This painting would look great in a nursery, to foster values in the developing child mind. Too bad this seller is discriminatory against art loving computers.
I was just thinking I should have it printed on a shirt so my students would listen! Apparently the scalpels, probes, and hazardous chemicals aren’t sending the message as directly as this might. But these kids are significantly older than 10 (college) so they probably are not quite as impressionable.
I like this.
It’s not badly done, as many have been.
Well, no it’s not a Titian, but better than average.
It is a nightmare, really,
 and it makes me think.
here is a note i received from the painter after i told him about regretsy. he seems to be really nice, actually:
…………………..
Thank you so much, I don’t know a lot about these cites as I spend most of my time painting is there any way you could tell everyone that the name of the painting is “beati i malati”?
…………………..
so consider it done. i did invite him here, unsure if he will arrive however.
I can’t tell weather the guy on the table is wearing some kind of fetish gear or if that is supposed to be the shadow of the phallic-like object that is about to skullfuck him. Either way I think I am about to use my safeword.
You know, only in Washington would you find something like that. Along with humping llamas on a farm near the highway and DMB fans throwing up on the side of the road.
My sinuses cleared up dramatically when I stopped eating awesome gourmet italian and french bread, and drinking fine red wine. More than 2 pieces of bread, or a couple glasses of red wine, and my sinuses start up again.
Once I realized I had food sensitivities (not allergies) I began to test what triggered the reaction, and I have been off allergy meds for over 6 months now. I haven’t had an asthma attack in over a year.
If I don’t mind sneezing and maybe getting asthmatic, I’ll get drunk on red wine. But I find that white wine or hard liquor work just fine without triggering the reaction. And I can find crackers that aren’t wheat-based.
So you don’t need to shove a tamping rod into your sinuses. If you’re willing to experiment with your diet, you may discover certain food triggers, which you can then choose to remove or endure.
oh, heavens i wish i ate any of that stuff [i guess sometimes i eat spaghetti, & it's not frozen spaghetti]. i wish i did cos then i would go off it for certain to kill my stupid headaches. or part of them, anyway. i have teeth problems & trigeminal neuralgia [from having had shingles]–anyway i am yakking too much. i’m only doing it, believe it or not, to thank you for at least giving me an idea of what might might might might might help kill some of this head pain.
ps. one has also to know, if one buys a vaporizer, that one is not buying the steamy turtle of one’s youth. theres a whole new world of uses for vaporizers these days.
Good luck! Food sensitivities can be subtle to nail down, but once you do, you can achieve control of the allergy stimulus.
I had to pay close attention to the symptoms and when they appeared. The reaction can be slow – from 10 minutes to hours after I ate the offending item.
By eliminating suspects from my diet one by one, letting them clear my system over a week or so, I was later able to test my hypothesis by reintroducing under controlled circumstances, and determine what items triggered the reaction.
More than a couple slices of Gourmet bread and flour was one; red wine over 2 glasses, another. There may be more, but since my sinuses have cleared, I am not hunting for more culprits. Whatever else I may be sensitive to is apparently not in my regular diet.
believe me, i know regretsy is not the right place for this discussion so i will make it brief. i have a good friend who did the same thing as you did for headaches, in her case for colitis. & she fixed the problem. w/ me it’s even weirder cos–& you would never know by looking–i spend about half my life anorexic. so a lot of the time i hardly eat at all. i’ve actually eaten quite a bit–& quite a bit against my suspect better judgment–to see if all the calorie restriction was causing the problem. no dice. it did make my teeth break into bits, however.
oy vey, i will stop here. as i said, i know regretsy is not for talking about this stuff. i’m just grateful you tried to help me &, of course, very glad you feel better yrself!
Is it strange that I have absolutely no issue with this painting? It’s weird enough to be called art, it’s painted well. It’s interesting enough to warrant discussion, but it’s disturbing enough that I don’t want it in my living room.
