This is GENIUS – with that one grey hair – you can insert it into your meal at a local resturant and get the meal compt to you – just make sure that your hair is any other color but like this hair!!!!
But it would only work with this hair if you showed up at the restaurant at 430 in the afternoon, ordered tap water and the early bird special, complained about a mysterious draft, and left a four and half percent tip.
There is an untapped Etsy market for this. If it is strong enough for fishing – why not add Nana to a sampler and always have some part of her to remember. Color choices generally limited to white, grey, purple and blueish
Coming to a book store near you – One Shade of Grey – the story of an elderly hairdresser who, late in life, discovers the erotic joy of bondage, fishing, charging a dollar for things, and commenting on Regretsy.
I got some of DMX’s sweat on me last night. How much do you think I can sell that for? Well, time flies, you try to find what you bitches want from a nigga, you get hot, and you sweat. Anything else would be strange.
Wasn’t this already featured a few weeks ago? Or did someone just post it in the thread of another weird thing by this same seller? I don’t even know anymore.
Yeah, I know I saw this hair on regretsy a few weeks ago. I’m pretty sure something else from this seller’s shop was being featured, and someone pointed out that everything in the store was weird, with a link to this hair.
I almost spit my coffee out when I saw it was the same seller. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any wierder…you get some hippy selling gray hairs.
I think they had a bunch of boxes that belonged to shop assistant Ana that they were selling, too. Something like, buy one mystery box unopened. It could contain valuable family documents!
What if Ana has no idea this is happening to her and the shop owner is secretly Etsy-stalking her? Following poor Ana around with a whisk broom and dust pan just hoping she’ll discard something…
I’m losing my mind. I could have sworn this was posted on Regretsy a few weeks ago. That’s scary.
It’s like my shock when I saw Blake Edwards wheel himself out in a wheelchair on the Emmys one year, when I was POSITIVE I’d read his obituary in the NY Times.
Or when I heard that Jonathan Frid had died a couple months ago when I was also POSITIVE that he’d died 2 years ago.
How do you think I felt when I read that Richard Dawson died? I thought he’d croaked years ago. By the way, why no tragicrafting in his honor? It’s a damn shame!
Oh noes! I have a head full of gray hairs, but I color them!!! I’ve ruined their original patina, they just don’t have that kind of value anymore. Dammit! I suppose I could sell my dyed hairs at a discount, say 10 cents each. Any takers? Anyone?
Any time I ever think I would be a complete sell out for artfully photographing various pieces of garbage or lone since not deposited “recyclables” on eloquent white backgrounds… well, someone has to go and top my potential idiocy.
How much do you think I can get for a 25 year old empty Fanta can? The State of Michigan is only willing to offer me 10¢ and that fucker won’t go thru a Tomra machine, so I’m going to have to take it to the service counter…
It starts with just a hair here and there, Shop Assistant Ana. Watch your back or you’ll end up in a bathtub full of ice and your bedazzled organs repurposed as knickknacks and tchotchkies on the front page.
He keeps talking about this “Ana,” yet shows no photos. Perhaps she’s like the mom in “Psycho,” or perhaps she’s (she was) real and we’ll find her, or parts of her, in one of those boxes.
Those aren’t knitted or crocheted – just pieces of string or yarn that were clipped off some project. To be fair – they do have a knitted worm in their shop, but this ain’t it.
I’m a little concerned that the seller is also offering surprise boxes full of Ana’s personal items from “great-grandparents onward”. Ancestral scalps, perhaps?
Whenever I go to the hairdresser, I usually end up feeling a little strange that a part of myself has ended up in somebody’s bin. All these years I could have been flogging it a strand at a time on etsy!
Oh noes! I have a head full of gray hairs but I color them!!! I’ve totally ruined their original patina now, they aren’t worth nearly as much. I think I can still get ten cents per dyed hair. Any takers? Anyone? They come in a lovely unnatural shade of red.
OK so my posts are not showing up. If you guys see almost the same post from me twice, it’s because it hasn’t shown up for me. Anyway, so long and thanks for all the fish.
