are laughing at us.
June 23, 2012 at 9:12 pm
Even Uranus.
June 23, 2012 at 2:20 pm
Way to make geography NOT sexy. Fuckin’ fucks.
June 23, 2012 at 2:37 pm
no one else feels that it´s lacking some barnwood?
June 23, 2012 at 4:25 pm
Even barnwood couldn’t make this better. Or worse, for that matter.
June 23, 2012 at 3:04 pm
before i even got to the bottom of the entry, i was thinking “this has to be the dumbest fucking thing on etsy.”
June 23, 2012 at 3:06 pm
also ~WHIMSY~
June 23, 2012 at 3:19 pm
Doilies circling the globe have been a hazard to shipping, ever since Isambard Brunel put them in place as a result of a frivolous suggestion of the Queen.
June 23, 2012 at 3:25 pm
A year later this still enrages me. I know it’s not healthy to get this angry over such stupid shit but the fact that it is such stupid shit is what makes me so damned angry!
June 23, 2012 at 3:42 pm
YES!!!! I never saw this post before (must be newer to Regretsy than I thought) and I am PUMPED because I totally agree that this is the dumbest fucking shit Etsy could ever vomit up.
Now I will never again have to use real words and sentences to explain to friends what Etsy is and why Regretsy has to exist.
June 23, 2012 at 4:09 pm
See, that’s the kind of shit that made Regretsy what it is today…
June 23, 2012 at 4:01 pm
Hmm, I see the earth as more a thong type than frilly lace.
June 24, 2012 at 9:23 am
I was thinking rickrack
June 24, 2012 at 2:09 pm
I’m still looking for the tramp stamp.
June 23, 2012 at 4:07 pm
But doesn’t our planet suck less when lace trimmed?
June 23, 2012 at 4:27 pm
My map-loving mother will be rolling in her grave. Oh, she’s not dead yet, but she will be after she sees this.
June 23, 2012 at 5:25 pm
Someone needs to lay off the buttercream icing and rainbow sprinkles before they hurt themselves. No one that is drunk on cupcakes should be allowed to operate a glue gun. It should hold a similar punishment as DUI. Crafting Under Influence of Cupcakes. CUIC.
June 23, 2012 at 5:31 pm
What gets me is that it’s a vintage globe. Which probably means it shows countries that no longer exist because they were annexed during wars or renamed or some such.
Not that you could tell NOW THAT IT’S WRAPPED IN 12 YARDS OF FREAKING LACE!
June 23, 2012 at 5:52 pm
As Earth teasingly rolled off one garter after the other, Venus clouded up, Mars turned red, Mercury rose, and Saturn took back the ring. The evening ended with a whole bunch of moons and you’re damn lucky I didn’t mention Uranus.
June 24, 2012 at 2:12 pm
Some comments make me chuckle, some make me laugh out loud, some make me giggle. Yours made me want to yell out “SQUEEEEEEEE!”
Thanks. It’s rare to have a good squee!
June 23, 2012 at 6:19 pm
“Good vintage condition”
NOT ANYMORE, IS IT?
June 23, 2012 at 6:22 pm
If I had a globe, I’d like to use it. Kinda looks like she was really excited at the north pole and kinda pooped out (or ran out of lace) around Antarctica.
June 23, 2012 at 6:29 pm
This globe is worthless without gears.
June 23, 2012 at 6:51 pm
Meh. Needs a moustache. Somewhere around Chad, I think.
June 24, 2012 at 2:23 pm
Your wish was granted, but I can’t post a picture, so go to the first appearance of this global disaster and scroll down for a totes adorbs moustache. http://www.regretsy.com/2011/06/22/good-news/#comments
June 23, 2012 at 7:12 pm
Needs more moustache. And an octopus pendant in the ocean.
June 23, 2012 at 7:24 pm
This was the first thing I ever saw on regretsy. I stared and stared at the abominations. Now, a year later, I still cannot come to terms with it. Why did someone do this? I’m bewildered and angry.
June 24, 2012 at 2:24 pm
On a positive note, Happy Anniversary!
June 23, 2012 at 8:13 pm
“We come in peace from the land beneath the third ruffle”.
June 23, 2012 at 8:18 pm
So I’m guessing it would be really bad to admit that I now want to glue rainbow glitter dingle balls on my old globe?? Vertically of course, so much more slimming.
June 23, 2012 at 8:46 pm
This explains why it’s been so dark (and lacey) outside.
June 23, 2012 at 11:33 pm
It’s as if God put a giant pair of rumba panties on the Earth.
June 24, 2012 at 10:40 am
Hey now, sometimes the earth just wants to feel pretty! Who are we to judge it?!?!
(Seriously though that thing is beyond ridiculous.)
June 24, 2012 at 7:08 pm
Oooooh! I FINALLY get it! “Upcycle” means : to completely ruin something that was timelessly functional.
June 25, 2012 at 10:38 am
Anytime I introduce one of my friends to Regretsy, this is the post that I show them. I had already been reading regretsy daily for about six months when this post appeared, but it was the first one that truly appalled me.
June 25, 2012 at 4:27 pm
You just know the follow-up products is a map with a thong.
June 26, 2012 at 4:30 am
At least it is relatively cheap, you could get 10 of those for the price of and both are equally useful.
June 26, 2012 at 4:34 am
ugh, first ever post on Regretsy and I screwed it up,
What I mean’t to say was you could get ten of those for the price of THIS
June 26, 2012 at 5:36 pm
One “What the Fuck” isn’t enough. Have many.
June 26, 2012 at 5:38 pm
y my embed no work?
June 26, 2012 at 5:38 pm
FINE. Just have a link. Seesh.
http://youtu.be/0INWRpI_I2o
July 1, 2012 at 9:05 am
You think this is funny! One of those giant pieces of lace descending from the sky KILLED my father!
July 11, 2012 at 12:04 am
Find a new hobby jackass!!!