pls put your home address in the heading so I can kill you in your sleep
Damn hipsters. Cataract surgery is one of those things that shouldn’t be done “old school”.
Please close the italic tag!! :O
Whatcha got against Italians??? Pssh.
You wrote “Whattsamattayou?” with too many words.
I didn’t want it to be too obvious. But since my secret’s out, whattsamattayou???
Yeah! My Mother’s half human, half Italian!
so many thumbs up for this comment thread
I actually adore this one.
but I am a bit odd.
My Grandmother would absolutely LOVE that painting.
And I love your g-ma. Exquisite taste!
Hey, at least he’s wearing a surgical mask!
Yeah, you don’t want to spread germs in this kind of situation.
That Mengele was a total clean-freak.
This painting would look great in a nursery, to foster values in the developing child mind. Too bad this seller is discriminatory against art loving computers.
Clearly we have a keen understanding of what children need.
The restraining order said something to that effect.
It would look great in the nursery at my sister’s house.
I don’t get it… a nod to lobotomies? You’re doin’ it wrong.
trepanation, actually, I think.
One of Thomas Kincaid’s darker paintings.
Oh I get it! He was the ‘painter of light’! I literally sat and stared for a minute wondering why that got such a positive response.
It’s been 39 degrees celcius here for the last 2 days and the A/C in my office isn’t working, ok!?
Just talk it out, dear….look- we’re gonna get through this, OK? There’s a light at the end of that joke.
That was the last guy who criticized this artist. BEWARE.
I’ll be nice…um…got it!
I’m blinded by the artist’s talent!
That’ll be some cataract he puts in your head.
And here I was thinking “This person is local to me, I am going to check to make sure my door’s locked.”
Right there with you.
I think most of the comments he gets will include “WTF, dude?”
Even the comments made by computers.
Good thing there’s a detail shot. It really sells the painting.
I actually really like this painting. I don’t want to own it, but I like it.
Oh, they’re in Seattle – I can pick this up in person!
I’ll be sure to yell “Oil Painting!!!!” as I walk up the driveway.
I’d yell anything just to let the neighbors know you went inside. Eyewitnesses are crucial in this situation.
Also, “Double Jinx!”
Some sort of “mind-meld” goin’ on up in here…
Be sure to also yell to the neighbors that they should call the cops if you’re not out in 15 min.
I’ve had this thing laying around in my studio four months, currently of take just about any reasonable offer
I do believe I’d like to hang this up in my classroom. I think my 10th graders would listen more.
I was just thinking I should have it printed on a shirt so my students would listen! Apparently the scalpels, probes, and hazardous chemicals aren’t sending the message as directly as this might. But these kids are significantly older than 10 (college) so they probably are not quite as impressionable.
Maybe you could hang up that painting next to some eyeball specimens floating in clear glass jars. That’ll get their attention.
When I said I wish I had “chiseled features” I didn’t necessarily want you to take action.
I like this.
It’s not badly done, as many have been.
Well, no it’s not a Titian, but better than average.
It is a nightmare, really,
and it makes me think.
It does encourage one to ponder how this situation came about. I have lots of questions.
A question like: “Could you paint an image if an albino biker chiseling the face of a half naked pro wrestler for me?”
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve asked that…
Can the picture also depict the wrestler with his “97% in” face?
i sent the painter a link to regretsy w/ a comment that he’d made the front page. i dont mean to terrify anyone but perhaps he will show up?
@ petja-herra [redux].
here is a note i received from the painter after i told him about regretsy. he seems to be really nice, actually:
Thank you so much, I don’t know a lot about these cites as I spend most of my time painting is there any way you could tell everyone that the name of the painting is “beati i malati”?
so consider it done. i did invite him here, unsure if he will arrive however.
“Blessed are the sick”??? I’d rather remain unblessed, thank you very much.
It makes me think, “cunt, what the shit?” I think that’s how you say it in Finnish.
Vittu, mitä paskaa!
I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a, um, a pry bar in the eye.
(Oh, sorry – “oil painting”)
I can’t tell weather the guy on the table is wearing some kind of fetish gear or if that is supposed to be the shadow of the phallic-like object that is about to skullfuck him. Either way I think I am about to use my safeword.
God help you if your safe word is “computer”.
My safe word is “oil painting”
Unfortunately, my safe word is “HARDER.”
You must’ve picked it out of a hat, right?
I was wondering the same thing but his arms are not leaving a shadow so Im thinking its like Gimp Gear
That’s absolutely the most extreme mole/wart removal method I think I’ve ever seen.
That creeps the shit out of me.