I thought for sure that the description would give us all the ways the hair could be used for magik (or however the hell they spell it).
“This hair may be used in divinnne spells of great power to increase the thickness of your underarm hair!!! It can also be used to summon the goddess of folicls 4 those who want a thick main.”
I’m losing my mind. I could have sworn this was posted on Regretsy a few weeks ago. That’s scary.
It’s like my shock when I saw Blake Edwards wheel himself out in a wheelchair on the Emmys one year, when I was POSITIVE I’d read his obituary in the NY Times.
Or when I heard that Jonathan Frid had died a couple months ago when I was also POSITIVE that he’d died 2 years ago.
It’s not just “here’s a hair I’m selling”, it’s “here’s a hair from my assistant I’m selling”.
I’m wondering what Ana gets out of this. A 50 cent cut of the action, maybe? Shouldn’t she get the whole dollar, though, since it’s her hair?
Just to show how disturbed my thoughts run: Does she even know this is happening? I’d be upset if people were selling parts of me without my knowledge. If I worked at a store and the manager seemed really eager to brush my hair I think I’d balk.
Or maybe she’s finding it on the floor and assuming it’s Ana’s hair. From her head. Hmm.
(This is why collectibles come with those certificates of authenticity…)
And we still haven’t walked in the glow of each other’s majestic presence! Goddamn it. At least I’ll be able to clone her so that I can walk in the glow of her non-grey-haired cloney presence.
At first, after seeing the ragged gray hair and the steamer trunk in the background, I thought this might be my grandma. But then I realized that a) my grandma doesn’t have seizure-inducing linoleum in her kitchen, b) it would look suspicious in relation to the canned food she often sells, c) she doesn’t know how to use either a camera or a computer, and d) she has a lick of goddamned sense…
I read Regresty faithfully, but every now and then the sheer audacity of these Etsy sellers makes me temporarily hate mankind. Well done, grey hair seller.
Of course I had to check his shop to see if anyone bought this stuff. If he had more sales than me, my head would’ve started spinning as I chucked all of my stock and yarn of the balcony…
This really, really makes me want to crack open the Japanese plum wine sat on top of the fridge and start swilling. And I have no idea what plum wine is like, either- this listing just compels me towards booze.
My great-grandmother just died. If I’d seen this earlier, I could have been making a lot of money off of her. Alas, at this point, I think grave-robbing would be too creepy for me.
What do you think long grey chin-hair goes for? From an Native American Earth/Sky Wombyn, but probably loaded with useful and tasty beer-yeast. Email with offers.
June 22, 2012 at 9:52 am
I’m so happy to hear that fishing with an employee’s gray hair ISN’T strange!
June 22, 2012 at 10:38 am
Does anyone know if it’s strange to fish with a coworker’s hair? I need to know before Sunday.
June 22, 2012 at 1:13 pm
The only way I’d fish with a co-workers hair is 1. if it is one particular coworker and 2. the hair is still attached to her head.
June 22, 2012 at 9:53 am
If grey hair is worth a buck a strand, I am a fucking goldmine!
June 22, 2012 at 10:40 am
Such a crass statement for ye of wizened and hoary head who is, no doubt, above the need for material wealth. But yea, bring it on like Donkey Kong!
June 22, 2012 at 12:04 pm
hey! my head is NOT whorey…oh, wait, you said hoary…yeah it is that.
June 22, 2012 at 12:27 pm
excuse me while I go pluck out all of my in-laws’ hair.
June 22, 2012 at 1:11 pm
I’d say silvermine in this case.
June 22, 2012 at 9:53 am
I’m more interested in a hair of the dog, thanks.
June 22, 2012 at 1:49 pm
I have a whole house full of dog hair for you! It’s white, just like that one.
June 22, 2012 at 9:54 am
Where’s the OOAK? Or are they expecting more “stock” soon?
June 22, 2012 at 10:23 am
I’m surprised the description doesn’t include “Upcycled” or “Reclaimed” in it.