Could this be a reference to the biblical story of Jael, a Jewish woman who killed Sisera, the Canaanite commander, by driving a tent stake through his head in his sleep? This is one of those ultra-violent Old Testament stories that’s often represented in classical art. For example: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QgBISROK1E4/T8GqGhPZpQI/AAAAAAAAMKE/zf0SgwlQ994/s1600/Amigoni+2.jpg
Wow, I actually met this guy last month while I was pushing my big red motorcycle around SODO looking for a gas station. He was celebrating having finished it, and showed me pictures of it on his phone.
Hi I’m the painter, I do beleave I remember that. I’m still trying to sell it, although it will likely remain shoved in the corner of my studio for some time still.
I certainly feel words like “normal”‘ or “psychopath” are much too uncivilized, to ever be attributed to the painter. As for “killer” I assure you both men depicted in this work are still quite alive.
June 20, 2012 at 10:04 am
Damn hipsters. Cataract surgery is one of those things that shouldn’t be done “old school”.
June 20, 2012 at 10:09 am
Please close the italic tag!! :O
June 20, 2012 at 10:10 am
Whatcha got against Italians??? Pssh.
June 20, 2012 at 10:17 am
You wrote “Whattsamattayou?” with too many words.
June 20, 2012 at 11:38 am
I didn’t want it to be too obvious. But since my secret’s out, whattsamattayou???
June 20, 2012 at 10:21 am
Yeah! My Mother’s half human, half Italian!
June 20, 2012 at 10:25 am
so many thumbs up for this comment thread
June 21, 2012 at 11:13 am
I actually adore this one.
but I am a bit odd.
June 20, 2012 at 10:05 am
My Grandmother would absolutely LOVE that painting.
June 20, 2012 at 10:52 am
And I love your g-ma. Exquisite taste!
June 20, 2012 at 10:05 am
Hey, at least he’s wearing a surgical mask!
June 20, 2012 at 10:30 am
Yeah, you don’t want to spread germs in this kind of situation.
June 20, 2012 at 10:31 am
That Mengele was a total clean-freak.
June 20, 2012 at 10:39 am
Too soon?
June 20, 2012 at 10:05 am
This painting would look great in a nursery, to foster values in the developing child mind. Too bad this seller is discriminatory against art loving computers.
June 20, 2012 at 10:07 am
Jinx.
June 20, 2012 at 10:10 am
Clearly we have a keen understanding of what children need.
June 20, 2012 at 10:13 am
The restraining order said something to that effect.
June 20, 2012 at 10:06 am
It would look great in the nursery at my sister’s house.
June 20, 2012 at 10:07 am
I don’t get it… a nod to lobotomies? You’re doin’ it wrong.
June 21, 2012 at 11:20 am
trepanation, actually, I think.
June 20, 2012 at 10:08 am
One of Thomas Kincaid’s darker paintings.
June 20, 2012 at 3:59 pm
Oh I get it! He was the ‘painter of light’! I literally sat and stared for a minute wondering why that got such a positive response.
It’s been 39 degrees celcius here for the last 2 days and the A/C in my office isn’t working, ok!?
June 21, 2012 at 4:48 am
Just talk it out, dear….look- we’re gonna get through this, OK? There’s a light at the end of that joke.
June 20, 2012 at 10:08 am
That was the last guy who criticized this artist. BEWARE.
June 20, 2012 at 10:16 am
I’ll be nice…um…got it!
I’m blinded by the artist’s talent!
June 20, 2012 at 10:46 am
That’ll be some cataract he puts in your head.
June 20, 2012 at 4:51 pm
And here I was thinking “This person is local to me, I am going to check to make sure my door’s locked.”
June 20, 2012 at 8:10 pm
Right there with you.
June 20, 2012 at 10:08 am
I think most of the comments he gets will include “WTF, dude?”
Even the comments made by computers.
June 20, 2012 at 2:37 pm
Sometimes
June 20, 2012 at 10:09 am
Good thing there’s a detail shot. It really sells the painting.
June 20, 2012 at 10:11 am
I actually really like this painting. I don’t want to own it, but I like it.
June 20, 2012 at 10:09 am
Oh, they’re in Seattle – I can pick this up in person!