Well the serial killer gets points for originality I suppose.
Looks like a Rammstein video.
Is this the first time that an item for sale on craigslist depicts what happens when you answer ads on craigslist?
Its like ouroboros
To the person’s credit, the artist’s skills surpass half of the works on etsy.
more than half.
But were they really “cheekbones to die for”? WERE THEY???
I was absolutely sure, from the title, that this was going to involve a lot of penises. Helen just keeps on surprising me.
These cut-price cosmetic surgery clinics just get worse and worse.
Yeah, but I have a “get the fifth procedure free” punch card. One more tummy tuck and my butt lift is on them!
Next time on This Old Hostel, Bob Villa tests Craftman’s newest socket wrench.
You know, only in Washington would you find something like that. Along with humping llamas on a farm near the highway and DMB fans throwing up on the side of the road.
Oh the memories.
what a tool!
Well at least there aren’t 2 more guys in that picture otherwise it might have reminded me of something…oh wait.
I’m going to email him, but i’m putting “I AM A COMPUTER” as the subject line…
I spy with my chiseled, left eye… nothing. My right eye sees a wonderful painting.
OMG it’s almost Phineas Gage! He was a 19th century railroad foreman who survived an explosion that drove a tamping iron through his head.
Immortalized in oil, for all to recoil. Go Phineas, Go!
We had an entire lecture on Phineas Gage in Neuroanatomy! Crazy story!
I’m not sure this is what M.C. meant when he declared “It’s Hammer Time!”
M.C. “Etcher”, maybe?
I have considered this very thing during hay fever season. Finally, a quick way to empty my sinuses!
Seriously! I’ve considered this very thing during allergy season. I’ve also considered using a plumbing snake to clear the sinuses. Oh, hey…
I’d like to suggest the next subject attempted by the artist be titled “Digging for Gold.”
Oh thank goodness I wasn’t the only one thinking about sinuses after seeing this.
My sinuses cleared up dramatically when I stopped eating awesome gourmet italian and french bread, and drinking fine red wine. More than 2 pieces of bread, or a couple glasses of red wine, and my sinuses start up again.
Once I realized I had food sensitivities (not allergies) I began to test what triggered the reaction, and I have been off allergy meds for over 6 months now. I haven’t had an asthma attack in over a year.
If I don’t mind sneezing and maybe getting asthmatic, I’ll get drunk on red wine. But I find that white wine or hard liquor work just fine without triggering the reaction. And I can find crackers that aren’t wheat-based.
So you don’t need to shove a tamping rod into your sinuses. If you’re willing to experiment with your diet, you may discover certain food triggers, which you can then choose to remove or endure.
oh, heavens i wish i ate any of that stuff [i guess sometimes i eat spaghetti, & it's not frozen spaghetti]. i wish i did cos then i would go off it for certain to kill my stupid headaches. or part of them, anyway. i have teeth problems & trigeminal neuralgia [from having had shingles]–anyway i am yakking too much. i’m only doing it, believe it or not, to thank you for at least giving me an idea of what might might might might might help kill some of this head pain.
ps. one has also to know, if one buys a vaporizer, that one is not buying the steamy turtle of one’s youth. theres a whole new world of uses for vaporizers these days.
Good luck! Food sensitivities can be subtle to nail down, but once you do, you can achieve control of the allergy stimulus.
I had to pay close attention to the symptoms and when they appeared. The reaction can be slow – from 10 minutes to hours after I ate the offending item.
By eliminating suspects from my diet one by one, letting them clear my system over a week or so, I was later able to test my hypothesis by reintroducing under controlled circumstances, and determine what items triggered the reaction.
More than a couple slices of Gourmet bread and flour was one; red wine over 2 glasses, another. There may be more, but since my sinuses have cleared, I am not hunting for more culprits. Whatever else I may be sensitive to is apparently not in my regular diet.
believe me, i know regretsy is not the right place for this discussion so i will make it brief. i have a good friend who did the same thing as you did for headaches, in her case for colitis. & she fixed the problem. w/ me it’s even weirder cos–& you would never know by looking–i spend about half my life anorexic. so a lot of the time i hardly eat at all. i’ve actually eaten quite a bit–& quite a bit against my suspect better judgment–to see if all the calorie restriction was causing the problem. no dice. it did make my teeth break into bits, however.
oy vey, i will stop here. as i said, i know regretsy is not for talking about this stuff. i’m just grateful you tried to help me &, of course, very glad you feel better yrself!
“I’m open to comments, pls put ‘a paint can opener’ in your head so I know you are not a computer”
It’s too bad the artist is a psychopath, their technique is pretty damn good.
he’s not a psychopath, oddly enough [i guess]. he’s nice.
