FROM THE MAILBAG
This came through my facebook feed and seemed relevant to your interests.
- Stacy
Dear Helen,
I happened to spot this at a local flea market. I know your love of creepy Star Trek items so I thought this painting might interest you. Cheers!
Candice
April,
I can’t thank you enough for this post. Please see that attached photo of the portrait painted by Ruth Marcus and my cat, Inca. Where would society be without art of this caliber?
Cheers!
Amber
Hi April,
I saw your posting of the lady making custom pet portraits with celebrities of your choice and I couldn’t get my credit card out fast enough.
This is Sebastian posing with Barbra Streisand:
These are my bunnies being lovingly cradled by Whoopi:
The pets are all thrilled with their hand drawn likenesses, and are celebrating by eating the same flavorless kibble they’ve been eating all their lives.
Cathy
Dear Miss. Killer,
I saw the attached error page on a wholesale dress website. I’ve attached a screenshot for your enjoyment.
I thought it was deliciously ironic that one of the very sites which may be supplying the Etsy reseller pandemic saw fit to rip off one of their images and give them no credit. It made my cynical day.
Much love
xxx
I actually liked the pair of turd earrings you posted the other day. But after several attempts to access Etsy’s check out I gave up.
I’m usually a very patient person but when I want to make a spontaneous purchase and Etsy keeps trying to make Facebook do things in order for it to happen… well, you can see the result in the photo I attached.
Thanks for listening. Or not. Whatever.
Hi April,
I know how much you love Brace from Gigolos, so I thought of you when I found the attached image.
It’s an action figure of Dr Claw from the old Inspector Gadget cartoon and I thought it looked like Brace. Like…a lot.
Jessica
Dear Helen,
I am a long time fan of your site and have read your posts about Showtime’s Gigolos. Interestingly, I had the pleasure of going through junior and senior high school with none other than “Vin,” who grew up here in the crappy 909 right along with me (see attached on the badly scanned 1991 7th grade Jr. High yearbook picture).
Keep on you jealous fat loser!
So I hired the viking hat lady to make me something.
ooohhh yeahhh
I really want to show you the new bumpersticker on my Winnebago.
- Tressie
Namaste Bitches bumperstickers and other useless crapola now available in our Zazzle store – HK
June 22, 2012 at 4:34 pm
This is the perfect way to end a Friday.
This, and the falafel I’m about to eat and the numerous beers I’m about to drink. Hell yes. Happy weekend, everyone.
June 22, 2012 at 4:44 pm
Falafel and beer make my bathroom look like the poop post from the other day.
June 22, 2012 at 4:53 pm
Normally, I’d be jealous of your falafel and beer, but I’m actually eating something even better for dinner tonight.
June 22, 2012 at 5:30 pm
Well, clearly someone is covetous of my delectable coconut shrimp and rum marmalade.
June 22, 2012 at 4:34 pm
whenever I see a “from the mailbag” post, I squeal in delight.
June 22, 2012 at 6:22 pm
Me too!
June 22, 2012 at 4:37 pm
The celeb drawings are kind of cool but Whoopi looks like she’s been taking those Michael Jackson bleaching pills in the last one. (They are unfortunately a real product)
June 22, 2012 at 5:26 pm
I think if she had painted Whoopi darker using water colours, it would look strange. If the portrait had been in oils, it would have been easier to do the skin tone right.
I think it’s awesome.
June 22, 2012 at 5:31 pm
I agree, I love the Whoopi one the best. Her face is just
June 23, 2012 at 5:47 pm
As a person born pasty white, why in hell’s half acre would anyone take bleaching pills? Pasty skin is soooo sensitive! I pluck an eyebrow hair and have to go on antibiotics – it’s ridiculous! And nevermind walking from my apartment to my car and from my car to the office, that calls for an application of SPF 80 twice per day! I can’t imagine how much worse it would be if I didn’t have freckles.
June 22, 2012 at 4:39 pm
Etsy quit using that image this week. Coincidence?
June 22, 2012 at 9:37 pm
They resold it to the resellers?
June 22, 2012 at 4:40 pm
Dear “unicron” lady. In a parallel universe where I’m single, you are my IDEAL LIFE PARTNER.
OH YEAH, SHAKE A TAIL FEATHER.
