This would make the perfect candy bowl to fill with little (unwrapped) treats and present to houseguests you want to leave. $10 to evacuate your in-laws in a hurry? Bargain son.
Once I ran to you
Now I run from you
This tainted bowl you’ve posted
I can’t be-lieve “Etsy” hosted
Take this bowl and shove it up your….OH
Tainted bowl….
I don’t know if it’s a marketable skill, but the apparent ability to “aim” diarrhea at the bowl without getting any on the tablecloth underneath deserves kudos of some sort.
Better that it happens so early in your Regretsy life. The longer it takes to be thumbed down, the greater the inflated sense of acceptance you have, which makes swirling down the bowl, so to speak, that much more painful and humiliating.
Don’t misunderstand–being thumbed down doesn’t mean you’re going to be exiled. You’re not a troll…or if you are one, you’ve a cunning plan of appearing NOT to be a troll, so we trust you and then, when our guards are down (and they frequently are, because alcohol is so cheap in Regretsyland, which is why WE are usually drunk as well), you’ll attack us with evil trollness.
Is there something wrong with me, when I see the phrase “Use your imagination.” I just image myself giving the bowl to someone with OCD, and then watch as they try to clean it?
Step 1: Sneak bowl into someone’s potluck party and leave it behind when you go.
Step 2: Call them the next day and ask if they found a white bowl that had bean dip in it. Family heirloom etc.
Step 3: Wait a few days and…
Step 4: Meet them and make them tell you how many times it went through the dishwasher and/or what ungodly concoctions of cleansers they tried on it.
Step 6: Pick up bowl shards / Remove bowl shards from head.
Considering that public figures like Stephen Colbert and Secretary Clinton sometimes say “Jew” with the same tone of voice one might say “crazy devil worshiper,” the mistake is fairly understandable.
June 21, 2012 at 9:31 am
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June 21, 2012 at 10:43 am
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June 21, 2012 at 10:55 am
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June 21, 2012 at 4:06 pm
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June 21, 2012 at 9:32 am
Shart in a bowl.
June 21, 2012 at 9:40 am
“Shart Attack”: You could fill it with water, and float a tiny plastic shark fin in it.
June 21, 2012 at 9:59 am
It’s for shart week.
June 21, 2012 at 10:10 am
I can’t wait for Shart Week. I’ve already got plastic on all the furniture.
June 21, 2012 at 9:33 am
“Perfect for holding chips n’ dip”.
Can you imagine getting the last bit o’ dip on your chip and seeing the bottom of that bowl for the first time at a party?
June 21, 2012 at 9:34 am
The stains on the bowl testify to that.
June 21, 2012 at 9:54 am
It’s that perfect gift to give to the in-law you can’t stand………..
June 21, 2012 at 11:53 am
Or to particularly persistent guests who WON’T LEAVE!
June 21, 2012 at 4:02 pm
Preemptive pass on that dip for me thanks.
June 21, 2012 at 9:33 am
Oh, I’m using my imagination, alright.
June 21, 2012 at 11:24 am
It doesn’t take much imagination to realize that it would make a good bedpan.
June 21, 2012 at 9:34 am
Sorry,but If I use my imagination, I’m going to think you squirted diarrhea into a bowl and passed it off as art.
June 21, 2012 at 10:10 am
I misread your comment as “pissed it off as art.” Which is a good guess, too.
June 21, 2012 at 2:09 pm
I read your comment as “ass art.” Woo! Reminds me of the guy who squirts paint out of his ass.
June 21, 2012 at 9:34 am
toilet bowl’s more like it…..
June 21, 2012 at 11:08 am
a bowel bowl!
June 21, 2012 at 12:30 pm
The Bowel Bowl is the least popular college football game.
June 21, 2012 at 12:36 pm
That takes place in Hershey, PA, right?
June 21, 2012 at 1:34 pm
(In my best Ed McMahon impersonation)…
Hey-yo!
June 21, 2012 at 9:35 am
I’m guessing the previous owner wat the guy that shoots paint out of his ass in his artistic ability?
June 21, 2012 at 9:49 am
was*
June 21, 2012 at 9:36 am
A bowl to hold your Hershey squirts, I mean kisses.
(Damn, I almost typed bowel instead of bowl)
June 21, 2012 at 10:13 am
The whole problem with Hershey squirts is keeping them IN the bowel.
June 21, 2012 at 12:30 pm
Similar problem with Hershey kisses but for a very different reason.
June 21, 2012 at 9:36 am
I think it would be great to fill that bowl with Band Aids and other sterile items in the bathroom.
June 21, 2012 at 9:38 am
yup, yay a cotton ball storage bowel
June 21, 2012 at 9:38 am
make a perfect “brown gravy” boat…
June 21, 2012 at 9:38 am
If that bowl was like half full of mayonnaise, it would be the single grossest thing I have ever seen in my life.
June 21, 2012 at 10:23 am
thank you SO MUCH for that visualization. Really.
June 21, 2012 at 10:30 am
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June 21, 2012 at 10:44 am
haha I’ll take that as a “no”.