I’ll be sure to yell “Oil Painting!!!!” as I walk up the driveway.
June 20, 2012 at 10:12 am
I’d yell anything just to let the neighbors know you went inside. Eyewitnesses are crucial in this situation.
June 20, 2012 at 10:15 am
We’re helpful!
June 20, 2012 at 10:26 am
Also, “Double Jinx!”
June 20, 2012 at 10:28 am
Some sort of “mind-meld” goin’ on up in here…
June 20, 2012 at 10:13 am
Be sure to also yell to the neighbors that they should call the cops if you’re not out in 15 min.
June 20, 2012 at 2:39 pm
I’ve had this thing laying around in my studio four months, currently of take just about any reasonable offerÂ
June 20, 2012 at 10:09 am
I do believe I’d like to hang this up in my classroom. I think my 10th graders would listen more.
June 20, 2012 at 12:16 pm
I was just thinking I should have it printed on a shirt so my students would listen! Apparently the scalpels, probes, and hazardous chemicals aren’t sending the message as directly as this might. But these kids are significantly older than 10 (college) so they probably are not quite as impressionable.
June 21, 2012 at 2:05 pm
Maybe you could hang up that painting next to some eyeball specimens floating in clear glass jars. That’ll get their attention.
June 20, 2012 at 10:10 am
When I said I wish I had “chiseled features” I didn’t necessarily want you to take action.
June 20, 2012 at 10:11 am
I like this.
It’s not badly done, as many have been.
Well, no it’s not a Titian, but better than average.
It is a nightmare, really,
 and it makes me think.
June 20, 2012 at 10:17 am
It does encourage one to ponder how this situation came about. I have lots of questions.
June 20, 2012 at 10:30 am
A question like: “Could you paint an image if an albino biker chiseling the face of a half naked pro wrestler for me?”
June 20, 2012 at 10:33 am
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve asked that…
June 20, 2012 at 11:27 am
Can the picture also depict the wrestler with his “97% in” face?
June 20, 2012 at 1:19 pm
@petja-herra.
agreed.
i sent the painter a link to regretsy w/ a comment that he’d made the front page. i dont mean to terrify anyone but perhaps he will show up?
June 20, 2012 at 2:01 pm
@ petja-herra [redux].
here is a note i received from the painter after i told him about regretsy. he seems to be really nice, actually:
…………………..
Thank you so much, I don’t know a lot about these cites as I spend most of my time painting is there any way you could tell everyone that the name of the painting is “beati i malati”?
…………………..
so consider it done. i did invite him here, unsure if he will arrive however.
June 20, 2012 at 5:30 pm
“Blessed are the sick”??? I’d rather remain unblessed, thank you very much.
June 20, 2012 at 3:45 pm
It makes me think, “cunt, what the shit?” I think that’s how you say it in Finnish.
June 21, 2012 at 10:01 am
Vittu, mitä paskaa!
June 20, 2012 at 10:13 am
I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a, um, a pry bar in the eye.
(Oh, sorry – “oil painting”)
June 20, 2012 at 10:14 am
I can’t tell weather the guy on the table is wearing some kind of fetish gear or if that is supposed to be the shadow of the phallic-like object that is about to skullfuck him. Either way I think I am about to use my safeword.
June 20, 2012 at 10:18 am
God help you if your safe word is “computer”.
June 20, 2012 at 10:28 am
My safe word is “oil painting”
June 20, 2012 at 10:31 am
Unfortunately, my safe word is “HARDER.”
June 20, 2012 at 10:38 am
You must’ve picked it out of a hat, right?
June 20, 2012 at 12:16 pm
I was wondering the same thing but his arms are not leaving a shadow so Im thinking its like Gimp Gear
June 20, 2012 at 10:16 am
That’s absolutely the most extreme mole/wart removal method I think I’ve ever seen.
June 20, 2012 at 10:16 am
That creeps the shit out of me.
June 20, 2012 at 10:17 am
Well the serial killer gets points for originality I suppose.
Looks like a Rammstein video.
June 20, 2012 at 10:19 am
Is this the first time that an item for sale on craigslist depicts what happens when you answer ads on craigslist?