June 22, 2012 at 4:45 pm
I’m so all over that viking hat/human feedbag…
June 22, 2012 at 4:51 pm
I wish I got the emails that april gets. well, just the good ones, like these.
June 22, 2012 at 4:56 pm
I love the celebrity with pet portraits, but I’m curious why these three paintings look like they were made by two totally different artists?
June 22, 2012 at 5:25 pm
Because she’s using two different mediums – the first one is in oil and the other two are water colour. If you look, you’ll see that the first one (don’t know who that guy is, I don’t live in the US) and Whoopi have similar drawn facial characteristics.
June 22, 2012 at 5:35 pm
I get that it’s two different mediums. The style still looks totally different to me.
Also, that guy in the first pic is Stephen Colbert.
June 22, 2012 at 5:28 pm
Maybe she’s had more practice with her Whoopis and her Streisands than her Colberts.
June 22, 2012 at 5:41 pm
She did a really good job with Whoopi and Colbert actually. They are very good likenesses. I immediately recognized who they were.
I can’t say the same about Streisand though. I mean, it’s a nice illustration but it just doesn’t look anything like her.
Portraits of *specific* people are tough though. I’d say they are more challenging to paint then most other subject matter.
June 23, 2012 at 12:35 am
Yeah, the Whoopi one was quite good. I may even dare to say that them all are much better than the one shown in the original regretsy post.
June 23, 2012 at 6:51 pm
I think the Streisand one looks just like a young Streisand.
June 22, 2012 at 6:11 pm
Because the cat helped paint the first one. Seriously, read the message for that one again.
June 22, 2012 at 4:56 pm
Vin is wearing braces in that picture!!! And his teeth are still fucked up…
June 22, 2012 at 8:27 pm
Someone didn’t wear their retainer.
June 22, 2012 at 5:03 pm
When Helen originally posted the story about the custom pet celebrity portraits I wasn’t really that excited by the idea, and then today I saw this: “RESERVED for Mike Cessario – watercolor of dog with Predator”. Just let that sink in and consider how completely awesome that will. Mike, I hope you’re out there because I can’t wait to see that.
June 28, 2012 at 12:40 pm
Me either! I wonder what kind of dog it is?
June 22, 2012 at 5:09 pm
I had something really witty to write, but then I got to the floral print sundress and the arm full of tats and the calculator watch and I can think of nothing else.
That picture presses buttons I didn’t know I had.
June 22, 2012 at 5:23 pm
I’ve had a horrible week, the details of which I will share so you understand just how badly I needed this laugh today:
I found out my youngest needs surgery to correct his lazy eye before it does neurological damage to him on Saturday.
My younger brother’s wife had a stroke on Sunday.
I massively failed a glaucoma test on Monday.
Pretty much spent Tuesday learning far more than was good for me about glaucoma and my son’s pending muscular resectioning (see #1 above).
I just turned 44 on Wednesday.
Found out hubby will NOT be getting a raise this year, after all, on Thursday.
Refused to leave the fucking house at all today (Friday) because knowing my luck, it’d explode or something.
So.. thanks for the laugh, it is muchly appreciated. Espcially enjoyed the forgotten password shot.
June 22, 2012 at 5:53 pm
Look at the bright side pagan chick – you no qualify for medical marijuana in several states! Laugh on…..
June 22, 2012 at 5:59 pm
Yeah, but we don’t have that option here in Texas
June 22, 2012 at 8:47 pm
Hey PaganChick, is there anything we can do for you then? I’m a Texan, from Azle then Denton(now in Austin) and UNT alum… GO MEAN GREEN… umm, I have friends up there in care networks and support groups, plus I’m sure I know people with an organic trusted pot dealer if you need one. Just sayin. Let us know here or elsewhere what we can do to help. Seriously, Texans have to have each other’s backs, God(dess) knows the gubberment won’t do crap…
June 23, 2012 at 7:25 am
I am in Texas, as well. I live in a little town in East Texas called Palestine. I would love to be able to help, if I can. Just let me know what you need.
June 23, 2012 at 10:37 pm
Dad’s been stoned since the 60′s, so I’m not inclined to follow in his footsteps, esp. as I’d probably get busted for possession, with the luck I’ve been having.
Priority, as always, is Darius. Gotta figure out the cost of his eye surgery, then how much the insurance will cover, then find the cash to pay for it. After that, I can worry about finding money to pay for the stupid eyedrops I need. Hoping there’s a generic.