June 22, 2012 at 11:33 am
Or “steampunk”
June 22, 2012 at 11:39 am
or “comfortable and lightweight for your daily use time” as featured in the Iphone case listing in yesterday’s “Derp roundup”
June 22, 2012 at 11:55 am
It’s only steampunk if the assistant was alive in the Victorian era.
June 22, 2012 at 9:56 am
This is GENIUS – with that one grey hair – you can insert it into your meal at a local resturant and get the meal compt to you – just make sure that your hair is any other color but like this hair!!!!
June 22, 2012 at 10:04 am
But it would only work with this hair if you showed up at the restaurant at 430 in the afternoon, ordered tap water and the early bird special, complained about a mysterious draft, and left a four and half percent tip.
June 22, 2012 at 10:20 am
PS – Waiters LOOOOOVE seeing pictures of grandchildren.
June 22, 2012 at 10:21 am
Ordering coffee instead of water would also be acceptable, especially if it’s 90 degrees outside.
June 22, 2012 at 11:49 am
There is an untapped Etsy market for this. If it is strong enough for fishing – why not add Nana to a sampler and always have some part of her to remember. Color choices generally limited to white, grey, purple and blueish
June 22, 2012 at 9:56 am
Ok, this must be the bottom of the barrel, surely, that is being scraped?
(and don’t call me Shirley, I hear you shout!)
June 22, 2012 at 10:33 am
I think we’re well past the bottom of the barrel and digging for China now.
June 22, 2012 at 11:50 am
Considering the preponderance of Chinese resellers, I think we’re on to whatever comes after that.
June 22, 2012 at 12:03 pm
The International Space Station?
June 23, 2012 at 6:34 am
Cthulu.
June 22, 2012 at 9:58 am
I’m thinking that this is really a piece of used dental floss. How did it end up in her employee’s hair? Wanton dental health rituals.
June 22, 2012 at 2:49 pm
HIS employee’s hair, and you really should ask him how he got it LOL.
June 22, 2012 at 9:58 am
I don’t like where this is going. Before you know it, grandmas everywhere are going to get mugged for their hair.
June 22, 2012 at 1:52 pm
Actually, we’re not that far off.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/17/us/17hair.html?pagewanted=all
June 22, 2012 at 9:58 am
…but wait! that’s not all! you can also buy it in combination with THIS…
http://www.etsy.com/listing/76680987/pack-of-10-worms-for-fishing-bait?utm_source=toolsforetsybuyersse&utm_medium=api&utm_campaign=api
…random crappy bits of string…?
June 22, 2012 at 10:46 am
Do you think the seller has ever actually been fishing? Successfully? Fish aren’t THAT stupid.
June 22, 2012 at 12:05 pm
No, didn’t you notice? They are knitted.
June 22, 2012 at 1:06 pm
oh no…looks like they are “croched” too…now we know what happened to that doll.
June 22, 2012 at 9:52 pm
I have obviously been knitting wrong all these years…
June 23, 2012 at 7:57 pm
You and I both. Maybe we can find someone willing to teach us the fine art of “crotching.” And magick.
June 22, 2012 at 9:58 am
Coming to a book store near you – One Shade of Grey – the story of an elderly hairdresser who, late in life, discovers the erotic joy of bondage, fishing, charging a dollar for things, and commenting on Regretsy.
June 22, 2012 at 7:57 pm
Too late! http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=4307
June 22, 2012 at 9:59 am
I should think HK has given the twinkletoes at Etsy enough grey hairs to stock a shop. Or Overstock.com, for that matter.
June 22, 2012 at 9:59 am
Yes. Anything ELSE would be strange.
June 22, 2012 at 10:18 am
I think I need to look up the word ‘strange’ again. Clearly I missed something the first time around that this seller really understood.
June 22, 2012 at 1:15 pm
She only said “anything else would be strange.” That technically doesn’t exclude this from being strange as well.
June 22, 2012 at 10:00 am
Is this another thing like “rainwater” that is needed for people practicing Magick?
June 22, 2012 at 10:01 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 22, 2012 at 11:24 am
skeet skeet skeet
June 22, 2012 at 10:06 am
You gotta be yankin’ me.