June 20, 2012 at 10:29 am
Its like ouroboros
June 20, 2012 at 10:24 am
To the person’s credit, the artist’s skills surpass half of the works on etsy.
June 20, 2012 at 2:42 pm
Thank you
June 20, 2012 at 5:00 pm
more than half.
June 20, 2012 at 10:25 am
But were they really “cheekbones to die for”? WERE THEY???
June 20, 2012 at 10:25 am
I was absolutely sure, from the title, that this was going to involve a lot of penises. Helen just keeps on surprising me.
June 20, 2012 at 10:26 am
These cut-price cosmetic surgery clinics just get worse and worse.
June 20, 2012 at 12:11 pm
Yeah, but I have a “get the fifth procedure free” punch card. One more tummy tuck and my butt lift is on them!
June 20, 2012 at 10:35 am
Next time on This Old Hostel, Bob Villa tests Craftman’s newest socket wrench.
June 20, 2012 at 10:35 am
You know, only in Washington would you find something like that. Along with humping llamas on a farm near the highway and DMB fans throwing up on the side of the road.
Oh the memories.
June 20, 2012 at 10:35 am
what a tool!
June 20, 2012 at 10:37 am
Well at least there aren’t 2 more guys in that picture otherwise it might have reminded me of something…oh wait.
June 20, 2012 at 10:40 am
I’m going to email him, but i’m putting “I AM A COMPUTER” as the subject line…
June 20, 2012 at 10:43 am
I spy with my chiseled, left eye… nothing. My right eye sees a wonderful painting.
June 20, 2012 at 10:47 am
OMG it’s almost Phineas Gage! He was a 19th century railroad foreman who survived an explosion that drove a tamping iron through his head.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phineas_Gage
Immortalized in oil, for all to recoil. Go Phineas, Go!
June 20, 2012 at 12:20 pm
We had an entire lecture on Phineas Gage in Neuroanatomy! Crazy story!
June 20, 2012 at 10:49 am
I’m not sure this is what M.C. meant when he declared “It’s Hammer Time!”
June 20, 2012 at 10:52 am
M.C. “Etcher”, maybe?
June 20, 2012 at 10:52 am
I have considered this very thing during hay fever season. Finally, a quick way to empty my sinuses!
June 20, 2012 at 11:05 am
Seriously! I’ve considered this very thing during allergy season. I’ve also considered using a plumbing snake to clear the sinuses. Oh, hey…
“OIL PAINTING”
I’d like to suggest the next subject attempted by the artist be titled “Digging for Gold.”
June 20, 2012 at 12:14 pm
Oh thank goodness I wasn’t the only one thinking about sinuses after seeing this.
June 20, 2012 at 1:31 pm
My sinuses cleared up dramatically when I stopped eating awesome gourmet italian and french bread, and drinking fine red wine. More than 2 pieces of bread, or a couple glasses of red wine, and my sinuses start up again.
Once I realized I had food sensitivities (not allergies) I began to test what triggered the reaction, and I have been off allergy meds for over 6 months now. I haven’t had an asthma attack in over a year.
If I don’t mind sneezing and maybe getting asthmatic, I’ll get drunk on red wine. But I find that white wine or hard liquor work just fine without triggering the reaction. And I can find crackers that aren’t wheat-based.
So you don’t need to shove a tamping rod into your sinuses. If you’re willing to experiment with your diet, you may discover certain food triggers, which you can then choose to remove or endure.
June 20, 2012 at 4:32 pm
oh, heavens i wish i ate any of that stuff [i guess sometimes i eat spaghetti, & it's not frozen spaghetti]. i wish i did cos then i would go off it for certain to kill my stupid headaches. or part of them, anyway. i have teeth problems & trigeminal neuralgia [from having had shingles]–anyway i am yakking too much. i’m only doing it, believe it or not, to thank you for at least giving me an idea of what might might might might might help kill some of this head pain.
ps. one has also to know, if one buys a vaporizer, that one is not buying the steamy turtle of one’s youth. theres a whole new world of uses for vaporizers these days.