June 21, 2012 at 4:06 pm
I don’t know you well enough to comment on the “charming” part, but I do at least admire your persistence.
June 21, 2012 at 9:40 am
Um… but I’m trying NOT to use my imagination.
June 21, 2012 at 10:01 am
They might not have meant our imaginations, probably meant the cupcake’s imagination.
June 21, 2012 at 9:41 am
Irritable Bowl Syndrome.
June 21, 2012 at 4:28 pm
GODDAMNIT YOU BEAT ME TO THE SHIT WIT
June 21, 2012 at 9:43 am
This would make the perfect candy bowl to fill with little (unwrapped) treats and present to houseguests you want to leave. $10 to evacuate your in-laws in a hurry? Bargain son.
June 21, 2012 at 4:17 pm
Looks like the in-laws already evacuated, so to speak…
June 21, 2012 at 9:43 am
Finally! The perfect serving dish for Blue Raspberry Jello!
Can I get a miniature Marzipan Man in a Rowboat for the surface?
June 21, 2012 at 9:44 am
HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW?
Seriously! How could anyone make that, look at it and NOT think that it looked like the remnants after a night of food poisoning?
June 21, 2012 at 10:02 am
I see they don’t want it in their house, I say they do know.
June 21, 2012 at 9:44 am
In the artist’s defense, you wouldn’t believe how hard it is to glaze pottery with feces. Looks easy, but isn’t at all.
June 21, 2012 at 9:45 am
Putting my loose change in this bowl would definitely keep my kids from stealing it so yes, it would be perfect for that!
June 21, 2012 at 9:45 am
just “taint” right at all!
June 21, 2012 at 9:45 am
Time to break out the Clorox.
June 21, 2012 at 9:49 am
If I had a friend who was really hungover, I would love to give him/her some chicken soup in that bowl. Mean? Yes. Awesome? Yes, too.
June 21, 2012 at 9:55 am
A semi-clear soup in this bowl is a genius prank. I’m willing to bet this will sell today with all the nifty ideas we’re coming up with for it.
June 21, 2012 at 9:58 am
Agreed, crispyduck13.
June 21, 2012 at 9:49 am
Chapel White.
You go to a shitty church, man.
June 21, 2012 at 10:05 am
Offering plate! Thanks for helping me use my imagination, you fucking rock!
June 21, 2012 at 9:51 am
Somebody REALLY hates bowls.
June 21, 2012 at 10:05 am
Somebody is making us hate bowls too.
June 21, 2012 at 9:52 am
I would keep all of my e.coli in that bowl.
June 21, 2012 at 9:54 am
I’m assuming they mean cow chips and sheep dip.
June 21, 2012 at 9:56 am
Oh, and diaper change. Still not sure what paper clips have to do with feces.
June 21, 2012 at 9:55 am
Once I ran to you
Now I run from you
This tainted bowl you’ve posted
I can’t be-lieve “Etsy” hosted
Take this bowl and shove it up your….OH
Tainted bowl….
June 21, 2012 at 9:59 am
I had that song running in my head immediately, too.
June 21, 2012 at 12:04 pm
Don’t touch me please
Take that bowl away you skeeze
Why you even made that I don’t know
but I’m going to take my chips and go
June 21, 2012 at 5:26 pm
I laughed so hard at your comment that I nearly created the same pattern in my shorts.
June 21, 2012 at 10:01 am
A tattoo artist could keep his needles in that bowl.
June 21, 2012 at 10:07 am
I don’t know if it’s a marketable skill, but the apparent ability to “aim” diarrhea at the bowl without getting any on the tablecloth underneath deserves kudos of some sort.
June 21, 2012 at 10:17 am
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June 21, 2012 at 10:26 am
I don’t even know if I would use it as drainage for a flower pot after smashing it into shards.
June 21, 2012 at 10:27 am
You always seem to post these things around lunchtime on the east coast, too. Thanks for helping all us eastern FJL stick to our diets.
June 21, 2012 at 10:41 am
It’s morning here on the west coast.
And I’m sitting here with a chocolate filled croissant.
June 21, 2012 at 10:44 am
White plate?
June 21, 2012 at 11:23 am
Not anymore…
June 21, 2012 at 10:42 am
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June 21, 2012 at 10:45 am
Taco Bell isn’t real Mexican.
June 21, 2012 at 10:48 am
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June 21, 2012 at 12:28 pm
Matt, you are not getting the love today.
June 21, 2012 at 12:40 pm
Good thing my ego is so overinflated, you know? Otherwise, this would hurt my feelings.
June 21, 2012 at 1:05 pm
Yup, no love.
You can’t win ‘em all, Helen…
June 21, 2012 at 1:07 pm
Better that it happens so early in your Regretsy life. The longer it takes to be thumbed down, the greater the inflated sense of acceptance you have, which makes swirling down the bowl, so to speak, that much more painful and humiliating.
June 21, 2012 at 1:12 pm
Well, I had a good run for two or three days. Can’t complain about that. Good luck, guys!