June 22, 2012 at 10:20 am
It wasn’t yanked. It turned white and fell off naturally…
June 22, 2012 at 10:54 am
Listen, I’m not going to split hairs with you over this…
June 22, 2012 at 11:10 am
There is absolutely no reason to wig-out over this. Let’s just try to comb through the facts.
June 22, 2012 at 11:32 am
I’m sorry for tressing out, but this whole hairy situation is just plucked.
June 22, 2012 at 11:43 am
I’m just relieved that the details got flat-ironed out; frankly, this seller is really crimping my style.
June 22, 2012 at 11:43 am
I think we just need to brush this whole incident aside.
June 22, 2012 at 12:10 pm
Yeah, stop picking on me, you tease. You know I’m parted on the right.
June 22, 2012 at 12:55 pm
Stop, you guys! I’m dying over here!
June 22, 2012 at 1:11 pm
I’d like to discuss the highlights of this topic, if anyone’s interested.
June 22, 2012 at 1:28 pm
This is all my follicle. I accessorize.
June 23, 2012 at 8:57 pm
Quit nit-picking. (Ewwww)
June 22, 2012 at 10:12 am
This makes me want to pull my hair out… then list it on Etsy for a modest fee.
June 22, 2012 at 10:15 am
Wasn’t this already featured a few weeks ago? Or did someone just post it in the thread of another weird thing by this same seller? I don’t even know anymore.
June 22, 2012 at 10:17 am
Tursiart, we posted at the same time with the same thought. That makes me feel better about my sanity and diminishing short-term memory.
June 22, 2012 at 10:19 am
Yeah, I know I saw this hair on regretsy a few weeks ago. I’m pretty sure something else from this seller’s shop was being featured, and someone pointed out that everything in the store was weird, with a link to this hair.
June 22, 2012 at 10:25 am
It was an Etsy or Regretsy- Formless Knitting.
http://www.regretsy.com/2012/05/31/etsy-or-regretsy-your-guesses-and-answers-9/
June 22, 2012 at 11:49 am
I almost spit my coffee out when I saw it was the same seller. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any wierder…you get some hippy selling gray hairs.
June 22, 2012 at 12:07 pm
oh, the fact that this is the same seller as the formless knitting…one of the greatest most insane etsy listings so far…just makes me so happy!
June 22, 2012 at 10:26 am
It was in the thread of another weird thing by the same seller.
The formless knitting has been featured before.
I think they had a bunch of boxes that belonged to shop assistant Ana that they were selling, too. Something like, buy one mystery box unopened. It could contain valuable family documents!
I love this store.
June 22, 2012 at 10:30 am
What if Ana has no idea this is happening to her and the shop owner is secretly Etsy-stalking her? Following poor Ana around with a whisk broom and dust pan just hoping she’ll discard something…
June 22, 2012 at 10:58 am
Oh dear, should we call the authorities before something larger than a hair shows up for sale? Like a finger?
June 22, 2012 at 11:00 am
If she has fingers dropping off, then yes, somebody should call somebody.
June 22, 2012 at 11:49 am
Your comment is like fifty times better when I imagine it read by your avatar. He looks genuinely concerned for Ana’s health and well-being.
June 22, 2012 at 2:51 pm
Does un-knit with dirt ring any bells?
June 22, 2012 at 10:15 am
I’m losing my mind. I could have sworn this was posted on Regretsy a few weeks ago. That’s scary.
It’s like my shock when I saw Blake Edwards wheel himself out in a wheelchair on the Emmys one year, when I was POSITIVE I’d read his obituary in the NY Times.
Or when I heard that Jonathan Frid had died a couple months ago when I was also POSITIVE that he’d died 2 years ago.
I need a vacation. :\
June 22, 2012 at 10:16 am
I swear I’ve read this comment before…
June 22, 2012 at 10:18 am
You’re so cruel, Getoffmylawn, so very, very cruel.
..
.
.
.
.
.
What were we talking about??