June 20, 2012 at 6:26 pm
Good luck! Food sensitivities can be subtle to nail down, but once you do, you can achieve control of the allergy stimulus.
I had to pay close attention to the symptoms and when they appeared. The reaction can be slow – from 10 minutes to hours after I ate the offending item.
By eliminating suspects from my diet one by one, letting them clear my system over a week or so, I was later able to test my hypothesis by reintroducing under controlled circumstances, and determine what items triggered the reaction.
More than a couple slices of Gourmet bread and flour was one; red wine over 2 glasses, another. There may be more, but since my sinuses have cleared, I am not hunting for more culprits. Whatever else I may be sensitive to is apparently not in my regular diet.
June 20, 2012 at 8:19 pm
thanks again.
believe me, i know regretsy is not the right place for this discussion so i will make it brief. i have a good friend who did the same thing as you did for headaches, in her case for colitis. & she fixed the problem. w/ me it’s even weirder cos–& you would never know by looking–i spend about half my life anorexic. so a lot of the time i hardly eat at all. i’ve actually eaten quite a bit–& quite a bit against my suspect better judgment–to see if all the calorie restriction was causing the problem. no dice. it did make my teeth break into bits, however.
oy vey, i will stop here. as i said, i know regretsy is not for talking about this stuff. i’m just grateful you tried to help me &, of course, very glad you feel better yrself!
June 20, 2012 at 10:53 am
“I’m open to comments, pls put ‘a paint can opener’ in your head so I know you are not a computer”
June 20, 2012 at 10:56 am
It’s too bad the artist is a psychopath, their technique is pretty damn good.
June 20, 2012 at 4:33 pm
he’s not a psychopath, oddly enough [i guess]. he’s nice.
June 20, 2012 at 11:00 am
It could perhaps be categorized as Steampunk Surgery? Way cooler than laser correction!
June 20, 2012 at 11:05 am
I just wish the surgeon’s tool was some sort of upcycled rusty cheese grater with a doily skirt and some other shit glued to it…
June 20, 2012 at 11:18 am
Face Sculpting: When Tattoos, Plugs, and Scarification aren’t “Cool” enough anymore.
June 20, 2012 at 11:22 am
Title: “With Obamacare out of the way, medical insurance was free to reduce Bob’s coverage. No more diploma’d doctors for you, Bob.”
June 20, 2012 at 1:40 pm
I like it.
June 23, 2012 at 6:50 pm
Thanks
June 20, 2012 at 11:23 am
oil painting……………
June 20, 2012 at 11:31 am
Open your eyes people! Or this guy will do it for you.
June 20, 2012 at 11:33 am
“Oh, I see the problem right here, Bob; you have an ebony dildo sticking out of your left sinus cavity…”
June 20, 2012 at 11:44 am
Is it strange that I have absolutely no issue with this painting? It’s weird enough to be called art, it’s painted well. It’s interesting enough to warrant discussion, but it’s disturbing enough that I don’t want it in my living room.
June 20, 2012 at 12:30 pm
He’s doing it all wrong. He should be using a 1/2″ inch chisel at the most for delicate face chiseling.
June 20, 2012 at 12:34 pm
I guess now we know what happens when someone repeatedly forgets to trigger the fireworks at the end of the level of Mario Brothers for Nintendo.
June 20, 2012 at 12:51 pm
Now you all know what a migraine feels like.
June 20, 2012 at 1:36 pm
I’d be willing to bet that’s exactly what this painting is about!
June 20, 2012 at 1:09 pm
To be hung on the wall at all meetings of the “Dexter” fan club.
June 20, 2012 at 1:11 pm
I have a sneaking suspicion that the artist calls this “The Gift of Sight”: the surgical mask, no visible lash line, no telltale eyeball bulge?
June 20, 2012 at 2:44 pm
I named it “beati i malati”
June 20, 2012 at 1:13 pm
Or did I just attempt to create irony where none exists?
June 20, 2012 at 1:14 pm
Silly Hipster, everybody knows that the preferred tool for old-timey labotomies is an ice-pick!