On a related note, if anyone knows of a holistic or OTC (i.e. cheap) treatment, please let me know. becka(at)thatpaganchick(dot)com
June 22, 2012 at 8:55 pm
I hope next week brings you rainbows and unicorns and cupcakes. For real! (Maybe the medical mary jane will help with that…) Hang in there!
June 23, 2012 at 7:23 am
PaganChick,
So sorry about your week. To further the laughs here is a pic of my mom when I had her model the unicorn hat. Looks worried doesn’t she? Or maybe the word I am looking for is skittish?
June 23, 2012 at 7:25 am
ugh lost the pic in the post it’s here
http://i.imgur.com/WnVoH.jpg?1
June 23, 2012 at 9:00 am
I love that you have a calculator watch.
June 24, 2012 at 8:15 am
Oh sorry, I am the Viking hat lady not the unicorn lady. Personally I love that dress and those tats. The calculator watch is just the cherry on top!
June 22, 2012 at 5:39 pm
I wonder if fuckyouetsy@google is taken?
June 22, 2012 at 5:44 pm
I’m picturing Brace utilizing that Claw, and shuddering.
June 22, 2012 at 6:11 pm
Really, how could that be worse?
June 22, 2012 at 5:44 pm
Cannot stop giggling at the thought of Cathy’s bunnies celebrating with flavourless kibble. Cathy, you funny fucker.
June 22, 2012 at 8:56 pm
That was my favorite part, too.
June 22, 2012 at 5:57 pm
That Borg mask is amazeballs…I wish I could knit that well!
June 22, 2012 at 6:10 pm
I love how it’s neatly arranged next to the Keurig and rice cooker.
June 22, 2012 at 6:38 pm
Friday fuckery funneling for fun!
June 22, 2012 at 6:57 pm
So how do I get a bumper sticker that says:
Mozel Tov, Mutherfucker.
Because I would by all of them. Outright.
June 22, 2012 at 7:59 pm
I wonder just how many of us now have to change our Etsy password from “fuck you in the goatse hole etsy” to something else now?
June 22, 2012 at 8:34 pm
.shit needs to be a top-level domain.
June 22, 2012 at 11:25 pm
That would be great. I would take almost anything @myass.shit for an email address.
June 22, 2012 at 8:04 pm
Now THIS is the way to end a week! Still we are hoping someone can paint this picture of Hairy McSpecies during one of our previous product brainstorming sessions.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mixedspecies/2566882260
Regretsy. Thank you for giving us hope. Hope that the end is near.
-the Mixed Species guys-
June 22, 2012 at 8:23 pm
Whatever happened to that celebrity phone call to Brace? Did that ever occur?
June 24, 2012 at 12:39 am
I don’t know, but his rates have gone down: http://www.braceland.tv/collections/accessories/products/half-hour-chat-with-brace
June 22, 2012 at 8:57 pm
Ahhhhh…the only thing better than a Friday Night Mailbag is a Friday Night Butthurt with Flounce Cats.
June 22, 2012 at 9:32 pm
The night is young!
June 22, 2012 at 11:51 pm
HKpril’s inbox is full of awesome. Take that however you like.
June 23, 2012 at 5:36 am
I want the Borg mask.
hoping for a better week to come your way PaganChick
June 23, 2012 at 8:55 am
Apropos of nothing, but this Cake Wrecks post screams Regretsy: http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2012/6/20/meanwhile-at-the-unintentionally-erotic-bakery.html. (Unintentionally NSFW.)
June 24, 2012 at 2:38 am
I post such stuff over at the regretsy forums. Often, lively discussion ensues.
June 24, 2012 at 2:14 pm
That knitted Borg hat is AMAZING. I was going to buy the giant viking beard mask for my friend for Christmas, but I think I am going to upgrade to the Borg hat instead. Or perhaps I need to buy them both and combine them – the Borg Viking. All your beards will be assimilated.
June 26, 2012 at 10:36 am
I’m just weirded out by the fact that the Dr. Claw figure has a face to begin with. The whole idea on the show was that you never saw his face, it was left up to your imagination. So every kid thought he was the most evil looking guy around. Not some white haired normal looking guy. The movie screwed this up too, but the figure is obviously based on the cartoon, cause he didn’t have the big gauntlet in the movie, just a lame pincer.