ALSO AVAILABLE IN PUBES (FOR SMALLER PROJECTS)
I’m so happy to hear that fishing with an employee’s gray hair ISN’T strange!
Does anyone know if it’s strange to fish with a coworker’s hair? I need to know before Sunday.
The only way I’d fish with a co-workers hair is 1. if it is one particular coworker and 2. the hair is still attached to her head.
If grey hair is worth a buck a strand, I am a fucking goldmine!
Such a crass statement for ye of wizened and hoary head who is, no doubt, above the need for material wealth. But yea, bring it on like Donkey Kong!
hey! my head is NOT whorey…oh, wait, you said hoary…yeah it is that.
excuse me while I go pluck out all of my in-laws’ hair.
I’d say silvermine in this case.
I’m more interested in a hair of the dog, thanks.
I have a whole house full of dog hair for you! It’s white, just like that one.
Where’s the OOAK? Or are they expecting more “stock” soon?
I’m surprised the description doesn’t include “Upcycled” or “Reclaimed” in it.
or “comfortable and lightweight for your daily use time” as featured in the Iphone case listing in yesterday’s “Derp roundup”
It’s only steampunk if the assistant was alive in the Victorian era.
This is GENIUS – with that one grey hair – you can insert it into your meal at a local resturant and get the meal compt to you – just make sure that your hair is any other color but like this hair!!!!
But it would only work with this hair if you showed up at the restaurant at 430 in the afternoon, ordered tap water and the early bird special, complained about a mysterious draft, and left a four and half percent tip.
PS – Waiters LOOOOOVE seeing pictures of grandchildren.
Ordering coffee instead of water would also be acceptable, especially if it’s 90 degrees outside.
There is an untapped Etsy market for this. If it is strong enough for fishing – why not add Nana to a sampler and always have some part of her to remember. Color choices generally limited to white, grey, purple and blueish
Ok, this must be the bottom of the barrel, surely, that is being scraped?
(and don’t call me Shirley, I hear you shout!)
I think we’re well past the bottom of the barrel and digging for China now.
Considering the preponderance of Chinese resellers, I think we’re on to whatever comes after that.
The International Space Station?
I’m thinking that this is really a piece of used dental floss. How did it end up in her employee’s hair? Wanton dental health rituals.
HIS employee’s hair, and you really should ask him how he got it LOL.
I don’t like where this is going. Before you know it, grandmas everywhere are going to get mugged for their hair.
Actually, we’re not that far off.
…but wait! that’s not all! you can also buy it in combination with THIS…
…random crappy bits of string…?
Do you think the seller has ever actually been fishing? Successfully? Fish aren’t THAT stupid.
No, didn’t you notice? They are knitted.
oh no…looks like they are “croched” too…now we know what happened to that doll.
I have obviously been knitting wrong all these years…
You and I both. Maybe we can find someone willing to teach us the fine art of “crotching.” And magick.
Coming to a book store near you – One Shade of Grey – the story of an elderly hairdresser who, late in life, discovers the erotic joy of bondage, fishing, charging a dollar for things, and commenting on Regretsy.
Too late! http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=4307
I should think HK has given the twinkletoes at Etsy enough grey hairs to stock a shop. Or Overstock.com, for that matter.
Yes. Anything ELSE would be strange.
I think I need to look up the word ‘strange’ again. Clearly I missed something the first time around that this seller really understood.
She only said “anything else would be strange.” That technically doesn’t exclude this from being strange as well.
Is this another thing like “rainwater” that is needed for people practicing Magick?
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
I got some of DMX’s sweat on me last night. How much do you think I can sell that for? Well, time flies, you try to find what you bitches want from a nigga, you get hot, and you sweat. Anything else would be strange.
skeet skeet skeet
You gotta be yankin’ me.
It wasn’t yanked. It turned white and fell off naturally…
Listen, I’m not going to split hairs with you over this…
There is absolutely no reason to wig-out over this. Let’s just try to comb through the facts.
I’m sorry for tressing out, but this whole hairy situation is just plucked.
I’m just relieved that the details got flat-ironed out; frankly, this seller is really crimping my style.
I think we just need to brush this whole incident aside.
Yeah, stop picking on me, you tease. You know I’m parted on the right.
Stop, you guys! I’m dying over here!
I’d like to discuss the highlights of this topic, if anyone’s interested.
This is all my follicle. I accessorize.
Quit nit-picking. (Ewwww)
This makes me want to pull my hair out… then list it on Etsy for a modest fee.
Wasn’t this already featured a few weeks ago? Or did someone just post it in the thread of another weird thing by this same seller? I don’t even know anymore.
Tursiart, we posted at the same time with the same thought. That makes me feel better about my sanity and diminishing short-term memory.
Yeah, I know I saw this hair on regretsy a few weeks ago. I’m pretty sure something else from this seller’s shop was being featured, and someone pointed out that everything in the store was weird, with a link to this hair.
It was an Etsy or Regretsy- Formless Knitting.