If loving that painting is wrong, I don’t want to be right!
June 20, 2012 at 2:49 pm
I chose the tools depicted as a hyperbole.
June 20, 2012 at 1:47 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 21, 2012 at 4:43 am
Sigh. Some downthumbings, I understand. Some others I’ll never NEVER figure out.
June 20, 2012 at 1:53 pm
Oh this would be just darling in my basement/dungeon/torcher chamber.
June 21, 2012 at 6:31 am
Hmmm. “Torcher Chamber”. Interesting misspelling. This will be the perfect name for the new barbecue grille I’m inventing.
June 20, 2012 at 1:56 pm
I guess he REALLY needed a facelift NOW. Poor guy.
June 20, 2012 at 3:49 pm
Could this be a reference to the biblical story of Jael, a Jewish woman who killed Sisera, the Canaanite commander, by driving a tent stake through his head in his sleep? This is one of those ultra-violent Old Testament stories that’s often represented in classical art. For example: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QgBISROK1E4/T8GqGhPZpQI/AAAAAAAAMKE/zf0SgwlQ994/s1600/Amigoni+2.jpg
June 20, 2012 at 4:06 pm
Perhaps it’s just my regretsified mind, but i’m pretty sure that tent stake looks like a dick with a disproportionate sized head.
June 20, 2012 at 4:16 pm
I would say using the handle end of the hammer is not the most efficient way to hammer something, let alone lobotomize someone. Just my opinion.
June 20, 2012 at 5:54 pm
The person who painted this must get REAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLY bad sinus infections.
June 20, 2012 at 6:44 pm
Very Frida Kahlo. Except if Frida had sinus issues, she would probably have rendered her sinuses as filled with scorpions or barbed wire.
June 20, 2012 at 8:21 pm
or trigeminal neuralgia, which is even worse. you know, i shouldve asked him. cos yrs is the sentence that makes sense. if i may.
June 20, 2012 at 8:10 pm
So, am I the only one who saw this as Jamie & Adam from Mythbusters?
How many beret-wearing bald guys with tools are there?
June 21, 2012 at 7:18 am
I definitely saw Jamie Hyneman there.
June 20, 2012 at 8:59 pm
He’s just having his glitter-tears removed. He got them while on shore leave when he was “drunker than 700 dollars”.
June 20, 2012 at 11:08 pm
Is that what the tooth fairy looks like in Seattle? Yikes!
June 20, 2012 at 11:17 pm
Oh great, now I’ve got this running through my head
Bang, bang, Maxwell’s silver hammer
Came down upon his head
Bang, Bang, Maxwell’s silver hammer
Made sure that he was dead
June 20, 2012 at 11:18 pm
I can almost see this over my dining room table. Can anyone help?
June 21, 2012 at 9:19 am
A subtle but emotionally evocative semi-abstract representation of a sinus headache in the absence of opiates.
June 21, 2012 at 10:24 pm
Wow, I actually met this guy last month while I was pushing my big red motorcycle around SODO looking for a gas station. He was celebrating having finished it, and showed me pictures of it on his phone.
June 23, 2012 at 12:20 am
This terrifies me, and it’s well painted, which makes it in some ways scarier.
June 23, 2012 at 12:56 pm
Hi I’m the painter, I do beleave I remember that. I’m still trying to sell it, although it will likely remain shoved in the corner of my studio for some time still.
June 23, 2012 at 6:27 pm
You are very talented, but I have to ask: are you a psychopathic killer? For the interest of science, this question must be answered.
June 23, 2012 at 6:35 pm
I certainly feel words like “normal”‘ or “psychopath” are much too uncivilized, to ever be attributed to the painter. As for “killer” I assure you both men depicted in this work are still quite alive.
June 23, 2012 at 6:58 pm
That’s reassuring. At least they’re alive! I mean, the one is missing an eye though, right? If not, my whole life is a lie.
June 23, 2012 at 7:24 pm
No humans were harmed in the production of this painting, wish I could say the same for those at the mercy of these witch doctors past and present.