June 22, 2012 at 10:24 am
I think it had something to do with fly fishing, but I’m not sure…
June 22, 2012 at 11:25 am
Abe Vigoda lives.
June 22, 2012 at 1:16 pm
Fly fishing can be fun if the right guy is wearing the pants.
June 22, 2012 at 1:57 pm
And has worms.
Wait.
June 22, 2012 at 10:18 am
I think the seller was featured an an etsy-or-regretsy for one of their other creations – a large yarn mess half buried in the ground or something.
June 22, 2012 at 10:19 am
Found it! http://www.etsy.com/listing/76647223/formless-knitting
And if it wasn’t, then clearly I am going mad.
June 22, 2012 at 10:20 am
It’s deja vu all over again.
June 22, 2012 at 10:22 am
This is from the same shop that was selling the “formless knitting” masterpiece from this post: http://www.regretsy.com/2012/05/31/etsy-or-regretsy-your-guesses-and-answers-9/
Maybe somebody posted this listing in one of comments!
June 22, 2012 at 12:01 pm
How do you think I felt when I read that Richard Dawson died? I thought he’d croaked years ago. By the way, why no tragicrafting in his honor? It’s a damn shame!
June 22, 2012 at 1:21 pm
You might be confusing it with this “artwork” posted last week. http://www.etsy.com/listing/97542305/move-2-small-10-x-10-abstract-lithograph
Today’s hair is like the negative (for those of us old enough to recall cameras with film) of the “lithograph.”
June 22, 2012 at 10:15 am
Soon to be bought by someone who will be making a “VINTAGE STEAMPUNK WIG.”
June 22, 2012 at 11:33 am
Or planting evidence…
June 22, 2012 at 12:02 pm
I see an upcoming episode of something or other on Discovery ID…
June 22, 2012 at 10:18 am
I’m going to kidnap Robin Williams, get one of those sheep shearing clippers and make a FORTUNE.
June 22, 2012 at 10:27 am
Guys with chest hair turn me on like a freaking light switch, but Robin Williams is three follicles away from being the missing link.
June 22, 2012 at 11:16 am
The man’s a human merkin factory.
June 22, 2012 at 10:18 am
Oh noes! I have a head full of gray hairs, but I color them!!! I’ve ruined their original patina, they just don’t have that kind of value anymore. Dammit! I suppose I could sell my dyed hairs at a discount, say 10 cents each. Any takers? Anyone?
June 22, 2012 at 10:21 am
I wonder how much shipping is on that hair…
June 22, 2012 at 10:30 am
I wouldn’t want toupee much.
June 22, 2012 at 10:44 am
Yeah, but I hear the prices are going to fall.
June 22, 2012 at 11:26 am
She’s merkin a fortune.
June 22, 2012 at 11:37 am
Maybe she could cut some prices, or offer another style?
June 22, 2012 at 12:58 pm
I’d hate to get scalped.
June 22, 2012 at 10:21 am
This is my favorite shop EVER.
June 22, 2012 at 10:21 am
Any time I ever think I would be a complete sell out for artfully photographing various pieces of garbage or lone since not deposited “recyclables” on eloquent white backgrounds… well, someone has to go and top my potential idiocy.
How much do you think I can get for a 25 year old empty Fanta can? The State of Michigan is only willing to offer me 10¢ and that fucker won’t go thru a Tomra machine, so I’m going to have to take it to the service counter…
June 22, 2012 at 10:21 am
It starts with just a hair here and there, Shop Assistant Ana. Watch your back or you’ll end up in a bathtub full of ice and your bedazzled organs repurposed as knickknacks and tchotchkies on the front page.
June 22, 2012 at 10:22 am
I wonder if she ever clips her fingernails in the break room. I’m sure those also have value…
June 22, 2012 at 10:30 am
As do her used tampons, I’m sure. Don’t give the seller ideas, please.
June 22, 2012 at 11:54 am
He’s already moved on to hawking her great-grandparent’s junk.
I wonder if they pay her salary in yarn.
June 22, 2012 at 12:05 pm
Fucking awesome! She’s selling Grandma’s hoard on Etsy.