I almost spit my coffee out when I saw it was the same seller. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any wierder…you get some hippy selling gray hairs.
oh, the fact that this is the same seller as the formless knitting…one of the greatest most insane etsy listings so far…just makes me so happy!
It was in the thread of another weird thing by the same seller.
The formless knitting has been featured before.
I think they had a bunch of boxes that belonged to shop assistant Ana that they were selling, too. Something like, buy one mystery box unopened. It could contain valuable family documents!
I love this store.
What if Ana has no idea this is happening to her and the shop owner is secretly Etsy-stalking her? Following poor Ana around with a whisk broom and dust pan just hoping she’ll discard something…
Oh dear, should we call the authorities before something larger than a hair shows up for sale? Like a finger?
If she has fingers dropping off, then yes, somebody should call somebody.
Your comment is like fifty times better when I imagine it read by your avatar. He looks genuinely concerned for Ana’s health and well-being.
Does un-knit with dirt ring any bells?
I’m losing my mind. I could have sworn this was posted on Regretsy a few weeks ago. That’s scary.
It’s like my shock when I saw Blake Edwards wheel himself out in a wheelchair on the Emmys one year, when I was POSITIVE I’d read his obituary in the NY Times.
Or when I heard that Jonathan Frid had died a couple months ago when I was also POSITIVE that he’d died 2 years ago.
I need a vacation. :\
I swear I’ve read this comment before…
You’re so cruel, Getoffmylawn, so very, very cruel.
What were we talking about??
I think it had something to do with fly fishing, but I’m not sure…
Abe Vigoda lives.
Fly fishing can be fun if the right guy is wearing the pants.
And has worms.
I think the seller was featured an an etsy-or-regretsy for one of their other creations – a large yarn mess half buried in the ground or something.
Found it! http://www.etsy.com/listing/76647223/formless-knitting
And if it wasn’t, then clearly I am going mad.
It’s deja vu all over again.
This is from the same shop that was selling the “formless knitting” masterpiece from this post: http://www.regretsy.com/2012/05/31/etsy-or-regretsy-your-guesses-and-answers-9/
Maybe somebody posted this listing in one of comments!
How do you think I felt when I read that Richard Dawson died? I thought he’d croaked years ago. By the way, why no tragicrafting in his honor? It’s a damn shame!
You might be confusing it with this “artwork” posted last week. http://www.etsy.com/listing/97542305/move-2-small-10-x-10-abstract-lithograph
Today’s hair is like the negative (for those of us old enough to recall cameras with film) of the “lithograph.”
Soon to be bought by someone who will be making a “VINTAGE STEAMPUNK WIG.”
Or planting evidence…
I see an upcoming episode of something or other on Discovery ID…
I’m going to kidnap Robin Williams, get one of those sheep shearing clippers and make a FORTUNE.
Guys with chest hair turn me on like a freaking light switch, but Robin Williams is three follicles away from being the missing link.
The man’s a human merkin factory.
Oh noes! I have a head full of gray hairs, but I color them!!! I’ve ruined their original patina, they just don’t have that kind of value anymore. Dammit! I suppose I could sell my dyed hairs at a discount, say 10 cents each. Any takers? Anyone?
I wonder how much shipping is on that hair…
I wouldn’t want toupee much.
Yeah, but I hear the prices are going to fall.
She’s merkin a fortune.
Maybe she could cut some prices, or offer another style?
I’d hate to get scalped.
This is my favorite shop EVER.
Any time I ever think I would be a complete sell out for artfully photographing various pieces of garbage or lone since not deposited “recyclables” on eloquent white backgrounds… well, someone has to go and top my potential idiocy.
How much do you think I can get for a 25 year old empty Fanta can? The State of Michigan is only willing to offer me 10¢ and that fucker won’t go thru a Tomra machine, so I’m going to have to take it to the service counter…
It starts with just a hair here and there, Shop Assistant Ana. Watch your back or you’ll end up in a bathtub full of ice and your bedazzled organs repurposed as knickknacks and tchotchkies on the front page.
I wonder if she ever clips her fingernails in the break room. I’m sure those also have value…
As do her used tampons, I’m sure. Don’t give the seller ideas, please.
He’s already moved on to hawking her great-grandparent’s junk.
I wonder if they pay her salary in yarn.
Fucking awesome! She’s selling Grandma’s hoard on Etsy.
He keeps talking about this “Ana,” yet shows no photos. Perhaps she’s like the mom in “Psycho,” or perhaps she’s (she was) real and we’ll find her, or parts of her, in one of those boxes.
Maybe it’d be useful planting false evidence at a CSI crime scene? I don’t know. What the fuck would someone buy a Goddamn hair for.
*adds “husband hair shaver” to list of job titles*
Or would that be “resource manager?”
Those aren’t knitted or crocheted – just pieces of string or yarn that were clipped off some project. To be fair – they do have a knitted worm in their shop, but this ain’t it.
I’m a little concerned that the seller is also offering surprise boxes full of Ana’s personal items from “great-grandparents onward”. Ancestral scalps, perhaps?
When I buy body parts I prefer not to know the name of the person they came from… in general.