It could perhaps be categorized as Steampunk Surgery? Way cooler than laser correction!
I just wish the surgeon’s tool was some sort of upcycled rusty cheese grater with a doily skirt and some other shit glued to it…
Face Sculpting: When Tattoos, Plugs, and Scarification aren’t “Cool” enough anymore.
Title: “With Obamacare out of the way, medical insurance was free to reduce Bob’s coverage. No more diploma’d doctors for you, Bob.”
I like it.
Open your eyes people! Or this guy will do it for you.
“Oh, I see the problem right here, Bob; you have an ebony dildo sticking out of your left sinus cavity…”
Is it strange that I have absolutely no issue with this painting? It’s weird enough to be called art, it’s painted well. It’s interesting enough to warrant discussion, but it’s disturbing enough that I don’t want it in my living room.
He’s doing it all wrong. He should be using a 1/2″ inch chisel at the most for delicate face chiseling.
I guess now we know what happens when someone repeatedly forgets to trigger the fireworks at the end of the level of Mario Brothers for Nintendo.
Now you all know what a migraine feels like.
I’d be willing to bet that’s exactly what this painting is about!
To be hung on the wall at all meetings of the “Dexter” fan club.
I have a sneaking suspicion that the artist calls this “The Gift of Sight”: the surgical mask, no visible lash line, no telltale eyeball bulge?
I named it “beati i malati”
Or did I just attempt to create irony where none exists?
Silly Hipster, everybody knows that the preferred tool for old-timey labotomies is an ice-pick!
If loving that painting is wrong, I don’t want to be right!
I chose the tools depicted as a hyperbole.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Sometimes I wish the posts were limited to etsy stuff. Because, you know, cupcakes.
Sigh. Some downthumbings, I understand. Some others I’ll never NEVER figure out.
Oh this would be just darling in my basement/dungeon/torcher chamber.
Hmmm. “Torcher Chamber”. Interesting misspelling. This will be the perfect name for the new barbecue grille I’m inventing.
I guess he REALLY needed a facelift NOW. Poor guy.
Could this be a reference to the biblical story of Jael, a Jewish woman who killed Sisera, the Canaanite commander, by driving a tent stake through his head in his sleep? This is one of those ultra-violent Old Testament stories that’s often represented in classical art. For example: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QgBISROK1E4/T8GqGhPZpQI/AAAAAAAAMKE/zf0SgwlQ994/s1600/Amigoni+2.jpg
Perhaps it’s just my regretsified mind, but i’m pretty sure that tent stake looks like a dick with a disproportionate sized head.
I would say using the handle end of the hammer is not the most efficient way to hammer something, let alone lobotomize someone. Just my opinion.
The person who painted this must get REAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLY bad sinus infections.
Very Frida Kahlo. Except if Frida had sinus issues, she would probably have rendered her sinuses as filled with scorpions or barbed wire.
or trigeminal neuralgia, which is even worse. you know, i shouldve asked him. cos yrs is the sentence that makes sense. if i may.
So, am I the only one who saw this as Jamie & Adam from Mythbusters?
How many beret-wearing bald guys with tools are there?
I definitely saw Jamie Hyneman there.
He’s just having his glitter-tears removed. He got them while on shore leave when he was “drunker than 700 dollars”.
Is that what the tooth fairy looks like in Seattle? Yikes!
Oh great, now I’ve got this running through my head
Bang, bang, Maxwell’s silver hammer
Came down upon his head
Bang, Bang, Maxwell’s silver hammer
Made sure that he was dead
I can almost see this over my dining room table. Can anyone help?
A subtle but emotionally evocative semi-abstract representation of a sinus headache in the absence of opiates.
Wow, I actually met this guy last month while I was pushing my big red motorcycle around SODO looking for a gas station. He was celebrating having finished it, and showed me pictures of it on his phone.
This terrifies me, and it’s well painted, which makes it in some ways scarier.
Hi I’m the painter, I do beleave I remember that. I’m still trying to sell it, although it will likely remain shoved in the corner of my studio for some time still.
You are very talented, but I have to ask: are you a psychopathic killer? For the interest of science, this question must be answered.
I certainly feel words like “normal”‘ or “psychopath” are much too uncivilized, to ever be attributed to the painter. As for “killer” I assure you both men depicted in this work are still quite alive.
That’s reassuring. At least they’re alive! I mean, the one is missing an eye though, right? If not, my whole life is a lie.
No humans were harmed in the production of this painting, wish I could say the same for those at the mercy of these witch doctors past and present.
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