June 22, 2012 at 12:06 pm
He keeps talking about this “Ana,” yet shows no photos. Perhaps she’s like the mom in “Psycho,” or perhaps she’s (she was) real and we’ll find her, or parts of her, in one of those boxes.
June 22, 2012 at 10:22 am
Maybe it’d be useful planting false evidence at a CSI crime scene? I don’t know. What the fuck would someone buy a Goddamn hair for.
June 22, 2012 at 10:31 am
*adds “husband hair shaver” to list of job titles*
Or would that be “resource manager?”
June 22, 2012 at 10:33 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 22, 2012 at 10:34 am
I’m a little concerned that the seller is also offering surprise boxes full of Ana’s personal items from “great-grandparents onward”. Ancestral scalps, perhaps?
June 22, 2012 at 10:35 am
When I buy body parts I prefer not to know the name of the person they came from… in general.
June 22, 2012 at 11:55 am
It just complicates things.
June 22, 2012 at 10:40 am
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SOMEBODY PLEASE BUY THE MYSTERY BOX. I MUST KNOW WHAT IT CONTAINS.
June 22, 2012 at 11:54 am
What’s in the box? WHAT’S IN THE BOX? aaand….scene.
June 22, 2012 at 1:08 pm
There was some hair in the box and…
June 22, 2012 at 11:58 am
Just think, if each of us donates $1 to the ‘Mystery Box Fund’ instead of wasting it on single gray hairs we could probably buy like 6 mystery boxes!
June 22, 2012 at 2:56 pm
it won’t help … there are many of them…
June 22, 2012 at 10:41 am
I bet if she really put her mind to it, she could find enough hairs in shapes to make all the letters of the alphabet. Nursery decor!
June 22, 2012 at 10:43 am
Carry one with you every time you go to a restaurant, and you’ll never have to pay!
June 22, 2012 at 11:21 am
Whenever I go to the hairdresser, I usually end up feeling a little strange that a part of myself has ended up in somebody’s bin. All these years I could have been flogging it a strand at a time on etsy!
June 22, 2012 at 11:27 am
I need one whose length is 3″ longer than the circumference of my weenus.
Science project.
June 22, 2012 at 11:56 am
In a pinch, you could use dental floss.
June 22, 2012 at 11:46 am
Oh noes! I have a head full of gray hairs but I color them!!! I’ve totally ruined their original patina now, they aren’t worth nearly as much. I think I can still get ten cents per dyed hair. Any takers? Anyone? They come in a lovely unnatural shade of red.
June 22, 2012 at 11:48 am
OK so my posts are not showing up. If you guys see almost the same post from me twice, it’s because it hasn’t shown up for me. Anyway, so long and thanks for all the fish.
June 22, 2012 at 1:05 pm
Don’t panic! We’re seeing them.
June 22, 2012 at 2:06 pm
It’s bizarre I’m not but hey, life is weird XD
June 22, 2012 at 12:04 pm
So, the hair costs a dollar. But how much for shipping and handling? How will it be packaged? One must take care with such a rare treasure.
June 22, 2012 at 12:08 pm
I thought for sure that the description would give us all the ways the hair could be used for magik (or however the hell they spell it).
“This hair may be used in divinnne spells of great power to increase the thickness of your underarm hair!!! It can also be used to summon the goddess of folicls 4 those who want a thick main.”
June 22, 2012 at 12:19 pm
I’m losing my mind. I could have sworn this was posted on Regretsy a few weeks ago. That’s scary.
It’s like my shock when I saw Blake Edwards wheel himself out in a wheelchair on the Emmys one year, when I was POSITIVE I’d read his obituary in the NY Times.
Or when I heard that Jonathan Frid had died a couple months ago when I was also POSITIVE that he’d died 2 years ago.
I need a vacation. :\
June 22, 2012 at 12:39 pm
That’s my favorite so far.
June 22, 2012 at 1:07 pm
I see dead people – who aren’t.
June 22, 2012 at 1:21 pm
I could swear that I read this exact same post somewhere else!