It just complicates things.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SOMEBODY PLEASE BUY THE MYSTERY BOX. I MUST KNOW WHAT IT CONTAINS.
What’s in the box? WHAT’S IN THE BOX? aaand….scene.
There was some hair in the box and…
Just think, if each of us donates $1 to the ‘Mystery Box Fund’ instead of wasting it on single gray hairs we could probably buy like 6 mystery boxes!
it won’t help … there are many of them…
I bet if she really put her mind to it, she could find enough hairs in shapes to make all the letters of the alphabet. Nursery decor!
Carry one with you every time you go to a restaurant, and you’ll never have to pay!
Whenever I go to the hairdresser, I usually end up feeling a little strange that a part of myself has ended up in somebody’s bin. All these years I could have been flogging it a strand at a time on etsy!
I need one whose length is 3″ longer than the circumference of my weenus.
In a pinch, you could use dental floss.
Oh noes! I have a head full of gray hairs but I color them!!! I’ve totally ruined their original patina now, they aren’t worth nearly as much. I think I can still get ten cents per dyed hair. Any takers? Anyone? They come in a lovely unnatural shade of red.
OK so my posts are not showing up. If you guys see almost the same post from me twice, it’s because it hasn’t shown up for me. Anyway, so long and thanks for all the fish.
Don’t panic! We’re seeing them.
It’s bizarre I’m not but hey, life is weird XD
So, the hair costs a dollar. But how much for shipping and handling? How will it be packaged? One must take care with such a rare treasure.
I thought for sure that the description would give us all the ways the hair could be used for magik (or however the hell they spell it).
“This hair may be used in divinnne spells of great power to increase the thickness of your underarm hair!!! It can also be used to summon the goddess of folicls 4 those who want a thick main.”
Or when I heard that Jonathan Frid had died a couple months ago when I was also POSITIVE that he’d died 2 years ago.
That’s my favorite so far.
I see dead people – who aren’t.
I could swear that I read this exact same post somewhere else!
This is very spooky.
No, no, you have to say it like my kid says it! it’s the only way to say that word now: spooOOOoooky (twiddling fingers in the air)
It’s not just “here’s a hair I’m selling”, it’s “here’s a hair from my assistant I’m selling”.
I’m wondering what Ana gets out of this. A 50 cent cut of the action, maybe? Shouldn’t she get the whole dollar, though, since it’s her hair?
Just to show how disturbed my thoughts run: Does she even know this is happening? I’d be upset if people were selling parts of me without my knowledge. If I worked at a store and the manager seemed really eager to brush my hair I think I’d balk.
Or maybe she’s finding it on the floor and assuming it’s Ana’s hair. From her head. Hmm.
(This is why collectibles come with those certificates of authenticity…)
Let’s not split hairs over this.
It takes two to tangle.
And what if a follicle is attached and we could clone Ana without her ever knowing
Yeah, but Ana Ng and I are getting old…
And we still haven’t walked in the glow of each other’s majestic presence! Goddamn it. At least I’ll be able to clone her so that I can walk in the glow of her non-grey-haired cloney presence.
At first, after seeing the ragged gray hair and the steamer trunk in the background, I thought this might be my grandma. But then I realized that a) my grandma doesn’t have seizure-inducing linoleum in her kitchen, b) it would look suspicious in relation to the canned food she often sells, c) she doesn’t know how to use either a camera or a computer, and d) she has a lick of goddamned sense…
Is that Ana in the bottom left corner, being surreptitiously photographed?
By which I mean bottom right…
I’d ask why, but if Regretsy has taught me anything it’s that I NEVER want to know why.
The other thing Regretsy has taught me is that I only ever want to know where the tequila and Xanax are!
Crap. Apparently I’ve been in the tequila and didn’t even realize it. Massive apologies for that HTML failure!
This was her assistant’s hair. That makes this a collective.
I read Regresty faithfully, but every now and then the sheer audacity of these Etsy sellers makes me temporarily hate mankind. Well done, grey hair seller.
Of course I had to check his shop to see if anyone bought this stuff. If he had more sales than me, my head would’ve started spinning as I chucked all of my stock and yarn of the balcony…
This really, really makes me want to crack open the Japanese plum wine sat on top of the fridge and start swilling. And I have no idea what plum wine is like, either- this listing just compels me towards booze.
Welp. There it goes. My ability to be surprised by anything on Etsy just flew the fuck away.
Knee Scabs for Sale:
Got the munchies for epidermal crunchies? 3 fingernail-size, patella-terroir bio-snacks. £10 the lot, £30 for pick your own
My great-grandmother just died. If I’d seen this earlier, I could have been making a lot of money off of her. Alas, at this point, I think grave-robbing would be too creepy for me.
What do you think long grey chin-hair goes for? From an Native American Earth/Sky Wombyn, but probably loaded with useful and tasty beer-yeast. Email with offers.
Lucky my hairdresser doesn’t charge by the white hair for dye jobs. It would get dearer every retouch…
I wasn’t gonna buy the hair, but when I saw it was from Ana, the shop assistant, I knew I just had to have it…
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