June 21, 2012 at 1:32 pm
Don’t misunderstand–being thumbed down doesn’t mean you’re going to be exiled. You’re not a troll…or if you are one, you’ve a cunning plan of appearing NOT to be a troll, so we trust you and then, when our guards are down (and they frequently are, because alcohol is so cheap in Regretsyland, which is why WE are usually drunk as well), you’ll attack us with evil trollness.
Don’t look at me like that–it could happen!
June 21, 2012 at 6:47 pm
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June 21, 2012 at 12:46 pm
…and I thought that was a good one, too. Unless someone thought I was cutting on Mexicans or something, which I wasn’t.
June 21, 2012 at 1:15 pm
But I do admire his tenacity to just keep trucking along without a complaint. So I’m giving him the mercy thumbs up.
June 21, 2012 at 6:47 pm
thx
June 21, 2012 at 2:01 pm
I’ve seen the Taco Bell/Pizza Hut/KFC places, but didn’t know they combo’d with a dry cleaners.
Or a Chinese laundry. Egg roll to go?
June 21, 2012 at 4:29 pm
You must be really busy today.
June 21, 2012 at 6:48 pm
thank you.
June 21, 2012 at 10:46 am
With the “Tainted” bit in the title, I think the artist did this on purpose to draw comments and interest. That’s right, I’m calling bowlshart.
June 21, 2012 at 11:03 am
Is there something wrong with me, when I see the phrase “Use your imagination.” I just image myself giving the bowl to someone with OCD, and then watch as they try to clean it?
June 21, 2012 at 11:07 am
In the movie “the last emperor” they used this bowl to examine his droppings.
A BOWL FIT FOR AN EMPEROR
June 21, 2012 at 11:14 am
Can I get a whole set to use at my next dinner party?
June 21, 2012 at 11:31 am
Somebody really hates pottery.
June 21, 2012 at 12:00 pm
It’s me, and maybe the seller too.
June 21, 2012 at 11:39 am
You could serve corn in it.
June 21, 2012 at 11:54 am
I could totally see this at Bedpan Bathroom & Beyond.
June 21, 2012 at 12:08 pm
Oh, man. I wish I had said “Behind”. Doh!
June 21, 2012 at 12:02 pm
“Use your imagination.” But… I’m afraid of what my imagination will come up with when I look at that. It can’t be good.
June 21, 2012 at 12:41 pm
Step 1: Sneak bowl into someone’s potluck party and leave it behind when you go.
Step 2: Call them the next day and ask if they found a white bowl that had bean dip in it. Family heirloom etc.
Step 3: Wait a few days and…
Step 4: Meet them and make them tell you how many times it went through the dishwasher and/or what ungodly concoctions of cleansers they tried on it.
Step 6: Pick up bowl shards / Remove bowl shards from head.
June 21, 2012 at 12:46 pm
When dining in Beef Country, do NOT order Pork dishes.
June 21, 2012 at 12:52 pm
I have soiled
The bowl
That was on
The counter
And which
You were probably
Selling
On etsy
Forgive me
It was
So tidy
And so white
June 21, 2012 at 3:27 pm
Best. Comment. Ever! WCW FTW!
June 21, 2012 at 12:58 pm
Does it come in scratch n sniff?
June 21, 2012 at 1:40 pm
It looks like it would make a perfect joke bowl.
“WTF did I just eat!?”
“I just can’t take out these stains!”
June 21, 2012 at 1:40 pm
Perfect gift for the OCD friend you don’t like.
June 21, 2012 at 2:53 pm
Don’t explicitly give the shart bowl to that OCD friend.
Just sneak it in with the clean dishes, in the bowl stack among the other bowls. Then ask for something that requires a bowl.
June 21, 2012 at 1:53 pm
I am using my imagination, that’s the problem
June 21, 2012 at 1:55 pm
It looks like someone used it for a shield while reenacting a sword fight from Spartacus, but with turds for swords.
June 21, 2012 at 2:04 pm
I’m seeing it filled with Christmas candy, and a Mr. Hanky in there….”Howdy Ho”
June 21, 2012 at 2:10 pm
Shit! I know! I’ll use it to serve Sliders (White Castle) at my next house party. Damn it, now I want it.
June 21, 2012 at 2:13 pm
Well who’d have thought it – chamber pots are still in use in Livonia, Michigan
June 21, 2012 at 3:28 pm
Imagine what the floor looks like.
June 21, 2012 at 6:04 pm
Boyhowdy, I know whenever I’m searching for a vessel for comestibles, I reach directly for something described as “tainted”.
June 21, 2012 at 6:04 pm
And if it’s Chapel White, does that make it Holy Shi- OW OW OW DON’T HIT!
June 22, 2012 at 12:40 pm
Considering that public figures like Stephen Colbert and Secretary Clinton sometimes say “Jew” with the same tone of voice one might say “crazy devil worshiper,” the mistake is fairly understandable.
June 22, 2012 at 12:42 pm
And of course, I posted this in the wrong section. Please ignore!
June 23, 2012 at 5:00 pm
Great gift for the person who cooks like shit!