This is very spooky.
June 22, 2012 at 2:12 pm
No, no, you have to say it like my kid says it! it’s the only way to say that word now: spooOOOoooky (twiddling fingers in the air)
June 22, 2012 at 12:25 pm
It’s not just “here’s a hair I’m selling”, it’s “here’s a hair from my assistant I’m selling”.
I’m wondering what Ana gets out of this. A 50 cent cut of the action, maybe? Shouldn’t she get the whole dollar, though, since it’s her hair?
Just to show how disturbed my thoughts run: Does she even know this is happening? I’d be upset if people were selling parts of me without my knowledge. If I worked at a store and the manager seemed really eager to brush my hair I think I’d balk.
Or maybe she’s finding it on the floor and assuming it’s Ana’s hair. From her head. Hmm.
(This is why collectibles come with those certificates of authenticity…)
June 22, 2012 at 12:47 pm
Let’s not split hairs over this.
June 22, 2012 at 3:58 pm
It takes two to tangle.
June 22, 2012 at 1:05 pm
And what if a follicle is attached and we could clone Ana without her ever knowing
June 23, 2012 at 6:16 am
Yeah, but Ana Ng and I are getting old…
June 23, 2012 at 6:42 am
And we still haven’t walked in the glow of each other’s majestic presence! Goddamn it. At least I’ll be able to clone her so that I can walk in the glow of her non-grey-haired cloney presence.
June 22, 2012 at 12:38 pm
At first, after seeing the ragged gray hair and the steamer trunk in the background, I thought this might be my grandma. But then I realized that a) my grandma doesn’t have seizure-inducing linoleum in her kitchen, b) it would look suspicious in relation to the canned food she often sells, c) she doesn’t know how to use either a camera or a computer, and d) she has a lick of goddamned sense…
June 22, 2012 at 12:55 pm
Is that Ana in the bottom left corner, being surreptitiously photographed?
June 22, 2012 at 12:55 pm
By which I mean bottom right…
June 22, 2012 at 1:42 pm
I’d ask why, but if Regretsy has taught me anything it’s that I NEVER want to know why.
The other thing Regretsy has taught me is that I only ever want to know where the tequila and Xanax are!
June 22, 2012 at 1:43 pm
Crap. Apparently I’ve been in the tequila and didn’t even realize it. Massive apologies for that HTML failure!
June 22, 2012 at 3:03 pm
This was her assistant’s hair. That makes this a collective.
June 22, 2012 at 3:54 pm
I read Regresty faithfully, but every now and then the sheer audacity of these Etsy sellers makes me temporarily hate mankind. Well done, grey hair seller.
June 22, 2012 at 10:09 pm
Of course I had to check his shop to see if anyone bought this stuff. If he had more sales than me, my head would’ve started spinning as I chucked all of my stock and yarn of the balcony…
June 23, 2012 at 12:10 am
This really, really makes me want to crack open the Japanese plum wine sat on top of the fridge and start swilling. And I have no idea what plum wine is like, either- this listing just compels me towards booze.
June 23, 2012 at 12:50 am
Welp. There it goes. My ability to be surprised by anything on Etsy just flew the fuck away.
June 23, 2012 at 5:51 am
Knee Scabs for Sale:
Got the munchies for epidermal crunchies? 3 fingernail-size, patella-terroir bio-snacks. £10 the lot, £30 for pick your own
June 23, 2012 at 6:45 am
My great-grandmother just died. If I’d seen this earlier, I could have been making a lot of money off of her. Alas, at this point, I think grave-robbing would be too creepy for me.
June 23, 2012 at 7:23 pm
What do you think long grey chin-hair goes for? From an Native American Earth/Sky Wombyn, but probably loaded with useful and tasty beer-yeast. Email with offers.
June 23, 2012 at 11:18 pm
Lucky my hairdresser doesn’t charge by the white hair for dye jobs. It would get dearer every retouch…
June 24, 2012 at 11:25 am
I wasn’t gonna buy the hair, but when I saw it was from Ana, the shop assistant, I knew I just had to have it…